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View Full Version : Formal Declaration of War against Lawyer Jokers


Provoker
05-31-2008, 06:12 PM
The other day this 'mortgage broker' made a cheap lawyer joke and it has resulted in the consolidation of two conflicting mindsets. On one hand, I think to myself the following. That no human word will ever reach me. And this was how I responded to the joke - that is - completely stale, expressionless, and indifferent to what he said. On the other hand, my instinct told me to go for the juggular and ask him sarcastically and snobbishly whether being a 'mortgage broker' is a more honorable profession? Incidentally, this all took place at the dinner table consisting of myself, the girl I was seeing, and her father (in this case the lawyer joker). I thought it may be indecent or over-reactive to puncture his pride/ego/esteem in front of his daughter for the sole purpose of fulfilling my sense of justice. However, because justice (by my standard) was not fulfilled I have had to absorb and swallow the suffering rooted in the sense of injustice. As a result of the suppression, the most vile and venomous lines of argumentation have transpired in my brain.

My future policy will be to immediately neutralize this person so that this dilemma does not ensue. That is, use either a preemptive strike (interupt them in mid-sentence to throw off their natural rythym. Excuse myself while they're in mid-sentence. Make my indifference and emotional numbness even more apparant by staring directly at them with my eyes fixed while not flinching, not moving a muscle, not displaying any signs of expression in order to scare them squirmishingly into meekness. Stare at the other party (usually these vainglorious people do it for the audience) and give a look as if the lawyer joker is a complete loser or invalid thereby generating discomfort in the person.

These are my range of policy options and tactics which are ready-made for the next appropriate moment of employment. If anyone wants to add any tactics or tools of diplomacy, or if anyone wants to share similar experiences, do so.

Monte314
05-31-2008, 06:37 PM
I hope you enjoy eating alone.

INTJoe
05-31-2008, 07:06 PM
I'm moving this thread to The Lounge.

More Tea
06-02-2008, 02:59 PM
As an attorney, I must confess to a certain amount of confusion. Personally, I love lawyer jokes.

Is your dislike of the genre based on a feeling that these jokes somehow demean the profession? If so, I would hasten to share a number of economist jokes that are no less flattering to their targets. And I would share an anecdote from law school, where we heard about an attorney who went ballistic while waiting in line to get through security at a courthouse. Someone else in the line decided to tell a lawyer joke to pass the time, and the attorney reacted with a great deal of anger. You can infer who did more damage to the reputation of the profession that morning.

sriv
06-02-2008, 03:00 PM
The formal declaration of war is more of a social agreement than a political decision.

That said, you have society's agreement.

HankB
06-02-2008, 04:27 PM
I definitely agree with this. And one of the jokes that needs to be banned is...

Q: What does sperm and an a lawyer have in common?

A: They both have a 1 in a million chance of becoming fully human.





HankB added to this post, 10 minutes and 47 seconds later...

I was sitting in a cafe in Paris in 1968 with several friends and suddenly we heard a lot of noise and commotion nearby. I couldn't figure out what was happening but then someone yelled,

"the artists are revolting" and immediately after someone chimed in with

"AND THE LAWYERS ARE PRETTY DISGUSTING TOO".


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