View Full Version : I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game
Artio
12-04-2010, 07:41 AM
Got married with Crabman.
Am I full?
Of organs, yes.
Why is alcohol legal?
irini
12-04-2010, 07:57 AM
So everybody gets drunk and doesn't understand what happens around them.
What is the worst crime ever?
datagirl
12-04-2010, 02:20 PM
A crime of indifference (but who cares?)
What will Bristol do now that DWTS is over?
Go on American Idol and attempt to sing through her nose like many of the others.
Where's Waldo?
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
reiven
12-05-2010, 05:48 PM
it's not my day to keep up with him.
what is an equilateral triangle?
WoodsWoman
12-06-2010, 06:53 AM
One that can believe three impossible things at the same time.
Why do cats purr?
Its the sound of their engine roaring as they are part mechanica/robotic.
What's the best ride at Wally World?
datagirl
12-06-2010, 11:42 AM
The Bozo firetruck is OK but I've had pretty good luck with The Claw lately so I am banking grandma's quarters in that one.
Should I go for Sponge Bob or that purple fuzzy thing?
WoodsWoman
12-06-2010, 05:24 PM
Oh, the purple fuzzy thing!! *dances* 'Twill hold your dreams for you.
Should I have another shot of scotch?
datagirl
12-07-2010, 11:26 AM
probably not
Is there some left for me?
Sure, I've got some Scotch Guard. Multiple shots to the right places may work as a nice alternative to an umbrella.
How come no one actually lives at the Home Depot?
Because of the low ceilings.
What is the 87th prime number?
Artio
12-07-2010, 12:21 PM
Meaning of life.
When will we have more snow?
irini
12-07-2010, 12:36 PM
When there will be enough fuel to have the heating on.
What is so awesome with the sunshine?
datagirl
12-09-2010, 05:07 AM
It managed to kill this thread for two days
Where did my cat go?
GenessorDios
12-09-2010, 06:00 AM
Typical. You only just realized she's gone? No wonder she ran away to live with me. You'll be getting a subpoena if you don't sign the petivorce papers within this week.
What is the next evolutionary step for pens?
fourtines
12-09-2010, 06:31 AM
A cross between a heel-toe shuffle and an arabesque.
Why can't I sleep?
You're stuck in a dream.
What's your favorite usage of your belly-button?
GenessorDios
12-09-2010, 06:41 AM
Pencil sharpener's the most convenient.
Can I challenge myself to a drinking contest?
fourtines
12-09-2010, 06:47 AM
Only on Sundays while sitting on pillows, after you've eaten ALL of your vegetables.
What's the name of that one song...?
GenessorDios
12-09-2010, 07:11 AM
Good evening sir/madam. The Jeopardy engine has been slightly damaged due to insufficient maintenance. In order to obtain your answer, please rephrase your question in the form of a philosophical musing. Thank you for participating. Please try again.
Your very existence breathes new life into my veins!
You're the vilest creature to ever set foot on this planet!
Meh, I don't care about you.
Are you happy now?
Seriously
12-09-2010, 07:12 AM
No I'm Seriously.
Who decided it would be a good idea to drag a tree into your house and put decorations on it once a year?
GenessorDios
12-09-2010, 07:16 AM
PETA. They love animals but they fucking hate trees.
Who wins in a battle of science vs maths?
WoodsWoman
12-09-2010, 09:13 AM
Grammar.
Why are feelings so annoying?
datagirl
12-09-2010, 09:17 AM
Bad parenting
Why is it socially unacceptable to pick your nose in public?
It isn't if you have outstanding snot.
What time is love?
GenessorDios
12-09-2010, 04:06 PM
Hate o'clock.
Can dead people really rest in peace?
WoodsWoman
12-09-2010, 04:58 PM
Only if they are all chopped up.
Why is chopped beef called hamburg?
It's German.
How come hollywood stars don't shoot?
GenessorDios
12-09-2010, 09:47 PM
Hollywood stars also shoot for the stars. Why do you think there are so many actor suicides?
What's the best name for a one-legged cat?
