INTJ Sexuality

[Evalis]

This topic here is for all INTJs out there to express their feelings on sexuality and what it is that makes them arroused. Divulge your secrets! Fetishes welcomed ^^

For myself - to be fair - I am going to confirm that my mind does indeed often wander to the subject of sexual interaction and/or scenarios related to it.. but only very rarely am I ever 'aroused'. In fact.. I enjoy thinking about it so much more than the actual act, that unless I am drunk or tired enough to prevent thinking, I can't allow my physical senses to take over, which unfortunately also typically means I'm not currently capable enough to be able to do anything about it anyway.

I do however, for some crazy reason get all warm and fuzzy (enamored perhaps?) when I read something 'dirty' or watch someone write... *chuckle* I should hire a stripper and tell her to 'write' for me. Should prove rather amusing.

Post your stuffs prease! For the good of mankind!

[Tarrick]

Lessons about INTJs
Divulge your secrets! Fetishes welcomed ^^
INTJs are private.

get all warm and fuzzy
Warm and fuzzies are best left to critters with fur coats

For the good of mankind!
Good of mankind? I think not.


As for the topic matter, well....in my opinion, it's something to be done as a expression of love with someone that you care enough about that you cannot express it in words. That and you are willing to take such a chance on them, you'd marry them.

Let's face it, there are two sides to sex: Making babies, and expressing emotion/giving pleasure to someone. So, in my opinion, it's not something to be flippantly or as a means of self-gratification. I would never have sex for myself, because that's about as shallow as you can get. In my opinion.

And, despite the fact that I am a Christian, my beliefs here are my own, and have been analyzed, deliberated, and signed off by Me, Myself and I.


As for specifics on it well....I dunno. Haven't found anyone I like enough. You see anyone that I might like, send them my way, okay?

[Jezebel]

Lessons about INTJs
Divulge your secrets! Fetishes welcomed ^^
INTJs are private.
at least on the topic of secret sexual fetishes. I'm no prude, but I won't talk about it publicly. [smiley=ninja.gif]

I don't have anything morally against promiscuity, but I could never do it myself. I don't even like being touched by most people. I wouldn't necessarily say love is required but it's rare that I'm comfortable or attracted to guys in that way. If I'm not attracted to a man's personality, I also have no sexual attraction toward him. I've been told that's a gender thing, though.

[Tarrick]

I think it's a N, or a least a NT, thing. As for love being required, I just can't see myself opening up that much for anything less. It's as much a emotional/privacy thing as a calculated thing. And no, I'm not paranoid. Paranoia is a irrational fear of being watched. I am being watched. [smiley=disguise.gif]

Edited for Spelling

[Jezebel]

As for love being required, I just can't see myself opening up that much for anything less. It's as much a emotional/privacy thing as a calculated thing.

I'm all talk though. In actual experience, I've never had sex with someone I didn't love.

(edited to match Tarrick's edit)

[wolf]

INTJs seem to fall on two sides of the fence - very private and reserved about it, or very promiscuous and private about it.

There really is no middle-ground like most people fall in.

[kidchameleon]

if anything, i would lean the INTJ mentality toward an ability to totally divorce sexual practice and urges from love and emotions, and compare them more to eating or sleeping.


Separately, I somewhat agree with the profile's points about the INTJ weaknesses in interpersonal relationships (at least for myself). But in keeping with the personality, i prefer to view what is regarded by others as weakness as simply an illogical majority imposing their unnecessary emotional framework on a perfectly valid perspective. The difficulty being that most people can't bother to filter their wants and desires for logical validity, and simply expect expect expect all over your face for no substantive reason, becoming frustrated at a stone-faced, value-neutral response.

