View Full Version : I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game
12-04-2010, 07:41 AM
Got married with Crabman.
Am I full?
Of organs, yes.
Why is alcohol legal?
12-04-2010, 07:57 AM
So everybody gets drunk and doesn't understand what happens around them.
What is the worst crime ever?
12-04-2010, 02:20 PM
A crime of indifference (but who cares?)
What will Bristol do now that DWTS is over?
Go on American Idol and attempt to sing through her nose like many of the others.
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12-05-2010, 05:48 PM
it's not my day to keep up with him.
what is an equilateral triangle?
12-06-2010, 06:53 AM
One that can believe three impossible things at the same time.
Why do cats purr?
Its the sound of their engine roaring as they are part mechanica/robotic.
What's the best ride at Wally World?
12-06-2010, 11:42 AM
The Bozo firetruck is OK but I've had pretty good luck with The Claw lately so I am banking grandma's quarters in that one.
Should I go for Sponge Bob or that purple fuzzy thing?
12-06-2010, 05:24 PM
Oh, the purple fuzzy thing!! *dances* 'Twill hold your dreams for you.
Should I have another shot of scotch?
12-07-2010, 11:26 AM
Is there some left for me?
Sure, I've got some Scotch Guard. Multiple shots to the right places may work as a nice alternative to an umbrella.
How come no one actually lives at the Home Depot?
Because of the low ceilings.
What is the 87th prime number?
12-07-2010, 12:21 PM
Meaning of life.
When will we have more snow?
12-07-2010, 12:36 PM
When there will be enough fuel to have the heating on.
What is so awesome with the sunshine?
12-09-2010, 05:07 AM
It managed to kill this thread for two days
Where did my cat go?
12-09-2010, 06:00 AM
Typical. You only just realized she's gone? No wonder she ran away to live with me. You'll be getting a subpoena if you don't sign the petivorce papers within this week.
What is the next evolutionary step for pens?
12-09-2010, 06:31 AM
A cross between a heel-toe shuffle and an arabesque.
Why can't I sleep?
You're stuck in a dream.
What's your favorite usage of your belly-button?
12-09-2010, 06:41 AM
Pencil sharpener's the most convenient.
Can I challenge myself to a drinking contest?
12-09-2010, 06:47 AM
Only on Sundays while sitting on pillows, after you've eaten ALL of your vegetables.
What's the name of that one song...?
12-09-2010, 07:11 AM
Good evening sir/madam. The Jeopardy engine has been slightly damaged due to insufficient maintenance. In order to obtain your answer, please rephrase your question in the form of a philosophical musing. Thank you for participating. Please try again.
Your very existence breathes new life into my veins!
You're the vilest creature to ever set foot on this planet!
Meh, I don't care about you.
Are you happy now?
12-09-2010, 07:12 AM
No I'm Seriously.
Who decided it would be a good idea to drag a tree into your house and put decorations on it once a year?
12-09-2010, 07:16 AM
PETA. They love animals but they fucking hate trees.
Who wins in a battle of science vs maths?
12-09-2010, 09:13 AM
Why are feelings so annoying?
12-09-2010, 09:17 AM
Why is it socially unacceptable to pick your nose in public?
It isn't if you have outstanding snot.
What time is love?
12-09-2010, 04:06 PM
Can dead people really rest in peace?
12-09-2010, 04:58 PM
Only if they are all chopped up.
Why is chopped beef called hamburg?
How come hollywood stars don't shoot?
12-09-2010, 09:47 PM
Hollywood stars also shoot for the stars. Why do you think there are so many actor suicides?
What's the best name for a one-legged cat?
Taste of peat
12-10-2010, 02:49 AM
Probably Bolt, because of Usain Bolt and his legendary one-legged 100 meters race.
Should I go to class today ?
12-10-2010, 07:24 AM
Seeing how much of it you lack, I wouldn't miss it if I were you.
If time travel were possible, where would it go on vacation?
Pliocene Europe to see if Julian May was accurate.
What does human taste like?
12-10-2010, 04:28 PM
tastes like chicken
how long do I cook it?
