Power and dominance in sexual attraction

[eli]

I tend to attract some weird folks. It may come with the territory (hanging out in goth clubs), but I'm the only one in my group of friends who has ever had to fight off aggressive women and/or men who would like nothing more than to corrupt and dominate me.

I think it's the strong independant vibe I give, in which case I would be curious to hear if other INTJs have had similar situations. Or even ideas as to why I'm attracting these entertaining creatures.

[HeterodoxRobot]

I have the opposite problem.

Passive, pussy cat types seem to be attracted to me, and I assume desire to be dominated by me in a sexual context.

I think they think because I happen to be a strong-minded, opinionated woman, that I'd probably be into being the dominant one in bed, which actually couldn't be further from the truth.

[Neuro]

As far as interacting with people at clubs and stuff it depends on what you look like, really. I am a pretty serious looking tall male so if I ever had the misfortune of being in a club the only thing I have to worry about is other males.

In general though I am not so attracted to outgoing or overly confident females (I am also not outgoing or very confident in social situations). I don't think power has anything to do with it though really. I believe I am working more on the 'potential mate' foundation which scans for other things besides if I can fuck them in the near future. This definitely exists though so if you're not interested in being conquered or whatever then watch out.

[ElstonGunn]

I don't seem to attract enough people for me to say that there are any trends among them. The last time I knew for sure that someone was attracted to me, I'd say that she leaned more toward the submissive side, if you want to put it into such narrow terms.

One possibility for why people want to corrupt and dominate you is that they might think that it can be done. I mean, you can't really corrupt a whore-- you're a little too late for that. And dominating a bitchy woman could be more difficult than one who isn't so difficult to deal with. So in a way, it could almost be a compliment. I don't know. Just a thought, here.

[Seppuku Savant]

It's the challenge. The more difficult it appears to be, the more gain in perception of the prize. Though, this is immaturity at work. I'm sexually dominant, but fairly normal in terms of relationship quality in the other arenas. I pursue women/men that are fairly passive but healthy. Most dominants I know, in a bdsm context are the same.

Your probably just attracting silly game players.

[slask]

I'm into BDSM. Being a dominant sadist I always look for submissive masochists for serious relationships. I do have some kind of attraction from others with similar "interests" without any other explaination other than me being very up front and honest about it whenever I want to. Some kind of jungle-telegraph, I don't know, but recently I've been contacted by a few women looking desperately for someone to dominate them. Funny that many submissives are just as aggressive in their hunt than dominants.

[eli]

It's the challenge. The more difficult it appears to be, the more gain in perception of the prize. Though, this is immaturity at work. I'm sexually dominant, but fairly normal in terms of relationship quality in the other arenas. I pursue women/men that are fairly passive but healthy. Most dominants I know, in a bdsm context are the same.

Your probably just attracting silly game players.

When I said the territory, I didn't mean actual fetish nights, just normal goth nights that always attract a few BDSM lovers too.

[Anon722]

Why goth clubs? I am curious.

[greenblob]

What if they happen to be passive-agressive?

[eli]

Why goth clubs? I am curious.

I like some of the music. And contrary to mainstream club, it's a small community so you actually get to meet people. Another plus is that the people you meet tend to be non-conventional.

[Henry]

I think they think because I happen to be a strong-minded, opinionated woman, that I'd probably be into being the dominant one in bed, which actually couldn't be further from the truth.

You just made my day babe.

And dominating a bitchy woman could be more difficult than one who isn't so difficult to deal with.

On the contrary, I have yet to meet a "srs bizness women," "bitchy woman" or "strong-minded, opinionated" feminist who does not enjoy mild-moderate sexual domination.

Personal experience says its release from whatever role you feel you have to play in life. If you feel like you have to put on airs of "being tough," you're more apt to enjoy submission. If you are constantly having to "be nice," likely to enjoy dominance.

[rain]

You just made my day babe.



On the contrary, I have yet to meet a "srs bizness women," "bitchy woman" or "strong-minded, opinionated" feminist who does not enjoy mild-moderate sexual domination.

Personal experience says its release from whatever role you feel you have to play in life. If you feel like you have to put on airs of "being tough," you're more apt to enjoy submission. If you are constantly having to "be nice," likely to enjoy dominance.

i think it's a combination. INTJs like to mix it up a bit. :)