I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game

[MortalWombat]

Waffles and other things at waffle house, right? ;D

What's the best kind of waffle?

[reiven]

the one where he says i didn't change my mind, but the situation changed, so i felt obligated to make a different decision. there is complete harmony in my position

what is the best way to starve a politician?

[Cooper]

Make him a plumber.

Where is everyone?

[WoodsWoman]

Hiding under the bed.

Why is there so much dust under here?

[datagirl]

Global warming

Why do I have to make up my bed everyday?

[aok]

To be accepted in the American way.


Why does gay mean happy?

[Synchronicity]

Because gay people are *FABULOUS* :flirt:

Why does hair turn gray in later years?

[WoodsWoman]

Because it's too afraid to do it earlier.

Why is it so difficult to think of any sort of question on command?

[Taste of peat]

Because you have to change your brain CPU.

Why can't I go to bed, whereas I know I should ?

[Synchronicity]

You're already sleeping. Posting in this thread was just a dream.

How does air conditioning work?

[WoodsWoman]

By coercion.

Why do leaves change color in the fall?

[Synchronicity]

The leaves, sick and tired of being green all the time, decide to enjoy a bit of individuality before they die.

How is vodka made?

[reiven]

water is placed in an oak stump and filled with oats. stir one revolution per day for 23 days, then filter (silk under charcoal is best). store in one liter plastic bottles for about forty five minutes and then add to orange juice. instant margarita.

what is snot?

[WoodsWoman]

Mummified marmalade.

Why do cars need to have the oil changed?

[reiven]

because after about 50 miles, the glucose in the oil is depleted and no longer feeding the engine. if you don`t change your oil at least every 70 miles, the engine will lose energy and die.

where is the metro?

[silvercrystal07]

on Mars.

why do textbooks cost so much?

[aok]

Because they know you'll have a miserable time reading them, so you might as well suffer a little more by paying so much for them.


How did women end up coming from Venus?

[Synchronicity]

They heard it was really hot and thought it would be a great place to get a tan, before they realized the clouds of sulfuric acid made that rather difficult and tried Earth instead.

Why does pain hurt?

[Cooper]

The government set it up that way.

Why do teeth rot?

[WoodsWoman]

Programming errors.

Why do animals shed?

[reiven]

they tend to be under serious stress.

what are the newspapers gonna do?

[aok]

Get people excited about being afraid of statistical anomalies.


Why is rudeness considered by some to be such an issue?

[Seriously]

They haven't received their new intergalactic Ms. Manners book yet. Rude is the new polite. Deal with it.

Where can I get my own flying monkey?

[datagirl]

Petco

Is it true that there's no place like home?

[jonnyb]

Only when it concerns home bowl advantage.

Where can I find the poison huckleberries?

[GenessorDios]

I think Rush had a song about that; maybe you can look there for clues.

What's more important than breakfast?

[jonnyb]

omelette sex toys.

Where did everyone go?

[aok]

They went to go give right answers because they're excited.


How many pages would a life sentence fill up?

[Synchronicity]

One: "He's dead, Jim".

Where does static electricity come from?

[GenessorDios]

You know the old saying, Electricity doesn't die, it just gets lazy.

Who turned out the lights?

[Synchronicity]

The guy with a shotgun and a migraine.

How do you treat a snake bite?

[jonnyb]

Roll it in sugar, flour and eggs then bake at 375 degrees.

Why do eyes hurt from staying awake too long?

[MassHysteria]

Due to overexposure to all of the beauty and awesomeness in the world.

What exactly is the appeal of Top 40 pop music?

[Taste of peat]

A hardteck mix of Bob Marley...

What is the default colour of the paper ?

[aok]

Bark.


What ever happened to "Reading Rainbow"?

[GenessorDios]

Its eyesight went bad and since it couldn't wear glasses on account of its intangibility, it's been cooped up at home ever since, crying.

How far can a snail crawl before needing to take a breather?

[reiven]

the longest snail migration ever recorded was Hemstiffle Cortice, who left his home in baton rouge louisiana and trekked all the way to dalton georga on one coat of slime.

what is better than sex?

[GenessorDios]

What isn't better? Ugh, it's so gross.

