I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game

[Fujimoto]

They work for the love of their pursuits, not material gain.

What kind of hat is most appropriate for everyday wear?

[drake2]

As much as funeral directors.

Where did DNA come from?

[jkatra]

^^A giant sombrero.

^DNA came from 22nd and Adams St, but she is planning to move to Detroit sometime next year.

How do you know if you're a genius?

[reiven]

damn, i missed a page.


How much money do psychiatrists make?


under the presidents new Making Healthcare Affordable And Simpler Act, 66% of psychiatric care falls under provision 833b, which caps physician disbursement at $17.28 per hour for the so-called 'talking cures,' and $17.04 per hour if the doctor has prescribed medication for more than 21.213% of his/her patients in any given month. if the number stays below 21.322%, his hourly rate remains at $17.28, and the act provides that the doctor does not have to pay for the medication from his own practice.

this is expected to generate 2.86 billion in healthcare cost-reductions, which is about 47% of the cost to administer this particular provision.


How do you know if you're a genius?

geniui (the class of humanoid considered genius) has a pronounced dislike for the color blue. if you've ever worn blue, you ain't genius


what is the gaslight district?

[EmmaKynikos]

It's where the hole in the ozone is. The sun's beams pour through it and start little fires also known as volcanic eruptions.

Will you buy me a pet panda if i promise to feed it every day?

[aok]

Absolutely

Will you cook me breakfast?

[jkatra]

I will cook you a broiled chair.

Will California sink into the ocean?

[venuspop]

You are banned from California for a reason.

How heavy are you?

[jkatra]

I like heavy conversations about heavy intellectual topics.

Are you exercising regularly?

[BobtheINTJ]

Isn't this an exercise? I've been looking for a pyschotropic equivalent of Senna to keep myself regular.

What do you do to ease the symptoms of emotional constipation?

[jkatra]

I put people in headlocks in empty McDonald's parking lots at 3 in the morning.

Where is a McDonald's in your neighborhood?

[Lunammi]

There isn't, in fact we don't have it my country.

Why fast food is called fast food?

[jkatra]

Because you will eat it very quickly. The Big Mac is probably not going to be sold any longer there since it takes approximately 15 minutes to eat.

Where can I buy a bag of peanuts?

[Lunammi]

This is obvious. In the graveyard.

Why the Sun shines?

[jkatra]

Because I tell it to shine.

Do we make our own reality?

[Lunammi]

God created reality so he does everything.

What is reality?

[jkatra]

The reality of the situation is you're broke, you're homeless, and you're not very smart.

Why is reality so depressing sometimes?

[Lunammi]

It's depressing because there is no reality.

Why people talk to each other?

[jkatra]

People are required to communicate to one another according to legal stipulation # 347 in the federal code of Human Communication Act passed by Congress in 1984.

Should we listen to the government?

[Lunammi]

Yes, the government knows what's best for us.

Who is driving your car?

[jkatra]

No one, which is why I'll get into an accident about 3 minutes from now.

How long is a minute?

[Lunammi]

A minute is 5 hours long.

Who created time?

[jkatra]

Jazz pianist Brad Mehldau.

How do you play the piano?

[Lunammi]

Simply hit it with rake.

Why do we need maps?

[jkatra]

Maps are a healthy source of protein in addition to fruits and vegetables.

What is protein?

[Lunammi]

A huge pillow.

What dreams are made of?

[jkatra]

Dreams are made out of dreams, and those dreams are also made out of dreams.

What is infinity?

[aok]

The first level.

What were the main beliefs of the Pythagorean cult?

[Cooper]

That Monte Python is GOD.

How important is the firmness of a basketball?

[Moxiie]

The firmness of a basketball is only of relative importance when one is playing the ancient Aztec game of basketball...where they used human skulls as balls. The thicker and more firm the skull the better the game. Logic: basketball firmness is deadly.

what in the hell is wrong with my car?

[aok]

It requires gas.

What does a speeding ticket get you entrance to?

[Cooper]

The operator, and the center turn signal.

What is a good way to kill a gnat?

(I done been snaked!)

