I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game

[Reizu]

By being an overview of the full work.

What does it all mean?

[reiven]

an itall is a small chain of islands, usually in a horseshoe pattern.

why was midway island named midway island?

[Reizu]

Because "All the Way Island" was already taken.

Why are insects so creepy?

[reiven]

creepy insects are the evolutionary final answer. bouncy insects drew too much attention to themselves, and still insects never got to eat.


what is the most nutritional paper product?

[Moxiie]

Easy peasy, that would be Spinach Paper

How many grains of sand are there in the world?

[reiven]

about a hundred.

what does hot water do?

[Gerard91]

It supports ozone zone.

What was the main cause Titanic's catastrophe?

[Moxiie]

Hot water is primarily a state of moral ineptitude

What are the purposes of worms?

[reiven]

to make cannes seem like a better, more cosmopolitan city.


what is a blunderbuss?

[jkatra]

Inadequate sexual performance.

Where can I find sex at this time of day?

[Moxiie]

A mode of transportation for the socially inept

parasites do they serve a greater purpose?

[reiven]

if you consider God to be a greater purpose, then yes. God has instituted a parasitic plague upon the world to render it feeble and dependent, setting the scene for the next great infomercial.


what is the thought behind porcelain figurines?

[jkatra]

Stop hiding behind those porcelain figurines and join us, you've been crouched over there for the past 3 hours.

What should penguins do at this point in their evolution?

[reiven]

give up the stage and go for cinema.
the big money is in hollywood.



what happens at a burlesque show?

[maddhatter]

Nothing, there's a blackout =3

What should a vampire do with a bottle of ketchup?

[jkatra]

Vampires need to sell more ketchup and retail merchandise if they want to integrate more effectively with our daylight-driven society.

What is society?

[maddhatter]

Coming from the word 'socialize' and 'poverty'. It means lack of social currency.

What Lady Gaga have in her hand?

[jkatra]

Lady Gaga is drinking peppermint tea while reading Nietzsche in an Italian cafe at midnight.

Why do philosophers think so much?

[Dysthe]

An impaired mind takes longer to grasp a single thought.
Why do I have to get older?

[jkatra]

Because you were told to, and you need to do what you're told.

Should we be concerned about France?

[Gerard91]

The only thing you should consider about France is their cuisine.

What if everything is just an illusion?

[jkatra]

Then we'll go about our lives as normal.

Is there a circus in town?

[Person056]

No but I saw a few white tigers roaming the streets.

How do they make asphalt?

[reiven]

asphalt happens when meth heads try to cook brownies at 2000 degrees F.


what is that popping sound in my ear?

[Dysthe]

A weasel.
In how many hours will I need a shower?

[reiven]

3,286 ish.


who will be the next president of america?

[Person056]

It doesn't matter, the US is governed by an outside resource.

Why do my sheets feel wet?

[Reizu]

Because they're made of pudding.

Why can't I get a job?

[Person056]

The employers think you're too good for them.

Why are there silent letters before words? (Like opossum or tsunami)

[Gerard91]

Because you're too smart and don't look good enough.

Is the cake a lie?

[Person056]

Only when it tells the truth.

If 2x+5=fish, then what ingredients should I use for pudding?

[Reizu]

Strange quarks.

What makes the world go 'round?

[reiven]

greek mythology


what is the most popular type of glass?

[Sprelious]

A recent survey revealed Fiberglass to be most popular.

What direction should you travel in to get to Neverland?

[reiven]

north by northwest. if you need to rest on the way, there is a sweet little motel run by the bates family about halfway there.


why did they break up ma bell?

[Sprelious]

It wasn't so much broken up as drawn and quartered.

Where is the last house on the left?

[Person056]

The bell got broken in the war.

How many licks does it take, really?

[reiven]

i'm going with the owl on this one.


what can you do with a degree in basket weaving?

[Sprelious]

A degree is a degree.

How many degrees is the surface of the sun?

[reiven]

phd
bs
mba...

three, i think.




what was paul revere's other job?

[Sprelious]

Wig Maker

How many of the original colonies made it into the union?

