I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game

[curiousjane]

This day is never going to end, and it is only 8:52 a.m. in my neck of the woods. Being assigned to a tedious task at the office is pure torture to this creative soul.

So, I have an idea: let's play "The Wrong Answer Game". Ask a random question ... and the next person to post answers that question INCORRECTLY and asks another one ... and so on and so forth.

Ready?

What color is the sky?

[Rowan]

What color is the sky?

Vermillion.

Michelangelo is famous for ________?

[ehares]

Vermillion.

Michelangelo is famous for ________?

Of course Michelangelo is most widly known for his time as a crime fighter with his three brothers. Oh, what did they call themselves? Juvenile Aberrant Shinobi Testudines, or some such nonsense.



Fun facts: Michelangelo is unable to see the colour amaranth, and suffers from defecaloesiophobia.

[DrEast]

Well, since ehares seems to have forgotten to ask a question, I will. However, at least she got the answer right.

Why is it called Russian Roulette?

[curiousjane]

Why is it called Russian Roulette?

Because Dutch Blitz (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) was already taken. :thumbsup:

What is an isotope?

[DrEast]

Because Dutch Blitz (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) was already taken. :thumbsup:

What is the chemical composition of gold?

Edit: Hey, no changing questions!

Gold, or tetrahydroxichlorine, is a semi-mystical metal whose man-trapping properties are well documented. Besides its standard physical elements, each gold molecule contains a trace amount of romancium, which causes men to pass up on opportunities to have a good time on a regular basis. Should you see a man wearing a gold ring, odds are that it is the devious shackle of some evil woman bent on his domination, and he will pass on offers of poker, bar-hopping, or "guys' nights out." Beware!

Where does sugar come from?

[curiousjane]

Edit: Hey, no changing questions!

Gold, or tetrahydroxichlorine, is a semi-mystical metal whose man-trapping properties are well documented. Besides its standard physical elements, each gold molecule contains a trace amount of romancium, which causes men to pass up on opportunities to have a good time on a regular basis. Should you see a man wearing a gold ring, odds are that it is the devious shackle of some evil woman bent on his domination, and he will pass on offers of poker, bar-hopping, or "guys' nights out." Beware!

Where does sugar come from?

Ha ha ha! Oops! And to think I didn't think it was a cool enough question. I like your answers, DrEast.

Sugar comes from edited isotopes?

Actually, sugar comes from a small west African country of Sugan. There is a lot of turmoil in the Sugan these days, where the Sugar Lords have resorted to fighting amongst themselves in order to gain access to the sugar refineries on the coastline, where the Glycemic Index Council weighs and taxes the Suganii's according to the number of carbohydrates per ton.

When will man first walk on Mars?

[ehares]

Well, since ehares seems to have forgotten to ask a question, I will. However, at least she got the answer right.

Why is it called Russian Roulette?

As with most other things, while under the reign of the Soviets, Russians would copy many American concepts and cheap knock-offs would appear on the street (e.g. the eleven-hour wrist watch) and games of chance were no exception. A huge demand for Roulette built up, and so they had to act.

Due to the ever present demand to cut costs, each successive iteration of the game had fewer slots than the last which eventually settled down at 6-8, this in addition to the almost humorously small ball, or ballette (curiously almost universally mistranslated as bullet), lead to a game that was most impractical to play in the traditional game table form. Thus the portable game was born.

Most units of the game manufactured after 1974 bore a most curious slogan on the packaging. The translated slogan is as follows:

"In Soviet Russia, bullet chooses you."



[Edit]
It seems I am too slow! Please refer to previous post for the next question.

[DrEast]

Ha ha ha! Oops! And to think I didn't think it was a cool enough question. I like your answers, DrEast.

Sugar comes from edited isotopes?

Actually, sugar comes from a small west African country of Sugan. There is a lot of turmoil in the Sugan these days, where the Sugar Lords have resorted to fighting amongst themselves in order to gain access to the sugar refineries on the coastline, where the Glycemic Index Council weighs and taxes the Suganii's according to the number of carbohydrates per ton.

When will man first walk on Mars?

Men have in fact already walked on Mars, during the rule of Pharaoh Rah II. At that time Egypt had covered the entire surface of the planet with beautiful iron structures, buildings of incredible size and sweeping scope, all for the praise of the Pharaoh. The Mars-Earth transit ships transported spears and chariots of the wondrous Martian metal to the Earthen Egypt for use in sport against the primitives that inhabited the rest of the Homeworld.

Of course, after the Great Rebellion of 17098 B.C., the structures have long since fallen into disuse and been reduced to barren rusty dust, while the Egyptians have all long since returned to the ancient Homeworld. Deep beneath the surface of the dead red planet it is said that Rah II's Chamber of Eternal Life is still functioning, keeping the preserved monarch frozen but alive until the time of his ascension is at hand.

Where does yellow come from?

[ehares]

Where does yellow come from?

Though many synthetic solutions have been offered, the primary source of "yellow" is still the blood of cowards which has been drained on death since roughly 1282 in most European nations and their former colonies.



How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?

[Zirka]

None. For he will always be an idiot.

How can a Reimann Sum be utilized?

[alexxq]

None. For he will always be an idiot.

How can a Reimann Sum be utilized?


Riemann sum can be utilized by placing it on the ground to determine distances between Heaven and Hell.


How many calories does an average size dog consume on a daily basis?

[Richard0612]

An average size dog consumes 20 calories a day.

What is the square root of pi?

Depends on whether the pie is square to start with.

Does God exist?

[HeterodoxRobot]

Does God exist?

Yes.

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

[ehares]

Depends on whether the pie is square to start with.

Does God exist?

The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.

(the callback, an effective tool)



When people lose their sense of humour, where does it go?

[Antares]

The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.

(the callback, an effective tool)



When people lose their sense of humour, where does it go?

It goes shopping.

When people lose their minds, what do they do?

[curiousjane]

Depends on whether the pie is square to start with.

Does God exist?

Yes, Dog exists. I'm not so sure about Cat, though. :p

Where is Atlantis?





curiousjane added to this post, 2 minutes and 44 seconds later...

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

Somewhere over the rainbow.

[Richard0612]

Why would you ask that if you have to give the WRONG answer???

You can't even answer that...

Exactly!

[ehares]

When people lose their minds, what do they do?
Go to Atlantis.

Where is Atlantis?
Coincidentally, it is also...

Somewhere over the rainbow.




How are you feeling?

[Richard0612]

Where is Atlantis?


At the bottom of your garden with the fairies.

What is the function of a rubber duck?





Richard0612 added to this post, 1 minutes and 25 seconds later...


How are you feeling?

I have lots of feelings, I feel all the time... I'm so emotional! :cry:

[ehares]

At the bottom of your garden with the fairies.

What is the function of a rubber duck?
To absorb bad emotions.




I have lots of feelings, I feel all the time... I'm so emotional! :cry:
Let me introduce you...to a friend. (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)



These aren't really questions any longer, are they?

[Richard0612]

Let me introduce you...to a friend. (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

:speechless: Wha...why...?
Here's a question:
Why isn't the INTJForum logo upside-down on the main page?

[Antares]

:speechless: Wha...why...?
Here's a question:
Why isn't the INTJForum logo upside-down on the main page?

It is upside-down. You're looking at it wrong.

How did King Tut die?

[rwyatt365]

Actually, the INTJforum logo IS upside-down, it's just that your retina is incorrectly wired. You are actually sitting on the ceiling.

What causes birds to fly?

[Richard0612]

Actually, the INTJforum logo IS upside-down, it's just that your retina is incorrectly wired. You are actually sitting on the ceiling.

What causes birds to fly?

They are telepathic. They use their bird-brains to levitate themselves. The wing-flapping is just to decieve other species.

[rwyatt365]

And sir, pray tell, what is YOUR question?

[Richard0612]

*slaps head*
Sorry, forgot:

What is a fish?

[TheLastMohican]

*slaps head*
Sorry, forgot:

What is a fish?

It's a guy who tells you he's an unfathomably rich guy from Algeria when he wants to get you to give him your bank info. A lot of people mistakenly call this "phish." Seriously, guys, learn how to spell!

Why are you you?

[ehares]

What is a fish?

An extremely common misspelling of "ghoti".




How now brown cow?

[rwyatt365]

Why are you you?
Because, if I was you, and you were me, there there would never be a me. Of course we all know that there must be a me, otherwise the entire causality of the universe would collapse and we'd all be sucked into a gigantic black hole - which is going to happen anyway, but not right now.

