Female members: How important is sexual experience in males?

[Uberfuhrer]

I want to answer this question once and for all, and I want to get a perspective.

Is sexual experience important when you date men? Would you date a male virgin?

I have made a poll that will keep everyone's answers anonymous, even though I hate ambiguity. With that said, I would appreciate those members who come out and offer their perspectives directly.

[ShaiGar]

Damn you, you tricked me with the final answer.

[Mafiaangel180]

Bring me the virgins!!!!!

Seriously.

Please?

[Uberfuhrer]

Bring me the virgins!!!!!

Seriously.

Please?

Are you male or female?

[Motor Jax]

i put very important based off what me and my g/f have discussed in the past, and i know that she would say that it is very important

if they don't have experience, she would (and has) stopped it right then and there, and told them they were not what she was looking for

now, she's 7 years older than i, and she has also been divorced twice... so that's her background on this

and we are both open about these types of discussions


gain experience from in-experience, is what i say... then both can learn at the same time

[Mafiaangel180]

Are you male or female?

Female.





Mafiaangel180 added to this post, 4 minutes and 22 seconds later...

Seriously, I could care less if the guy was inexperienced or not. Now, if you fall for a superficial type, then that might be where the problem lies.

[HeterodoxRobot]

I don't find "having a lot of sexual experience" high on my priority list when assessing a potential mate.

Also, experience is not necessarily indicative of "skill", so to speak.

[sriv]

Also, experience is not necessarily indicative of "skill", so to speak.

It* can be.

This is a question I really want answered as well. I have no idea what goes on in a woman's mind.

[Uberfuhrer]

I can be.

This is a question I really want answered as well. I have no idea what goes on in a woman's mind.

Heterodox summed that up somewhere at MBTIc. Something about shoes...

[spittingvenom]

Speaking from much (maybe too much) experience. A skilled lover is really nice but what matters most is compatibility, an open mind, and willingness to experiment. Just like many men say about women, a man that lacks confidence is very unattractive. If you are inexperienced, be honest about it and DO NOT try to overcompensate. I have found that NTs in general are very good lovers because they are constantly willing to adjust/try new things to make the experience better.

The truth is, though, that INTJ women are such great lovers...its almost impossible not to have good sex when you are with one. watch out.

[Vivid]

Maybe there's women who would prefer no experience, since some girls can be awfully sentimental. O_o I'm not one of those though, so I don't know.

[PRBori]

Sexual experience is of no importance to me...although preferred, is certainly not a requirement... There are more important aspects I look for in a prospect partner than a plain sexual relationship..

Someone with no experience... let's say DOMINATRIX will do the trick... there is no secret on having sex... the only issue will be training them to stay put for more than 2 min... other than that it's not hard to get him excited multiple times during a 1 hr period...


A little challenge can go a long way... that's all I have to say. I know by experience.:p

[Taberculosis]

If I am actually interested in a guy.... emotionally (yeah, they happen sometimes) then experience doesn't matter.

But. If it's a guy a just wanna have sex with for a one night stand; he better know what he's doing. ....because, I find it hard to stifle laughter.

[HeterodoxRobot]

Sex is what you make of it.

Communication is key, i.e. tell your partner what feels good and, or show your partner what feels good.

Receptiveness- The more you listen, the more you'll learn.

Willingness to please- If there's a will there's a way.

Lastly, sex is an instinctual activity, *not* an intellectual pursuit. The more you intellectualize it, the further you'll get from understanding it.

It must be experienced, not analyzed.

[Uberfuhrer]

Communication is key, i.e. tell your partner what feels good and, or show your partner what feels good.

I can't say that I know what feels good, though.

Lastly, sex is an instinctual activity, *not* an intellectual pursuit. The more you intellectualize it, the further you'll get from understanding it.

Then what's this talk about being skilled and unskilled that I always hear?

[errrzarrr]

I am male but I voted I find it very important. anyway. Because, women has said me conciusly and unconciusly that's the way it is... simple!.

[Motor Jax]

personally, i've never had any complaints though

of course, i've always been big on passion

[HeterodoxRobot]

I can't say that I know what feels good, though.I'm puzzled by this, what do you mean?



Then what's this talk about being skilled and unskilled that I always hear?Bleh, forget about that. Compatibility and chemistry are far more important.

[Uberfuhrer]

Okay, everyone! From now on, if you are male, please vote that you are a male. Do not vote on a female companion's behalf. If a female companion has a preference, have them register and let them cast the vote themselves.





Uberfuhrer added to this post, 7 minutes and 49 seconds later...

