What are your thoughts on self-mutilation?

[Iconoclash]

This is not something I struggle with personally. I just wanted to hear other INTJ opinions on the matter.

What are your thoughts on cutting and such? Disorder? Escapism? Warped coping mechanism? Can cutting and self mutilation be compared to suicide?

How natural is it for someone to resort to cutting, or is it a learned act?

Are INTJ's likely to cut? Which types are more likely in your estimation and why?

[Jakalwarrior]

I have never been a "cutter" but at one point when I felt really dead inside I cut a notch in my arm to see if I could feel it. For some reason I found the sensation intresting and amusing so I did a few more. Didn't go beyond that though. I didn't have any drive to cut myself, it was more of just not caring about anything so why not.

Honestly I'm not sure how cutting relates to personality type though. Cutters need help with whatever is causing it though. I would "guess" that INTJs would usually go with other symptoms though.

[geonerd]

Coping mechanism - it gives someone a sense of CONTROL when uncontrollable elements of life rear their ugly heads.

You make the decision whether to cut or not and where on your body to do it. You guide the blade...how deep it goes in.

Other forms of self-mutilation have the same implications, i think.

[gogurtdynasty]

This is not something I struggle with personally. I just wanted to hear other INTJ opinions on the matter.

What are your thoughts on cutting and such? Disorder? Escapism? Warped coping mechanism? Can cutting and self mutilation be compared to suicide?

How natural is it for someone to resort to cutting, or is it a learned act?

Are INTJ's likely to cut? Which types are more likely in your estimation and why?I was pretty suicidal most of my young life and in those years i resorted to cutting on many occasions... it seemed to act as a visual metaphor for my internal pain which i was too ashamed to understand

Cutting is different than suicide... cutters usually give themselves shallow cuts in non lethal areas but it is a great indicator to really watch over that person during their periods of severe depression or during any major lifestyle change

I know the bottom line reason why i cut was because i was afraid of my emotions and felt them to be weak and wrong and i saw myself as being pathetic on some level for feeling... so according to my naive 14 year old logic it made sense to me to convert my illogical pain (feelings) into a more "worthy" problem

But i was also raised in a family who did not talk about feelings so at that point i had never had an emotional outlet in my life

I don't know so much about tendencies with specific types but i know people from all different categories of temperament that had periods of self mutilation in their lifetime

[Parallel]

My roommate during my freshman year of college was a complete freak. She was extremely socially retarded and was the creepiest motherfckr to be around; you could just feel evil energy coming from her and I had to live with this for a whole year.

Anyway, once my friend and I came into the room and there were bloody tissues lying on her bed and later I asked her if she had a nosebleed or something and she replied that she had stolen one of my razors and cut herself.

Basically, in her case she was extremely disturbed as she said she heard voices telling her to kill herself and her parents continually verbally abused her and she saw her mom try to kill herself 3 times. She probably cut to distract herself from the mental pain and as a way of releasing that pain. Also usually people who cut themselves have extremely low self-esteem so they have no self-respect for their body and feel like they deserve to be mutilated.

[rwyatt365]

Personally, I think it's some kind of cry out - a way to say "I'm in trouble...SEE!" without actually saying anything. I've never had the desire to do this to myself, no matter how bad things seemed - but that's just me.

[sriv]

I never considered doing it myself, but I think that N's are more likely to do it because of how creative they get sometimes. Next stereotype would be I, then F, then maybe J. According to my extremely opinionated superlative, we are only a letter off! :scared:

[Tenacious B]

Personally, I think it's some kind of cry out - a way to say "I'm in trouble...SEE!" without actually saying anything. I've never had the desire to do this to myself, no matter how bad things seemed - but that's just me.
That's how I've always thought about it, cutting seems like a cry for attention.


I was watching a show on Discovery years back about "extreme" body modifications. Not your typical piercings and tats, but rather items like lacing up your back like a girdle (and other similar stuff).

One guy had cut off a finger just to see if he could take the pain and to see what it would be like to not have it anymore.


I wondered if some these people were just really bored.

[azelismia]

it makes no sense. I've never had a desire to hurt myself in any way, shape or form. it's not something any rational person would do.

[malefide]

I always found it pointless. At the darkest moments of my life during the worst of my despair or depression, the thought did cross my mind, but there was still a rational voice in the back of my mind saying "you will regret this if you begin". Personally I get more satisfaction out of violently stabbing inanimate objects (walls, etc.).

