View Full Version : I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game
07-24-2011, 02:48 PM
Henry T. Polka, the famous Victorian harlequin.
What can we do to stop people from sticking their used chewing gum under desks, chairs, and other available surfaces?
07-24-2011, 04:43 PM
Smear grease under those surfaces. This way the gum won't stick.
How can I make a million dollars quickly?
07-24-2011, 06:16 PM
redeem all of your coupons for their face value
how do i achieve deification?
07-24-2011, 07:10 PM
Run for public office and talk about God a lot. Also, lowering taxes.
How can we lower the US debt?
07-24-2011, 07:15 PM
give our soldiers bouquets instead of rifles.
no one wants to harm us anyway.
what causes odor?
07-24-2011, 07:55 PM
The Norse god of odor, Noxious
How many words are thete in the english Language?
07-24-2011, 10:00 PM
One. And it's mine!
What is that One Word?
07-25-2011, 04:09 AM
thete- (n) a possession of dubious distinction. revered by few or none.
what ever happened to popeye?
07-25-2011, 04:31 AM
Opened up a chain of southern style fried chicken restaurants.
Where is Olive now?
07-25-2011, 05:41 AM
she was compressed into virgin oil
(sweet pea was adopted)
what is it about her eyes?
07-25-2011, 08:12 AM
She's been practicing her hypnotizing powers.
What mind powers do you have?
07-25-2011, 10:12 AM
Nuclear and hydroelectric.
Why should I use those twirly new lightbulbs?
07-25-2011, 10:18 AM
They protect you from whirlpools.
Have you ever stapled your finger?
07-25-2011, 10:21 AM
No, I usually keep my staples (milk, eggs, bread) in the refrigerator.
Do you think I have prepared sufficiently for my 1:00 meeting?
07-25-2011, 01:40 PM
The only appropriate way to prepare for a 1:00 meeting is to eat 2 dozen donuts and sleep till noon. I'm going to with yes.
You keep your bread in the fridge?
07-25-2011, 01:49 PM
Yes. I keep all my money in the fridge.
You keep your ear to the ground?
07-25-2011, 01:57 PM
I'm in a never ending game of cowboys and Indians.
You keep half of your face shadowed?
07-25-2011, 02:02 PM
Why do you have wings?
07-25-2011, 02:05 PM
All ninjas have wings.
Why are you staring at me?
07-25-2011, 02:10 PM
I'm not starring. I have a stiff neck and can't turn away.
Are you going to San Francisco?
07-25-2011, 02:15 PM
I think I've been asked this question before. No, I'm going to Copenhagen via Cape Town.
Are you going to San Francisco?
07-25-2011, 02:18 PM
No, I can't find any flowers for my hair.
Can you spare some flowers?
07-25-2011, 02:42 PM
I have a rafflesia garden out back. I don't think you want to put them in your hair though.
Have you ever been to a nudist colony in California?
07-25-2011, 03:08 PM
No one wants to see that
Do you know Tinkerbell?
07-25-2011, 04:52 PM
Yeah, she works at the local strip club.
How much do strippers make?
07-25-2011, 06:27 PM
A couple hundred cubic metres per fortnight.
What do I need to know about the game of cricket?
07-25-2011, 10:04 PM
The loudest cricket almost always have deadly antennaes.
How about a game of grass-hopping?
07-26-2011, 06:25 PM
You are now the proud owner of a board game called grass-hopping for $25. It provides hours of entertainment, because nobody understands the point of the game.
Does anyone play board games anymore?
07-27-2011, 12:24 AM
Like on a surfboard?
What is the first board game ever created?
07-27-2011, 12:28 AM
Monopoly; As long as there has been a human race there has been a desire to have it all.
Will anyone win the human race?
07-27-2011, 12:31 AM
Yes, the rats!
Does rats race in the rat race?
07-27-2011, 12:35 AM
No. Rats are not allowed in any race. They always stop for garbage and never manage to finish.
Do the Finnish, finish
07-27-2011, 12:43 AM
From what I hear, they finally finished but by then they were finished.
What does swiss roll and swiss watches have in common?
07-27-2011, 12:54 AM
They're both filled with cream.
What do french fries and George W. Bush have in common?
07-27-2011, 12:56 AM
Both are greasy. Sorry, I am out of practice.
