View Full Version : I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game
07-24-2008, 04:39 AM
Because it wasn't in your gift to do so. Let the universe decide.
My Little Pony.....er why?
07-24-2008, 04:39 AM
You can resist everything except temptation.
Surely you realize that MAttel et al have decreed, and it is writ, that all little girls desire a pony. Actually a littleone at only $19.95.
Is that a pub I spy in yonder meadow?
07-24-2008, 04:47 AM
Yes, but it's only a water meadow. Run away, run away!
Where do badgers go for their brushes?
07-24-2008, 05:07 AM
Junior badgers.....it's handed down from badger to badger.....they just like to keep their households clean and tidy employing family members.
Why are these two bananas not ripening....just these two?
07-24-2008, 05:10 AM
I have heard about this. Back CAREFULLY away from those bananas. They have been infested by Tiger ant larvae and the larvae will feed on the banana pulp and the tiger ants will be ready to strike at the fool who peels the banana.
The short shorts or the longer shorts?
07-24-2008, 05:12 AM
Your legs or somebody else's?
Is it OK to tease someone if they're sulking?
07-24-2008, 05:14 AM
OOO two questions.. Mine and yes.. Do it mercilessly IF they are not armed.
T shirt ?
07-24-2008, 05:23 AM
Would bare chested work better for the general public?
I ask you, have you wine boxes or a six pack?
07-24-2008, 05:29 AM
Definitely wine boxes and unspeakably pudgy and bow legged. OOOhh and pasty.
Shorts and t shirt?
07-24-2008, 06:33 AM
No, never :nono:
Are some people convinced that Ice T can act?
07-24-2008, 06:47 AM
Everyone knows that Ice T can act, his portrayals of an inept and unconvincing actor grow more believeable after every performance. I think he's up for an Emmy this year (Most Unconvinging Actor in a Drama category).
Why was it so cold this morning?
07-24-2008, 06:53 AM
It's so cold this morning because there is some dampness around you. Like, rain or fog, etc.
07-24-2008, 06:59 AM
Ya, um, just because!
Why didn't mw ask us a question?
07-24-2008, 07:00 AM
Because his mind was wandering. Duh!!
Is the true?
07-24-2008, 07:01 AM
Duh, it is! What were you thinking while typing that questions?!
What was I thinking, anyway?!
07-24-2008, 11:13 AM
Dunno. And don't call me Anyway.
Three bits for a bite of what?
07-24-2008, 12:01 PM
Of lunch. Cheap at twice the price, too.
How did we sink so low?
07-24-2008, 12:05 PM
Um, a hole in the bottom of the boat.
Why don't you put a cork in it?
07-24-2008, 12:12 PM
Because I'm the unsinkable Molly Brown. So it's quite quite pointless.
Is it better out than in?
07-24-2008, 12:21 PM
If you're sinking, it's better in. If you're unsinkable, then it really doesn't matter.
What makes one rich?
07-24-2008, 12:26 PM
What makes one poor?
07-24-2008, 12:40 PM
When one needs a drink out of a pitcher.
So then, what makes one neither rich nor poor?
07-24-2008, 12:40 PM
Is there no justice?
07-24-2008, 12:51 PM
No. But there are biscuits. Pass the gravy.
Are kumquats edible?
07-24-2008, 12:55 PM
They work better when ground up and used as fertilizer that is spread in the full moon cycle.
Paper clips and antibodies are used for what game?
07-24-2008, 12:58 PM
"Pin the tail on the office cube-mate".
Will that hurt?
07-24-2008, 01:06 PM
Is that okay?
07-24-2008, 01:16 PM
As long as its only them.
But what are the chances?
07-24-2008, 01:17 PM
What are the odds?
07-24-2008, 01:20 PM
What are you?
07-24-2008, 01:30 PM
Very odd indeed.
Couldn't you tell?
07-24-2008, 01:34 PM
I could tell, but I won't.
