I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game

[venuspop]

I was but I dropped the switch.

Can you get it up?

[jkatra]

I refuse to answer such sexually charged questions on the grounds that the answer may serve to incriminate me.

Should I finally go to sleep now?

[venuspop]

Can you? :devilish:

Is it proper not to answer a question?

[jkatra]

No, and it makes all of us so very very sad.

Should we be happy now?

[venuspop]

If we must.

Must we?

[jkatra]

We are creatures of our own volition existing in worlds that wrap around our minds and hearts.

Are dogs in our hearts?

[venuspop]

My teacher never said so.

Why can't the blind dog see?

[jkatra]

To see into the abyss is to become the abyss, so dogs need to remain pure.

What is pure?

[venuspop]

A new-born worm is pure.

Are worms born or do they emerge from eggs?

[jkatra]

Ask an egg.

Where are worm eggs?

[venuspop]

in a worm hole.

where does it lead?

[jkatra]

It leads to a dimension where thought, time, space and emotion naturally blend together.

Why are piano keys black and white?

[venuspop]

Genetics.

Can piano keys open doors?

[Gerard91]

Of course. They are widely used as door handles.

Who was the first European to discover America?

[venuspop]

Lech Walesa

What happened at the shipyard?

[aok]

Strange stalkers pursuing the bermuda triangle shipped out yards away.

What qualifies a person capable of judging anything?

[jkatra]

The International Judgment Council gives them a certification.

What is an illusion?

[aok]

Facebook

What is a masshole?

[jkatra]

A fat person who got dragged into a black hole.

How do you type?

[Sprelious]

^^

I'm from Maine, so I got this. It's when you have multiple Assholes in one place at the same time.

Is the opposite of attic, Irattic?

---------- Post added 04-20-2012 at 09:17 AM ----------

A fat person who got dragged into a black hole.

How do you type?


You go to the MBTI Site

What should I have for lunch

---------- Post added 04-20-2012 at 09:17 AM ----------

A fat person who got dragged into a black hole.

How do you type?


You go to the MBTI Site

What should I have for lunch

[aok]

A grinder.

Why was the J and P dimension added to Carl Jung's psychological types?

[Artio]

They were shadows of archetypes or something. *coughs*

Who will feed my hamsters?

[Reizu]

The cat.

What's under your bed?

[Artio]

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No monsters, no dust, no skeletons, no nothing.

Why can't I avoid no double negatives?

[Sprelious]

Double negatives have a powerful
Magnetic attraction. There's not no way to avoid them.

Why do all the days of the week sound so silly?

[jkatra]

^^Because I control everything you say and do; you are a kind of hypnotized servant who will advance my dark interests until all of humanity uses no double negatives.

^Because Mr. SaturdayThursdaySunday decided he wanted it to be that way.

How is humanity feeling this foggy morning?

[Sprelious]

Humanity lacks the basic cognitive ability to feel, so advertisers tell them how to feel. They feel the way they are supposed to.

Why is the Dove revered and the Pigeon despised when they are essentially the same.

[Reizu]

Because the heightened curve on the P in Pigeon as opposed to the humble D of Dove makes the Pigeon seem like a cocky bastard.

What would fighting solve?

[Sprelious]

43/7 = X

Is the a better way to make Mayonaise?

[gracious]

Is that a euphemism? In that case, I'm not sure but I devote myself to finding out.

Why did people seem to be in a good mood today at the stores?

[jkatra]

Suburban shoppers are serious drug users.

How do you make drugs?

[Reizu]

Sugar, spice, and everything nice.

Who's going to win the presidency in November?

[jkatra]

Mrs. Betty Patterson of Lincoln, Nebraska who is currently a part-time baker over on 4th Ave and McKinley St.

Where does the color green come from?

[Reizu]

Papayas.

What is God?

[aok]

Everything you do and don't understand.

Why don't people clone themselves?

[QuantumEnigma]

It's because the social security office refuses to issue duplicate cards, which makes the cloning paperwork impossible to complete.

Would you get along with your clone?