I'm puzzled by this, what do you mean?

I'm aware of what's comfortable or uncomfortable, but I'm not really conscious of what feels good.

I tend to be more aware of what looks good more than anything, and also what feels good psychologically, but not what physically feels good, other than comfort versus discomfort. I've never really considered comfort to be a good feeling, but more a neutral feeling, while discomfort is a bad feeling.

Bleh, forget about that. Compatibility and chemistry are far more important.

What do people mean by this, could you give specifics here?

[geonerd]

Skill is important. Sorry. But I really need to be engaged in order to enjoy it. Can I also just say that I resent having to tell people what to do? Is it wrong to not want to dole out tasks and organize an activity, just *for once*?

I just want someone to come in and rock my socks off, dammit.

And so...I spend many nights with Mr. Pink. **bzzzzz**

[Headstrong]

Is sexual experience important when you date men? Nope. If they've done a lot of sexual stuff in their past, I may be a bit hesitant. I don't go far physically in relationships, which has resulted in the majority of my breakups.

Would you date a male virgin? I would prefer to, actually.

[Uberfuhrer]

I'm starting to wonder if the people who voted "It doesn't matter" or would prefer inexperienced men are Christians or members of any other organized religion.

[PRBori]

I think for the INTJ women...sex is not always important and we do tend to love challenges so a virgin men would definetly be a challenge. Nevertheless, we are very careful on what we do and the less partners the person had the better... I'm a little concious on health related issues, specially this days...

[Mafiaangel180]

I'm starting to wonder if the people who voted "It doesn't matter" or would prefer inexperienced men are Christians or members of any other organized religion.

No, I don't have a religion. I'm an NF, I'm all about meaning. And experience, to me, is meaningless. A virgin can be really good in bed and not have experience. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to move it in and out. I'm not exactly after the Kama Sutra or anything.

[thod]

Don't worry so much. Go out and hire a hooker, if you can make her come, you can do it for any woman. Regard the expense as a training course.

Men are all the same rub the dick they ejaculate. Women are very different. One wants you to kiss her neck, the next wants you run your hands over her body. They are not keen if you go straight for the clit or dry hump them. You have to learn a womans responses.

As a virgin you have to learn not to shoot your load so fast. Viagra would help you. 20 mins after taking it your dick is banging you in the chin. You don't have any increase in desire, its a purely mechanical effect. After shooting you get a bit softer but not so much you cant get it back in. OK you are not doing it for the fun, but a 4 hour erection is going to help you learn. Makes sure you both shower too, nothing like smegma or a fishy cunt for a turn off.

[Uberfuhrer]

Does Viagra, by any chance, help with orgasms, too? If not, are there meds for that?

[thod]

You want something for better orgasms? Don't think I have heard of any drugs for that.

To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. is the only thing I can think of and people can die from that. I used to find I had more intense orgasms when smoking cannabis, but that could just be me.

I was under the impression you were not looking for enjoyment so much as to increase your skill. Perhaps this could be measured in "time to give her an orgasm", "multiple orgasms", "intensity of orgasm" etc.

[Americano]

Does Viagra, by any chance, help with orgasms, too? If not, are there meds for that?

Kegel exercises?

[Uytuun]

I would date a virgin, experience is not high on my priority list (but a man that's confident, passionate and willing to learn (on all levels) is) and I'm agnostic.

I had no idea INTJ females have a reputation for being sizzlin' lovers. :p

[errrzarrr]

What's Sizzlin' lover?

I'm starting to wonder if the people who voted "It doesn't matter" or would prefer inexperienced men are Christians or members of any other organized religion.

Yeah, Maybe. They like to push their ideas in topics they don't know nothing about.

[DrEast]

What's Sizzlin' lover?



Yeah, Maybe. They like to push their ideas in topics they don't know nothing about.

How can someone know nothing about their own preferences? I'm pretty sure value judgments can only be made subjectively.

[Vivid]

I'm starting to wonder if the people who voted "It doesn't matter" or would prefer inexperienced men are Christians or members of any other organized religion.

I wondered that as well. Good point. I would be surprised, though, judging by the replies you're getting and the women I know.

I think for the INTJ women...sex is not always important and we do tend to love challenges so a virgin men would definetly be a challenge. Nevertheless, we are very careful on what we do and the less partners the person had the better... I'm a little concious on health related issues, specially this days...

Yeah. That's partly what I was thinking.

[pensivemuse7]

I want to answer this question once and for all, and I want to get a perspective.

