Help! I think I'm invisible.

[justmeiguess]

Sometimes when I'm out an about I feel like I'm invisible or something. Firstly, people have an annoying habit of trying to walk through me. Secondly, when I'm in, say, a book shop or music store and I'm stood back scanning the shelves for a particular title, someone almost always decides to stand bang smack in front of me to get a better look. It's like I'm in one of those films where I've become a ghost and haven't quite realised it yet! Finally, even when I'm being quite extroverted (for me, anyway) I'm always the one who's name gets forgotten or people forget I was present at a particular occassion.

So, am I invisible? Anyone else want to help set up a support group? And more importantly, anyone know how to make it stop?!

[Mafiaangel180]

Sometimes when I'm out an about I feel like I'm invisible or something. Firstly, people have an annoying habit of trying to walk through me. Secondly, when I'm in, say, a book shop or music store and I'm stood back scanning the shelves for a particular title, someone almost always decides to stand bang smack in front of me to get a better look. It's like I'm in one of those films where I've become a ghost and haven't quite realised it yet! Finally, even when I'm being quite extroverted (for me, anyway) I'm always the one who's name gets forgotten or people forget I was present at a particular occassion.

So, am I invisible? Anyone else want to help set up a support group? And more importantly, anyone know how to make it stop?!

You aren't invisible. It's just sometimes people are so...thoughtless when it comes to others.

[Uytuun]

Hmmm...I always feel like I stand out. Well, in the case of the book store, you could ask the person who does that to move over a little so you can see too...there is no harm in asking in a friendly (but determined) manner.

Clearly you're not invisible...perhaps try to act a little more assertive...it might influence your attitude and behaviour which might in turn influence other people's attitude towards you.

BTW, I love the contrast between my reply and Mafia's. Good compatibility, though. :)

[Motor Jax]

i'm usually noticed and recognized everywhere i go

its total opposite with me as in like random people i've either just met once a few years ago and i've forgotten them, or they seem to just heard about me or something

i mean, random people that i don't really know will call me out... wtf?


and then, if by some unlucky chance, someone gets in front of me and in my way, i usually compliment how their backside looks, or put my hands on their shoulder... and then tell them that was what i thought they wanted me to do...

ha ha, i kid... but that would be funny though!

[Vicimdhar]

Finally, even when I'm being quite extroverted (for me, anyway) I'm always the one who's name gets forgotten or people forget I was present at a particular occassion.

So, am I invisible? Anyone else want to help set up a support group? And more importantly, anyone know how to make it stop?!
Same thing used to happen to me. One cause was that I never talked about myself. When you're only asking questions/talking about general stuff, people will notice you but have nothing to remember you by. Even though I dislike it, I try to insert facts about myself in a conversation if I want people to remember me.

Your other 'invisibility'-problem is probably related to your posture, style of walking, etc. Walk in a more 'powerful' way and you'll be seen.

[mkay]

Same thing used to happen to me. One cause was that I never talked about myself. When you're only asking questions/talking about general stuff, people will notice you but have nothing to remember you by. Even though I dislike it, I try to insert facts about myself in a conversation if I want people to remember me.

Your other 'invisibility'-problem is probably related to your posture, style of walking, etc. Walk in a more 'powerful' way and you'll be seen.

That sounds on track. ... In general, people often are oblivious, maybe rude. I notice, for instance, that my INTJ husband is pretty oblivious of people even though he is quite polite. Like he won't realize he's just stepped in front of someone or is about to bump into people. I often tug him out of people's ways, which he finds annoying. But he doesn't realize he's being oblivious and carrying himself in a way that rudely blocks someone else. ... Then there are some people who just don't care if they're being rude. ... I try not to take that kind of thing personally. I figure if someone is being oblivious or rude, that's their cluelessness or rudeness, and it has nothing to do with me personally; I just happen to be observing it.

[Mozzes]

Maybe you are invisible. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility. :p

[Noehelia]

Don't you recognize your differences with other people? That was happening with me when I was a teenager. I was going out with my friends and people did not even realized I was in the company. My friends were telling me that it wasn't other people's fault, I was the one that did not let my presence known. I was feeling so insecure it was liked I had shrunk my space in the minimum I could occupy. Have you noticed some people that they have this kind of posture like they are occupying more cubic meters around them than others? My style of walking was like I was a feather, I talked like with an insecure tone of voice like I wasn't certain for what I was saying, like I would insult people if I let my presence be more vivid.
Well, I have changed all that by observing others and exercising the way I wanted to be. As the time gone by the changes blended in and now they are mine and I feel comfortable with them. I walk like I own the world and kind of feel that way. Ofc I am still the calm person I was but I show it a bit differently.