[aok]

Yes, we could switch jobs periodically and planned events.

What's the difference between a soul and a spirit?

[jkatra]

Both souls and spirits are leavening agents, which means they are added to baked goods before cooking to produce carbon dioxide and cause them to 'rise'. Spirits contain baking soda, but the two substances are used under different conditions.

Do you want to cook something now?

[Reizu]

I wanna cook up a STORM

Why is breakfast the most important meal of the day?

[jkatra]

Because it's the only meal your jailors will give you in a Brazilian prison for your life sentence.

What are scrambled eggs?

[aok]

Dr. Seuss on Easter.

Why was Charlie Brown so hard on himself?

[dvdhrns]

Because of the guilt over removing his teacher's larynx with a large crochet hook and feeding it to the dog.

Why isn't sour cream sour?

[jkatra]

Because the Chinese stole it and put it in sweet and sour sauce.

Why is China so big?

[discontinuous]

Because some people don't like refilling their plates.

What is the second based on?

[reiven]

Who's wife picks picks up his check.
i don't know.
third base.


which comedy duo never got the respect they deserved?

[Sprelious]

Seals & Croft

Why do I do it?

[reiven]

your kindergarten teacher left you feeling unfulfilled because you were a day late turning in your magazine collage. now you stress with every deadline, and you never ever feel like you have done your best.
well ya know what? you haven't done your best. you should go stand in the corner and think about that for a while.

why did we have to write spelling words over and over when we were kids?

[Sprelious]

It gave us an opportunity to think while we were spacing off such a mundane task.

Why is intuition such a hard concept for schools to grasp?

[reiven]

in the landmark Brown Vs The board of Special Education it was legislated that such special-ed aids like accouterments for lifting odd-shaped words should be removed, to make those kids feel less ostracized. so now when we have cumbersome words like intuition, we each have to grapple with them as best we are (individually) able.

why did jonathan edwards (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) have 'cards he ain't showin'?

[GenessorDios]

He was embarrassed about forgetting them at home.

Some people are high, but you just had to go a whole point higher, didn't you?

[reiven]

have you been eavesdropping? :shocked:

why do the internet gods reside in new jersey?

[EmmaKynikos]

it's a little known fact that Kronos sired Bill Gates by slamming into the palisades.

who's making me coffee?

[reiven]

oohh, sorry.
the guy with the gangrene toe that you released for medical care last night...was it jim..jimmy...jimbo? anyway, he was the one who had been doing it. now you need to allow another guest from your basement to have kitchen privileges.


how does caffeine give you energy?

[GenessorDios]

UPS, mainly.

Did you really think you could get away with murder?

[EmmaKynikos]

the door to my basement is secured with heavy locks. when the police come with search warrants, they became permanent guests of my basement. so, yeah, i'm good.

where's my lost shaker of salt?

[GenessorDios]

One of your guests has nicked it, I think to attempt suicide.

Do you have enough blankets for them all?

[reiven]

if i wanted to supply the mall with blankets, i could do so.

what ever happened to the Western Auto hardware stores?

[EmmaKynikos]

with my territories secured, my army sits at looms creating blankets as i need them.

why do you ask?

[reiven]

because i keep putting in my own eyedrops since i saw Clockwork Orange.


do you wanna se a picture of me when i was a kid?

[EmmaKynikos]

no thanks. I've seen enough billy goats in my day.

is it raining men?

[Reizu]

I don't know about where you are, but here it IS raining male rhinoceroses.

What caused WWII?

[GenessorDios]

EA went back in time to ensure they'd make lots of money at the turn of the century.

Could we as a planet save money if we didn't have to feed so many garbage trucks?

[EmmaKynikos]

when the moon is in the seventh house and jupiter aligns with mars is when the earth will be saved.

will you loan me a fiver?

[reiven]

^^yes.
to start we could recycle the toaster ovens with bras-for-shoes.

^ yes, but my rates are atrocious.

if i wear an earring in my right ear, am i trying to tell myself something?