Is sexual experience important when you date men? Would you date a male virgin?



I do not think sexual experience is important, but it can help if you want to avoid feeling awkward if you do not have any. However, I would not want to be with a guy who is promiscuous and has had too many sexual partners, etc. That's where the line is drawn.

I would date a male virgin. But in the end, there has to be some compatibility in personality and chemistry when intimate.

[Vivid]

I always thought it would be more awkward to not have any experience while your partner does.

[Serket]

There are many other more important considerations as have been mentioned in other posts. However I personally may initially rank experience higher due to my own complete lack of it. Two people who don't know what they are doing may not be the ideal scenario. Though maybe it is? Any opinions?

[vad1981]

i'm not a girl but i think most girls are turned off by guys who are "very experinced" that is players...and who give of that impression of being players





vad1981 added to this post, 1 minutes and 33 seconds later...

btw viagra helps with erections and i seriously recommend that for your first time (especially if its with someone you dont know super well) because having sex for the first time and can scary...and actually an erection killer (this also applies to having sex with a new partner even if you're not a virgin).

[Mafiaangel180]

Lol what the hell is with all this viagra talk? Are you guys seniors? In that case, my grandmother could really use some lovin. Seriously. She's totally single. ISFJ though.

[Uberfuhrer]

I'd go with generic Viagra: Mycoxafloppin.

[geonerd]

I'd go with generic Viagra: Mycoxafloppin.

lol...floppin... *visual*

[Jgib5328]

Uber, keep in mind that you are asking girls on an INTJ forum, so the answers will most likely be different than the general population. The demand for experience probably rises with age. A 30 year old woman would demand more from her partner than a 15 year old girl would. With that being said, I'm probably in a bad position having no experience at the age of 19 (almost 20).

[Uberfuhrer]

Is 23 years old too old to be inexperienced for a man who is not a monk...like me? (And I'd prefer girls to be younger...although not illegally younger.)

[Mafiaangel180]

Is 23 years old too old to be inexperienced for a man who is not a monk...like me? (And I'd prefer girls to be younger...although not illegally younger.)

Seriously, I'm sure you are fine. But do keep in mind that a girl younger than you will not be near her sexual prime, so don't hold any high expectations of her neither.

[Jgib5328]

Is 23 years old too old to be inexperienced for a man who is not a monk...like me? (And I'd prefer girls to be younger...although not illegally younger.)

Lol, I'm in the same boat as you. I'll probably warn the girl that I'm inexperienced and that it's highly unlikely that I'll perform well and if she chooses to continue, it's her own fault if it's unpleasureable (I'm smooth). I just don't see the point in doing it, if you are just hooking up with some meaningless girl, which isn't something I'm really interested in. I'd rather hope for some girl who isn't all that experienced, doesn't care much about sex, and I'm into her.

[ShaiGar]

I'll probably warn the girl that I'm inexperienced and that it's highly unlikely that I'll perform well and if she chooses to continue, it's her own fault if it's unpleasureable (I'm smooth).

Oh baby, baby. Come home with me...

[Follow]

Step 1. Go to club
Step 2. Find drunk girl (aim away from the supermodels, go second shelf)
Step 3. Get laid

If she even remembers the next morning what it was like, it won't matter. Or do like Thod said and hire a hooker. Seriously, getting so bent out of shape because you feel like you lack experience is just going to sink you further into a pit of self loathing.

The secret to having good sex is to relax and enjoy it. Don't feel like you're being judged (and if you're an INTJ, what the hell do you care if you are being judged anyway?). Sex is meant to be fun, not something to stress over getting enough of, too much of, or not enough of.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

O.K. well..................I'm an old woman (48) and I've had a bit of my own experiences. So remember that this is probably a very different perpective from the one you're looking for (I'm guessing young....less experienced women).

I would love to date a virgin. If I was available for dating that is.

[ElstonGunn]

O.K. well..................I'm an old woman (48) and I've had a bit of my own experiences. So remember that this is probably a very different perpective from the one you're looking for (I'm guessing young....less experienced women).

I would love to date a virgin. If I was available for dating that is.

Interesting. Meaning what? You'd like to date one now? Or if you could go back, you'd like to date one? How old is this male virgin, anyway? Would you want to date a 25-year old virgin or a 50-year old one? And most importantly, why is the idea of dating a virgin so appealing to you?

You can't just throw out an idea like that without explaining your reasoning.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

Interesting. Meaning what? You'd like to date one now? Or if you could go back, you'd like to date one? How old is this male virgin, anyway? Would you want to date a 25-year old virgin or a 50-year old one? And most importantly, why is the idea of dating a virgin so appealing to you?