[reiven]

according to obama, all 57 (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).


what do you like most about bluegrass?

[jkatra]

I like how the blue grass of the planet Zenaria Prime is different from the green grass of Earth.

Where do you go to buy sandwiches?

[X51]

To a body shop down the street on Kepler-22b.

How do you know you are human?

[Sprelious]

I'm just as disgusting as everyone else.

How do you know when you're done?

[jkatra]

She taps you on your shoulder and says "Enough".

What is paper made out of?

[Sprelious]

Beeswax

How do you find a needle in a haystack?

[jkatra]

You politely ask the haystack to step aside.

Will dogs one day rule the world?

[Sprelious]

I thought they already did.

Is there a correlation between space junk and tides?

[jkatra]

The 1,748 variables impacting the situation have the same mean (7.5), standard deviation (4.12), correlation (0.816) and regression line (y = 3 + 0.5x).

Where can I find otters?

[Sprelious]

On the dark side of the Moon.

What is the shortest distance between two points?

[jkatra]

47th Street.

What is a hypocrite?

[Sprelious]

A doctor, because they take the oath.

How much money do doctors make?

[jkatra]

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics annual salary survey, the average family practice physician in the United States makes $3.57 billion.

How big is a billion?

[Reizu]

The square root of pi.

What time is it?

[Sprelious]

Time doesn't exist. Einstein was wrong and the whole world is flying apart.

How do we get to a unified field theory?

[jkatra]

^^Within the heart of the Source, that which we called time does not exist.

^We need to be uniters and not dividers.

How many lawyers are there?

[Dysthe]

Too few.
What do you do with a narcissist?

[jkatra]

You invite them to dinner, have a few drinks with them, and if everything goes according to plan, they go over to your apartment and you solve differential equations with them.

Are you a king?

[X51]

No i'm just his majesty's secretary for meaningless communication who has been appointed to make sure I don't fill in right answers to "The Wrong Answer Game" on intjforum.com (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).

Are you not a king?

[maddhatter]

Nope, as much as I like to be relate to Stephen, I'm not.

What is the sun doing in the middle of the day?

[QuantumEnigma]

Oh just hanging around like usual - lazy sun.

Are naps in the middle of the day good?

[reiven]

yes. cornrows are definitely for the evenings.


what is the next 'great' reality show theme?

[Moxiie]

Hillbilly Apple Bobbing

What is neither here nor there?

[Espadrille]

Everywhere.

Why is it taboo to go around naked in public?

[maddhatter]

Because people with small packages might be jealous and will start a war against those with bigger ones. Bloods will flow and people will die. Yep, it's taboo.

What to do if one wants to get rich?

[Gerard91]

The best way is to be born in wealthy family.

What is the best cure for INTP mania about being correct?

[jkatra]

Ask the INTP to consult with their primary care physician.

Why is healthcare so expensive?

[thebrainpolice]

Doctors constantly need to buy new latex gloves for all those prostate exams.

Why don't doctors just wash the gloves?

[aok]

They have to throw away the evidence.

Why do people still watch CSI?

[thebrainpolice]

Because the old people in retirement homes got tired of Matlock reruns.

Why do people cover their refrigerators with magnets?

[aok]

Because they don't have metal plates in their heads yet to stick it to.

Why do extroverts dominate the social contexts that people should generally function in to survive?

[reiven]

because extroverts tend to come from wealthy parents;
therefore they are the kids with the baseballs, footballs, soccer balls, etc.
so when you don't follow their protocols, they take their balls and go home.
rinse and repeat often enough, and eventually we just lay down and take it.


what is barometric pressure?

[GenessorDios]

Bad news for everyone around when your tummy's involved.

How many humans have lived on Earth so far?

[Gerard91]

Couple of hundred thousands, at least that's what Bible says.

Is there a way to get everything I want immediately?

[reiven]

are you wanting to include those who started out as animals and became human, those who stated out as human and became animals, and/or those who change during moon phases? the answer will vary based on the criteria.

why is snot made in the nose and wax made in the ear?