[EmmaKynikos]

you are telling yourself that you need to inflict more pain throughout your body.

why am i laughing so hard?

[GenessorDios]

@reiven: It's wonderful that you proposed to your ear, but self-marriages aren't allowed, or I'd have little left elbow-babies by now.

@EmmaK: Perhaps you injected Viagra into your funny bone.

What's the coolest sounding Ancient Latin disease name?

[EmmaKynikos]

elbowstrongest qua strokis ad infinitium

why is there a polar bear outside my window?

[reiven]

^^scrotus giganticus:
A woman's next step after emasculating a prospective male.

^perhaps you have offended artio?

what is a grit?

[GenessorDios]

That thing everyone does to their teeth when you walk in the room.

You didn't think they all had lockjaw, did you?

[EmmaKynikos]

sometimes i miss the comforts of home.

why doesn't infinity exist in the physical world?

[reiven]

import/export laws. the only way to get an infinity is to trade in a lexus and pay a huge 'transaction fee'


what happened to howie mandel, and why is he so germaphobic now?

[GenessorDios]

I don't know. I mean, nazis were rubbish, but it's not right to lump all of them together.

Is burglary easy to learn?

[EmmaKynikos]

sure, just ask your mum.

how much time is she doing, btw?

[reiven]

10 minutes per john, no exceptions unless you pay double.


what would you do with a million dollars?

[EmmaKynikos]

i'd give it all to my true love so he could build and live in his log cabin in the woods.

where are my keys?

[reiven]

they stretch in a southwesterly arc from miami.
but seriously, you've been there once, and now they are your keys?


if irony is pronounced 'iearny', why isn't ironic pronounced 'iearnic'?

[EmmaKynikos]

all the better for it to rhyme with colonic.

is it time to take a shower?

[reiven]

hmmm, emma has a strap-on and there its soap on the floor of the shower.
i wonder if that's a coincidence.


what are the lesser know aphrodisiacs?

[Sprelious]

Mayonnaise, Scrubbing Bubbles, Elmers Glue and Caster Oil.

Is there a train to Istanbul?

[reiven]

if by train, you mean an omnibus appropriations bill, and by istanbul you mean paper-shredder, then yes.


what makes platinum expensive?

[EmmaKynikos]

a strong union is needed to dig it out. otherwise, it's worthless.

how do i get from here to there?

[aok]

Go from where to why.

When is then?

[reiven]

take the t-train


where is oshkosh?

[aok]

B gosh, I believe it's on antique overalls.

Why don't all plans succeed?

[Sprelious]

That would require all planners to succeed and that ain't happenin'.

Where's the beef?

[GenessorDios]

What? It's right there ... oh right, your enlarged nostrils are blocking your view.

Do you suppose there are dogs who wear dog tags and go round snickering to their friends saying Hey guys, look what I'm wearing?

[Moxiie]

I think dogs with a modicum of class or self respect wouldn't lower themselves to behavior like that, junk yard dogs however.......

Was Leroy Brown really the baddest man in town?

[EmmaKynikos]

everybody knows gd is the baddest man in town.

do i have class?

[aok]

I don't know if you're a student or not. I have class of the 1st grade, I've learned to tell time by analogue clock. I suppose that makes me classy.

What is VIP?

[Moxiie]

Vernacular In Practice - it's a new class at the local online university to bring geeks up to speed on the latest lingo. quite popular i hear.

Now where did I put that thing I lost?

[GenessorDios]

Right there, do you see it?

When will we reach a stage where all our belongings have embedded GPS to completely eliminate item misplacement?

[Moxiie]

Oh that day is coming soon...just you wait and see...just you wait and see

I just don't see it. Are you sure it's right there?

[IronSulfide]

Actually, it's crawling around on your shoulder.

Is that tarantula venomous?

[aok]

It needs to be shaved, it's too hairy.

Why is awesome more currently used than radical?

[jkatra]

The level of awe has increased approximately 1,034% since January 2005, while the level of radicalness has plunged -957% during the same time period.

Where can I buy a Mexican sombrero?