You can't just throw out an idea like that without explaining your reasoning.
Oh yes I can.

And why do you want to know?

O.K. I'll elaborate.

"You'd like to date one now? Or if you could go back, you'd like to date one?"
I'd love to date one now.

How old is this male virgin, anyway? Would you want to date a 25-year old virgin or a 50-year old one?
I guess the older the better... just because most men are usually more mature as they age. However, if the guy was not childish..........

"And most importantly, why is the idea of dating a virgin so appealing to you?"

I guess it's the idea of being the one to introduce something new and pleasurable to someone and the feeling of confidence in doing it right. And the surprise I might invoke as well.
It's like the time that I volunteered to play on a soft ball team for the landscaping company I was working for while I was going to school. I guess it was about 5 years ago. The team had never won a tournament. The guy that was coaching needed more women because it was a mixed league and they had a minimum quota to fill. He asked me if I could play and I told him I hadn't played in a few years (which was true). I asked if I could play second base and he said sure. We went on to win the tournament and he never called me anything but 'second base' from that time on. It felt really good because I did such a great job, was so greatly appreciated by the team, and, best of all, surprised the hell out of everyone (middle-aged woman and all).

[PortInStorm]

@ Geonerd:
Amen to the 'just come on in and knock my socks off'. That's just my opinion. Frig, just one thing I don't want to be in charge of. That'd be my fantasy- just friggin' take charge! I'm strong enough that if I didn't like it I'd push him off.

To the OP:
-Mentally, I'd love the guy to be a virgin.
-In my fantasy life, I'd want the above, so having experience would help, I'd imagine. My ideal sexualized experience in my life was with someone who had experience, but it doesn't necessarily follow that previous experience = skill.

[errrzarrr]

How can someone know nothing about their own preferences? I'm pretty sure value judgments can only be made subjectively.

I think you are not from Occidental Culture, so you don't know christians and what they do.

[rwyatt365]

Where were all of you understanding, sympathetic, supportive females 30 years ago!! :irked:

[Nanashi]

Men are all the same, huh? I have difficulty seeing every man of every personality type experiencing monotonous rubbing as his 'best, out of this world' sex experience.

[Mafiaangel180]

I guess the older the better... just because most men are usually more mature as they age. However, if the guy was not childish...........

I loves me some Steve Carell and I loves me some virgins....but that old?? That's a bit freaky even for me. :yuck:

[Scantilyclad]

i'd rather a guy have little sex experience than a lot, and none at all would just be lovely. :)

[vaguely dissatisfied]

I loves me some Steve Carell and I loves me some virgins....but that old?? That's a bit freaky even for me. :yuck:
Why?


Originally Posted by geonerd
Skill is important. Sorry. But I really need to be engaged in order to enjoy it. Can I also just say that I resent having to tell people what to do? Is it wrong to not want to dole out tasks and organize an activity, just *for once*?

vaguely dissatisfied added to this post, 1 minutes and 25 seconds later...

If you have that sort of experience on a regular basis, then you tend to fantisize about something that is the complete opposite.

[PortInStorm]

Where were all of you understanding, sympathetic, supportive females 30 years ago!! :irked:
In diapers ;D

[vaguely dissatisfied]

Where were all of you understanding, sympathetic, supportive females 30 years ago!! :irked:
In Canada.

[PortInStorm]

Woo hoo! Red n' white!

[geonerd]

Originally Posted by geonerd
Skill is important. Sorry. But I really need to be engaged in order to enjoy it. Can I also just say that I resent having to tell people what to do? Is it wrong to not want to dole out tasks and organize an activity, just *for once*?

vaguely dissatisfied added to this post, 1 minutes and 25 seconds later...

If you have that sort of experience on a regular basis, then you tend to fantisize about something that is the complete opposite.

Yes. I spend so much time "on top" of every aspect of my life. It would be great to be with an equally ambitious person who is not intimidated by me and who can just...git 'er done!

[Mafiaangel180]

Why?

Why do I like virgins, but not old virgins....