Where have all the unicorns gone?
07-27-2011, 01:02 AM
The Unicorns all got together and went to a little island in the Carribean.
What is the name of the Unicorn's island
(they're both greasy is a great answer)
07-27-2011, 01:04 AM
Who created the Thousand Island?
07-27-2011, 02:20 AM
Where is the road less traveled?
07-27-2011, 06:40 PM
When is the rapture?
07-27-2011, 06:47 PM
It already happened. You are not one of the saved. Haha.
Who will be the President of the U.S. in 20 years?
07-27-2011, 06:55 PM
The U.S. will not exist in 20 years. Justin Bieber will be the supreme commander of the People's Republic of Chimerica.
Should I invest in a new hobby?
New hobbies are going down in value, so you may want to hold off on investing your money.
How many seashells does Sally sell at the seashore?
07-27-2011, 08:00 PM
Five before she is busted by the cops for running an unregistered business.
If I ran a lemonade stand, what could I do to boost sales?
07-27-2011, 08:05 PM
Spike the lemonade with whiskey.
Why do monkeys fling poop when they get mad?
07-27-2011, 11:21 PM
They learn it from us. ummm.... not me, though. :)
Why does forum brawls happen?
07-27-2011, 11:25 PM
Forum brawls don't really happen. It's just a ritualised way for similar individuals to bond. First it's arguing on the Internet, next come the real life meet ups where everyone carries a knife.
Why do people put animals made out wires, on their front lawn?
07-27-2011, 11:34 PM
Why, that's easy. To scare the crows.
Does it always work?
07-28-2011, 12:29 AM
Of course! Haven't you seen how fidgety the crows?
Are you (the next poster) a woman?
07-28-2011, 01:38 AM
Maybe after the operation.
Should I buy Gold?
07-28-2011, 02:38 AM
Absolutely. If you don't, who will?
What is more useful. food or gold?
07-28-2011, 03:02 AM
Gold, you can't eat food.
Which is better, yin or yang?
07-28-2011, 03:25 AM
Yin because it came first.
Why is it almost always never quoted as "yang and yin"?
07-28-2011, 03:38 AM
yang and yin™ is a chinese ice cream company with a team of lawyers just itching for an copyright infringement suit.
why am i always so stiff when i wake up?
07-28-2011, 03:40 AM
What is the shortest distance between two points?
07-28-2011, 03:50 AM
should they compromise?
07-28-2011, 06:10 AM
Yes! And they should cut everyone else's salaries before their own!
Why must I ask a question?
07-28-2011, 06:39 AM
I don't have to answer that and I won't!!
Why did i?
07-28-2011, 08:07 AM
The voices in your head told you to.
Why do the voices in my head tell me to do bad things?
07-28-2011, 08:28 AM
You don't use enough yam paste on your toast.
Why do bananas turn brown?
07-28-2011, 09:27 AM
Because you looked at them.
If a tree falls and there's nobody around to hear it, does it make a sound?
07-28-2011, 09:56 AM
It sounds like a cat in a blender.
Why do cats have hair?
07-28-2011, 10:48 AM
Have you ever seen one shaved. That clearly must be covered.
Why do cats have tails?
07-28-2011, 11:09 AM
To knock over fragile knick-knacks.
Why is Pluto no longer a planet?
07-28-2011, 11:11 AM
It was inevitable once a dog was named after it.
Why is Jupiter so big?
07-28-2011, 11:14 AM
Where can you buy 9XL lingerie?
07-28-2011, 11:16 AM
On Jupiter, If you have a thyroid problem.
Why does the sun set in the west?
07-28-2011, 05:36 PM
To recalibrate your compass.
How do Magic 8 balls work?
07-28-2011, 05:50 PM
sea monkeys on long, rotating shifts.
why are the seasons different on each side of the equator?
07-28-2011, 05:54 PM
So that brussels sprouts are always in season somewhere.
Where does the water go when I wash my face?
07-28-2011, 08:03 PM
Back into your bladder.
Is Obama an American?
07-28-2011, 11:17 PM
No, He's an African American
Was Obama born the U.S.?
07-29-2011, 12:57 AM
No. He was born in a hospital.
Is it true that he was butt handled before he made his first cry?
07-29-2011, 01:53 AM
No, but he was spanked.
Do you think it hurt?