12-10-2010, 05:14 PM
I only have experience with babies. Generally two minutes in the microwave is fine for me.
Can solar ultraviolet radiation be harnessed as the next great superweapon?
12-12-2010, 09:25 AM
No, nothing can be as super of a weapon as the already harnessed keanu reeves BO.
How much marshmellow goo does Russell Stover use to make chocolate marshmellow santas?
12-12-2010, 11:52 AM
How do you make marshmallow goo?
Clear your throat.
What happens when a French gives an Eskimo kiss?
12-13-2010, 11:59 AM
Enbalming in the way that Herodotus described.
Why tuna is canned in flakes?
12-13-2010, 01:37 PM
Because flakes are the only ones that will put up with the process.
Why are veterinarians services so expensive?
12-13-2010, 09:08 PM
They want to find out how much you really love your pet
Will my boss get mad if I embed subliminal messages in the corporate website?
Only if it reaches his conscious awareness.
What ever happened to virtual reality?
12-14-2010, 12:15 PM
It got real.
Are you ready for some football?
Taste of peat
12-14-2010, 01:10 PM
Of course I am. I love playing football.
Would you like a cup of tea ?
12-14-2010, 01:44 PM
Never, tea sucks.
What would you hate to get for Christmas?
12-14-2010, 04:58 PM
old lady jewelry from my husband
What can I do with duct tape?
12-15-2010, 07:02 AM
Start a checking account.
What is WD40 not good for?
If one train was heading East at 40mph and another train was heading West on the same track at 34 mph and the East-bound train started 60 miles from an intersection and the West-bound train started 50 miles from the same intersection, what side of the car should the driver of the car stalled in the middle of the track on that intersection huddle against?
12-15-2010, 03:24 PM
Trick question. He should shoot himself first so that bastard god doesn't get the pleasure of killing him.
When is self-flagellation advisable?
12-15-2010, 04:20 PM
When you've got a whip and nothing else to do with it.
How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?
12-15-2010, 04:41 PM
One - to hell and back.
Why isn't there a thermostat outdoors?
12-15-2010, 08:57 PM
Because scientists know you want it.
How much carbon monoxide can someone inhale without dying?
Hmmm. . .one. . .two. . .three. . .<crash>
Put your right foot in, take your right foot out, put your right foot in and _______ all about. Fill in the blank.
Taste of peat
12-16-2010, 02:47 PM
When you just drank tea. Tea is a secret soporific, so you have to stimulate yourself when you drink some, then self-flagellation becoms advisable. Obvious.
Do you know a smart, clever and quiet gangsta-rapper ?
12-16-2010, 04:47 PM
How many INTJs does it take to change a lightbulb?
12-16-2010, 07:36 PM
What do I do if I don't have a question?
12-16-2010, 07:50 PM
Wait a few minutes... something will come to you
How can I be sure that I actually exist?
12-16-2010, 07:56 PM
Stub your toe.
Why do dogs do that?
12-16-2010, 08:38 PM
Who invented the wheel?
12-16-2010, 08:41 PM
Nobody did - they discovered it premade.
What is this feeling - does it have a name?
12-16-2010, 09:32 PM
Which one is hotter: Edward or Jacob?
12-17-2010, 11:18 AM
Edward. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Are you hoping for the world peace?
12-17-2010, 02:35 PM
What does the world need now?
WD-40 and duct tape.
Why the hell is there a ladder outside my window?
12-17-2010, 03:02 PM
Romeo got the wrong address
Can I go home now?
12-17-2010, 04:47 PM
Is bacon the true source of happiness?
Ask Kevin's wife.
Are we ourselves?
12-17-2010, 08:08 PM
I'm yourself. Don't know about you, though.
Is sleep really all that necessary?
12-17-2010, 08:10 PM
Not when you're awake.
Why is the grocery store ALWAYS crowded?
Famine is everywhere
Why is famine everywhere?
12-17-2010, 08:43 PM
Because it's a sign of the apocalypse! RUN!
Why don't trees run away from loggers?
Eye on Earth
12-17-2010, 09:03 PM
Why are baseballs white?
Why do rich whites whine about reverse racism?
