View Full Version : I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game
gracious
10-17-2011, 09:00 AM
This is a complex one. Not sure if to is 'two' or 'do' and not sure if flee is 'flee' or 'flea'. One thing's for sure if it's to do with breeding - they do it less frequently than they want to and afterwards one or both fleas may flee.
Why are homonyms such fun to play with?
Mikko
10-17-2011, 09:08 AM
Because they play fair.
How come chickens do not fly?
gracious
10-17-2011, 09:11 AM
Because they get curried before they can buy their plane tickets.
What happened to the dodos?
Gerard91
10-17-2011, 09:16 AM
They took emo culture too seriously and cut themselves.
Why are we able to see the moon during the day?
Mikko
10-17-2011, 09:38 AM
Because it's too dark at night.
Why is Australia down under?
Gerard91
10-17-2011, 09:42 AM
Because it was created by Austrian people gone mad.
Why Germans were blamed for everything in WW1? So that they would have a perfect reason to hate everyone and start a war 20 years later?
gracious
10-17-2011, 09:43 AM
^^Because the globe put its equator on upside down.
^ It was to distract us all while they created SAP.
Why are some accents more pleasant to the ear than others?
Mikko
10-17-2011, 09:46 AM
Because no Swedes were present.
Why is association so fun?
gracious
10-17-2011, 09:51 AM
Because we giggle when we see 'ass' in any context.
Why aren't cans made of tin anymore?
Mikko
10-17-2011, 09:57 AM
Because the IRS ran out of TIN's.
Where is it safe to yodel?
Gerard91
10-17-2011, 10:00 AM
In the middle of the forest. My mom tells that it's a great relief to scream in the middle of the forest, when no one can hear you (Honestly, I think it's silly, but well). Never tried it myself.
Do you like bedrooms on the second floor?
gracious
10-17-2011, 10:07 AM
Yes, assuming the house is not a bungalow and the second floor is on the roof.
Do I really have to wait 4 more days until it's the weekend again?
Mikko
10-17-2011, 10:09 AM
You can wait 8, if you wish.
Who is the next president of Italy?
gracious
10-17-2011, 10:10 AM
Gerard91.
Would you apply for the job?
Gerard91
10-17-2011, 10:11 AM
^^ I wonder if Mister B.O. has any relatives from Italy.
^ Hmm... I will take it, get loads of money for the start and then quickly resign.
Why everyone thinks that the simplest calculation is 2+2 when there is also 1+1?
Mikko
10-17-2011, 10:26 AM
Because in poker, 2 pairs beats one.
Is Italy the next Greece?
gracious
10-17-2011, 10:30 AM
No. Ireland is the new Greece. I can hardly wait to try their tzatziki.
Isn't one Greece enough?
Mikko
10-17-2011, 10:31 AM
I'm sure the taxpayers agree.
Will I get hate mail for that answer?
Sprelious
10-17-2011, 11:10 AM
No, people usually enjoy being insulted.
Is hate mail a bad thing?
Mikko
10-17-2011, 11:14 AM
Email was supposed to replace it.
What causes insomnia?
Sprelious
10-17-2011, 11:16 AM
Lack of sex.
What cures insomnia?
Mikko
10-17-2011, 11:19 AM
Sleeping does.
Why is Seattle the capital of insomnia?
Sprelious
10-17-2011, 11:23 AM
Rain keeps people indoors and the lack of sex when you are kept in is much worse than when you can get out.
Why does it rain so much in Seattle?
Mikko
10-17-2011, 11:26 AM
To keep the people in, so they do not have sex in the public.
Why is Microsoft in Seattle?
Sprelious
10-17-2011, 11:29 AM
Seattle is a secret nexus where Bill Gates gets his ideas from an alien race in another galaxy.
Why is it called a galaxy?
Mikko
10-17-2011, 11:36 AM
Because Bill likes to keep that alien race on a ship (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).
Is Conan O'Brien a real redhead?
Sprelious
10-17-2011, 12:16 PM
You should know.
Is there a point to this?
thebrainpolice
10-17-2011, 05:48 PM
Yes.
What will Charlie Sheen's next job be?
Cult leader.
Which aspect of ignorance is the most blissful?
Sprelious
10-17-2011, 07:14 PM
The stupid grin.
Why do gophers dig?
venuspop
10-17-2011, 07:18 PM
They don't know where I bury my bones.