How green can green get before turning black?

[reiven]

there was a double blind study done in the 70's that showed green saturation of up to 88% was still discernible as green. lighting begins to affect the resolution in the 90% saturation range; and the upper 90's are pretty much black.

how well do two peas in a pod get along?

[GenessorDios]

That depends on if they're straight or podosexual.

Whose life story is the most amazingest of all?

[reiven]

dan rather.

will fabric softner and TLC make my plastic fern turn into a real fern?

[GenessorDios]

No, but if you choose a less defunct band it might.

How safe are spaceships?

[Seriously]

Safer than spacecars.



Why do ears grow when you get old?

[reiven]

i think it's caused by a creosote deficiency.

when will space travel become a standard tourist destination?

[Taste of peat]

In two years.

How do you fix a flat tire ?

[Seriously]

You take it to the vet and have it done. But don't expect them to like it.


Why do they put wire in a bra?

[Taste of peat]

Because the more wire there is, the more confortable bra is.

Why do people avoid ravines ?

[GenessorDios]

They're never sure if they should call it a ravine or a crevasse so they stay away rather than offend.

Who discovered how to bake bread?

[reiven]

rosie odonnell


who concoted the torture known as The View?

[Taste of peat]

My little sister, with 2 paperclips and a 99$ camera.

How could you define a cell phone, exactly ?

[reiven]

it can't be done, captain. if we increase the power any further, our hull won't take the pressure.
"for gods sake jim, listen to him"

what were those little fuzzy critters from star trek called?

[GenessorDios]

Easy. It's a device for people who don't have friends. Well, for you anyway.

How does one alchemize gold?

[Taste of peat]

He pees on a little stone to make it yellow and stinky.

Do you need a keyboard to send your posts ?

[reiven]

under intense pressure, gold has been known to transmute into sandstone. there is little in the scientific press about this, because once people know it can be done, the price of sandstone will plummet.

how is plastic made?

[GenessorDios]

It involves a giant with a unique digestive system; you don't wanna know....

Can I get a cookie?

[reiven]

sure, they're in the very back of my van.
close the door behind you, please.


where do missing robots end up?

[GenessorDios]

Where do you think iPhones come from? Apple's recycling policy is very aggressive.

What's more dangerous than insanity?

[Seriously]

Outsanity. It's just all over the place.


How do robots procreate?

[reiven]

asexually.


what is seriously wrong with you?

[Seriously]

Everything of course.



Where is your precious?

[GenessorDios]

How did you know he called it that? :suspicious: And why on earth would you want to see it?

What's the sort of thing serial killers do on their day off?

[MassHysteria]

Practicing new recipes, redecorating the basement, puttering around in the garden... just like the rest of us.

What is the cure for the common cold?

[Synapse]

Should I risk watching your mangled car/body festoon the guard rail?

Am I always watching you (even when I'm not here)?

Miss me? Not going to stay for long tonight...

[GenessorDios]

Don't post again. Ever. You have the perfect post count. Well, if you do want to post, just do another 20,000 and stop.

Which therapist is Pluto seeing for depression?

[reiven]

mars is actually a clinically trained therapist, but he clearly has anger issues of his own. pluto has been seeing donald's nephew dewey for a few months. there is progress, but it is slow.


what is the current international exchange rate for nectarines?

[aok]

orange


Why are antioxidants important to a species that needs oxygen?

[GenessorDios]

Oxygen is a fickle bitch. Sometimes she is happy and grants you life. Sometimes she has the wrath of a raging demon and wishes you to burn in hellfire for all eternity. All in all, it works out for humans rather well.

What's more questiony than a question?

[MortalWombat]

A quizzical observation, do you think?

Who invented the back scratcher?

[GenessorDios]

It was an accidental invention. The inventor was trying to invent a back stabber but used too dull of a blade, then decided to submit it for patenting anyway. And the rest, as they say, is apocrypha.

What is the inverse of a leopard?

[Taste of peat]

You are, sir.

Is William Peel a fine brand ?

[Haildancer]

It's not so great for cattle, but can result in some pretty decent his-and-hers tattoos.

What the hell is "baby oil" for, anyway?

[MortalWombat]

Cooking, it lends the delicious taste of baby, without the mess.

