Victims of crime?

[notoppings]

I'm kind of curious to know if anyone here has ever been a victim of a crime. If so what kind? did you get a resolution? What was the act?

Myself I have been burgled twice and robbed twice being shot during one of the robberies. No people were ever arrested the police didn't seem to be to interested even with the shooting.

So how about you?

[Motor Jax]

ummm, can't say that i have

[Santana28]

had all my household items in storage ransacked by some random hispanic gang who had members working on the construction crew that had access to my condo's storage area.... nothing of interest taken except my new bicycle, my old tv, and all of my musical instruments (which i was moderately upset about). i lived in chicago at the time, so even attempting to get police assistance would have been futile.

i sucked it up, got over that "i feel violated" feeling, and moved on.

now i work security and chase down little punk gang-banger wannabes ;)

[Serpent7]

My wife had all of her crap stolen out of the back of her pickup truck after she left it parked on the street over night. (Downtown LA)
She had just packed the entire contents of her entire apartment, and was spending the night at her sisters place before leaving town.

[notoppings]

Total bad luck.

[Motor Jax]

yeah, that had to have sucked

[PRBori]

Hmmm... my life has been full of mis-fortunes let's see

- sexually molested all year thru at 5 while going to "indergarden by a cousin which until today I remember clearly
- sexually molested at 10 by an 18 year old cousin which I also remember clearly
-
literally had a gun pointed to my brain on a robbery and point it at my 1 1/2 year old son
- physically beat up while I was 3 months pregnant by my now ex husband not to mention emotional and mental abuse for which he is paying dearly now

and other than those I have scape many mis-fortunes as a young gal. I miss a robbery and beat up from a robbery at a store & used to work by 5 min. and I miss seeing someone killed in front of a store I used to manage since I had quit two weeks prior and close down soon after

Other than that that's my story. As to how I cope, well lets say I just accepted as something that hatd to happen and move on. For the first 2 my option was run away from home at 16 which I did and end it here in the US all alone without family but it was the best choice ever..

[Cuivienen]

Hmmm... my life has been full of mis-fortunes let's see

- sexually molested all year thru at 5 while going to "indergarden by a cousin which until today I remember clearly
- sexually molested at 10 by an 18 year old cousin which I also remember clearly
-
literally had a gun pointed to my brain on a robbery and point it at my 1 1/2 year old son
- physically beat up while I was 3 months pregnant by my now ex husband not to mention emotional and mental abuse for which he is paying dearly now

and other than those I have scape many mis-fortunes as a young gal. I miss a robbery and beat up from a robbery at a store & used to work by 5 min. and I miss seeing someone killed in front of a store I used to manage since I had quit two weeks prior and close down soon after

Other than that that's my story. As to how I cope, well lets say I just accepted as something that hatd to happen and move on. For the first 2 my option was run away from home at 16 which I did and end it here in the US all alone without family but it was the best choice ever..

Wow, that sounds awful :(

And, I don`t quite know how to say this, but I`m glad you`re making your husband pay.

[Motor Jax]

you kow, i kinda think everything happens for a reason

but some of these, i wonder how in the world do people manage to get by after some of these things

other than the emotional, mental, and physical abuse from my step-dad, i never really encountered any of these

[PRBori]

you kow, i kinda think everything happens for a reason

but some of these, i wonder how in the world do people manage to get by after some of these things

other than the emotional, mental, and physical abuse from my step-dad, i never really encountered any of these

For me is a process of trying to undeerstand the reasons behind someone that performs such harm. For example a very close member of my family was sexually raped by the father of the first cousin who raped me and it actually was his own sister who he raped... that sister cope with it by becoming extremely religious so religious she somehow forgot about trying to understand her own kids... which became a chain but I refused to follow the chain and decided to break it instead...

It's hard to explain it but somehow I was gifted with understanding, patience, and acceptance of whatever happen in life. Kind of weird for not everyone reacts the same. I tend to turn negative into positive, understand the reasons behind the act, and block it from affecting my day to day life or those around me.