Besides, who would I tell?
07-24-2008, 01:35 PM
Would he listen?
07-24-2008, 01:39 PM
No, but I don't blame him: would you?
07-24-2008, 01:39 PM
Not according to his wife.
07-24-2008, 02:02 PM
That's not the correct password.
Care to try again?
07-24-2008, 02:05 PM
Am I first again?
(Is it really possible to be first... again?)
07-24-2008, 02:10 PM
"The race is not always to the swiftest." Just try telling that to the Olympic Committee, though.
(edited version) - with thanks to le Duc
Is bookkeeper the only word you know with 3 double letters in a row?
07-24-2008, 02:13 PM
Double letters perhaps, but it only has one double consonant.
Would one know or know of a word?
07-24-2008, 02:19 PM
I have very personal relationship with all my words. We commune daily.
Does the rinse cycle ever end?
07-24-2008, 02:27 PM
Nope. Read the bottle: "Rinse. Repeat."
How would one spot a mime on a printed forum?
07-24-2008, 02:29 PM
By the dispersal pattern of the crowd.
Did you catch it?
07-24-2008, 02:34 PM
No, I'm immune.
Haven't you asked that before?
07-24-2008, 02:36 PM
Damn. You caught it.
Should I leave in shame?
07-24-2008, 04:35 PM
If you are a beekeeper, yes.
Do you have a special barber for your problem hair-things?
07-25-2008, 12:50 AM
She does and I am highly qualified having spent 14 years in London Zoo in charge of very exotic creature hair design (also includes time travellers , ancient Gods and aliens in transit). I have enclosed my card.
Should I train for a new career?
07-25-2008, 01:21 AM
Indeed you should. I hear there's an opening for haggis stuffers in Aberdeen. Oh, the things I could do with that line....
Do I dare?
07-25-2008, 01:24 AM
Yes. I'm a big boy.
What lies beneath this darkened earth?
07-25-2008, 01:31 AM
My new summer retreat in Coober Pedy. Here, have an opal in your tea.
Does the postman always ring twice?
07-25-2008, 01:37 AM
No but he certainly knocks twice.
Can I please, please have a dugout home as well?
07-25-2008, 01:43 AM
Oh, very well. There's this old badger's set not doing anything at the moment...
Can you mend a broken lock?
07-25-2008, 02:48 AM
No. Gravity would no longer exist. Mended locks suck up gravity, you know.
Why do some people care about clothing style so much?
07-25-2008, 03:56 AM
Because they have to have something to replace their inability to grasp more esoteric topics and haven't got large mortgages, I wager.
Are the damaged attracted to abusers?
07-25-2008, 04:36 AM
And vice versa :(. The former for comforting normality and the latter because, well, it's what they do.
Should I be so serious in the morning?
07-25-2008, 05:46 AM
Not really, but it's good to react when it feels natural to do so. Besides, it's lunchtime now!
USA for 6 months on an innovative project with a dangerous and demanding boss or a safer life in London wishing I'd taken the risk?
07-25-2008, 07:38 AM
OK this IS the wrong anwer game so DEFINITELY the easy and safe route.
Where in the USA would one plant Lupins?
07-25-2008, 08:07 AM
OK this IS the wrong anwer game so DEFINITELY the easy and safe route.
Where in the USA would one plant Lupins?
Lupins are actually an air plant and are quite usefull in filtering the rain water in gutters.
What is a frisbee used for?
07-25-2008, 11:44 AM
Is it just me, or is it cold in here?
07-25-2008, 11:47 AM
It's just you. You should have added hot water 15 minutes ago.
Where's my rubber ducky?
07-25-2008, 11:54 AM
It's in hot water.
What causes a person to have a favorite color?
07-25-2008, 12:05 PM
What ho my hearties!
07-25-2008, 12:15 PM
What ho my hearties!
Ho's actually come in pairs of Ho-Ho's and are used as balast on pirate ships!
