I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game

[Fridays Child]

Even I'm not touching that one. :stunned:

How did we lose our way?

[Wapiti]

Because you closed your eyes and refused to touch it.

How did that post go horribly wrong?

[JessicaHavenLea]

It went straight when it should have made a U-turn at the second light.

Should rama-lama ding dongs be sucked or bitten?

[rwyatt365]

Everyone knows that rama-lama ding dongs should be bitten, but only enough to lick out the creamy filling. Sucking one is just wrong.

Which is better, a rama-lama, or a shoo-wop?

[faedra]

Rama-llamas, of course! Robotic South American camelids beat arrogant worms any day :p

[rwyatt365]

Rama-llamas, of course! Robotic South American camelids beat arrogant worms any day :p
And your question is?

(oh, wait! That's a question, isn't it?)

[faedra]

Hey, I'm very certain I edited that post!

Anyway, my question: to be or not to be?

(That's not a question, and it's not mine either, but this is the Wrong Answer game ;) )

[le Duc]

Yeah, but it's not the Wrong Question game. ;) But not to be, definitely.

Did I miss something?

[rwyatt365]

Yes, but if you really apply yourself maybe the next time you can hit it. Practice makes perfect.

Why should children not run while holding scissors?

[bladeserver]

Exactly the same reason they shouldn't run while holding calculators. Listen up kids. Running is bad for you.

Why is a stitch in time so darn useful?

[Synamon]

You answered your own question, a stitch in time is useful to darn.... socks.

What is the nature of the beast?

[faedra]

<s>To get Time to stop running and take a rest once in a while.

Why is running bad for you?</s>

Beastly, of course!

When's the MINE button getting installed?

Yeah, but it's not the Wrong Question game. ;)

No, but I was answering rwyatt's question, wrongly!

[le Duc]

The button installer dudes are booked up through October 27th.

How?

[Seppuku Savant]

Photosynthesis, of course.

Is orange good?

[faedra]

No, it's carcinogenic! Green's better.

Who?

[le Duc]

Me. Always me.

Who had the dogs in originally?

[faedra]

You, always you!

Where did you let the dogs out to?

[rewhu]

The dogs were let out in front of my neighbor's house and now he has fair amount of doggie waste to clean up. He is not a happy man.

Can the Flobots really ride their bikes with no handles bars?

[le Duc]

Life is an illusion. Flobots on handlebarless bikes are real.

What's up?

[rewhu]

What's up - Chicken Butt
What's new - Chicken Poo
So where - Chicken Hair
Then why - Chicken Thigh
And how - Chicken Cow

D'oh?

[Synamon]

D'uh.

Why are there so many new food threads? Now I'm always starving when I'm on here.

[le Duc]

Get on at a different time.

Oh, and what's for lunch!?

[rwyatt365]

Assorted chicken pieces.

Why does everything "taste like chicken"?

[le Duc]

Chocolate doesn't.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

[Fridays Child]

Apparently, because he saw my avatar.

Why does this disturb me?

[rewhu]

It doesn't. Your avatar doesn't normally look like that. You're just having an allergic reaction to all the chocolate covered chicken pieces you ate earlier.

Which is cooler - drooling or dribbling?

[le Duc]

It doesn't. Not a chance.

Why do people get such freaky avatars instead of nice little superheros contemplating at sunset?



Hey, at least we both agree about Fridays child.

Drooling over dribbling is the way to go. I couldn't play basketball to save my life.

But why would I need to play it to save my life, anyway?

[rewhu]

le Duc - d'oh!

[le Duc]

rewhu - so you're faster... this time. I'm so over it.

[rewhu]

But why would I need to play it to save my life, anyway?


Ha!

Because when you get to the pearly gates you're gonna have to go one-on-one against St. Peter. You better bring your A game or plan on spending eternity being a benchwarmer in Hell.

Is Satan a baller or a shot-caller?

[rwyatt365]

Satan is a baller, oh yeah! He's got a fade-away jumper to die for.

If Satan went one-on-one with St Peter, who would win?

[rewhu]

While St. Peter does have mad skills, I'd have to go with Satan only because I believe St. Peter's game would be hindered by those strappy sandals and robes he's so fond of wearing. Satan on the other hand would play totally naked, making him very streamlined.

If I die from drowning in a sea of fruit smoothie will I be reincarnated as a strawberry daiquiri?

[Fridays Child]

Oh, I do so hope not.... I'm allergic to strawberries and very thirsty.

Who was this guy Daiquiri anyhow?

[faedra]

He was originally a potato farmer, but he wanted revenge on his neighbour, a pig farmer whose livestock got out of control one day and ruined his crop. And as luck would have it, his neighbour was an alcoholic who was allergic to strawberries.

What is the Third Estate?

[m00n1]

Where do the swallows of Capistrano fly?

To a McDonalds in France.

Why is the sky blue?

[Arcani]

The Third Estate is where all the unworthy people hang out. Thus it is the cool part of town where all the nobles wish they could be.

The sky is blue because blue is the perfect compliment to the yellow-white of our sun and is therefore the only color capable of holding it up. Without a blue sky, the sun would fall down and then what would we do?

