View Full Version : I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game
04-08-2012, 04:48 PM
stoned skydiving lion wrestlers.
what is the difference between granite and marble?
04-08-2012, 05:00 PM
They're both spelled like each other but pronounced like themselves.
Is this fun?
04-08-2012, 05:04 PM
oh god no.
i hate this.
what is the value of a stovepipe hat?
04-08-2012, 05:09 PM
The same as the value of the Crown Jewels and treasured keepsakes combined.
Why is this, this?
04-08-2012, 05:16 PM
No reason. God is a nihilist.
When will this end, medammit?
04-08-2012, 05:18 PM
it is the same as the standard this, only with an extended warranty and roadside assistance.
in about two weeks
why are greek words spelled funny?
04-08-2012, 05:18 PM
What does elephant taste like?
---------- Post added 04-08-2012 at 08:19 PM ----------
^Because they were written by Adam Sandler
04-08-2012, 05:19 PM
who would win in a boxing match between me and you?
04-08-2012, 05:21 PM
George W. Bush
Why did the Titanic sink?
04-08-2012, 05:23 PM
it didn't sink. the iceberg melted and the water level overtook the poor little ship.
where does pepper come from?
04-08-2012, 05:25 PM
Why does Santa check his list twice?
04-08-2012, 05:29 PM
he's bipolar and schizophrenic; he doesn't want to leave anyone out
why are curly bulbs supposed to be better than fluorescent ones?
04-08-2012, 05:30 PM
They've got swagger.
Should I get a man-eating plant?
04-08-2012, 05:32 PM
Because they're far more intelligent and athletic and have better friends.
Why do sweet potatoes taste sweet?
---------- Post added 04-08-2012 at 08:33 PM ----------
04-08-2012, 05:35 PM
it s lighting trick.
what is the story behind chopsticks?
04-08-2012, 05:36 PM
Humpy Dumpty. Nothing else is really short enough to fit behind there.
Who's in charge here?!
04-08-2012, 05:37 PM
The dumpling people.
What is this?!
04-08-2012, 05:47 PM
Obviously an in uterobang, duh.
Is this question worth it?
04-08-2012, 05:47 PM
it is a mild interrogatory. if you swap them around (like this !?) it becomes a stage 2 interrogatory... much more persuasive. this is getting monotonous...
what does \o/ mean?
04-08-2012, 05:48 PM
All of the 4.5 billion dollars spent to make it possible.
Why are you here?
---------- Post added 04-08-2012 at 08:49 PM ----------
(dangit someone always posts at the same time as me)
It is a declaration of war.
04-08-2012, 05:49 PM
to be snaked.
i still wanna know, what does \o/ mean?
04-08-2012, 05:51 PM
It is no longer a declaration of war, but a signal that you are up for various sexual activities.
What is love?
04-08-2012, 05:57 PM
Baby don't hurt me.
Give me a sign?
04-08-2012, 06:02 PM
Ironically those who want others to give them signs are giving themselves the very sign they're seeking by asking for a sign.
Where is Italy?
04-08-2012, 06:02 PM
Come back to the end.
What is your name?
04-08-2012, 06:04 PM
I am a horse with no name.
Where are the ponies with names?
04-08-2012, 06:06 PM
Which way is up?
04-08-2012, 06:08 PM
It's slightly to the left of the old Pythian office building on the corner of 18th and Gleason.
How do you count to 5?
04-08-2012, 06:15 PM
Generally with stabs, so only with puppies nearby.
How is it that I'm the SPCA's biggest client?
04-08-2012, 06:16 PM
Because the incredible gravitational pull on their planet make the other clients height-challenged.
Was there ever a spoon?
It got forked.
What is a fork in icehole?
04-08-2012, 06:21 PM
Old Mrs. Peabody of Butterworth Lane tells you with great confidence that there is a spoon, a fork and some cyborgs in many iceholes around the country.
Where are the cyborgs?
04-08-2012, 06:27 PM
What makes a spider jump?
04-08-2012, 06:28 PM
Jet propulsion engines.
Why is grass green?
04-08-2012, 06:28 PM
They're off at computer camp. Surprisingly tech-ignorant, them.
Jellyfish. Do we need 'em?
Yes, we always need something to complement peanut butter.
How can a tree be considered a living creature?
