View Full Version : "Hi, how are you?"
Firelie
09-25-2007, 09:59 PM
Have you ever been around someone who asks you how you are every single time they see you, whether they actually care to hear the answer or not?
There are a couple of women where I work who do this. I have a problem with being annoyingly honest sometimes, so when I get asked a question like this and I'm not terribly busy, I tend to answer fully. The lady stands there and looks for all the world like she wished she hadn't asked the question (her impatience is pretty clear to see), yet every single day she asks "How are you?" every freaking time she sees me.
I really don't get it. Why bother asking the question if you don't want to hear the answer?
Jezebel
09-25-2007, 10:27 PM
People at my work do it too. Our ritual usually goes something like this, with coworkers briskly walking by me in the hallway:
coworker: "hi! how are you?"
me: "good! how are you?" ...and I keep walking, not slowing down to hear their answer.
I know they don't really care how I'm doing. I just do it since apparently I already do enough other things to secure my image as being weird and difficult to socialize with. I agree that it's an annoying social ritual because of the meaningless way people say it so often. I guess it's supposed to sound more friendly than just acknowledging someone by saying "hello". It doesn't make sense to me to do such things if I really don't care about how a person is doing, so I'll only do it as a response.
Tarrick
09-26-2007, 12:25 AM
Yes, I have my auto response: "Fine and you?" or "Good and you?" But the annoying thing is is that less then a third of the time do they ever respond! I mean, if I have to engage in the social ritual, why don't they finish it?!
This proves to me that they don't really care. It's just polite to say that as a greeting. When I greet people it's usually, "Greetings and Saluations". Why? Why not?
rwyatt365
09-27-2007, 07:23 AM
All of these (so-called) greetings are just a social ritual, not intended to convey any meaning whatsoever. No one REALLY expects you to answer the question, it's just a (supposedly) friendlier way to say "hi".
It doesn't make sense to me to do such things if I really don't care about how a person is doing, so I'll only do it as a response.
Jezebel, our insistence on rationality does not extend to the general population. Where they are content to mindlessly engage in the ritual, we ask the question...why?
Firelie
09-27-2007, 11:15 AM
So in other words...the best course of action is to say "Fine thanks" and keep walking. Gosh that's stupid. Why can't people just say "Hi" and leave it at that?
Meh.
rwyatt365
09-27-2007, 11:43 AM
So in other words...the best course of action is to say "Fine thanks" and keep walking. *Gosh that's stupid. *Why can't people just say "Hi" and leave it at that?
Meh.
I agree completely, but "them's the rules".
Side note; isn't "bye" a gross contraction of the phrase "god be with ye" from the olden days? If so, how long will it take for "How's it goin'" to contract to something else?
Tarrick
09-27-2007, 02:12 PM
So in other words...the best course of action is to say "Fine thanks" and keep walking. Gosh that's stupid. Why can't people just say "Hi" and leave it at that?
Meh.
Because the vast majority of people do these thing without any understanding of why they are? And almost always when someone is doing something for that reason, they will defend it fanatically?
Side note; isn't "bye" a gross contraction of the phrase "god be with ye" from the olden days? If so, how long will it take for "How's it goin'" to contract to something else?
Looks that way to me.
I've often wondered about this question.
The problem is, just saying "hi" is so dry. I usually opt to just pretend I didn't see unless I actually want to/should talk to the person.
When I get greeted first, I try my best to think of a way not to be rude but at the same time not asking how they are in return.
At which I always fail.
So now I always pretend I'm in a hurry to get somewhere important.
Guido
09-27-2007, 07:23 PM
The key is to try and remain unspotted :D They can't start small talk if they can't see you.
Well yes... that usually works for me.
Except that one time I was browsing the book sale at our UC. And at least 3 people came up to me and started a conversation. And I couldn't say I was in a hurry anywhere because it was obvious I wasn't. I was screaming inside because all I wanted to do was buy some books! :'(
Tarrick
09-27-2007, 11:27 PM
Well yes... that usually works for me.
Except that one time I was browsing the book sale at our UC. And at least 3 people came up to me and started a conversation. And I couldn't say I was in a hurry anywhere because it was obvious I wasn't. I was screaming inside because all I wanted to do was buy some books! :'(
So you nod and grab books at random and start scanning them, then half apologize that you didn't hear them because you were searching for something in the book. Do that a few times and they might get the idea.