When is a dog a bird?
07-25-2008, 12:38 PM
When a bird dog is.
What happened two?
07-25-2008, 02:21 PM
Three trumped two. It always does and that is how it was writ.
How do you cure a sow?
07-25-2008, 02:23 PM
Why is what an anagram of thaw?
07-25-2008, 02:26 PM
If you'd theen what I'd theen, you wouldn't ask.
Why can't we have dessert first?
07-25-2008, 02:29 PM
Because of etymology. But you could rename the steak 'n kidney "dessert," and rename the chocolate "entree" and everything would be fine.
Do you see what I see?
07-25-2008, 02:33 PM
If it's steak and kidney pie, dear God, I hope not.
Who would invent such a dish?
07-25-2008, 02:36 PM
I'm not sure it was invented. I think it just happened.
How many eyes are there besides the antepenultimate one?
07-25-2008, 02:46 PM
14 although in an immature specimen you sometimes only find 12.
Why am i so very, very special?
07-25-2008, 02:47 PM
I lost count after 63. I ran out of toes.
(edit for blade) I'm guessing it's the truffles.
Why won't this envelope open?
07-25-2008, 02:48 PM
Blade: the answer's in the envelope. FC: 'cause you're special.
Where is here?
07-25-2008, 02:51 PM
Here is where?
07-25-2008, 02:52 PM
Here is where the heart is.
Why aren't you?
07-25-2008, 02:54 PM
After careful thought, I decided against it.
You aren't. Why?
07-25-2008, 02:54 PM
I thought here was "now'
07-25-2008, 02:56 PM
I stopped thinking, therefore I aren't.
When is night day?
07-25-2008, 02:57 PM
4th of april. Bring your suit of armor.
Is it always possible?
07-25-2008, 03:00 PM
Rarely. But ask me on April 3rd.
Will there be mead?
07-25-2008, 03:03 PM
The nead for mead is high, indead.
Will there be maize?
07-25-2008, 03:07 PM
Yes, when the corn is as high as an elephant's eye. Not before.
Is rice nice?
07-25-2008, 03:09 PM
Rice is only nice when it has a little spice.
What happened to the rest of this questi
07-25-2008, 03:12 PM
I found it. This could have caused an accident, you know. And what if you'd been the last poster on the page? You'd have lost it, that's what!
What can be done?
07-25-2008, 03:14 PM
Nothing needs to be done. You found it. We are all okay.
Or are we?
07-25-2008, 03:20 PM
We aren't. I might be.
07-25-2008, 03:22 PM
...you might be.
If you don't know, how can I know?
07-25-2008, 03:27 PM
Because to know know know me is to love love love me. And I do.
Why don't dogs migrate?
07-25-2008, 03:34 PM
We all love you!
The dogs are too busy chasing cats.
Why am I still at the office?!:angry:
07-25-2008, 03:46 PM
Are you? I hadn't noticed. I was too busy curing a sow.
Can I interest you in a silk purse?
07-25-2008, 03:51 PM
What is the question?
07-25-2008, 03:53 PM
Why, is the answer.
Am I lost in a daydream?
07-25-2008, 03:54 PM
No, we found you in a daydream.
Isn't there a better way?
07-25-2008, 03:57 PM
I think so. But then, I'm a grackle.
Why isn't turtle soup green?
07-25-2008, 03:59 PM
They forgot to use soup turtles.
Is it a snap to make?
07-25-2008, 04:05 PM
Not if you wait 'til they're asleep. Don't even ask why I know this.
Am I an endangered species?
07-25-2008, 04:12 PM
No. You don't exist. It is all a nightmare in the minds of the deranged.
Eat cold pizza.
07-26-2008, 12:09 AM
If I knew what cold pizza was, I might consider it.
Are you hallucinating?
07-26-2008, 01:38 AM
No you are and it is all because of lack of sleep. Get thee to bed.
Can i have some solitude please?