[Moxiie]

Back in the early 1900's there was a labor movement and the respective workers (nose and ear) unionized. They have demanded that they stay put in their respective places ever since.

what makes the Grand Canyon so grand?

[Sprelious]

It cost a grand to build it.

Why is "7" so edgy and "8" so elegant?

[Simurgh]

Elegance is an aesthetic value determined by 9.

How can we determine the difference between normative and popular values?

[jkatra]

Buy a math textbook that teaches you how to subtract the two.

Do we live in a yellow submarine?

[reiven]

yes.
it was our only escape after the eighth revolution, when mother superior jumped the gun.


what was charlie manson trying to accomplish?

[jkatra]

Greater social awareness of psychopaths so we could protect ourselves more effectively.

Where is trouble located?

[reiven]

in any book containing the words "onion breath'

what makes life so hard?

[Sprelious]

Blood fills the Corpora Cavernosa of life, causing hardening.

Why do birds return in the Spring?

[reiven]

because most of their creditors travel in the spring, and there is less chance of running into them.


what is the difference between a rifle and a shotgun?

[Sprelious]

Different fathers

What's the most unique item in the Smithsonian?

[reiven]

june cleaver's (barbara billingsly's) corset


where is the holy grail?

[Sprelious]

In a bar in New Jersey being used for Mai Tai's

What ever happened to Skeletor?

[reiven]

she married arnold schwarzenegger


what is the purpose of a cold shower?

[Gerard91]

Who cares.

Where is the cake?

[Sprelious]

They're essential when you think about Madeline Albright.

How do you get to the treasure on Oak Island?

[Moxiie]

That can only be accessed through a complicated process of molecular dissipation

What is the smallest thing in the world?

[reiven]

my haircare shelf


what is the best flavor of milkshake?

[Sprelious]

Pasta

What do you get when you cross David Bowie and Al Gore?

[Moxiie]

I do not prefer milkshakes because i cannot condone shaken cow syndrome

Who is the baddest ass in the world?

[reiven]

^^
♫ shame, whats your name, what's your name, what's your name ♪ ......


where do you find a good used wooden leg?

[Sprelious]

On a good used pirate.

Where do storks come from?

[reiven]

they breed storks on baby ranches.

where is santa domingo?

[Moxiie]

Santa Domingo is a commonly used vernacular for a porpoise vagina

where is that castle??

[Sprelious]

On a Chess Board.

Where is this Castle?

[jkatra]

It resides out yonder on the edge of the Darkridge Mountains overlooking the Frozen Lake of Terror.

Do you like to go fishing?

[Sprelious]

Only with Dynamite.

What is the maximum capacity of the Earth?

[jkatra]

3 people, so we have exceeded the capacity by a significant amount.

Where do most nice people live?

[X51]

Inside most nice Pineapples under the sea.

Why can we see only so many colors?

[Moxiie]

Because we are unable to channel aquatic eyesight. If we were able to that, the color spectrum becomes infinite

What is your definition of infinity?

[Sprelious]

It's a decent car, but I prefer the Mercedes.

What is the most corrupt form of Government?

[jkatra]

Substitute teachers who have strict rules in the classroom.

Where do we go from here?

[X51]

Back to the future!

Who is Eddie Irvine?

[discontinuous]

You are.

How can I be sure this question won't get a stupid answer?

[GenessorDios]

I guess you've got your answer.

Why do bureaucrats only like red?

[discontinuous]

Because if they didn't read it, it means they still have to.

What does the -crat suffix imply?

[jkatra]

It implies that a cat and a rat had a baby.

How do you make a kitten?

[discontinuous]

1. steal someone's avatar
2. open a closet and look inside a boot (1/65536 chance)

Which question is worse than this one?

[Fujimoto]

They all are. You've set the bar for shining, miraculous questions and should receive your official congratulations by mail in a few weeks.

Why do they call it shipping if it's by truck?

[Gerard91]

It's an old pirate tradition.

Who invented the light bulb?

[jkatra]

Truck drivers aren't very smart.

How do you walk?

[reiven]

i use the drag my ass across the carpet like a wormed dog method.


what is splenda made from?

