Do Your Friends and Family Respect Your Beliefs About Religion?

[JulietCapulet]

Do your friends and family respect your beliefs about religion? Why or why not?

[True Rune]

For the most part yes. They know if they bitch they have a battle on their hands, those who don't get the same level of respect from me.

[TenochAcampicht]

They do, because they cannot out-argue me. I have some family who are deeply religious, they tend to just not speak about the subject around me. The same comes with my political leanings (Marxist/Socialist)

[Commissar]

If anything it's me who doesn't respect their beliefs. I mean, I don't necessarily get into full-blown arguments about it, but I do enjoy mocking them.

[Anhedonic Lake]

Yes, all my friends are atheist or agnostic anyway.

[SelfMadeBum]

Um... kinda?

My entire family is very very religious and I'm not. I was still asked to attend church for my grandmother's 60th birthday, and I didn't mind going because she's important to me, but generally, though they don't expect me to go on a regular basis, they don't approve, either.

Not that I give 4-13 fucks.

[zibber]

I get the sense that people around me find the ever-shifting forms my sadhana configures me into a little odd, perhaps, but there is no question that I am following the path set out for me.

[gypsy stardust]

For the most part, I avoid talking about religion with anyone. I'm an atheist - most people are not. I don't like being in the position where I have to defend my (lack of) beliefs. Besides, I simply don't have anything good - or even non-offensive - to say about organized religion, so it's best if I just keep my mouth shut.

No one in my immediate family is very religious. My mother likes to think she is, when it's convenient for her. She flat out refuses to believe I am an atheist. Conversations go something like this.

Me: "No, I don't want to go to midnight mass"
Mom: "why not, the lights/music/whatever is/are so beautiful and you don't go any other time of the year"
Me: "Mom, I'm an atheist. Atheists generally don't go to church every week."
Mom: (dismissive tone, hand swipe in the air, pitiful smile,you don't know what you're saying chuckle) "You're not an atheist. Don't say that."

This, since I was 13 or 14 years old. I think I finally got through to her when my daughter was about a year old. She asked when my husband and I were going to have her baptized (catholic). I told her we had no intentions of ever having her baptized. She then threated to take her to the church and have her baptized herself. I looked her dead in the eyes and told her that if she ever did that it would be the last time she saw the only grandchild she would ever have.

Religion hasn't come up in discussion since. It's been a peaceful 16 years.

[SelfMadeBum]

I wonder how I'll handle the christening of my children thing... my mother would threaten what yours did.

[JustMel]

My family doesn't discuss religion with me as most of them don't like nor agree with my views. My biological mother likes to attempt to tell me what my views are and gets told she's wrong but other than that they leave me alone.

My in-laws, who were all raised by a very devout Catholic, are currently on a mission to get my husband back into the church but he doesn't believe anymore. He believes it's an individual choice so when the kids want to attend he takes them. (most Sundays) but they're not being confirmed nor baptized until they're old enough to choose for themselves. They no longer debate religion with me because they can't deal with it when I know more about their religion than they do and use it to shut them up. They forget I minored in religious studies and have studied religion since I was 12. They did threaten recently to attempt an "intervention" with neenerhead and I informed them that if they showed up with a bunch of Catholics to my house I would call every Atheist, Wiccan and non-believer I know to be here at the same time. Instead they've chosen to send books and CDs home every chance they get. I do attend Mass on Christmas Eve with the kids because they ask me to and even though I don't believe it's something they're exploring and I support them plus even though I don't believe I like the cadence in the Christmas Eve Mass.

[Jonathon]

My younger brother knows I'm a Satanist and he doesn't seem to be interested all that much. My catholic mother would probably go crazy if she found out.

I have one friend who knows, he doesn't have much issue with it.

[gypsy stardust]

even though I don't believe I like the cadence in the Christmas Eve Mass.

I can identify with this. "Our" church when I was a kid always had midnight mass (actually at midnight not at 5pm like these days) on christmas eve, totally in Italian. Not Latin. Italian. It actually was a beautiful, candlelit experience. But those days are gone. Since the old Italian priest passed on to his great reward in the early 80's there is nothing extraordinary about it for me.

I am a huge fan of classical music much of which was ecclesiastical since the church was one of the largest patrons of the arts. I love Handel's Messiah, christmas carols (of the non-frosty the snowman type), and Mozart's Requiem is a personal favorite.