07-26-2008, 01:44 AM
Of course. As long as you don't mind company.
Fried, scrambled or poached?
07-26-2008, 01:46 AM
Take a seat?
07-26-2008, 01:48 AM
Thanks. Here's one I nicked earlier.
White or wholemeal?
07-26-2008, 01:51 AM
I would prefer the whole meal but I am hungry enough for scraps.
How really necessary is water anyway?
07-26-2008, 01:54 AM
It's necessary because they can pick up the molecules fairly quickly. Based on the careful examination of water molecules, it has been concluded by the scientists that the shape (looks like a small tweezer) of water made this possible.
Why is it so paramount that I seek the secure future?
07-26-2008, 03:32 AM
a (the) secure future is but a myth. Now is all we have my dear chap but the seeds we sow now will indeed sprout into green shoots to be harvested in our 'future now' so get sowing. Failing that, read Eckhart Tolle for some inner calm and inspiration.
Is a life without a plan of the same value?
07-26-2008, 05:26 AM
I always opt for the plan without a life. Guarantees years of joyless agony.
It's only 3000 miles. Why not?
07-26-2008, 05:50 AM
Because you're headed the wrong way. You should be going North West.
What is the opposite of perfection?
07-26-2008, 06:08 AM
Where did I lose my way?
07-26-2008, 08:19 AM
You didn't actually lose your way. 'They' changed the footpath and you continued in good faith. Nothing to be done.....you are where you are, so embrace the experience of being at this unexpected point and enjoy planning your next steps. Besides, the universe has plans for you......take a look at 'Desiderata' for an emotional uplift :).
Animal, vegetable or mineral?
07-26-2008, 08:24 AM
Lupin or Bladeserver?
07-26-2008, 08:55 AM
Depends on the opportunity......:).
Lupin's out to lunch, recommend you hassle Blade.....:).
SSR Protege.....surely it's a French frigate....?
07-26-2008, 09:37 AM
No, it describes one of my unrealistic dreams. I used to be an orchestral conductor wanna-be who desperately wanted to learn under Sir Simon Rattle. (This is not a wrong answer, I am writing in a straightforward manner)
Why did Lupin ask that question?
07-26-2008, 09:47 AM
Because he likes french fries.
What is the color of madness?
07-26-2008, 10:27 AM
What is the color of life?
07-26-2008, 10:44 AM
A whiter shade of pale.
How do you spell badly?
07-26-2008, 11:34 AM
naturally it's baldy....no offence to the follicly challenged ;).
SSR Protege is a cool name to be mis-interpreted freely in French both as a noun (impressive young talent) and as a verb (you work it out)...regardless of the lack of customary acute and grave accents, n'est pas?
07-26-2008, 11:48 AM
C'est vrai. And I have a very cute accent, by the way.
Does one good deed deserve another?
07-26-2008, 01:15 PM
Not always....depends upon the initiator's motives ;). Loaded agendas abound, it's a jungle out there....
Who's got the time?
07-26-2008, 01:18 PM
I do. And clearly wayyyyy too much of it.
Who's got the place?
07-26-2008, 02:11 PM
I have a place.
But would anyone put me in my place?
07-26-2008, 02:41 PM
Pawn to queen's knight 4.
That do you?
07-26-2008, 02:52 PM
I think you scored a goal (I'm not very up on chess terminology).
Can someone help me with my terrible spatial issues?
07-26-2008, 02:55 PM
Yes. It's over here.... sheesh!
Can I be helped?
07-26-2008, 05:55 PM
Yes IT can, but you left off the T.
What is sleep?
07-26-2008, 07:12 PM
I'm not surprised you've forgotten. It means "the act of sending me blank cheques" and you need to do this nightly. It's for your own good, you know.
Do bats get bored?
07-26-2008, 11:05 PM
Never, because there are always insurrections in penitentiaries.
What is supersonic?