Personally, since a number of long term relationships, to a great extent I have viewed sexual and some romantic relationships as I described above; another part of the human machine that desires attention, and that i am happy to oblige. I would be further surprised if i didn't find INTJ's who think (notice, not feel) similarly, on or beyond this forum. I happily encourage productive comments.


rock. -kid

[Selly]

Lessons about INTJs
Divulge your secrets! Fetishes welcomed ^^
INTJs are private.
at least on the topic of secret sexual fetishes. I'm no prude, but I won't talk about it publicly. [smiley=ninja.gif]

I don't have anything morally against promiscuity, but I could never do it myself. I don't even like being touched by most people. I wouldn't necessarily say love is required but it's rare that I'm comfortable or attracted to guys in that way. If I'm not attracted to a man's personality, I also have no sexual attraction toward him. I've been told that's a gender thing, though.

There's my general opinion on it.

[Evalis]

if anything, i would lean the INTJ mentality toward an ability to totally divorce sexual practice and urges from love and emotions, and compare them more to eating or sleeping.

This has certainly always been my 'view' on the topic; Indeed I would even go so far as to say that I would find a purely emotional attraction to be insulting. Ei: Gee, you sure are pretty disgusting looking, but I guess I can make this exception because you are so nice.." *gag*

In practice however, unless my mind 'deactivates' due to fatigue, stress, or drunkeness, I don't always find that it is so easy to seperate the two.

[Jezebel]

I have no moral views of right and wrong when it comes to viewing sex as nothing more than a physical urge and something to do for fun. I don't really care what other people do when it comes to this.

However, even aside from being in love I still see monogamy as a completely rational choice. If you like to have sex on a regular basis, I think being in a relationship is the best way to go. At least if you're like me and hate all the rituals that go with finding someone to have sex with: meeting new people, flirting, small talk, 'first dates', bars, parties, putting up with someone you may not like for reasons other than sex, getting hit on by undesirable people, and the awkwardness of making the first move. At least some of that will be required when trying to find new partners (and even then, it's no guarantee that they'll want to have sex with you).

I realize some people don't mind going through the hassle of finding new partners all the time or don't care about having sex regularly available. That's fine too, but I couldn't ever see myself being like that.

[radioactivez0r]

That almost sounded like you'd be willing to stay in a relationship for the sex, because it's too much hassle to start over.

[Jezebel]

That almost sounded like you'd be willing to stay in a relationship for the sex, because it's too much hassle to start over.

No, that post wasn't meant to be my comprehensive view of all the benefits of sticking with a monogamous relationship. There are a lot of other benefits (which wouldn't belong in this thread), but I'll admit to sex being one of them.

[Tarrick]

if anything, i would lean the INTJ mentality toward an ability to totally divorce sexual practice and urges from love and emotions, and compare them more to eating or sleeping.

Yes, I can understand how it would seem that an INTJ would divorce Sex from Love. I can do it too, if I want to. After all, it's just an nature act that fertilizes females so they can have babies. Also, even take it further and view it as an act that is purely pleasurable for me (First Person POV) to engage in. Any nothing more.

However, my iNtuition in INTJ allows me (almost forces me) to not just see it like that, but to see it as it COULD be. That it could be a very emotional act/moment between me and my partner. That it could be a time where we commune together and share something between us. That it could...well a lot of things.
Then I start to wonder about who I would do this with. And, honestly, I get a little scared of who it would be, and how emotionally unguarded I would be with them. It's not that I'm a isolated person, but to purposefully drop all my barriers is a little scary. So it would have to be someone very special.


if anything, i would lean the INTJ mentality toward an ability to totally divorce sexual practice and urges from love and emotions, and compare them more to eating or sleeping.
This has certainly always been my 'view' on the topic; Indeed I would even go so far as to say that I would find a purely emotional attraction to be insulting. Ei: Gee, you sure are pretty disgusting looking, but I guess I can make this exception because you are so nice.." *gag*


I wholly agree that a purely emotional attraction is a bad idea. I mean, we may be sentient, rational (at least some of us), beings, but we are also physical beings too. If you aren't attracted by anything about someone except for their mind, then you are either deluding yourself and attempting to transcend into a purely thought/emotion based entity or are just kidding yourself. Or you are attracted to them and just don't consciously realize it.