[GenessorDios]

I thought it was a well-known fact that the product was originally patented as SpleenInABlenda, apparently not.

What was my point?

[reiven]

i think you have been explicit:
I woke so happy this morning; there were birds chirping, a soft breeze from the south, and reiven's wit waiting on the game threads.
Life is grand.


what will it take for an intp to get organized?

[thebrainpolice]

An act of God.

At what point does alcohol consumption become excessive?

[jkatra]

At point A on the way to point B and often point C.

When is your birthday?

[aok]

Leap year.

Why do some people actually think pickup trucks look good and/or cool?

[jkatra]

Because pickup trucks look good and are very cool.

Are you cool?

[EmmaKynikos]

Nah, trix are for kids.

How do I get rid of this headache?

[Sprelious]

Guillotine

What is the square root of infinity?

[jkatra]

The square of any positive or negative number is positive, and the square of 0 is 0. Therefore, no negative number can have a real square root. However, it is possible to work with a more inclusive set of numbers, called the complex numbers, that does contain solutions to the square root of a negative number. This is done by introducing a new number, denoted by i (sometimes j, especially in the context of electricity where "i" traditionally represents electric current) and called the imaginary unit, which is defined such that i2 = –1. Using this notation, we can think of i as the square root of –1, but notice that we also have (–i)2 = i2 = –1 and so –i is also a square root of –1.

Are we lost?

[aok]

I can't speak for everyone involved in we, but I find/found myself sitting in a chair.

What is your highest dimensional understanding? Can you describe it?

[jkatra]

That which is white is also black, and that which is black is also white.

Where can I buy a talking dolphin?

[aok]

Sea World.

Why do people say cheese when they're having their picture taken?

[EmmaKynikos]

Macy's

When's carnivale?

[jkatra]

^^There is a gun to their head.

^47 years ago.

Why does the color yellow make people happy?

[aok]

They believe yellow is rooted in the sun, which they worship by tanning and burning, this type of masochism makes them happy.

How do you live autonomously on minimum wage w/out relying on the government for financial support?

[jkatra]

You work for the government and systematically eliminate all the policymakers who set wages.

How are computer systems designed?

[reiven]

chimps on cocaine in business suits.


what causes tooth decay?

[Sprelious]

Microwave radiation from high voltage power lines. Shhhh, it's a secret.

What is the most reliable Airline?

[reiven]

orbitz has it's own fleet now, and they can't be beat.


where do gnats come from?

[Sprelious]

Gnats fly in through a dimensional rift. It's part of a plot by Aliens to take over the Earth.

What are the exact dimensions of Positrons?

[reiven]

roughly the size of an under inflated beach ball @ a moderate temperature range (72-86 degrees F)


what was the initial purpose for circumcision?

[Sprelious]

Jewish fathers didn't want to have to compete with their sons, so they had them cut back a little.

What is the purpose of Foot Binding?

[reiven]

it keeps them from wandering off after you've had a few brewskies.


what did the appendix do before it evolved into uselessness?

[Sprelious]

It was handy for reference before Google.

How many ways are there to skin a cat?

[thebrainpolice]

6 if you're doing it manually, 15 if you're using a cat skinning machine.

Why doesn't anyone want to buy the patent for my cat skinning machine?

[Sprelious]

Skinning politicians is much more fun.

How do you wear a cumberbun?

[Moxiie]

I have on numerous occasions attempted to wear a cumberbun intricately wrapped around my high heeled pumps, where it's supposed to be worn...I have failed at this. I am ashamed.

What was written in that note in the bottle?

[maddhatter]

The unpaid bill of your dinner on the cruise.

Why would anyone feel lonely?

[jkatra]

If you were chained up, thrown into a box, and cast to the bottom of the ocean, you might feel a little lonely too.

How do wizards cast their spells?

[gracious]

They use Boggle.

How much alcohol does it take to forget one's unhappiness?

[jkatra]

Zero, but a Starbucks frappucino will fix that in 5 minutes.

Where does coffee come from?

[aok]

Pablo Escobar

What's so great about being in the mafia?

[jkatra]

They give you free coupons for new office equipment, fruit smoothies and Broadway musicals.