Taste of peat
12-10-2010, 02:49 AM
Probably Bolt, because of Usain Bolt and his legendary one-legged 100 meters race.
Should I go to class today ?
GenessorDios
12-10-2010, 07:24 AM
Seeing how much of it you lack, I wouldn't miss it if I were you.
If time travel were possible, where would it go on vacation?
Pliocene Europe to see if Julian May was accurate.
What does human taste like?
datagirl
12-10-2010, 04:28 PM
tastes like chicken
how long do I cook it?
GenessorDios
12-10-2010, 05:14 PM
I only have experience with babies. Generally two minutes in the microwave is fine for me.
Can solar ultraviolet radiation be harnessed as the next great superweapon?
jonnyb
12-12-2010, 09:25 AM
No, nothing can be as super of a weapon as the already harnessed keanu reeves BO.
How much marshmellow goo does Russell Stover use to make chocolate marshmellow santas?
datagirl
12-12-2010, 11:52 AM
Just enough
How do you make marshmallow goo?
Clear your throat.
What happens when a French gives an Eskimo kiss?
Artio
12-13-2010, 11:59 AM
Enbalming in the way that Herodotus described.
Why tuna is canned in flakes?
WoodsWoman
12-13-2010, 01:37 PM
Because flakes are the only ones that will put up with the process.
Why are veterinarians services so expensive?
datagirl
12-13-2010, 09:08 PM
They want to find out how much you really love your pet
Will my boss get mad if I embed subliminal messages in the corporate website?
Only if it reaches his conscious awareness.
What ever happened to virtual reality?
Cooper
12-14-2010, 12:15 PM
It got real.
Are you ready for some football?
Taste of peat
12-14-2010, 01:10 PM
Of course I am. I love playing football.
Would you like a cup of tea ?
NoGrayArea01
12-14-2010, 01:44 PM
Never, tea sucks.
What would you hate to get for Christmas?
datagirl
12-14-2010, 04:58 PM
old lady jewelry from my husband
What can I do with duct tape?
WoodsWoman
12-15-2010, 07:02 AM
Start a checking account.
What is WD40 not good for?
Dry throat.
If one train was heading East at 40mph and another train was heading West on the same track at 34 mph and the East-bound train started 60 miles from an intersection and the West-bound train started 50 miles from the same intersection, what side of the car should the driver of the car stalled in the middle of the track on that intersection huddle against?
GenessorDios
12-15-2010, 03:24 PM
Trick question. He should shoot himself first so that bastard god doesn't get the pleasure of killing him.
When is self-flagellation advisable?
Synchronicity
12-15-2010, 04:20 PM
When you've got a whip and nothing else to do with it.
How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?
WoodsWoman
12-15-2010, 04:41 PM
One - to hell and back.
Why isn't there a thermostat outdoors?
GenessorDios
12-15-2010, 08:57 PM
Because scientists know you want it.
How much carbon monoxide can someone inhale without dying?
Hmmm. . .one. . .two. . .three. . .<crash>
Put your right foot in, take your right foot out, put your right foot in and _______ all about. Fill in the blank.
Taste of peat
12-16-2010, 02:47 PM
When you just drank tea. Tea is a secret soporific, so you have to stimulate yourself when you drink some, then self-flagellation becoms advisable. Obvious.
Do you know a smart, clever and quiet gangsta-rapper ?
NoGrayArea01
12-16-2010, 04:47 PM
Doesn't everybody?
How many INTJs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Cooper
12-16-2010, 07:36 PM
None.
What do I do if I don't have a question?
datagirl
12-16-2010, 07:50 PM
Wait a few minutes... something will come to you
How can I be sure that I actually exist?
Cooper
12-16-2010, 07:56 PM
Stub your toe.
Why do dogs do that?
NoGrayArea01
12-16-2010, 08:38 PM
'Cause
Who invented the wheel?
nhillson
12-16-2010, 08:41 PM
Nobody did - they discovered it premade.
What is this feeling - does it have a name?
datagirl
12-16-2010, 09:32 PM
Gas
Which one is hotter: Edward or Jacob?