But the same goes for purely physically based attraction. The object of your affection may be pretty, but if you find nothing else about them appealing, then you're being a idiot for pursuing them. It doesn't matter how attractive their mind is, or their body, or even their checking account. We are physical and emotion beings and we need to find a balance of attraction in our relationships. In my opinion.

[Rei]

Lessons about INTJs
INTJs are private.

...

As for the topic matter, well....in my opinion, it's something to be done as a expression of love with someone that you care enough about that you cannot express it in words. That and you are willing to take such a chance on them, you'd marry them.

Let's face it, there are two sides to sex: Making babies, and expressing emotion/giving pleasure to someone. So, in my opinion, it's not something to be flippantly or as a means of self-gratification. I would never have sex for myself, because that's about as shallow as you can get. In my opinion.

...

Haven't found anyone I like enough. You see anyone that I might like, send them my way, okay?

First of all... thank you for saying "INTJ's are private" before I had to... but I'm saying it anyway...
We really are... (well I am...)

After that, I must say I simply agree with pretty much everything else in what is quoted... so no sense in repeating a post of the same thing....

[Tarrick]

First of all... thank you for saying "INTJ's are private" before I had to... but I'm saying it anyway...
We really are... (well I am...)

After that, I must say I simply agree with pretty much everything else in what is quoted... so no sense in repeating a post of the same thing....

Someone agreed with me?! HA! I told them I wasn't a quack!

[Nym]

sex is a basic human function, that serves many purposes, not only to procreate, but to boost the immune system, relax a person, balence out chemacles in the brain that need tweaking. Orgasms have been proven to help people live longer healthier lives. Its fun, and shouldn't be somthing that people hold back on.

Practice makes perfect, remeber a minimum of 3 orgasms a week can help you live a longer healthier, happier life. :P

[Rei]

sex is a basic human function, that serves many purposes, not only to procreate, but to boost the immune system, relax a person, balence out chemacles in the brain that need tweaking. Orgasms have been proven to help people live longer healthier lives. Its fun, and shouldn't be somthing that people hold back on.

Practice makes perfect, remeber a minimum of 3 orgasms a week can help you live a longer healthier, happier life. *:P

You sound like my INFP friend...

[Tarrick]

sex is a basic human function, that serves many purposes, not only to procreate, but to boost the immune system, relax a person, balence out chemacles in the brain that need tweaking. Orgasms have been proven to help people live longer healthier lives. Its fun, and shouldn't be somthing that people hold back on.

Practice makes perfect, remeber a minimum of 3 orgasms a week can help you live a longer healthier, happier life. :P

This is all true.

In the end, I blame society. 200 years ago, there was something wrong with you if you were married by the age of 16. Now? It's only been in the last century where people are "expected" to wait until they are older to get married.

[wolf]

Don't remind me. I'm 26 and my longest time dating was 2 months (out of three short periods). Embarrassing to admit, but I'm still a virgin. :-/

[Tarrick]

Embarrassing to admit, but I'm still a virgin. :-/

I don't see anything embarrassing about it. I mean, after all, do you have a civic duty to, well, do someone even if you don't like them enough? Or are you required to find someone you like enough to be with by a certain age?

I don't think so.

[wolf]

Embarrassing to admit, but I'm still a virgin. :-/

I don't see anything embarrassing about it. I mean, after all, do you have a civic duty to, well, do someone even if you don't like them enough? Or are you required to find someone you like enough to be with by a certain age?

I don't think so.

Well, of those I dated, all but the last would've been more like community service, so I guess that's a good way to look at it.

Loneliness engulfs me, in spite of my extreme introversion.

[Tarrick]

Well, of those I dated, all but the last would've been more like community service, so I guess that's a good way to look at it.

Loneliness engulfs me, in spite of my extreme introversion.
Indeed. The one time I dated...well yeah. She stopped really talking about anything else after 3 weeks. And she went off the deep end too.

As for loneliness, I can understand that. Part of human nature desires companionship on a number of levels, that being one of them. Even though we're INTJs, we're still mostly human (except for our robot friends here, of course.)