[changos]

You aren't invisible. It's just sometimes people are so...thoughtless when it comes to others.
I've been there too. Also on the other side as I'm very tall (being easily noticed). I know both extremes. In my case I see a relationship with being invisible and how I feel.

If I feel extremely sad or down... and diving into deep waters of thinking about something... I became invisible. I guess is because my body posture and body language... Because when I'm at my fullest, I could say I project my energy.

[sriv]

I sometimes feel like I am invisible as well. For a few reasons, I do not talk much about myself because I am extremely humble, I do not make a huge statement (in terms of clothes, expressions, behavior), and I am a relatively small person which could fit into the statement. I am inconspicuous. Anyone else feel highly underestimated because of this invisibility?

I take complete advantage of it.
-It is the perfect atmosphere for an I.
-Whenever I do make a statement, I become extremely noticable because people like to know more about me even though they do not conciously ask me for info (I am guessing that is rude, idk)
-As long as I do not make a negative statement, the public will only see the good in me. The flip side is if I mess up, it will be harder to gain quick notice because people remember screw-ups better than successes.

[SiMey]

I enjoy being invisible and look for the benefits in it.

Yeah okay, people might forget I was at a party or that they even invited me but I know that's how life is for me.

It's pretty handy, for example, in going to a work lunch. I can attend, say nothing and no one will have noticed. Yet if I don't go people complain I'm being anti-social. It freaks them when I say I'd prefer not to go.

I can acknowledge that you don't want to be invisible all the time. Somehow I can still where a loud shirt and go unnoticed. I think a career in shoplifting may be in order.

People worthy of your time will notice you.

[Learning]

Sometimes when I'm out an about I feel like I'm invisible or something. Firstly, people have an annoying habit of trying to walk through me. Secondly, when I'm in, say, a book shop or music store and I'm stood back scanning the shelves for a particular title, someone almost always decides to stand bang smack in front of me to get a better look. It's like I'm in one of those films where I've become a ghost and haven't quite realised it yet! Finally, even when I'm being quite extroverted (for me, anyway) I'm always the one who's name gets forgotten or people forget I was present at a particular occassion.

So, am I invisible? Anyone else want to help set up a support group? And more importantly, anyone know how to make it stop?!

Wow, I have to say...hmm... Being invisible would probably be a superpower that would totally rock :nice:. Since you want it to stop, though, what is your body language like? and do you maybe wear a lot of dark colors?

[True Rune]

What a useful skill, to be able to disappear. And useful it is, though some can't help but notice you and bug you. But they're not to hard to drive away..usually. It's kind of fun to switch it off when you have something strong to say. Though, being raised where I was, you're more of a 'target' that way.

[mkay]

Wow, I have to say...hmm... Being invisible would probably be a superpower that would totally rock :nice:.

Yeah, it would be a nice superpower if you could turn it on and off. But it would kind of suck to be invisible when you don't want to be.

[Arcani]

I sometimes feel like I am invisible as well. For a few reasons, I do not talk much about myself because I am extremely humble, I do not make a huge statement (in terms of clothes, expressions, behavior), and I am a relatively small person which could fit into the statement. I am inconspicuous. Anyone else feel highly underestimated because of this invisibility?

I take complete advantage of it.
-It is the perfect atmosphere for an I.
-Whenever I do make a statement, I become extremely noticable because people like to know more about me even though they do not conciously ask me for info (I am guessing that is rude, idk)
-As long as I do not make a negative statement, the public will only see the good in me. The flip side is if I mess up, it will be harder to gain quick notice because people remember screw-ups better than successes.

Ditto.

I revel in being unnoticed. It's where I prefer to be. It allows me to observe everything without offending anyone by "not paying attention". If I have to make a point I can always join the conversation and make my point. I also find that it allows me to keep others on track and keep myself grounded. Basically by jumping in from outside of a conversation or argument I can give an objective view (as far as they are concerned) and pull people out of the thick of things.

Truth be told, the only time I really feel "invisible" is when I try to join in a conversation on the same level as everyone else.

[Antares]

I feel this way as well. Even my best friends forget me. Hell. That's an inconvenience. Whenever I'm in a a crowd of strangers who don't know each other (mutually), if one person was to approach the crowd one by one, I'd be the last or the second last. I just don't catch people's attention; I dress dully; I have a bland expression and I stay quiet. I suspect my eyes look introspective and nervous too, because the most 'visible' people usually are ES or ESFs whose eyes twinkle and they wear a happy expression even as they stand there. Me, on the other hand, I can be in the center of the room and no one would notice me. I can only take comfort in the fact that quite a lot of people notice me online, either in this forum or in another. People like me and notice me on the internet. Oh well. At least somebody knows I exist.