What is the greatest show on earth?

[aok]

It must be the Super Bowling, where they get three strikes and they're out.

What will technology be like in 500 years?

[jkatra]

There will be no technology, and people will spend 85% of their time creating fruit smoothies which will be sold for 5 billion Earth credits to the Zaazeri Empire.

Where does light come from?

[QuantumEnigma]

Light comes from light bulbs, and bulbs come from Holland. Thanks to Holland, the world is never dark.

Where does light go to?

[jkatra]

It goes to a small pier in Portland, Maine.

How does a smartphone work?

[GenessorDios]

Hard, oddly enough.

How can glass weapons be stronger than steel?

[gracious]

If they have been submerged in salt water for a prolonged period.

Should I colour my hair REALLY dark or just MODERATELY dark?

[jkatra]

You should first stop using all capital letters to describe something and then you'll be calm enough to make the right choice.

Can I buy groceries at the stock market?

[Sprelious]

Perhaps, I don't really know what all the initials stand for.

How does a refrigerator work?

[gracious]

Usually rectangularly.

Who named google google?

[Sprelious]

Barney Fife.

How many bullets would Barney have if he was in New York?

[Moxiie]

None, Barney has been locked up in my basement for 3 years

Was that Fox really in Sox?

[Sprelious]

No. He had them painted on.

Do you like Green Eggs And Ham?

[Moxiie]

Green Eggs and Ham can only be eaten when Chicks with bricks and clocks and blocks come

Did those Tweedlebeedles really battle?

[reiven]

^^that's not funny.
i had a great great grand-cousin in the civil war who died from food poisoning, and his last journal entry was about green eggs. those poor kids were starving :(

^if you consider pissy sarcasm offer shoe choices 'battle', then yeah. i guess.

what was Hong King Fuey's super power?

[Moxiie]

He wrote a mean, mean book of Kung Fu

Did Grasshopper leave footprints or not?

[reiven]

no, but that rope-burn was nasty.
(too soon?) :laugh:



what material is best for ladies undergarments?

[Moxiie]

Hair, paper clips and duct tape....but only the finest softest hair.

Peanut butter, why bother?

[reiven]

it's pet friendly


why should i bathe?

[Moxiie]

there's no delicate way to put this,......you smell like bigfoots diaper

Is it true that you once parlayed with the Chupacabra?

[reiven]

when jupiter aligns with mars, i am chupacabra


other than worcestershire sauce, what else goes with peanut butter?

[Reizu]

Rotten bananas

Why is my TV old?

[Sprelious]

You set it up in a time warp.

Is there life on Mars?

[Reizu]

If you're talking about the Mars Strip club. While there's no intelligent life to be found, it has all the bacterial and parasitic life you could imagine.

Why are eyeballs round?

[Sprelious]

They double as marbles in a pinch.

Why do we need Oxygen to live?

[Reizu]

Because the feeling of joy when you first experience oxygen is so overwhelming that from then on you feel like you can't go on without it.

What is zero?

[Moxiie]

It's the number that precedes infinity and one

Do you really need that last wafer thin mint?

[jkatra]

Yes, I do, and if you take it, you'll destroy the last bit of dignified humanity I still have left in me.

Where is the party at?

[Moxiie]

It's about 1/2 mile away, 6th door, password: Mighty Mighty Bearded One

What was that thing?? Some sort of fossil??

[jkatra]

That was Ross Perot.

Should I wrestle elephants for free?

[Moxiie]

Never!! That is a truly marketable skill. I would do a quick market analysis of the current rates then double those.

Indonesia, yes or no?

[jkatra]

A cautious yes followed by a resolute no after going there for 5 minutes.

Where should wisdom be found?

[Moxiie]

In 4 buried teeth towards the back of your skull, extraction rids you of that pesky attribute

Knife throwing, sport or necessity?

[Sprelious]

In your back teeth

Do you listen to your teeth?

[gracious]

No, I hate to listen to them chattering.

Why should I switch to those curly lightbulbs?

[Sprelious]

Just like the curly French fries, they have less fat.

