View Full Version : Were simple tasks harder to do as a child?
jackson17
10-06-2010, 10:08 AM
Back when I was little, my mom and dad would yell at me for doing some of my chores wrong. I did what they told me to do, but I guess they meant for me to do something else. I was told by my parents that I had no common sense. It's not as bad as it used to be, but it happens from time to time.
Anyone else have this problem, or is it just me?
I actually have had an experience quite similar to yours. I would always misinterpret what they had been conveying to be, and so they would (to me at least) randomly get mad at me because of it. I still sometimes hear multiple possibilities in sentences from time to time, and have to consciously discern which was most likely the proper meaning of the sentence.
I believe it has something to do with our Se + Te being underdeveloped, while our Ni isn't exactly helping by giving us multiple variations of what has been said.
Vonunov
10-06-2010, 11:13 AM
One time I was told to "sweep the [carpeted] floor". I tried to do it with a broom until told it meant vacuuming.
Another time I got in trouble for taking too long to clear the fallen leaves out of the yard and sidewalk because I thought I had to get all of them. I was getting extremely frustrated because more kept falling from the tree.
That sort of thing?
jackson17
10-06-2010, 11:45 AM
One time I was told to "sweep the [carpeted] floor". I tried to do it with a broom until told it meant vacuuming.
Another time I got in trouble for taking too long to clear the fallen leaves out of the yard and sidewalk because I thought I had to get all of them. I was getting extremely frustrated because more kept falling from the tree.
That sort of thing?
Yes Vonunov, that sort of thing..
Here's a one that got me frustrated. My dad told me to put some chairs on both sides of the table. I had 4 chairs to pick from, and the table was circular. Instead of putting two chairs on both sides, I put all 4 chairs on each side of the table.
I seen 2 pairs of sides instead of 2 sides....and this is why I hate doing stuff for people.
I'm getting childhood flashbacks here...
I would often take what was asked for literally, and that got me into trouble. Also I often got scolded for "acting up", when I asked for the reasons behind the task.
It didn't help my case that I was zoned out most of the time and didn't respond when being adressed directly. Simple tasks always seemed more difficult for me because it is expected that they are done rapidly. It's only with more complex things that "authorities" will give you time to actually ponder all the options and form your own plan.
For me small tasks also needs to be thought through properly so I don't waste energy. Most people want things to happen right away. But the world doesn't work that way for me.
Sawa Hinuyo
10-06-2010, 01:20 PM
... yeah, I wish I was paid, to do the "simpler" tasks -- like dish-washing, or furniture-dusting --, when I was little.
The good old days! The innocence of childhood...
jackson17
10-07-2010, 07:41 AM
I used to epicly fail as a child when it came to chores. I always had to redo my chores because they wanted me to do something that wasn't mentioned.
Kuzya
10-07-2010, 07:46 AM
I would often not see thingsd when sent to look for them while they were right in front ot me. Got punished for it till I was about 8 cause my MUm thought I was doing it on purpose to irritate her
texzen
10-07-2010, 07:54 AM
I guess I was the opposite. I was an obsessively neat and organized child living in a household of slobs. That's not actually true, my family were not slobs, but they were messy in an ordinary way and I obsessed with trying to keep everything neat and clean.
I was a toothbrush on the baseboards kind of kid--only toothbrushes were too big and rough. I cleaned my baseboards with Q-tips! I paste waxed my wooden floors once a week. I took apart the light fixtures to clean the insides--everyday. I also removed the switch plates so that I could dust and clean inside--I had to learn not to get shocked! Some of those things I still do or fight the urge to do...
A cobweb or dust bunnie would send me into a cleaning frenzy.