[wolf]

Well, of those I dated, all but the last would've been more like community service, so I guess that's a good way to look at it.

Loneliness engulfs me, in spite of my extreme introversion.
Indeed. The one time I dated...well yeah. She stopped really talking about anything else after 3 weeks. And she went off the deep end too.
The first two were like that for me, too. After a month or two of not getting it, they found the first willing guy they could, did it, then made a big deal about it when they dumped me. The third only lasted two days in person. I met her over the internet, and I really, really, really liked her in both cases, while she was apparently somewhat interested in someone else, but strung me along for some reason. I kinda knew about the other guy before we met, too (common online circles), but I tried to ignore it. Oh well. :( The problem is that I allowed myself to become emotionally invested in them, which made it that much worse. I hate emotions.

As for loneliness, I can understand that. Part of human nature desires companionship on a number of levels, that being one of them. Even though we're INTJs, we're still mostly human (except for our robot friends here, of course.)
I really wish I could rid myself of feelings entirely, along with that pesky longing for human companions.

[Guido]

Robots need love too! :'(

[Tarrick]

Robots need love too! :'(

Sure Guido. After all, you are the resident robot. Or so you claim!

[Rei]

I'm still a virgin. :-/
That's what I live by... buuuut I guess that's just me.

Robots need love too! *:'(
funny how I always felt that was true...

i always felt sorry for hte robot *;D

I have a love-hate relationship with human companionship... i hate how it's necessary for me to stay sane... but at the same time, I'll probably try my best to avoid being "social"

the first and *cough*only*cough*time I 'dated' anyone... it lasted pretty much the few days following.
I remember freaking out a week later thinking "oo em geeee this is so pointless" *And then I ended up pretty much avoiding my "boyfriend" *(awkwardness ensured after I moved to cut him loose, which sucked because we were great friends)
He was an ENFJ too, great guy; it would have been nice. *We're still close, talk occasionally now, but an unspoken close mostly, he has a girlfriend and I get paranoid about that. :-X

Then I had this abnormally close relationship with someone (ENTJ) he introduced me to - which to say the least - was trouble

I'll stop the story of my men seeking adventure here... with me saying th ENFJ/ENTJ compatibility prediction is pretty good.

Edit:
shouldn't this be in the relationship topic?

[Jezebel]

Edit:
shouldn't this be in the relationship topic?
Technically, most of the topics in this section could fit into the other categories based on their subject matter. This section is for any topics about INTJ specific viewpoints and traits. I made it because obviously there are going to be a lot of these threads on this forum, and this was to put them together. However, a lot of the topics are hitting a grey area where I could justify them being in either forum. Rather than constantly doing topic moves, I'm planning on just leaving these alone for now and restructuring the boards a bit to be clearer.

[Rei]

Edit:
shouldn't this be in the relationship topic?
Technically, most of the topics in this section could fit into the other categories based on their subject matter. This section is for any topics about INTJ specific viewpoints and traits. I made it because obviously there are going to be a lot of these threads on this forum, and this was to put them together. However, a lot of the topics are hitting a grey area where I could justify them being in either forum. Rather than constantly doing topic moves, I'm planning on just leaving these alone for now and restructuring the boards a bit to be clearer.

hum yeah...
I didn't expect an actual explaination there. But that's cool... there are so many off topics already that I'm forgetting which topic I said things in =/

[wedekit]

I'm very, very private but I guess I could let a tidbit out. I'm more about intellectual intercourse than sexual intercourse, but within the intellectual is where I find attraction. When I think about my ideal guy, I don't really think about the sex. I think of someone who wants to join me in my journey for knowledge. My partner in crime. My private encourager. My friendly reminder that there is no such thing as perfection. If I could find someone like that, I would spend every day of my life making sure they stay.

There you go. I have my own secret daydream-romance that is now officially leaked into the net. People I know would be so surprised to find out that ::gasp!:: I hope for love just as much as they do.