Well, some social akwardness is cute and endearing. Virgins in their 20s not a problem. But to be so socially awkward that you can't get laid until the age of 40 or 50 just screams "issues" to me. I actually know two older virgins, due to their size they lack the self confidence to even bother with anything but WoW. The one discusses his suicidal thoughts through company email. The one isn't as vocal, but the issues are there. I have enough issues, I don't need to add more to the pile.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

Yes. I spend so much time "on top" of every aspect of my life. It would be great to be with an equally ambitious person who is not intimidated by me and who can just...git 'er done!
Quite normal really. Strong individuals who are in positions of power in their daily lives often seek out a way to be 'the bottom' in sex. Many men who routinely visit dominatrixes are powerful men in the world. Many strong and independent women fantisize about being 'taken' by an unintimidated man.





vaguely dissatisfied added to this post, 5 minutes and 48 seconds later...

Why do I like virgins, but not old virgins....

Well, some social akwardness is cute and endearing. Virgins in their 20s not a problem. But to be so socially awkward that you can't get laid until the age of 40 or 50 just screams "issues" to me. I actually know two older virgins, due to their size they lack the self confidence to even bother with anything but WoW. The one discusses his suicidal thoughts through company email. The one isn't as vocal, but the issues are there. I have enough issues, I don't need to add more to the pile.
Oh..........well my partner was not a virgin when we met (he was 44), but he had alot less experience than me and he is much less socially awkward than me (not socially awkward at all). He was an enthusiastic and quick study with a very imaginative mind.

I guess I was thinking more along the lines of someone who was a virgin by choice............due to religious beliefs or maybe someone who had been stranded on an island for a couple of decades and then..... I got stranded there with them and then...................sorry lost my train of thought.

[rwyatt365]

In diapers ;D
Dammit!! :irked:

In Canada.
I was just across the river from Windsor! I would have met them half-way!!

(Oooo, Ambassador Bridge sex...tunnel sex, under the Detroit River! Kinky :thumbsup:)

[ShaiGar]

Quite normal really. Strong individuals who are in positions of power in their daily lives often seek out a way to be 'the bottom' in sex. Many men who routinely visit dominatrixes are powerful men in the world. Many strong and independent women fantisize about being 'taken' by an unintimidated man.
Aye, Kinda like me. I want a dominatrix as well... But I want to dominate her while she's dominating me. I guess that's just called rough sex. But I couldn't "Just Take" a woman, even one who wanted me too... Where's the pleasure in the fight?





ShaiGar added to this post, 1 minutes and 13 seconds later...

Dammit!! :irked:


I was just across the river from Windsor! I would have met them half-way!!

(Oooo, Ambassador Bridge sex...tunnel sex, under the Detroit River! Kinky :thumbsup:)

Hahaha, That's it, you should come to australia, get citizenship and run for politics in my party. You're fun, and kinky enough to be my "Minister of Events".

[vaguely dissatisfied]

Aye, Kinda like me. I want a dominatrix as well... But I want to dominate her while she's dominating me. I guess that's just called rough sex. But I couldn't "Just Take" a woman, even one who wanted me too... Where's the pleasure in the fight?





ShaiGar added to this post, 1 minutes and 13 seconds later...



Hahaha, That's it, you should come to australia, get citizenship and run for politics in my party. You're fun, and kinky enough to be my "Minister of Events".
Well.............what do you mean when you say you'll dominate her while she's dominating you?

[Mafiaangel180]

Oh..........well my partner was not a virgin when we met (he was 44), but he had alot less experience than me and he is much less socially awkward than me (not socially awkward at all). He was an enthusiastic and quick study with a very imaginative mind.

I guess I was thinking more along the lines of someone who was a virgin by choice............due to religious beliefs or maybe someone who had been stranded on an island for a couple of decades and then..... I got stranded there with them and then...................sorry lost my train of thought.

I did take in consideration religious values. I do respect those who wait for marriage, but at the same time: If they are that old, 40...50....why haven't they found someone? What's wrong with them? If it was a moral thing, wouldn't they have found a nice girl at church or through some healthy activity? However, I wouldn't mind a guy on a deserted island. I will agree with you on that one. All his primal urges would take over, and passion, to me, is far greater than experience and skill.

[ShaiGar]

Well.............what do you mean when you say you'll dominate her while she's dominating you?
I mean that I want her to try dominate me, force me onto the bottom and ride me, while I'm grappling her, throwing her to the ground and riding her. A constant struggle.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

I mean that I want her to try dominate me, force me onto the bottom and ride me, while I'm grappling her, throwing her to the ground and riding her. A constant struggle.
O.K. I'm a little sorry I asked now. However, this is kinda what is meant by 'taking' a woman. It doesn't mean raping her......just being dominant and forceful. So this is ...."the pleasure in the fight". Well......there is really no fight in this scenario, although there seems to be one in yours.

[ShaiGar]

I love a constant struggle. It's how I view the world. Soft sex is great too, but I want to be taken by a woman, hard and fast, without giving up power.