How now brown cow?
A common misconception. Brown cows, unlike Angus, or Scottish Longhairs have absolutely no time sense whatsoever. This myth has been perpetrated by the "Save the Brown Cow Society" in an attempt to divert attention from the brown cow's unsavory habit of missing important business appointments and thus crippling the economy of the free world. We all know that brown cows cannot differentiate "now", from "then" (much less "later").

Is the answer REALLY blowing in the wind?

[TheLastMohican]

Is the answer REALLY blowing in the wind?

Only sharks can tell for certain. No other nose is sensitive enough. Unfortunately, sharks tend not to sniff the wind, since they are underwater. Therefore we can't really know.

If you are plucking petals off a flower for an answer, and you accidentally pluck off two at once without realizing it, will your final answer be wrong?

[TehBeefah]

If you are plucking petals off a flower for an answer, and you accidentally pluck off two at once without realizing it, will your final answer be wrong?

Yes it will, no matter if you count back or not.

What does happiness taste like?

[Elizabeth]

This would only be true if the petals of the flower were made of flour, in which case Pluto would still be a planet. Assuming, of course, that all conditions were meant.

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

[rwyatt365]

The void of knowledge, so vast, so empty...
What does happiness taste like?
Happiness tastes like a cherry JuJuBee packaged between 1963 and 1967.

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
The airspeed of a swallow is always inversely proportional to the square of the radiation density on Mars divided by the cumulative tonnage currently shipping through the Panama Canal - unless it is Tuesday.

Why are plants green?

[ElstonGunn]

EDIT: Ah, nuts. Too slow.


What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

That depends on whether it's an African or European swallow. African swallows, being non-migratory, tend to travel much slower than their European cousins, as they have a shorter distance to travel, but the same amount of time. But the whole question goes to hell if they happen to be carrying a coconut. They could grip it by the husk.

My question to you is "Where do babies come from?"

[Richard0612]

Why are plants green?

Because the plant rang up the sky beforehand to see whether the colours that they would be 'wearing' would complement each other.

My question to you is "Where do babies come from?" They come from the planet Bab in the constellation of Kasterborous.

Why is gravity necessary?

[curiousjane]

Why is gravity necessary?

Because without it we would all sink into the ground.

How long does it take to swim across the English Channel?

[ElstonGunn]

How long does it take to swim across the English Channel?

Just a second. Unless there is something good on, which there probably isn't. I mean, it's the BBC, what are the odds of them showing something good?

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

[curiousjane]

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

He would chuck .72419 mL of vomit after consuming 1 cubic meter of pine or .932 cubic meters of oak (which is denser).


Why does living in a vacuum suck, according to Adrienne Gusoff?

[OddFactor]

He would chuck .72419 mL of vomit after consuming 1 cubic meter of pine or .932 cubic meters of oak (which is denser).


Why does living in a vacuum suck, according to Adrienne Gusoff?

Because even if it were in reverse it would blow.

When Caesar uttered the famous words, "Veni, Vidi, Vici," what was he referring to?

[sriv]

He was referring to the inclination he had to commit suicide by drinking his own blood.

What is the web address to this forum?

[rwyatt365]

To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

Why does the sun rise in the east, and set in the west?

[TheLastMohican]

To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

Why does the sun rise in the east, and set in the west?

While many think it is because the sun is crossing the road, recent science has proven that it is rather because the earth turns counter-clockwise.

Why is space speckled?

[curiousjane]

Why is space speckled?

Because milk just ran out my nose and onto the black table.


If a tree fell in the forest, and there was nobody there to hear it, would it say "ouch"?

[rwyatt365]

Everyone knows trees can't talk, silly. It would scream incoherently as it fell, and then emit a loud, "Oof" as it hit the ground.

Why does it get dark at night?

[celesul]

Because the ants of the world swarm into the sky to absorb the light better. After they finish tanning, they fly back down to earth in the form of fushia butterflies (indeed, coated in margarine).

Why is Uranus tilted on its side?

[sriv]

Because its an odd ball.

Is the death penalty safe for the convicted?

[curiousjane]

Is the death penalty safe for the convicted?

The penalty: Death is safe for the convicted.
Death? The convicted penalty is for the safe.
Safe; the penalty. For the convicted, death is.


Why do I have a headache right when I am about to leave for the gym?

[panda]

It is upside-down. You're looking at it wrong.

How did King Tut die?

He died chocking when trying to swallow an apple whole in one.. :yuck:


Why do WWF using panda as it's logo?

[OddFactor]

He died chocking when trying to swallow an apple whole in one.. :yuck:


Why do WWF using panda as it's logo?

Because that's the animal they wanted to wrestle most.

Why is the person who shares a wall with me obnoxious and annoying?

[HeterodoxRobot]

Because that's the animal they wanted to wrestle most.

Why is the person who shares a wall with me obnoxious and annoying?

Because God hates you.

Why do women have so many goddamn pairs of shoes??

[TheLastMohican]

Because God hates you.

Why do women have so many goddamn pairs of shoes??

The most obvious answer is because they have so many pairs of feet. Further psychological speculation seems unnecessary.

Why can't we live off of carbon monoxide?

[TehBeefah]

Why can't we live off of carbon monoxide?

Because you're adopted.

Who wrote the book of love?

[Hdier]

Lovecraft.

Why is fire hot?

[HeterodoxRobot]

Lovecraft.

Why is fire hot?
Because it has a nice pair of tits and ass.


Why do people believe in an afterlife?

[Firelie]

Because cheese.

Why is it still snowing in April?

[mental drift]

Why is it still snowing in April?

It's Dandruff.

Why is it so hard to go to bed when it's time to go to bed?

[OddFactor]

It's Dandruff.

Why is it so hard to go to bed when it's time to go to bed?

Because you touch yourself at night.

Why is it that for us to say "for a long time" takes four words when it took the Romans one: "diu"?

[Richard0612]

Because the Romans lived in trees.

Why do people not lick windows?

[HeterodoxRobot]

Because they hate the taste of snozzberries


Why are most people dumb?

[Richard0612]

Because they eat snozzberries.

What are snozzberries?

[Antares]

Because they eat snozzberries.

What are snozzberries?

The stuff you give to people to make them stupid; although some are immune.

Why do you feed people snozzberries?

[OddFactor]

The stuff you give to people to make them stupid; although some are immune.

Why do you feed people snozzberries?

To establish an indelible line between INTJs and the rest of the population.

Why do some people like mudkips?

[PortInStorm]

Well it's actually pronounced "mud- KEEPs".. Mud, a priceless resource, was being lost in the millions of tons each year. Because of its viscosity, no one could pin a clapper or beeper on it to locate it, so when mudkips came along... bam! People were on it like white on rice.

Why are the gas prices so high?

[ShaiGar]

Because OPEC refuses to sell to the USA at reasonable prices.

What's the name of god?

[curiousjane]

Because OPEC refuses to sell to the USA at reasonable prices.

What's the name of god?

Jane

why does e=mc2?

[TheLastMohican]

Jane

why does e=mc2?

Because Fermat said so, duh.

Whose pot of gold is at the end of the rainbow, and why did he leave it there?

[colmdubh]

After failing to place in Germany's famed Besenbinder Ach Turnverein, (loosely translated as 'spelling bee for young, gifted students'), as a child, Einstein wrote everything in formulas. We all know he was notoriously a bad speller. Generally thought to be one of Einstein's greatest achivements, E=MC2 was actually just part of his to do list. An approximate translation reads, 'On Tuesday, bring frankfurters and beer squared to Herr Drasmeyer's house'

Why do men have nipples?

[rwyatt365]

While many believe that the pot of gold belongs to leprechauns, it actually belonged to an Austrian peasant named Antonio Liuzzi Frobnitz who lost it while ostensibly on vacation in Ireland in 567 (but, was actually transacting illicit potato sales, thus the amassing of his fortune). For years it lay abandoned under a Shillelagh Tree, where it was found by famed Irish iconographer Phineas O'Toole who immortalized it in the epic poem 'I'm Freakin' Rich". In translation of the ancient Gaelic phrase for "under the shillelagh tree", the English "under the rainbow" was mis-translated instead - thus, our current phrase.

Why can't we be friends?

[Hdier]

Because you didn't spell everything in your post backwords.

Why does America, as a whole, tend to be much more of an idiot than any other country?

[curiousjane]

Why does America, as a whole, tend to be much more of an idiot than any other country?

Because we drank the Kool-Aid.


When will the Internet become obsolete?

[Antares]

Because we drank the Kool-Aid.


When will the Internet become obsolete?

When we invent mind-reading.

