"Oh my God, this person is retarded."

[vulcan]

I admit that I probably give new people the benefit of the doubt more than other INTJs. But, I just have to ask, am I the only one who, after a period of conversation, has the thread title line flash in their mind repeatedly and tunes out for the rest of the conversation or tries to escape?

[thegnat]

I admit that I probably give new people the benefit of the doubt more than other INTJs. But, I just have to ask, am I the only one who, after a period of conversation, has the thread title line flash in their mind repeatedly and tunes out for the rest of the conversation or tries to escape?

Nope, you're not the only one.

Sometimes even with people I know who I think are talking about worthless subjects to me at least (ie shopping, relationships, gossip, etc). I'll attempt to give the people the benefit of the doubt, but then after a certain time passes I'll just start thinking about how stupid the subject is why in the world would I ever care and how worthless the subject it is...then after awhile after thinking about that (already partially tuned out of the conversation) I might go to the thread title :-X They should know me better than to talk about that shit right? :-?

[Tegyrius]

Ayep. Some days, I feel like I have an inane remark counter in my head. Every time a conversational partner trips it, it increments. Once it passes a certain threshold - whose value depends on my mood - I stop listening and engage the "nod and smile" autopilot.

[Natrushka]

Oh god, you're so not the only one. I have had to learn to fake a look of interest so my eyes don't glaze over too obviously.

[thegnat]

Ayep. Some days, I feel like I have an inane remark counter in my head. Every time a conversational partner trips it, it increments. Once it passes a certain threshold - whose value depends on my mood - I stop listening and engage the "nod and smile" autopilot.

Oh, the nod and smile method - works so well. Makes people really think you're listening and you do really care but you don't really give a damn. I've used that quite a bit. Has been very useful for me.

[rwyatt365]

Ayep. *Some days, I feel like I have an inane remark counter in my head. *Every time a conversational partner trips it, it increments. *Once it passes a certain threshold - whose value depends on my mood - I stop listening and engage the "nod and smile" autopilot.
Same counter, different response. I have not perfected the nod-and-smile. I just zone out, go into blank stare mode and start saying in my head "Please shut up. Please shut up. Please shut up...". My hope is that, through a psychic connection, they will; a) stop talking, b) begin to say rational things, or c) explode in a flaming fireball.

[orange]

I admit that I probably give new people the benefit of the doubt more than other INTJs. But, I just have to ask, am I the only one who, after a period of conversation, has the thread title line flash in their mind repeatedly and tunes out for the rest of the conversation or tries to escape?

Almost every day at some point.

Unlike some of the others here I dont use a counter to determin when I tune out, instead i use a timer that resets every time something interesting is said. The length of the timer depends on my mood.

The funny thing is that after I stop listening I can still give meaningful responces to what is being said. I guess I use background memory because I never remeber what they or I say right after its said. I'm good at the auto nod or the automatic uh-huh if someone is talking your ear off on the phone, but I perfer to start doing something else whlie they are talking to me. That is where my lap comes in handy.

[mind_wander]

dude, you are not the only one. I think without my dad taking the personality test. Taking an educated guess is fits in the ISFP:To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

There are things, I tune in and there are things I tune-out. At most times, it gets really frustrating too the point, me get out some schoolwork to do and listen to the music. When most of my family members talks in terms of logic, he turns the other direction. Has anyone experience this?

What about when your watching the tv [moment of silence], just enjoy and relax, then all of the sudden someone keep on translating whats going, spoilers, and then repeat it again?

So frustration, I am smart enough to translate it, analyze it, understand it. Darn it, I am INTJ.

[Jennywocky]

Well, it is not just an INTJ thing... INTPs go through this all the time too.

And it's a fairly quick thing -- I can tell early on by HOW someone thinks and what they prioritize in the conversation how "intelligent" they are and how clearly they think.

Usually I don't say anything and still continue to listen, just in case they surprise me (you never know when you'll sift out a diamond in the sludge), but mentally I have already calculated the percentage of this [as being abysmally small] and have started multitasking other more important things, while keeping one ear open to monitor their mouth and hope beyond hope they'll be called away or have someone else interrupt them so I can make my escape...