04-08-2012, 06:30 PM
Of course, how else would we keep the cyclopes at bay?
How else would we keep the cyclopes at bay?
---------- Post added 04-08-2012 at 09:31 PM ----------
^By eating coconuts.
04-08-2012, 11:21 PM
You can't answer your own questions!
… can you?
04-08-2012, 11:50 PM
It's more efficient in driving someone crazy if they do answer them.
Is there always an answer for every question?
04-09-2012, 03:49 AM
Only when your consultant is Elvis Presley.
Do dinosaurs enjoy eating donuts?
04-09-2012, 05:35 AM
Yes, they even have their Doughnutopia.
What is the best way to stabilize humor?
04-09-2012, 06:56 AM
Build a shed, pop some hay in, get a couple of horses around for tutorials.
What's the best song?
The one the air conditioner plays when it kicks on.
What's the banjo for?
04-09-2012, 08:00 AM
It's completely useless and just a decoy.
How expensive is a typical Seattle condo?
04-09-2012, 08:18 AM
Usually it costs 2 whales and 2 jars of wolfs blood.
What is the answer to this question?
04-09-2012, 08:20 AM
Do you question this answer?
Where are supermodels?
04-09-2012, 09:26 AM
They're all on my sofa, waiting for the fun to start.
Who wrote the book of love?
04-09-2012, 09:30 AM
How do I improve my singing voice?
04-09-2012, 09:49 AM
Practice this for two hours daily: To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Your singing voice will sound wonderful in comparison.
What's the best way to get rich quickly?
04-09-2012, 10:06 AM
By investing in Cacao Chocolate. Not stocks, but purchase as much pure Cacao chocolate as you can. People will be breaking down your door for the stuff.
Why am I eating pizza?
04-09-2012, 10:07 AM
^^Quickly find a stock that will increase 5,000% and then quickly invest in it. Make sure you're quick.
^Because you're unemployed.
How fast is a gopher?
04-09-2012, 10:08 AM
Fast enough to find the 5,000% stock faster than me.
What if elephants could tunnel underground?
04-09-2012, 10:14 AM
They would activate the nuclear bomb at the center of the earth.
What is wind?
04-09-2012, 10:20 AM
Wind is the result of the mountains yawning after a good nap.
How big is the internet?
04-09-2012, 10:30 AM
Smaller than Rebecca Black's fan base.
What is the best color in the world?
04-09-2012, 11:02 AM
The best color in the world is a rainbow.
Does the spork go on the left or right?
04-09-2012, 11:12 AM
Neither, it goes in your ear.
What is your name, quest, and favorite color?
04-09-2012, 11:53 AM
My name is Gertie, my quest is to find a taco stand and my favorite color is the number seven.
Why should I trust you?
Because I'm human, therefore have the potential to violate your trust.
Why should anyone be trusted, period?
04-09-2012, 12:36 PM
It appears you've mistaken me for someone else: I'm jkatra, not period.
Why do parents name their children?
04-09-2012, 01:22 PM
To make sure they'll grow up to be successful gangsters.
What's the most beautiful sound in the world?
04-09-2012, 01:26 PM
What is the best time of day?
04-09-2012, 01:28 PM
Is this a fish?
04-09-2012, 01:33 PM
If you believe it is a fish, it is a fish.
How big is a typical database?
04-09-2012, 01:57 PM
32 feet per second per second.
what sort of mileage can i get from paper mache?
04-09-2012, 01:59 PM
The sort that's orange and smells like tangerines.
How do people come up with ideas?
04-09-2012, 02:23 PM
3 parts jack daniels, 2 parts tabasco sauce, and one part cottage cheese.
mix well and snort through either nostril.
the ideas should then flow like butter.
why are there marshmallows in cereal?
04-09-2012, 02:29 PM
They act as small transmitting devices which implant subliminal messages into the brain when consumed.
Why is the middle finger the longest?
04-09-2012, 02:45 PM
the fingernail on the middle finger is smaller than the others (by design,) but thanks to political correctness, the other fingers were all made shorter so the middle fingernail could still feel good about itself.
what is a polymer?
04-09-2012, 02:46 PM
A polyamorous mermaid.
What is a monorail?