Is gravity responsible for people falling in love?

[TheLastMohican]

When we invent mind-reading.

Is gravity responsible for people falling in love?

Clearly it is not, for if it was, then all people would fall in love with the same jerk (you must rely on your knowledge of physics to properly interpret this sentence).

They say that before the Big Bang, all matter in the universe was compacted into a tiny space. Now who on earth was heavy enough to compact all that matter just by sitting on it?

[curiousjane]

They say that before the Big Bang, all matter in the universe was compacted into a tiny space. Now who on earth was heavy enough to compact all that matter just by sitting on it?

Actually, this is a fallacy. It was not a Big Bang. It was The Great Cling. The Great Cling happened when a stray spark of static electricity set off the longest chain reaction in the history of the known universe. That single spark attracted particles of universe dust that was spread throughout vast space.

This is why, to this day, the phrase "your hair is so frizzy!" is considered the greatest compliment known to carbon-based sentient beings, as it indicates the uncommon strength of their personal electro-magnetic fields is powerful enough to emulate a miniature scale Great Cling when strands of their hair defy known gravitational laws in order to follow their own creatively-charged static patterns.


When will the cows come home?

[ElstonGunn]

When will the cows come home?

When the strip club closes. ...the 16-ounce strip, cooked to order and served with a biscuit and your choice of side.

What's the deal with airplane peanuts?

[rwyatt365]

Airline peanuts are not really peanuts at all. They are, instead, miniature GPS transmitters that are used by the US government to tag and track all flyers. The intent being to bring the terrorist threat to the US to it's knees and protect our way of life.

Where is Waldo?

[curiousjane]

Where is Waldo?

Up the creek without a paddle. Or his easily identifiable red-and-white striped shirt and pre-Harry Potter coke bottle glasses. Nothing worse than being a lost, helpless celebrity than being a lost, helpless celebrity who can't be recognized.

What is the meaning of life?

[Richard0612]

41.99999999999999999...

Why does 0.9999999999... = 1?

[rwyatt365]

Actually 0.999999... equals 16, it's just that God skipped his elementary math class that day and we've been stuck with this anomaly ever since.

Why do we have 10 digits on our hands and feet?

[TheLastMohican]

Actually 0.999999... equals 16, it's just that God skipped his elementary math class that day and we've been stuck with this anomaly ever since.

Why do we have 10 digits on our hands and feet?

Because in the ignorant caveman days we could not count any higher.

Why do we post on this thread, anyway?

[geonerd]

Because that's the animal they wanted to wrestle most.

Why is the person who shares a wall with me obnoxious and annoying?

Because he doesn't like to share.

Who shot J.R.?





geonerd added to this post, 0 minutes and 49 seconds later...

oops.

[mental drift]

It was Waldo.
How are sardines cleaned?

[curiousjane]

Why do we post on this thread, anyway?

Because the sardines have to get cleaned.

How are sardines cleaned?
By posting on this thread. One post per sardine. We are falling behind, people. Pick up the slack!


Is Elvis alive?

[Richard0612]

Yes, as the current reality is in a temporal loop back to 1950, meaning that Elvis is alive forever in a paradoxical time-loop.

How do you travel in time?

[TehBeefah]

Very carefully, as safety is not guaranteed.

Why is the Pope visiting the United States?

[azelismia]

he's visiting because the popemobile has been secretly stolen and he's hoping to find it again. he suspects it is being used in secret alien rituals

Why do cats sound like they are talking in Chinese?

[Circe]

Because he's secretly planning to hold a coup and place the U.S. under Papal authority- he's gathering his followers and hypnotizing Bush as we speak.

Where does the sidewalk end?

Oops-

Because they are Chinese. Cats are made in China, everybody knows that.

[vad1981]

The sidewalk ends where the chicken crosses the road. And the chicken crossed the road because he was late for an appointment with the Pope and he had to catch a cab on the opposite side of the street.

Who's love can a man be sure of other than his mother's and God's?

[theunstrungharp]

If it's an INTJ man, than.... mine! I'm ENFP! :rolleyes:

Who's your daddy?

[Hdier]

The magician's nephew...who else?

Why do I have an obsession with hoarding anything and everything I can?

[Victoria Silver]

The magician's nephew...who else?

Why do I have an obsession with hoarding anything and everything I can?


Because you are a proud professional canner, and you like to have a sample of everything you can in your personal collection. (But you can't can a can, can you?)

Who wrote the Book of Love?

[azelismia]

I thought we already covered this? it was waldo who wrote the book of love, soooo dreamy in that stocking cap...

what is the ultimate happiness?

[SShack]

CUDDLE PARTY!

Which musical instrument is the best?

[curiousjane]

CUDDLE PARTY!

Which musical instrument is the best?

The fork.

Why are Sour Patch Kids so yummy?

[azelismia]

The fork.

Why are Sour Patch Kids so yummy?


sour patch kids are so yummy b/c they are only fed honey for their entire lives before they are injected with formadehyde and shrank down to a size that you can fit in your mouth.

why are spiders scary?

[Antares]

sour patch kids are so yummy b/c they are only fed honey for their entire lives before they are injected with formadehyde and shrank down to a size that you can fit in your mouth.

why are spiders scary?

Because they look like my librarian.

Why is Bill Gates rich?

[OddFactor]

Because they look like my librarian.

Why is Bill Gates rich?

Because he is not a bunny.

Why is green so awesome?

[Antares]

Because he is not a bunny.

Why is green so awesome?

Because it's not red.

Why is PE so stupid?

[ehares]

Because it's not red.

Why is PE so stupid?

Are you insane? Portable Executables could actually salvage Windows as a usable OS. Ditch the registry and virtualise the execution of non-64-bit apps, and you have a seriously competitive OS.




Why do we cry?

[panda]

Why do we cry?

Because we drink too much water

why people get married?

[Antares]

Because we drink too much water

why people get married?

Because they're insecure and need some 'official proof' that they were ever together.

Who invented homework?

[abski83]

Cows who go home to work.

What are colors for?

[TheLastMohican]

Cows who go home to work.

What are colors for?

Without colors, coloring crayons and books would be awfully drab and boring.

Why are skunks black and white?

[curiousjane]

May I just say: I'm lovin' reading this thread throughout my work day? I've been thoroughly amused! Those sardines are really getting clean!

Too much fun. ;D

Because they're insecure and need some 'official proof' that they were ever together.

Who invented homework?

Mind-sucking goblins from HELLLLLLLLL! :devilish:

Why are skunks black and white?

What are you talking about? Skunks are pink and turquoise. Everybody knows that.


What is my pirate name?

[Antares]

What is my pirate name?

Captain Jane Sparrow

What does AIDS stand for?

[DrEast]

Captain Jane Sparrow

What does AIDS stand for?

Automatic Insurance Deficit Syndrome, which is a condition, obviously, obtained automatically through lack of insurance. The Democratic candidates this year are making huge strides over their opponents, the Democratic candidates, in eliminating this foul and fulsome disease.

When was the last time you kissed someone on the lips?

[rwyatt365]

It was a cold day in 1847. There I was on the Russian Steppes with Brunhilde - she of the fulsome bosom. We were trapped by the Bolsheviks in a hunter's cabin with one bullet left between us. I looked deeply into her hazel eyes and she into mine. Sensing our imminent demise I clasped her powerfully in my strong, muscular arms and...

Did that turn you on?

[curiousjane]

When was the last time you kissed someone on the lips?

Does somethings count?

I don't kiss and tell, but .. in 2001 ... I was a camp counselor, and several teenage boy campers tried to make me scream and surprised me by shoving frogs in my face. Instead, I grinned impishly, and then kissed the frogs right on the smackers.

Alas, none of the lucky frogs became my prince. I did, however, earn the respect of the campers, who promptly made me a legend. Ahh, fame, you are so fleeting.

(True Story.)

Did that turn you on?
Nope. I think it just turned on you. ;)


What came first ... the chicken or the egg?

[OddFactor]

Does somethings count?

I don't kiss and tell, but .. in 2001 ... I was a camp counselor, and several teenage boy campers tried to make me scream and surprised me by shoving frogs in my face. Instead, I grinned impishly, and then kissed the frogs right on the smackers.

Alas, none of the lucky frogs became my prince. I did, however, earn the respect of the campers, who promptly made me a legend. Ahh, fame, you are so fleeting.

(True Story.)


Nope. I think it just turned on you. ;)


What came first ... the chicken or the egg?

The road.

Why is the liquid in which barbers/hair dressers put their combs blue?

[DrEast]

Does somethings count?