Why do dogs bury bones?
Sprelious
10-17-2011, 08:00 PM
They like to dig holes and they'd look stupid if they didn't put something in them.
Why are cats so aloof?
DoubleEntendre
10-17-2011, 08:13 PM
Because they never quite come down from their high.
When can I have a penguin?
Sprelious
10-17-2011, 08:26 PM
As soon as Hell freezes over.
Where is the best place to have a steak.
On a grill
Is everything the same always?
Sprelious
10-17-2011, 08:56 PM
Nothing is ever the same.
Why is that?
venuspop
10-17-2011, 08:58 PM
Because people like you and me exist.
Is this bad?
Sprelious
10-17-2011, 09:04 PM
That depends entirely on your perspective
Do we have a third eye?
venuspop
10-17-2011, 09:04 PM
Yes, I'm told we do.
Do you know where it is?
Sprelious
10-17-2011, 09:15 PM
Below the belt and above the back of our knees.
What is it for?
a release valve.
Why do we bounce?
venuspop
10-17-2011, 09:58 PM
To keep the third eye in position.
Is this important?
Mikko
10-18-2011, 08:37 AM
Yes, because it would be embarrassing to have it on the face.
Why do these discussions always go south?
gracious
10-18-2011, 09:02 AM
Because our internal magnets repell us from North.
Why do people risk their lives to see the North Pole?
Mikko
10-18-2011, 09:08 AM
Because it's dangerous.
Why is north up on the maps?
gracious
10-18-2011, 09:13 AM
So the American South would not appear at the top. (no hate mail please!)
Why do they always use hideous pinks, oranges and yellows on globes?
Mikko
10-18-2011, 09:16 AM
Because they can not use those on moons.
Why is hate mail bad?
gracious
10-18-2011, 09:19 AM
It isn't.
When else would we have a chance to talk about anthrax?
Gerard91
10-18-2011, 09:28 AM
In 2013. We will vaporize until then, if God will finally understand how freaky the world is. I hope Mayans are right about 2012.
Why do I have to take all the responsibility of my sexual life?
gracious
10-18-2011, 09:42 AM
Because hiring a sexual life guardian is too expensive.
Why is American currency so boring? (one colour, one size, zzzzzz)
Mikko
10-18-2011, 09:49 AM
Because they sent it all to China.
When is the world economy going to collapse?
gracious
10-18-2011, 09:53 AM
Probably at Chinese New Year when China shuts down for a couple weeks.
Why can't party hats be more flattering?
Sprelious
10-18-2011, 10:22 AM
That would spoil the pictures.
Why is getting stupid so much fun?
Gerard91
10-18-2011, 11:12 AM
LOLcats, PUN!!!
How awesome you are?
jkatra
10-18-2011, 01:17 PM
I am mildly awesome on Tuesdays.
Why dont you work on Wall Street?
Mikko
10-18-2011, 01:18 PM
I'm on call. I do not work the streets.
Why does the wind rattle the roof?
WoodsWoman
10-18-2011, 01:55 PM
It's a baby wind having fun and annoying Mum.
Why is it so cold wherever I can access WiFi?
Mikko
10-18-2011, 01:58 PM
The wireless waves create a standing wave, eliminating the infrared waves of heat. Use a cable during winter time.
Why do trees turn yellow and red at this time of year?
gracious
10-18-2011, 02:04 PM
Some of them get Cirrhosis and it makes the others blush.
When will it stop raining so I can mow my lawn?
WoodsWoman
10-18-2011, 02:17 PM
In 2013.
Why is it so hard to log out of INTJf?
Gerard91
10-18-2011, 02:33 PM
Because the Logout button is very well hidden.
Why am I still awake (It's 23:33 here)?
jkatra
10-18-2011, 03:07 PM
Because you're being held upside down.
Why can't I turn back time?
pottersjar
10-18-2011, 03:48 PM
Because your clock has only a "forward" button.
Who is going to be the next president of the United States?
IronSulfide
10-18-2011, 04:31 PM
Nicolas Cage.
What will be his first act as President?
pottersjar
10-18-2011, 04:34 PM
Resignation.
What is his most cerebral film?
IronSulfide
10-18-2011, 04:41 PM
The one where he's shot in the head.
If he were to star in an adaptation of a Jane Austen novel, which would it be?
pottersjar
10-18-2011, 05:17 PM
Hunt for Red October.
Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
thebrainpolice
10-18-2011, 05:51 PM
No one. Grant is now a zombie and he's coming for your braiiiiiiinz.
How can I defend myself from an alien invasion?
pottersjar
10-18-2011, 06:24 PM
Form a thirty-mile, arm-in-arm chain of left leaning protesters who together sing repeatedly, "All we are saaaaaaaying, is give peace a chance."
How do you cure hemorrhoids?
reiven
10-18-2011, 07:05 PM
leeches
why are there no filters on cuban cigars?
pottersjar
10-18-2011, 07:09 PM
Population control
Why do invaluable and valuable both mean expensive?
phoboser
10-18-2011, 07:13 PM
It's a coincidence. Invaluable and valuable are derived from the Greek and Latin words for expensive, respectively.
U still mad?
pottersjar
10-18-2011, 07:24 PM
Furious.
What is the name of the little plastic tip on each end of the shoestring?
phoboser
10-18-2011, 07:27 PM
Shoe fingernails.
Why hasn't velcro rendered shoelaces obsolete?
venuspop
10-18-2011, 08:25 PM
Shoelaces give you a polite excuse to drop out of a conversation. Velcro ensures that you don't.
Am I making sense?
pottersjar
10-18-2011, 08:32 PM
Of course you're making cents.
If one gains more beauty by beautifying, why doesn't she become more classy when she classifying?
phoboser
10-18-2011, 08:33 PM
She does, unless she's classifying all the drugs she does into uppers and downers.
Why do some people drive more aggressively under poor road conditions?
pottersjar
10-18-2011, 08:33 PM
If one gains more beauty by beautifying, why doesn't she become more classy by classifying?
---------- Post added 10-18-2011 at 10:36 PM ----------
"Why do some people drive more aggressively under poor road conditions?"
Because they are one with the road.
If one gains more beauty by beautifying, why doesn't she become more classy by classifying?
venuspop
10-18-2011, 08:44 PM
If one gains more beauty by beautifying, why doesn't she become more classy by classifying?
---------- Post added 10-18-2011 at 10:36 PM ----------
"Why do some people drive more aggressively under poor road conditions?"
Because they are one with the road.
If one gains more beauty by beautifying, why doesn't she become more classy by classifying?
Same reason why you don't get smarter by smarting. ;)
Are you going to ask that question again?
pottersjar
10-18-2011, 08:45 PM
No. I will never ask that question again.
If one gains more beauty by beautifying, why doesn't she become more classy by classifying?
Sprelious
10-19-2011, 12:04 AM
It's only English.
Where can you find a good woman?
venuspop
10-19-2011, 01:00 AM
From a good place.
Is there such a place?
reiven
10-19-2011, 03:07 AM
no.
everything everywhere sucks.
why do wild boars have a corkscrew appendage?
venuspop
10-19-2011, 05:22 AM
The mystifying position of anal stoppers made such an appendage necessary and often vital.
Have you seen such an appendage?
thebrainpolice
10-19-2011, 09:46 AM
Yes, I use it to open wine bottles all the time.
What does the phrase "hung like a horse" mean?
gracious
10-19-2011, 09:49 AM
I believe they do that in the slaughterhouse to qualify the meat as kosher.
What does verklempt mean?
Gerard91
10-19-2011, 01:11 PM
It does mean something for sure.
Can you make me a sandwich, PLEASE?
thebrainpolice
10-19-2011, 04:09 PM
Yes.
Why are there so many depressed people on the Relationships and Dating Forum?
IronSulfide
10-19-2011, 05:07 PM
Because they date and have relationships.
Why aren't revolving doors more common?
pottersjar
10-19-2011, 05:13 PM
They spread Vertigo.
When did the Dead Sea first notice it was sick?
discontinuous
10-19-2011, 09:10 PM
Noticeable water retention.
What's above top gear?
venuspop
10-19-2011, 11:11 PM
headgear
Does cannibals exist today?
jkatra
10-19-2011, 11:26 PM
Yes, but they only eat vegetables.
Why should I believe anything you say?
venuspop
10-19-2011, 11:43 PM
Because you still owe me $36 Million.
When will you pay?
pottersjar
10-20-2011, 05:21 AM
When the square root of the current interest rates equals the sum of all fears.