Artio
12-17-2010, 11:18 AM
Edward. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Are you hoping for the world peace?
datagirl
12-17-2010, 02:35 PM
with carrots
What does the world need now?
WD-40 and duct tape.
Why the hell is there a ladder outside my window?
datagirl
12-17-2010, 03:02 PM
Romeo got the wrong address
Can I go home now?
NoGrayArea01
12-17-2010, 04:47 PM
Tomorrow
Is bacon the true source of happiness?
Ask Kevin's wife.
Are we ourselves?
Synchronicity
12-17-2010, 08:08 PM
I'm yourself. Don't know about you, though.
Is sleep really all that necessary?
RedHead8808
12-17-2010, 08:10 PM
Not when you're awake.
Why is the grocery store ALWAYS crowded?
Famine is everywhere
Why is famine everywhere?
NoGrayArea01
12-17-2010, 08:43 PM
Because it's a sign of the apocalypse! RUN!
Why don't trees run away from loggers?
Eye on Earth
12-17-2010, 09:03 PM
Bats.
Why are baseballs white?
reverse racism
Why do rich whites whine about reverse racism?
datagirl
12-17-2010, 10:10 PM
they want their piece of the pie
what are pie charts made of?
NoGrayArea01
12-17-2010, 10:12 PM
BlueBerry
Where is Atlantis?
Pittsburgh
When will the Niner's win the Super Bowl again?
Synchronicity
12-18-2010, 07:42 AM
They never won it to begin with. San Fran just convinced everyone they did through Orwellian propaganda.
Why is the US's emergency number 9-1-1?
GenessorDios
12-18-2010, 09:13 PM
It was George Washington's favorite number.
Who invented Santa?
jonnyb
12-18-2010, 09:30 PM
Toys who needed homes.
What would happen if there were no more black holes?
GenessorDios
12-18-2010, 09:50 PM
The universe will have stopped sucking! Hahaha see what I did there?
Is it my turn to do the dishes?
Cooper
12-18-2010, 10:06 PM
The local pig farmer did.
What is a weed?
drake2
12-18-2010, 10:27 PM
What the little boy did in his pants.
Why do eels bite?
irini
12-19-2010, 01:15 AM
Cause they can't beat.
What will happen when the bee will use its sting?
GenessorDios
12-19-2010, 05:02 AM
It buys another one.
How much water can a camel drink?
Artio
12-19-2010, 07:33 AM
Not much if it hasn't passed through the eye of a needle yet.
Why full moon keeps me awake?
GenessorDios
12-19-2010, 03:22 PM
It's bright and you forgot to close your window.
What do turtles eat?
Distorted
12-20-2010, 02:04 PM
People.
What are people made of?
GenessorDios
12-20-2010, 03:27 PM
Turtle food.
When will the world end?
jonnyb
12-20-2010, 07:51 PM
It already has according to To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Didn't anyone tell you?!
Why does beer conduct electricity?
GenessorDios
12-20-2010, 10:12 PM
It only feels that way. Everything you're currently experiencing is only a fever dream induced by the bolts of electricity surging through your veins and supercharging your neurons. I am the voice of the minister presiding and I'm here to tell you, just let go. Ease yourself into the blackness that awaits just beneath your subconscious, don't fear the reaper.
When will they learn?
NoGrayArea01
12-20-2010, 11:32 PM
When the ESFPs teach them.
What would you name a private island?
lumin
12-21-2010, 03:58 AM
Private Island of course. That way, everyone knows not to go there. ;)
Why can't I think of anything clever or stupid to ask?
GenessorDios
12-21-2010, 03:52 PM
Hey, you just did! I'll leave the decision on whether it's the former or the latter up to you.
Is it my turn yet?
If everyone is waiting, then you can assume that it is your turn.
Have you completed your turn yet?
GenessorDios
12-22-2010, 03:34 PM
Still got 347 degrees left.
Why can't we flood the world with barbecue sauce?
GettingBetter
12-22-2010, 04:20 PM
But we did. It's called the Yellow River.