[The Rose]

Don't remind me. *I'm 26 and my longest time dating was 2 months (out of three short periods). *Embarrassing to admit, but I'm still a virgin. *:-/Virginity is not a four-letter word. :)

[The Rose]

I'm very, very private but I guess I could let a tidbit out. I'm more about intellectual intercourse than sexual intercourse, but within the intellectual is where I find attraction. When I think about my ideal guy, I don't really think about the sex. I think of someone who wants to join me in my journey for knowledge. My partner in crime. My private encourager. My friendly reminder that there is no such thing as perfection. If I could find someone like that, I would spend every day of my life making sure they stay.

There you go. I have my own secret daydream-romance that is now officially leaked into the net. People I know would be so surprised to find out that ::gasp!:: I hope for love just as much as they do.Hang in there.
Wait for the one you want.
It's worth it!

[rwyatt365]

I'm very, very private but I guess I could let a tidbit out. I'm more about intellectual intercourse than sexual intercourse, but within the intellectual is where I find attraction. When I think about my ideal guy, I don't really think about the sex. I think of someone who wants to join me in my journey for knowledge. My partner in crime. My private encourager. My friendly reminder that there is no such thing as perfection. If I could find someone like that, I would spend every day of my life making sure they stay.

Wedekit, I find your concept to be very much like my own (except the whole guy/girl thing – I'm straight). I find myself wanting a deep intellectual exchange more so than an exchange of body fluids. It would be so nice to have an intelligent conversation, to be able to express my odd ideas without criticism or condemnation, to be UNDERSTOOD!

With the right person I would say that I am very sexual. I like having sex, and as Nym says it does all the right things for the body and should be "practiced regularly" ;) However, with the wrong person I can be as cold as ice. I've been known to go for months without sex, and without sexual thoughts – just because someone has turned me off completely. I guess you could say I'm an on/off kinda guy; when I'm on, I'm on and when I'm off…better get a vibrator!

As far as fetishes are concerned - I guess I don't really have any. There are some physical things that I prefer in a woman. If you lined up all of my girlfriends from past years you'd probably see a pattern developing, but I have been known to step out of type.

If you're interested I can elaborate.

[Tarrick]

Don't remind me. I'm 26 and my longest time dating was 2 months (out of three short periods). Embarrassing to admit, but I'm still a virgin. :-/Virginity is not a four-letter word. :)


You're right! It's got nine!

Again, in all seriousness, I believe it's something too special to "waste" on just anyone.

[Rei]

Don't remind me. I'm 26 and my longest time dating was 2 months (out of three short periods). Embarrassing to admit, but I'm still a virgin. :-/Virginity is not a four-letter word. :)


You're right! It's got nine!

Again, in all seriousness, I believe it's something too special to "waste" on just anyone.
And as long as you keep repeating it, I'll keep agreeing with you.

I don't see why being a virgin is embarrassing. Though it's great that so many people seem to think this way because that would make me a rarity ;D.

[wolf]

Don't remind me. I'm 26 and my longest time dating was 2 months (out of three short periods). Embarrassing to admit, but I'm still a virgin. :-/Virginity is not a four-letter word. :)


You're right! It's got nine!

Again, in all seriousness, I believe it's something too special to "waste" on just anyone.
And as long as you keep repeating it, I'll keep agreeing with you.

I don't see why being a virgin is embarrassing. Though it's great that so many people seem to think this way because that would make me a rarity ;D.
It's not embarrassing, except in the social and intuitive sense - I've never met anyone that was suitable, and I've been alone the vast majority of the time. I can't help it, I want some human contact, even if I seem like a robot.

You don't think I still would be if absolutely anyone was suitable, do you?

It's a sign of both success (on my part) and impressive amounts of failure (on the world's part).

[Rei]

It's a sign of both success (on my part) and impressive amounts of failure (on the world's part).

Wow... my life in a sentence...
Every single INTJ's life in a sentence...

EDIT: sp*

[wolf]

It's a sign of both success (on my part) and impressive amounts of failure (on the world's part).