[JustMel]

I can identify with this. "Our" church when I was a kid always had midnight mass (actually at midnight not at 5pm like these days) on christmas eve, totally in Italian. Not Latin. Italian. It actually was a beautiful, candlelit experience. But those days are gone. Since the old Italian priest passed on to his great reward in the early 80's there is nothing extraordinary about it for me.

I am a huge fan of classical music much of which was ecclesiastical since the church was one of the largest patrons of the arts. I love Handel's Messiah, christmas carols (of the non-frosty the snowman type), and Mozart's Requiem is a personal favorite.


The church he takes the kids to does a Family/Children's mass early in the evening, this year the children's choir starts at 4:30 and mass at 5 so it'll be over by just after 6 and then a midnight mass at midnight that neenerhead and the 19 yr old attend because she doesn't like to go to the family mass with the little kids. I skip the midnight one although I did before we had the little ones but then none of us went to the family mass. The teens and grown ups open their gifts after midnight mass so that Christmas morning is all about the little ones.

[Nemesis]

Friends and immediate family: Yes.
Extended family: No.

[Antares]

None of them care, and any new friends won't because I likely won't be very close to them anyway.

[vampyremage]

Most of my friends know I'm a Satanist and are pretty supporting about it but my family is a different story. Most of them are religious, with the exception of my father who is very strongly athiestic. If it does happen to come up in conversation, which is rarely around me, I'll just tell them I'm a somewhat agnostic spiritualist, which is a lot more contoversial than saying Satanist. Most of my extended family knows not to mention religion around me unless they're prepared for an argument. I have strong views against organized religion and will debate said views with just about anyone open to it. With that said, in my experience most strongly religios individuals have no interest in debating such things. I will never understand blind faith.

[JYFly]

My friends wouldn't be my friends if they couldn't respect my beliefs.

My family is deeply religious, so it's hard for me to expect them to truly respect my beliefs. I haven't told them I'm an atheist, but they do know that I won't step foot in a church, and they at least tolerate it. Once in a while, I'm preached to about how their god is blessing me or whatever, but I'm lucky that they're not the type who would disown me because of religious disagreement.

[mormeguil]

Nobody in my family is very religious. My grand-mother is probably the most. She has asked me a few times to come to the Christmans/Easter mass, but it was done very respectfully.

Overall, the question never was much of a subject and was always treated with respect. Probably because we all know that deep down we are good humans being.

I do have to say i'm not a fan of the Midnight mass, but I believe this is mostly due to the lack of human ressources that the Church as around here. The carol are getting smaller and smaller. It's a lot harder to find people interested in doing the living crib representation.etc.

[LonelyObserver]

I grew up in a very religious family. At age 5 I was already poking holes on their beliefs, and questioned everything. My parents didn't like this and told me to "have faith". I was told to shut-up and just believe! I was told that when we die , we would go to heaven and have "all the answers" (wait till I die until I have the answers! Impossible!) I made a valiant effort once, to believe the way they do, and found myself going crazy one night because nothing about their religion made any logical sense to me . So I gave up and never tried again.

My family tried to sway me back into their religion, as they are positive that when I die, I'll pay the ultimate price for my sin of "not believing", but they finally gave up on me (thankfully).

[floramacivor]

They're respectful, but then, I'm respectful of theirs, too. It goes both ways in my family.

[ScottH]

I do not have beliefs about religion; but the question seems a bit askew: "do people respect your belief about belief?"

I'd say my friends and family know I do not participate in 'belief' such that if I say that I think something is so, it is because I conclude it likely from the information I have.

As to my thoughts on their beliefs, they seem to respect them. Occasionally one of my religious friends will try yet again to convince me, but I think it is clear to both of us that they are doing this to get a sort of nodding approval from me, as if to find some grain of possibility for their beliefs being true, such that they can be seen as "open minded" rather than irrational.

As for me respecting the choices of my friends: I do. I don't argue beliefs with them unless asked to--when I want to poke at someone's emotional reasoning, I come here :-)

[cereza]

Friends? Most. The other ones just don`t bring it up. Family? No, because their beliefs don`t accommodate mine so they could not possibly be given respect. But they know not to bring it up or they might step into an argument and won`t be able to defend their own.

[Warrior]

Generally, yes. I have friends with amny different religious beliefs. I wouldn't say it is a regular topic of discussion for us, but we don't shy away from it when it does come up.

My family is much the same way. The biggest issue there is that my wife's family is all Seventh Day Adventist and they wouldn't do some things that I think are just fine (like going to church on Sunday, eating pork, etc.). For the most part, I refrain from doing those things around them when I know they may not like it.