[Moxiie]

In my limited lethal gnat murder experience, I have found that a hot air balloon applied with force is the most effective. However, the problem is getting a handle on the hot air balloon to use as a striking weapon.

I wonder if she really did get that pretty and her little dog too?

[BobtheINTJ]

Oh no, she stole that pretty and used the dog as a beard.

I wonder who wrote the book of love?

[Moxiie]

It was discovered about 7 min ago by a blind street minstrel on the streets of paris, it does however, remain a mystery as to who the author is and how exactly that blind guy read it.

what was that thing??!!

[Cooper]

A gnat stuck to a hot air balloon.

How do you get a dog to get the fuck off your laptop?

[reiven]

dogs will eat anything. simply put the laptop in front of him, and he will lick the fuck off of it. this make me wonder why you were having sex on your laptop... but hey, different strokes and such.


what does old styrofoam turn into?

[Moxiie]

given the cyclical nature of the universe, the evolutionary cycle of styrofoam would naturally evolve into a single cell organism--->eventually to become mankind ---> ad naseum

are all super hero's born from being exposed to radiation?

[reiven]

nerp. kool-aid man was exposed to rubella, and bruce wayne saw his mom bouncing nekkid on top of the gardener the night before she died.


what actually causes the noise of knuckles popping?

[Moxiie]

a tiny dance troupe re-enacting their favorite scene from "Stomp" - they are so tiny that unless you put a stethascope up to the knuckle to get the true rhythm it's easy for the naked ear to just hear a "pop" sound

Just how many uses are there sporks?

[reiven]

the average is 11 for western nations, 3 for the republic of idaho.

what do lithotripsy and lithography have in common?

[Moxiie]

well first we must examine the natural biological similarities between tripsy's and graphy's and we see that, while microscopic, they actually share many of the same dna strands. their commonalities only expand after that and become nearly infinite

what is that guy such a trogladite?

[reiven]

oh puhleeze. his mom kept him chained to a propane tank in the garage for nine years. he only ate discarded vegetables, and you wanna throw names around? i'm disappointed in you, i mean really.

what did they do with the sugar they extracted to make splenda?

[Moxiie]

the sugar that they extract from splenda is generally bound together with calcium and dog saliva then baked until hard and sent to dental offices to make false teeth

holy crap, look at that thing, what the hell is it??

[BobtheINTJ]

From a distance it looks blue and green, but it could be a by-product of pink slime.

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

[reiven]

^^it's your leg.
looks a little different without all the wool hanging off it, huh?
shave the other one and fewer people will stare.

^ it is exactly the same as two hands clapping, but with a bit more paprika.


what are other popular uses for toothpicks?

[BobtheINTJ]

They can be used to free microscopic miners in Chile

How did we get off track?

[reiven]

if track is just a recreational drug, you can qualify for synthetic track. if you use track as part of your vocation (if you are, say... a trackwhore) then it's just not likely you will ever get off track.


why do lizards grow their parts back?

[Moxiie]

No one knows, it's a mystery. What's even more mysterious is when they systematically lose every body part and it comes back as a human body part...then they mature into politicians

Do you prefer the cream version or the powdered version?

[reiven]

it's a scam. the powdered version says "just add cream"

why do people think dimples are cute?

[Moxiie]

because sitting in each dimple are 5 cute kittens with big kitten eyes....oh and they have party hats on. Of course this isn't visible to the naked eye, but we instinctively know they are there.

Iceberg lettuce....huh? why?

[reiven]

seriously... how many vegetables had to die for you to have that stoopid salad????


if (most) men no longer desire breast milk, why are they (we) still fascinated by women's breasts?

[EmmaKynikos]

upped your viagra again, huh reiven?

where's the nearest ferris wheel?

[reiven]

most KFC's now have a ferris wheel in their lobby.
well, half have a ferris wheel, the other half have a full military obstacle course.
i think it's a north / south dichotomy.


is sticky good?

[EmmaKynikos]

only if it comes from gd.

should i walk into my boss's office and quit without notice?

[jkatra]

Become your boss.

Where are marshmallows created?

[venuspop]

In the marshes but don't tell the kids.

Why not?

[jkatra]

The kids are marsh creatures who will devour us all.