07-29-2011, 03:43 AM
I don't think so. It took several spanks before he cried.
Do you think it was a loud cry?
07-29-2011, 08:31 AM
No it sounded a little like a goat.
Was he breast fed?
07-29-2011, 09:03 AM
Probably not. He's not Bill Clinton.
Did he wear cloth diapers or disposable diapers?
07-29-2011, 10:39 AM
They were paper. He was wrapped in the constitution.
Who should play him in the movie?
07-29-2011, 11:12 AM
Robert Downey Jr.
Who is the mastermind of the Tea Party?
07-29-2011, 11:39 AM
Why George W. Bush, of course!
Wait, did I mean Ron Paul?
07-29-2011, 12:40 PM
No his mother tried but his ears got in the way.
What's the deal with those ears?
07-29-2011, 03:48 PM
He is part elephant.
Where do libertarians come from?
The closet leading to Narnia.
How many fingers am I holding up?
07-29-2011, 07:00 PM
Why are there so few bakeries?
07-29-2011, 07:38 PM
Because nobody likes bread.
Vodka or rum?
07-29-2011, 08:25 PM
goats blood with a dash of whiskey.
Where does kettle corn come from?
07-29-2011, 08:48 PM
Leprechauns. The truth behind the "gold" at the end of the rainbow.
Who invented sushi?
07-30-2011, 12:26 AM
Sushi was actually invented by Versace. It was a failed attemt at naking eye glasses out of raw fish.
If there's popcorn at the end of the rainbow then where's the gold?
07-30-2011, 12:29 AM
It got eaten up by the cow.
Why do girls wear leggings as pants?
07-30-2011, 12:36 AM
Their pants are in the wash.
Why do girls wear clothes that leave their bra staps exposed?
07-30-2011, 06:56 AM
Because they've figured out that bare shoulders are a really big turn-off.
Where did these 2 small cuts come from?
07-30-2011, 09:46 AM
From the cut fairy. You must have been good, you got two.
Why does this laptop hate me so much?
07-30-2011, 09:49 AM
Because you're overprotective.
Why doesn't MTV play any music videos?
Because they have commercials for you to watch. Buy more. Think less. Make money. Spend.
Where's the best place to look if you lose your mind?
07-30-2011, 10:45 AM
A zombie's stomach.
Is a conversationalist pro-cannibalism or anti-cannibalism?
07-30-2011, 12:03 PM
I don't listen to conversationalists, but they eat me up.
If you're stranded on a desert island can you really make a phone out of coconuts?
07-30-2011, 12:15 PM
Yes. But only the cellular type. The hair on the coconuts transmits messages to the nearest satellite. That's a problem if it's not a satellite for sending phone messages, though.
How many strands are there on a desert island?
07-30-2011, 02:47 PM
Five. The mason's laid them out in a pentagram.
Do the Mason's really have a secret agenda?
07-30-2011, 02:53 PM
No, but they do have a killer secret sauce.
Where can I acquire a pentagram with which to adorn my entranceway?
07-30-2011, 02:55 PM
Pentagrams r us. Right between the Verizon store and the Ruby Tuesdays.
Why do malls exist and can we kill them?
07-30-2011, 02:58 PM
It's a survival of the fittest thing. You can kill one if you'd like, but three more will spring up in its place.
What would I find if I went to Jersey Shore?
07-30-2011, 03:14 PM
Why would anyone want to go down to the Jersey Shore?
07-30-2011, 03:23 PM
To hunt down Snooki.
Which is the best country in the world?
07-30-2011, 03:41 PM
Kazakhstan is the greatest country in the world. All other countries are run by little girls.To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Why are all other countries run by little girls?
Because its the American way or the highway.
Why do some people take their time when they aren't doing anything productive or enjoyable?
07-30-2011, 04:37 PM
Cause they're bodies function like a turn based rpg. They have to wait for the meter to fill up before they can make any legitimate actions.
Why does mommy beat daddy?
07-30-2011, 04:51 PM
Because someone painted a target on daddy.
Where have all ninjas gone?
07-30-2011, 05:03 PM
To the sweet rave party at the end of the rainbow.
Who's hosting the rave?
If imac, what do u?
07-30-2011, 05:37 PM
If you mac, I'll bring you a bucket and show you the way out.