*groan*

[Rei]

I admit that I probably give new people the benefit of the doubt more than other INTJs. But, I just have to ask, am I the only one who, after a period of conversation, has the thread title line flash in their mind repeatedly and tunes out for the rest of the conversation or tries to escape?

Not so much repeatedly, but it's definitely happened. I usually tell them really quickly that I have to be somewhere doing something important and just plain leave. I mean, if it's just boring then I'll be slightly more polite about it. If the retardation is there... I'll just zoom off ASAP... what if the retard virus comes and invades my brain too? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! ::)

[ShaiGar]

Oh god I have that same response. My ISFJ father keeps trying to talk to me about subjects that he thinks i need to learn and i just switch off... and I work in an internet cafe, soo many dumb people....

I wish i could use mental commands, Avada Kedavra would be one of my most used commands. With a smile on my face and spite in my heart. (not against my father, just customers)

[mind_wander]

lol, you crack me up. Yeah, thats the same approach for me. Trust destroying a father-son relationship is a bad way to go.

[Jezebel]

Same counter, different response. I have not perfected the nod-and-smile. I just zone out, go into blank stare mode and start saying in my head "Please shut up. Please shut up. Please shut up...". My hope is that, through a psychic connection, they will; a) stop talking, b) begin to say rational things, or c) explode in a flaming fireball.
I also use rwyatt's method. Smiles and nods might encourage them to keep talking.

[rwyatt365]

I also use rwyatt's method. Smiles and nods might encourage them to keep talking.
I have matured over the years. In college days my tactic was to say, "Oh, excuse me. You must be mistaking me for someone that gives a shit." Then walk away...

Needless to say, I was not very popular. I wonder why :-?

[TeleportThis]

I usually just stare at them until they shut up and then leave.

[r21left]

Not to be a wet blanket, but keep in mind that this usually happens when we meet a person who is out of their element and loitering around areas where INTJs are found - school, business, etc. I'm sure if we went to a club or an aimless social event, we'd be the ones sticking out and subject to ridicule.

[rwyatt365]

Not to be a wet blanket, but keep in mind that this usually happens when we meet a person who is out of their element and loitering around areas where INTJs are found - school, business, etc. I'm sure if we went to a club or an aimless social event, we'd be the ones sticking out and subject to ridicule.
...to some degree.

I used to be a regular at clubs in the metro-area in the 80's. I treated it as an exploration of social rituals, in that I wasn't dancin', or hittin' on the ladies but I was sitting back observing. I got to know quite a few of the waitresses and bartenders and we had a good time pointing out and commenting on "the happenings". I guess if anyone was paying any attention to me (and they weren't) I would have been subject to ridicule. The trick was to blend in, become invisible.

INTJ stealth ninja, ACTIVATE! [smiley=ninja.gif]

[Doppelbock]

Ayep. Some days, I feel like I have an inane remark counter in my head. Every time a conversational partner trips it, it increments. Once it passes a certain threshold - whose value depends on my mood - I stop listening and engage the "nod and smile" autopilot.
Same counter, different response. I have not perfected the nod-and-smile. I just zone out, go into blank stare mode and start saying in my head "Please shut up. Please shut up. Please shut up...". My hope is that, through a psychic connection, they will; a) stop talking, b) begin to say rational things, or c) explode in a flaming fireball.

Holy crap, that is exactly what I do! In my head: "Please shut up please shut up just shut up oh God make him shut up SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE F@#! UP SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP --" [head explodes].

DB

[mind_wander]

Not to be a wet blanket, but keep in mind that this usually happens when we meet a person who is out of their element and loitering around areas where INTJs are found - school, business, etc. I'm sure if we went to a club or an aimless social event, we'd be the ones sticking out and subject to ridicule.
...to some degree.