[Motor Jax]

when the crime happens in the family, the best thing to do is break the cycle

i mean, to see it though, you have to see what is going on from the outside view

otherwise, if it is taken as a normal action, one becomes blind and thinks it is ok





Motor Jax added to this post, 1 minutes and 23 seconds later...

you know, it has me thinking about an occurrence that has plagued me for years

about innocence and such

in fact, i think it is time for me to write my thesis

[PRBori]

when the crime happens in the family, the best thing to do is break the cycle

i mean, to see it though, you have to see what is going on from the outside view

otherwise, if it is taken as a normal action, one becomes blind and thinks it is ok

I personally do not accept such as a normal action but I try to understand how it began. Does that mean that I'm excusing them for the act? NO, for I believe each person is responsible for their own actions and therefore has the ability to make responsible decisions on what to do with their lifes.

The question for me will be Would such action affect my personnal life? and my answer will be NO, if I let it affect me then I'm letting someone else control my life and I refuse to be control by others...but I do like to have control of those who do something not only to me but others who are important in my life so as to make sure the chain doesn't continue.

That,s basically how I cope with the situation and those that were part of it to some extend...

What can I say a silent planner can be dangerous sometimes...not in a physical or illegal way for there are plenty of legal ways to make someone pay... I compare the action to flipping the coin in order to stop the chain


Motor Jax added to this post, 1 minutes and 23 seconds later...

you know, it has me thinking about an occurrence that has plagued me for years

about innocence and such

in fact, i think it is time for me to write my thesis

[Motor Jax]

i agree, each individual is responsible for their own action

but in a learned response, one is taught, and if one is shown that it must that way at home, then they learn that must be the acceptable behavior

the only way is to break the cycle

growing up with my step-dad in my influential years (my teen years), i seen my mom ran over, arm pulled out of socket, every finger broken, beaten, dragged kicking and screaming by her hair across the back yard, punched. and i, myself, punched, slapped, spit on, kicked, and life threatened along with called all types of racial slurs...

but i ended up breaking that cycle also. and i've never raised my hands in anger


but step-dad (he's no longer in the picture since '96) grew up thinking that was the way to get the point across, and only after drinking. his parents were the same way when he was growing up. but after he was arrested and we left, and after his mother died, him and his father did what they wanted to do: drink and fight each other every night

and as far as i know, they still do to this day

[notoppings]

Hmmm... my life has been full of mis-fortunes let's see

- sexually molested all year thru at 5 while going to "indergarden by a cousin which until today I remember clearly
- sexually molested at 10 by an 18 year old cousin which I also remember clearly
-
literally had a gun pointed to my brain on a robbery and point it at my 1 1/2 year old son
- physically beat up while I was 3 months pregnant by my now ex husband not to mention emotional and mental abuse for which he is paying dearly now

and other than those I have scape many mis-fortunes as a young gal. I miss a robbery and beat up from a robbery at a store & used to work by 5 min. and I miss seeing someone killed in front of a store I used to manage since I had quit two weeks prior and close down soon after

Other than that that's my story. As to how I cope, well lets say I just accepted as something that hatd to happen and move on. For the first 2 my option was run away from home at 16 which I did and end it here in the US all alone without family but it was the best choice ever..

I appreciate you're ability to survive. For those of us who have survived violent crime I feel it was a choice to continue to be a victim and allow these events to rule our life or to carry on and gain some strength from it. It may well be that at some time in the future we may again be victims, but I will not allow uncontrollable events to make me a victim in my mind. I will survive always.

[PRBori]

I appreciate you're ability to survive. For those of us who have survived violent crime I feel it was a choice to continue to be a victim and allow these events to rule our life or to carry on and gain some strength from it. It may well be that at some time in the future we may again be victims, but I will not allow uncontrollable events to make me a victim in my mind. I will survive always.

Sorry, but I'll have to disagree.. is not always a choice toi stay in such situation maybe the last one putting up with my ex was but its because it requiredd careful planification to get out.. but I certainly didn't choose to be sexually molested at 5 and 10...

I choose to not let anything control my life and sometimes making sure that such doesn't happen means putting up with the game until the plan to get out is clear... That's what I call survivals

[notoppings]

Sorry, but I'll have to disagree.. is not always a choice toi stay in such situation maybe the last one putting up with my ex was but its because it requiredd careful planification to get out.. but I certainly didn't choose to be sexually molested at 5 and 10...

I choose to not let anything control my life and sometimes making sure that such doesn't happen means putting up with the game until the plan to get out is clear... That's what I call survivals

I should have made my self clearer what I meant was after you left you chose not to let it be an overwhelming influence on your life today. It will never go away but you are still a strong functioning person. You chose to not be a continuing victim of the past.