Given the shape of all pregnant women at full term, why are only 29% of babies born round?
It's not the shape of the uterus, it's how you use it.
2-part question: How do you stop biting your fingernails? How do you stop biting other people's fingernails?
pottersjar
10-20-2011, 05:47 AM
Start sucking your thumb; start sucking other people's thumbs.
Why don't more auctioneers transition to yodeling?
Gerard91
10-20-2011, 07:20 AM
Because they don't know about it.
Why is fire so hot?
pottersjar
10-20-2011, 07:59 AM
It's not; it just feels that way for an illusionary moment because you are contacting it for less than 30 seconds. Keep your hand in the fire for 31 seconds and it cools soothingly with a nearly euphoric sensation.
How were parachutes invented?
gracious
10-20-2011, 09:09 AM
Parachutes were invented on the fly.
Why doesn't everyone enjoy puns?
pottersjar
10-20-2011, 09:38 AM
Because critics panned the play on words.
When was the War of 1812 fought?
Gerard91
10-20-2011, 10:10 AM
1812 years before Christ was born. But he was actually born 7 years before his birth. Christian logic.
Cigarettes can cause cancer, beer can cause serious injury when you drink too much. Why are cigarettes the worse ones?
Sprelious
10-20-2011, 10:27 AM
It's all about insurance pofits.
Why is insurance a for profit enterprise?
Mikko
10-20-2011, 10:31 AM
Because nonprofit and charitable organizations are too empathetic to refuse to pay.
Why does it rain?
pottersjar
10-20-2011, 10:33 AM
It doesn't rain. Someone's always peeing on you from the balcony.
How large a meteor would have to strike the earth before a change of solar orbit?
Mikko
10-20-2011, 10:49 AM
A decent sized kidney stone from the balcony above might be enough.
Why did they originally run naked in the olympics (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.), but no more so?
pottersjar
10-20-2011, 11:02 AM
They originally did it to save money in the one-on-one tug-of-war competition; they stopped doing it to try to end the Olympic boycott by Chinese and Irish men.
If we call flies flies, why don't we call ants walks?
Mikko
10-20-2011, 11:12 AM
Because they run.
What is "Catch and release"?
pottersjar
10-20-2011, 11:35 AM
The title of Bill Clinton's memoir.
Is Rasmussen accurately polling Herman Cain as victor in a head-to-head election against Barak Obama?
Comen
10-20-2011, 11:36 AM
It is a sexual game played with sheeps that is very popular in small villages where there are very few women.
EDIT:Damm slow english typing...
Of course he is Wrong, everybody knows that the liberal party candidate is the one who is going to beat obama and become the next pressident of USA
If in Spain the beaver is called bunny, how do they call the cock?
Mikko
10-20-2011, 11:54 AM
By mobile phone.
How many architects does it take to change a light bulb?
Gerard91
10-20-2011, 12:00 PM
You can have whole population of architects in the world, but none of them will do that. They will only make schematics of changing the light bulb (of course in various versions).
What does cocaine smell like? (I think I smell some narcotics in the air now, but not sure what are they).
Comen
10-20-2011, 12:09 PM
Cocaine smells like snow.
How many pints has a human body?
Sprelious
10-20-2011, 01:18 PM
Depends on the bar.
Is drinking good for you?
Gerard91
10-20-2011, 01:24 PM
Yes, we all need water.
Is it acceptable to believe people who claim to have superpowers?
pottersjar
10-20-2011, 01:56 PM
Yes. Obama said when he was elected that "this is the moment that the rise of the oceans begin to slow." He also promised to reduce unemployment.
What is the healthiest way to lose weight?
WoodsWoman
10-20-2011, 04:06 PM
Limit yourself to jellybeans and cola.
Why are marshmallows squishy?
thebrainpolice
10-20-2011, 04:46 PM
They have no spines.
What is an STD?
WoodsWoman
10-20-2011, 04:50 PM
A solitary tidy dish.
Where to ants come from?
Comen
10-20-2011, 04:51 PM
They came from a russian lab, they are mini-spyes prototypes that scaped from an underground prision.
Why some people adopt rats as pets?
venuspop
10-20-2011, 07:40 PM
To annoy their mothers.
How do you choose between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea?
phoboser
10-20-2011, 08:10 PM
Ask yourself if you hate or love LL Cool J.
did you get that from Jeopardy today?
venuspop
10-20-2011, 09:02 PM
No. I got that from reading profile pages.