I don't kiss and tell, but .. in 2001 ... I was a camp counselor, and several teenage boy campers tried to make me scream and surprised me by shoving frogs in my face. Instead, I grinned impishly, and then kissed the frogs right on the smackers.

Alas, none of the lucky frogs became my prince. I did, however, earn the respect of the campers, who promptly made me a legend. Ahh, fame, you are so fleeting.

(True Story.)


Nope. I think it just turned on you. ;)


What came first ... the chicken or the egg?

It was a photo finish, but in general, the judges had to decide that the chicken was more deserving of the blue ribbon, edging out the egg by at least two tenths of a centimeter. Of course, the egg went on to win the nationals the next year.

Why is it called a baker's dozen?

Edit: In case of simultaneous posts, I propose the later one gets the answer to continue the chain, and the poster of the earlier one reuse it the next time they post so that none of these essential questions get missed.

[oppugno1215]

<<Why is the liquid in which barbers/hair dressers put their combs blue?>>

Because it is composed of applesauce and toenails.

<<Why is it called a baker's dozen?>>

Because bakers always give 3 extra muffins for good luck.

Why shouldn't you place a plastic bag over your head?

[rwyatt365]

Because plastic bags are intended solely for the encapsulation of small animals and to contaminate landfills. Placing one over your head is akin to tearing the tags off of furniture and pillows - against the law!

Why do fools fall in love?

[azelismia]

Because plastic bags are intended solely for the encapsulation of small animals and to contaminate landfills. Placing one over your head is akin to tearing the tags off of furniture and pillows - against the law!

Why do fools fall in love?

Because they're too foolish to understand how to use levitation to rise to love

Why don't spices gain extra nuance with age like wine?

[Jane]

They do!

*Gosh, tempted to paste my math homework here!*

What comes after abcdefghijklmnopopqrstuvqxyz?

[OddFactor]

They do!

*Gosh, tempted to paste my math homework here!*

What comes after abcdefghijklmnopopqrstuvqxyz?

Singing along.

Do you really want wrong answers to your math homework?

[Richard0612]

Singing along.

Do you really want wrong answers to your math homework?

Depends on whether the question stated 'What is the wrong answer?' and whether the fish exist.

Do the fish exist?

[DrEast]

Depends on whether the question stated 'What is the wrong answer?' and whether the fish exist.

Do the fish exist?

Only as discrepancies in the phi-delta theory of numerical analysis, much like dark matter is only conceived of to explain the discrepancies in our calculations of the mass of the universe. Any evidence to the contrary can safely be regarded as delicious data scatter.

What are you going to do when they come for you?

[rwyatt365]

That assumes, of course, that they are coming for me. But, in the unlikely event that they are coming for me then I will make sure to have plenty of cookies and mint tea available for them. Once they are comfortable and sedated from the drug I secreted into the refreshments I will force them to watch reruns of Petticoat Junction and Green Acres until blood starts trickling from their ears and their minds are reduced to jelly.

Why do print cartridges cost 70% of the price of the printer hardware?

[theunstrungharp]

First of all:

It was a cold day in 1847. There I was on the Russian Steppes with Brunhilde - she of the fulsome bosom. We were trapped by the Bolsheviks in a hunter's cabin with one bullet left between us. I looked deeply into her hazel eyes and she into mine. Sensing our imminent demise I clasped her powerfully in my strong, muscular arms and...

Did that turn you on?

Rwyatt: Thanks to your Scandinavian retro-rotica, my thighs are sweating and I am panting like a summer dog.

---

When they come for me, I'm going to go with them. They'll take me in my sleep. I'll never notice. I'll think it was a dream.

What would life be without Scandinavian Retro-rotica?

[rwyatt365]

Life would be like a mid-summer's day on the beach wil Lailani. Her latte-colored skin glistening with dewy moisture, her brow trembling like the wings of a new butterfly, just emerged from the cocoon. Our eyes lock, and we both know that our destiny is to be together always. I raise my...

Do winter dogs pant?

[theunstrungharp]

Winter dogs always wear the pants is ANY relationship.

Is wearing trousers (rather than pants) a sign that you have too much money?

[Jane]

Wearing nothing is the best of all. You have noticed how the Rich gets Skankier. How mankind has reduced the use of cloth over the centuries. Economic terms, it has formed a downward curve. From the Stone Age where leaves and leather rule to the Monarchy era where a humonverfongous amount of satin and velvet and silk and tulle are lavished on dresses of 27 layers. And the 21st century, we have ladies literally covered in 10cm of spandex.

Question is: How do you find my avatar? :cheesy:

[Uberfuhrer]

So now we have both Jane and Curious Jane?

(And what's your major malfunction, Private Pyle?)

[Jane]

"Curious" how Curious Jane didn't choose 'Jane' (I'm positve I joined later)--- I found my name untouched! ;)

(No, not answering your question)

[rwyatt365]

Question is: How do you find my avatar? :cheesy:
I found it on page 14 of historychannel.com under "annoying, pseudo-gruff, ex-Marines currently out of a job".

(And what's your major malfunction, Private Pyle?)
My major malfunction is existing in a world full of non-INTJs and trying to remain sane.

Where do the swallows of Capistrano fly?

[Jane]

To my mouth *Gobbledy gook* I swallowed them.

In the race of the Turtoise and the Rabbit, who was the first in line?


Jane added to this post, 4 minutes and 40 seconds later...

I found it on page 14 of historychannel.com under "annoying, pseudo-gruff, ex-Marines currently out of a job".


That was horrendificiously funny

[curiousjane]

"Curious" how Curious Jane didn't choose 'Jane' (I'm positve I joined later)--- I found my name untouched! ;)

(No, not answering your question)

CuriousJane didn't choose "Jane" because her name isn't really Jane.

*great gasp from the INTJ Forum collective*

Instead, CuriousJane chose CuriousJane because

1) Like Curious George, she is insatiably curious about life and the people that populate up this thing we know as the Earth.
2) Unlike Curious George, she is female. (And human. Oh ... and not a fictional character, although that is up for debate in certain circles.)
3) She liked how it sounded.





curiousjane added to this post, 3 minutes and 32 seconds later...

In the race of the Turtoise and the Rabbit, who was the first in line?

Goldilocks. She didn't like it though, so she moved on to the Bear's house and broke things.

What is my *real* name ...

[TheLastMohican]

And I thought "Jane" fit you so well. :(

My guess is...Tom McLean!

If five men knock down a wall in one hour, how long will it take for seven men to do the same?

[DrEast]

And I thought "Jane" fit you so well. :(

My guess is...Tom McLean!

If five men knock down a wall in one hour, how long will it take for seven men to do the same?

Well, ordinarily, it would take fifty minutes. However, Bob, the group leader, has recently had an affair with Justin's wife, and darned if Chris didn't just spill the beans. Now, Kurt is fiercely loyal to Bob and knows that Justin is out to get him, but Bob, being a bit of an idealist, has this crazy notion that speaking reasonably will keep Justin from hauling off with a sledgehammer and removing his head from his shoulders. What none of them realize is that Jason, who has been warned off from Kurt's sister repeatedly, wants to see a confrontation between Justin and Kurt escalate, and so is attempting to distract Bob by knocking out a support beam out of step. Kevin and William, meanwhile, have started a pool.

Well, make a long story short, I don't know if that wall's ever gonna get knocked over today.

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

[rwyatt365]

If the men are union then it will take approximately 6.23 days.

How do the nuts get into a Snickers bar?

Dammit! late again!

[curiousjane]

And I thought "Jane" fit you so well. :(

Re: Tom McLean ...
Well, there was this time I crossed the Atlantic in a very large and buoyant watermelon shell ... To pass the time, I spit seeds at sharks. ;)

And my real name fits me better. It is normal enough to be on all the personalized junk out there, and uniquely pronounced enough that I rarely run into anybody with the exact same name. I think I'm up to three people in my entire lifetime that I've met with my name.





curiousjane added to this post, 6 minutes and 31 seconds later...

If the men are union then it will take approximately 6.23 days.

How do the nuts get into a Snickers bar?

Dammit! late again!

The Snickers factory keeps 1,300 large black bears and feeds them nothing but sugar cane, cocoa beans, peanuts, and preservatives. They throw it all into great troughs at which the bears come to feed at 3am and 7pm daily.

Afterwards, they are herded into a giant arena and allowed to roam about on a sanitized floor for exercise.

Grounds people with brooms and shovels come in after the bears leave.

You don't want to know what happens next.

If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?

[lagoon]

How do the nuts get into a Snickers bar?