Why do cell phone packages cost so much?
They are keeping copies of all your conversations, texts, emails, and web pages. Be careful.
How do you know when its over?
datagirl
12-22-2010, 08:27 PM
when the fat lady sings
is Susan Boyle a sign of the Apocalypse?
GenessorDios
12-22-2010, 09:09 PM
Not the apocalypse but an apocalypse. It's just a minor one that no one really cares about.
Can a butterfly make butter fly?
datagirl
12-27-2010, 09:40 AM
No but it can kill this thread
How can I get a job as an airport screener?
Seriously
12-27-2010, 09:44 AM
Lose all your respect for your fellowman. It also helps if you have a tendency to racial profile pretty much everyone. And when applying touch everyone you come in contact with inappropriately and bark at them in an intimidating manner when they object. You will be a shoe in.
How exactly can I take over a plane using a metal fingernail file?
jonnyb
12-27-2010, 02:11 PM
Tell everyone that unless they cooperate, you'll blow the spores of the gunk you scraped from under your nails into the air.
How can I convince homeland security to start stuffing the passengers through CT scanners at the airport checkpoints to expand my job opportunities?
Cooper
12-28-2010, 06:55 PM
Fart in their general direction.
Why is English so hard to learn?
jonnyb
12-29-2010, 08:50 PM
You have to apply the right amount of spin to make it work right.
what does play dough do to you if you eat it?
It raises your blood pressure.
How many years do you age and/or mature when you have a baby?
EmmaKynikos
12-30-2010, 03:07 PM
rabbits are the most intelligent species on the planet.
where's the remote?
Cooper
12-30-2010, 07:29 PM
Second door to the right.
What is hail?
Weather on the rocks.
What do you know?
Taste of peat
01-01-2011, 05:58 PM
Nothing. I don't even know that I know nothing.
Would you like to eat fish and chips with a living fish in your plate ?
Seriously
01-01-2011, 06:02 PM
No. That would be disrespectful.
Why are goldfish gold and if they are gold why don't they sink?
jonnyb
01-01-2011, 06:07 PM
Respectively: They know their tax shelters and are upper middle class.
Where did the person who invented Jell-O get the initial idea?
Seriously
01-01-2011, 06:09 PM
Mud wrestling show.
Why do we have hair under our arms?
jonnyb
01-01-2011, 06:17 PM
To differentiate between permissible and statutory.
Why do people who insist of being a part of a celebration watch network news to do so?
Seriously
01-01-2011, 06:24 PM
They are Introverts with dreams of Extroversion. It's a sickness.
Does the hair on a man's head grow as fast as the hair on my legs?
phoboser
01-01-2011, 07:11 PM
Technically what you have is fur. Apples and oranges.
Why do women live longer than men?
Read the instructions carefully.
Any idea why this plane is sinking?
sixpoint8
01-01-2011, 09:25 PM
Because the hellspawn warriors on the immaterial plane have stolen the Necrosis Shield.
What's the best kind of cookie?
phoboser
01-01-2011, 10:17 PM
Girl Scout tagalongs. Peanut butter is best when it's dry, and the price can't be beat.
Who wrote the greatest American novel?
Cooper
01-02-2011, 12:51 PM
Peter Rabbitt.
Why is football called soccer and soccer called football?
To confuse multi-lingual children.
When can we expect Lethal Weapon V?
Cooper
01-05-2011, 02:31 PM
Right before Halloween 82.
Why do birds follow me around?
datagirl
01-05-2011, 02:41 PM
^has a slight resemblance to Tippi Hedren
How many blackbirds do I need for a pie?
None. . .it's pumpkin.
If a tree falls on my head in the forest, what time is it?
Time to get a new head.
What is happiness?
Cooper
01-05-2011, 08:45 PM
Something the dog licks.
What does no mean?
RedHead8808
01-05-2011, 08:46 PM
ask your other parent.
What are books for?
Cooper
01-05-2011, 08:53 PM
Door stops.
Where is Dave?
RedHead8808
01-05-2011, 08:55 PM
Laying next to his lovers dead body.