Why are kids scary?

[Reizu]

Because they carry the souls of thousands of tortured animals inside of them.

What should I do now?

[BobtheINTJ]

Put a sneaker on your head.

What happens when a woman takes Viagra?

[jkatra]

Men become asexual.

How do I know you're telling the truth?

[BobtheINTJ]

I am the way, the truth and the life of the party. How dare you question me?

If you have a female boss, should you take performance enhancing drugs?

[jkatra]

That's a very hypothetical question since there are no female bosses, except I think in Norway.

What is Norway like?

[Reizu]

Think if sour gummy worms had souls and if those souls were a place.

Why is the platypus the only poisonous mammal?

[Fujimoto]

Because its ancestors played with matches and ran with scissors. They're cursed now.

Are there any other large areas of land that we haven't discovered?

[reiven]

there are many, but under the harsh new guidelines, none are large enough to qualify as a planet.


what is psychotropic?

[aok]

It's a tropical paradise for psychotics, I still haven't located yet.

What is equilibrium?

[Reizu]

The flavor of the new McFlurry from McDonald's.

Is there such thing as the Tooth Fairy?

[aok]

Yes, he's a gay dentist.

What does peter cook up in his pan?

[jkatra]

Mischief and trouble.

What is Facebook?

[EmmaKynikos]

i went to high school with peter cook. cool guy.

is pink hair becoming on a 55 yr old?

[Reizu]

Yes.

What does the devil do when he's bored?

[aok]

Schemes against God and fails.

What are hara krishnas?

[Reizu]

The Kardashians when they're vacationing in the Middle East and forget to bring their razors.

How long do I have to wait?

[Fujimoto]

Over nine thousaaaaaaaaand!

Who was your favorite character from Sesame Street?

[Moxiie]

Bilbo Baggins

What exactly do hobbits need to nourish their souls?

[Reizu]

^^Katy Perry (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

^Jelly beans

Who is the best of the best?

[Moxiie]

Being purely an epistemological inquiry, the best of the best can only be determined through a drawn out process to determine praxis. However, in layman's terms, the best of the best is mayonnaise.

Oh dear!! WHY??

[MacheteGeek]

Because Doom says so.

Why do people enjoy gravity?

[aok]

It helps bring them down, and everyone knows depressed people have a more accurate view of reality. So it helps them be more realistic.

Why are realists such downers?

[MacheteGeek]

Because they know it really isn't butter.

Why can't people sense their brain?

[aok]

Because, they're realists.

Why not butter the biscuit?

[Reizu]

If you were a realist you would know it's not actually butter.

Why can't we stop talking about realists?

[Lykaon]

Because realists are real in reality.

What is the meaning of Quan?

[GenessorDios]

It is a citizen of a group of people who have been waiting in line for so long that they've formed their own democratic society.

What's the fourth last thing I will do before I die?

[BobtheINTJ]

Depends if you skipped any steps before the fourth. More than likely you will skip to the lou.

What is the nutritional makeup of haggis?

[jkatra]

Haggis consists of the following nutrients: sevens, pigs, galaxies, and telecommunications.

What should we be doing this evening?

[venuspop]

We should hold hands and dance around the Maypole.

Is there a Maypole at the north pole?

[aok]

No, it's on the east equator.

What's so green about Greenland?

[jkatra]

Nothing. Greenland is an elaborate marketing propaganda scheme to relocate millions of people away from the real green areas so they can freeze to death.

Why do people create schemes?

[aok]

Because they have no plot, they've lost it.

How do you find it?

[jkatra]

You find that which finds you.

How do you play hide and seek?

[venuspop]

First you hide somewhere. Then you go seek yourself. Most of the time, you will find yourself hiding where you hid.

Did I make myself clear?

[jkatra]

You made yourself Venuspop.

Who are you?

[venuspop]

I am who I am.

Don't you know?

[jkatra]

I know all, see all, say hi to all.

Who are you supposed to be again?

[venuspop]

Supposed to be? Why, I never!

Did you ever?

[aok]

I never ever never ever never ever.

What is below never?

[venuspop]

There is a lie under all nevers.