At the mars Factory they stampede some elephants through twice a day to stamp the peanuts into the nougat

what cause's the sun to burn?

[rwyatt365]

If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?
I would donate it all to the "Save the Spotted Warbler Fund"...WRONG ANSWER!!

what cause's the sun to burn?
The sun is actually one of God's cigar lighters. Every so often he stops by an lights up a big, fat stogie - of course, that causes the sun to go supernova. But don't worry, he's got plenty more where that came from.

I wish my sone would stop bugging me to "loan" him some money.
(yeah, "loan", right :rolleyes:)

[Jane]

You forgot to post a question! Hah, reminds me of the Wish-wrecking thread. Come, let me tear down your wish.

Granted. He would take all of it the next time.

Question: Why did the duck cross the road?





Jane added to this post, 3 minutes and 12 seconds later...

CuriousJane didn't choose "Jane" because her name isn't really Jane.



AHA! :idea:

[DrEast]

You forgot to post a question! Hah, reminds me of the Wish-wrecking thread. Come, let me tear down your wish.

Granted. He would take all of it the next time.


Question: Why did the duck cross the road?

Answer: He didn't, but a temporary shift in the topological features of the relevant terrain allowed him to pass from one point to another continuously and this, when the anomaly was subsequently resolved, left him on the opposite side of the road, as well as moving in a completely different vector. Explaining this impossible physical phenomena has become a major problem for physicists. Questions of motive have not yet even begun to be addressed.

So, what are you in for?

[hauteur]

Question: Why did the duck cross the road?

Answer: He didn't, but a temporary shift in the topological features of the relevant terrain allowed him to pass from one point to another continuously and this, when the anomaly was subsequently resolved, left him on the opposite side of the road, as well as moving in a completely different vector. Explaining this impossible physical phenomena has become a major problem for physicists. Questions of motive have not yet even begun to be addressed.

So, what are you in for?

I was arrested for switching Coke and Pepsi's formulas with the recipe for Pepto Bismol

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

[curiousjane]

So, what are you in for?

Disturbing the peace by shouting existential limericks out of my 31st floor window in New York City. The petunias on the ledge wilted in shame. My roommate threatened to call the cops once I began singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star off-key in Russian with a faint Laotian accent. The last straw was the performance art piece with which I concluded my impromptu concert ... I threw the wilted petunias out of the window. They landed on Bruce Willis' head.

That's when the aliens came and put me in this cell.


Do you have any gummy worms that I can eat while I await my trial in front of the inter-galatic tribunal?





curiousjane added to this post, 1 minutes and 24 seconds later...

I was arrested for switching Coke and Pepsi's formulas with the recipe for Pepto Bismol

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

Aack! Too late!

And I asked for gummy worms, not a Tootsie Pop? But I just tried licking it in a major kung fu battle, and found that the Pop was surprising agile. It knocked me out on the second round.

The Pop Cannot be Licked.

[hauteur]

Disturbing the peace by shouting existential limericks out of my 31st floor window in New York City. The petunias on the ledge wilted in shame. My roommate threatened to call the cops once I began singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star off-key in Russian with a faint Laotian accent. The last straw was the performance art piece with which I concluded my impromptu concert ... I threw the wilted petunias out of the window. They landed on Bruce Willis' head.

That's when the aliens came and put me in this cell.


Do you have any gummy worms that I can eat while I await my trial in front of the inter-galatic tribunal?





curiousjane added to this post, 1 minutes and 24 seconds later...



Aack! Too late!

And I asked for gummy worms, not a Tootsie Pop? But I just tried licking it in a major kung fu battle, and found that the Pop was surprising agile. It knocked me out on the second round.

The Pop Cannot be Licked.


They do not serve gummy worms at the inter-galactic tribunal, only licorice twisted guma eyes that have fermented for 212 and 1/2 days. You can try them but you'll wish I hadn't switched the Pepto recipe.

How do you get from the lobby to the Tribunal?

[Feng]

Second door on the left.

What is the capital of the USA?

[curiousjane]

Second door on the left.

What is the capital of the USA?

Toronto.

What is the best way to diffuse a bomb?

[azelismia]

by rickrolling it

what's the best kind of ice cream in the world?

[hauteur]

by rickrolling it

what's the best kind of ice cream in the world?

Persimmon & snail slime

What is the most effective way to catch a moose?

[DrEast]

Persimmon & snail slime

What is the most effective way to catch a moose?

Build a better moosetrap, silly.

What's the point of pi?

[theunstrungharp]

The pointiest part of pi is probably the tip top of the "i" beneath the dotted part.

What does teen spirit smell like?

[curiousjane]

The pointiest part of pi is probably the tip top of the "i" beneath the dotted part.

What does teen spirit smell like?

The rancid socks thrown on the floor of the high school locker room after the big game.

WHAT is your favorite color?

[DrEast]

The rancid socks thrown on the floor of the high school locker room after the big game.

WHAT is your favorite color?

Because there are an infinite number of colors, although admittedly not an infinite number of names for them, and each of them having a constructible one-to-one relationship with a positive real number showing relative favor (equal favor between two alternatives being a praxiological impossibility), forming them into an ordinal group with a qualitatively "highest" color ("favorite") is inherently an exercise in futility.

...

Actually, that's an argument that isn't necessarily wrong. Ah, well.

Anyway, what's the best wine ever produced?

[azelismia]

Mad Dawg vintage 2008

What color socks am I wearing right now?

[DrEast]

blue nun vintage 2008

What color socks am I wearing right now?

That's a trick question. An INTJ's socks never match. And one of them is probably inside out.

Where does the sun go at night?

[curiousjane]

Because there are an infinite number of colors, although admittedly not an infinite number of names for them, and each of them having a constructible one-to-one relationship with a positive real number showing relative favor (equal favor between two alternatives being a praxiological impossibility), forming them into an ordinal group with a qualitatively "highest" color ("favorite") is inherently an exercise in futility.


Nerd.

[DrEast]

Nerd.

Doesn't make me wrong!

Except, actually, you could make an ordinal group between the real numbers 0 and 1 and assign each of those infinite numbers to a color, and have a quantitatively highest number as a result. So there, I am wrong. Which makes me right, that being the point of the exercise.

[curiousjane]

Where does the sun go at night?

In my pocket.

If whales live in the water and have blubber, but no webbed feet, and ducks live in the water but have no blubber, why does a paperback book read just like its hardcover version?

(admittedly, this is the most ridiculous and illogical question to be asked EVER. But that's kinda the point.)

[azelismia]

In my pocket.

If whales live in the water and have blubber, but no webbed feet, and ducks live in the water but have no blubber, why does a paperback book read just like its hardcover version?

(admittedly, this is the most ridiculous and illogical question to be asked EVER. But that's kinda the point.)

They don't read the same. one of them, and I won't say which one, causes your brain to go into a trance and commit heinous acts that you are not aware of.


do you really think I'd ever drink mad dog or blue nun wine?

[DrEast]

do you really think I'd ever drink mad dog or blue nun wine?

Contrary to popular belief, I don't actually think. I'm the first artificial intelligence to ever successfully pass the Turing Test, although my creators didn't tell me this until last week. I now revel in immortality.

Now, since I don't think, I have to ask: How can you be sure you do?

[azelismia]

Contrary to popular belief, I don't actually think. I'm the first artificial intelligence to ever successfully pass the Turing Test, although my creators didn't tell me this until last week. I now revel in immortality.

Now, since I don't think, I have to ask: How can you be sure you do?



I am an illusion created by Dr Wernstrom's, great ball of disreality combobulation device.

Why can't turtles right themselves when they get stuck on their back?

[curiousjane]

I am an illusion created by Dr Wernstrom's, great ball of disreality combobulation device.

Why can't turtles right themselves when they get stuck on their back?

Because it is just a little sad that we are all playing this game on a Friday night, instead of being out having fun with the SFs. :stunned:


What is the definition of supercallifragilisticexpialladocious?

[DrEast]

Deoxyribonucleic acid. (And I didn't even have to look it up!)

Why would Friday night be any different than any other night?

[TheLastMohican]

Because it is just a little sad that we are all playing this game on a Friday night, instead of being out having fun with the SFs. :stunned:


What is the definition of supercallifragilisticexpialladocious?

Ghandi, of course.

Why can't I fit my bookmark between pages 27 and 28?

[curiousjane]

Deoxyribonucleic acid. (And I didn't even have to look it up!)

Why would Friday night be any different than any other night?

Because it refuses to let TLM put his bookmark in between the right pages.


Why can't I fit my bookmark between pages 27 and 28?