Wow... my life in a sentance...
Every single INTJ's life in a sentance...
"Sentence"

[Rei]

It's a sign of both success (on my part) and impressive amounts of failure (on the world's part).

Wow... my life in a sentance...
Every single INTJ's life in a sentance...
"Sentence"

Thank you

[Max T]

It's a sign of both success (on my part) and impressive amounts of failure (on the world's part).

Wow... my life in a sentance...
Every single INTJ's life in a sentance...
"Sentence"

Thank you

LOL was enjoying reading this long thread and as two taut bodies enjoy intellectual intercourse, it reaches its climax with an orgasmic utterance "every single INTJ's life in a sentence"...
only for the spelling of sentence to be picked up on and a polite 'thank-you' ... no wonder we're only 1% of the population!!

[Tarrick]

LOL was enjoying reading this long thread and as two taut bodies enjoy intellectual intercourse, it reaches its climax with an orgasmic utterance "every single INTJ's life in a sentence"...
only for the spelling of sentence to be picked up on and a polite 'thank-you' ... no wonder we're only 1% of the population!!

....Oh wow. :o

[Max T]

LOL was enjoying reading this long thread and as two taut bodies enjoy intellectual intercourse, it reaches its climax with an orgasmic utterance "every single INTJ's life in a sentence"...
only for the spelling of sentence to be picked up on and a polite 'thank-you' ... no wonder we're only 1% of the population!!

....Oh wow. *:o



Ok so bite me, but it is comically paradoxical. ;D
And being able to laugh at our own circumstance can only be healthy, as this bit of self-deprecation strips away any horrible arrogance others may see in us.
Otherwise "he that falls in love with himself will have no rivals"- Ben Franklin.

I agree with Wedekit about a greater need for mental fit as opposed to physical- well described. Sex is a little overrated but a soulmate is invaluable.

[Romeo]

I think that when an INTJ finds their mindmate, magical things happen. I am in a relationship with an another INTJ mindmate and I never in my life (and I'm pushing 60) thought that another human being could love to the depths that I am capable of loving. INTJs are a rare breed, however, they are the most idealistic of all the rationals (see below) and very capable of loving deeply. The problem is finding that right person. I fully believe that most people in life never have the opportunity to connect profoundly with another human being. That's where Myers-Briggs has helped me. After reading about 10 MBT1 books (...and I can give you a list of the best of the best to read), I'm able to quick-size people based on how they think after spending about an hour with them. I'm selective now with the people that I let into my life.

INTP - the most Rational of the Rationals
INTJ - the most Idealistic of the Rationals
ENTJ - the most Traditional (Guardian) of the Rationals
ENTP - the most Artisan of the Rationals

Incidentially, I was married to an INTP for over 35 years.

[Rei]

That's where Myers-Briggs has helped me. *After reading about 10 MBT1 books (...and I can give you a list of the best of the best to read), I'm able to quick-size people based on how they think after spending about an hour with them. *I'm selective now with the people that I let into my life. *


I've always been selective with the people I let into my life. *However, there are always the people you have to cope with to get what you want.

I'd use Myers-Briggs to size people up more precisely, but it would restrict too many possibilities if I were to prevent any specific types to enter my life. *For one, each of the types have something they are good at. *It is a better idea to befriend all types, and being able to find an ally in every situation. *Additionally, in that one hour time frame there are possible mistakes in judgement. *The person may not have been comfortable enough to act as they regularly do and could easily pass off as the 'wrong' type *(for example, I could easily pass off as an INFJ, INTP, ENFJ or an ENFP).


Though perhaps this is just the view point of one who still needs the approval of others before she may be successful in her career. *I guess if you're already the boss you would have all the right to be picky.

[Romeo]

Rei, you're right. I should have communicated that post more clearly. I have all MBT1 types in my life and enjoy the company they provide. I know their limitations and I know they know mine as there is no perfect person out there. I have a ESFP friend who can drive me up the wall, however, she's the sweetest, most caring person around. I have a ESFJ friend who has taught me so much about the sesnsory things that are important when entertaining. So yes, I agree with you about how each person brings something to the table.