Did you contribute to those lies?

[aok]

I lied down ever time I never.

Where does the truth hurt?

[venuspop]

Here, here and here.

Where is here?

[aok]

There, their, and where.

Who is whom?

[venuspop]

Whom who you wooed.

Any luck?

[jkatra]

Luck doesn't exist as long as you plan.

What is true?

[venuspop]

What I've said is always true.

What about those I haven't said?

[jkatra]

You need to say more. Much more.

How much is much more?

[venuspop]

A great deal less than little.

How about some ice cream?

[jkatra]

I approve of ice cream and will elect it into political office.

Where do I go to vote?

[venuspop]

The polling station is at the end of the culling station.

Can you find your way there without any gps coordinates?

[jkatra]

I intuitively know the way to anywhere and anywhen.

Why isn't anywhen a word?

[reiven]

it is if you spell it right- it's aniwhen.
trust me, i know speling.


what is the difference between a five iron and a tire iron?

[aok]

One's a golfer and the other one's a mechanic.

Why do alot of jobs like you to be very detail oriented?

[Reizu]

Actally they want you to be orientally detailed. Because if they're going to put you on display you need to look stunning.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

[venuspop]

The worm is greener there.

Are worms delicious?

[MacheteGeek]

Yes, because they taste like chocolate.

Are there three kinds of people in this world?

[jkatra]

There are three kinds of salads in the world, so I guess three kinds of people probably eat them.

What should you put in a salad?

[MacheteGeek]

You should put salad in stew for flavoring.

What should you do to annoying people?

[Reizu]

Run five laps around their house, do an impersonation of Jay Leno while baking them a cake, marry their dog, and then set a chocolate bomb to go off under their bed at exactly 2:00 am.

Why do people get married?

[MacheteGeek]

So they can decide whether or not they like the family of the person they are marrying.

Why do people insist on reactions of insanity?

[jkatra]

It is only by focusing on the opposite that enough momentum is created to generate a healthy movement in the opposite direction.

How do you become a good detective?

[BobtheINTJ]

It involves 2 parts wishing, 3 parts hard luck and one gumshoe.

Why do married people cheat on their significant other(s)?

[MacheteGeek]

So they can determine if the right answer is to do so.

Are wet cats still cuddly?

[BobtheINTJ]

Not if they weren't cuddly when dry

Why don't dogs have 9 lives?

[aok]

Because all they do is beg, bark, and slobber. They are dependent on your dictatorship.

What happens after the 9th life?

[MacheteGeek]

The hero is slain and Shrek gets the girl(s).

Is research insane by definition?

[aok]

It's inane by recreation. Profane by proclamation. Rectified by reexamination.

Why does your survival depend on capitalism?

[MacheteGeek]

Because strangers know your every thought.

Is there a better way to adapt to change?

[aok]

Ignore your surroundings and adapt to yourself.

What is responsibility?

[jkatra]

It's a bar down on Lincoln Avenue that sells those icy drinks.

What is your philosophy?

[aok]

Existentialist ambiguity.

What's your belief?

[thebrainpolice]

Scientology.

What caused the Civil War?

[jkatra]

Chopin's music.

Who is Bill Clinton?

[aok]

Another puppet mastered.

Who is Pinnochio?

[jkatra]

My personal tax accountant.

Which way is Italy?

[aok]

South of the border, amigo.

Who is the judge of political correctness?

[BobtheINTJ]

Judge Dredd - not the one from New Zealand - the one from Hell's Kitchen

Why is it called Hell's Kitchen?

[aok]

Because all that stomach acid gets hot in the belly of a fat cook.

Why do cooks wear hats?

[MacheteGeek]

The weight keeps their heads from floating away.

Why are hedgehogs cute?

[aok]

Because people feel better about themselves fawning over things weaker than themselves.

Why do some people actually enjoy sitting around, wasting the whole day fishing?

[MacheteGeek]

Because water and sun is good for nothing.

Is there a good way to say the show must go on?

[aok]

Quit your job.

When does life start beginning?

[MacheteGeek]

When it stops ending every sentence with a like.

I have a purple potato?