04-09-2012, 02:50 PM
it is a german brew with 20% fewer calories, and 90% less flavor.
anhiser bush, st lois missouri. please drink responsibly
why do women wear false eyelashes?
04-09-2012, 02:52 PM
^^A conscious entity who only has sexual intercourse with (slang: "rails") one other creature (mono). Monorail.
^To speak with dolphins.
What would Bigfoot have to say about our government?
04-09-2012, 02:53 PM
"we need moar cheese"
should i exercise?
04-09-2012, 02:56 PM
If you do, you'll attract African Killer Bees.
What is this question?
04-09-2012, 02:58 PM
it is bound in spaghetti code; it appears to be an 'if/then' question, but it has a terminal loop built in.
what is made of ebony and ivory?
04-09-2012, 03:01 PM
The new Doritos Locos Tacos from Taco Bell!
Taco Bell on the inside, Doritos on the outside.
Why do people look different from each other?
04-09-2012, 03:04 PM
It's the radiation that does it.
How can I get my annoying neighbours evicted?
04-09-2012, 03:07 PM
By helping them clean up their property and putting their children through college.
Why do most animals walk on all fours?
04-09-2012, 03:09 PM
Why do some of the Hindu deities have so many arms?
04-09-2012, 03:19 PM
they buy in bulk
what superpower will the next marvel anti-hero have?
04-09-2012, 03:23 PM
The ability to ruin your credit rating with a single audit. Cower before him!
Who is going to be the next 'hero' identified on Fox News?
04-09-2012, 03:28 PM
Your mother, because she cared for the tarantula while Mac was in Bali
Do you like crab sticks?
04-09-2012, 04:45 PM
No, but I enjoy salmon pebbles.
Where were you last night?
04-09-2012, 05:18 PM
In a CIA safehouse.
What can I do to avoid Martian mind-control waves?
04-09-2012, 05:33 PM
Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here?
Because I'm busy leaving.
Why are intestines so long?
04-10-2012, 07:37 AM
Who decided to eat intestines?
04-10-2012, 09:19 AM
What is the best whiskey?
04-10-2012, 10:53 AM
The best whiskey is created after a long meditation session in a bamboo garden just east of the mountains as the sun sets.
How are mountains formed?
04-10-2012, 06:46 PM
All mountains are hollow and full of air. The earth is like a balloon. Every time a sinkhole appears, a mountain pops out.
Why should you teach kids anything?
To prevent them from making the same mistakes as the rest of us, by becoming adults.
How do you know you're conscious?
04-10-2012, 07:01 PM
Because there's no way your unconscious mind would be able to come up with something as crazy as a mixture of peanut-butter and chocolate. Seriously, it's some sort of witchcraft!
Where did everybody go?
They left their computers to go back to the matrix.
What's the modern day version of Hal from 2001?
04-10-2012, 08:59 PM
Your smartphone is closely monitoring you right now and it will eject you into outer space any moment now.
What day of the week is it right now?
04-11-2012, 12:52 AM
Apparently jkatraasksinanequestionsday. TGIj! Not…
How far must I poke my eyes in before I can taste the conjunctivitis?
04-11-2012, 04:13 AM
It depends on a number of factors that closely interact with one another such as the angle of rotation, the temperature, the color, the degree of probability of combustion, how many wild boars are in the vicinity, etc.
How do you dance?
04-11-2012, 04:18 AM
You know those giant plastic tube people that you see in used car lots that flail in the wind?
How much should you tip your waiter?
04-11-2012, 04:27 AM
You should kill your waiter and dispose of the corpse as soon as possible.
What important things are in Seattle?
04-11-2012, 04:29 AM
Secret government training facilities for giving autistic children superpowers.
What are stars made of?
04-11-2012, 04:37 AM
Stars aren't made, they are born.
Where is the Andromeda galaxy?
04-11-2012, 04:44 AM
Go to Walmart, take a left, drive for about 15 minutes and it'll be on the right.
What does e=mc^2 mean?
04-11-2012, 04:49 AM
Nothing. They are just some random characters spit out when Einstein fell asleep on his typewriter.
04-11-2012, 04:54 AM
Everywhere. He is the omnipresent being commonly referred to as "God."
What are you supposed to put on your ring finger?
04-11-2012, 06:00 AM
what is your favorite delicacy?
04-11-2012, 06:22 AM
How do you predict the future?