I used to be a regular at clubs in the metro-area in the 80's. I treated it as an exploration of social rituals, in that I wasn't dancin', or hittin' on the ladies but I was sitting back observing. I got to know quite a few of the waitresses and bartenders and we had a good time pointing out and commenting on "the happenings". I guess if anyone was paying any attention to me (and they weren't) I would have been subject to ridicule. The trick was to blend in, become invisible. *

INTJ stealth ninja, ACTIVATE! [smiley=ninja.gif]
Wow, you too; I know that I'm Asian. When $hit happens, I normally disappear in a flash; "Nickname: Stealth Ninjia". For example, one second I am here, you turned around, then I am gone. Then waiting alittle bit, I am back, next time I am gone. When you think I disappeared, apparently I fooled you; hello, I am still here.

[mind_wander]

Not to be a wet blanket, but keep in mind that this usually happens when we meet a person who is out of their element and loitering around areas where INTJs are found - school, business, etc. I'm sure if we went to a club or an aimless social event, we'd be the ones sticking out and subject to ridicule.
Here is a very good questions for INTJ's. IF there was a specialized school based on only your personality traits would you like to attend there. For example, if there was a specialized INTJ school of Business/Science/Art/Music, etc. Would you like to go? Heck yeah, no more arguments "Heaven", but the high majority of arguments are mostly intellectual.

[r21left]

Not to be a wet blanket, but keep in mind that this usually happens when we meet a person who is out of their element and loitering around areas where INTJs are found - school, business, etc. I'm sure if we went to a club or an aimless social event, we'd be the ones sticking out and subject to ridicule.
Here is a very good questions for INTJ's. IF there was a specialized school based on only your personality traits would you like to attend there. For example, if there was a specialized INTJ school of Business/Science/Art/Music, etc. Would you like to go? Heck yeah, no more arguments "Heaven", but the high majority of arguments are mostly intellectual.


I don't think I'd want to attend such a school. I need the diversity of personality types to see things from different angles, socialize adequately, etc. I like interacting with my INTJ friends at school, but I don't think I'd want *all* my school friends to be INTJs.

[thegnat]

Not to be a wet blanket, but keep in mind that this usually happens when we meet a person who is out of their element and loitering around areas where INTJs are found - school, business, etc. I'm sure if we went to a club or an aimless social event, we'd be the ones sticking out and subject to ridicule.
...to some degree.

I used to be a regular at clubs in the metro-area in the 80's. I treated it as an exploration of social rituals, in that I wasn't dancin', or hittin' on the ladies but I was sitting back observing. I got to know quite a few of the waitresses and bartenders and we had a good time pointing out and commenting on "the happenings". I guess if anyone was paying any attention to me (and they weren't) I would have been subject to ridicule. The trick was to blend in, become invisible.

INTJ stealth ninja, ACTIVATE! [smiley=ninja.gif]

I think INTJs have a great stealth capability. And if we're desperate we can sit in a corner, observe and we'd be far enough away that people may notice us in the corner but won't remember us. We'd be faceless people in the corner.

I also tend to observe when I'm at a social event. I won't know too many people but I'll go to the people I know, say hi, wander around, blend in and just observe everyone else. I'm not often at social events, however...

[vulcan]

I don't understand you guys who make visible signs of distaste to the person. Most everyone is useful in some way. Don't sever connections.

[The Rose]

I admit that I probably give new people the benefit of the doubt more than other INTJs. But, I just have to ask, am I the only one who, after a period of conversation, has the thread title line flash in their mind repeatedly and tunes out for the rest of the conversation or tries to escape?
I do that, too. Sometimes it's like torture to listen to some people.

[Rei]

I don't understand you guys who make visible signs of distaste to the person. Most everyone is useful in some way. Don't sever connections.

There are some people who are so 'retarded' that even if I could use, I wouldn't use. Because that would make me feel retarded.

[Epicurus]

What about when your watching the tv [moment of silence], just enjoy and relax, then all of the sudden someone keep on translating whats going, spoilers, and then repeat it again?