Why is it so cold?
Cooper
01-05-2011, 08:57 PM
Red killed Dave.
Why did Red kill Dave?
RedHead8808
01-05-2011, 08:59 PM
It was an accident... i thought it was a water gun.
Why wasn't it a water gun!?! :cry:
NoGrayArea01
01-05-2011, 09:03 PM
Because you didn't want it to be...
Why didn't you(she)?
GenessorDios
01-06-2011, 07:16 AM
Because you(he) already left with the money.
How many punches can a pillow take before it starts crying?
42. . .which is exactly what Douglas Adams meant.
Why did I dream of moving myself and my kids in with Chris Leben and Trent Reznor?
GenessorDios
01-06-2011, 08:07 AM
Your software's not quite right, come and let me do a hard reset for you.
....
Why did you have to place your reset button in your colon?
Dannie
01-06-2011, 08:32 AM
I bet that it has something to do with feeling more refreshed everytime you take a dump.
Why did the US go to war in Iraq?
Because the US's reset button is in its colon.
Why are colons funny?
Synchronicity
01-06-2011, 02:37 PM
Because they're full of crap.
Why did Americans develop accents different from their English brethren?
Because of taxation without representation.
Why is my wife of 14 years still the most attractive woman on the planet?
Tactician
01-06-2011, 08:28 PM
Because there are only two people on planet Vulcan
why do i always look at the clock at 10:37?
Because you are a victim of fate.
Why the hell does a high percentage of INTJ's on this forum not recognize Scotty. . .the ultimate representative of INTJism trying to exist by wearing society-acceptable masks? (Checkov. . .really Zimmer. . .Checkov?)
jonnyb
01-08-2011, 07:35 PM
Because Scottie always gave 110%. No one likes an over achiever.
What would happen if we created a reflective bubble around the sun that reflected all the sun's energy back onto itself?
NoGrayArea01
01-08-2011, 07:56 PM
Enviornmentalists would find some way of pinning it on the oil companies.
What is the source of true happiness?
jonnyb
01-08-2011, 08:00 PM
A bottle in one hand and a revolver in the other. It's a perception of choice kinda like thing you know.
What would God say if science found him/her?
sixpoint8
01-08-2011, 10:42 PM
LOL n00bs.
What is the best IRC chat client?
computerjen
01-08-2011, 10:51 PM
Vulcanchat of course! I believe that Spock started it. Not sure if Scottie wsa privy to it though.
Why can birds fly?
sixpoint8
01-08-2011, 11:07 PM
Because cows fart methane.
This methane makes the air more buoyant, birds then absorb the methane-air into their hollow-bones and "float" up, not so much as "fly".
computerjen
01-08-2011, 11:10 PM
ah I see! That makes perfect sense!
But what is the question?
CaptainAwesome
01-09-2011, 05:27 AM
The question is-Why do you need to know the question????
jonnyb
01-09-2011, 10:04 AM
But what is ^'s question?
When are books going to go out of style?
Amphorian
01-09-2011, 10:06 AM
Never because they make excellent weapons to whack people with.
Why does the moon appear red at times?
jonnyb
01-09-2011, 10:08 AM
It goes through monthly cycles.
What would happen if the fishing dreamworks boy sat on the pointy part of the crescent moon?
Amphorian
01-09-2011, 10:11 AM
We'd need to coin a new sexuality term to describe humans having sex with celestial objects.
Why do rainbows appear sometimes when your sprinklers are on?
jonnyb
01-09-2011, 10:14 AM
Because of the little pots of gold charged on your water bill.
Why do dogs sniff each other's rear end?
John01
01-09-2011, 05:12 PM
They get bored sniffing their own.
Why don't bats sleep right side up?
They are weary of catching a cold as their blood might rush back down. Also, they lack social skills, and tact.
Now what is a country boner again?
John01
01-09-2011, 07:13 PM
a tall fir tree
Why do birds eat worms?
GeminiDKH
01-10-2011, 12:34 AM
Because girl birds are unsatisfied with boy bird penises.