[PRBori]

Not only it's a cry for help, but also a psychological problem that requires immediate attention. It is sad that people resort to such behavior and actually mutilate themselves, that's a sign of low self-esteem and a believe that they are worthless... bad very bad... strongly recommend professional help to deal with it.

I've never thought of killing myself for I've always believe I'm in this world for a reason... I have a very strong view of myself and values...

Although, if someone else had being thru all I've being thru in my life, I think they would most likely resort to such behavior.


I'm just a weird one.. always see things differently and for some reason killing myself or mutilating myself is out of the question... for my body is precious... and essential for my life goals... not to mention for those that depend on me...

[AlphaGlobin]

Much of it is a matter of motivation. The simple fact of the matter is that self-directed harm is a behaviour, not an illness or disorder. That is, many different illnesses, disorders, or other sources can behaviourally manifest as self-directed harm, but the behaviour isn't synonymous with the cause itself.

There are two ways to deal with the problem behaviour -- treat the symptom or treat the cause. I don't have the statistics to prove which is better, and it is best not to jump to any conclusions. If you're going to engage in behavioural modification, it's best to consult your psychiatrist to determine the best course of action. Some instances of self directed harm are apparently "causeless", while others stem from a deeper entanglement of problems.

Example: I've always rated incredibly high on the standard tests for self-esteem. That is, I am quite aware that I have "a lot going for me". However, I used to consciously engage in self-directed harm, not as a controlled coping mechanism to deal with hopelessness, or as a violent bout of self loathing, but simply for the stimulation accompanying it. The flood of emotion that would overtake me was centering and intense -- a break from the daily grind, where I could focus on the feelings of pain. This is an instance of the "causeless" variety -- I simply had a problematic association, linking self-harm with pleasant outcomes. When the behaviour became a bit more invasive in my life, I had reason to search out alternative behaviours and social support, to fill the gap.

Of course, instances of the second variety exist as well, and they require a different approach. Though, both should be treated with ample social support and empathy. There are no bad people - only bad behaviours.

[DarkFury]

let's see...when i was younger my life was miserable so I had the seldom desire to end my life. However, this was when I was around the age of 5 and 7. I never actually cut myself once in my life, and at an early age I decided that I would not bother to take my life simply because I never deserved it. I just blamed my pain on those who were the true cause of it, and desired to take it out on them instead.

Recently I've learned to let go of my past, and none of it really matters to me anymore. The past is the past, and the future is the only thing significant anymore.

As far as cutting goes, I've never thought of "cutting" myself, it was either take my life or don't. Cutting is pointless honestly, all it does is show a cry for help. But why on earth would you want to emphasize a cry for help by inflicting damage to yourself, that just makes no sense.

Cutting isn't really what I'd consider a "learned" act. It is simply based on how you view life. If you view life as inevitable and hopeless, it is more likely that you will inflict damage on yourself, but I feel it also varies by T and F factors as well. T's tend to rationalize the situation, F's are too emotional and just rip themselves apart.

[Jrrd]

It doesn't make any sense to me. I could see how someone could get a slight high off of the endorphins released by the brain after being injured, but there are less harmful ways to achieve the same feeling. Go exercise. Eat chocolate. Something.

[athenian200]

I think people who do that are kind of creepy, but I still feel sorry for them. I mean, yes, you're in pain... why do you want to make it worse? I could understand committing suicide by chloroforming yourself and taking poison to end the suffering, but causing pain on purpose? That's irrational, abnormal, and masochistic behavior that I would never condone. It's so absurd it disgusts me... and I can feel rather deeply at times for other things.

I mean, I could even understand hitting/attacking another person more easily than I could understand doing something like... cutting yourself. *shivers*

I think it's a sign of mental illness. It's a cry for help. I hope I haven't offended anyone with that, but... it just chills me.

[searcher]

Cutting is an interesting concept.
I never have cut my wrists and never will.
I know people who have, and some who still do.
However, I have cut the side of my hip once or twice. Just a pain thing. Pain is strange to people in certain situations. you have emotional pain and try to see how it equates to exterior pain.
It is an interesting experience but I am most certainly not reccommending it.
I have also self tattooed. I have two small pawprints in the same place that I did my cutting. However, these have meaning, so I'm not sure how they relate here.

[yondyr]

I know one submissive male who cuts himself during online sex for verisimilitude to experience pain as a heightening of sexual experience. But that's in the BDSM Lifestyle.