So frustration, I am smart enough to translate it, analyze it, understand it. Darn it, I am INTJ.My mom always does that, if she haven't fallen asleep in front of the tv or if I have insulted or annoyed her enough to make her go away that is.*

Usually if these persons would address me directly, I would just shut up as much as possible and try to seem interested in what they say, and meanwhile try to mentaly detach myself so I won't hear whatever they say or start to fantasize about applying my hatred on them in different ways. I also sometimes repeat words and sentences wich you already mentioned some of...

[rwyatt365]

What about when your watching the tv [moment of silence], just enjoy and relax, then all of the sudden someone keep on translating whats going, spoilers, and then repeat it again?

So frustration, I am smart enough to translate it, analyze it, understand it. Darn it, I am INTJ.My mom always does that, if she haven't fallen asleep in front of the tv that is or if I have insulted or annoyed her enough to make her go away. *

I hate that! My defense is a DVR...I just put it on pause, let them speak, rewind a little and then continue. Eventually they get the idea that they are being incredibly annoying. And, if not, I haven't missed anything.

[Epicurus]

What about when your watching the tv [moment of silence], just enjoy and relax, then all of the sudden someone keep on translating whats going, spoilers, and then repeat it again?

So frustration, I am smart enough to translate it, analyze it, understand it. Darn it, I am INTJ.My mom always does that, if she haven't fallen asleep in front of the tv that is or if I have insulted or annoyed her enough to make her go away. *

I hate that! My defense is a DVR...I just put it on pause, let them speak, rewind a little and then continue. Eventually they get the idea that they are being incredibly annoying. And, if not, I haven't missed anything.Ah yes I might just need one, atleast I can and do use that technique when im watching a dvd.

[Iannus Quirinus]

Ayep. Some days, I feel like I have an inane remark counter in my head. Every time a conversational partner trips it, it increments. Once it passes a certain threshold - whose value depends on my mood - I stop listening and engage the "nod and smile" autopilot.
Same counter, different response. I have not perfected the nod-and-smile. I just zone out, go into blank stare mode and start saying in my head "Please shut up. Please shut up. Please shut up...". My hope is that, through a psychic connection, they will; a) stop talking, b) begin to say rational things, or c) explode in a flaming fireball.


Exactly :)
I do what both of you said, but without the "please shut up" part.

But some times that I'm feeling well, I might even try to talk to them "in their way" and try to understand them - especially if you replace them with her, and if we're close.


What about when your watching the tv [moment of silence], just enjoy and relax, then all of the sudden someone keep on translating whats going, spoilers, and then repeat it again?

So frustration, I am smart enough to translate it, analyze it, understand it. Darn it, I am INTJ.My mom always does that, if she haven't fallen asleep in front of the tv that is or if I have insulted or annoyed her enough to make her go away.


Yeah. Though somehow, my mother infected me with this, and I do this too from time to time. That's a sad moment, especially when I remember it used to annoy me. :( (still does to some extent)fixed broken quote tags

[mind_wander]

What about when your watching the tv [moment of silence], just enjoy and relax, then all of the sudden someone keep on translating whats going, spoilers, and then repeat it again?

So frustration, I am smart enough to translate it, analyze it, understand it. Darn it, I am INTJ.My mom always does that, if she haven't fallen asleep in front of the tv or if I have insulted or annoyed her enough to make her go away that is.*

Usually if these persons would address me directly, I would just shut up as much as possible and try to seem interested in what they say, and meanwhile try to mentaly detach myself so I won't hear whatever they say or start to fantasize about applying my hatred on them in different ways. I also sometimes repeat words and sentences wich you already mentioned some of...

lol, yeah me too. In my mind..blah, blah, blah, my name, blah, blah, spoiler, blah. You get the picture.

[bucolic_]

I get this feeling often, sometimes I can't even look at their face when it happens... Happens almost everytime my boss opens her mouth..

[INTJoe]

Not sure exactly how I react to these people. I think that I would just look at them with the most blank expression possible. Just totally cold, until they realize they aren't stimulating me whatsoever and hopefully change the subject or walk away. lol.