... so yeah, what would we do?

[Seppuku Savant]

We die-die-die. So, we can live-live-live.

Why do houses generally have roofs?

[faedra]

In case the sun falls down. The roofless houses belong to ESFPs who don't mind unannounced company.

Why do houses generally have doors?

[bladeserver]

Most houses don't. How long have you been noticing this phenomena? Have you also been observing bright lights? Any dizziness?


Why are the White cliffs of Dover actually duck egg grey? Does this violate the truth in advertising statutes? (yes I know that's two questions).

[rwyatt365]

The cliffs of Dover are actually white, it's just that the lighting in that part of the UK is so bad that they look greyish. A new 60Watt bulb would clear all of that up.

Why am I doing this instead of some productive work?

[ssrprotege]

You established a mind-link between the INTJf and yourself. You know, it was a bonus, or prize I shall say, for being a Core Member.

Why does "r" stand for in "rwyatt"? Robin? Ryan? Robert?

[rwyatt365]

"Radish", my mom had some insane cravings before I was born. I was the object of ridicule (and salads) as a child.

Why would anyone name their child after a vegetable?

[ssrprotege]

Because they are healthy! :cheesy: (pun?)

Why would people not name their children after a fruit?

By the way, I don't believe you are Radish Wyatt. But it does sound pretty funny. ;D

[zibber]

Vegetables used to be associated with satanic practices.

How does a watch work?

[le Duc]

One guard comes in, watches for eight hours, the next guard relieves him, repeat. Pretty simple, really.

I do believe he is Radish Wyatt. We've been looking for him.

Good morning. Did you sleep well?

[ssrprotege]

My ego did ;D, but not my superego and my poor id. :(

Isn't it the time for you to go to bed?

[zibber]

No, and I will never even attempt to sleep standing up again.

Where do ducks come from?

[ssrprotege]

No, and I will never even attempt to sleep standing up again.


I used to imagine it would be cool to be able to sleep standing up with my eyes open. :p

Oh, and where do ducks come from?

They come from birds. If birds get fat and can't fly anymore, they choose to live in water. They transform themselves into ducks by changing their feet. That's how ducks were made. When God created the world, He lacked clay to create appropriate feet.

Where does money come from?

[Fridays Child]

That's easy. Piggy banks, of course.

Where does money go?

[ssrprotege]

That's easy. Corporates, of course.

Where does one's ego come from?

[bladeserver]

They all come from a small place called Oswego where the tradition has ben handed down from father to child. Yes, yes I know you were thinking why Oswego ( It stands for Our superiorly worked Ego's. Clumsy I admit but they had little sense of inventiveness in those times).

Do you really think so?

[Fridays Child]

No. Lego my ego.

When will I know the time has come?

[bladeserver]

You will get a sign. A very unusual cloud formation in the shape of a central European country whose name I am not at liberty to reveal. The message will be in their native language so you will need to do the following:-

1. learn all central European languages.

2. Constantly have your head raised skyward.

Why is it always me?

[Fridays Child]

1) Done.

2) Done.

Oooo! Oooo! Let it be Liechtensteinese!

It's never you: lego your ego.

Why is it never me?

[iceberg]

Because you weren't born with male and female genetalia making you unappealling to a rapidly androgenizing world.

Why don't I have a younger clone to mentor?

[Seppuku Savant]

You do. Unfortunately he has already surpassed you and enveloped himself in the protection of those that are helping him rule the world. Maybe you should pick someone that isn't a genius, next time.

What is Iceberg holding in that avatar?

[iceberg]

Its a laser screwdriver, as if anyone would use sonic.

What is the natural log of peanut butter?

[Fridays Child]

There is nothing natural about peanut butter: it is an abomination unto my sight!

Why couldn't you have picked marmalade?

[iceberg]

Beacause oranges were determined to be a phalic food by the Vatican and putting them in your mouth is a sin. This created a recall on marmalade before it ever made it to the public.

Why don't more people have nipple piercings?

[bladeserver]

Until people develop that vital third nipple I think piercing will be nothing more than a marginal fad.

Why am I loving and giving?

[Fridays Child]

Because you were born on a Friday!

How did I know that?

[iceberg]

You are on his psychic friends network, giving you free anytime minutes when you talk or send messages telepathically.

Why am I having fun doing this?

[bladeserver]

Well actually I am full of woe so I am not at all sure how you knew that ;).


Mine. Bloody mine. Hmmmppphh.


Because you are disturbed much like the rest of us. Take 2 of these and see me in the morning.






Was it always thus?

[Fridays Child]

Yes; icebergs sank the Titanic, too.

Did you find the lifeboat?

[iceberg]

I did. Right next to the frozen foods and just before fresh produce.

Is looking directly into the sun a bad thing?

[Fridays Child]

No. I can still see just figmrlwhalsjd;asdjaflfjasjjdSKFDjfDfSDfdfkfkLfckzc zckfkf

What do black cats think are unlucky?

[rwyatt365]

Philadelphia policemen with nothing to do, at 4AM on a Friday night.