African or European?

[aok]

Antarctican

Why do a lot of people need foreplay to transition towards having sex?

[gracious]

Well if there are a lot of people involved then you can imagine how the sparks from all that friction could ignite nearby aerosols and other flammable gases.

What is the best day of the week to test that theory?

[Sprelious]

Fuckday

Where would be the best place to find one of these events?

[jkatra]

January is the best place to find it.

What is the number seven?

[Moxiie]

the number 7 is a philosophical framework first observed by the ancient Atlantean midget societies...it acknowledges that honey is in actuality what human spirit is made of

Why?? Goddammit, WHY??!!

[jkatra]

Because it's necessary, it's always been necessary, it always will be necessary, and it's required under federal law.

Who wants hamburgers?

[aok]

I don't want any ham in my burgers, thank you.

How can you tell the difference between a hippie and a metal-head?

[GenessorDios]

Sick pigs, mostly.

Set them on fire. They both have distinctive shrieks; you'll be able to distinguish between them after seven or so of each.

What is the music of life?

[aok]

The heart beating eardrums.

How do you improve the quality of your ear drummers?

[jkatra]

Listen to 1960's latin jazz.

How do you speak Italian?

[GenessorDios]

Just papiti poopi all over the place.

The heart beating eardrums.You are not worthy.

What is life's greatest illusion?

[reiven]

they think just because they put a picture of some guy on the cover, we're gonna believe that he's the man of the year.


what causes intestinal gas?

[Artio]

Let me quote Wikipedia, so I get it right:
"Parasites can get into the intestine by going through the mouth from uncooked or unwashed food, contaminated water or hands, or by skin contact with larva infected soil. When the organisms are swallowed, they move into the intestine, where they can reproduce and cause symptoms."

Does it hurt to be doomed?

[aok]

It kills.

What triggers a person's delusion of dictatorship?

[venuspop]

It always had something to do with their height. Short people have tall dreams.

How tall are your dreams?

[aok]

Moderate.

What does the id look like?

[venuspop]

Young, for its age.

How tall is a tall order?

[aok]

As tall as a Washington DC obelisk.

What's the best way to rid of a tall order?

[jkatra]

Walk away from it quickly and confidently, and don't make direct eye contact with it.

Why is the universe so big?

[gracious]

It bought a device that was advertised in its email spam and it really did make it bigger.

Can good luck be manufactured?

[Sprelious]

You can manufacture potluck, will that do?

What's the guarantee on manufactured potluck?

[jkatra]

We make no secret of the fact that making customer service our number one priority is how we've managed to grow from a small business into a large international franchise network, and we're determined to keep it that way. So here's our Gold Medal Service Guarantee: In the unlikely event that you have any cause for dissatisfaction with the service provided, please call us within seven days and we will happily come again to rectify any service problems, absolutely free of charge. [NB - In the case of pest control services (available in Queensland only) we also offer a six month guarantee on our cockroach, ant and silverfish treatments.] Of course, we also love hearing your positive feedback. Your comments are always welcome, either directly to your service representative, or anonymously by telephone or to our website. Remember, our goal is to make your life easier!

Why do people bore me?

[aok]

Because you're relying on them for entertainment/stimulation.

Why is it people's duty to alleviate your boredom?

[discontinuous]

It is their due to their unkeen procedure that I find myself bored in the first place, so it's like being a nice guest and "mopping up your mess".

What are phreakers doing to spend their time nowadays?

[Sprelious]

Phucked if I know.

Was Grant really a drunk?

[jkatra]

I don't keep track of events in the outside world.

Should we dance?

[Sprelious]

We should, but we can't. While we were ignoring the outside world they passed a law against it.

Should we fight City Hall.

[jkatra]

We should fight City Hall because it's an inanimate object that was placed in the center of the city, and that's annoying. There should have been a park there.

How do you do computer programming?

[GenessorDios]

Ok, I guess you should start with a virtual condom, figure out a way to digitize yourself and tAke it from there. Alternatively, you could print it all out and just go to town.

they think just because they put a picture of some guy on the cover, we're gonna believe that he's the man of the year.You are not worthy.