[EsoteriEccentri]

This topic is... rather close to home for me, since I have been doing so since I was 12.
Though, I had been injuring myself even before that although I wasn't aware what I was doing.
I very much dislike the word "cutting."
But then, I dislike self harm, self mutilation and such too. I like to keep myself separate from those words.
There are lots of reasons why I do this. None of them are about getting pleasure from pain. Sometimes, it is to punish myself. Also, if you can imagine a test tube with lines up the side; once my emotions go past the top line I turn into a sort of animal and it's the only thing I know how to do. If you think of it as turning emotional pain to physical pain.
Sometimes, I get completely empty. No emotions whatsoever. Just sickening emptiness, and I suppose that's the most dangerous time as you can do whatever you like to yourself and you don't really feel it.
Somehow, I think it's because I think something will happen if I do it, somehow it will help. It does, if I'm very emotional.
My mum knows. The school nurse told her. I almost fainted telling the school nurse. What people do not understand is how it is such an intensely private thing. I'm so ashamed of it, and in many ways it is also a form of expression.
So saying that I don't really want to continue now. I don't like talking about it much. But it's far easier online.

I'm not looking for any sort of pity. It's a coping mechanism, and often a way of escape if you bleed enough to make yourself faint. Drinking is a coping mechanism too, so is having a huge row with your best friend. We ALL have coping mechanisms, and it's no-one's fault but my own when I'm older and I see my arm so thick with scars there's no arm left.

I'm not even going to touch upon the "is it a sign of weakness" thing. I am a weak person, I know that. Which is why I put so much effort into NOT being weak. But that doesn't apply for all SI'ers. Like I said, it is just another coping mechanism.

But there are so many other ways to get attention. If there's one thing it's not - it's not a cry for attention.

Some people only do it when something bad happens, others make it a habit, an addiction. Like drugs, to keep them sane. I only resort to it when something bad happens, but I fear it becoming a habit.

Eh. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say here.
But oh well.

It does not mean people are messed up, insane. It does not mean they are suicidal, though most of them may have attempted suicide. It is not just teenage girls wanting attention.
There is no human being in the world that doesn't face problems.

I guess you ought to go to lifeSIGNS.org.
They could tell you about it far better than I could =)

EDIT:
I have heard lots of people say that INFPs are the most likely to cut or hurt themselves. Indeed, there are a lot of INFPs on INFP.gc who have had experience of cutting themselves.
But I would expect INTJs to be quite likely to cut, aswell.

[yondyr]

I assume you're an adult in the legal sense, though to me 18 is wayy too old for people to be given freedom of choice. But in any case it's nobody's business but yours, and always your choice of what you want to do with your body. You're already seeing the situation clearly, and I'll respect that. And.. thanks for opening up to the point of sharing your experiences with us.

[EsoteriEccentri]

I know the bottom line reason why i cut was because i was afraid of my emotions and felt them to be weak and wrong and i saw myself as being pathetic on some level for feeling... so according to my naive 14 year old logic it made sense to me to convert my illogical pain (feelings) into a more "worthy" problem




Yes. Cutting is a "real" pain.

yondyr:
Were you talking to me? I'm not sure if you were. But in any case, I'm nearly fifteen. (Though I dread becoming older)
I think people should always have "freedom of choice" although with parents I suppose children don't have that same choice. Though they should.
My mum has not forced me to stop, though my guilt at her sadness should already have done that. It has not - but I do know that that made me try so much harder to stop than her telling me not to do it ever would.
The thing is, I'm not sure what would happen if I didn't do it. I have tried before, but on those times I have become desperate, crazy, and tried to kill myself instead. I don't think it counts as a suicide attempt though, as I am not suicidal. Besides, I wasn't actually thinking at all at those times.
But the point of the matter is, there are always ways you can hurt yourself even if you are told to stop.. there are always ways, even if everything you use is confiscated.
I'm going to see a psychologist soon, my school nurse has referred me to them with my mum's permission. It was discovered less than a month ago, because as it is the summer term now we have to wear short sleeves in P.E
Last summer term, it was confined to hidden places.


The thing is, I'm sure many of you think I'm stupid, pathetic, attention seeking, typical teenager, ridiculous... I'm not sure what you think of me. But I can't really begin to explain why I do it. Anymore than anyone in the world could begin to explain why they do anything.
And, when I'm not doing it the whole idea seems so silly. Even when I'm very, very upset- so much so that I have no hope left in the world (we all know THAT feeling)... as long as I don't have that urge, the idea still seems so silly.
I think it is somehow linked to Fi, which both INTJs and INFPs have. Directing things inwards. Like I said before, it's an extremely personal thing.