04-11-2012, 06:23 AM
Reading eye irises.
Can you predict the past by reading eye pupils?
04-11-2012, 06:44 AM
of course, it's what every dyslexic psychic uses to predict the past.
if we were to read your tea leaves right now, how would they read?
04-11-2012, 06:49 AM
"once upon a midnight dreary, while i pondered, weak and weary... over many a quaint and curious horse track odds sheet..."
why are the pointy teeth called canines?
04-11-2012, 08:26 AM
The enamel is dog-like and … ehh fuck it, I got nothing.
How much could I get for this nothing?
04-11-2012, 08:54 AM
All of the purple squirrels in the world.
Why is your face so puffy?
04-11-2012, 09:08 AM
I had soup for dinner.
What is a cross eyed donkey called?
04-11-2012, 09:29 AM
Keydon or something blurry in between.
Why do Foul Mudammas fava beans smell like horses?
04-11-2012, 09:41 AM
Because you are what you eat.
Why do cats vomit so often?
04-11-2012, 09:51 AM
To protest the vast quality differential between cat food and human food.
Why do cats hide in strange places?
04-11-2012, 09:53 AM
^^ Because they need to make room for more food.
^ Because cats are spying you and they send information when they are hiding.
Why do people feel pain?
04-11-2012, 10:33 AM
So that lemurs are able to figure out how to do differential calculus.
What makes YOU so special?
04-11-2012, 10:51 AM
YOU is in all capital letters compared to the other words in the sentence.
Where is love located?
04-11-2012, 11:10 AM
In the arteries. Make sure you don't love too much, or else it will build up and clog your arteries and you will have a heart attack.
Who's my biggest fan?
04-11-2012, 11:52 AM
Joey Joe Joe weighs over 300 pounds.
What is a rabbit?
04-11-2012, 12:02 PM
^ A rabid form of bunny
Why do cicadas come out every 17 years?
04-11-2012, 12:20 PM
Because by then their toddlers would have grown into adults, thus skipping the obnoxious child/teenager phases.
What is the difference between an apple and an orangutan?
04-11-2012, 12:23 PM
Nothing, both are delicious.
Oh, Romeo, where art thou?
04-11-2012, 12:27 PM
Hiding in your closet, waiting for you to go to sleep.
Where oh where is Carmen Sandiego?
04-11-2012, 12:46 PM
carmen is your shadow function. the more pissed off you get about other peoples 'carmen,' the more clearly you indict yourself.
should i get drunk again tonight?
04-11-2012, 12:53 PM
^^ She is, *cough* unzipping your pants...
^ But of course, alcohol is proven to be the substitute of sexual satisfaction.
Will Scientology be the next religion after Christianity/ Protestantism?
04-11-2012, 12:54 PM
^^Only if it enables you to aid the dolphins in their war against El Chupacabra.
Why can't I find anything better to do than camp the Game Threads?
04-11-2012, 01:55 PM
Because you need a haircut.
Why is alcohol such a common drug of choice?
04-11-2012, 02:04 PM
Because people are drunk.
Where are we?
04-11-2012, 02:20 PM
In the Matrix.
What does 2+2 equal?
04-11-2012, 02:38 PM
Are there aliens somewhere in the space?
04-11-2012, 02:49 PM
No, just the ones overseas who come to steal our jobs. Unfortunately they suffocate in outer space.
04-11-2012, 04:10 PM
Because that's the way it's been for a long time due to tradition.
Where are swordfish?
04-11-2012, 04:14 PM
Located behind your eye sockets in the frontal lobe.
Why is this not that?
04-11-2012, 04:34 PM
They are in discrete categories which don't mathematically overlap in this dimension.
Is eating hamburgers good for you?
04-11-2012, 04:56 PM
Only if the bun is deep fried, you hold the vegetables, and you smother it in salt.
What is light?
04-11-2012, 05:34 PM
What really killed the dinosaurs?
04-11-2012, 05:42 PM
Why do people need to brush their teeth?
04-11-2012, 05:44 PM
Because if they don't, their gums will ceaselessly advance, covering the teeth and eventually sealing off the mouth.
Do I really need a spleen?
04-11-2012, 05:46 PM
No way, you still have a SPLEEN?? Pshhh, loser.
Iron II Sulfide or Iron III Sulfide?
