How do you deal with other people opinions,values , social pressure?

[RoyalINTJ]

Does anyone else besides me have this "problem" of influencing from social pressure...
Lets put it this way... i have my own believes in almost everything in this life and i feel pretty strong about them.. tho my believes might be called very openmineded perhaps even unrealistic by socium...
The problem i am having is constant fight between what i want/believe against what most people think/believe...
Thing is that when i am acting according my own frame i feel happy.. i am doing my plan and i have no doubt that it will work... tho once i get confrontation i start to get some doubts... so i spend my energy to fight them off while i could of invest my energy on my goals , on my plan.... bad news are if i dont fight off my doubts i lose my motivation in my goal... i start thinking if my goals are worth it.. if its what i really want and it can go on till i decide either 1) ok my goals are good i move on.. or 2) i realize that my goals aint that good (tho they might be ok) in other words i lose the fight to socium... then i move on accepting either off these two choises i have made for myselft till the next time i get doubts...

So i guess the main factor is here is my doubts... i ll probably end up with few ideas on what to do but i wanted to share this with you all and hear some feedbacks,ideas, perhaps somebody feel/think similar to me in this area of life.. thx

[Solaris]

Yes, sometimes, but I'm not quite sure what to say.

[Double Victory]

Your (lack of) grammar makes me unsure if I've interpreted what you said correctly, but here goes. You're saying that you have socially unacceptable views of things, and you're happy with your ideas, but when people argue against them you lose confidence in them?

I believe one of my favorite quote applies to this situation:

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."
- Buddha

If it makes sense to you, and you can argue for your belief, then keep believing in it. If someone offers a better argument for their side, then you should consider taking up that belief, or merging parts of that belief and your own, or just creating a new belief off of what that person said. There is no black and white when it comes to beliefs. Your belief doesn't have to make sense to other people as long as it makes sense to you. Just keep an open mind and be willing to change your belief if you feel like you can't adequately argue for it. Ooh, I get to use another one of my favorite quotes for this:

"True wisdom is less presuming than folly. The wise man doubteth often, and changeth his mind; the fool is obstinate, and doubteth not; he knoweth all things but his own ignorance."
-Akhenaton

I wasn't sure what you meant by your part on goals.... so I can't really give you any feedback on that.

[notoppings]

When all is said and done you are the one who has to live inside your skin. Accept that there will always be people out there who will fight against you simply because they see in you a spark that terrifies them. You have ambition and a desire to live life, so they must stop you with doubt and keep you at or below them. They think that the only way up out of the pit is to climb on or over you.

If you have done all of your research and planed well be confident in your plan and cast aside all those who would hold you back never fail to believe in yourself. No one knows you and your desires better then you.

So forget the nay sayers and don't waste time on arguing or defending your choices, simply nod and carry on, don't be derailed.

[Motor Jax]

i'm not

cause i know i'm right and everyone else i work with are only partially right, even if it is really right

but then again, i am very stubborn and very defensive

of course, i will listen to their side and whatthey have to say, until they run out of breath

then i go, "hmmm, that's a good point. but i still think it better this way..."

blah, and still hearing them go on and on

or i just start thinking about worst case scenarioswith them...

ha, that'll confuse 'em for a bit...

[sriv]

I obsurely oppose pressures. If one looks from the outside, they may think I am a conformist, but in reality, I am not pressured by my peers at all.
I am a black straw painted yellow in the bushel.

[Jedi_sena]

I have no trouble at all dismissing other people's values and opinions. If it is ridiculous, it just doesn't compute. I am rarely ever persuaded or moved by someones ideas that are contrary to my way of thinking. I like considering new concepts, but quickly lose interest if it has no perceived value. If I believe something, then I KNOW it is right.

[mkay]

So forget the nay sayers and don't waste time on arguing or defending your choices, simply nod and carry on, don't be derailed.

I wholeheartedly agree.

People can't argue with you if you don't argue with them. ... I've swum upstream a lot, which doesn't get you much support. I figure I save myself time, energy and wear and tear if I just do my thing and let other people gnash their teeth. ;D

[cdbrow1]

I usually just don't respond (like MKay). There is no point in trying to change OPMs (other peoples minds) they just resent it when you try. Sometimes I do a nice fakey thing and ask them about what they believe so they can "explain" it to me, but as I get older I have tolerance for such BS. Now I just nod and move on.

People really don't want you to agree with them - they unusually just want to feel like you have listened to them (especially when the "people" are of the female gender). It took me a long time to figure out that I don't actually NEED to respond for them to feel ok.