Why is cloud 9 more special than cloud 8?

[reiven]

because of the relaxed expectations for attire.

what is the best use of poly vinyl chloride?

[Haildancer]

Sanitizing pop-up pools.

Why do they run when I chase them? If they didn't run, I wouldn't chase.

[Cooper]

Exercise

Why dog dogs chase cats?

[jonnyb]

For the same reason that beer chases the blues away.

What is a good price for a Winchester model 12, 16 gauge shotgun?

[Cooper]

Two bits.

Why do dogs bite?

[MassHysteria]

People obviously just plain taste good.

What is the name of my soulmate?

[GenessorDios]

Hold on....it's coming to me....I can see it now. Ben! It's Ben, I'm sure of it. Your soulmate's name is....Wait a minute, there's another one coming! It's....it's....Jerry! Two soulmates? Wow, you must be really lucky. I sense that they will never disappoint you and will always be there to cheer you up.

What good is a broken record?

[Synchronicity]

It's handy, if you really really like the part of the song its playing.

How did science fiction first emerge?

[Haildancer]

Greek mythos. Particularly Zeus. Now that's a god with a seriously screwed up idea of family.

Why do indoor cats shed?

[IotaNull]

Because they've decided that the colour of their fur is more appealing than that of your carpet and eventually hope to replace the carpet as such.

How much wood would a woodchucker chuck if a woodchucker could chuck wood?

(It's even a pain to type...)

[Taste of peat]

3kgs and 324g.

How is a skyscraper constituted ?

[Sazeriel]

From the top to bottom.

What's the difference between pie and cobbler?

[Taste of peat]

Apples. They are green for pies and red for cobblers.

Is metal music sweeter than jazz ?

[aok]

Only according to the taste of lead.


If the term hippies was derived from a style born in the 60's, then what's hip about a hippie in 2010?

[Synchronicity]

Their new hip joints.

Why do sci-fi ships always use lasers instead of bullets and missiles?

[jonnyb]

Geneva Convention rules.

Why is it that I can't get away from work on time on the days that I really need to.

[datagirl]

The warden revoked your weekend pass

Why is my office always so cold in the summertime?

[Taste of peat]

Because summer is colder than winter.

Why do I have to listen music, while brushing my teeth, to be in a good shape ?

[GouldFan]

To have a good excuse for swallowing the toothpaste (secretly fond of the taste? ;D). I was paying attention to the music!

How can something bad be a good thing at times?

[Leesh]

Because rotten milk tastes horrible.
Do you swallow listerine or spit it out?

[Sazeriel]

It's not only good for your teeth but for your insides!

Why don't dogs and cats get along?

[datagirl]

Cats are jealous because dogs are always sucking up to their owners and owners totally buy into their manipulation. Also, dogs get better treats.

Why does my husband wear black socks with his tennis shoes?

[newday]

He found a new racket.

Why do cats purr?

[datagirl]

Hairballs get stuck in their tummies

How do mice get into my house?

[newday]

Ninja moves.

What is greater than being great?

[aok]

Being delusional.

What does "keeping it real" mean?

[GenessorDios]

If you have to ask, your realness has not been kept nearly well enough. Maybe you should consider a safe.

Why can't I get a walking phone that only responds to my voice?

[datagirl]

Current models only respond to Klingon commands

How do they compress air into those little spray cans?

[reiven]

it's done by germination. they fill the can half full of air pellets, add water and shake.

why do people pick their noses?

[WoodsWoman]

Because they don't like the one they were born with.

Why is good conversation so hard to find?

[reiven]

the smoot / hauly tariff imposed a levy on all transactions concerning ceramic pots. this stood until the carter administration expanded the tax to include conversation. boring conversation was taxed at 2.65%, while good conversation was levied at 72.44%. you always get less of whatever behavior you tax.


why do they change currency so often?

[WoodsWoman]

The avoidance of boredom is the fountain of youth.

Why does engine oil have to be changed so often?

[reiven]

no one really does that. it's just a scam concocted by gas stations back in the fifties.

what makes british humor different?

[WoodsWoman]

All the u's - humor versus humour and all that rot.

Why when I've had people around all day do I feel lonely now?