[xtremegeek]

This is not just an INTJ behavior. I glaze over all the time when subjected to boring, meaningless conversation. My ESTJ sister is constantly accusing me of being arrogant. I have not perfected the 'smile and nod' tactic. Instead, I carry the false hope that the phrase "Scottie beam me up!" will actually work one day.

[mind_wander]

What you have not masted the "Smile and Nod" technique. I managed to do very well at it, maybe someone in here can help you out. Very easy, with a grin smile then a slight nod; thats all to it. Option B, just stare them in the eye.

[Orpheus]

This thought has popped through my mind in almost every conversation I've been in. That's why I tend to avoid conversations; they've never intellectually stimulated me at all.

[Franklin71]

I admit that I probably give new people the benefit of the doubt more than other INTJs. But, I just have to ask, am I the only one who, after a period of conversation, has the thread title line flash in their mind repeatedly and tunes out for the rest of the conversation or tries to escape?

You never know. I could be experiencing that right now.





Franklin71 added to this post, 0 minutes and 45 seconds later...

What you have not masted the "Smile and Nod" technique. I managed to do very well at it, maybe someone in here can help you out. Very easy, with a grin smile then a slight nod; thats all to it. Option B, just stare them in the eye.

The problem with those strategies is that they keep talking.

[Tranquillity]

You never know. I could be experiencing that right now.





Franklin71 added to this post, 0 minutes and 45 seconds later...



The problem with those strategies is that they keep talking.

My strategy with retarded comments is sarcasm. It is not so much a strategy but no more like a natural reaction now. People don't like it if you point out they are retarded so you need to make some funny but not so biting comment. I try to be more careful now to be more funny then cutting but sometimes do get it wrong.

[zilla]

I am often in conversations where the retarded thought pops into my head... I am a very good actress so appear to have an ease of social grace and politely chatter away whilst I quickly work out what the person wants (approval/advice/attention/answers) then give it to them and graciously exit the conversation with a smile. It's easy done, fast, relatively painless and nobody gets hurt. I'm generally conscious of the agenda's of others...

[lizzyb83]

Interesting, the first thought that popped into my head after reading this was having to explain new things to people who can't retain as well as I can. I remember having to go over a computer program with someone at least 10 separate times, after which he insisted on watching me go through the steps myself (while literally breathing down my neck, mind you) another few times so that he could "get it". By the end, I just blew my fuse and told him that he needs to figure it out by doing it himself. Five minutes later, he was stuck on the second step. I took a few deep breaths and realized that we are all human beings, with different strengths and weaknesses (some heavier on the latter), and that I needed to clench my teeth and be a good sport. Or maybe I'll just let someone else explain it to him...

[LionsPride]

As the girl proceeded to tell me a yet another 'funny' story of lying and hurting others, this one about the accident she had scraping the side of her car against a cement bank while driving drunk with a passenger and that after she puked all over the inside of her car and had to take it to the shammy because she wasn't going to clean "that" up, I realized that she didn't get it. She would never get it. Even worse was that she never stopped talking, allowing the whole world to hear how little she understood of it. I couldn't smile and nod because that would somehow let her think her verbal diarhea and morally objectionable content was validated by me. I eventually just turned my chair and stared off into space.

[BostonIan]

I have mental lists that I quietly put people on. One of them is basically "this person, X, once said something so unfit that it invalidates every other thought they will ever express". It's nothing personal, but, once they're on that list, I can't see them, can't hear them, skip right over their posts, it's just over.

[LaoTzu]

Haha, I have 'lists' too :)
Those people often wonder 'where I have gone', and why they don't see me around much anymore...

[kevintr]

If the person can cause me trouble I use nod and smile. Fortunantly most people who can cause me trouble either arn't retarded, respect me but don't particularly want to be my freind, or both.

Other people I ignore until they call my name five or six times and I finally break down and give a terse response. After a couple times they finally decide Im not worth the trouble and leave me alone.

I fantisize about this exchange:

"blah,blah,blah"

"shut up and leave me alone, go find a compassionate rock or something to talk to."