Yeah I resorted to that after a while. But I felt horrible :-/
I had a classic example of avoiding the "Hi, how are you?" line today.
So I was coming out of class, and speeding along to get some breakfast before my next class. And suddenly I notice two people I know ahead of me (who don't know each other). And I was like, "oh shit, even if one doesn't notice me, the other one will!" So I purposefully slowed, hoping people will just pass me and fill the gap b/w my aquaintances and I. Sadly the gap didn't fill, so in panic, I literally turned around and took another route.
My introversion at it's peak :o
Tarrick
09-28-2007, 12:03 PM
Meh. I've been there before. I just tuck and barrel through and wave if they notice me.
Well the problem is that these are people meet with regularly. So basically I'd be forced into conversation if they'd seen me.
Tarrick
09-28-2007, 12:23 PM
If you meet them regularly, then just hurriedly say that you can't chat right then and you'll catch up later. I mean, it's not like they've never been in a rush before I assume.
they know my schedule...
so unless I could think of a really good excuse on the spot (maybe that's why I was so paniked, i wasn't awake enough to make a good excuse) that wouldn't work
These people would actually offer to go where ever with me and then sit with me till the next class (i assume because they're really bored and lonely - one's an I and the other's a borderline E).
Tarrick
09-28-2007, 01:07 PM
May God have mercy on your soul.
May God have mercy on your soul.
I don't thin that'd compensate for the numerous times I've reasoned against his existance. If God exists, then he is actively punishing me for it by making my life a living hell. So I'd rather that he didn't so I wouldn't have to hate him for doing so :D
Dropping the religion topic as of now...
Tarrick
09-28-2007, 02:22 PM
May God have mercy on your soul.
I don't thin that'd compensate for the numerous times I've reasoned against his existance. If God exists, then he is actively punishing me for it by making my life a living hell. So I'd rather that he didn't so I wouldn't have to hate him for doing so :D
Dropping the religion topic as of now...
Just an expression ;)
....Really....
May God have mercy on your soul.
I don't thin that'd compensate for the numerous times I've reasoned against his existance. *If God exists, then he is actively punishing me for it by making my life a living hell. *So I'd rather that he didn't so I wouldn't have to hate him for doing so *:D
Dropping the religion topic as of now...
Just an expression *;)
....Really....
Yes, Christianity is much too infused with expressions in the English language.
Spealing of which, I wonder when "oh my god" came to be. Considering it's supposed to be a bad thing to say, why the heck do people say it?
Tarrick
09-28-2007, 02:41 PM
Same thing with Damn. That's short for Damnation to hell.
And then there's hell itself.
Exactly!
It's impossible to avoid referencing religion in the English language. Or is it like that in every other language, and I just haven't noticed?
blueback
10-06-2007, 01:15 PM
Well yes... that usually works for me.
Except that one time I was browsing the book sale at our UC. *And at least 3 people came up to me and started a conversation. *And I couldn't say I was in a hurry anywhere because it was obvious I wasn't. *I was screaming inside because all I wanted to do was buy some books! *:'(
You could try the strategy of poisonous rainforest frogs. Dress in such a way that no one will ever bother you =)
Or maybe you could use your expression to do the same thing. Just imagine you are constantly smelling something horrible and I think people will stay away.
Perhaps you could come up with a canned line to get rid of people. Like "Oh, before you stand to close to me you should know that I'm on the sexual predators list. What were you saying?" Or "I'm about to fart. It's going to be bad." Or "I appreciate that you're trying to start a conversation but I'd rather you didn't. No offense or anything."
biased
10-06-2007, 01:18 PM
"Good <time of the day>, How're you doing today?" feels more natural too me and people seem to respond to it more sincerely than "Hi, how are you?"
blueback
10-06-2007, 01:19 PM
Exactly!
It's impossible to avoid referencing religion in the English language. *Or is it like that in every other language, and I just haven't noticed?
I read some where that most references to God don't count as actually referencing God. The common ones like "Oh my God" and "God damn it." They actually activate the same areas of the brain as cursing, which is a sort of involuntary action like sneezing. Even athiests who grow up in America will say "Jesus Christ" when they see something profoundly stupid. Those phrases simply get attached to a different area of the brain. Kind of like Turets Syndrom involves cursing because those words are stored in a different way than non-curse words.