07-26-2008, 11:12 PM
The best Pokémon attack ever.
Is the Pope Catholic?
07-26-2008, 11:23 PM
Do bears shit in the woods? (yes that is the correct wrong answer)
Was that a bear I heard rustling behind the cabin last night?
07-27-2008, 01:26 AM
Maybe, but since you were too afraid to peek, you'll never know. And being the J that you are, that unanswered question shall haunt you for all of eternity.
How old are you?
07-27-2008, 01:45 AM
As old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth. Which is what my granny would have replied to such a question!
Where does the horizon end?
07-27-2008, 01:51 AM
At my doorstep.
When will this insanity end?
07-27-2008, 02:18 AM
Until Tartarus is empty.
Why does faedra think she's insane?
07-27-2008, 03:04 AM
Because I baked Earl Grey tea cookies today :D :D
How do you get cookies to turn out cookie-shaped?
07-27-2008, 09:26 AM
By using a super-deluxe cookie shaper 5000, silly. Call 1-800-EAT-CAKE now to order yours for 179 low payments of 91.23 cents.
If you act now, can you guess what the special offer is?
07-27-2008, 09:30 AM
Cake? Please let it be cake.
Why is this thread always about FOOD? *mutter, mutter*
07-27-2008, 09:43 AM
Because we're happy little Vegemites, as bright as bright can be... that's why!
Why would we be any other way?
07-27-2008, 02:58 PM
We would be any other way if it suited us but perhaps most of us are habitually tied to our way of being and frankly couldn't give a 'Castlemaine XXXX' about changing :).
Why not celebrate the difference rather than ridicule originality?
07-27-2008, 08:59 PM
(Sure, sure.... leave the hard ones to me.)
Because those who ridicule lack the originality to do otherwise. Plus, they suck biscuits.
Are tickles ticklish?
07-27-2008, 09:11 PM
Only under their arms. On every other Thursday. During a full moon.
Why do people paint barns red?
07-27-2008, 09:24 PM
To hide the bloodstains.
Can I interest you in a cheap bed and breakfast?
07-27-2008, 09:33 PM
Cheap beds make my back hurt. Breakfast sounds good, though.
What is the question that drives you?
07-27-2008, 09:38 PM
"Will it be the Bentley or the Rolls today, madame?" ... but, hush: he hates to be called a question.
Do you have frog's legs?
07-27-2008, 09:46 PM
Shh. Don't give it away. It's so funny to watch him try to get up from the chair when he thinks they're still attached.
How do you dye stain-resistant carpet?
07-27-2008, 10:09 PM
You don't. But it comes to you in lovely shades of red wine, egg yolk, grape juice and dog.
What more do you need?
07-27-2008, 11:17 PM
3 more frogs legs and I'll have a dozen red cookies.
But why are the cookies red?
07-28-2008, 12:47 AM
You've been out in that barn again, haven't you?
What have I told you?
07-28-2008, 01:13 AM
Absolute non-sense. What? Our body is 70% cyanide and that water is toxic?
Why have you told me that?
07-28-2008, 02:38 AM
To save your life, of course! Don't tell me you don't know of the danger that's dihydrogen monoxide (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)*gasps*
Why's cyanide poisonous, though?
07-28-2008, 02:59 AM
I don't think it is, here try some and we'll see. After you, no after you dear......
*Lupin, having already sipped from the "poisoned chalice" decides to step away from the opportunity this time*
Between us, do you think we could solve some of life's major conundrums?
07-28-2008, 04:16 AM
Not a chance. I haven't even mastered life's bongo drums. There is no hope, I fear. None at all.
Why do we do it?
07-28-2008, 04:39 AM
Because it has seven legs and is blue and fuzzy and somehow appealing to our notorious primitive human desires.
What's the weather like today?
07-28-2008, 05:01 AM
It's glorious (for a change).
Is there an opportunity cost of NOT doing it?