12-17-2010, 10:10 PM
they want their piece of the pie
what are pie charts made of?
12-17-2010, 10:12 PM
Where is Atlantis?
When will the Niner's win the Super Bowl again?
12-18-2010, 07:42 AM
They never won it to begin with. San Fran just convinced everyone they did through Orwellian propaganda.
Why is the US's emergency number 9-1-1?
12-18-2010, 09:13 PM
It was George Washington's favorite number.
Who invented Santa?
12-18-2010, 09:30 PM
Toys who needed homes.
What would happen if there were no more black holes?
12-18-2010, 09:50 PM
The universe will have stopped sucking! Hahaha see what I did there?
Is it my turn to do the dishes?
12-18-2010, 10:06 PM
The local pig farmer did.
What is a weed?
12-18-2010, 10:27 PM
What the little boy did in his pants.
Why do eels bite?
12-19-2010, 01:15 AM
Cause they can't beat.
What will happen when the bee will use its sting?
12-19-2010, 05:02 AM
It buys another one.
How much water can a camel drink?
12-19-2010, 07:33 AM
Not much if it hasn't passed through the eye of a needle yet.
Why full moon keeps me awake?
12-19-2010, 03:22 PM
It's bright and you forgot to close your window.
What do turtles eat?
12-20-2010, 02:04 PM
What are people made of?
12-20-2010, 03:27 PM
When will the world end?
12-20-2010, 07:51 PM
It already has according to To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Didn't anyone tell you?!
Why does beer conduct electricity?
12-20-2010, 10:12 PM
It only feels that way. Everything you're currently experiencing is only a fever dream induced by the bolts of electricity surging through your veins and supercharging your neurons. I am the voice of the minister presiding and I'm here to tell you, just let go. Ease yourself into the blackness that awaits just beneath your subconscious, don't fear the reaper.
When will they learn?
12-20-2010, 11:32 PM
When the ESFPs teach them.
What would you name a private island?
12-21-2010, 03:58 AM
Private Island of course. That way, everyone knows not to go there. ;)
Why can't I think of anything clever or stupid to ask?
12-21-2010, 03:52 PM
Hey, you just did! I'll leave the decision on whether it's the former or the latter up to you.
Is it my turn yet?
If everyone is waiting, then you can assume that it is your turn.
Have you completed your turn yet?
12-22-2010, 03:34 PM
Still got 347 degrees left.
Why can't we flood the world with barbecue sauce?
12-22-2010, 04:20 PM
But we did. It's called the Yellow River.
Why do cell phone packages cost so much?
They are keeping copies of all your conversations, texts, emails, and web pages. Be careful.
How do you know when its over?
12-22-2010, 08:27 PM
when the fat lady sings
is Susan Boyle a sign of the Apocalypse?
12-22-2010, 09:09 PM
Not the apocalypse but an apocalypse. It's just a minor one that no one really cares about.
Can a butterfly make butter fly?
12-27-2010, 09:40 AM
No but it can kill this thread
How can I get a job as an airport screener?
12-27-2010, 09:44 AM
Lose all your respect for your fellowman. It also helps if you have a tendency to racial profile pretty much everyone. And when applying touch everyone you come in contact with inappropriately and bark at them in an intimidating manner when they object. You will be a shoe in.
How exactly can I take over a plane using a metal fingernail file?
12-27-2010, 02:11 PM
Tell everyone that unless they cooperate, you'll blow the spores of the gunk you scraped from under your nails into the air.
How can I convince homeland security to start stuffing the passengers through CT scanners at the airport checkpoints to expand my job opportunities?
12-28-2010, 06:55 PM
Fart in their general direction.
Why is English so hard to learn?
12-29-2010, 08:50 PM
You have to apply the right amount of spin to make it work right.
what does play dough do to you if you eat it?
It raises your blood pressure.
How many years do you age and/or mature when you have a baby?
12-30-2010, 03:07 PM
rabbits are the most intelligent species on the planet.
where's the remote?
12-30-2010, 07:29 PM
Second door to the right.
What is hail?
Weather on the rocks.
What do you know?