Why did I go there?

[Fridays Child]

To commune with W. C. Fields.

And who wouldn't, if they could?

[emanon]

Sam-I-Am (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

What is a D?

[hum]

an O...that got beaten up

am I drunk or what?

[Antisocialite]

an O...that got beaten up

am I drunk or what?

Not at all. The floor just stood up and smacked against you.

What is that smell?

[Fridays Child]

I hoped you wouldn't notice.

Shall I just leave now?

[Wapiti]

Yes, purple is beautiful too and it makes your avatar more pleasant to look at.

How much beer does it take to get a camel drunk?

[Synamon]

Exactly one tablespoon per hump.

How much per hump? (couldn't resist LOL)

[Fridays Child]

About 3 minutes, according to Alan Greenspan.


How far is it to Nowheresville?

[Journey]

Approximately 300 big toes on your next left. Which way is my ceiling fan spinning?

[JessicaHavenLea]

The wrong way. Put it on the floor and try again.

What's in your wallet?

[bladeserver]

The entire board of Capital One financial who are on the run from the Securities and Exchange commission.

Is it time to make the donuts?

[Fridays Child]

No. But it is half-past Jaffa Cakes. Put on the kettle.

Why don't cakes have handles?

[Synamon]

For the same reason donuts don't have holes, they just don't need them.

Why do people always post about food when I haven't even had my breakfast?

[Fridays Child]

It's your avatar. If you had mine, this wouldn't happen.

Why aren't there more blue foods?

[Synamon]

Because food is happy, ergo it can't be blue. (sigh, food again)

Why am I hungry?

[Fridays Child]

It's not hunger: it's a thirst for knowledge. People are always mistaking those two. I once ate my way through the entire Encyclopaedia Britannica before I realized that I just needed some tea.

Why are CD-ROM versions less tasty?

[Seppuku Savant]

You didn't add any seasoning. It helps.

Why is grass green?

[Synamon]

It's really not, it is envious of all the flowers and appears green. When the flowers all wither and die the grass shows up as it's natural yellowy-brown color.

Why do we worship the ground people walk on?

[Fridays Child]

Because we are all pagans at heart. Hail Gaia!

Anyone seen my scapegoat?

[bladeserver]

Duh. Its right where you left it tending to your lawn.

What ever happened to Baby Jane on the way to the Forum?

[Lupin]

Well, on the way, a funny thing happened to Baby Jane and the rest is history :).

I, Claudius?

[bladeserver]

Me Tarzan.

Did Hadrian go over the wall?

[Fridays Child]

Yes. But only in search of a deep-fried Mars Bar. He was several centuries too early, of course, but what foresight!

Did Hannibal lecture?

[Lupin]

No, fortunately he couldn't get passed 'classroom assistant' due to lack of empathy skills and a tendancy to hang about a bit too long in the Wendy House.

Is the tail wagging the dog?

[Synamon]

Nope, it's an optical illusion, the tongue wags the dog, just like when old women (or men) gossip, dogs are the biggest gossip of all.

Why do tongues wag?

[Fridays Child]

Because people like to slouch about in untied runners.

Why are yoga mats so thin?

[Synamon]

Because people who do yoga already have lots of padding, have you seen those asses? Huge.

Why do they call it "downward dog"?

[Fridays Child]

Because "downward escalator" was taken. As was "draft", "spiral" and "walrus". Don't ask.

Why do horses love sugar?

[Synamon]

They are all diabetic, but the equestrian world keeps it hushed up.

Why do I love sugar?

[Fridays Child]

You, um... don't! (Because the equestrian world is keeping you a secret, too.)

What on earth did that mean?

[Synamon]

That I'm a horse? Thank a bunch. Neigh. Now I'm craving carrots.

What does anything mean?

[ssrprotege]

Floccinaucinihilipilification (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).

Why do people coin words?

[Fridays Child]

To get the chocolate out.

Why are my pockets full of apples?

[Synamon]

Neigh, don't know, don't care, give me one. Bumps against your shoulder with my long nose. Shakes my mane appealingly.

Why am I pretending to be a horse?

[Fridays Child]

To get round my NO HUGGLES policy. Must... resist... adorable... horsies....

Why didn't I ask Alice?

[bladeserver]

Because she refuses to tell you what the B. stands for and you have made it a personal rule (and why not indeed) to run all your guests through the PWETM database.

Why am i lazily observing humanity from this balcony when all of Canterbury awaits?

[Lupin]

Because Alice went off the beaten track in Wonderland and lost her mobile so you couldn't call her. You had to rely on your own judgement, which, however flawed, shows some personal responsibility and independence....keep it up!

In the grand scheme of things are we merely pawns or, in fact, just prawns?





Lupin added to this post, 7 minutes and 52 seconds later...

Oops, Blade....you always get there first. You rascal :).

The whole of Canterbury awaits......the influx of eastern europeans from the inbound Dover-Calais ferry and the exodus of the Men of Kent to sunnier and well-frequented spots like the Costas from Lydd.... so get off the balcony and start stewarding, there's HM Customs & Excise to be done. *Someone murmurs "Sangatte" under their breath and is frog-marched off the high street.*

Do our cells have a memory?