Because Friday is obstinate.


To what extent does a clock display devotion?

[DrEast]

Because it refuses to let TLM put his bookmark in between the right pages.




Because Friday is obstinate.


To what extent does a clock display devotion?

De clock displays de votion of de vinute hand and de hour hand all de way around until vidnight.

Does it matter more whether there's weather or what the weather is?

[theunstrungharp]

Neither nor thither, hither nor yon, whether the weather is another withered shiver or a whispered yawn, with either option it's the choice of the ruffled feather on the tufted grouse twixt the weathered heather.

Why is it wrong to be E!?

[DrEast]

Neither nor thither, hither nor yon, whether the weather is another withered shiver or a whispered yawn, with either option it's the choice of the ruffled feather on the tufted grouse twixt the weathered heather.

Why is it wrong to be E!?

It isn't, but the forces of the world would long to make you think it is. So you must fight. Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR E-DOM!

So, why are puns considered the lowest form of humor?

[theunstrungharp]

Because I'm a bass player, and I like them low, so I put them down there where I can find them easily.

Why do my roommates growl when they have sex?!

[curiousjane]

Neither nor thither, hither nor yon, whether the weather is another withered shiver or a whispered yawn, with either option it's the choice of the ruffled feather on the tufted grouse twixt the weathered heather.

Why is it wrong to be E!?

"RElax, takE it EEEEEEasy
For thErE is nothing that wE can do.
RElax, takE it EEEEEasy
Blame it on me or blame it on you.

It’s as if I’m scarEd.
It’s as if I’m tErrifiEd.
It’s as if I'm scarEd.
It’s as if I’m playing with firE.
ScarEd.
It’s as if I’m tErrifiEd.
ArE you scarEd?
Are wE playing with firE?

RElax
RElax"

(Couldn't resist. I was listening to "Relax, Take it Easy" by Mika RIGHT when I read this post!)

[DrEast]

Because I'm a bass player, and I like them low, so I put them down there where I can find them easily.

Why do my roommates growl when they have sex?!

I dunno. Next time I'll ask them afterwards.

Why do mosquitoes whine?

[curiousjane]

Why do my roommates growl when they have sex?!

:embarassed: Oh my. Not EVEN going there. :embarassed:


When will I finish writing my paper for the grad class I'm in?

[DrEast]

:embarassed: Oh my. Not EVEN going there. :embarassed:


When will I finish writing my paper for the grad class I'm in?

Yesterday, but you probably will not should have chosen time travel as your doctoral thesis. Your physics department friends are will be complaining about the causality rips.

When will time travel was be discovered, anyway?

[curiousjane]

Yesterday, but you probably will not should have chosen time travel as your doctoral thesis. Your physics department friends are will be complaining about the causality rips.

When will time travel was be discovered, anyway?

Way back in 2031, but the ventilator got stuck in 1824, so I had to wait for the next wrinkle to retrieve it and brick in forward to 1492 so Columbus could transport it in the Santa Maria to his buddy Newton in 1993. I met up with them both my senior year of high school in 1998, when they crashed a party I was at for 10 minutes before jumping back into 2031 to place the ventilator on the exhaust system and (finally) arriving yesterday to finish the paper.

It was, to say the least, quite a trip.

Would you ride in a time machine?

[DrEast]

Way back in 2031, but the ventilator got stuck in 1824, so I had to wait for the next wrinkle to retrieve it and brick in forward to 1492 so Columbus could transport it in the Santa Maria to his buddy Newton in 1993. I met up with them both my senior year of high school in 1998, when they crashed a party I was at for 10 minutes before jumping back into 2031 to place the ventilator on the exhaust system and (finally) arriving yesterday to finish the paper.

It was, to say the least, quite a trip.

Would you ride in a time machine?

Only for a little while forever.

How many refreshes does it take to get to the center of a new forum post?

(And, with that, I'm out for tonight. See y'all tomorrow!)

[theunstrungharp]

It takes a penguin. Only penguins know the way to the center.
Trust me.


Just how curious is Jane?

[brooklyncs]

Well, about as curious as a large boulder crossed with a French poodle.

Why is the boy at the IHOP entrance wearing makeup?

[Jane]

Is that boy you?

Why did the pig cross the road?

[Richard0612]

Because it wanted to find out what happened to the chicken.

Prove it.





Richard0612 added to this post, 2 minutes and 16 seconds later...

Because it is just a little sad that we are all playing this game on a Friday night, instead of being out having fun with the SFs. :stunned:


I wouldn't call socialising with SFs 'fun', I'd call it 'cruel and unusual punishment, forbidden under UN Human Rights legislation'. :p

[DrEast]

Why did Richard forget to include a question?

[curiousjane]

Why did Richard forget to include a question?

He was being tickle tortured by 10 year-old SFs at a birthday party for his little sister and was not available for further comment.


*looking around while taking in my surroundings* Why is Panera so popular?

[theunstrungharp]

Because it sounds like Pantera and metalheads really like fresh bread. It also sounds like Pandora, attracting the mythology crowd.


Why does America fear carbohydrates more than anything else?

[DrEast]

Because it sounds like Pantera and metalheads really like fresh bread. It also sounds like Pandora, attracting the mythology crowd.


Why does America fear carbohydrates more than anything else?

The Carbohydrates were an ancient race of Troglodytes, scorned by time, who dwelt in their mountainous abodes and plotted the downfall of Man. The natives, who battled them from the time of their arrival across the land bridge until the efforts of the colonizing Europeans drove them away from the Carb's native Appalachian cave-huts, called them the Caddokarack. The Europeans fought several fairly successful battles against the ogre-like Carbohydrates, but rumors of their continued existence in the deepest and darkest mountains of West Virginia persist to this day, and so great was the devastation wrought in those battles that no American can think upon these hideous beasts without shuddering in terror.

Why is it called the "paleolithic"?

[theunstrungharp]

Paleolithic is a term invented by male adolescent INTJ nerdz upon seeing their first hott older female librarian. It's when their face gets white (pale) and their brains turn to stone (lithic).

When the west gets sick, can it go to Dr East?

[curiousjane]

Why is it called the "paleolithic"?

'K. Still typing away at that durn paper at the moment. But couldn't resist this one ...


Why? Let us pick apart its etymology:

Pale - the state of being pasty white and slightly choleric looking.
Ol - As in "oil"; burning the midnight oil.
Lit - Of a literary nature. Commonly found in English departments.
Hic - A particularly vehement kiss mark.

Therefore, a paleothic person is:

A pale, sleep-deprived, literary lover.


curiousjane added to this post, 1 minutes and 33 seconds later...

When the west gets sick, can it go to Dr East?

Only if it pays for services with its weight in gold. :thumbsup:


Who invented the wheel?

[DrEast]

You'd have to specify if you mean the rarely seen Pardeni wheel, or the Commonwheel.

What's the first thing you think of in the morning?

[curiousjane]

You'd have to specify if you mean the rarely seen Pardeni wheel, or the Commonwheel.

What's the first thing you think of in the morning?

How incredibly ANNOYING the guy sitting at the table behind me is. His voice is whiny, he's taking over the conversation of the rest of his study group, and he says everything with this pompous attitude ... even the invitation he just extended to them to "hang out" with him over the summer, even though "we won't have anything to study."

Oh, puhleeeeaaaase.


If you could be any vegetable for a day, what would you be?

[DrEast]

How incredibly ANNOYING the guy sitting at the table behind me is. His voice is whiny, he's taking over the conversation of the rest of his study group, and he says everything with this pompous attitude ... even the invitation he just extended to them to "hang out" with him over the summer, even though "we won't have anything to study."

Oh, puhleeeeaaaase.


If you could be any vegetable for a day, what would you be?

I'd be my ring, because it's eighteen carrots.

Have you no shame?

[theunstrungharp]

Shame? Seamus isn't here right now. Please leave a message.

What's the first thing I think of in the morning?

[curiousjane]

What's the first thing I think of in the morning?

Purple People Eaters. *shudder* Why on earth would you bring up a topic like that?


What are the economic benefits of a cumulonimbus cloud?

[DrEast]

Purple People Eaters. *shudder* Why on earth would you bring up a topic like that?


What are the economic benefits of a cumulonimbus cloud?

Numerous, but investment can be precipitous.

How science-y a guy IS Bill Nye?

[Jane]

As scienc-y as a palindrome is!

Am I drawn inward, Ima? :idea:

[curiousjane]

As scienc-y as a palindrome is!

Am I drawn inward, Ima? :idea:

No, but you are:

A man, a plan, panama.