07-28-2008, 05:03 AM
I'm glorious for a change, too. Thanks for asking!
Do you have any spare change?
07-28-2008, 05:15 AM
No, mine are all strikes :cool:
07-28-2008, 05:36 AM
No, I am happy with myself.
Are you bored?
07-28-2008, 06:11 AM
No, I'm creating obstacles.
Are you sitting comfortably?
07-28-2008, 08:06 AM
Yes. Then I shall begin. Once upon a time there was a little planet...
07-28-2008, 08:19 AM
Because someone put a thumbtack on my chair!
07-28-2008, 08:27 AM
Pretty much always colonel Peacock with the VCR.
Why sing in the shower?
07-28-2008, 08:31 AM
That's the best time to let your id go - you know, is it called substitution? I mean, in a Freudian term! Um, well, insanity, it can be called.
What is the definition of a "wrong answer"?
07-28-2008, 08:42 AM
Something which tends to be what it isn't as seen through a mirror darkly. Squared.#
Where for art thou princess?
07-28-2008, 08:46 AM
The Princess goes to the museum for art. You should've put a comma after 'art,' though.
What exactly is a good weekend?
07-28-2008, 10:13 AM
If you need to ask then I think you may need help ;).
What about staying in bed all weekend with the one you love....lush or not?
07-28-2008, 12:01 PM
A good mix of both would work well.
Why do we never hear about dinghummers?
07-28-2008, 12:07 PM
The same could be said for dingwhistlers.
Is Johnny really Rotten?
07-28-2008, 12:10 PM
Only when he's on his rockets.
Will it never begin?
07-28-2008, 12:12 PM
It never will never begin, thus it must start.
Who's on first?
07-28-2008, 12:16 PM
And the game isn't due to start for another three hours.
Why is Who there already?
07-28-2008, 12:20 PM
Because he didn't know Why and When (they're on bad terms, you know).
07-28-2008, 12:28 PM
Third base coach. Across the diamond from Naturally.
Where is the ballpark?
07-28-2008, 12:48 PM
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
But more importantly, where is the Ballpark Frank?
07-28-2008, 01:18 PM
*beep* Frank is gone for the day, but if you'd like to know directions to the ballpark press 2 now. *beep*
Frankly, does Scarlett give a damn either?
07-28-2008, 01:20 PM
Frank is unavailable to answer your question. He went to the concession stand for a hot dog.
Frankly, does Scarlett give a damn either?
No, she was busy offing someone in the conservatory with a candlestick.
Care for some peanuts?
07-28-2008, 01:21 PM
Scarlett abandoned the peanuts long ago. They required too much care.
How fast is too fast?
07-28-2008, 01:23 PM
Well, I'm obviously the slow one so anything faster than that.
Can't I catch a break?
07-28-2008, 01:25 PM
Only if you're in the outfield.
If you drop a break, does it shatter?
07-28-2008, 01:29 PM
Quite easily since that crack is already running through it.
What would you like to know now?
07-28-2008, 01:30 PM
07-28-2008, 01:33 PM
Something I do not now know.
Can you break a brake?
07-28-2008, 01:42 PM
You can, if you shoot it.
Can you tiddly without winking?
07-28-2008, 01:58 PM
Sure, when there's no painful flare-up.
07-28-2008, 02:08 PM
Yes please and two sugars.
Are you sick of Phants?
07-28-2008, 02:15 PM
Yes, I'm going to start calling large grey mammals with long trunks eles.
Are you afraid of the big, bad wolf?
07-28-2008, 02:16 PM
He tried to blow me down.
Illuminaughty or Illuminice?
07-28-2008, 02:23 PM
Illuminium... for my nice new hat.
Isn't it all shiny and bright?
07-28-2008, 02:25 PM
Whatever you say---I'm blind....
Who- Che Mama?
07-28-2008, 02:28 PM
Never in this lifetime.
Who's your daddy?
07-28-2008, 02:32 PM
Wrong to name the livestock?