[bladeserver]

Apparently so. I was, unjustly, incarcerated in the special "Kray" cell and I was definitely channeling Ronnie. The voices I hear now are quite different from my old voices and involve mayhem and delusion in a marvelous and unpredictable cocktail.

Seriously what is the purpose of stiffening up the sinews when the alternative is to laze around eating Battenbergs?

[Lupin]

Lazing around eating Battenbergs (with the obligatory pint of milk or hot steaming tea....not that I would know *slight blush in memory of naughty, foodie, adolescent behaviour which the gall bladder wouldn't cope with today*) is a pastime only fit for royalty or YOUNG PEOPLE so I would consider the health of your sinews as perhaps a higher priority. Nobody wants a flabby Blade....trust me, (we all have such a different image of you and podgy isn't one of them ;) ).

Did you know that artwork by the Krays, featuring a white house in every painting, are now being sold at auction for thousands of pounds? Given that the closed question gives a Y or N answer, I'll amend it to ask.......

What makes the creative bent of notorious East End gangsters merit financial rewards on the grounds of artistic scarcity?

[bladeserver]

Speaking as Ronnies new mouthpiece (start zombification) Cos luv they are bloody great and if you don buy em i'll smash yer face in (end zombification).
In other words fear motivates half of the buyers and the rest, like me, just keep buying them because (a)we like to think we are hard (b) we are idiots (c) have not one critical bone in our body (d) tend to think they go with all the rest of our velvet artwork we bought in a hotel on our last Florida trip.

Now I also have to deal with my image issues. Clearly podgy is out. Nobody except Syn has called me hideous in the last month so thats a good start.


Why is everyone wearing coats today and I'm still wearing shorts?

[kevintr]

Nothing reduces one's chances of srvival in a gun fight, or knife fight in the case of London, like stopping in the middle of the action and being inspired. Therefore few gangsters get a first artwork made and the chances of pulling the same feat off twice is miniscule, also art by dead people is worth more.

My wife wants me to help coach some unreasonable guy with emotional problems for court. How can I get sutch a basket case to give concise relivant answers to questions posed by a judge.





kevintr added to this post, 2 minutes and 38 seconds later...

OOps too slow. If there in trenchcoats it's because there's a flashers convintion in town.

My wife wants me to help coach some unreasonable guy with emotional problems for court. How can I get sutch a basket case to give concise relivant answers to questions posed by a judge.

[Lupin]

Perhaps wearing shorts says more about you. You're obviously quite proud of yourself and want to show a bit of leg even in inclement weather. Either that, or everyone else is going to a Christening or smart event to which short-wearers are not invited. Think on......is it them or YOU?

I wish that my thesis would create itself a little like the action-focused broomsticks in the Sorcerer's Apprentice (well, before they get completely out of control that is).

Apologies to the poster above......we were both on the nose with our fingers poised but you got in there first.

After you kind sir....

[bladeserver]

Nothing reduces one's chances of srvival in a gun fight, or knife fight in the case of London, like stopping in the middle of the action and being inspired. Therefore few gangsters get a first artwork made and the chances of pulling the same feat off twice is miniscule, also art by dead people is worth more.

My wife wants me to help coach some unreasonable guy with emotional problems for court. How can I get sutch a basket case to give concise relivant answers to questions posed by a judge.





kevintr added to this post, 2 minutes and 38 seconds later...

OOps too slow. If there in trenchcoats it's because there's a flashers convintion in town.

My wife wants me to help coach some unreasonable guy with emotional problems for court. How can I get sutch a basket case to give concise relivant answers to questions posed by a judge.
Well it seems pretty obvious. Get a body double. There are so many out of work Oxbridge actors and they should be able to lie and confuse with the best of them. ustice is more or less blind anyway and It's for the greater good and umm it's expedient and ummm should be rather fun. No charge for the advice.

Why didn't I ever do a thesis?

[Lupin]

Because you probably had no need to prove anything to anyone having been brought up "psychologically intact". Alternatively, perhaps you were indeed thesis material....but more the subject matter than the author, mais qui sait? Only you know but here is not the place to lament the lack of bits of paper with your name on them.....look in your desk drawer, you'll find plenty of bills and such displaying your name in all colours and typefaces which should really dispel ANY identity crisis. So you do exist in a very BIG way, even without a thesis!

Why is the university of life so easy to access without any formal qualifications and yet so tricky to navigate to a meaningful conclusion?


*why have I strayed back onto the Forum when, clearly, the thesis clock is ticking?* Obviously, I LOVE THIS SITE more than my qualification (today :)).

[bladeserver]

Well maybe your browser is a microsoft product. You should try this url

To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

and i think it will answer all your new age questions, those nagging unanswered probelms with crop circles and the UFO sightings over the southeast.

Pretty amazing stuff and i think this will lead to meaningful conclusions in the very near future. I know it has changed my life.

Where have all the flowers gone?

[Synamon]

The aliens got bored of making crop circles and made flower circles instead, obliterating them all.