[thebrainpolice]

^^ Because "radical" is less awesome than "awesome." It is slightly more radical though.

^ West Virginia.

Why do the people at the laundromat get mad when I use lant (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) as a detergent?

[Reizu]

Because they're jealous that they can't afford any.

How can we fix the stock market?

[jkatra]

Talk to Betty down on the 4th floor. She'll give you the necessary paperwork to fill out to fix the global economic markets, but then make sure you staple them and return them to Roger by noon tomorrow.

What kind of crazy world do we live in?

[Reizu]

The kind that smells like blueberries.

How to you manage a farm?

[jkatra]

The first thing you do is move the farm into the downtown location of a major city like Chicago. Then you buy a condo downtown, and then you become civilized and hope someone dumb takes care of that farm for you.

Is it a magical experience to be under the sea?

[IronSulfide]

It's actually rather suffocating.

What happens when we die?

[aok]

Yes, once you drown, the DMT kicks in and then you're off in the nebula.

What makes an experience magical?

[venuspop]

When you don't have to pay for it.

Will you pay for a magical experience?

[Seriously]

Only if they take American Express.



why does my tongue stuck to an ice cube?

[jkatra]

Ice cubes love you. They always have, and they always will. They're willing to go all the way with you too so they melt in your arms.

Where can we find love?

[venuspop]

On a tennis court. May you have more of those.

Why is love blind?

[jkatra]

There are many ugly men and women in our society; it's to psychologically protect us.

How many children should a couple have?

[venuspop]

A couple.

Can a couple handle more than a couple?

[jkatra]

Only if the couple coupled coupling couple couple.
....
Couple! Couple Couple!

How often should I repeat things?

[venuspop]

As often as is necessary to get your message across.

Why can't you make your message clear in the first place?

[jkatra]

The first place was rented by an elderly couple. The second place is unaffordable. I might be able to qualify for the third place, but it faces a brick wall.

Why are rents high in major cities?

[venuspop]

Because the buildings in major cities are high-rise.

Are there any low rise cities?

[Seriously]

From the car fumes. But they don't inhale!

oops missed my que

hhmmm I think they only come in high waisted.


Why is egg yolk yellow?

[venuspop]

so it's easier to differentiate with egg whites.

How do you separate the egg yolk from the whites?

[Seriously]

Tell them the whites have been messing around with the blender. To get stiff.



What are area codes all about?

[venuspop]

A subtle discrimination you don't want to talk about.

Are areas loftier than parameters?

[QuantumEnigma]

It's a toss up between perimeters and parameters - only a hippopotamus with hypotenuse tendencies could decide.

Have you ever seen a hippopotamus in this area?

[venuspop]

It is rude to call my mother a hippopotamus.

Should we call her a rhinoceros instead?

[QuantumEnigma]

Perhaps being meeker than a mouse is a good call here.

What do you like to call your friend's mothers?

[venuspop]

If I told you, you'd probably slap me.

Would you?

[QuantumEnigma]

Entrapment! Are you an agent for PETA?

What would be a fun agency to work for?

[jkatra]

The Eternal Damnation Agency (EDA).

Why doesn't government work efficiently?

[Gerard91]

Because the grass isn't green like it should be.

Why do people dream about ruling the world when they can't even fully control their bodies?

[aok]

Because it's their world, we just live in it.

Why can't you completely control anything?

[Sprelious]

The government won't let me.

Why does the government spoil everything.

[venuspop]

Someone had to do it.

Are you spoilt?

[Sprelious]

I am absolutely positively maybe possibly spoiled.... Or not.

Are we clear?

[venuspop]

Crystal.

Where are the crystal skulls?

[jkatra]

In a bad Indiana Jones movie.

Are we mortal?

[Sprelious]

No, but we do require a Mortal Coil to operate properly.

Why is my battery almost dead?

[Gerard91]

Because you stabbed it.

Why are the Dutch people porn maniacs?

[gracious]

It's the perfect complement to an evening of hash, Grolsch and Gouda.

Why are some people pack rats while others are neat freaks?

