Do you as an INTJ ever used doorslamming?

[mind_wander]

I read on other personality types used the doorslamming, like INFJ. My interperation of the doorslamming is when you are using this as a defensive mechanism to shut out others from your life for a brief moment; later get back to them. I've used this approach occasionally.

[The Rose]

Yes.
I would slam the door and forget all about them - never to be let back in.
Like turning a faucet off.
I think that's how I protected myself from pain.
I don't do that anymore.

Although, wait a minute...
I guess there are a couple of people who I feel rejected me, so I don't pursue them any more.
Far be it from me to force myself on someone.
But that's not quite the same thing.

There are 3 women in my life who I can't get along with so I avoid them.
I'm not a nurturer of relationships anyway.

[mind_wander]

lol, great examples of doorslamming. Yeah, there are INTJ's in here who had used this and not admitting it.

[Firelie]

We're not referring to literal doorslamming, right? I have too much respect for doors to slam them.

I always cut people off when I decide I'm done with them. Except my last ex bf, I still try to be friends with him even though he's certain I hate him or something. Oh, and this one girl I used to be friends with, I kinda cut her off on accident...she was always whining about everyone hating her, so I explained it to her one day and she didn't take it so well (I've since learned not to tell people my observations about them...). I guess I didn't really slam the door on my first bf, either, since he's still my friend (albeit an entirely platonic one -- he's married with a kid on the way now...oddly, she looks quite a bit like me). Due to MySpace, a lot of the people I cut ties with are sorta creeping back, though. I don't know how to explain it, I'm a bit fascinated with seeing how people have turned out or something.

[mind_wander]

We're not referring to literal doorslamming, right? *I have too much respect for doors to slam them.

I always cut people off when I decide I'm done with them. *Except my last ex bf, I still try to be friends with him even though he's certain I hate him or something. *Oh, and this one girl I used to be friends with, I kinda cut her off on accident...she was always whining about everyone hating her, so I explained it to her one day and she didn't take it so well (I've since learned not to tell people my observations about them...). *I guess I didn't really slam the door on my first bf, either, since he's still my friend (albeit an entirely platonic one -- he's married with a kid on the way now...oddly, she looks quite a bit like me). *Due to MySpace, a lot of the people I cut ties with are sorta creeping back, though. *I don't know how to explain it, I'm a bit fascinated with seeing how people have turned out or something.

Nice examples, the doorslamming concepts is not the literal meaning, but the defense mechanism to cut-ties, break-off people's words, etc.

[gwalchma]

Oh yeah! I'm a door slammer from wayyy back! I was 20yo the first time someone told me that I have this "switch" I use for people. It took me a few years to fully understand - being 20 and immature I was not about to accept what others said about me as I didn't think they knew a darn thing anyways!
But yes, I still have that defense mechanism - I turn that switch off on a person, that's it! Now it takes alot more than it did back then to get me to that point. I've learned discernment and how to be more cautious about who I let in my life, so those that are "in" are usually the ones I intend on keeping. That sounds really arrogant, as I read it, so let me rephrase: those are the ones I feel accept me and my "idiosyncrasies" as much as I accept theirs!
As far as letting someone back in...I usually regret it down the road and flip that switch for good.

[mind_wander]

Closing the door is so normal to INTJ's, but opening it is so hard.

[rwyatt365]

"Doorslamming" – so there's a word for it now?! Do I use it – ABSOLUTELY!

Short-term; when dealing with irrational, or overly emotional people - *BANG!* - I tune them out and listen to my internal voice until the storm has passed.

Long-term; when I'm through with someone (as in they've done irreparable harm to me and I have determined not to have anything further to do with them) - *BANG!* - they are officially out of my life.

[mind_wander]

"Doorslamming" – so there's a word for it now?! Do I use it – ABSOLUTELY!

Short-term; when dealing with irrational, or overly emotional people - *BANG!* - I tune them out and listen to my internal voice until the storm has passed.

Long-term; when I'm through with someone (as in they've done irreparable harm to me and I have determined not to have anything further to do with them) - *BANG!* - they are officially out of my life.
Man, you really crack me up; I am so happy to be on this forum. Why is that?, you wrote it all out for me.

Step 1- I totally agree with you
Step 2- I absolutely agree with you, however I believe in second chances [this is due to Asian cultural side-mental conscience]

[rwyatt365]

Man, you really crack me up; I am so happy to be on this forum. Why is that?, you wrote it all out for me.

Step 1- I totally agree with you
Step 2- I absolutely agree with you, however I believe in second chances [this is due to Asian cultural side-mental conscience]
My philosophy on long-term doorslamming; Any person has three chances to screw me over. I will not change my approach to that person, or treat them less civilly while they are operating within that "grace period". I will let them know that they have crossed the line and that they are in jeopardy of being cut out. I will also let them know what they have done, how it affected me, and what they can do to rectify the situation.

Then I wait…and count; one, two, three…

On the third (and final) "screw-over" I will sit the person down and tell them that I am done with them, that I have nothing further to do with them and that they should not expect to hear from, or see me again (unless by accident). The whole process is very civil (at least for me it is). After that, door closed – time to move on.

I have done this with ex-acquaintances, ex-girlfriends, and ex-wives (only one BTW). I am about to do this with my father if he persists in bad-mouthing me to my son (he's on #2 now). No one is immune.

I said all of that to say this; I believe that I am fair when I "doorslam", and I do give people second chances.

[mind_wander]

I know what you mean. Well back to my personality trait, lol putting in this term. The silent treatment is the worst, I don't send an email, voicemail, no pink slips, or notice that you are cut off. On with my life, keep coming back more silence to ya, eventually somewhere it will click I don't like you.

[iamnotspock]

As a child I used literal door-slamming. As an adult, figurative door-slamming.

[deicruxified]

lol, great examples of doorslamming. Yeah, there are INTJ's in here who had used this and not admitting it.
errr yeah brooded inside the my room for the next 48 hours i only come out if i'm already extremely hungry