[ElstonGunn]

And why do you want to know?

I think these kinds of things are really interesting, given that the responses can vary so much, even among similar groups of people (INTJs in this case). I like to know people's reasoning, whether it's thought-out or not. I guess I prefer studying social things in a detached, clinical sense rather than firsthand. Odd, eh?

Thanks for answering.


I did take in consideration religious values. I do respect those who wait for marriage, but at the same time: If they are that old, 40...50....why haven't they found someone? What's wrong with them? If it was a moral thing, wouldn't they have found a nice girl at church or through some healthy activity?

They could have the fatal combination of high standards and the belief that having no one is better than having the wrong person. Combine that with a general disinterest in romantic relationships and/or sex, and you've got a recipe for semi-self-imposed celibacy even at a relatively old age.

Or they might just be creeps or something. I don't discount that possibility, either.

[ShaiGar]

They could have the fatal combination of high standards and the belief that having no one is better than having the wrong person.
I've got that. I've waited 2 years so far... Will probably wait another few years for the perfect girl.

(excluding trips to geylang and the four floors)

[Chisos]

O.K. well..................I'm an old woman (48) and I've had a bit of my own experiences. So remember that this is probably a very different perpective from the one you're looking for (I'm guessing young....less experienced women).

I would love to date a virgin. If I was available for dating that is.

Is this a perspective you've always had?

If not, what things--other than insights you've posted on this topic--lead to this perspective? And is there a particular time in life when you observed this arising?

Oh, and I'm a guy.

For what it's worth, I'm trying to get a feel for how people's perpectives may change after they have gained more life experiences.

And by the way, 48 is not "old."

[Mafiaangel180]

They could have the fatal combination of high standards and the belief that having no one is better than having the wrong person. Combine that with a general disinterest in romantic relationships and/or sex, and you've got a recipe for semi-self-imposed celibacy even at a relatively old age.

Or they might just be creeps or something. I don't discount that possibility, either.

Ummm yeah. I'm still standing by my "young virgins :lovestruck:, old virgins :yuck:."

[vaguely dissatisfied]

Is this a perspective you've always had?

If not, what things--other than insights you've posted on this topic--lead to this perspective? And is there a particular time in life when you observed this arising?

Oh, and I'm a guy.

For what it's worth, I'm trying to get a feel for how people's perpectives may change after they have gained more life experiences.

And by the way, 48 is not "old."
"Is this a perspective you've always had?"
No. When I was younger I preferred experienced men. I think it's a little like the blind leading the blind when you get two inexperienced people together. It's probably a good idea for any inexperienced individual to be introduced to sex by a competant and caring person. I was introduced in this manner and I have one of the healthiest sex lives of any woman I know.

I like to tell people my age so that they know who they're dealing with and because many young people do not necessarily want the perspective of an older person. Many young people believe that sex is for the young and that older people engaging in the act is kinda gross.





vaguely dissatisfied added to this post, 2 minutes and 16 seconds later...

Ummm yeah. I'm still standing by my "young virgins :lovestruck:, old virgins :yuck:."
I'd say that you may be a bit of a sexist. What about a monk who just lost his faith.....how does that grab you?

[Mafiaangel180]

I'd say that you may be a bit of a sexist. What about a monk who just lost his faith.....how does that grab you?

We are talking about men virgins. Look at the title of the thread. So how can you assume that I'm sexist? Such an assumption. I would feel the same way if the roles were reversed.

Earlier I said I did take in consideration religious values. I do respect those who wait for marriage, So that should include Monks. No problems with Monks.

But I think we are getting off track. I was originally asked why I wouldn't get with an older virgin and I told you. I really don't know what's with all the scenarios. No, I wouldn't bang a monk. They don't interest me and that's all there is to it. So please don't say..."What if the monk grew his hair, wore leather chaps, and looked like Brad Pitt." Just. Not. Interested. :)

[Uberfuhrer]

I did take in consideration religious values. I do respect those who wait for marriage, but at the same time: If they are that old, 40...50....why haven't they found someone? What's wrong with them? If it was a moral thing, wouldn't they have found a nice girl at church or through some healthy activity? However, I wouldn't mind a guy on a deserted island. I will agree with you on that one. All his primal urges would take over, and passion, to me, is far greater than experience and skill.

What exactly is wrong with someone developing an interest in sex at a later stage in their life?

I think a lot of people's interest in sex has to do with social conditioning, which is pretty much the same thing as becoming a sheep. I know that if I was never exposed to the idea of sex and the things other people do for fun, I'd never have taken an interest in it.