How do they get away with claiming that the economic downturn is over?
What is utopia like?
07-30-2011, 05:49 PM
Everything is pretty much the same, except everyone always has an orgasm.
Why can't I see Russia from my house?
07-30-2011, 05:49 PM
Cause they use a Klingon cloaking device.
Why aren't there anymore dinosaurs?
Darwin killed them.
Why didn't Darwin survive?
07-30-2011, 05:53 PM
Because the finches on the Galapagos Islands thought he knew too much.
Why don't Christian Conservatives like Darwin?
Maybe they conserve what they like to a minimum.
Where is the love in logic?
07-30-2011, 06:01 PM
Cause they Darwin won all the dance off's and was the life of the party.
somewhere mixed in with if, then, and else.
Why is stem cell research so controversial?
07-30-2011, 06:06 PM
Because if we open the door to the stem cells then the stamen cells can't be far behind and that is a slippery slope.
Do kids today still learn pythogorean theorem?
No, they can't get past the squaring.
How did 8 turn sideways and become infinite?
07-30-2011, 06:13 PM
The Magic 8 ball did it.
If infinity minus 1 is still infinity then how much do you need to subtract before you get a result?
07-30-2011, 06:24 PM
You need to subtract Steve Jobs.
Who has an IQ higher than Steve Jobs?
07-30-2011, 06:37 PM
I do at 124.
How many drinks does it take to come up with a question?
07-30-2011, 06:41 PM
2.4, only if you eat a small kitten with it.
who framed roger rabbit?
07-30-2011, 06:45 PM
Davinchi of course.
How many of davinchi's paintings would it take to fill a museum?
07-30-2011, 06:51 PM
Why was Vegeta so angry about power level's over 9000?
07-30-2011, 06:55 PM
Cause he couldn't surpass 9000 until Goku.
Why do they have fifteen minutes of monolauge in anime's amidst battling?
07-30-2011, 07:14 PM
That's how long it takes to go to the bathroom and make popcorn.
Why does a sheep have wool?
07-30-2011, 07:26 PM
To knit a sweater for the winter.
Why do cats have claws?
07-30-2011, 07:28 PM
To polish furniture.
Why does the earth spin?
07-30-2011, 07:35 PM
To keep us from falling.
Why do people nag?
07-30-2011, 08:25 PM
Their "S" is in hyperdrive.
Why is the sky blue?
07-30-2011, 10:01 PM
Because it isn't an anime.
Who's Tohya Miho?
07-30-2011, 11:49 PM
She works at the 7-11 down the street.
Who is the most beautiful woman in the world?
07-31-2011, 06:45 AM
Why is the sun yellow?
To keep you mellow.
What is a cat's conscience like?
07-31-2011, 07:06 AM
Brooklyn or Queens?
07-31-2011, 09:01 AM
You can leave for a 2:00 appointment at 2:00 and be there at 2:00 according to my relatives.
Why are relatives so annoying?
07-31-2011, 09:23 AM
Because they appear on page 666.
Page 666 or Page 3?
07-31-2011, 11:11 AM
666 but I changed the order of the sixes; I'm sure you picked up on that.
Do I really have to visit my parents today?
07-31-2011, 12:30 PM
No. Everyone over forty is a senile old coot, so if you don't visit they won't remember.
Why do old people become senile?
07-31-2011, 12:40 PM
Because they have advanced from from the junile stage and deserve the status.
Can you get a teenage boy to talk instead of grunt?
07-31-2011, 12:50 PM
No. I couldn't speak from age 13 until I was 20.
Why do so many chicks on this forum have dudes for avatars and vice versa?
By switching to the opposite sex they think they may gain a tactical edge in acquiring people of the opposite sex.
What does the quote "Confusion is sex" mean?
07-31-2011, 01:02 PM
^^We are too embarrassed to get caught cross-dressing in public.
^ Nothing. If confusion were sex, I wouldn't have been out of the bedroom for 10 years.
How significant is it that so many forumites have dead people as their avatars?
07-31-2011, 01:42 PM
Dead people look better.
What is going to happen in 2012?
07-31-2011, 04:45 PM
Well, when I require clairvoyance I turn to Magic 8 Ball. You will be pleased to know "The reply is no".
P.S. also the story of my life.
How do those bladeless fans work?
