AntimonyLegault
10-11-2007, 11:20 PM
Hi I've registered here yesterday, but didn't get around to doing this until now. I'm 19 years old, I'm from Canada and I live on a reserve. I get the feeling (justified, but perhaps delusional) that I'm the most competent person living here, as the bureacracy one experiences as a first nation on a reserve is overwhelming.
I've dropped out of school at 16 (grade 10) due to intense interest in other things (in this case knowledge about a quagmire of stuff ranging from the occult, to history to, video games, and even going so far as to change my perception through the use of certain drugs, and delving into philosophy and even crime (bad idea). You might say I've wasted 3 years, I'd disagree.
My beef with school at the impressionable age of 16 was that I had never actually fell into line as a mainstream individual, I'd try to but it seemed an impossible task. I gradually started seeing fashion more as a 'statement' than a measure of ones ability or competenece (which everybody seemed to assume was so), so I seperated myself even further (and reserves are tight-knit communities where everybody knows everybody else and what it is they do). So it was I became "that apparently smart weirdo in the corner that nobody talks to", I left school 3 months into grade 10. I guess these past 3 years taught me lessons in humility, I've sort of learned how to get along better with people and what it is they actually want (though not fully lol). something worth noting, is that I've always tended to have a couple "good" friends, and I relied totally on these people for emotional support and socializiation. Well one of these apparent friends stated he thought me his "best friend" (more on this later).
Anyway,after I dropped out I was basically a teenage alcoholic from 16 onward, 17 rolled around I became re-aquainted with my "best friend" (we seemed to really interface socially, then tire of it and become estranged, typically for periods of 6 months to a year, yeah weird I know) anyway I basically drank the 17th year of my life away doing seemingly meaningless things, with no set goal in mind, I seperated from my best friend again for another year till I was 18.
This time was different, this guy...had become extremely dark since the last time I'd seen him, and he had a girlfriend from "the city" (as we called the capital of Alberta), I recall the first words he said to me clearly when I went to visit him "So you came to see me?" I kind of thought the way he worded that sentence was weird, but made nothing of it at the time. We visited, he drank at my house etc...but then something happened which changed my ethics and outlook on life forever. Sometime during the next few days a certain person reported a murder, shortly afterwords two individuals were arrested and tried for murder (one was found not guilty due to lack of evidence) and the other is pleading guilty to murder charges (apparently) this is an event which scarred me (I had to fulfill certain..obligations due to it, and it involved 3 people who were quite close to me).
I fell into a sort of decline over a period of 6 months, the doctors who'd seen me after the event said I suffered from PTSD and I was given a prescription for benzodiazepines that I still get to this day (this was the august before last). Ironically enough however, this event gradually caused intense feelings of indignation (remember, native on a reserve) that gradually pushed me into a more promising direction, that of education.
Ive obtained a GED last June (which suprised the instructor,he remarked that I was the first person that he'd taught to ever pass the GED when starting in ABE, and I was there maybe 25% of the time) Well getting that 2nd rate diploma gave me a tremendous boost of confidence, now I'm trying to better myself and eventually try to do what I can for humanity through my knack for science, although I can honestly say it's quite hard as I've started from poverty, and I'm still in poverty, and I have to take all the 20-30 level sciences, core subjects (currently on math 10 pure, english 20-1) and find ways to finance myself in university and college.
Sometimes it gets really frustrating, but I probably just have unrealistic expectations of others as I'm exceptional in my category, I don't think I'm a genius however, in my opinion psychology should be taken with a grain of salt as its basically a pseudo-science (it may be precise, but there's no way of proving it accurate) in some cases such as this personality type I'm classified into, its accurate...well I'll just stop rambling now, Hi everybody.
I've dropped out of school at 16 (grade 10) due to intense interest in other things (in this case knowledge about a quagmire of stuff ranging from the occult, to history to, video games, and even going so far as to change my perception through the use of certain drugs, and delving into philosophy and even crime (bad idea). You might say I've wasted 3 years, I'd disagree.
My beef with school at the impressionable age of 16 was that I had never actually fell into line as a mainstream individual, I'd try to but it seemed an impossible task. I gradually started seeing fashion more as a 'statement' than a measure of ones ability or competenece (which everybody seemed to assume was so), so I seperated myself even further (and reserves are tight-knit communities where everybody knows everybody else and what it is they do). So it was I became "that apparently smart weirdo in the corner that nobody talks to", I left school 3 months into grade 10. I guess these past 3 years taught me lessons in humility, I've sort of learned how to get along better with people and what it is they actually want (though not fully lol). something worth noting, is that I've always tended to have a couple "good" friends, and I relied totally on these people for emotional support and socializiation. Well one of these apparent friends stated he thought me his "best friend" (more on this later).
Anyway,after I dropped out I was basically a teenage alcoholic from 16 onward, 17 rolled around I became re-aquainted with my "best friend" (we seemed to really interface socially, then tire of it and become estranged, typically for periods of 6 months to a year, yeah weird I know) anyway I basically drank the 17th year of my life away doing seemingly meaningless things, with no set goal in mind, I seperated from my best friend again for another year till I was 18.
This time was different, this guy...had become extremely dark since the last time I'd seen him, and he had a girlfriend from "the city" (as we called the capital of Alberta), I recall the first words he said to me clearly when I went to visit him "So you came to see me?" I kind of thought the way he worded that sentence was weird, but made nothing of it at the time. We visited, he drank at my house etc...but then something happened which changed my ethics and outlook on life forever. Sometime during the next few days a certain person reported a murder, shortly afterwords two individuals were arrested and tried for murder (one was found not guilty due to lack of evidence) and the other is pleading guilty to murder charges (apparently) this is an event which scarred me (I had to fulfill certain..obligations due to it, and it involved 3 people who were quite close to me).
I fell into a sort of decline over a period of 6 months, the doctors who'd seen me after the event said I suffered from PTSD and I was given a prescription for benzodiazepines that I still get to this day (this was the august before last). Ironically enough however, this event gradually caused intense feelings of indignation (remember, native on a reserve) that gradually pushed me into a more promising direction, that of education.
Ive obtained a GED last June (which suprised the instructor,he remarked that I was the first person that he'd taught to ever pass the GED when starting in ABE, and I was there maybe 25% of the time) Well getting that 2nd rate diploma gave me a tremendous boost of confidence, now I'm trying to better myself and eventually try to do what I can for humanity through my knack for science, although I can honestly say it's quite hard as I've started from poverty, and I'm still in poverty, and I have to take all the 20-30 level sciences, core subjects (currently on math 10 pure, english 20-1) and find ways to finance myself in university and college.
Sometimes it gets really frustrating, but I probably just have unrealistic expectations of others as I'm exceptional in my category, I don't think I'm a genius however, in my opinion psychology should be taken with a grain of salt as its basically a pseudo-science (it may be precise, but there's no way of proving it accurate) in some cases such as this personality type I'm classified into, its accurate...well I'll just stop rambling now, Hi everybody.