07-28-2008, 02:35 PM
Only in a paternity suit.
Did I really go there?
07-28-2008, 02:41 PM
Definitely. Luckily it's easy to escape . Try the 84 bus.
What's new pussycat?
07-28-2008, 02:47 PM
The Thin Man, all over again.
in flagrante- Cadillac Allante.....coweenkideenk?
07-28-2008, 03:00 PM
I think a Phant ate my homework.
Positive or negative?
07-28-2008, 03:21 PM
Always positive, even with my hump.......
Can you hear the bells?
07-28-2008, 03:31 PM
Yes, they toll for thee.
One hump, or two?
07-28-2008, 03:57 PM
Draw my dairy, and you'll know.
Trust the smiling monkey?
07-28-2008, 04:33 PM
Careful. Every monkey has a plan. That's precisely why he's smiling.
trick or treaty?
07-28-2008, 05:18 PM
An cunning diplomat will offer you both.
Would you rather be bald or dash?
07-28-2008, 05:21 PM
Oh, there was a choice.....
Scooting into the power elite's loafers?
07-28-2008, 05:48 PM
Makes you walk a mile in their ooze.
Red or white?
07-28-2008, 07:05 PM
White, I am not that romantic. Red wine is more for romantic people.
Black or blue?
Purple, which is the color you get when you mix them together.
Does it put the lotion on its skin?
07-28-2008, 09:10 PM
Only on the third day. By then, it's green.
If you understood this answer, would you kindly explain it to me?? (signed, Losted)
07-29-2008, 12:32 AM
Tricky one FC. Got me stumped.....oh, didn't I tell you, I have stumps as well.....the bells...she gave me water etc. etc.
Time for a coffee or are you running late?
07-29-2008, 12:36 AM
Haste makes wasted latte.
How hungry do you need to be to eat a horse?
07-29-2008, 12:39 AM
Not very. I had one yesterday. A whole one.
Why Pluto, why?
07-29-2008, 12:47 AM
No, wrong question. Question is:
"Why," Pluto, "why?"
How many hairs on my head?
07-29-2008, 12:56 AM
Perhaps not as many as elsewhere......but not seeking to offend ;).
Why is safe spontaneity SO addictive?
07-29-2008, 02:56 AM
Because gerbils have feelings, too.
What is the tensile strength of spiders' silk?
07-29-2008, 03:09 AM
About ten times the tensile strength of my connection to the internet and about 100 times the strength of my connection to reality.
Which way is counter clockwise?
07-29-2008, 04:09 AM
Have a heart?
07-29-2008, 04:20 AM
Only if it says "true love" and tastes vaguely of banana...
What goes up must come _______?
07-29-2008, 04:50 AM
........to a roundabout, with options for left or right or it may just get stuck there, going round and round.
Fry or griddle?
07-29-2008, 06:14 AM
Deep fry. Love the grease.
Can existentialism and predestination coexist?
07-29-2008, 06:17 AM
Only when mixed with 3 parts water, 2 eggs folded in and set to bake at 350 degrees. Very nice served with a side of greens.
How many horse power is the typical car?
07-29-2008, 06:27 AM
There are no typical cars. All power to the horse. High on methane but elegantly moulded with good visibility. Excellent in all weathers regardless of terrain. Limited upkeep. See your local farrier for servicing, pressure and tread checks. Garaging may prove expensive. Recommended transport option of the year 1765 and, thinking ahead, 2020 ;).
Is timing really everything?
07-29-2008, 06:30 AM
Only when you're on the clock.
07-29-2008, 06:45 AM
Down is the wonderful hyperallergenic filling they never put in hospital pillows on grounds of Env Health and Safety *aaaaachoouu*......oh and a sudonym for happiness :(.
What exactly are bingo wings?
07-29-2008, 06:58 AM
Actually, bingo-wings are rather non-exact.
Should I sell?