07-31-2011, 04:47 PM
By sucking air in through a black hole from an entirely different planet.
07-31-2011, 04:58 PM
OK - this is the last time I ask Magic 8 Ball tonight. It says "It is most likely".
Is luck on my side?
07-31-2011, 05:11 PM
I think so, does it look like a coffee stain?
How many pages are in the Bible?
07-31-2011, 05:25 PM
Who wrote the Bible?
07-31-2011, 05:26 PM
Why did Lucy write the Bible?
07-31-2011, 05:43 PM
Lucy was tripping on some bad acid.
Where can I find acid?
07-31-2011, 05:47 PM
Who's Syd Barrett? ;)
07-31-2011, 05:55 PM
I'm pretty sure that he was some rapper.
Why do rappers use the n-word so much?
07-31-2011, 05:56 PM
Because "new" is synonymous with "fresh".
Do you speak a second language?
07-31-2011, 07:58 PM
Yes, but it consists entirely of 0s and 1s.
Why do people paint their fingernails?
08-01-2011, 03:20 AM
Because leftover paints should never be wasted.
Will anyone paint their house purple?
The Frozen One
08-01-2011, 03:36 AM
So Barney feels more comfortable when he moves in to the neighborhood.
What is the 1,000 pound gorilla in the room?
08-01-2011, 03:38 AM
My friend's Dad.
What's the gorilla doing in the room?
08-01-2011, 05:04 AM
Smoking a pipe and reading the New York Times.
When will the newspaper industry collapse?
The Frozen One
08-01-2011, 05:21 AM
When people start reading the news nore than watching it.
Why do we treat elections like they are sporting events?
08-01-2011, 07:35 AM
To figure out who the true American supporters are.
Why are Monday mornings always the worst?
Most people go back to a mode of slavery, which may have aspects counter to their morals and free will, but may seem necessary to survival.
Why can't you have your cake and eat it, if you are eating it, don't you by implication have it?
08-01-2011, 01:46 PM
Because it's a urinal cake and presumably you wouldn't want to eat it too.
Why do men tolerate the lack of privacy of urinals?
08-01-2011, 03:42 PM
Because whipping your junk out in front of other men is a form of male bonding.
Why do women pee sitting down?
They have less to aim with, therefore need a wider range for a target.
Why do people gossip at work?
08-01-2011, 04:40 PM
It's a ploy to get out of doing what they are actually supposed to be doing.
Why am I soooooooooo addicted to these game threads?
08-01-2011, 05:03 PM
They are coated with cocaine.
Why do people like cocaine so much?
08-01-2011, 05:16 PM
It comes from the cocoa plant and evryone loves chocolate.
Why did they remove cocaine from Coke?
08-01-2011, 06:02 PM
The seedy advertising executives cost slightly less than the Colombian drug lords.
How many varieties of Coke are there now?
08-01-2011, 06:09 PM
One, but there are thousands of different labels
How many days until the superbowl?
08-01-2011, 06:17 PM
What color are your eyes?
08-01-2011, 06:20 PM
There not really eyes. There leftover mood rings and the color depends on my mood
What are three things you absolutely have to do in the event of a meteor strike?
08-01-2011, 06:23 PM
1) Take off all my clothes
2) Go outside and stand out in the open
3) Take nothing of value, like tin foil, with me.
If you could be any animal other than human, which would you choose?
08-01-2011, 06:25 PM
^you little snake.
Call an impromptu party, eat chocolate, and drink good red wine.
I would be a panther that could fly.
Why are there meteors in the world?
08-01-2011, 06:34 PM
They came here to make out with the terrestrial rocks.
Why do things fall down, but not up?
08-01-2011, 06:36 PM
They've passed out after two many triple-secs.
Where is Noah's Ark?
08-01-2011, 06:39 PM
At Noah's yacht club.
Why do you suppose Noah saved the mosquitos from the flood?
08-01-2011, 06:50 PM
^ to kill off those whom the Masterminds disliked--with encephalitis.
Who invented paper?
08-01-2011, 07:13 PM
Abraham Gore. Al Gore's great great great great great great great great great great great great granddad.
Who invented Al Gore?
08-01-2011, 07:19 PM
Who invented Mr. Potatoe Head (Dan Quail)?
08-01-2011, 10:32 PM
^Who invented Mr. Potato Head? (An Irishman.)