[aok]

You have Mr. Potato's head being lego blocked by new Transformer movies searching for box office value.

Why was GI Joe ever popular?

[MacheteGeek]

They weren't, they never even existed in another reality.

Why is it easy to absorb information?

[aok]

Because you can always throw it away later.

Why do old folks still think old fashioned is still fashionable?

[BobtheINTJ]

^Haven't you ever noticed the texture of a brain?

Fashion is a figment of our imagination. (I need a faster ISP)

[aok]

Yes, DMT.

What's the best thing about flouride?

[BobtheINTJ]

It caused kids during the '60's to curl up under their desks, put their head between their legs and kiss their ass goodbye!

Are any of the provisions in nuclear fallout shelters still edible?

[aok]

If you run out of food, you should still have plenty of meat on your own body to subsist on acannibolistically.

What happened after the muppets took Manhattan?

[jkatra]

The 1990's arrived.

Where will you be in 5 years?

[aok]

The 1990's.

What's new?

[BobtheINTJ]

Tipperary!

Have you ever kissed the Blarney Stone?

[aok]

I've been stoned, just not by Blarney, or Barney for that matter.

Who are The Newer Kids On The Block?

[venuspop]

The Butcher Anonymous.

Have you paid the ransom?

[jkatra]

I have paid my utility bills.

How do I create my own island?

[venuspop]

No man is an island so you must first be a woman before I can give you the wrong answer.

Have you become a woman?

[BobtheINTJ]

What I do with a woman is between me and her.

Do you have the sense you were born with?

[GenessorDios]

Sadly, I lost the sense of shit-myself-without-control a whole two years ago.

What's the difference between bagels and doughnuts?

[venuspop]

The former is hard, the latter is soft.

How is it that you do not know this?

[jkatra]

His brain was removed last Thursday.

What is special about Thursday?

[venuspop]

It's the GD brain removal day.

Can one function without a brain?

[GenessorDios]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

*drool*?

[jkatra]

No thanks, I already had drool for breakfast.

What did you have for breakfast?

[MacheteGeek]

Godzilla blood over small elephants.

Is there a wrong way to fanta?

[GenessorDios]

Being quite weak-willed, I only had some bread for bendmoderatepace.

When will the English alphabet be completely revamped?

[Artio]

The lost thing is discovered, hidden for many centuries.
Pasteur will be celebrated almost as a God-like figure.
This is when the moon completes her great cycle,
But by other rumors he shall be dishonored.

Will I get full body search at the airport tomorrow?

[jkatra]

It will thankfully be only a partial search.

Where is the nearest airport?

[reiven]

across from the brothel, just south of the metro.

what is a smpöch?

[Artio]

Smorgasbord of fuzzies.

Should I try harder?

[reiven]

yes. you should keep going until you become a rag doll.


do grapefruits make you vibrate?

[Artio]

No, they make you run around the parking lot and pass all those apartment buildings, over the schoolyard and back to your couch again.

Do they have hamburgers on the menu in Indian restaurants?

[reiven]

the McHindu is actually a chicken byproduct. sorry :(


is seven hours really that far?

[Artio]

No, if only you seize the day.

Have you ever had frog legs in Paris?

[reiven]

twice now... yes i have.
the first time was dramatic.
the second was much more casual, and....i dunno....comfortable.


did they bring you a whole new bed?

[Moxiie]

It's not too often that you look a gift horse in the mouth and say "thanks for the nail"

Why was that feather called macaroni anyways?

[aok]

To keep the doodle oodle as a noodle.

Why do people smoke cigarettes?

[venuspop]

No. Some smoke ham.

Do you smoke salmon?

[aok]

I smoke oxygen.

What will you be doing for the next three hours?

[venuspop]

I will be doing what comes naturally.

Does anything come unnaturally for you?

[aok]

Very many things, such as speaking.

What's the best part of public speaking?

[Gerard91]

The part when you end, and everyone is happy that you won't talk any longer.

What is the answer to everything?

[aok]

YES!!!

Where am I located?

[Gerard91]

Above, just next to the ceiling cat.

Does Santa exist?

[venuspop]

Second to the right, and straight on till morning.

How did you find your way here?