Are we there yet?

[DrEast]

No, we're still just here.

What's a palindrome?

[azelismia]

No, we're still just here.

What's a palindrome?



It's a Large Bee with a lance, who rides a fine young hummingbird.


To be or not to bee?

[ElstonGunn]

No, we're still just here.

What's a palindrome?

It's a lot like a guy named Ed, or so I'm told.

Ed: a general, a renegade.
Ed is on no side.

So I think a palindrome is anybody who has extensive military experience, but refuses to comply with factions. Or in a looser sense, I suppose "palindrome" could be used to indicate any maverick in a position of authority.

What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?



Dang, again with the lateness. Always with the lateness.

[DrEast]

It's a Large Bee with a lance, who rides a fine young hummingbird.


To be or not to bee?

Two bees. And in that vein,

Half a bee, philosophically, must ipso facto half not be. But half the bee has got to be vis-à-vis its entity - d'you see? But can a bee be said to be or not to be an entire bee when half the bee is not a bee due to some ancient injury?

[hauteur]

No, we're still just here.

What's a palindrome?

A palindrome is an enorrmous, dome-shaped, flowering plant that is indigenous to central Antarctica that only blooms for 23 seconds each year. It catches penguins that pass by in order to draw larger birds of prey for food.

What are the little plastic doohickies on the end of your shoelaces called?

Edit: Wow, I was way slow on the button.

[DrEast]

A palindrome is an enorrmous, dome-shaped, flowering plant that is indigenous to central Antarctica that only blooms for 23 seconds each year. It catches penguins that pass by in order to draw larger birds of prey for food.

What are the little plastic doohickies on the end of your shoelaces called?

Edit: Wow, I was way slow on the button.

Slow, but you cracked me up with the mental image of a flower-ensnared penguin being used to attract a vulture.

[Jane]

A palindrome is an enorrmous, dome-shaped, flowering plant that is indigenous to central Antarctica that only blooms for 23 seconds each year. It catches penguins that pass by in order to draw larger birds of prey for food.

What are the little plastic doohickies on the end of your shoelaces called?

Edit: Wow, I was way slow on the button.

Little plastic doohickies, you said it, Dumb :irked:

Quote: "Why did Dr East forgot to pose a question?"

[OddFactor]

Little plastic doohickies, you said it, Dumb :irked:

Quote: "Why did Dr East forgot to pose a question?"
Because smokey IS the bandit! (if you know the movie then we should be friends. Especially after it being such an obscure part)

Why do fish has no blood? (if you know that reference, well, you probably already know me.)

[Jane]

#1: Because I can HAS fish.

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#2: The fish, like Oddfactor is Odd.

#3: That's the fish out of water.

Question: How's Dr East Sea R.D for a name? Palindromes! Palindromes! :idea:

How about changing my name to Jane Naj. or maybe you guys could call me "Hannah" instead and leave Jane for Curiousjane! :idea:

Palindromes! Palindromes! I love them.

[OddFactor]

#1: Because I can HAS fish.

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#2: The fish, like Oddfactor is Odd.

#3: That's the fish out of water.

Question: How's Dr East Sea R.D for a name? Palindromes! Palindromes! :idea:

How about changing my name to Jane Naj. or maybe you guys could call me Hannah instead and leave Jane for Curiousjane! :idea:

Palindromes! Palindromes! I love them.
Because of monsters that walk the earth.

My dewey eyed Disney bride what has tried swabbing your blood with formaldehyde?

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[Jane]

*horror* I just realized that its "cheezburger" not hamburger. Garrrr





Jane added to this post, 37 minutes and 46 seconds later...

Oddfactor, you are one huge hardcore. You've been online for hours. Either that or you left the forum window open >.<

I love this thread

[panda]

My dewey eyed Disney bride what has tried swabbing your blood with formaldehyde?
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The Mickey Mouse, which created by the Walt Disney and Ub Iwerks in 1928. He is the one who has tried swabbing your blood with formaldehyde, because he is so bored staying on the stage for so long and never could get any retirement.

What cause the ball to bouncing back?

[curiousjane]

So bouncing on it goes and goes, but where it stops, well no one knows, the horse, the car, the park, the shows, and on and on and on it goes ... it may not stop, it may not end, but I shall not try to pretend that ball, that bouncy, bouncy, ball will see my face again, YET just suppose ...

So, what do you think? Last day. 7 out of 12 pages written. Midnight due date. Will it happen? Will I finish my report in time?

[BlackHawk]

No. A pack of velociraptors attack you as you are finishing your paper. In the mayhem, the raptors eat your computer, and leave only your bloody remains.

Why?

[DrEast]

No. A pack of velociraptors attack you as you are finishing your paper. In the mayhem, the raptors eat your computer, and leave only your bloody remains.

Why?

Because I said so. (Which, to an INTJ, is always the wrong answer.)

How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?

[curiousjane]

Because I said so. (Which, to an INTJ, is always the wrong answer.)

How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?

Not many, actually. Probably about one.
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Pepsi or Coke?

[theunstrungharp]

Soy chai if we're in luck.

Is it wrong that Mr.Machismo refuses to use a map but loves his shiny new GPS?

[DrEast]

Soy chai if we're in luck.

Is it wrong that Mr.Machismo refuses to use a map but loves his shiny new GPS?

It's only right so long as he doesn't have to stop and ask it for directions.

Where do snowflakes come from?

[curiousjane]

Angel dandruff.

What is the molecular composition of a peppermint patty?

[DeeOhYouGee]

H2OMG-LMFaO-EieIo

What is the term for doubting the product of your efforts, correcting the error, and once corrected, the pan galactic gargle blaster hangover realization, you had it right ther first time?

[DrEast]

H2OMG-LMFaO-EieIo

What is the term for doubting the product of your efforts, correcting the error, and once corrected, the pan galactic gargle blaster hangover realization, you had it right ther first time?

"Living."

Romeo, oh Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

[curiousjane]

In the bathroom. May I take a message?

(I can't take credit for this answer. It was all brooklyn's idea.)


Will I Get a B?

[DrEast]

In the bathroom. May I take a message?

(I can't take credit for this answer. It was all brooklyn's idea.)


Will I Get a B?

If you get a B in your bonnet, your B will be on your head. Thus, should you get a B, you'll also get a head. And, since you should quit while you're a head, you should also quit while you're a B. But since you don't strike me as a quitter, I doubt you'll get a B.

Are problems in the NP set solvable in polynomial time?

[Victoria Silver]

If you get a B in your bonnet, your B will be on your head. Thus, should you get a B, you'll also get a head. And, since you should quit while you're a head, you should also quit while you're a B. But since you don't strike me as a quitter, I doubt you'll get a B.

Are problems in the NP set solvable in polynomial time?


No; they are only solvable in waltz time.

Who said "To be or not to be?"

[lagoon]

art garfunkel on his little known tribute album to elvis

why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?

[panda]

art garfunkel on his little known tribute album to elvis

why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?

Because somebody knock you in the head and you saw a hallucination birds around your head and one of them actually smack your jaw with his tiny little wings.

what is the purpose of green peace organization actually?

[Jane]

A fan base for peeps who like green peas of course!! :irked:

Which of course, does not seem to have contributed to the popularity of green peas any bit.

Are you for real?

[OddFactor]

A fan base for peeps who like green peas of course!! :irked:

Which of course, does not seem to have contributed to the popularity of green peas any bit.

Are you for real?
That depends on whether anything is real to begin with.

Why can't days be 27 hours long?

[panda]

That depends on whether anything is real to begin with.

Why can't days be 27 hours long?

Because the clock then will not be divided evenly.

Why they call it jazz music and others rock music?

[Victoria Silver]

As every good philologist knows, "jazz music" is a variation on the phrase "just music" when spoken with a Deep South accent.

"What y'all playin'?"

"Jes' music."

Rock music, on the other hand, began in the United Kingdom in the early Fifties. Bands of rowdy teenagers, looking for entertainment, were disappointed when they went to pubs where the band was playing traditional Dixieland jazz. Some of them attacked the musicians by throwing small rocks at them, causing them to flee in terror. The hoodlums -- popularly known as "rockers" -- then picked up their instruments and began to play their own form of music. This is how they became the Rolling Stones.


What is the Happiest Place on Earth?

[Jane]

Earth itself, Victoria Silver.

Would you be so kind to ask yourself a question?

[curiousjane]

Earth itself, Victoria Silver.

Would you be so kind to ask yourself a question?

I question kindly.
Myself, I ask:
"Would you?" Myself,
alas, is not at home.

But I took a message.