Why are you wearing shorts in the summer in Britain, are you crazy?

[Fridays Child]

Rhetorical questions may contravene the thread book of rules. Besides, I cancelled the English summer last May, in a fit of pique.

Why didn't anyone notice?

[Lupin]

He's just a crazy mixed up Blade...the kinda kid who's adorable, slightly eccentric and doesn't give a hoot about the weather in his native country. When all around him are wearing macs, he's in his best Bermudas and proud!

Why once we've categorised everything in such detail and "put it away" does life appear far more mundane for the INTJ observer?





Lupin added to this post, 4 minutes and 29 seconds later...

Apologies, I didn't notice......your response because I was busy replying myself. Think I've hit a sugar low due to the amount of sweet and sticky foods I'm craving and downing to avoid the task at hand.

Just how loving and giving are you FC?

*Lupin reflects hard on the days of the week and thinks she's mistaken with the choice*

[Fridays Child]

Because tidiness is overrated. Vastly.

Did anyone else have trouble reading lurid green print on that website with the bloody twinkling stars in the background???


(edit) Excellent nursery rhyme retention, Lupin. Also, thank you for appreciating yet another of life's little cosmic ironies.

(further edit) Did you notice how I ducked the second question on the one-to-a-customer rule?

(yet another edit) Bother, bother, bother. Now I'VE asked two. Grrrr.

[bladeserver]

I've decided that your violation of the rules was so blatant that I have rescinded your right to ask a question and i have substituted my own.

xxxx xx xxx xxxxxxx xx xxxx?

43 of course.

Who thinks it was the correct decision for me to change into long trousers for the walk on the seafront?

[Fridays Child]

No fair asking the meaning of life question, thus rendering all that follows moot.

So, in the interests of humanity, imna just ignore it.

As for those trousers: while pink and green plaids are not to the taste of everyone, may I personally extend a message of relief from the entire Kentish coast that it, indeed, could have been far worse.

Did you remember to take the flag for your sandcastle?

[Synamon]

Yes he always carries his freak flag with him everywhere he goes. Don't leave home without it.

Why do I have so many freckles?

[Fridays Child]

I could mumble some rubbish about sun kisses but it's really because you want to be JUST LIKE ME.

And why wouldn't you?

[Synamon]

The sluggy hair for starters. (Of course this is wrong and I would want to be just like you.)

Who are you again?

[Fridays Child]

I'm so glad you asked me this. I mean, how often have we asked ourselves whether we truly know who we are. 500, 600 times a day usually. More on the weekends because we get up later and feel more refreshed and ready to ponder our place in the firmaments of heaven, assuming that's where we are, and certainly I do pause to reflect and so do you at times although I'm never quite sure about the rest of humanity, although the world is full of awfully nice people some of whom actually talk to me when they can't escape and I think they almost like it at times, but I digress. Oh. And I'm also that person who asks you to reach down that jar of ____ in Tesco's. Run! Run now!

I wish I hadn't tried to channel that one now; I feel quite billious.

[Synamon]

Hmmmm no question. Ok then I question your sanity.

Looking deep into your soul, huh, you are as sane as I am, go figure.

What was in that jar of _____ in Tesco's?

[Fridays Child]

Same as always... red herrings.

Why do I always fall for it?

[Synamon]

Because the color red hypnotizes you and makes you easy prey.


What is "it"?

[Fridays Child]

Chocolate, I think. At least, I certainly hope so. It would make all the skinned knees worthwhile.

What is that scratching at the door?

[Synamon]

Opportunity. You know the saying.

Why should I knock three times? (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

[Fridays Child]

To make sure that video is truly DEAD. Yikes!

Is that one creepy stalker, or what?

[Motor Jax]

actually, that was a paid actor (too bad i can't watch youtube at work :( )

what is the square root of 3.14?

[Fridays Child]

If you hadn't broken my slide rule I would have told you. Meanie!

Why don't snakes have feet?

[Elfrun]

Cause they have no hands to tie up laces, it's easier this way.



Dang! Disappear for a few days and there’s 5 freaken pages of wrong answers... why?

[bladeserver]

Because SOME people are very silly. I have been trying to bring sanity to this thread but, thus far, to no avail.

Why is Australia shaped like a cube?

[Elfrun]

Everyone knows cubes float the best, anything else and Oz would sink.



Why is my head full of so many inarticulate questions?

[bladeserver]

Personally I use Karvol and it works wonders.


Is youth wasted on the young?

[Elfrun]

Yes, and the term 'youth' is subjective and includes anyone younger then you. Everyone older fits the saying 'There's no such thing as old age, there is only sorrow' - Feel happy now?


Is it true that 2 is not equal to 3, not even for large values of 2?

[Lupin]

Thinking aloud I believe that you're right in a way. We're looking at more of a series here rather than discreet numbers.

They do say....... il y a jamais 2 sans 3......that's why we often get one experience, then the same or associated, but hang on a minute, watch for the third one (usually we don't register the good ones and just note the bad ones)...but there's always a no.3.