[aok]

I got lost.

Where is everywhere?

[Fujimoto]

Right over there.

If everything is over there, then what is here?

[aok]

Left under here.

What's the difference between us and we?

[jkatra]

Two letters.

Are you popular?

[venuspop]

Immensely.

Do you want to share my popular?

[ipmendy77]

I could not bear any more popularity, else i fear i may be rushed by adoring fans every time i try to leave my house.

What is the meaning of life?

[jkatra]

The purpose of life is to shop in the Fred Meyers grocery store on Burnside Street in Portland, Oregon, so most people live meaningless lives.

What are bananas?

[MacheteGeek]

They are the epitome of doughnuts.

Will true sorrow ever find me?

[gracious]

It is all around you if you would but open your eyes.

How many tears can one shed before the reservoir is dry?

[jkatra]

Tampa Bay Water's Regional Reservoir is a 15.5 billion gallon off-stream reservoir and an integral part of its Enhances Surface Water System, so approximately 18 trillion tears would need to be shed.

What is the weather like in Tampa?

[gracious]

It's like the weather in East Tampa.

Will I be a snowbird, spending my retirement summers in Florida someday?

[jkatra]

You will be a 1967 Pontiac Firebird.

What were the 1960's like?

[gracious]

At the beginning, they were very similar to December 1959.

What is the best way to reverse the aging process?

[jkatra]

Time travel to when you were born and then kill the past version of yourself. No more aging.

What is luck?

[gracious]

It is 'lack' misspelled.

Does spelling still matter to anyone?

[jkatra]

It matters very deeply to Gary Coleman, so I think that should matter to some extent.

Will you be happy someday?

[gracious]

No, but I may steal the identity of Happy Gilmore.

Did your mother tell you it would be like this?

[jkatra]

My mother told me I was raised by gypsies, so I live with them now.

Where is the North Pole?

[gracious]

In Poland with the other Poles.

Why did they decide to use the @ symbol in email addresses?

[jkatra]

That was an accident; it was supposed to be the letter a but the writer was an Internet addict who was spinning in circles while writing it.

How will we advance as a civilization?

[QuantumEnigma]

We will advance to the sound of bugles and the cry of "charge!", and then fall back to call of "retreat".

What would an advanced civilization do all day?

[DoubleEntendre]

Wonder what they would do if they weren't advanced.

When will I get to start reading as much as I used to again?

[QuantumEnigma]

Shortly after you invent a time machine, so you can go back to when you used to read a lot and then replace your old self with your current one. Of course, to prevent a time paradox you must read exactly the same amount as you first did, and exactly the same books.

What would be a good use of a time machine?

[venuspop]

When i start reading as much as I used to again. (i should quit this folly and return to my books... tomorrow, maybe tomorrow... )

Do you think I'll do what I say?

---------- Post added 05-12-2012 at 01:37 PM ----------

When i start reading as much as I used to again. (i should quit this folly and return to my books... tomorrow, maybe tomorrow... )

Do you think I'll do what I say?

Shortly after you invent a time machine, so you can go back to when you used to read a lot and then replace your old self with your current one. Of course, to prevent a time paradox you must read exactly the same amount as you first did, and exactly the same books.

What would be a good use of a time machine?
*snaked*

When used correctly, it can be used as the elixir of youth and vitality.

Now my question.

[Gerard91]

Do you think I'll do what I say?

I think yes, unless your ancestors were Hungarian. It's (stereo)typical for Hungarians to think one thing, say the second and do something else.

Why do people buy so many things they will never use, even once?

[aok]

Someone else might put more value to that person by what they own.

Why does one of my cats keep binging and purging?

[venuspop]

You shouldn't force your cat to look at you.

Why did you force your cat to look at you?

[QuantumEnigma]

Even the cat must look at the queen/king on occasion.

Do cats like to dress for the occasion?

[MacheteGeek]

Only if they expect to eat each other later.

Do people die trying?

[Artio]

Only if they expect to eat each other later.

Do people die trying?

To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 79348_n.jpg

Why am I tingling again?

[aok]

You tazed yourself again for a thrill.

What's shocking?

[Artio]

That I tazed myself again for a hill.