I was always socially independent and have only become aware of sex a few years ago, because I never hung out with other people -- I just went my own way. And because of it, I'm more able to be my self and be free of the silly social rituals. I think that if other people were able to be themselves, they'd be just as quirky as me (in a good way). But this quirkiness has lost me jobs, because I don't follow the social rituals the other sheep do. I'm basically being normal for myself.

So does this make me a freak? I thought more Ns would appreciate this kind of behavior.

[Mafiaangel180]

What exactly is wrong with someone developing an interest in sex at a later stage in their life?

Nothing wrong with it. Just because something isn't for me doesn't make it wrong.

So does this make me a freak? I thought more Ns would appreciate this kind of behavior.

You said you were 23. Am I wrong? I clearly stated that I was talking about the ages of 40 or 50. So therefore, that would rule you out. Please don't take what I say to heart.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

We are talking about men virgins. Look at the title of the thread. So how can you assume that I'm sexist? Such an assumption. I would feel the same way if the roles were reversed.

Earlier I said So that should include Monks. No problems with Monks.

But I think we are getting off track. I was originally asked why I wouldn't get with an older virgin and I told you. I really don't know what's with all the scenarios. No, I wouldn't bang a monk. They don't interest me and that's all there is to it. So please don't say..."What if the monk grew his hair, wore leather chaps, and looked like Brad Pitt." Just. Not. Interested. :)
Not a double jointed monk on roller blades then?

[Mafiaangel180]

Not a double jointed monk on roller blades then?

Mmmm....ok you got me. :lovestruck:

[Uberfuhrer]

We are talking about men virgins. Look at the title of the thread. So how can you assume that I'm sexist? Such an assumption. I would feel the same way if the roles were reversed.

Sexism goes both ways, you know. ;)

[Mafiaangel180]

Sexism goes both ways, you know. ;)

Indeed it does, never said it doesn't. Please, show me where I discriminated against either sex.

[Cynical]

To me, it honestly doesn't matter if a guy has plenty sexual experience or none.
If he has none, I'm willing to help / teach him a few things, if he knows more then he could teach me a few things. Honestly I would only have sex with a guy I love [/not some random guy off the street], so I would accept him as a virgin or non-virgin.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

Indeed it does, never said it doesn't. Please, show me where I discriminated against either sex.
I made that sexist comment tongue-in-cheek.





vaguely dissatisfied added to this post, 1 minutes and 2 seconds later...

Mmmm....ok you got me. :lovestruck:
I KNEW it!

[OneBadMother]

It doesn't matter that much to me, and excessive amounts of it in comparison to age/life experience might ring warning bells in my head. I do imagine that two extremely inexperienced people would make for some extremely awkward fumbling for a while, but if there was enough attraction involved I'm sure things would get figured out eventually.

[Uberfuhrer]

Indeed it does, never said it doesn't. Please, show me where I discriminated against either sex.

I was more referring to Vaguely Dissatisfied's post before yours, but I didn't know it was out of jest.





Uberfuhrer added to this post, 1 minutes and 53 seconds later...

It doesn't matter that much to me, and excessive amounts of it in comparison to age/life experience might ring warning bells in my head. I do imagine that two extremely inexperienced people would make for some extremely awkward fumbling for a while, but if there was enough attraction involved I'm sure things would get figured out eventually.

I must ask, how is sex a skill? As someone mentioned above, humping isn't exactly rocket science. What more to it is there than that?

[OneBadMother]

If there's nothing more to it than that then you're doing it wrong. :P Why on earth would I waste my time on something that wasn't even enjoyable to me? I'd be better off pleasing myself and playing video games. In fact, pleasing a woman sexually requires about the same amount of skill and dexterity to master as a video game, and might even be worth one's while, since the more enjoyable sex is for her the more she would want to do it with you. EVERYBODY WINS! :O

Or you could just get a warmed-up RealDoll and save yourself the trouble. After all, there's nothing more to sex than humping, right?

[Uberfuhrer]

Okay, if there's more to it than humping then what is it? What does it mean to be good in bed?

The way I'm seeing it, it just seems that sex is just about giving the woman pleasure. What kind of pleasure does the man get out of it?

[DrEast]

Okay, if there's more to it than humping then what is it? What does it mean to be good in bed?

The way I'm seeing it, it just seems that sex is just about giving the woman pleasure. What kind of pleasure does the man get out of it?

...

The pleasurable kind?