It's divinity....it's the Trinity, Trinity :)

Why does someone really make EVERY effort to get a result then once they get it they lose interest?

[bladeserver]

A very good question but easily answered if you trace their ancestry and find it liberally salted with fruit flies.

Should i destroy western civilization today or wait until tomorrow?

[Lupin]

Would you hang on until tomorrow Blade, I'll be better prepared and could even take a flight elsewhere at short notice......errr a bit further......East.

*reaches for her Betrand Russell as a memento and starts to right a list of items to pack*.

What if none of us are really "here" at all?

[Elfrun]

Then religion collapses and the matrix becomes the new digital bible.


Would I be considered a deity if that happened because my name is Trinity?

[bladeserver]

You would only be a diety Trinity if you had sufficient piety. My suggestions would be rhubarb and apple or gooseberry.

Well Ok can I just destroy a few small economies like Belguim and Denmark? Pretty please.

[Lupin]

Granted. Denmark is OK for destruction. They're doing alright with that new bridge to Sweden connecting them up for trade and tourism. But Belgium will perhaps forever be considered the 'armpit' of Europe and I'll always protect the underdog! Besides, the Belgians never really knew their identity til later 20th Century.....Walloons, French, Dutch, German.....all that trouble over the Estates....give them a break would you? A lot of them are so talented linguistically they've got to be protected as an endangered race. STEP AWAY FROM THE BELGIANS.

What's in a kiss?

[ssrprotege]

crystal methamphetamine.

Why do people do drugs?

[Lupin]

Because they've either already done drinks, sex and violence and drugs is next on the list or, in fact, drugs are the most easily accessible. Naturally, in any case, they chose the easiest "low hanging fruit" rather than reaching up higher on the "What can I do to understand myself better and get more out of my life for me" tree for the rarer buds of self-knowledge growing only on the tips of outer branches nearest the sky.

No, but seriously :), they do drugs because it's DANGEROUS and they need to feel scared to feel good....

Planet or the people....is one of the sides now re-considering its options?

[bladeserver]

This is quite scary. I just intercepted an advertisement addressed to the outer edges of the galaxy by a Mrs. Earth requesting applications for a two bedroom planet. So i think the answer is planet.

Do the Vogons really have bad poetry or is that a myth?

[Fridays Child]

It's a myth, but that's as good as a smile.

Would we survive in hyperspace?

[bladeserver]

No that's just a lot of media hype.

How can we forget the way we were?

[JessicaHavenLea]

By recalling the way we will be in the year 3012. But you knew that of course.

How will I get rich?

[Lupin]

Not by spending all your time on this Forum.......get a JOB!

Why haven't my samosas turned out looking like samosas at all?

[Fridays Child]

You made them obtuse. Use a cute angle next time.

Why didn't you send me any samosas?

[bladeserver]

Because I asked first. Ha!

How do you sail a large ocean going cruise ship?

[Fridays Child]

I don't. I have "people" to do that sort of thing for me. I'm just there for the buffet.

Are you the wind beneath my wings?

[Lupin]

Get someone qualified to do it.....only a suggestion :). They do still 'sail' cruisers even though there are no sails.....for the moment that is (watch this environmental engineering space and check out the internet for Beluga Skysail....it's a FANTASTIC feat).

Why does it take such a long time to move on?

[rwyatt365]

Because you haven't ingested an appropriate amount of Ex-Lax.

Is it cheaper to keep her?

[Fridays Child]

Not according to Peter Peter Pumpkineater. But he was notoriously lazy and wasted far too much time on forums so she ultimately kicked him out anyway.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

[Lupin]

Only if a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

Is this a dagger I see before me?.....(well I am in the UK after all :().

[rwyatt365]

NO!! And whatever you do, don't touch it!

Should I be afraid?

[Fridays Child]

Yes. Be afraid, be very afraid. I saw what you posted on the Killed a Thread page.

Where can I hide now?

[bladeserver]

That mask isn't disguise enough? Let me think. I know. There is a little compartment in every zamboni machine and if you tried very, very hard you could fit a small bed in it. I'll be in touch when the coast is clear.

What is the right way to be wrong?

[Fridays Child]

Approach it from the left.

Can I keep my feather pillow?

[Lupin]

No, I'm allergic so please remove it immediately.

Is consulting the pillow an adequate proxy for phoning a friend?

[Fridays Child]

Only if it can also drive a Zamboni.

Do lentils know how dull they are?

[Seppuku Savant]

They don't. The FBI wiped that part of their memory.

Where?

[Synamon]

Here, there and everywhere.

Is anyone home?

[zibber]

No, I just forgot to turn the lights off.

Who framed Roger Rabbit?!

[Udog]

I admit, I did. My character was played in by Bob Hoskins in the documentary, though.

What does CPU stand for?

[Beery Swine]

Critical Pressure Unhinged

Why does there have to be so many hardware revisions for video game consoles?

[Synamon]

Wouldn't you like to know. Ok, ok, they revise them to make them simpler.

Should I stay or should I go?

[rwyatt365]

By all means, GO!! The last time you just made a big stinky mess.