How many bites I'll get this summer?

[reiven]

over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over.
*wipes face*
over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over

what is the meaning behind the old adage "sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you"?

[aok]

It means we are all in a symbiotic, parasitic relationship of consuming and being consumed.

Why did seven ate nine?

[MacheteGeek]

Because nine named seven seven.

Are anime quotes valid quotes?

[aok]

All things are valid, copyright is wrong.

Why is the world so culturally stale, currently?

[MacheteGeek]

Because stereotypes tend to get people killed.

Does anyone ever confuse dreams and dejavu?

[aok]

Whenever recycling the unconscious.

Why do I have to exert effort?

[jkatra]

Because our society has brainwashed you.

Will you be happy today?

[DoubleEntendre]

Absolutely! My new legal name is Happy.

Is it too early to start drinking?

[jkatra]

Yes, and if you do, you'll be shot on sight.

Why do people drink?

[MacheteGeek]

So they can think about how productive they are.

Why leave loaded questions in plain sight?

[jkatra]

Because complex sight would be much more complicated than plain sight.

Is rock n' roll here to stay?

[reiven]

a long, long time ago-
and i can still remember how that music used to make me smile.
...february made me shiver...
the day, the music died.


come on mary,
romeo and juliette; should we be like they are?

[GenessorDios]

Yes, we should definitely be on the hunt for jailbait.

Got any leads?

[reiven]

i have just the leads for you.
this set *lifts brown ones* was used on trigger when roy rogers led him on stage for the first time. that set will run you about $1425 - $1850.

i also have the silk set that kennedy used on monroe, it'll run ya around $45k.


why does the rain cheer me up?

[jkatra]

Raindrops fall down to earth, so as a result of a reverse gravitational process you are ironically cheered up.

Where is Paraguay?

[GenessorDios]

Perhaps you enjoy the accompanying cool weather, perhaps you've invented a device that transmits the force of all raindrops in one square kilometer's radius into a vibrational masturbatory aid. There's no way to know for sure.

What are the cardinal directions?

[reiven]

65N through franklin and bowling green. they are just this side of louisville. but i'm pretty sure they aren't open on sunday.

why isn't rice individualistic, like snowflakes?

[GenessorDios]

Typical racist, all rice just looks the same to you.

What's blue and has a handle?

[jkatra]

The universe.

How many times should we re-evaluate our lives?

[Gerard91]

42 is the answer.

What does 42 mean, exactly?

[jkatra]

Forty-two is a pronic number and an abundant number; its prime factorization 2 · 3 · 7 makes it the second sphenic number and also the second of the form { 2 · 3 · r }. As with all sphenic numbers of this form, the aliquot sum is abundant by 12. 42 is also the second sphenic number to be bracketed by twin primes; 30 is also a pronic number and also rests between two primes. 42 has a 14 member aliquot sequence 42, 54, 66, 78, 90, 144, 259, 45, 33, 15, 9, 4, 3, 1, 0 and is itself part of the aliquot sequence commencing with the first sphenic number 30. Further, 42 is the 10th member of the 3-aliquot tree.

How are you today?

[Gerard91]

My log is fine.

How is your log?

[jkatra]

My logs are fine:

To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

When will my boat arrive?

[IronSulfide]

Yesterday. You missed it.

What will be the next major celebrity wedding?

[aok]

Hollywood's divorce from reality.

When will reality meet ideal?

[venuspop]

Next Tuesday, with Morrie.

How is Morrie?

[jkatra]

It's better to ask who is Morrie.

Who is Venuspop?

[Gerard91]

Your mother.

What about my mother?

[aok]

You're her son.

What about your father?

[IronSulfide]

He's Santa Claus. Don't tell anyone.

What has kept Santa alive for so long?

[jkatra]

Love of life.

Where can I buy Chinese food at 3 am?

[MacheteGeek]

China.

Is it wrong to eat Mexican?

[reiven]

yes. mexican food is loaded with monosodium glutamate.
there were 5 separate instances where people died last year from blowfish nachos.


what is unique about berber carpet?

[aok]

They cut the rug with their hair.

Why do people wear shoes?