Have you read anything creepy lately?
phoboser
10-20-2011, 09:07 PM
Mr. Rogers' memoirs.
What is that... thing, in your avatar?
venuspop
10-20-2011, 09:11 PM
That "thing" is my pet chihuahua.
Is your avatar confiscated?
phoboser
10-20-2011, 09:17 PM
It violated the terms of service.
What's wrong with him?
venuspop
10-20-2011, 09:18 PM
Cat got his tongue.
Will he get it back?
Sprelious
10-21-2011, 01:06 AM
Sure, he can grab it between lives.
How long is a cat dead between lives?
Comen
10-21-2011, 01:50 AM
Depends on how long he needs to perform the resurrection ritual.
Why is blood thicker than water?
Sprelious
10-21-2011, 02:44 AM
Chemistry.
Why is there religion?
venuspop
10-21-2011, 03:58 AM
To keep us in our shoes.
What happens when you're too big for your shoes?
Gerard91
10-21-2011, 07:37 AM
They brake.
Why did Eve eat an apple? Because she was seduced by perspective of Jobs?
discontinuous
10-21-2011, 07:42 AM
^^They become sandals.
She doesn't like doctors.
What did the bird do to the bee? Why won't anyone tell me?
pottersjar
10-21-2011, 07:57 AM
Because they are linear thinkers and answer only one question at a time.
What happens when you mix the Pythagorean theorem with the second law of thermodynamics?
gracious
10-21-2011, 09:45 AM
Lobster Thermodorean.
Why do people go so nuts for lobster anyway?
Gerard91
10-21-2011, 11:20 AM
Because lobsters are an imprint of bourgeoisie.
Why did God create different states of weather?
pottersjar
10-21-2011, 11:40 AM
To give seasonal options to people who change their avatars.
What preceded the toothbrush for oral hygiene?
Gerard91
10-21-2011, 11:43 AM
I suppose toilet brush had more uses than today.
Why is the sky blue? To suit INTJs color preferences?
Sprelious
10-21-2011, 07:27 PM
The sky is blue because green was already over used.
Why is grass green?
pottersjar
10-21-2011, 11:49 PM
To complement the sky.
What would chairs look like if our knees bent the other way?
jkatra
10-22-2011, 12:29 AM
Like Donald Trump.
How much is a penny worth?
venuspop
10-22-2011, 05:44 AM
A penny is worth as much as your thought.
What were you thinking?
thebrainpolice
10-22-2011, 06:32 AM
"I should get a tattoo of a naked woman."
Why do women find my body unimpressive?
pottersjar
10-22-2011, 07:47 AM
Because they have no sense of humor.
What will Iran do with its nuclear power plants?
jkatra
10-22-2011, 09:36 AM
They will sell them through a lemonade stand.
What time is it?
Gerard91
10-22-2011, 11:11 AM
For grandma Europe it's time to sleep.
Is space infinite?
jkatra
10-22-2011, 11:15 AM
It's partially infinite.
Is time infinite?
Gerard91
10-22-2011, 11:20 AM
I know only that the universe started once I started to remember things.
Isn't time just a function of categorizing memories?
jkatra
10-22-2011, 11:23 AM
No, it's a function of me getting my butt out of bed and being vaguely aware of things.
Why aren't you a rock star?
Gerard91
10-22-2011, 11:27 AM
Because I don't want to be a mountain.
My teacher said once that I "failed my career as a physicist"? Does that mean I have some potential in this area?
Sprelious
10-22-2011, 11:40 AM
Teachers are like hemorhroids. You have as much potential as you believe you do.
Why are teachers like hemorrhoids
Gerard91
10-22-2011, 11:51 AM
Because they need medical treatment.
Why is the Moon so unfriendly for people?
Its cheesy.
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What's the cheapest way to avoid gravity?
Sprelious
10-22-2011, 07:23 PM
A roller coaster.
What is gravity?
phoboser
10-22-2011, 07:43 PM
Earth charisma.
Who framed Roger Rabbit?
Sprelious
10-22-2011, 10:17 PM
Bill Clinton. He needed to shift blame somewhere
Where does the sun go at night?
phoboser
10-22-2011, 10:20 PM
That's a grownup topic ask your mother.
Why do we yearn?
Because we are empty.
