I can't believe...

[Rei]

So the other day I had a 'friend' (who's really more of an aquaintance I see a lot) over, and we were chatting.
And for some reason we started talking about a mutual 'friend' who is also her boyfriend. *(we all met at a school 'club')
And out of no where she says, "I can't believe it's going to be six months next week."

And I had no idea how I was supposed to react to that. *Actually I can't even remember how I reacted... I probably just smiled and said "yeah" and looked away.

Essentially, I don't understand the point of that statement. *I didn't need to know how long they've been together... it's not my business. *Was is just a lack of anything better to say or what? *It seemed to me like she was reminding me that they're dating. *(as if I would have forgotten over the summer?) *:thinking:


Has anyone had a similar experience? (people telling you about their relationship with their significant other for not obvious reason) And what did you think of/how did you react to it?

[hr]

Come to think of it, I can't really understand when people say "I can't believe *insert some special event that's not so special here* happened." either.

[biased]

I can't believe is generally a synonym for an intense emotional experience that has lasted this long

at least that's how I view it :lovestruck:

be happy for her is how you "should" react imo :)

[Rei]

I can't believe is generally a synonym for an intense emotional experience that has lasted this long

at least that's how I view it :lovestruck:

be happy for her is how you "should" react imo :)

Well yeah, I'm as happy for her as I could possibly be. But obviously I'm not very good at showing emotions like that; which leads to such emotional expressions causing me huge discomfort. Especially because there really isn't anything I can say about it since I don't know either of them that well. It's another story if there was a problem and she really needed to vent or talk about it.

[blueback]

I've found that most people just want to talk. If they spontaneously bring up a topic they are interested in they are probably looking for your permission to talk about it at length. If you say something pleasant and neutral they will take that as a go-ahead and continue talking. You can pretty much ignore what they are saying, just smile and nod, and 10 minutes later they will think you are an excellent conversationalist.

Besides, girls like to make big deals out of mediocre experiences. At least non-INTJ girls do ;) I'm a male cheerleader, so I've got some experience with girl-conversation-rules.

I think it's got something to do with the conversation between the two of you more than the topic. For example, in your case she was probably looking for you to say something about how it's great that the two of them are still together. I don't think she was looking for an exchange of factual information, but rather an emotionaly bonding conversation.

[HackerX]

Response:
"Yeah, I can't believe he'd want to go out with you for that long as well!"

[Guido]

Hmmm.... For the most part, she's looking for you to emotionally praise her. Something like: 'OMG LOLZ You're so good at life!!!!' or something equally silly. However, I think there's another factor. Although I don't know the variables at all, I'm certain there is a percentage (low or high, I don't know) of this statement that means: "Oh btw, he's mine not yours." If you're both friends with the same guy, there's a possessive factor (assuming she cares about him) there on her part even if it's only at a subconscious level. How big of a factor depends on the person, your relationship with her, and your relationship with the guy… but it's definitely there. Odds are, it's a friendly reminder and/or checkup to see if you're still 'safe' in the sense that you react appropriately and are deemed a non threat.

If you start paying attention very very closely, there's a lot more going on with socializing than you'd think at first. Once you cut through the deadwood that is. And there's lots of deadwood...

[iamnotspock]

Response 2:

"Don't worry, it'll be over soon."

[qwerty]

With both Guido and blue back on this one:

1) It's like when guys see you talking to their girls and they come up behind them and put their arms around them, marking their territory and hinting for you to back off.

2) But also I'd do the same when I want to talk about something and I'm getting a feeling to see if the other person is interested in the subject. Example "I've just finished playing soccer" means "I've want to talk about how awesome my game of soccer was" it's sort of small talkish as it stretches out the conversation and helps getting an idea about if the other party is really interested rather than "I finished playing soccer and I kicked a goal and everyone cheered and I had so much fun and there was this one guy and I tripped him over and I didn't get penalized and he was a jerk for the rest of the game and then...." as you can see it lets you opt out if the topic is perhaps more important than just soccer and they think you might say something bad.

btw, just for laughs
Response 3: I'd hit it.

[jeffersonian]

Has anyone had a similar experience? (people telling you about their relationship with their significant other for not obvious reason) And what did you think of/how did you react to it?

[hr]


Yeah, I'm consistently annoyed by "my boyfriend/girlfriend" remarks. I hear these phrases far too often, and some people should really be beaten for their flagrant abuse of the language. To amuse myself, I count how many times "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" is uttered by the offending parties. This allows me to rank them in a system of penalty.