[aok]

You've built up a high tolerance.


How do you deal with the unpredictability of people?

[WoodsWoman]

By attacking them with cookie cutters.

Why do we need to eat?

[jonnyb]

To reinforce our omnipotent supremecy in the cosmos. If you piss us off, we will eat you.

Why is it so easy to spend money on stuff you really don't need?

[WoodsWoman]

Because it's so important to keep the economy going.

Why do I want ANOTHER cup of coffee??

[GenessorDios]

I think because the one you currently have refuses to leave the cup.

Did Popeye eventually survive his bout with cancer?

[MassHysteria]

With the finest medical team Quahog has to offer, of course!

How did that chicken develop his gum addiction?

[GenessorDios]

All that time he was wondering whether or not to cross the road, there was a huge billboard across from him advertising gum. He was powerless to resist.

How do bears perform courtship?

[reiven]

it is very similar to the peacock ritual, except they sacrifice a small woodland creature at consummation.

what is the height of stupidity?

[GenessorDios]

5' 4", give or take 19".

Who cares who won American Idol?

[MortalWombat]

You do, secretly.

Are male ladybugs cross dressers?

[Cooper]

Only the ones wearing teddys

Why don't pigs fly?

[datagirl]

They are on the terrorist watchlist

Does this tutu make me look fat?

[WoodsWoman]

Of course it does, that's what they are designed to do.

What was the world like before ice cream?

[GenessorDios]

Before humans developed refrigeration technology, there was only water cream. Needless, to say, it wasn't very popular, except with hippos.

Why are there so many ways to prepare eggs?

[aok]

Because its an unformed life.


Why do people watch the news?

[Cooper]

To be accurately informed.

Why do dog farts stick?

[Leesh]

Because they aren't a very 'noble gas'.
Do dolphins eat sea gulls resting on the sea?

[GenessorDios]

Only the rich ones do. The middle-class dolphins can only look on in envy.

Who decides what music to use in films?

[Leesh]

The Keebler Elves.
Why does more threads in a sheet make them cooler?

[GenessorDios]

They gang up and tell the heat molecules to fuck off down the street.

What did people do for entertainment during medieval times?

[aok]

Played WOW and put Harry down the Potter while Ringing Lords out the yore swaying to and thus from whence comes a cuss down the cusp of a barking trees husk thrust from an unkempt bust, dirty at dusk.

What do people do for entertainment in the future?

[GenessorDios]

There is no entertainment in the future, only two buttons surgically attached to everyone's head that releases serotonin and dopamine.

Can a monkey be trained to be an assassin?

[Sazeriel]

Of course, bananas in the eye are deadly.

How do yo-yos work?

[GenessorDios]

Their acrophobia ensures they'll always come back to your hand.

When will the last cow die?

[reiven]

it makes sense for them to stick around until gingham comes back into fashion.

why do people live under bridges?

[MortalWombat]

to save on the cost for AC.

How is Santa Claus relevant to Christmas?

[GenessorDios]

He's the patron saint of B&E professionals. Security companies sponsor commercials of him during Christmas time to boost sales. Parents tell their kids he's the one to blame for the quality & quantity of presents. Truly, he brings joy to us all.

What's the newest fad with tween girls?

[aok]

texting capable jewelry


Why do people still read the facebook?

[maddhatter]

because that's the only place that they can stuff their face on it

What to do if you have nothing to do?

[GenessorDios]

Uhh, duh? Ask others what to do if they have nothing to do.

What do Olympic athletes do after they retire?

[reiven]

become child actors in wacky family sitcoms


what do they do with the liposuction goo?

[GenessorDios]

Play-doh has many skeletons in its closet.

Why does Nicolas Cage still have a job?

[WoodsWoman]

reiven - What do you think they make vitamins from?

N.C. works making those vitamins.

Where do bees go in the winter?

[aok]

They go back to being the singular version of the second letter in the alphabet.


Why is 6 afraid of 7?

[GenessorDios]

Because 9 8 7 and now it's a zombie.

What makes pigs cry?

[Synchronicity]

When McDonalds adds another sausage/bacon sandwich to their breakfast menu.

What is the Earth's most dangerous animal?