Exactly!
It's impossible to avoid referencing religion in the English language. *Or is it like that in every other language, and I just haven't noticed?
I read some where that most references to God don't count as actually referencing God. *The common ones like "Oh my God" and "God damn it." *They actually activate the same areas of the brain as cursing, which is a sort of involuntary action like sneezing. *Even athiests who grow up in America will say "Jesus Christ" when they see something profoundly stupid. *Those phrases simply get attached to a different area of the brain. *Kind of like Turets Syndrom involves cursing because those words are stored in a different way than non-curse words.
Yeah I realize that. *I just wonder how it got that way. *That saying "Jesus Christ" and "Oh my God" became cursing...
bikerscars
10-06-2007, 01:47 PM
Yeah I realize that. I just wonder how it got that way. That saying "Jesus Christ" and "Oh my God" because cursing...
is fun/ antisocial/ ironic/ rebellious
generalowk
10-09-2007, 08:11 PM
Yeah, seems like we gotta "play the game" with all the social rituals and small talk.
For greetings, I try to smile and just say "Hi" or "Good morning". Sometimes it's hard to force the smile in when I get caught off-guard. For departures, I like to say "See ya later" or "Take it easy".
Every once in awhile, if I'm not in a hurry, when someone asks "How ya doin'?", I'll respond with a comment that I'm not feeling too well or have a particular problem. This really throws them for a loop, because I catch them in their insincerity, and they usually feel obligated to stop and feign sympathy. Since it's generally a waste of time, I do this rarely, and usually with someone who has annoyed me. Maybe next time they won't be so trite, or maybe they will avoid making small talk with me altogether! :)
qwerty
10-10-2007, 03:21 AM
given that it is technically a greeting "G'day mate how ya going?" it stands as a greeting in my books not as an indepth conversation starter. However it does get annoying when people use it to start a conversation you didn't want to have.
Myself I do treat it as a way to bring a smile to peoples faces too - not general people - but say a shop clerk who has to actually say it and who asking how my day is has lost all meaning (not the ones that get picked up all the time, but the ugly ones too :) - as long as they don't have the don't talk to me look on their face) as it breaks the dullness of their job. The lady in the corner shop from where I live loves it and her face lights up whenever I come in now because she seems so lonely when no-one else will say hi.
phoenix
10-10-2007, 07:12 AM
I have a person I have to interface with for work that asks this question every time we talk! (always a phone conversation) And what's worse, she pauses and expects an answer. I can handle the ritual, though I never ask how someone's doing, I just say hi. But with this lady I have to come up with something to say as a response or she won't continue the conversation. I'm considering just asking her to stop asking that as it irritates me to no end.
So yeah, this question simply sucks.
OneBadMother
10-10-2007, 08:56 AM
The worst is when they say it as they're walking by. My mom gets annoyed whenever I just say, "Alright," but is it really any better to quickly spurt out, "Okay, and you?" as they're walking by? :P Being "courteous" does not make you a better person.
Firelie
10-11-2007, 08:54 AM
The worst is when they say it as they're walking by. My mom gets annoyed whenever I just say, "Alright," but is it really any better to quickly spurt out, "Okay, and you?" as they're walking by? :P
Exactly. I've always wondered if people get offended that I rarely ask them how they are in return. Maybe they do.
thegnat
10-13-2007, 02:50 PM
Yes, I have my auto response: "Fine and you?" or "Good and you?" But the annoying thing is is that less then a third of the time do they ever respond! I mean, if I have to engage in the social ritual, why don't they finish it?!
This proves to me that they don't really care. It's just polite to say that as a greeting. When I greet people it's usually, "Greetings and Saluations". Why? Why not?
That is the same situation with me! My second auto response is "Good, how are you?"
I think I should start saying something other than that to greet people like your "Greetings and Salutations" hmm....
OneBadMother
10-13-2007, 07:13 PM
With my male friends it's much easier. I can just wave and say "hey", and they'll do that little head-nod thing and say "Hey" back. Simple as that.
With my male friends it's much easier. I can just wave and say "hey", and they'll do that little head-nod thing and say "Hey" back. Simple as that.
Yeah... that is true.
Unfortunately my campus is 66% female, and likewise, my 'friends' at campus breakdown is also 66% female. *sigh*
Come winter, I'm going to go around wearing a hood over my head. :thinking:
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