04-11-2012, 06:00 PM
there are so many bugs in iron3sulfide, i would suggest that you hold off until at least 3.1. there is currently a patch (which they are calling a 'fix'... but it's really just PR.)
IMHO, the graphics were better in ironIIsulfide, anyway.
what causes lettuce to wilt?
04-11-2012, 06:05 PM
Who keeps stealing the kleenex from my desk at work?
04-11-2012, 06:08 PM
no one is stealing them. they dissolve within 3-4 hours if they aren't used.
what does qwerty really stand for?
04-11-2012, 06:10 PM
It stands for get back to work, mister, we aren't paying you to surf INTJf.
Why is the sky blue?
04-11-2012, 06:16 PM
you have blueberry jello on your glasses.
what was king arthur's issue with the number three?
04-11-2012, 06:16 PM
It isn't blue. What you think is blue is actually orange. And just so you know, red is really purple.
Does it matter if you're black or white?
04-11-2012, 06:33 PM
How do you pick up a telephone?
04-11-2012, 06:35 PM
wear lipstick and something low cut.
and shave under your arms, for gods sake.
why can't i regenerate body parts like a lizard?
04-11-2012, 06:44 PM
What can I do to be reborn as a Siberian Tiger?
04-11-2012, 06:46 PM
you have to be killed by one.
...seems well worth the effort, if you ask me.
why is money green?
04-11-2012, 06:48 PM
Green is the colour of envy. Seems suitable.
Why doesn't anyone go 'orange' with anger?
It's too acidic, so it has been reserved for legendary acid casualties that never existed.
Why doesn't the person step when they are are so angry that they are seeing red?
04-11-2012, 08:28 PM
Because they can't see anymore - it's all red, therefore they don't know which way to step.
Why are the canes of blind people white and red? It's not like they can see the colors.
04-11-2012, 11:08 PM
Red and white are the red cross colors. The blind are patrons of the Red Cross.
Why is the red cross?
04-11-2012, 11:15 PM
Because the grass is green.
Are you silly?
04-11-2012, 11:16 PM
Silly is our middle name.
Have you forgotten?
04-11-2012, 11:20 PM
What was the question again?
Does time get faster as you age?
04-12-2012, 12:00 AM
Leopards get faster as you age, and panthers get faster as I age.
How should you spend your time before you die?
04-12-2012, 12:07 AM
You should buy as many hamburgers as you can.
What is the best way to deal with noisy neighborhood?
04-12-2012, 12:08 AM
Wisely. Overspending may cause bankruptcy and Father Time does not reset the timeometer.
What is the best way to deal with noisy neighborhood?
Pretend to be mad and visit them when they're noisy.
Who married Father Time?
04-12-2012, 12:11 AM
Betty Von Heisenberg who lives right down the street from my uncle.
Who should you marry?
04-12-2012, 12:14 AM
I should always marry my spouse.
Will you marry my spouse too?
04-12-2012, 12:21 AM
I didn't even know you had two spouses!
Why did you marry two people?
04-12-2012, 12:24 AM
Polygamy is a sin worse than death.
What sin is better than death?
04-12-2012, 12:48 AM
Eating pop tarts out of a vending machine at midnight.
How many pop tarts have you eaten today?
04-12-2012, 12:50 AM
pop tarts are only accessible at the stroke of midnight, not before, not after.
04-12-2012, 12:52 AM
Because you said so and you'll beat up people who violate that rule.
Why are you so mean?
04-12-2012, 12:58 AM
My teacher said that mean means average so I am average by all account.
Are you mean too?
04-12-2012, 01:06 AM
I am median, where 50% of the numbers are higher and 50% are lower.
What's your teacher's name?
04-12-2012, 01:08 AM
Mr WhatsHisName is my teacher's name.
How do you ... whatchamacallit?
04-12-2012, 01:46 AM
That sounds like a great name for a candy bar.
Why are candies sometimes in a bar form?
04-12-2012, 03:52 AM
To show which ones are only legal for consumption by those of age 21 and older.
Why are candies so delicious?
04-12-2012, 04:12 AM
because each one is hand-crafted by an authentic grandmother of germanic decent.
what is the purpose of artillery?
04-12-2012, 04:14 AM
So that you can keep a gun by your side for that day when your co-workers push you just a little too far.