[Fujimoto]

The neat freaks are the ones on methamphetamine.

How much Kleenex would it take for a human to create a large nest like a rat's nest?

[jkatra]

I don't know anything about the humans, but I can tell you that it would take about 27 Xarcthians to create a large Buuvgloiuu on the edge of the Xijjki Nebula.

Who should write a love letter to you?

[venuspop]

I'm not picky.

Will you?

[jkatra]

I will, but it will be impersonating someone else.

Who should fall in love with you?

[venuspop]

I'm not picky.

Will you?

[jkatra]

Please give me $500,000 and then I'll consider it.

Do you have $500,000?

[venuspop]

Maybe. Maybe not.

Will you give me a discount?

[jkatra]

I will give you a small, troublemaking monkey named Leroy.

Do you like what I just gave you?

[venuspop]

I have to decline your gift. I am allergic to monkeys.

What else can you offer?

[jkatra]

I can offer the heartwarming beauty of a sunset as the sun slowly sinks into the murky horizon and the passage of time reinforces your strength as a wise person.

Is that enough?

[venuspop]

It'll do.

Do what?

[jkatra]

Nothing. Nothing at all.

Are we sad now?

[venuspop]

Not particularly.

Is that bad?

[jkatra]

We must evolve beyond the need for good versus bad dualisms and transcend ourselves to embrace a greater reality.

Is that good?

[venuspop]

Only when you read between the lines.

What did you hide between the lines?

[jkatra]

Tapioca pudding.

How do you make tapioca pudding?

[venuspop]

With strawberry pies and cranberry juice.

Why am I not sleepy?

[jkatra]

You have evolved beyond the need for material engagement so don't require sleep, food and other material comforts.

Can you do cartwheels?

[venuspop]

Cartwheels are no longer necessary in today's mode of transportation.

Do you walk often?

[jkatra]

I've never walked, run, sat down, or done anything remotely mundane.

How much exercise do you get daily?

[venuspop]

Pages of them. My teacher is a slave driver.

Will you be my slave?

[jkatra]

I will be your butler, but only if I can allow my monkey named Leroy to help.

Why are you allergic to monkeys?

[venuspop]

They kept reminding me of my cousins.

Are you my cousin?

[jkatra]

I'm your father and I'm sending you to your room without any supper.

Do you have a room?

[venuspop]

I need to make more room for that awesome attitude.

How do you make more room for that awesome attitude?

[jkatra]

Build an attachment with plywood onto your existing house making an allowance for at least 50 feet clearing space away from your neighbor's backyard.

Who are your neighbors?

[venuspop]

The Jones.

How do you keep up with the Jones?

[jkatra]

To defeat the enemy you must become the enemy, so you'll need to become Indiana Jones.

Will you succeed in defeating the enemy?

[venuspop]

It depends on how large the enemy is.

Can you pick somebody your own size?

[jkatra]

I'm a size large, and it's often difficult to find a size large, medium or extra large in most major department stores, especially at this time of night.

Should you go shopping?

[venuspop]

Best way to keep visiting visitors away.

Are you visited by visiting visitors every weekend?

[jkatra]

During the weekends I climb to the top of the tallest mountain on the horizon and speak with the ghosts of magical talking dolphins while meditating on the transience of life.

What do you do during the weekend?

[venuspop]

I trounce sunsets into the horizon and beckon darkness upon us all.

Do you appreciate what I do?

[jkatra]

I've always taken you for granted because I'm a typical American.

Are you typical?

[venuspop]

I can be.

Is it difficult to can't be?

[aok]

It's more difficult to be.

Why do bees sting?

[jkatra]

You must have done something to annoy them, so stop doing that.

What is a mutual insurance company?

[IronSulfide]

A dating service.

Who is the man in the moon?

[Reizu]

Newt Gingrich.

Why do people dance?

[Lunammi]

By dancing people can travel in time.

Why do animals hear better than humans?

[jkatra]

Because the animals were listening to you have sex last night in the woods.

What is the toughest animal?