Taste of peat
01-01-2011, 05:58 PM
Nothing. I don't even know that I know nothing.
Would you like to eat fish and chips with a living fish in your plate ?
01-01-2011, 06:02 PM
No. That would be disrespectful.
Why are goldfish gold and if they are gold why don't they sink?
01-01-2011, 06:07 PM
Respectively: They know their tax shelters and are upper middle class.
Where did the person who invented Jell-O get the initial idea?
01-01-2011, 06:09 PM
Mud wrestling show.
Why do we have hair under our arms?
01-01-2011, 06:17 PM
To differentiate between permissible and statutory.
Why do people who insist of being a part of a celebration watch network news to do so?
01-01-2011, 06:24 PM
They are Introverts with dreams of Extroversion. It's a sickness.
Does the hair on a man's head grow as fast as the hair on my legs?
01-01-2011, 07:11 PM
Technically what you have is fur. Apples and oranges.
Why do women live longer than men?
Read the instructions carefully.
Any idea why this plane is sinking?
01-01-2011, 09:25 PM
Because the hellspawn warriors on the immaterial plane have stolen the Necrosis Shield.
What's the best kind of cookie?
01-01-2011, 10:17 PM
Girl Scout tagalongs. Peanut butter is best when it's dry, and the price can't be beat.
Who wrote the greatest American novel?
01-02-2011, 12:51 PM
Why is football called soccer and soccer called football?
To confuse multi-lingual children.
When can we expect Lethal Weapon V?
01-05-2011, 02:31 PM
Right before Halloween 82.
Why do birds follow me around?
01-05-2011, 02:41 PM
^has a slight resemblance to Tippi Hedren
How many blackbirds do I need for a pie?
None. . .it's pumpkin.
If a tree falls on my head in the forest, what time is it?
Time to get a new head.
What is happiness?
01-05-2011, 08:45 PM
Something the dog licks.
What does no mean?
01-05-2011, 08:46 PM
ask your other parent.
What are books for?
01-05-2011, 08:53 PM
Where is Dave?
01-05-2011, 08:55 PM
Laying next to his lovers dead body.
Why is it so cold?
01-05-2011, 08:57 PM
Red killed Dave.
Why did Red kill Dave?
01-05-2011, 08:59 PM
It was an accident... i thought it was a water gun.
Why wasn't it a water gun!?! :cry:
01-05-2011, 09:03 PM
Because you didn't want it to be...
Why didn't you(she)?
01-06-2011, 07:16 AM
Because you(he) already left with the money.
How many punches can a pillow take before it starts crying?
42. . .which is exactly what Douglas Adams meant.
Why did I dream of moving myself and my kids in with Chris Leben and Trent Reznor?
01-06-2011, 08:07 AM
Your software's not quite right, come and let me do a hard reset for you.
Why did you have to place your reset button in your colon?
01-06-2011, 08:32 AM
I bet that it has something to do with feeling more refreshed everytime you take a dump.
Why did the US go to war in Iraq?
Because the US's reset button is in its colon.
Why are colons funny?
01-06-2011, 02:37 PM
Because they're full of crap.
Why did Americans develop accents different from their English brethren?
Because of taxation without representation.
Why is my wife of 14 years still the most attractive woman on the planet?
01-06-2011, 08:28 PM
Because there are only two people on planet Vulcan
why do i always look at the clock at 10:37?
Because you are a victim of fate.
Why the hell does a high percentage of INTJ's on this forum not recognize Scotty. . .the ultimate representative of INTJism trying to exist by wearing society-acceptable masks? (Checkov. . .really Zimmer. . .Checkov?)
01-08-2011, 07:35 PM
Because Scottie always gave 110%. No one likes an over achiever.
What would happen if we created a reflective bubble around the sun that reflected all the sun's energy back onto itself?
01-08-2011, 07:56 PM
Enviornmentalists would find some way of pinning it on the oil companies.
What is the source of true happiness?
01-08-2011, 08:00 PM
A bottle in one hand and a revolver in the other. It's a perception of choice kinda like thing you know.
What would God say if science found him/her?
01-08-2011, 10:42 PM
What is the best IRC chat client?