I believe they drop it to demonstrate that they are accepted and well-adjusted individuals. Anyone needing to not only acquire validation but also put it on display is cleary certifiable.

[Rei]

With both Guido and blue back on this one:

1) It's like when guys see you talking to their girls and they come up behind them and put their arms around them, marking their territory and hinting for you to back off.

2) But also I'd do the same when I want to talk about something and I'm getting a feeling to see if the other person is interested in the subject. Example "I've just finished playing soccer" means "I've want to talk about how awesome my game of soccer was" it's sort of small talkish as it stretches out the conversation and helps getting an idea about if the other party is really interested rather than "I finished playing soccer and I kicked a goal and everyone cheered and I had so much fun and there was this one guy and I tripped him over and I didn't get penalized and he was a jerk for the rest of the game and then...." as you can see it lets you opt out if the topic is perhaps more important than just soccer and they think you might say something bad.

btw, just for laughs
Response 3: I'd hit it.

Yeah that's pretty much how I see it.
Possible Reason 1:
She just wants to talk about it, but there's no one but Ms. Antisocial to tell. In which case, I had no clue how to make her feel comfortable about continuing her chatter. Frankly I wouldn't mind hearing the chatter (it gives me something to black mail her with :thumbsup: jokes, jokes... ;) )
Possible Reason 2:
She's marking her territory. The thought of this made me rather annoyed. Did I look like I was flirting... ever? I don't even talk to the guy on a regular basis. "DO I LOOK LIKE I WANT YOUR BOYFRIEND TO YOU?!" Gods no... So I'd rather not think about that.
Again, I wouldn't know how to react to that either. I couldn't bring myself to act all preppy about it... because I don't act like that... ever. :thinking:
Feelers... *shakes head*

Yeah, I'm consistently annoyed by "my boyfriend/girlfriend" remarks. I hear these phrases far too often, and some people should really be beaten for their flagrant abuse of the language. To amuse myself, I count how many times "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" is uttered by the offending parties. This allows me to rank them in a system of penalty.

I believe they drop it to demonstrate that they are accepted and well-adjusted individuals. Anyone needing to not only acquire validation but also put it on display is cleary certifiable.

Ugh, that really bugs me. It's annoying when people sound like their lives revolve around their boyfriends/girlfriends. The more often they say it, the more screwed they are if they ever break up :thinking:

[Jbmontag]

I actually will start to analyze their relationship. Bring up all the stuff they've forgotten they told me, I find as I start de-constructing, they lose interest in the topic.

For Guido....'OMG LOLZ You're so good at life!!!!'....that is an awesome, I'm going to hit someone with that to see the reaction. Mucho Kudos :thumbsup:

[Rei]

Besides, girls like to make big deals out of mediocre experiences. At least non-INTJ girls do ;) I'm a male cheerleader, so I've got some experience with girl-conversation-rules.

Feels like a loser that a guy has better girl-conversation experience than I do.

I actually will start to analyze their relationship. Bring up all the stuff they've forgotten they told me, I find as I start de-constructing, they lose interest in the topic.

For Guido....'OMG LOLZ You're so good at life!!!!'....that is an awesome, I'm going to hit someone with that to see the reaction. Mucho Kudos :thumbsup:

The problem with this particular case was that I don't know anything about either of them... hence the "WTF" reaction to her random topic starter.

Yeah... maybe I should pop her an "Oh em gee! El oh el zz, You're so good at life!!!!!"
[smiley=surprised.gif][smiley=surprised.gif][smiley=surprised.gif][smiley=surprised.gif][smiley=surprised.gif][smiley=surprised.gif][smiley=surprised.gif]

[Jbmontag]

I'd actually use the words instead of an Onomatopoeia ;D A good valley girl accent would top it off. At least that is how I hear it in my head.


Two bubble heads demonstrating in case you need it:

Frank Zappa- Valley Girl

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[Rei]

I'd actually use the words instead of an Onomatopoeia ;D A good valley girl accent would top it off. At least that is how I hear it in my head.


Two bubble heads demonstrating in case you need it:

Frank Zappa- Valley Girl

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I can be a good actress... but I don't think I can convince myself to pull that one off...

[blueback]

For Guido....'OMG LOLZ You're so good at life!!!!'....that is an awesome, I'm going to hit someone with that to see the reaction. Mucho Kudos :thumbsup:

LOL, yeah. I like to say "Congratulations" or "It's amazing you have time to achieve so much and talk about it too." when people tell me things like that.