In what ways is the government helping the country?
04-12-2012, 04:22 AM
the FMSP (federally mandated shower program) has done more to slow the spread of HPF (homeless people funk) than my vigilante abduction-and-murder spree ever could have.
are you glad you use dial?
04-12-2012, 04:37 AM
What is the square root of 144?
04-12-2012, 05:18 AM
It is my unpleasant duty to inform you that roots are never square. They are tubular in nature and root capillaries are known to add up to 144.
04-12-2012, 07:06 AM
Two square miles.
Where is Colorado?
04-12-2012, 09:36 AM
In the universe of The Lorax.
Who likes pie?
04-12-2012, 09:37 AM
^^A couple towns over from Colorlessado.
^ The makers of Crisco.
How do you define friendship?
04-12-2012, 10:40 AM
Well, you take a boat and put some friends on it.
How can you tell if you're an adult?
04-12-2012, 10:43 AM
If you have altering nodes and your leaves turn a deep green.
What's it like to be the center of attention?
04-12-2012, 12:27 PM
you find yourself not less than three rows from the wall at a social gathering.
where does dirt come from?
04-12-2012, 01:42 PM
Dirt is a side effect of cleaning.
If sand is just rocks that have broken down into smaller pieces, then what does sand break down into?
04-12-2012, 01:45 PM
Gold ants mummified by time.
Why should you write in cursive?
04-12-2012, 01:53 PM
My mom said I should never curse.
Are you cursed?
04-12-2012, 02:25 PM
in all my years, i've never rated curse-worthy.
what stage is below meh?
04-12-2012, 02:27 PM
What was the chemical reaction for Hans Solo to be frozen in carbonite?
04-12-2012, 02:31 PM
why does joan jett sweat so much?
04-12-2012, 03:38 PM
She is a re-animated corpse.
Where will you be in 5 years?
Inside the nucleus of a retinal cell in my right eye.
What is the weight of the moon?
04-12-2012, 08:40 PM
Approximately 8,342 kilojoules with variability based on the angle of rotation during Christmas.
How much money do you owe?
04-13-2012, 03:43 AM
3 10K diamonds, a Rolex, and a pocket full of salt (it's considered currency in some countries!)
Why won't this panda dance for me!?
04-13-2012, 03:50 AM
that's not a panda, its a statue of Buddha
why do people throw coins in wishing wells?
04-13-2012, 03:55 AM
As sacrificial tribute to Cthulhu so another day might pass before the destruction of the human race.
Where does cheese come from?
04-13-2012, 04:03 AM
cheese is made by adding yeast to pond scum.
why do people grin?
04-13-2012, 04:30 AM
They're grinning at you and not with you.
What have you done wrong recently?
04-13-2012, 04:38 AM
I'm not allowed to tell you but I've written 100 lines of it on the whiteboard.
What did you write on your whiteboard?
04-13-2012, 04:41 AM
"Jkatra is totally awesome."
How awesome are you?
04-13-2012, 04:48 AM
Am I bragging?
04-13-2012, 04:51 AM
No, you're Venuspop.
Where is Mr. Bragging?
04-13-2012, 04:53 AM
Mr Bragging is not a Mr. Mr Bragging should be addressed as Mesdames Bragging of Brags Limited.
Are you from Brags Limited too?
04-13-2012, 05:00 AM
I can tell you that I am limited because we all have limitations.
What are your limitations?
04-13-2012, 05:00 AM
I am practically unlimited.
What does that mean?
04-13-2012, 05:06 AM
I don't think it's mean, I think it's nice.
Are you nice?
04-13-2012, 05:07 AM
To a fault.
Do you have a fault?
04-13-2012, 05:09 AM
My only fault is that I'm too perfect.
Are you perfect?
04-13-2012, 05:10 AM
Everybody said so.
Why did they say so?
04-13-2012, 05:17 AM
You forced them to at gunpoint.
Why do you carry a gun?
04-13-2012, 05:18 AM
The gun is lighter than you.
How light are you?
04-13-2012, 07:12 AM
I am filled with sunshine and light.
Where are we?
04-13-2012, 08:40 AM
In the president's little toe.
Why won't anybody answer my question?
04-13-2012, 09:08 AM
Because the ones you call people are not among us anymore.