Where, oh where has my little lamb gone?

[Fridays Child]

I had it for Sunday lunch, with mint sauce, roasted potatoes, and peas. Delicious!

Would you pass the Spotted Dick, please?

[bladeserver]

Not unless you join me in a jam roly poly (evil leer).


Shall I tell her I not arf fancy her?

[Fridays Child]

Not arf!

And shall there be honey for tea?

[Synamon]

Yes, here I am sweetie, lemon in mine please.

Why do you two always make me hungry?

[Fridays Child]

It's our avatars. We like to catch people in a weakened state. Like Arkansas.

Why didn't I say "North Dakota"?

[Synamon]

Because you were trying not to reveal your location.

Why are there north and south states (example above) and not east and west ones?

[bladeserver]

Because the East Virginians were just too darn slow.

How many Canadians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

[Fridays Child]

Just one. But there's soooo little point, without electricity. Maybe next year, when they get roads.

Why am I now in protective custody?

[le Duc]

Because your location was revealed.

Why does summer have to be hot?

[Fridays Child]

It doesn't. Ask any Londoner. It does, however, have to be wet. That's the law.

What is the true value of value?

[le Duc]

It depends on what the meaning of is is.

What is law?

[Fridays Child]

Ask Jude.

What?

[Synamon]

Huh? Oh sorry, lost in a daydream about Jude Law. Sigh.

Who?

[Fridays Child]

The man who says, " Come in swan number 3, your 15 minutes are over."

Why does he haunt me so?

[Synamon]

Because he loves you.

Why does he love you?

[Fridays Child]

I haven't a clue... but I think I like it!

May I have another?

[Synamon]

No, you will ruin your appetite.

Is it lunch time yet?

[Fridays Child]

It is, somewhere. Pass the malt vinegar.

Can I interest you in some Plum Duff?

[le Duc]

Never.

Do you two tag team around to different threads on purpose to amuse yourselves? (And, I should add, various onlookers...)

[Synamon]

No, we are the same person. Don't tell anyone.

Do I amuse you?

[Fridays Child]

Yes, I do.

Or was I supposed to answer that as me?

[bladeserver]

Look whoever you are this is confusing me so please cease and desist.

Can I please have some tea?

[rewhu]

Yes, surely.

Which would you prefer: Ice T or Mr. T?

[Fridays Child]

Indeed you may. Since you ask so nicely.

Lapsang Suchong?

[le Duc]

I'll take Dian Hong, thank you.

Should I jump?

[Lupin]

No, don't do it......you'll only make a mess by exploding on impact. Bodies don't bounce and I loathe avoidable spillages ;).

If the end is nigh for working life as we know it, will it really be worth getting up in the morning?

[Fridays Child]

Only on Fridays.

I wonder how many will get that one?

[Lupin]

Never enough to satisfy the insatiable.

Why was it universally decided that chairs were better with four legs rather than three in the end?

[le Duc]

Three in the end would be most unstable.

But why not five (all around)?

[Fridays Child]

Because five is just plain greedy.

Did you call me insatiable?

[bladeserver]

No it was a misquote. She meant unstable.

How can I ever cope?

[Fridays Child]

Well, you need the right saw. Then it's a piece of cake. Mmmm, cake.

Do changlings ever settle down?

[bladeserver]

No. They are destined, forever, to roam the earth disconsolate and lost. On the plus side they get to travel a lot.

Is it so bad to have bodies buried in my basement?

[Udog]

Bad smell rises. Bury them in the attic.

In a similar vein, is it foolhardy to be headstrong?

[Fridays Child]

Yes. But with enough momentum you can outrun the consequences. Until you end up in an attic.

Is there a song in my heart?

[le Duc]

You are an INTJ. You have no heart.

Is there a tune in my head?

[Fridays Child]

Yes, his name is Tommy and the tapping is driving you mad. Mad, I say.

Is there life after death?

[le Duc]

We know there's death after life. That's certain.

!?

[bladeserver]

Yes and I am living proof.


I - I who have nothing.

Can you splice the mainbrace?

[le Duc]

Only after a storm or particularly difficult voyage.

What makes officers petty?

[Fridays Child]

Yes. And I can hoist the topsail. It just tends to collapse afterwards.

Isn't slow best?




Edit: well, that just proved that slow is best.

[le Duc]

No.

If happy little bluebirds fly above the rainbow why can't I?

[bladeserver]

Because, just maybe ,you aren't a happy little bluebird. Duh. Unless you ahve something to tell us all??

Does slow and thorough win the race?

[Fridays Child]

Yes. Yes. Oh, and yes.

Was it good for you?

[bladeserver]

It was just as I expected. A turkish delight to enslave the senses.

Which Liquorice allsort should be left to last?

[Fridays Child]

The jellies, on the grounds that they aren't liquorice. Plus, they're icky.

When did pandas become endangered?

[bladeserver]

When the police started to overuse them.

Should I go to the pub tonight?

[Fridays Child]

Indeed you must. My vicarious life is far from over. Mine's a pint, since you're asking.

Will there be crisps?