[Lunammi]

Obviously, an ant.

Why do people asks questions?

[Reizu]

To validate what they already know.

What is the Collective Unconscious?

[Lunammi]

It's a flavour of icecream.

What dreams are made of?

[Reizu]

Sausage, asparagus, and artificial flavoring.

Why are manhole covers round?

[jkatra]

Thats the way I like them... You gotta problem with that?

How old are you?

[Lunammi]

128

How tall are you?

[jkatra]

I am as tall as the mountains, as wide as the rivers, and as humble as a pro wrestler.

How do you make a map?

[X51]

Step 1. Find an 'm', the alphabet has been known to be a good place to start looking.

Step 2. Buy an 'a' at your friendly neighborhood home improvement store.

Step 3. Use some heat shrink to make a 'p'.

Step 4. Higher a lawyer so he can guide you through the process of putting the 'm', the 'a' and the 'p' in the right order while making your pockets a mighty bit lighter.

Drum roll... you have a 'map'!

If the plural of a mouse is mice, why is not the plural of a house, hice?

[GenessorDios]

My, it sounds like someone had his head squoze as a kid.

Would you like a boxen of doughnuts?

[discontinuous]

After this bowl of rouses.

What's the most important knot you learn in scouts?

[X51]

The one for the boxen of doughnuts.

Another rowl of bouses?

[GenessorDios]

The whoresnare has long been the pinnacle of skill for aspiring knotsmen.

What do plankton eat?

[jkatra]

Logarithms and Boy Scouts.

How do you become a hippy?

[venuspop]

Flowers in your hair, sleep with the grass and dance like a dervish.

Why does a dervish dance like a dervish?

[jkatra]

A dervish does not dance like a dervish, and if you truly understand that, then the ways of the universe will finally be revealed to you.

Why do we hiccup?

[venuspop]

Once you find out why we hiccup, you will truly understand the ways of the universe.

Does the universe hiccup?

[jkatra]

It sneezes and has evolved beyond the need for hiccups.

Are you groovy?

[venuspop]

No, I do not have any grooves on me so I can't be groovy.

Are you?

[jkatra]

I am rhythmic and jovial.

What do you have to tell me right now?

[venuspop]

I'm eating some peanuts while writing this.

Is that bad?

[jkatra]

That is extremely bad and it makes you one of the top most wanted criminals in the Northern Hemisphere.

Are you going to stop all the criminals?

[venuspop]

I will, if they're after my peanuts.

Are you after my peanuts too? :suspicious:

[jkatra]

Men always want women's peanuts.

What are the birds and the bees?

[Reizu]

"Birds" and "Bees" are code names for the CIA's top agents.

Why can't I find a decent eraser?

[venuspop]

In order to find a decent eraser, you must stop hanging out with indecent erasers at once.

How does indecency become you?

[EmmaKynikos]

it makes my butt look smaller.

where's the remote?

[Sprelious]

It's with the missing socks having a party and laughing their Ass off.

Why does Mold grow everywhere?

[reiven]

it's that stoopid song:
OOHHH
mold grows
where my rosemary goes
and nobody molds
liiiike meeee


what is testosterone?

[thebrainpolice]

Not sure, but Hillary Clinton seems to have an unlimited supply of it.

What will be the next "get rich quick" scheme?

[jkatra]

Evolve beyond the need for material goods and become rich in love and kindness by quickly making love to many people.

Where should you be right now?

[EmmaKynikos]

doing a lap dance for me.

what's over the rainbow?

[jkatra]

A small German village named Dachshund.

Who is very exciting?

[EmmaKynikos]

espridrille

can i have a light?

[jkatra]

Only by going deep into the darkness can you find the light. Ironic, isn't it?

What is sarcasm?

[EmmaKynikos]

it's in between letters alpha and beta.

why have a canopy bed?

[jkatra]

It's the same reason why anyone does anything: to be cool.

Where should you hold your next birthday party?

[GenessorDios]

If you change that to What & at, I'll present myself.

Is headbutting a wall therapeutic?