01-08-2011, 10:51 PM
Vulcanchat of course! I believe that Spock started it. Not sure if Scottie wsa privy to it though.
Why can birds fly?
01-08-2011, 11:07 PM
Because cows fart methane.
This methane makes the air more buoyant, birds then absorb the methane-air into their hollow-bones and "float" up, not so much as "fly".
01-08-2011, 11:10 PM
ah I see! That makes perfect sense!
But what is the question?
01-09-2011, 05:27 AM
The question is-Why do you need to know the question????
01-09-2011, 10:04 AM
But what is ^'s question?
When are books going to go out of style?
01-09-2011, 10:06 AM
Never because they make excellent weapons to whack people with.
Why does the moon appear red at times?
01-09-2011, 10:08 AM
It goes through monthly cycles.
What would happen if the fishing dreamworks boy sat on the pointy part of the crescent moon?
01-09-2011, 10:11 AM
We'd need to coin a new sexuality term to describe humans having sex with celestial objects.
Why do rainbows appear sometimes when your sprinklers are on?
01-09-2011, 10:14 AM
Because of the little pots of gold charged on your water bill.
Why do dogs sniff each other's rear end?
01-09-2011, 05:12 PM
They get bored sniffing their own.
Why don't bats sleep right side up?
They are weary of catching a cold as their blood might rush back down. Also, they lack social skills, and tact.
Now what is a country boner again?
01-09-2011, 07:13 PM
a tall fir tree
Why do birds eat worms?
01-10-2011, 12:34 AM
Because girl birds are unsatisfied with boy bird penises.
Why is Rafiki so frakking awesome?
01-10-2011, 09:09 PM
Because Rafiki is not quite freaking or fucking awesome yet.
Why aren't sharpie markers really sharp?
01-10-2011, 10:49 PM
You'd shoot your eye out.
Why do people put clothing on their dogs?
01-11-2011, 12:59 AM
The fleas were starting to complain about being cold all the time.
When will humans grow wings?
01-11-2011, 12:42 PM
When the fat lady sings.
What is the best way to get rid of a curry stain?
01-11-2011, 12:53 PM
Does meditation improve health?
01-11-2011, 09:58 PM
No, it will only prolong your life while you revel in all your unhealthy ways.
Why do people bleed when they get cut?
01-11-2011, 10:03 PM
Would you rather they farted?
Why don't people fart when they get cut?
01-11-2011, 10:06 PM
Beacause they must bleed their life force out as punishment for not paying attention.
Why can't anyone catch a big foot?
01-11-2011, 10:08 PM
Where are the UFOs hiding?
01-11-2011, 10:11 PM
Out in BFE.
Why are Cheezits so addicting?
01-11-2011, 10:15 PM
Why are Cheezits orange?
01-11-2011, 10:23 PM
The orange stuff is the output harvested from the methane-absorbing birds.
Why do I have a hearing loss?
01-11-2011, 10:24 PM
You forgot where you put it.
Why am I so tired?
01-11-2011, 10:27 PM
You bought the road hazard warranty.
Why does my neck hurt from slouching in my chair for so long?
01-11-2011, 10:28 PM
What is in a zit?
01-11-2011, 10:42 PM
Where does chicken pox come from?
01-11-2011, 10:44 PM
What makes psychedelic mushrooms psychedelic?
01-11-2011, 10:50 PM
There's nothing psychedelic about the mushrooms. It's all an accomodation of your brain adjusting to the reality of the body eating something that was found under a cow pie as a protection mechanism to avoid neural circuit overload.
What is so cool about the center of a tootsi pop?
01-12-2011, 05:22 AM
They're made from synthetically-grown Fonz blood.
When will film die?
When all books are burned!
Where is there not advertising?
01-12-2011, 09:14 PM
The back of eyelids are the last place, but rumor has it a team of entrepreneurial surgeons are about to change that for good.
How does one practice being punctual?
01-13-2011, 02:22 PM
With a toothpick.
What is the ingredients of rice?
01-13-2011, 02:25 PM
tiny white pills
What are germs?