"That's very rude"

"Yes I admit Im a jerk, and only an idiot would want to talk to me. Are you that idiot?"

Of course this may well result in a long discourse on the need for some manners and an arguement on wether I have the duty to be the entertainment when other forms arn't avilable, or the right to be left alone.

I guess I should just leave people wondering what my "problem" is.

[JoshuaFairtex]

I truly believe I have mastered the art of the "nod and smile", I also am in the same position as another poster who said they can even give responses. I put myself on auto pilot but somehow I am still taking in all that they are saying but i'm not actually listening to a word of it, it feels amazing, the best part is when they ask for a response I can even give them one because it's like all the data is stored in my brain.





JoshuaFairtex added to this post, 1 minutes and 6 seconds later...

I do this with a lot of the females I know, because they tend to come to me for advice with their relationship, life drama etc.. Also an INTJ curse, everyone wants to talk to us and ask for advice.

[Frag]

Yep, the nagging "you're stupid, please shutup"... I do try to not judge in the first 5 seconds... sometimes...

In college days my tactic was to say, "Oh, excuse me. You must be mistaking me for someone that gives a shit." Then walk away...

Needless to say, I was not very popular. I wonder why :-?
That sir, is awesome. I'm not trying to win popularity contests, so it seems valid enough.

[SteveJrII]

I mostly just go with the 'smile and nod' approach, then when they stop talking, I tell them I have no interest in what they just said (hoping they wont talk to me about it again, however they always do again).

[lamplighter]

I usually zone out before the thought of "This person is retarded" comes to mind, my mind just seems to automatically tune out meaningless conversation. Which is a real burden if I'm trying to be sociable, because then it requires allot of effort to keep up with the conversation that I have no interest in, which leads to the thought "Why am I trying to be sociable again?".

[Asinine]

Yes, although typically, I don't bother wording it. I do have a similar thought, though, when going to (other) forums and trying to read a thread that has turned into an irrational err...urination contest: "My god, it's full of 'tards!"

[llBradll]

I enjoy talking to retards in the same way a hunter enjoys seeing a deer. But its better because I get more ammo then I need. Also seems to be an amazing vent.

[dogwoodlover]

I admit that I probably give new people the benefit of the doubt more than other INTJs. But, I just have to ask, am I the only one who, after a period of conversation, has the thread title line flash in their mind repeatedly and tunes out for the rest of the conversation or tries to escape?


This is how 98% of all my interactions unfold.

And yes, in my personal experience, I do this far more than my ISTP friend. I'd suspect it's probably because INTJs are more likely to place higher value on intelligence and competence.

[Wordsmith]

Oh yeah. I deal with that a fair bit and since I live at college my internal dialogue goes something along the lines of "My GOD, how did you get in here? Are you still talking? WHY are you still talking? How is it possible to use that many words and say absolutely nothing? please shut up. Please shut up. please shut up. please shut up..."

Depending on my mood I'll do one of a few things.

The "zone out and think about something interesting, while paying enough attention to say something appropriate when they mercifully have to draw breath, all the while looking for a socially acceptable escape route" method.

The "melt into the background and hope someone else from the group will field the socially necessitated response while I collate data and think about something more interesting"

Or my default "Come up with esoteric, sarcastic comments of varying levels of causticity and wit and then insert them into the conversation in a progressive manner" *

*note: works best if there is someone else there who understands what you are doing and thus your brilliant wit is appreciated.

[Mathnerdkid]

Yes!! I just shake my head and zone out...If it gets really bad (as in hours) I count doubles. "Okay, I have just wasted two hours of my life 'talking' to this idiot... 1+1=2, 2+2=4, 4+4=8, 8+8=16" and so on. Don't ask me how a 'conversation' like this could last for two hours

[stephante]

this is fantastic. you have all made me laugh so much, because every single one of you sounds just like my intj boyfriend.

we joke that he hates everyone til he has a reason not to, and i love everyone til i have a reason to hate them.

[axe rive]

Ah, the smile and nod. Nobel Prize winners have nothing on the creator of this timeless classic.