[Dung]

Only works with peanut butter.

Are you looking for your head again?

To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

[EmmaKynikos]

yes, that's how great ideas are born.

where is the bat cave?

[Dung]

In the attic.

Would you fancy, huh, whatever?

[EmmaKynikos]

only with you.

what's the best way to remove nostril hair?

[Dung]

Chop it off with a lawn mower.

Is it time for me to retire?

[GenessorDios]

Not yet, the next Sanchez is still way too clean.

Why do bodies float?

[Dung]

Because they're full of shit.

Who will lose the elections?

[GenessorDios]

I will, if you come over.

Wait, you said elections?

[jkatra]

People say many things sometimes, including erections.

What is logic?

[Simurgh]

The thing to the left of coffee and right of dog food.

Why is it not raining yet?

[jkatra]

It is raining, but only in your mind; we experience what we think, so you're experiencing a heavy rainshower in Delaware.

Where is Delaware?

[Fujimoto]

Easy, sir, we'll find Della soon enough, just calm down.

What would you do if you saw a giant ball of tuna fish, and it started talking to you?

[jkatra]

I would buy the giant ball of tuna fish a drink or two at a bar, start chatting about various topics, walk the giant ball of tuna fish home to its apartment, and if I get invited in, who knows what would happen next.

What happened in the 14th century?

[Fujimoto]

They were calling the 13th century outdated while the 12th worked its way back into popular fashion.

What is Paris Hilton doing these days?

[venuspop]

Funny you should ask. She just checked into a Knotting Club in Notting Hill where she intends to learn the reef knot which she will use with bad intent.

Have you ever been knotted?

[Fujimoto]

I have knot. ;)

Have you?

[venuspop]

Being knotted up can have interesting consequences.

Are you prepared for those consequences?

[GenessorDios]

No, I don't like to be cheated, much less multiple times.

What kind of message does someone kneeing me in the knee give?

[venuspop]

You should stop kneeing yourself. It wasn't your fault.

Whose fault was it?

[EmmaKynikos]

san andreas was at fault.

when's the best time to shout "bingo"?

[jkatra]

During sex.

Where do lions come from?

[GenessorDios]

They like to feel kingly, so usually it's atop cliffs.

Is my tea ready?

[jkatra]

Only by being ready for the tea can the tea be ready for you.

Where is my coffee?

[Sprelious]

Double Snaked - They're manufactured in Vietnam to take advantage of cheap labor.

Why is Vanna White?

[Fujimoto]

She married Barry White. Originally she was Vanna Black.

Why can't I stop playing Diablo II?

[jkatra]

Under federal law you are required to do so until a period of at least thirty (30) days have passed.

Who created federal law?

[IronSulfide]

Kevin Federline.

Who will be Britney Spears' next plaything?

[Sprelious]

IronSulfide

Won't that be fun?

[jkatra]

It will not be fun, and instead will be similar to a grueling, prolonged struggle.

Should we be celebrating something today?

[venuspop]

Absolutely! We should celebrate "It's 2012 but we're still alive Day."

Will all of us die on December 2012?

[Sprelious]

Aside from a few nut cases who probably commit suicide, we'll be fine.

Where will the next Earthquake strike?

[venuspop]

According to intelligence report, Yosemite.

Should we consult the unintelligent report?

[aok]

If you respect the media's opinion on the world at large.

What does nice mean to you?

[venuspop]

Nice is the opposite of mean.

What does mean mean?

[jkatra]

Mean is the average, median is the middle, and peanut butter is butter made of peanuts.

What is butter?

[venuspop]

A butter is a person who butt's butts.

Have you ever been butted?

[jkatra]

I have been calmly acknowledged and danced with, but never butted.

Should I butt you?

[venuspop]

Never! Or I'll have you buttered and toasted.

Have you ever been toasted?

[jkatra]

I have been calmly reasoned with and told what not to do, but never toasted.

Do you have some bread I could borrow?

[venuspop]

Is it the one made from yeast? :devilish:

Are you embarrassed by that question?