Why do nuthatches traverse trees upside down?
08-02-2011, 02:54 AM
Chicks go wild when they do. ;)
Why do woodpeckers peck wood?
08-02-2011, 05:09 AM
Its a myth that they peck wood. Really they are just huge heavy metal fans and they are constantly head banging.
When will Metallica release a new album, and what will it be called?
08-02-2011, 07:02 AM
Metallica its self is an imaginary band that was created by corporate halfwits to scam money from metalheads.
When will the rich be overthrown?
08-02-2011, 09:00 AM
Inevitably in the future it's going to happen, just be patient.
How will the rich be overthrown?
08-02-2011, 09:05 AM
With bad math.
What's greater than negative zero?
08-02-2011, 10:25 AM
Introducing INTJf's newest member: "What". Heck of a guy, that What. Everybody's talking about him.
I'm thinking of getting a phobia. Any recommendations?
08-02-2011, 10:36 AM
Agorophobia. That way you can stay home and post things that make me laugh all day long.
What's the square root of bad math?
08-02-2011, 10:47 AM
Pi of course. or infinity. It's always one of those.
Why did I stop doing math in my head?
08-02-2011, 11:03 AM
Because it is cheaper to outsource the work to India.
Why do armpits smell bad?
08-02-2011, 12:01 PM
Cause you were cursed by Majora
Why'd a girl come in my house topless randomly last night?
08-02-2011, 12:25 PM
Why does Superman wear a cape?
08-02-2011, 12:35 PM
To carry his kryptonite.
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
08-02-2011, 03:15 PM
She married waldo and they had a bunch of kids who all kinda blend in.
Where have all the flowers gone?
08-02-2011, 04:14 PM
I picked them all to give to you in a bouquet, but they all went missing around valentines day...
Why are science jokes so hit and miss.
08-02-2011, 04:32 PM
Trial and error is a long standing scientific principle
Are the fruit flies actually in the fruit?
08-02-2011, 05:17 PM
No, the fruit is in the vegetables.
Where did I put my reading glasses?
08-02-2011, 05:37 PM
They're on top of your head.....again
Where's the best place to get Thai?
08-02-2011, 06:35 PM
The internet. They have everything there.
Is there anything that hasn't been made into porn?
What is vertigo?
08-02-2011, 06:42 PM
^^ My father.
How will I get the gum out of my cat, Gizmo's fur without hurting him?
^ an astrological sign.
08-02-2011, 07:12 PM
Is it wrong to proud of my .....
08-02-2011, 07:34 PM
Man boobs? That's a weird thing to be proud of but why not.
Why does eating too much make you fat? Won't you just poop all of that extra food out?
08-02-2011, 07:39 PM
Eating too much will make someone else fat and someone has been eating like a pig.
Is 100% body fat really a bad thing?
08-02-2011, 11:42 PM
Eating too much will make someone else fat and someone has been eating like a pig.
Is 100% body fat really a bad thing?
Because 100% lean body fat will envy you.
What is H20 made of?
08-02-2011, 11:55 PM
One horse with two orifices.
Why does meat make a person angry?
08-03-2011, 03:39 AM
Just for the fun of it.
Are two-heads really better than one...?
08-03-2011, 04:45 AM
No. Three heads tops them all.
Why are the two sides of a coin called heads and tails?
08-03-2011, 05:15 AM
Because calling the back of the coin the ass offended the Christian Right.
Is there life on other planets?
08-03-2011, 09:09 AM
[QUOTE=thebrainpolice;1903224]No. Fat floats in water, so if you become morbidly obese you will never drown.
No. There 's used to be, but they argued polotics all the time while poluting the enviroment and.......
Does every cloud have a silver lining?
08-03-2011, 11:45 AM
If you imagine it does, but I doubt it will help you from falling without a parachute.
If a skull had wings? What would it be called?
08-03-2011, 02:01 PM
That would be a great archeological find. That's the skull of Mercury.
What was that movie with John Cusak and Kate Beckinsale?
08-03-2011, 04:41 PM
Haha nice try To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. But since this is the wrong answer game I'm going to have to say transmogrify.
What's the best place to get cheap beer?
08-03-2011, 04:42 PM
What's the best meat to eat on Friday?