01-13-2011, 02:32 PM
What is the dumbest thing you can say?
01-13-2011, 02:36 PM
Why do dogs go in circles before they lay down?
01-13-2011, 02:42 PM
Looking for the cat.
Why do cats lick?
01-13-2011, 02:56 PM
They're trying to get the smell off so the dog won't find them
Why do dogs hate cats?
Because cats don't tolerate dogs aggressive disregard for personal space.
Why do dogs bark up the wrong tree?
01-13-2011, 07:39 PM
Because they can and they have noithing better to do than that
Why are clouds white?
01-14-2011, 12:20 PM
Because they are big, fluffy cottonballs.
How do erasers work?
01-14-2011, 02:43 PM
Little tongues come out and lick the surface clean.
Why does it snow?
By going back in time.
Why is blood red?
01-14-2011, 02:51 PM
It's not actually red; it's green. Science has discovered that we are all color blind.
Why are computer games so addictive?
01-14-2011, 03:01 PM
Visually absorbed crank emitted from your screen.
Why can't anyone just eat one Lays potato chip?
01-14-2011, 04:49 PM
Heroin is inserted to the chips, causing the addiction.
Why is there gravity?
01-14-2011, 05:07 PM
Gravity exists to piss you off.
Why do cats meow?
Same reason. . .to piss you off.
What is sick humor?
01-14-2011, 10:14 PM
It's when someone coughs while telling a joke, just to piss you off.
How is beef jerky made?
When someone has beef with someone else they jerk them around a bit.
How is big brother a part of everyone's family?
01-16-2011, 12:03 PM
Nanobots in the seamen during conception which diffrentiate into the eyes and ears to transmit the ongoings of families across the world to a centralized source.
how would nanobots get into seamen?
01-16-2011, 12:21 PM
They get in semen when someone drinks motor oil.
Why is motor oil nanobot-inducing?
01-16-2011, 04:27 PM
They're bff's for life.
Why do we dream?
To make reality better.
What is common sense?
01-17-2011, 02:44 PM
Where is 'over there'?
01-17-2011, 03:02 PM
It's on the other side of just around the corner.
What is reality?
What is comedy?
01-17-2011, 06:11 PM
a remedy for comma.
What lies ahead?
The truth behind.
What is confusion?
01-17-2011, 06:36 PM
Something that no one can comprehend.
Where is a good place to build a house?
01-17-2011, 07:41 PM
Do you eat mustard?
01-17-2011, 07:51 PM
No. Mustard is a government conspiracy designed to overthrow the poultry industry. Mayo = eggs. Follow the money.
Who gets to pick the pictures they put on money?
01-17-2011, 08:25 PM
No one, it's the person's dying request. First come, first serve actually. All the other presidents are waiting for their turn with the denominations they chose. Rutherford B. Hayes has dibs on the 13$ bill whenever the Federal Reserve starts to print that denomination I hear.
What will it take to get a 13$ bill in circulation?
01-17-2011, 08:34 PM
It was supposed to happen when Obama came to office but as it's included in the health care bill I don't see it happening anytime soon. No it can't.
Is the Devil real?
01-17-2011, 08:39 PM
Of course! Who else would make us all do it.
How asthetically pleasing would it be to have a groin vaulted bedroom?
01-18-2011, 01:59 AM
For you? Well I can't say for sure but what I've gathered from reports and dossiers and undercover scoops and blogs and watercooler chatter and voices in my head and invisible ink on bathroom stalls and secret messages recorded backwards on heavy metal music and Martian semaphore is that you enjoy being surrounded by penises so I think you'd be pretty pleased.
What is the duck of an opposite?
01-18-2011, 04:42 AM
What makes psychedelic mushrooms psychedelic?
Their chemical properties
I need the right question to give the wrong answer.
What is chaos theory?
01-18-2011, 03:15 PM
A straight forward delineation of how things get from point A to point B.
Why are some decisions more difficult than others?
01-18-2011, 03:57 PM
Banannas and peanut butter. Whats hard about that?
Why is winter cold?
01-18-2011, 07:11 PM
Picture Santa in a Speedo.
Who's in charge around here?