Why is Rafiki so frakking awesome?
jonnyb
01-10-2011, 09:09 PM
Because Rafiki is not quite freaking or fucking awesome yet.
Why aren't sharpie markers really sharp?
Cooper
01-10-2011, 10:49 PM
You'd shoot your eye out.
Why do people put clothing on their dogs?
GenessorDios
01-11-2011, 12:59 AM
The fleas were starting to complain about being cold all the time.
When will humans grow wings?
Minerva
01-11-2011, 12:42 PM
When the fat lady sings.
What is the best way to get rid of a curry stain?
GeminiDKH
01-11-2011, 12:53 PM
Mustard.
Does meditation improve health?
jonnyb
01-11-2011, 09:58 PM
No, it will only prolong your life while you revel in all your unhealthy ways.
Why do people bleed when they get cut?
Cooper
01-11-2011, 10:03 PM
Would you rather they farted?
Why don't people fart when they get cut?
jonnyb
01-11-2011, 10:06 PM
Beacause they must bleed their life force out as punishment for not paying attention.
Why can't anyone catch a big foot?
Cooper
01-11-2011, 10:08 PM
UFOs.
Where are the UFOs hiding?
jonnyb
01-11-2011, 10:11 PM
Out in BFE.
Why are Cheezits so addicting?
Cooper
01-11-2011, 10:15 PM
Cheesy drugs.
Why are Cheezits orange?
sixpoint8
01-11-2011, 10:23 PM
The orange stuff is the output harvested from the methane-absorbing birds.
Why do I have a hearing loss?
nhillson
01-11-2011, 10:24 PM
You forgot where you put it.
Why am I so tired?
jonnyb
01-11-2011, 10:27 PM
You bought the road hazard warranty.
Why does my neck hurt from slouching in my chair for so long?
Cooper
01-11-2011, 10:28 PM
Chad.
What is in a zit?
jonnyb
01-11-2011, 10:42 PM
brain cells.
Where does chicken pox come from?
lumin
01-11-2011, 10:44 PM
Poland.
What makes psychedelic mushrooms psychedelic?
jonnyb
01-11-2011, 10:50 PM
There's nothing psychedelic about the mushrooms. It's all an accomodation of your brain adjusting to the reality of the body eating something that was found under a cow pie as a protection mechanism to avoid neural circuit overload.
What is so cool about the center of a tootsi pop?
GenessorDios
01-12-2011, 05:22 AM
They're made from synthetically-grown Fonz blood.
When will film die?
When all books are burned!
Where is there not advertising?
GenessorDios
01-12-2011, 09:14 PM
The back of eyelids are the last place, but rumor has it a team of entrepreneurial surgeons are about to change that for good.
How does one practice being punctual?
Cooper
01-13-2011, 02:22 PM
With a toothpick.
What is the ingredients of rice?
MortalWombat
01-13-2011, 02:25 PM
tiny white pills
What are germs?
Cooper
01-13-2011, 02:32 PM
Noobs.
What is the dumbest thing you can say?
MortalWombat
01-13-2011, 02:36 PM
Nothing
Why do dogs go in circles before they lay down?
Cooper
01-13-2011, 02:42 PM
Looking for the cat.
Why do cats lick?
MortalWombat
01-13-2011, 02:56 PM
They're trying to get the smell off so the dog won't find them
Why do dogs hate cats?
Because cats don't tolerate dogs aggressive disregard for personal space.
Why do dogs bark up the wrong tree?
pawn23
01-13-2011, 07:39 PM
Because they can and they have noithing better to do than that
Why are clouds white?
jonnyb
01-14-2011, 12:20 PM
Because they are big, fluffy cottonballs.
How do erasers work?
GettingBetter
01-14-2011, 02:43 PM
Little tongues come out and lick the surface clean.
Why does it snow?
By going back in time.
Why is blood red?
GettingBetter
01-14-2011, 02:51 PM
It's not actually red; it's green. Science has discovered that we are all color blind.
Why are computer games so addictive?
jonnyb
01-14-2011, 03:01 PM
Visually absorbed crank emitted from your screen.