[freeeekyyy]

Yes, they do. Those who don't share my beliefs respect me and I respect them.

[moonmilk]

Family:They are incapable of respecting my decisions on that sort of topic and cannot be held to my standards.

Friends: It depends really. Most don't even touch that topic. I find some people find out and slowly drift away....good riddance.

My Girlfriend: At first she disagreed with me and things were shaky. She was torn, because she knew that I am more morally capable than most people, because I can keep a level head. We avoided the topic for a long time...eventually she took a world religions class which led to an apology. I knew she would pull through eventually, not all people are lost causes, some personality types just require more time than others.

[s4nder]

I live in the least religious country in the world and thankfully everyone I know are atheists. I admit I think less of religious people as they have a profound voluntary irrationality in their life that I just cannot respect.

[lancelot]

My friends and family respect my beliefs about my religion, yet there have been times when they didn't understand my need to be honest.

[Tactical Panda]

My parents don't, but my friends do.
My mother is too stubborn to actually listen.
My father studied theology and science and is proud of his knowledgeability.
My friends treat me as an equal and actually listen to what I have to say.
Simple.

[lumin]

My friends respect my beliefs.

I'm not sure about my family though. Some of them try...or have tried, if you know what I mean.

[Supaslim]

My brother does, because we're both kind of agnostic at this point. As for the parents... Well, I haven't told them, but I think my dad would take it in stride and not care too much, but my mom would freak out and try to convert me back to Christianity or something drastic like that.

My friends, that's a hard one. Most of my friends are very religious, ironically. My closest friend accepts that I am not religious, but I still live a good and moral life. She'd rather I were religious, but she doesn't pester me about it. Another friend of mine says she respects my beliefs (or lack thereof) but the way she talks to me when it comes up in conversation makes me believe she's just trying to be the "Good Christian" and she thinks she's better than I am because I don't believe in her God. Which irritates me, because I'm not condescending or rude about her religion, so she shouldn't be that way to me.

Most of my friends don't even know my religious beliefs (or lack thereof) because it hasn't come up in conversation and it doesn't really matter.

[Norya]

Not really, but they don't know my (lack of) beliefs. I don't think they'd be very happy if they knew, and I'd prefer to keep the peace. We don't really talk about religion due to other family member drama-causing crazypantsness which works out really well for me!

[Imperator]

Family couldn't care less.
Most people couldn't care less.

I tend to remove whoever does care from my circle of acquaintances rather quickly.

[Collect3825]

I just don't bring it up, its not worth the arguments and hurt feelings. I suck it up have a couple drinks and sing some Christmas carols at midnight mass.

[lupinskitten]

Given that I'm a devout Christian, and most of my family and friends are also devout Christians... we get along just fine, except for occasional mild arguments over theology. =)

[TylerRDA]

I've never had anyone give me crap for my beliefs. I'm very religious, but not in the "repent or burn" or "preppy Christian" way. I know a ton of my friend's Pastors (I live in the heart of the Bible belt) preach against my church, but we're mutually respectful of each others beliefs or not-beliefs. Every person is entitled to worship (or not) God however he wants, and I give everyone that right, and demand the same from others.

[Zombicide]

No, I'm told I'm going to Hell for it.

[kita]

My friends and family do, though I generally avoid talking about religion and have never tried to convert anyone. My parents are atheists so that makes it easy, if any extended family had a problem with it they never mentioned it to me.

The only time I think it has been an issue was recently, when 3 very Christian friends from high school unfriended me on facebook on the same day. I was a little hurt by it, but I'm glad I don't have to see so many Jesus and prayer related status updates anymore.

[Vega]

Yes. Although I don't think they appreciate my mockery of religion too much...but who cares? I spam all the scientific and logical rebuttles whenever anyone of them tries to 'prove' that God exists.

As for my family, well, we don't talk about it very much.

I doubt anybody would care to challenge my militant pastafarian beliefs, anyway.

[Booko]

My mother tries to pretend to herself that my religion isn't different. She engages in all manner of willful self-delusion to convince herself that I'm not headed for the Eternal BBQ.

My brother and I don't really talk about it. He doesn't have a problem with it anyway and wouldn't be the sort to as long as my beliefs aren't leading me to do anything harmful to myself or others.

My extended family probably doesn't even know I'm not a Christian. I'm sure my mother has taken great pains to ensure this. Fortunately for her, only my godfather and godmother ever asked me a direct question that revealed I wasn't. They had no idea I'd even had a 2nd wedding, a Baha'i one. They couldn't understand why Mom wouldn't have mentioned that and I let her older brother know that Mom deals with uncomfortable truths by hiding them from her own sight and that's typical for her. He was pretty stunned....but learned something important.