And hurting other things doesn't help at all, it has to be me.

I guess every Si'er does it for different reasons. They can span identity, anxiety, "numbness"/voidness, uncontrollable emotions, traumatic events... there are so many reasons.
I don't think it's clearly definable.
And I don't think that it can be used to define that person in any way or make assumptions about them or their lives.

[yondyr]

{The thing is, I'm sure many of you think I'm stupid, pathetic, attention seeking, typical teenager, ridiculous... I'm not sure what you think of me. But I can't really begin .....}

Don't be too sure of what others think, Esoteric. I think you'll find a great deal of compassion from the people here who read your words. Specially as so many are younger and still finding their own positions in the world. And many will send you silent encouragement to find your balance. I sure am.

[EsoteriEccentri]

Well, I'm not sure what to say.
But thank you =)
Those words mean a lot to me.

[sriv]

The thing is, I'm sure many of you think I'm stupid, pathetic, attention seeking, typical teenager, ridiculous... I'm not sure what you think of me. But I can't really begin to explain why I do it. Anymore than anyone in the world could begin to explain why they do anything.
And, when I'm not doing it the whole idea seems so silly. Even when I'm very, very upset- so much so that I have no hope left in the world (we all know THAT feeling)... as long as I don't have that urge, the idea still seems so silly.


I have reasons (however lame) for everything I do and I try to find reason in the environment around me.

If that is how you want to cope, so be it. Personally, I believe there are more helpful coping mechanisms.

[EsoteriEccentri]

That's not what I meant.
I mean reasons in a different sense. After all, I seem to spend my entire life thinking about things like that, never reaching a satisfactory answer. I have reasons, but I'm not sure of the reasons for the reasons and why they should be reasons to me. Lame reasons do not satisfy me. I try and find reasons within myself.

What others?
There is some sort of drive, once you reach a certain point, to self destruct. I guess it could be in the form of hitting yourself or overdose or whatever. And I mean physically self destruct, though I guess it can manifest itself in some as mentally too. I'm sure everyone has experienced it, though they may not have realized...

But all I know is that hurting myself makes everything okay again. It clears my conscience temporarily, it clears me of emotion. Sometimes, it makes emotions apparent.

Yes, there probably are more helpful things. I haven't found them yet though. And this is strictly a short term relief. It doesn't really last very long at all.

Also, "choice"
I don't know. I do it to myself, surely it's a choice?
But then, every time I swear to myself that I will never do it again and it makes me sick even to look at the blades. Sick sick sick. I hate it.

[sriv]

That's not what I meant.
I mean reasons in a different sense. After all, I seem to spend my entire life thinking about things like that, never reaching a satisfactory answer. I have reasons, but I'm not sure of the reasons for the reasons and why they should be reasons to me. Lame reasons do not satisfy me. I try and find reasons within myself.

What others?
There is some sort of drive, once you reach a certain point, to self destruct. I guess it could be in the form of hitting yourself or overdose or whatever. And I mean physically self destruct, though I guess it can manifest itself in some as mentally too. I'm sure everyone has experienced it, though they may not have realized...

But all I know is that hurting myself makes everything okay again. It clears my conscience temporarily, it clears me of emotion. Sometimes, it makes emotions apparent.

Yes, there probably are more helpful things. I haven't found them yet though. And this is strictly a short term relief. It doesn't really last very long at all.

Also, "choice"
I don't know. I do it to myself, surely it's a choice?
But then, every time I swear to myself that I will never do it again and it makes me sick even to look at the blades. Sick sick sick. I hate it.

I look at self-mutilation as a form of torture. It is your belief that you deserve that torture or not. I do not believe anyone deserves torture.

I have never consciously experienced a drive to self-destruct. Even when I was overflowing with guilt or embarassment, I made sure I did not do anything desperate.

People look at the extraversion of emotions as the only way to release them. There are ways of controlling and dealing with emotions or dealing with lack of them without explosively releases. I live with them, try to understand them, and choosing to ignore them when they tell me to do something impractical or irrational. I attempt with all my mind to be in control of my own life and not let my emotions rule it for me.

[wolf]

I seem to run into more INFPs that cut than any other type.