.......but I must say that my mindmate INTJ friend is a gift from the heavens.

[Max T]

I (and others surely) would be interested to read your recommended list of MBTI books Romeo. Perhaps insert under the "Books" thread?

For careers, "Do what you are" is good. Perhaps not deep into INTJ but I'm just a beginner.

[Tarrick]

.......but I must say that my mindmate INTJ friend is a gift from the heavens.

I'm a bit envious, Romeo. I certainly pray that my future mate is as compatible as you say yours is.

And yes, any books that you could recommend would be welcome.

[Romeo]

The most important thing of all is not to settle. *Please never, ever settle. *It is better to be alone than to settle with a partner that won't love you to the same degree that you're capable of loving. *Life is short and then, you die.

My favorite MBT1 books are as follows:

"The Art of Speedreading People" by Paul D. Tieger & Barbara Barron Tieger

"Just Your Type" *by Paul D. Tieger & Barbara Barron Tieger

"Please Understand Me" by David Keirsey (excellent book)

"Nuture by Nature" by Paul D. Tieger & Barbara Barron Tieger (great book in understanding the shortcomings "NTs" experience by being raised by "SJ" parents. *You know, an NT or NF raised by "SJ" or "SP" parents assume the role of parent to their parents---exception is---STJ parents---because they rule.)

"Beside Ourselves" by Naomi L. Quenk -- helps to identify what we become when we are "in the grip" and stressed out to the max. *The book confirms how INTJs become more OCD than they are already. *

On a side note, "Presidential Temperaments" by David Keirsey is a great book, too. *It discusses the Presidents of the U.S. and goes into their temperaments. *The great INTJ President was Thomas Jefferson. *Any INTJ can truly understand that Thomas Jefferson did have a relationship with Sally Hemings. *After all, INTJs are very complex human beings. * *

[Jbmontag]

Someone mentioned the being "understood" thing, and those were words from my mouth. The intellectual connection always gets me....flush. I remember times of intellectual connection as if they were yesterday and desire that above all else.

I tried "dating" and I just don't get it. I usually just end up confused and frustrated. If I find there is just a physical attraction and sex is an option, I have no problem with compartmentalizing as long as their are rules in place. Only an INTJ would want rules to a relationship lol

[OneBadMother]

Question to pep things up:

-Who initiates sex, you or your partner?

[rwyatt365]

Question to pep things up:

-Who initiates sex, you or your partner?
Oooooh, spicey! :-[ :-*

Generally, I do (as in actually making the suggestion). But my wife is more the "emotional aggressor" (as in making innuendos, or giving signals), she just defers to me because she feels that is the "natural order of things" (her words, not mine).

[SirJac]

I suppose I am lucky that I am physically attractive and well endowed. It has certainly given me more opportunitees to expand my sexual experiences then I would have otherwise. Sex without some sort of attraction for me isn't terribly satisfying. It's like masterbating, quells the primal urges but nothing else.

I kind of approach it as I would a video game, the goal its to give the best experience possible for my partner. Different actions have different results, some actions get good results all the time. Other actions work well on some types but not on others. Experiment with what works and what doesn't and go for the high score. It's kind of a cold way to approach it, but no one complains.

Sex with attraction and emotion is very different though, and infinitely more enjoyable. I've only ever experienced it with one person. It makes staying loyal a non-issue, since sex with someone else is completely unappealing. Also means that I won't be able to settle for less in any relationship going forward.

[Lrigyttiw]

Don't remind me. I'm 26 and my longest time dating was 2 months (out of three short periods). Embarrassing to admit, but I'm still a virgin. :-/

I'm missing what I'm not having, so I wish I was still a virgin, then I wouldn't miss what I never had....

[volk]

Ummm sex, that's gotta be in a warm, secure place like my couch. Dim lights and possibly some good movie on the background. It's gotta be with someone I know well and with lots of kissing, licking and touching. That's how I like it ;D