How do you get paid to live instead of paying to live?
jkatra
10-23-2011, 12:17 PM
Become a dental hygienist.
Why do we always have to brush our teeth?
venuspop
10-23-2011, 10:57 PM
Because the filthy language that goes through them is enough to make the bacteria between your teeth sick!
Why does women apply lipsticks?
thebrainpolice
10-24-2011, 09:56 AM
Because smearing petrol-chemicals on your face makes you look purdy.
How many scratch off lottery tickets do I need to buy to become a millionaire?
gracious
10-24-2011, 01:43 PM
I would imagine one winning one would do the trick.
Why am I not a paid chauffeur?
Because you ride a bicycle.
Why is handwriting still used?
venuspop
10-24-2011, 09:32 PM
Well, they tried to phase it out but realized they couldn't because footwriting is not very legible.
Why is my coffee bitter today?
stopwinking
10-24-2011, 10:54 PM
Because she noticed you've been tasting the younger teas and colas.
Is 'passive agression' an oxymoron?
venuspop
10-24-2011, 11:04 PM
As oxymoronic as whispering loudly.
Is there such a thing as "deoxymoron"?
WoodsWoman
10-25-2011, 05:48 AM
Of course! They work in detoxification centers.
Are beagles intelligent?
Mikko
10-25-2011, 10:26 AM
I doubt it - they were an English rock band, active throughout the 1960's.
Does body have a language?
WoodsWoman
10-25-2011, 11:33 AM
Everyone says so, but I haven't learned it yet.
Why is it so important to flush the toilet?
Sprelious
10-25-2011, 01:40 PM
The water supply depends upon it.
Why is it important to turn off the lights when you leave a room?
WoodsWoman
10-25-2011, 05:27 PM
The brownies won't do their work if you leave the lights on.
Why is Finnish such a difficult language?
venuspop
10-25-2011, 10:47 PM
Because it is a language for the difficult people.
What language does the free and easy speak?
Mikko
10-26-2011, 08:54 AM
Dierks Bentley speaks country music.
When will English be replaced by Chinese as the Lingua Franca?
thebrainpolice
10-26-2011, 09:42 AM
When China gets more nukes.
Why can't world leaders resolve their differences in a way that doesn't involve mass slaughter?
gracious
10-26-2011, 09:48 AM
Because it is so difficult to slaughter based on volume.
Why such lofty ideas today?
thebrainpolice
10-26-2011, 09:50 AM
Because I finally pulled my mind out of the gutter. But only for a second.
How many prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb?
gracious
10-26-2011, 09:58 AM
Depends, how much money have you got in your wallet?
Is it worth the risk?
reiven
10-26-2011, 03:46 PM
Zoellinhoffer projects a 83% fail rate for first time attempts, with an aggregate 2.6 improvement on each successive try.
i'd have to say no.
who was cyrano de bergerac?
WoodsWoman
10-26-2011, 06:04 PM
He's the man who invented the beverage burgundy.
Why are 'after dinner' drinks so popular?
Because its a socially acceptable way of getting drunk.
Why is alcohol legal?
venuspop
10-26-2011, 10:31 PM
Because it is never served underaged.
What use is a belly button?
reiven
10-27-2011, 02:41 AM
it is the window to the soul.
what is herringbone?
venuspop
10-27-2011, 05:30 AM
The bone inside a herring.
Where's the funny bone?
Mikko
10-27-2011, 10:39 AM
It's the one responsible for a funny boner.
Why are the Simpsons yellow?
reiven
10-27-2011, 11:09 AM
the simpsons cartoon series was among the artifacts found in the Qumran caves. it is amazing they were able to get them to spin on the 8mm reels.
why are the colors of the rainbow always in the same order?
WoodsWoman
10-27-2011, 12:22 PM
They are easily confused.
When is the next eclipse?
Silverblitz
10-27-2011, 12:48 PM
Whenever ellipse decides to trade its 'l' for a 'c'
Why did the dinosaurs die?
thebrainpolice
10-27-2011, 06:37 PM
AIDS epidemic.
If the world is round, why don't people fall off of it?
venuspop
10-27-2011, 09:13 PM
We are rooted to the world. We move about on the surface by uprooting our feet for very short spells.