08-03-2011, 06:43 PM
Does anyone use graph paper anymore?
08-03-2011, 08:15 PM
Yes. Islanders in third world countries used them to wrap home-grown tobacco.
What did the big chimney say to the small chimney?
08-03-2011, 09:37 PM
You're too old to smoke.
What is yeast made of?
08-03-2011, 10:00 PM
Why, that's easy! Five letters, i.e. y - e - a - s and t.
Are orgies a Roman invention?
08-04-2011, 12:35 AM
No, God had sex with Adam then Eve which made Eve jealous and that is why she ate the damning piece of fruit.
Where did I put your toe nail clippers?
08-04-2011, 05:40 AM
I never lent you my toe nail clippers, that was my laser cheese knife.
Why do flies constantly have to touch EVERYTHING!
08-04-2011, 06:33 AM
They have OCD.
How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?
08-04-2011, 06:41 AM
All men are human but not all human are men.
Why isn't my phone responding?
08-04-2011, 06:42 AM
You ought to insert the batteries.
What are you looking at?
08-04-2011, 06:45 AM
It's in a coma.
Why do soccer fans riot so much?
Well I am on the internet so I'll let you fill in the blank. Now my question.
08-04-2011, 06:47 AM
To proof that they know something about soccer.
Why is David Beckham married to Victoria?
08-04-2011, 06:54 AM
Some soccer fans scream and does a lot of silly things when their team scored a goal.
Won't people get bored from listening to the same song for more than 20 times?
08-04-2011, 07:14 AM
Wait till they insist you listen to them sing the same song for more than twenty times.
Is the earth's interior hollow?
08-04-2011, 07:17 AM
Yes. That's where all the fairies, leprechauns, elves, and unicorns hide.
Why am I the only one who can see the fairies in my yard?
08-04-2011, 07:19 AM
Boy, when you're acting funny, you see funny stuffs. ;)
Do you worship Nixon?
08-04-2011, 07:26 AM
Yes. He was impeached to redeem humanity for it's sins.
What President would you start a cult around?
08-04-2011, 07:27 AM
;D The Peanut Cult. I love peanuts.
Which President did you love to hate?
08-04-2011, 07:33 AM
Grover Cleveland. That guy sucked.
08-04-2011, 10:58 AM
What really happened to Jimmy Hoffa?
08-04-2011, 11:21 AM
DB Cooper fell on him in that forest.
Why did LPs go out of style?
08-04-2011, 11:46 AM
Because 8 tracks are the wave of the future.
What is the maximum air speed velocity of a swallow?
08-04-2011, 01:45 PM
:freak: Brain ... exploding.... with .... swallow... innuendos. Can't ... focus on ...just one. :freak:
Good or bad?
08-04-2011, 02:43 PM
What is your favorite Pokemon?
08-04-2011, 02:47 PM
How many of them are there?
08-04-2011, 03:00 PM
Six-hundred and sixty-six, including Mephistochu.
Does Tarot have any predictive power?
08-04-2011, 03:12 PM
It depends on how good you are at counting how many jelly beans are in the jar.
Is there anything worse than slow internet?
08-04-2011, 05:56 PM
Access to the Internet at all.
Will pigeons outnumber sparrows in the next 10 years; if so, why?
08-04-2011, 06:04 PM
No. Both populations will be choked out by a plague of locusts who the elderly have unwittingly been feeding crusts of bread in local parks.
Why are locusts such a successful insect?
08-04-2011, 06:17 PM
Because they have an incredible center of gravity.
When will it be dinner time in Taiwan?
08-04-2011, 06:27 PM
When China says so.
What is a spork?
08-04-2011, 06:32 PM
It's one of those g-mod foods. This one is made from salmon fins spliced with pig snout. Hottest new trend amongst foodies.
What do you think of this eating raw food trend?
08-04-2011, 06:35 PM
It's awfully cruel to the cows. Put them out of their misery first.
What is organic food?
08-04-2011, 06:40 PM
Food made out of vital organs like kidney, liver and heart.
Is it worth the extra cost?
08-04-2011, 07:01 PM
Not if they are made from your vital organs.
What is a Spleen used for?
08-04-2011, 07:06 PM
Stir fried with lemongrass, chili peppers and onions to make Szechuan Spleen.
Why do I function the same without a gall bladder?
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