[Aronnax]

Okay, if there's more to it than humping then what is it? What does it mean to be good in bed?

You know how, when and where she likes to be touched and can control your body so you don't end your performance early.


The way I'm seeing it, it just seems that sex is just about giving the woman pleasure. What kind of pleasure does the man get out of it?

A man will get pleasure out of sex every time (barring medical conditions/medication preventing him from orgasm). There's no guarantee that the woman will climax so it makes sense to focus on how shes feels.

[OneBadMother]

Okay, if there's more to it than humping then what is it? What does it mean to be good in bed?

The way I'm seeing it, it just seems that sex is just about giving the woman pleasure. What kind of pleasure does the man get out of it?

I'm pretty sure that most guys would say that sex with a woman (or woman-like object) feels much better than sex with a hand.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

I believe that the reasons people engage in sex are complex and involve pleasure, affection, physical contact, connectedness etc. However, the whole deal about making sure the woman is pleased comes from the fact that the majority of men will have an orgasm through regular 'penis-in-vagina' stimulation, whereas many women can only climax through clitoral stimulation. I realize this doesn't apply to everyone, but there is a large proportion of men and women who fit these circumstances. There is very little that a woman has to learn in order to bring most men to orgasm. The reverse is not true.

Also, societal acceptance of a woman's sexuality plays a much larger role than you would think in her ability to reach orgasm. Biology can effect both sexes....which is a whole other arena.

[futureperfect5]

Define **experience** ...

As far as sex is concerned, I wouldn't know anything about inexperienced men ...

The experience that I want is with people:
knowing that a woman is a person,
understanding how to relate and appreciate people generally ...
that is what makes men **good** which includes sex.

So, the guy knows his way around the people realm ... things will be good in bed (on the sofa, etc.)

HOWEVER, if what you mean by experience is "notches on a belt" ... what if there are 100+ dissatisfied customers, (all too often the case)?

When I was 17 (and a virgin), I was working at a customer service desk ... and I saw a man in his thirties come in an sit down to wait his turn in line.
Despite the auto mechanics magazine on the table, he picked up one of the women's magazines. When I called his named, he put down the magazine and came over to the counter. The first thing that he said was, "I was reading a really great article ..." I thought it was to coolest thing ...

He was 10 years older than me (and as it happened latin, Puerto Rican, I think),
He was obviously and happily married
and he loved learning about women's perspective on life.

I remember watching him walk away and thinking that maybe there was a guy for me out there, somewhere.

So, it took some time, but I found the right, first guy ... and some others

I want to answer this question once and for all, and I want to get a perspective.

Is sexual experience important when you date men? Would you date a male virgin?

I have made a poll that will keep everyone's answers anonymous, even though I hate ambiguity. With that said, I would appreciate those members who come out and offer their perspectives directly.

[ShaiGar]

I'm pretty sure that most guys would say that sex with a woman (or woman-like object) feels much better than sex with a hand.
Yep, sex with a woman is not always worth it though.

[Little Bo Peep]

I think for the INTJ women...sex is not always important and we do tend to love challenges so a virgin men would definetly be a challenge.
Sex is usually unimportant when it is unsatisfying.

[Eric86]

22 y/o male virgin here lol

[zibber]

Don't worry so much. Go out and hire a hooker, if you can make her come, you can do it for any woman. Regard the expense as a training course.

This would prove that you are either a sexual god (about 1%) or suffer from a really bad internal lie detector (the other %).

[Colette]

Experience is of little importance to me.

Sensuality and sensitivity are the two key things for my enjoyment of a sexual partner. It's possible to find both of those in someone with no or very little sexual experience..

[energy]

Experience is of little importance to me.

Sensuality and sensitivity are the two key things for my enjoyment of a sexual partner. It's possible to find both of those in someone with no or very little sexual experience..

Well put. I distinguish between experience and ability - some of the best sex I've had was with a guy who didn't have a lot of experience, but he sure knew what he was doing!

[Nanashi]

There is very little that a woman has to learn in order to bring most men to orgasm. The reverse is not true.

Also, societal acceptance of a woman's sexuality plays a much larger role than you would think in her ability to reach orgasm. Biology can effect both sexes....which is a whole other arena.

I'm starting to become of the opinion that one of the, possibly many, reasons women might not be satisfied in bed is that not every woman will have the confidence and attention to follow her own pleasure required to achieve orgasm. Just throwing that out there. Any thoughts?

[Eric86]

That's definitely a very big factor, along with stress levels, how well you take care of your body, and the level of emotional connection you have with your partner.