Why aren't birds rooted too?
stopwinking
10-28-2011, 04:55 AM
" Because we're bloody well natural blondes, you tosser ! "
Do walruses weep ?
venuspop
10-28-2011, 05:06 AM
Only when they see you. ;)
Why do they weep?
GettingBetter
10-29-2011, 08:45 AM
Because they see you.
Do walruses sleep?
Gerard91
10-29-2011, 11:00 AM
No, they regularly faint.
What does love feel like?
Mikko
10-29-2011, 02:58 PM
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. It's a secret and I signed an NDA with the NSA. They fear it's contagious.
If a tree falls in the woods, but nobody is there to hear it, does it make a sound?
It makes the sound of one hand clapping a dog barking up the wrong tree, just as it was leaving.
What's the best way for INTJs and ESFPs to relate?
jkatra
10-29-2011, 04:54 PM
Sex.
What is sex?
Sprelious
10-29-2011, 08:26 PM
If you have to ask ......
What is sex?
Apophenia
10-29-2011, 08:34 PM
An anaerobic reaction within the caudate nucleus.
How do you make souffle?
Sprelious
10-29-2011, 08:36 PM
With Spinach and Oregeno.
How do you make an appointment?
Grave
10-29-2011, 08:48 PM
By pointing to the right direction.
Is the next poster going to answer my question with a right answer?
jkatra
10-29-2011, 11:00 PM
Anteaters are your friends.
What is the secret to happiness?
Gerard91
10-30-2011, 02:32 AM
If I'd tell you it wouldn't be a secret any more.
How does it feel to be the Sensing type and see the world as concrete facts / feelings?
Mikko
10-30-2011, 02:37 AM
^ ^ (snaked) To fool people, they make you believe it's chemicals: dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin and vasopressin. The clever secret is, that yes, it is a chemical one, but the secret chemical key to happiness is sodium hypochlorite + vinegar, 2 cups once a day for 3 weeks.
^ The sensing people are so sensitive, they cast there facts and feelings in concrete, thus their head is a bit heavy, unable to reach the skies.
Why is there a SNOWTOBER in the U.S. but here we have green grass and +10'C?
venuspop
10-30-2011, 05:23 AM
Too much heat and passion where you are.
Why can't I think of what to ask?
thebrainpolice
10-30-2011, 05:42 AM
Because you're a sensing person and your head is heavy from the concrete ^^
What shape is an iNtuitive person?
venuspop
10-30-2011, 05:49 AM
Depends on the mood.
Does shape matter?
Mikko
10-30-2011, 08:28 AM
No, it's how you use it.
What mood is the best to be in?
Vhanon
10-30-2011, 10:34 AM
That depends on the situation. If you are trying to cheer a friend up, it is better to feel depressed that way your friend will say "Oh compared to him, I'm the happiest man on Earth". If you are trying to scold somebody, it is better to be happy, that way you are showing him you are enjoying it. That will discourage him even more when he is about to do the same mistake again.
What color does belong to a rainbow?
Gerard91
10-30-2011, 12:00 PM
Mostly black and white.
Do you think that 4 generations are enough to clear the religious philosophy of a family?
GettingBetter
10-30-2011, 04:28 PM
Sure. But by the 5th generation it swings completely around back to where it all started.
How do you kill a spider the size of a car?
Sprelious
10-30-2011, 05:04 PM
With great delight.
How do you catch a mouse?
momorawr
10-30-2011, 06:56 PM
I'm not 100% sure but I know it involves lard, shot guns, and a back massage.
How do they make new scents for perfumes and colognes?
venuspop
10-30-2011, 10:43 PM
By twiddling with the percentages.
Does Tweedledee and Tweedledum tweedle all day long?
WoodsWoman
10-31-2011, 06:12 AM
Indeed they do! They LOVE statistics.
Why did it snow in October?
Polymath20
10-31-2011, 06:14 AM
Why did it snow in October?
Because the summer got mad at you and ran away.
How many hamster armies does it take to defeat a gerbil army?
Silverblitz
10-31-2011, 06:23 AM
Zero, they are still running on their wheels.
Why are mondays tiring?
WoodsWoman
10-31-2011, 06:48 AM
Mondays weigh more than the all the rest of the week put together.
Why are there four seasons?
Gerard91
10-31-2011, 06:52 AM
It was Gods idea. Ask him.
Why do people hate juice? Because it has too much sugar?
Silverblitz
10-31-2011, 06:54 AM
Yes, sugar and juice had a fight and broke up.