07-29-2008, 07:16 AM
Always, but first make sure to fertilize and water the car first.
When is bread bad?
07-29-2008, 07:39 AM
Don't even insinuate that about the bread! "Nice bread, it's okay ~ the lady didn't really mean it."
How could you even think such a thing?
07-29-2008, 07:44 AM
It's just the way my brain works......one track and dirty ;).
Is it really necessary to do that standing on one leg?
07-29-2008, 08:05 AM
Sometime I suppose I should just put my foot down.
But do you think they'd listen?
07-29-2008, 08:07 AM
It may just fall on deaf ears....you could always send them a postcard.
Does time really heal everything?
07-29-2008, 08:20 AM
If timing is everything, then "Physician, heal thyself."
Can you come hear for a minute?
07-29-2008, 08:22 AM
I hear all the time in the rollercoaster.
What is that bird eating?
07-29-2008, 08:59 AM
Can you dig it?
07-29-2008, 09:06 AM
That's a deep question.
Can we play spades?
07-29-2008, 09:20 AM
Air guitar is less work.
Hey, buddy......gotta light?
07-29-2008, 10:23 AM
No, but I gutta percha.
Why would I do such a thing?
07-29-2008, 10:45 AM
You, sir, are a thrill seeker.
Mind throwing those a little lower?
07-29-2008, 10:54 AM
Sure. Here's a calf, guys... catch!
How many people are saying "Huh?" right now?
07-29-2008, 10:58 AM
*counts on fingers*
Three: me, you and the government agent monitoring our posts.
Was Captain Kangaroo every promoted beyond his rank?
07-29-2008, 11:03 AM
No. But Mr Greenjeans was a well-known communist sympathiser. And don't get me started on Tom Terrific.
Did people really watch that?
07-29-2008, 11:04 AM
Why, that's the very source of my complete and utter joy.
Is it not apparent?
07-29-2008, 11:06 AM
No. A parent was in the other room, watching the Indian Head test pattern, and waiting for Bowling for Dollars to start.
Are you kidding me?
07-29-2008, 11:10 AM
I offer you my udder sincerity.
What was the deal with knowing the muffin man, anyway?
07-29-2008, 11:13 AM
Yes, that's a scary one. Right up there with Betty and her bit of butter.
Why would anyone dance with wolves?
07-29-2008, 11:15 AM
*WHOMP* Random Trout slap!!
*continue as you were......
07-29-2008, 11:22 AM
Uncle Walter danced with bears. Wolves wouldn't be that far off.
Who else lives in Drury lane?
07-29-2008, 11:47 AM
Go back to the greetin's with that, Rose. We saw you there. Don't deny it. Why does the trout thing get my mind into Lez Zep?
Golem did, for a short time.
Why would anyone hoist the bird while test driving a county rig?
07-29-2008, 11:55 AM
Okay... you got me, and my Babel Fish is on a 22 bus to Putney.
07-29-2008, 11:56 AM
Somebody flipped him off while driving a gov't vehicle.
It wasn't just anyone, it was the One.
Why do bugs bug me, but bees don't be me? (aren't me...?)
07-29-2008, 11:58 AM
Do bee do be doo.
07-29-2008, 11:59 AM
07-29-2008, 11:59 AM
I am going to milk this one for all I can...
I've never seen a do bee.
Have you seen a do hickey?
07-29-2008, 12:06 PM
I majored in thingamyjigs myself.
Why is le Duc so slow?
07-29-2008, 12:08 PM
Give me a few minutes, and I'll answer that...
Is Fridays Child really loving and giving?
07-29-2008, 12:09 PM
It's just a nasty rumour.
Is my secret out?
07-29-2008, 12:10 PM
No, it's really the in thing right now.
Who will be number 2,000?
07-29-2008, 12:11 PM
I hit the "Mine!" button already.
Will you let me have it?
07-29-2008, 12:12 PM
Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
How does one milk a soybean?
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