What is the coolest phone number?

[QuantumEnigma]

1-800-SUB-ZERO

Is Celsius really that much better than Fahrenheit?

[GenessorDios]

Celsius is level-headed but Fahrenheit just mood swings all over the place.

How does one escape from prison?

[QuantumEnigma]

According to the Matrix, you just need to free your mind and have a grudge against spoons.

What is a fun thing to do with a spoon? (please don't make me sorry for going here...)

[jkatra]

Using it as a table.

What is ironic?

[GenessorDios]

This answer isn't.

How can sleepiness be neutralized?

[jkatra]

Use an anti-sleepiness neutralization ray on your utility belt.

Are you a superhero?

[aok]

I ain't fly.

What's the most efficient way to get an ulcer?

[thebrainpolice]

Become a regular poster in the politics subforum.

Which is bigger, a shit ton or an ass load?

[jkatra]

I never measure things that I don't like.

Why are you awesome?

[gracious]

Because I keep it hidden so successfully.

How could I make it more apparent?

[Sprelious]

Maybe a firey avatar

Do trolls troll

[gracious]

Yes, but only the three billy goats gruff.

Why do the best fairy tales come from Norway?

[Sprelious]

Because the endings are better. The Finnish don't finish well.

What are we training our children for with Lolipops?

[gracious]

How profitable dentistry can be.

Why was it necessary to market the Super Big Gulp?

[Fujimoto]

So we can nurture the next generation of competitive eaters.

What will the next larger 7-11 beverage size be?

[Sprelious]

The "Pick It Up With A Truck Gulp"

Why do you keep snaking me?

[aok]

Because I have no spine.

Why do you keep horsing around?

[jkatra]

Because he is an actual horse who has been trained for many years to interact with humans at the most basic level (participating on forum games).

Where will you be at noon tomorrow?

[venuspop]

London. To look at the queen.

What about you?

[jkatra]

I will be meditating in ruminative silence while speculating about alternate future scenarios and their probabilities of shifting fruition.

How do you meditate?

[venuspop]

By doing the "ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...." thingy.

Can you do the "ummmmmmmm..." thingy too?

[jkatra]

I can only do the "hmmmmmmmmmmmmm" thingy.

Why do we sometimes call things thingies?

[venuspop]

Because whatchamacallit is too long and difficult to spell.

Can a spell be spelt?

[jkatra]

Only if you cast a powerful spelling spell that only the top wizards and warlocks know how to cast.

Are you a wizard?

[venuspop]

I have been called worse.

What is worser than worse?

[jkatra]

Nothing. To go beyond worse is to dip into the realm of the impossible and never return.

Should you go everywhere while riding a unicycle and wearing a gorilla costume?

[venuspop]

So you're that gorilla riding the unicycle on my front lawn yesterday ruining my azaleas and roses!

What happened to David Copperfield?

[jkatra]

He disappeared... that is what he does really well... but he couldn't re-appear... he isn't good at that.

What is magic?

[venuspop]

Now you see me, now you don't. That's magic. Nothing to do with being online or off.

Are you offline now?

[jkatra]

I am always online, and if I'm offline, I'm still here in spirit.

Are you here in spirit?

[venuspop]

Yes. It's methylated and I'm not allowed to tell you how.

Are you allowed to listen to me tell you how?

[jkatra]

I'm allowed to do anything; I live by my own rules and my imagination.

What would you like to imagine?

[venuspop]

My estate in the countryside with a brook running into a lake teeming with fishes, a boat-house by this lake, well kept garden, a self-sustaining farm well away from the house, a butler, chambermaid, 300 servants so I never have to lift a finger for anything.

Can you handle that?

[jkatra]

You should also not have to lift a toe for anything. Toes often work harder than fingers in the lifting category; they have much ground exposure.

How many toes do you have?

[venuspop]

Bending over to count exposes me to all sorts of danger.

Are you dangerous?

[jkatra]

I'm a sexy rebel that plays by his own rules, so I guess I am a little dangerous. I'm going to ride on my motorcycle now while wearing my black leather jacket.

Are you turned on?