I was so embarrassed about how we lived as slobs (again, it was my perception) that I never invited anyone over. Not once in my life did I ever have a friend over. I didn't want them to see...
adastra
10-07-2010, 07:15 PM
Until my late teens I was uncoordinated, clumsy, and had trouble with muscle memory and dexterity. For example, I had a very hard time learning how to ride a bike, and I didn't even learn how to tie my shoes until I was about nine or ten. I was so bad at little league softball that I was urged to quit by other kid's parents and even the coach. If I hadn't been so book-smart (I could read at two and was zipping through 1,000+ page books by five), I think people may actually have thought I was retarded.
psykhe
10-07-2010, 08:36 PM
hmm I think I am quite the opposite. I like things organized and in their perfect form even my clothes, must be color-coordinated and filed impeccably. I always want to be the best of what I want to do except for, er, project reports and the like at school. Back then, I really hated being called in front of the class and share what is on my mind either about the subject or the project.
jackson17
10-07-2010, 08:41 PM
hmm I think I am quite the opposite. I like things organized and in their perfect form even my clothes, must be color-coordinated and filed impeccably. I always want to be the best of what I want to do except for, er, project reports and the like at school. Back then, I really hated being called in front of the class and share what is on my mind either about the subject or the project.
I still have a hard time sharing my ideas in class. Classes should never have mandatory participation.....
Zsych
10-07-2010, 08:48 PM
Its a normal problem. A child may understand less, or guess the meaning of instructions and come up with something that isn't complete. They also usually have lower motor control.
Negative feedback is usually not a great thing to have though, especially in excess. Most parents don't really understand children or know how to teach effectively so they often teach lessons other than what they are trying to teach.
psykhe
10-07-2010, 08:53 PM
I still have a hard time sharing my ideas in class. Classes should never have mandatory participation.....
I think I still have the same awkwardness (if that's how you describe it) when talking to groups of people. But with my career pursuits, I need to do it. I even have difficulty conveying to others what I want them to understand. It's just like it's all in my head, find it hard to articulate.
I think they opted for mandatory participation so as to let students mingle with other students, encouraging the notion that no man is an island. tsk tsk
rwm4768
10-07-2010, 09:42 PM
Simple tasks were very hard for me as a child. They're still hard for me. Research paper. No problem. Calculus. No problem. Simple tasks such as painting, finding objects, etc. Problem.
I sometimes wonder if some of my issues with self-confidence (as in lacking it in most areas) stem from my inability to do such things. As a kid I was always yelled at for doing things wrong or for having a bad attitude about working. Is it any wonder that I didn't care for doing household tasks when they would suddenly interrupt my schedule with no warning and then force me to do things at which I was terrible?
I think I've improved in this regard a little bit now because I've identified it as a problem, so now, as much as my mom might hate it, I ask detailed questions about every task she gives me. It may not be the most efficient, but it is a lot better, for example, to tell me exactly what an object looks like in painstaking detail than to tell me to find the generic type of object. If I don't know exactly what it looks like, my eyes will not spot it.
jackson17
10-08-2010, 10:24 AM
I ask detailed questions about every task she gives me. It may not be the most efficient, but it is a lot better, for example, to tell me exactly what an object looks like in painstaking detail than to tell me to find the generic type of object. If I don't know exactly what it looks like, my eyes will not spot it.
The tasks would be easier if they went into detail, instead of telling a fraction of what is to be done. I'm no mind reader so just tell me exactly what to do, and I'll do it.
Nonsuch
10-08-2010, 10:26 AM
From the time I was 10-18, it would happen that I would interpret instructions differently, or arrive at a completely different conclusion from the 'right' one when given a problem. My interpretation/conclusion was seen as wrong, since I was the only who thought of it, and I was a kid. Like you, another problem I had was that the instruction-givers did'nt give good instructions but blamed me for the results. For awhile I wondered what was wrong with me . . .
I realize today that my ideas back then were generally not wrong, just different and more often than not, more logical than theirs. You might be having the same problem as I did. If your solutions are just as logical a response as the normal one is, then you are not stupid, you are just thinking on a different wavelength than everyone else.
Try to adjust and learn how normal people think without giving up your own unique approach to problem-solving. That way, eventually when you get incomplete or lousy instructions you will be able to figure out the missing or wrong bits and get the problem solved anyway.
Don't give up, you're not the only who has gone through this.
Sawa Hinuyo
10-08-2010, 10:45 AM
From the time I was 10-18, it would happen that I would interpret instructions differently, or arrive at a completely different conclusion from the 'right' one when given a problem. My interpretation/conclusion was seen as wrong, since I was the only who thought of it, and I was a kid. Like you, another problem I had was that the instruction-givers did'nt give good instructions but blamed me for the results. For awhile I wondered what was wrong with me . . .