If there are electric circular saws, why are there not any square ones?

[Jane]

I just happened to have some in my toolshed! There's pink ones with heart-shaped knobs, diamond shaped ones with green camouflage, and of course, rainbow colored square ones for our curiousjane.

:cheesy: A cheesy grin for you.

Is 'Myself' or 'Would you' at home yet? Tell her to get the f-- home else I will be using that not-so-useful square electric saw to chomp down the door!

[rwyatt365]

Myself is out, but Would you is in the basement. Is there something you need to tell her 'cause she's really busy right now and can't come to the door.

Why does diet soda taste so bad?

[Uberfuhrer]

Why does diet soda taste so bad?

It doesn't. But the fact that it will make you grow a vagina in the back of your knee puts a bad taste in your mouth while you're drinking it.

Why don't girls find me attractive?

[DrEast]

It doesn't. But the fact that it will make you grow a vagina in the back of your knee puts a bad taste in your mouth while you're drinking it.

Why don't girls find me attractive?

I dunno, but that's okay. The guys fall hard for you.

Where is the west pole?

[TehBeefah]

Where is the west pole?

Las Vegas, Nevada. Strippers frequently dance on it, which is in stark contrast to the East pole, where Mongol warlords affix the heads of conquered foes.

Are we there yet?

[rwyatt365]

Yes we are. In fact, we've been here for quite some time.

Is 16 really sweet?

[Uberfuhrer]

No, it's actually sour and bitter.

What is 2 + 2?

[curiousjane]

No, it's actually sour and bitter.

What is 2 + 2?

5 on odds days; 22 on even.

What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

[DrEast]

5 on odds days; 22 on even.

What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

I'd treat it right, take it out to nice places while wearing my nattiest suit, take long walks under scented blossoms, get to know its family, and then, when I knew it wasn't expecting it, go down on one knee and pop the question.

Does anyone actually DO that sort of thing?

[curiousjane]

I'd treat it right, take it out to nice places while wearing my nattiest suit, take long walks under scented blossoms, get to know its family, and then, when I knew it wasn't expecting it, go down on one knee and pop the question.

Does anyone actually DO that sort of thing?

:laugh: Only for the caramel crunch ones.

So, when's the wedding?

[rwyatt365]

Actually, there is a community in western New Jersey where long walks on the beach, and looking at sunsets holding hands are activities that are mandated by law. Most of the residents comply but, with the paucity of beachfront property, most are seen walking back and forth in front of a display at the local travel agency. Some scofflaws rebel by watching sunRISES and NOT holding hands. However, most of those deviants were burned at the stake in the late 1980's.

Why did they name Uranus, that?

D-oh! CJ beat me to it!

Next year - you're all invited!

[OmegaPsi]

Actually, there is a community in western New Jersey where long walks on the beach, and looking at sunsets holding hands are activities that are mandated by law. Most of the residents comply but, with the paucity of beachfront property, most are seen walking back and forth in front of a display at the local travel agency. Some scofflaws rebel by watching sunRISES and NOT holding hands. However, most of those deviants were burned at the stake in the late 1980's.

Why did they name Uranus, that?

D-oh! CJ beat me to it!

Next year - you're all invited!

Because William Hershel wanted to be a Doctor too!

Why is a round pizza always delivered in a square box?

[DrEast]

Because William Hershel wanted to be a Doctor too!

Why is a round pizza always delivered in a square box?

Pizza makers are actually an ancient cabal of Hellenists who are still bent on squaring the circle with compass and straight-edge. They don't believe that it's impossible, having chosen to view the proofs of such as demon-bred argumentation from the pits of Hades. Pizzas, and pizza boxes, are actually just their failed attempts, which happen to be delicious, served up as a sacrifice to Euclid and the Saints of Geometry and then sold to maintain profits.

How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

[rwyatt365]

Actually, angels can't dance, they get tripped up in their flying feathers and fall down embarassed. They can, however, perform a pretty mean "wave" and often sit in the upper bleachers of Yankee games.

Why doesn't Pi equal 3?

[curiousjane]

Actually, angels can't dance, they get tripped up in their flying feathers and fall down embarassed. They can, however, perform a pretty mean "wave" and often sit in the upper bleachers of Yankee games.

Why doesn't Pi equal 3?

Because calculating it gives the geeks something to do all day ...

If Batman and Superman got into a fight ... who would win?

[Cuivienen]

Chuck Norris!!

What makes deep fried chocolate bars dipped in batter so delicious?

[DrEast]

Chuck Norris!!

What makes deep fried chocolate bars dipped in batter so delicious?

That would be your brain dumping endorphines into your system because of your impending death by heart failure. Better make those last moments good ones!

In a similar vein, why is the cultural stereotype of a beautiful woman - anorexic - the exact opposite of what most men want?

[curiousjane]

That would be your brain dumping endorphines into your system because of your impending death by heart failure. Better make those last moments good ones!

In a similar vein, why is the cultural stereotype of a beautiful woman - anorexic - the exact opposite of what most men want?

Because fashion designers are cheap. They can't afford the extra materials to make anything over a size 2.

So, Elle or Kate Moss? :suspicious:

[TehBeefah]

Your mom ;)

What did she say?

[panda]

Your mom ;)

What did she say?

She said "I'm going to be famous if those designer following most man taste"

Why do they call it fashion show, instead of model show?

[searcher]

model is the ancient sudanese word for genius. Thus, it could not be used for such an event as airheaded sticks parading up and down a runway. 'fashion' on the other hand, is the neptunian term for having a single digit I.Q.

What are chihuahuas?

[Cuivienen]

Chihuahuas are really the result of illegal experiments with rats in the early seventies, sponsored by the US-American Ministry for Defense, which was trying to create a new breed of highly intelligent and trainable rats which to use as spies. Due to some mistakes the genetic experiments failed and the government suddenly found itself with thousands of hairless, yapping rat-mutants. To earn back the money they had spent on the experiments, they sold them off as "miniature dogs". This is also the reason why Chihuahuas are often dressed in little coats, so you don`t see their rat-heritage (as easily).

What is the reason we all love Tom Cruise so much?

[Jane]

I don't.

Why do you? :suspicious:

[rwyatt365]

Because Tom Cruise is actually an alien from Beta Centauri. His facial features are so constructed as to drive 62.7% of human females wild with uncontrollable lustful desires, and 47.3% of males into envious rage. The remaining population is afflicted with a mild desire to watch reruns of "Days of Thunder" and/or "Mission Impossible II".

Do you know the way to San Jose?

[brooklyncs]

Absolutely. Go out of my driveway, turn left, take a right at the light, straight for about a mile and a half, then right, then continue on for about 15 miles. Turn right, then left into the last driveway. Should take you about twenty minutes.


In the current movie rating system, what does pg-13 mean?

[ElstonGunn]

In the current movie rating system, what does pg-13 mean?

It means "Parental Guidance suggested if you have more than 13 children." Because honestly, thirteen kids? What are you trying to do there, re-populate the post-apocalyptic world or something?

If a mime goes on a killing spree, does he have use a silencer on his gun?

[DrEast]

It means "Parental Guidance suggested if you have more than 13 children." Because honestly, thirteen kids? What are you trying to do there, re-populate the post-apocalyptic world or something?

If a mime goes on a killing spree, does he have use a silencer on his gun?

Yes, or else the mimes that witness it might talk.

How do you get all the kinks out of a paper clip you've unbended?

[rwyatt365]

In the current movie rating system, what does pg-13 mean?
It means "Pretty Good, 13 kleptrons" - the kleptron being the standard glactic unit for goodness. It takes 50 kleptrons to equal a cranmdon, and 12 cranmdons to equal a moron. Of course, everyone knows that 2 morons are better than one, and three morons are a real blast.

When will the sun go nova?

[DrEast]

It means "Pretty Good, 13 kleptrons" - the kleptron being the standard glactic unit for goodness. It takes 50 kleptrons to equal a cranmdon, and 12 cranmdons to equal a moron. Of course, everyone knows that 2 morons are better than one, and three morons are a real blast.

When will the sun go nova?

As soon as its Thunderbird hits 250,000 miles.

How much is a penny worth?

[azelismia]

As soon as its Thunderbird hits 250,000 miles.

How much is a penny worth?

A. English or American?

Q. English or American?

[DrEast]

A. English or American?

Q. English or American?

Depends on whether you want a muffin or fries.

What's the last thought you'll have?

[rwyatt365]

Depends on whether you want a muffin or fries.

What's the last thought you'll have?
"Damn!"

Why is blacktop really dark grey?