[Motor Jax]

this reminds me of that movie, The Abyss when that SEAL, played by Michael Bhien was slicing his left wrist with his K-Bar
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because he wasn't dealing with the compression of deep sea, and developed High Pressure Nervous Syndrome


other than that, i really haven't seen much of it


well, i did try to cut my wrists (longways), but that was from growing up and having to deal with my stepdad... just didn't go through with it because of morality reasons...

[EsoteriEccentri]

There's no morality, no rational thought when you are self harming.
Otherwise very few people would do it. Because almost everyone is capable of thought, and it is against the morals of most.

But I hope things resolved with you and your step dad =)
My cousin has an unbearable step dad. He does not treat her fairly at all, and spoils his biological child to pieces.

[TheLastMohican]

this reminds me of that movie, The Abyss when that SEAL, played by Michael Bhien was slicing his left wrist with his K-Bar
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because he wasn't dealing with the compression of deep sea, and developed High Pressure Nervous Syndrome


He did a great job of playing the crazy guy. Intense.

[catd]

Baffling. Why would someone intentionally harm themselves? I don't understand it.

[Retz]

Seems illogical to me. I would probably be more likely to cut what was causing the problem. Though if that is me I have an option of changing it.

[ShaiGar]

I've nothing against it. I did cut myself once to see if I'd be into that sorta thing. Turns out I am not.

Seems useless. And hurty.

[Schro]

I used to say I didn't support nor disapprove of self-harm, but my opinion has changed now. Being someone who cuts, I have to say, I don't seem to do it for the more common reasons.

I've had a few problems with disassociation and for me, self-harm somehow acts as a 'anchor' - holding me down and snapping me back to a brief state of feeling reality. You could say it cuts through the mind-fog, I suppose. Except, it doesn't last very long, only temporary relief. To save my arms as much as possible, I only cut when the disassociation gets so bad it's starting to affect my outer life severely - around about to the point where I can't 'function' properly.

I've heard other reasons like, low self-esteem, turning emotional pain that they can't handle into physical pain - which they have some kind of comprehension on, the feeling that they deserve to feel pain (relates to low self-esteem)....etc. I think the main idea under self-harm is that pain is used as a coping mechanism. Although, there are times where people are calmed by the sight of their blood...such as anxiety attacks. The feeling of being able to 'control' something, to be able to have the issue in their own hands. General responses I've heard from various friends are that 'everything feels like it's going to be okay again' and 'it's not so big anymore' ('it's' ---> in reference to whatever the problem maybe). Some people do it for the attention as well, as said before, "cry for help."

Of course, then again, you have the specifics to think about, like endorphins (which goes back to the 'I can cope' aspect) and such.

It may be slightly insensitive to take it to the science behind the whole idea. However, I don't think it's a natural thing to do. It's more of a learned act. For example, I remember reading somewhere that the brain makes connections between the act of cutting to the relief it provides from the first time it's done. Thus, it makes what is considered 'false connections' seeing as it isn't thought to be natural. Then the next time the 'triggers' arise, the automatic response is to cut. Of course, like some other coping mechanism (ie, alcohol, drugs) as time progresses, the need for it increases. So like drugs, you up the dosage in order to feel the same effect.

(I'd be interested if anyone else knows other ideas on the psychological reasoning behind cutting...no matter how morbid that sounds.)

Still, my opinion on it now is: "If you need it, do it." It makes me rather hypocritical though, as I am trying to stop my own friend cutting, when I have no intention of stopping myelf.

The types who cut that I know of range widely, from ISTPs, to quite a few extroverts. Methinks the idea comes more from the individual and their experiences. Really, there are multitudes of reasons for self-harm.

I'm mildly surprised though...from the number of newspaper articles/stories on self-harm, I'd have expected self-harm to be more well known? Especially with cutting being associated with the stereotypic emo subculture. Extreme angst anyone?

[Antares]

It never made sense to me why people might want to cut themselves. I, for one, resent physical pain and the quite horrifying sight of my own flesh being ripped apart, revealing tissues, muscles, lipid and blood ceaselessly gushing out. It's all pretty irrational to me.

I've nothing against it. I did cut myself once to see if I'd be into that sorta thing. Turns out I am not.

Seems useless. And hurty.

Whoa- you try some extraordinary things.