I used to be best friends with an ESFJ; we were since seventh grade. In eighth grade, an ESFP came to our school and they hit it off instantly. For a several months the fantastic four (ESFJ, INTJ, ISTJ and ESFP) was inseparable., but the ESFJ always talked to the ESFP more. The ISTJ and I were somewhat forgotten when the ESFP is around. After a while, she stopped hanging around the ISTJ (because she's even more introverted than I). Gradually, the ESFP became her 'best friend' (she told me explicitly. "Well, just like XXX is my best friend back home, YYY (the ESFP) is my best friend here, get what I mean?" We were talking about friendship in general, but not about the 'fantastic four') and the two of us faded into the background. Whenever she calls someone about her troubles, it would always be the ESFP. This is how invisible I am.

[Ramiel]

Welcome to my world, we have jackets.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

Sometimes when I'm out an about I feel like I'm invisible or something. Firstly, people have an annoying habit of trying to walk through me. Secondly, when I'm in, say, a book shop or music store and I'm stood back scanning the shelves for a particular title, someone almost always decides to stand bang smack in front of me to get a better look. It's like I'm in one of those films where I've become a ghost and haven't quite realised it yet! Finally, even when I'm being quite extroverted (for me, anyway) I'm always the one who's name gets forgotten or people forget I was present at a particular occassion.

So, am I invisible? Anyone else want to help set up a support group? And more importantly, anyone know how to make it stop?!
I see you.

Sometimes you have to learn how to appear before everyone's eyes. It's like women learning not to look like a victim or a shy person learning to be assertive. It doesn't have to be all the time....just when you want to be seen.

[f3nr1l]

I've had experience in this sort of thing. Back in the day, I recall being completely invisible. So I robbed Fort Knox, and then infiltrated the Pentagon just to rearrange their papers in reverse-alphabetical ROT-13. One in every thirty papers, I stamped with a big smiley face and wrote "Don't be so opaque, ok?".

I kid. I have actually had problems with seeming invisible. Through a few years as a kid, I was always a bit morose, had no posture, a sad voice and eyes. Most wouldn't notice me. I would get bumped into all the time without apology. This was a time where I wore bright oranges and greens and blues, so it isn't like I was trying to blend. Now, I walk kind of "manly", with good posture, my shoulders back, and a kind of assertive swaying of the shoulders that sounds silly to explain. Now, people notice me a lot. I'm rarely bumped into and always get an apology if it happens, I even once got one from a biker(!!). So I think it's mostly the way you present yourself.

Though, at the same time, I can be invisible if I want to, which is most of the time. I don't think I actually change anything about the way I walk or anything intentionally. When I think to myself "I don't feel like being noticed now," I usually am not. So maybe you just have to assert yourself if you want to be noticed? Or maybe wear a really big hat with an arrow pointing down that's flashing the words "NOTICE ME"?

[Fruvous]

Sometimes when I'm out an about I feel like I'm invisible or something. Firstly, people have an annoying habit of trying to walk through me. Secondly, when I'm in, say, a book shop or music store and I'm stood back scanning the shelves for a particular title, someone almost always decides to stand bang smack in front of me to get a better look. It's like I'm in one of those films where I've become a ghost and haven't quite realised it yet! Finally, even when I'm being quite extroverted (for me, anyway) I'm always the one who's name gets forgotten or people forget I was present at a particular occassion.

So, am I invisible? Anyone else want to help set up a support group? And more importantly, anyone know how to make it stop?!
I think we're missing the fundamentals here, which is : what makes a person invisible? How did you get there in the first place? Until you understand the cause, you won't be able to formulate a complete solution.

So how does one become invisible? By being shy. By being introverted. By <i> wanting </i> to disappear. Our introversion and shyness causes us to develop defenses so that we go un-noticed. We want people to leave us alone, don't pay attention to us. So we develop a "Don't Notice Me" field of body language, facial expressions, etc.

This becomes a deeply ingrained habit that functions well below a conscious level. We have no idea we're doing it, usually because they are habits we picked up unconsciously and at an early age. So then, when we're older, we start noticed that people don't notice us, and we're like... WTF?

So the first step is to become conscious of your introverted tendencies. Often, introverted people are both trying to be noticed and trying not to be noticed at the same time, which causes violently mixed messages to be sent out, and people find this highly unpleasant (it causes cognitive dissonance), so they find the person unpleasant to be around. We've probably all been on both side of that.

The most important thing in shedding one's cloak of invisibility is to say to oneself "I want to be noticed. I am going to go out there, exposed, with no invisibility to hide behind. No matter what happens, I will not 'disappear'. If you can go into a situation with this firm conviction, instead of vacillating, you're well on your way to visibility.