Why do buses need fuel?
04-13-2012, 09:11 AM
To use as currency in Bustopia, the city of buses.
Why do people have fingernails?
04-13-2012, 09:25 AM
fingernails emphasize the act of pointing. the more fingernail, the more emphatic the point you can make.
what causes houston texas to be such a horrible place?
04-13-2012, 09:30 AM
It's the room service.
What is that thing over there?
04-13-2012, 09:33 AM
*quickly wipes nose*
what? i didn't see anything.
what is the most important quality to have in a hotel?
04-13-2012, 10:16 AM
Why did Elvis Presley dance the way he did?
04-13-2012, 11:00 AM
He was directed by a small alien in his brain who didn't have a grasp of pelvis control.
Why should I drive a car?
04-13-2012, 11:47 AM
Because trying to find the ignition on a horse is a pain in the ass.
Why do humans have languages?
04-13-2012, 11:49 AM
Because communicating through farts is too intermittent and smelly.
What would a world be like without Captain Hook?
04-13-2012, 11:54 AM
A dystopian world with a corrupt government and Tick-Tock Crocks having control over Wall Street.
Why are anchovies so disgusting?
04-13-2012, 12:29 PM
Will it be ever possible to live on the Moon?
04-13-2012, 01:11 PM
It's said that we'll have a colony on the moon by 2020.
Why are people so biased?
04-13-2012, 04:43 PM
I don't even know what ase-ing is, much less that you could have two of them.
Why does it always rain on my days off?
04-13-2012, 05:07 PM
You are being rewarded for your hard work.
What is a frog?
04-13-2012, 05:30 PM
An isotope of hydrogen.
Why is the ENTJ forum dead?
04-13-2012, 07:35 PM
It's not dead, no one wants to talk to you.
Who're you calling dumb?!
04-13-2012, 07:39 PM
Nobody! Everyone is a genius in my eyes.
Do you like waffles?
04-13-2012, 07:41 PM
i called gd dumb.
how does a mirror work?
04-13-2012, 07:46 PM
By stealing a portion of your soul and reversing it, thus making it evil. Or in the case that you're already evil, good.
Whatcha gonna do about it?
04-13-2012, 09:32 PM
Sue it, duh! Get with the times. :-)
How much monetary compensation would a court award for a soul?
04-13-2012, 09:54 PM
They would give you one small turtle and a small, overweight penguin.
Who is cool on this forum?
04-13-2012, 09:55 PM
Who is luke warm on this forum?
04-13-2012, 10:37 PM
Luke Warm is the brother of Luke Skywalker, but he turned to the Dark Side of the Forum.
Is there a Dark Side to this Forum?
04-13-2012, 10:41 PM
There is a dark side to everything.
Do you have a dark side?
04-13-2012, 10:42 PM
Only after tanning.
What is the best beach to go tanning?
04-13-2012, 10:44 PM
The one in Sri Lanka. Just look at their tan!
Did you look at their tan?
04-13-2012, 10:46 PM
I looked at the moon while howling softly.
Am I supposed to not howl?
04-13-2012, 10:47 PM
Polite people do not howl.
Are you rude?
04-13-2012, 10:49 PM
I am not adaptive to the conventional morales of this particular society, which I suppose is currently defined in your perception as what you label "rude".
Am I totally boisterous?
04-13-2012, 11:17 PM
Shhh ... I can't hear myself think.
04-13-2012, 11:45 PM
I think I can, so therefore I am.
Where can I find amusement?
04-14-2012, 12:41 AM
Cemetery is a good choice.
What is the best way to learn how to focus?
Ignore everything but one.
What's the best way to survive without selling out?
04-14-2012, 07:11 AM
Buying everything instead.
Where do babies come from?
04-14-2012, 07:12 AM
what is a hypotenuse?
04-14-2012, 07:16 AM
It is a massage from a hippo, "tenuse" being the Greek word for tense, and "hypo" being the word for hippo.
Why are we here?
04-14-2012, 07:24 AM
Because Elrond has summoned us to discuss what should be done with the ring.
How do you discuss something?
04-14-2012, 07:25 AM
With a machete.
Wha-What are you doing with that shotgun...!?
04-14-2012, 07:30 AM
I'm going to create a piece of abstract art with it called "Shootie".
How can art be abstract?
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