I realize today that my ideas back then were generally not wrong, just different and more often than not, more logical than theirs. You might be having the same problem as I did. If your solutions are just as logical a response as the normal one is, then you are not stupid, you are just thinking on a different wavelength than everyone else.
Try to adjust and learn how normal people think without giving up your own unique approach to problem-solving. That way, eventually when you get incomplete or lousy instructions you will be able to figure out the missing or wrong bits and get the problem solved anyway.
Don't give up, you're not the only who has gone through this.
Erm... did you became wealthy?
gecko
10-08-2010, 12:39 PM
haha this brings back memories. One of the more embarrassing ones being when I was in little league(age 10 maybe?). I think I threw a ball to a base too late and the opponent was safe. So my teammate(another outfielder) was like throw the ball to me next time(there was no reason to do so). Completely baffled and curious, I decided to do as he asked, and sure enough I threw the ball to him next time the ball came to me, and predictably, it was completely retarded. I cannot explain this other than I wasn't thinking clearly beyond some perverse curiosity and I tend to disconnect when dealing with formerly inexplicable things like little league as a contest between and among adults, and parents cheering for kids, and competition to the point of animosity, and posing or strutting(or boasting) for approval.
Rachel45
10-08-2010, 03:41 PM
They're hard for me now!!! lololol....The more complicated a task is the more responsive I become...give me something mundane that the whole friggin world seems to know how to do correctly, and I will blunder. I will complicate a simple task...people will scratch their heads and proclaim "I don't get it...anyone can do this". Okay, fair enough, I am the quinntesential absent-minded professor....My INTJness is probably the culprit as the mundane chores of life are likely to be cast aside for cerebral pursuits...I guess that is why the laundry never seems to get done....
psykhe
10-08-2010, 07:33 PM
Erm... did you became wealthy?
ahmm..does that mean you equate solving problems to becoming wealthy?:disappointed:
someuser
10-08-2010, 07:48 PM
to me, it's like being an alien on earth. tell an alien to do something "simple", and watch what they do. imagine this is a movie or something.
True Rune
10-08-2010, 08:10 PM
Of course. I'd get scatter-brained and bitched out for not sweeping the floor right. i'd put a lot of stuff off too.
someuser
10-08-2010, 10:44 PM
I hate it when someone tells you to do something, then you do it, then they yell at you and say why are you even doing this?
Geise
10-09-2010, 05:16 AM
Things like this still happen to me. Though I've noticed that it's often not just my shortcomings that cause it; it is both mine an other's shortcomings together. So instead of blaming myself entirely as if I'm the only one who needs to adapt, I've developed an "I'll try if you try" mentality about it. I'f the other person is easily angered and calls me stupid, I'll "act" stupid until their patience has run out and they are willing to compromise. I'm not the center of the universe and neither are they.
kattyk2
10-10-2010, 08:40 AM
As a child I think I had a double life. One where I would go around being the toast of the town. I could do anything better than any of the other kids. Whether it was cleaning, babysitting, helping pack for a move, researching vacation spots, etc. I was the one the relatives called on when they needed help with any project. The adults in my life actually let me be in charge of a lot of things because I was good at it and I enjoyed having the control and everyone listening to the way I wanted things done.
When I wasn't around adults I was usually off experimenting and being mischievous. As I child I did not like washing, conditioning and rinsing my hair, so I would combine water, shampoo and conditioner into one container to save time. I also didn't like having to get dressed for school, so I would wear my school clothes under my pajamas. When asked to take the dog for a walk I would tie him to my bike to save time. I usually knew this wasn't the way things were supposed to be done, so I kept these activities fairly secret. When discovered, these things frustrated the adults in my life to no end.
thecolouramanda
10-10-2010, 08:44 AM
This happens to me all the time. I guess I just have a very different perspective, and often interpret instructions 'wrongly'. A better way of saying it would be I'm too creative for the life I live that I constantly find alternative, better solutions to finishing tasks. Sigh, the ramblings of a lost INTJ.
Supaslim
10-10-2010, 11:39 AM
Happens to me all the time. I finally stopped helping around the house because of it- my mom would tell me to sweep the floor or dust the shelves, and I would do it, but do it "wrong." I didn't see the point in doing work and being scolded for it, so I decided to skip the work part and go straight to the scolding (this time for not doing the work) in order to save myself time and energy.
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