Why can't anyone just eat one Lays potato chip?
MortalWombat
01-14-2011, 04:49 PM
Heroin is inserted to the chips, causing the addiction.
Why is there gravity?
lumin
01-14-2011, 05:07 PM
Gravity exists to piss you off.
Why do cats meow?
Same reason. . .to piss you off.
What is sick humor?
sixpoint8
01-14-2011, 10:14 PM
It's when someone coughs while telling a joke, just to piss you off.
How is beef jerky made?
When someone has beef with someone else they jerk them around a bit.
How is big brother a part of everyone's family?
jonnyb
01-16-2011, 12:03 PM
Nanobots in the seamen during conception which diffrentiate into the eyes and ears to transmit the ongoings of families across the world to a centralized source.
how would nanobots get into seamen?
CaptainAwesome
01-16-2011, 12:21 PM
They get in semen when someone drinks motor oil.
Why is motor oil nanobot-inducing?
MortalWombat
01-16-2011, 04:27 PM
They're bff's for life.
Why do we dream?
To make reality better.
What is common sense?
Cooper
01-17-2011, 02:44 PM
Pennies.
Where is 'over there'?
GettingBetter
01-17-2011, 03:02 PM
It's on the other side of just around the corner.
What is reality?
Pyramid schemes.
What is comedy?
newday
01-17-2011, 06:11 PM
a remedy for comma.
What lies ahead?
The truth behind.
What is confusion?
jonnyb
01-17-2011, 06:36 PM
Something that no one can comprehend.
Where is a good place to build a house?
Cooper
01-17-2011, 07:41 PM
Hot dogs.
Do you eat mustard?
Seriously
01-17-2011, 07:51 PM
No. Mustard is a government conspiracy designed to overthrow the poultry industry. Mayo = eggs. Follow the money.
Who gets to pick the pictures they put on money?
jonnyb
01-17-2011, 08:25 PM
No one, it's the person's dying request. First come, first serve actually. All the other presidents are waiting for their turn with the denominations they chose. Rutherford B. Hayes has dibs on the 13$ bill whenever the Federal Reserve starts to print that denomination I hear.
What will it take to get a 13$ bill in circulation?
Seriously
01-17-2011, 08:34 PM
It was supposed to happen when Obama came to office but as it's included in the health care bill I don't see it happening anytime soon. No it can't.
Is the Devil real?
jonnyb
01-17-2011, 08:39 PM
Of course! Who else would make us all do it.
How asthetically pleasing would it be to have a groin vaulted bedroom?
GenessorDios
01-18-2011, 01:59 AM
For you? Well I can't say for sure but what I've gathered from reports and dossiers and undercover scoops and blogs and watercooler chatter and voices in my head and invisible ink on bathroom stalls and secret messages recorded backwards on heavy metal music and Martian semaphore is that you enjoy being surrounded by penises so I think you'd be pretty pleased.
What is the duck of an opposite?
Marcus Septim
01-18-2011, 04:42 AM
Poland.
What makes psychedelic mushrooms psychedelic?
Their chemical properties
I need the right question to give the wrong answer.
What is chaos theory?
WoodsWoman
01-18-2011, 03:15 PM
A straight forward delineation of how things get from point A to point B.
Why are some decisions more difficult than others?
Cooper
01-18-2011, 03:57 PM
Banannas and peanut butter. Whats hard about that?
Why is winter cold?
envirodude
01-18-2011, 07:11 PM
Picture Santa in a Speedo.
Who's in charge around here?
---------- Post added 01-18-2011 at 07:12 PM ----------
Banannas and peanut butter. Whats hard about that?
Spelling, I guess.
datagirl
01-18-2011, 07:58 PM
Santa. In a Speedo.
Is that legal?
WoodsWoman
01-18-2011, 08:03 PM
Not according to Hoyle.
Is it possible to have 'both/and' instead of 'either/or'?
GenessorDios
01-18-2011, 09:10 PM
Either both and/or neither are acceptable.
How many times does a cat die before it gets into heaven?
MortalWombat
01-19-2011, 05:55 AM
6.66 times.