[EsoteriEccentri]

Schro-
No, your reason is a very common one. Most people cut for an amalgamation of reasons, but disassociation is one of the most common. LifeSIGNS refers to that feeling of disassociation as "numbness." I have heard it called "voidness" too.
It may be that you are suffering from depression. Those who are, often cycle between phases of intense emotion and extreme detachment.
I can get very disassociated too, and perhaps that is the most dangerous time for those who cut or do another form of self harm as you can get so dissociative as you can do an appalling amount of damage to yourself and feel very little at all.
The reason it works is because real, physical pain can bring people back to reality, allow them to feel something, anything - even if it is pain. It allows people to function normally, as you said, and attempt to go about life. But cutting for whatever reason is merely short term relief and will only make things worse in the long term.
Was that what you meant?

Antares - Blood scares me. I've been sick before just seeing my own blood. I find it just as horrifying, especially if you cut very deep. I hate it. But I still do it.

[ShaiGar]

Whoa- you try some extraordinary things.
I don't like the idea of passing judgment on someone with an opposing point of view unless I've walked in their shoes.

So I walk in their shoes. Never tried anal... yet...

[catd]

I've had a few problems with disassociation and for me, self-harm somehow acts as a 'anchor' - holding me down and snapping me back to a brief state of feeling reality. You could say it cuts through the mind-fog, I suppose. Except, it doesn't last very long, only temporary relief. To save my arms as much as possible, I only cut when the disassociation gets so bad it's starting to affect my outer life severely - around about to the point where I can't 'function' properly.


Well that makes sense to me, actually. I had a "rough" (to put it mildly) childhood and can relate to the disassociation aspect. Never cut myself though. Never even occurred to me.

For me, the issues with reality were the people in my life refusing to face it, hence my feeling like I was disconnected - I was. Getting those people out of my life fixed the problem. Even to this day, when those reality deifying people pop back in my life it takes a concentrated effort to deal and I am not always successful. :laugh:

[TheLastMohican]

I, for one, resent physical pain and the quite horrifying sight of my own flesh being ripped apart, revealing tissues, muscles, lipid and blood ceaselessly gushing out.

Have you actually experienced this? :dead:

[sriv]

I think that INTJs are less likely to cut themselves because they like themselves more than others (except when their Fi goes overdrive). It seems that the F trait characterizes the love of others over oneself more readily. With love of others can come hate of oneself. Guilt, shame, remorse build and emotional energy needs to be channelled into physical energy.
Esoteri and Schro: Is your unconscious telling you to do this?
It may be a punishment switch that the body turns on. Cutting may be a conditioning mechanism activated by the brain, but skewed horribly with the advent of addiction and dependence.

[Serket]

A few years back I got a packet of blades for my archaeological drawing kit. Since my kit only needed one, I had to figure out what to do with the others.

What can I say, I'm a curious person, and I'll try almost anything once? So I worked myself up into an overemotional state, and tried cutting to relive the pain. While it was certainly distracting, it damn well hurt! So I'm not a fan.

That said I recently talked a girl I know out of self harm. I don't know if this is useful to anyone but I said something like the following:

Everyone hurts. Sometimes the pain gets so bad you dont think you can keep those feelings inside anylonger. That you are being sucked into an abyss of depair and wretchedness. You look for a way to take away the pain. Some people use drugs, alcohol or sex. Didn't you learn as a child that when you skin your knee or break a bone the best thing to do is distract yourself? If you hit your elbow on a desk, or stubb your toe, a little pinch on the arm can bring relief from the other greater pain. As children we learn to deal with pain with distractions or cancelling it out.

It is therefore natural that when in emotional pain, and with no other coping mechanism your mind wants you to do what you have trained it to do from childhood. Distract/Cancel.

The fact that you recognise that harming yourself logically will not solve the problem is good. What you need to do is find other methods of coping with your emotions.

Blah Blah...spiel on emothional coping methods.


Outcome: she tells me she feels a lot better now and never resorted to self harm.

[Schro]

I, for one, resent physical pain and the quite horrifying sight of my own flesh being ripped apart, revealing tissues, muscles, lipid and blood ceaselessly gushing out. It's all pretty irrational to me.

Meh. I wouldn't go so far as that. Sounds more like someone aiming for suicide. I mean really, you can only lose so much blood and cut through so much before you either lose any function/or the actual limb. You'd be lucky to still be able to use the limb. Actually, you'd be lucky to save the limb from amputation. :)

Depth isn't really an issue. More of a pain issue. Which leads me to using blunt objects. The idea of using something like a razor or some object equally sharp scares me. Clean cuts make me think of loathed papercuts. Cringe-worthy. But really, for me, just a simple compass is enough. Imagine how much harder it is to break through skin with a compass it is than a razor. Or rather, maybe you shouldn't imagine.