My friends don't have a problem with my religious beliefs, no. Well, it's possible one evangelical Christian friend has a problem with it, but if so her approach would be to quietly pray for my soul and not be annoying about it. If she does think she needs to pray for my soul and that makes her happy, I take no issue with it. She couldn't possibly be doing me any harm by doing so.

I don't have a problem with my friends' religious beliefs either. Perhaps that's why my friends have no issue with my religious beliefs?

The one place I've had problems is with coworkers. One company I worked for had a bunch of people who belonged to a couple of religious groups that were, uh, less than accepting of differences. Their attitudes came out in many ways, even to the extent of attempts to fire me and other heathens and infidels. I guess lying is okay if it's just about infidels, eh? LOL I missed that part in the Gospel, but oh well.

And there's nothing quite like having to attend mandatory staff meetings to watch "inspirational" Billy Graham vids about his evangelism in China or being hauled into a manager's office (not even in my chain of command) and being asked theological questions, as if that were vaguely appropriate at work when I take pains to leave my religion at home because doing otherwise is unprofessional. ATL may be a diverse city, but it's still the South.

For those of you having difficulties with your family not caring for your religious beliefs, I can only tell you it gets easier as you get older. For some reason, nieces and nephews don't think they have a right to dictate to their elders what their elders' religious beliefs should be. Hurrah!

[intjistp]

No. Actually they have ever listened me much to know what I think. They are all living in some fantasy their created concerning me.

---------- Post added 12-23-2010 at 11:14 AM ----------

I live in the least religious country in the world and thankfully everyone I know are atheists. I admit I think less of religious people as they have a profound voluntary irrationality in their life that I just cannot respect.

You are a thorn in Finnish bishops' ass. they are always saying that western way of life and freedom requires christianity. we hit them by Estonian statistics.Cool.

[56 62 75 1]

oh no. i'v pissed off a lot of ppl talkin bout politics/religion.

i get no respect.
my dad and brother r pretty open-minded, but my mom actually uses god to answer questions. :irked: and i'm sure she dsnt tell any1 wut my bliefs r

the main argument is that i dnt believe in rite/wrng or good/bad.

i blieve everything has both good/bad qualities relatively equal
and
there is no universal rite/wrng unless sumthin was done without "reason" or intent

quote: "everything in this universe is natural and has it's place in the natural universe."
(lee)

[Dover]

I haven't really had any formal religious education, which leads to A LOT of problems when discussing spiritual matters. I really don't understand organized religion and have a difficult time comprehending people's mindsets. I am probably the worst person to debate about spiritual beliefs. But my beliefs are always acknowledged and challenged in a respectable manner by family and friends. :thumbsup:

[intjistp]

My friends respect my beliefs.

I'm not sure about my family though. Some of them try...or have tried, if you know what I mean.

Yes;)
"He has this phase now [but hopefully it will be over]"

[FreeFrag]

I've been made the new black sheep because I'm the atheist among southern baptists (there is even an evangelical preacher in a somewhat removed part of the family tree). My family has no respect for my lack of religious beliefs. They don't understand why I "gotta be so difficult and different." Silly S types and their traditions.

My friends, though, do respect it. If they don't, I'm not friends with them. I do sort of use it as a litmus test for friendship. The more religious you are, the more doubt I have in your reasoning ability and your depth in any worthwhile conversations.

[Crazyblue]

They avoid the subject, but I doubt that there's any form of respect when you willingly worships a deity that 'punishes' people indefinitely for finite crimes.

[Spectrum]

They avoid the subject, but I doubt that there's any form of respect when you willingly worships a deity that 'punishes' people indefinitely for finite crimes.

It's okay, because he loves us!

-----------------------------------

Let's see, I live in the Buybull Belt of the U.S. Within the circle of people who'd I'd genuinely define as "friends":
2 are deists
3 are atheists
3 are Christians (one of which is pretty liberal, another "doesn't care" as he put it)

As far as my family goes my little brother is an atheist like me, and we have vowed to never tell the rest of my family. They WOULD NOT respect our views. I've also been called out by several for being an atheist, and I'm pretty desensitized by it (religionists kill, curse, and sue whenever possible, it has occurred too often to invoke personal reaction). Christianity dominates this region, and religion in general causes ignoramus thought anyhow.