Why do squirrels cross the road?
WoodsWoman
10-31-2011, 06:59 AM
To cause car accidents.
Why are mosquitoes only out in warm weather?
Gerard91
10-31-2011, 06:59 AM
Because they like to sunbathe.
Why are dinosaurs extinct?
Silverblitz
10-31-2011, 07:10 AM
Because you touch yourself at night.
Who wants pancakes?
gracious
10-31-2011, 09:56 AM
Mimes - but they seem to be at a loss to find a way to tell you so just keep giving them frisbees.
Why does this hour pass faster than the other hours of my day?
Gerard91
10-31-2011, 10:29 AM
Because God is bored.
Can you send me some chocolate, please?
jkatra
10-31-2011, 11:13 AM
I can send you a stapler, which should be an effective substitute.
Are people always nice?
Gerard91
10-31-2011, 11:22 AM
Yes, as long as they live (in) Nice.
Do you like bread?
reiven
10-31-2011, 04:21 PM
when crumbled between two layers of fabric, bread is an excellent insulator.
when is the sword mightier than the pen?
WandryMinded
10-31-2011, 04:37 PM
When dipped in ink.
What happened to the unicorns???
datagirl
10-31-2011, 04:43 PM
everybody wants to be bi
why do parents allow their children to take candy from strangers on Halloween?
reiven
10-31-2011, 04:51 PM
to distract the neighbors while daddy sneaks in through the bathroom window and steals their mepergans.
why do little girls wanna dress up as a princess?
stopwinking
10-31-2011, 06:13 PM
Because their brothers always steal their Spiderman costume right before they're heading out the door.
Is an 'is' a 'was' in any instance other than 'other'ness?
venuspop
10-31-2011, 09:49 PM
Absolutely.
Can you stop winking?
stopwinking
11-01-2011, 08:51 PM
Never started.
Does the pope sh*t in the woods?
Sprelious
11-01-2011, 09:28 PM
The pope has no anus.
Does the pope have a penis?
venuspop
11-01-2011, 09:44 PM
Absolutely.
Do you need any proof?
stopwinking
11-02-2011, 03:01 AM
It's in the reliquary.No flash photography.
Pez dispensers-thoughts?
venuspop
11-02-2011, 04:42 AM
No. They don't think.
Why are they popular?
Mikko
11-02-2011, 12:00 PM
Because they do not think. Popular ones rarely do.
Is there a Pez dispenser modeled after the aforementioned (^^^^) Pope's body parts?
Gerard91
11-02-2011, 01:46 PM
No. It was not approved by Kim-Dzong-Ill and his son, Kim-Dzong-Healthy.
If a tree falls in the woods, does lumberman care about its feelings?
Sprelious
11-02-2011, 06:43 PM
Contrary to popular believe, lumbermen are very empathetic. For that reason they only cut down trees that everyone hated anyway.
Do lumbermen lumber?
GenessorDios
11-02-2011, 10:40 PM
They do. They also leep and hit nooze when they're too exhauted.
How much praying must I do to become a millionaire?
Artio
11-02-2011, 10:45 PM
One Ave Maria for every cent.
Will Milan Kundera publish one more novel?
Rachel45
11-03-2011, 12:10 AM
Yes, he informed me he will...for you!
Will I get this poem finished in time?
reiven
11-03-2011, 03:08 AM
yes. but it is the stick-figure illustrations that will make you famous.
how does bleach work?
Artio
11-03-2011, 04:49 AM
First it vaporizes, then obtrudes into your receptors, which makes your brain experience pleasure whenever you smell chlorine.
How much coffee is too much?
More than two cups a day.
What is borderline personality disorder?
GenessorDios
11-03-2011, 05:42 AM
The only thing keeping me from kissing you right now.
Which is more round, a CD or my loneliness?
thebrainpolice
11-03-2011, 09:33 AM
A CD. I'm pretty sure loneliness is shaped like a square.
Why did Nicola Tesla's parents name him after an 80s hair metal band?
GettingBetter
11-03-2011, 03:43 PM
They didn't. They named him after two sodas, but they got confused and didn't spell well anyway.
Why don't we start sending US kids to school all year round?
Hynra
11-03-2011, 06:43 PM
Because if we did the crime rates might go down.
If crime doesn't pay, what are the wages of sin paid in?
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