---------- Post added 01-18-2011 at 07:12 PM ----------
Banannas and peanut butter. Whats hard about that?
Spelling, I guess.
01-18-2011, 07:58 PM
Santa. In a Speedo.
Is that legal?
01-18-2011, 08:03 PM
Not according to Hoyle.
Is it possible to have 'both/and' instead of 'either/or'?
01-18-2011, 09:10 PM
Either both and/or neither are acceptable.
How many times does a cat die before it gets into heaven?
01-19-2011, 05:55 AM
What's the tallest tree?
01-19-2011, 07:13 AM
A paper goldmine, if it's ever found.
Must you be so green?
01-19-2011, 01:38 PM
I'm not green, I'm lavender.
Will it ever stop snowing?
01-19-2011, 06:35 PM
Second Tuesday of next week.
Where is that dog from Kansas at?
01-19-2011, 06:45 PM
Under the couch.
Why is it that what goes up must come down?
01-20-2011, 07:54 AM
Isaac Newton passed the bill into international law and it has been adhered to ever since.
Why don't crabs have red hair?
01-20-2011, 08:17 AM
Because that would be SO uncouth!
Where do snowmen go in the summer?
01-20-2011, 11:48 AM
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
What would life be like if people responded only with pictures to each other?
01-20-2011, 09:39 PM
In all likelihood, you'll see more penises than you ever wished to see in a lifetime.
How many do you wish to see?
Why do so many people prefer small talk?
01-21-2011, 01:25 PM
Lack of shoe size.
Why does mud stink?
Why is Cooper everywhere?
01-21-2011, 04:10 PM
Because he's a zombie and keeps dropping bits of himself all over the place.
Why are there so many twists and turns?
People like their drama, it keeps them emotionally engaged.
Why do people on ecstacy say they are rolling?
01-21-2011, 06:58 PM
They're trying to confuse you with false drug slang so you'll get your ass kicked when you try to buy some.
Is it possible to punch a hole through a brick wall?
01-21-2011, 07:17 PM
if superman can anybody can
what living organism can survive in space ?
01-21-2011, 07:58 PM
I believe that would be the elusive spacetronaut.
How many roads must a woman walk down?
01-21-2011, 08:04 PM
None, they can use the sidewalk.
Why are parking lots striped?
01-21-2011, 08:27 PM
Because spots would be too distracting.
Where does the wind go?
01-21-2011, 09:05 PM
The wind doesn't go anywhere, it's just Gone and doesn't give a damn.
Why can't people eat spoiled meat like scavengers can?
01-21-2011, 09:17 PM
People are spoiled.
Why don't any of my wishes come true?
01-21-2011, 09:24 PM
You're not trying hard enough. It's all up to you, you know.
Why do little men like big trucks?
01-21-2011, 09:51 PM
They're kindred spirits because they both know what it's like to be made fun of for their size.
How high can an acrobat jump?
01-21-2011, 10:07 PM
Unknown to most, acrobats cannot jump. They do well at concealing that fact because of stunt doubles who make those illusions. All acrobats can do is swing around on the trapeze and yell if their doubles mess up.
Why is everyone hurting their ankles tonight?
01-22-2011, 12:26 PM
Listen carefully. They're actually coordinating to make the bone-cracking noises into music. I overheard one of them saying Stomp performers are pussies and that bodily sounds are more authentic.
How high can an acrobat stunt double jump?
6 feet deep.
Why is a donkey called an ass?
01-22-2011, 07:27 PM
It was the first creature to evolve buttocks. All previous animals carried their shit around until they died.
Why do people wear shades indoors?
01-22-2011, 07:33 PM
They have aspirations of being either a bank robber or a unibomber. You will be able to tell how emboldened the person is when (s)he also begins to wear a hoodie and whether the hood is on or off. When you see the person with all three: Shades; Hoodie; and hoodie hood on, you know you have trouble and to get outside as soon as possible. Combine all three and add a slouch with hands in their hoodie pockets, you best find religion quick dude.
What do they put on the inside of paper cups to keep the beverage from leaking through?
Why don't people shave their eyebrows?
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