[bladeserver]

Yes there will be. The Heron is buzzing tonight as I look out of my large Victorian window that overlooks the pub gardens.

Should I play darts? I'm not that good but it is Darts night.

[Fridays Child]

Yes, you should. But take monte along to help you count backwards in doubles.

Why would anyone invent prawn cocktail flavoured anything?

[bladeserver]

Amazing what you think of when you are blind drunk.


Fly me to the moon?

[Fridays Child]

Sure, Alice. C'mere.

Will that be smoking or non-smoking?

[Seppuku Savant]

Smoking. I love me some cancer. har har

What is the creature in your avatar?

[le Duc]

Batman. They made a movie about him and stuff.

What is the square root of pie?

[Fridays Child]

Creature... creature... I don't quite follow...

Wait!

Did you mean ME?!?!?

[bladeserver]

Most pies don't have square roots but, perhaps, gooseberry pie would come closest.


gargle, gargle. Certainly didn't mean me. i'm too purty.

Is it is dark inside?

[Fridays Child]

Yes. All the best truffles are. mmmm....truffles

Would you like one?

[bladeserver]

No I insist on having them all and I don't care what I have to do to get them.

Is my lactose intolerance a problem?

[Lupin]

Actually, I could do with two.....you'd get your First Aider badge like the good Girl Guide that you are if you'd help me out.

Why do blondes always dye their roots brown?

Darn it Blade.....I may just have to call you "The Flashing Blade"......

*Lupin fondly remembers the Saturday morning, badly dubbed, swashbuckling adventure series featured either side of "Belle and Sebastien" and "Champion the Wonder Horse"....and imagines Blade on a horse in thigh length riding boots, tight riding pants and a billowing white shirt as the breeze catches it*.

*Lupin goes for a lie down in a darkened room....:)*

[le Duc]

We should all learn to be more tolerant and understanding.

Erg... really slow today, I guess.

I don't think the blondes thought about it first.

Why do I have to work late?

Erg... really slow today, I guess. Answered my own question.

Which is better: hot or humid?

[Lupin]

Better make it 'hot' after my keyboard fumblings ;).

One lump or two?

[bladeserver]

My horse always takes two lumps. Three if you have them.

*Rides around and swashes some buckles*

Is it wrong to be dashing?

[Fridays Child]

Only of hopes.

Can truth be contained?

[hypervel]

Not now. Too much of a burden.

What do you mean?

[Synamon]

No I am not mean, just nasty.

Why do INTPs hate me so?

[Fridays Child]

It's not hate... it's Pness envy.

Why don't we have Tetris here?

[Journey]

Because you spelled it wrong. but im not sure if wii has tetris. How many days will it take for an octopus to turn blue?

[Synamon]

3 days of holding it's breath will make an octopus turn blue.

(welcome to the forum Journey, great name)

Is Fridays Child's avatar an octopus?

[Fridays Child]

Swallowing a goat...yes. Well spotted.

Why would anyone choose mango when they could have chocolate?

[bladeserver]

Strangely enough that's the third time I have been asked that question today.

Do I look like an oracle?

[Lupin]

No, do I look like a moustached long-haired lover from Liverpool?

Is breaking up so very hard to do?

[Elfrun]

Not with a hammer it ain't :devilish:


What time should I go home?

[bladeserver]

When its time to make the doughnuts.

I was thinking of emigrating to Australia. Opinions?

[Lupin]

Only if I can come too!

Emigration red tapes makes Australia great for skills for which they have a shortage. Bizarrely hairdressers and nurses amongst other more high-flying specialists....nuclear physicists, medics etc, are well sort after.

Anything for the weekend, sir, or should I fetch a kidney bowl and IV kit?

[bladeserver]

I think just the IV kit. And I already have plenty of heparin. Starts to chant ..saline..antibiotic..saline..heparin and lulls himself to sleep.

Why am i so good with needles?

[Fridays Child]

You were Madame Defarge in your previous fictional existance.

Why doesn't that worry me at all?

[Lupin]

Is it the legacy from the unhealthy habit you acquired when you were a young and flashing Blade?

Is is actually worth investing in anything long-term if we're only here for a while?

*Lupin remarks to herself about the speed of response and makes a coffee to perk up a bit*

[bladeserver]

Yes always invest for a rainy day. Always look left and right. Don't take candy from strangers. Always trust a man who knows his way around a needle.

What is the dog/people ratio in the UK?

[Fridays Child]

I'm glad you asked. Down, Sir! I was reading this just the other day. I said DOWN, sir! It says here that on average, the ratio of dogs to people in the UK is... Bring back that paper, you little mongrel! ...now off by one.

Why are dogs so much better than cats?

[Lupin]

They don't jump up on tables bearing their bottoms to the surface and leaving bacterial deposits in the process...... Don't talk to me about cats. Just don't....

What makes a yacht and a dog so appealing as a vision of an early retirement?

[bladeserver]

Well in my case the dog could steer the yacht and I could tan and snooze.

Would a border collie be the best choice?

[Fridays Child]

Yes. Although ruff around the edges.

Why couldn't I stop that?