What's the tallest tree?
GenessorDios
01-19-2011, 07:13 AM
A paper goldmine, if it's ever found.
Must you be so green?
WoodsWoman
01-19-2011, 01:38 PM
I'm not green, I'm lavender.
Will it ever stop snowing?
Cooper
01-19-2011, 06:35 PM
Second Tuesday of next week.
Where is that dog from Kansas at?
WoodsWoman
01-19-2011, 06:45 PM
Under the couch.
Why is it that what goes up must come down?
GenessorDios
01-20-2011, 07:54 AM
Isaac Newton passed the bill into international law and it has been adhered to ever since.
Why don't crabs have red hair?
WoodsWoman
01-20-2011, 08:17 AM
Because that would be SO uncouth!
Where do snowmen go in the summer?
jonnyb
01-20-2011, 11:48 AM
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
What would life be like if people responded only with pictures to each other?
GenessorDios
01-20-2011, 09:39 PM
In all likelihood, you'll see more penises than you ever wished to see in a lifetime.
How many do you wish to see?
Infinity
Why do so many people prefer small talk?
Cooper
01-21-2011, 01:25 PM
Lack of shoe size.
Why does mud stink?
Goose poop.
Why is Cooper everywhere?
WoodsWoman
01-21-2011, 04:10 PM
Because he's a zombie and keeps dropping bits of himself all over the place.
Why are there so many twists and turns?
People like their drama, it keeps them emotionally engaged.
Why do people on ecstacy say they are rolling?
GenessorDios
01-21-2011, 06:58 PM
They're trying to confuse you with false drug slang so you'll get your ass kicked when you try to buy some.
Is it possible to punch a hole through a brick wall?
swizzluvin
01-21-2011, 07:17 PM
if superman can anybody can
what living organism can survive in space ?
GenessorDios
01-21-2011, 07:58 PM
I believe that would be the elusive spacetronaut.
How many roads must a woman walk down?
jonnyb
01-21-2011, 08:04 PM
None, they can use the sidewalk.
Why are parking lots striped?
WoodsWoman
01-21-2011, 08:27 PM
Because spots would be too distracting.
Where does the wind go?
jonnyb
01-21-2011, 09:05 PM
The wind doesn't go anywhere, it's just Gone and doesn't give a damn.
Why can't people eat spoiled meat like scavengers can?
GenessorDios
01-21-2011, 09:17 PM
People are spoiled.
Why don't any of my wishes come true?
jonnyb
01-21-2011, 09:24 PM
You're not trying hard enough. It's all up to you, you know.
Why do little men like big trucks?
GenessorDios
01-21-2011, 09:51 PM
They're kindred spirits because they both know what it's like to be made fun of for their size.
How high can an acrobat jump?
jonnyb
01-21-2011, 10:07 PM
Unknown to most, acrobats cannot jump. They do well at concealing that fact because of stunt doubles who make those illusions. All acrobats can do is swing around on the trapeze and yell if their doubles mess up.
Why is everyone hurting their ankles tonight?
GenessorDios
01-22-2011, 12:26 PM
Listen carefully. They're actually coordinating to make the bone-cracking noises into music. I overheard one of them saying Stomp performers are pussies and that bodily sounds are more authentic.
How high can an acrobat stunt double jump?
6 feet deep.
Why is a donkey called an ass?
GenessorDios
01-22-2011, 07:27 PM
It was the first creature to evolve buttocks. All previous animals carried their shit around until they died.
Why do people wear shades indoors?
jonnyb
01-22-2011, 07:33 PM
They have aspirations of being either a bank robber or a unibomber. You will be able to tell how emboldened the person is when (s)he also begins to wear a hoodie and whether the hood is on or off. When you see the person with all three: Shades; Hoodie; and hoodie hood on, you know you have trouble and to get outside as soon as possible. Combine all three and add a slouch with hands in their hoodie pockets, you best find religion quick dude.
What do they put on the inside of paper cups to keep the beverage from leaking through?
A condom.
Why don't people shave their eyebrows?
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