Simply, more pain = less mindfog. So for me, just past the skin's surface with a blunt object is sufficient. Too bad I've basically got a permanent purple 'bruise' on my arm. No need for all the descriptive, slightly dramatic language.

EsoteriEccentri - Sounds about right. I think I should've mention though, it's more of a derealisation thing, although a few months ago it was much more of a depersonalisation feeling. My arms were clean and happy a few days ago. Btw, derealisation: glass window, foggy, walking on air (without the happy feeling of course)...etc. Heard of it? I only wanted to try it, but then the addiction came along. I've had to turn my poor bird's claws into a scapegoat. I really don't care what I do, cause in my opinion, I probably don't even exist. If you really think about it, there's almost nothing you can prove exists. If you manage to find something, the mindset derealisation puts you in refuses to understand/make sense of it. Stubborn.

catd - Sometimes successful hmm? I actually find it very difficult to summon any concentration at all. Everything seems out of whack and I get recurrent feelings that 'something is wrong.' Sometimes I can squash out the feelings, but then I start wondering what the point is. But yeah, I sometimes don't feel connected either. Like, I may be standing only a few centimetres away from them, but I feel like they're miles away. Or maybe it's my mind that's miles away? Does this happen to you?

sriv - I'd like to tell myself that I'm not addicted, but that would be both truth and lies. I don't think it's my unconscious that's telling me this. I still have some choice in the matter, ultimately deciding whether to or not. It's the 'quick fix' aspect that really attracts me. I just know, 'derealisation is unpleasant, cutting gets rid of it.' So I cut. Shoos the nasty feeling away. That's it at a very basic level I guess. Is that what you were asking?

[Antares]

Have you actually experienced this? :dead:

Only in movies, brother, only in movies. Not that the sight is any less real.

Shai Gar - I can understand that it's a way of emotionally coping, although just barely, as I don't understand their rationale; probably because I haven't been depressed enough to cut myself. I'm familiar with emotional pain, though, but have always forced myself to be rational.

[EsoteriEccentri]

Schro-
However, they are both to do with disassociation? Which is worst though? Or do you not actually mind these feelings aside from their impracticality? Also, I really would advise you to try and stop. Have you tried ice cubes? Crushing ice cubes against yourself creates a lot of pain. There are lots of other alternatives listed on the internet aswell. I have a friend that uses a serrated knife that is just blunt enough that it doesn't go through the skin. It means a lot of pain, and because he only uses it in one place - only one scar.
You could also go to someone, such as a counselor, for help about it. And you may not think you need to.. but, well, you really need to try and save your arms. You DO need to go if you feel you may be addicted to it. ^^ Besides, it's not just scars - there are whole hosts of infections that you can get too.



Sriv: I don't know. I really don't know =/
I'm never quite sure.

[TheLastMohican]

Only in movies, brother, only in movies. Not that the sight is any less real.


Well, you did say "(your) own flesh," so I figured movies of other people wouldn't count.
(I agree that the latest prosthetics are pretty impressive.)

[sriv]

sriv - I'd like to tell myself that I'm not addicted, but that would be both truth and lies. I don't think it's my unconscious that's telling me this. I still have some choice in the matter, ultimately deciding whether to or not. It's the 'quick fix' aspect that really attracts me. I just know, 'derealisation is unpleasant, cutting gets rid of it.' So I cut. Shoos the nasty feeling away. That's it at a very basic level I guess. Is that what you were asking?

Yes, thank you.

Simply, more pain = less mindfog. So for me, just past the skin's surface with a blunt object is sufficient. Too bad I've basically got a permanent purple 'bruise' on my arm. No need for all the descriptive, slightly dramatic language.

Have you considered the alternatives that esoterieccentri suggested? I am supposing you have made an acute attempt to stop, but have you tried getting addicted to something else? Excersizing can be fatiguing and remove some mindfog with aching pain. I know there is an art of bloody knuckles where you punch a wall as hard as you can multiple times. The benefits are that it builds bone strength, but it causes painful bruises. Cutting proposes no benefits unlike these activities which are relatively beneficial. Best case scenario is to just say no.