[MortalWombat]

The Politician.

What do babies think about?

[reiven]

air. they can feel it blowing on their face, but what is pushing it is yet to be determined.

dr pepper has several flavors mixed together. what are the most important?

[MortalWombat]

Pepper, of course. With a pinch of salt, and about three buckets of sugar.

Why do people lie?

[reiven]

vitamin k imbalance.


what is the deepest part of the earth?

[WoodsWoman]

Heart space.

How to politicians come into being?

[GenessorDios]

Santa's affected by coal shortages too. How else can he teach naughty kids a lesson?

Am you are garmmer Naiz?

[reiven]

ooohhh yes. i obsess.


what does this mean?
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[GenessorDios]

I think it's the singular of those.

Your thoughts?

[Synchronicity]

Yes.

How is metal made?

[WoodsWoman]

Unrequited love.

Why do leaves turn so many different colors in autumn?

[reiven]

it's a vitamin k deficiency.

why does warm feel good?

[WoodsWoman]

Because cats have kittens rather than puppies.


Why is the price of caring so high?

[GenessorDios]

You didn't apply for the services of those grizzlies.

Where do people learn to be cruel?

[Synchronicity]

From the North Atlantic Institute for the Malevolent Arts (NAIMA)

What degree should I get if I want to be a dictator?

[aok]

Economics


What makes wind?

[Taste of peat]

Bill Gates' flatulences.

What is barbed wire useful for ?

[reiven]

safety restraints for toddlers. after a few tumbles, the theory is the child will learn through stitches to be more careful at a younger age.

why is one ocean blue and another green?

[IotaNull]

Because the green dye company is even worse at cleaning up than BP.

What does MBTI stand for?

[reiven]

More Basic Transactional Information


what does POTUS stand for?

[GenessorDios]

Oh that's easy! It's President of the....oh no! No you don't, you asshole! Getting cavity searched by the FBI four times is more than enough, you're not going to trick me into getting another one!

Who invented the shower?

[aok]

Toilet flushers


What's the point of it all?

[WoodsWoman]

Chocolate fudge and good scotch.

Why do you want to know?

[GenessorDios]

Knowledge is the lowest calorie food known to man.

Do seven vasectomies make impregnation impossible?

[aok]

You still need 3 more vasectomies.


What is small talk?

[GenessorDios]

Ooh, they don't like that. You're supposed to call it vertically-challenged conversations.

Would you like some fries with that answer?

[reiven]

that is just like you dammit. we agreed to hold off on offering food until we had a chance to measure the effect of the subliminal suggestions in our posts.

i can't trust you for shit.


what is the difference between propane and butane?

[GenessorDios]

<_< >_>

<whisper>
Nothing! Those chemists don't know what they're talking about!
</whisper>

Can you trust me for pee?

[reiven]

no; i'd say your J is well established.


what is the difference between an intj and an intp?

[GenessorDios]

An INTP's just an INTJ too cheap to pay the $5 admission fee. Actual INTPs don't actually exist.

Why do I still love hot dogs despite their disgusting origin?

[reiven]

because there is something comfortable in the visual.

why do the scotch claim naming rights to transparent tape?

[GenessorDios]

They get all drunk on whisky and think they can do whatever they want.

Why don't we kill all of them?

[reiven]

because some other ethnic group we like even less will move into their houses, property values go down, and the world economic crisis worsens. you sure can pick a winner when you go for it GD.

what would happen if we put an end to war?

[GenessorDios]

What a ridiculous idea. I'm psyched on killing someone now, but why limit ourselves to just one group?

Is bin Laden on Facebook?

[Synchronicity]

No. He's tired of CIA operatives trying to friend him.

How should you wash your laundry so it doesn't shrink?

[aok]

Buy new clothes.


What is the biggest waste of money?

[MortalWombat]

Fires, trash compactors, shredding, etc

Why do people procrastinate?

[GenessorDios]

It's the latest fad diet.

What happens if you put a car in reverse while traveling at high speeds?

[Taste of peat]

The car starts flying above the road.

Why do children like chocolate ?

[katrin]

Because they eat their own poo and choc makes it tastier.

What's the magical healing ingredient in cat saliva?

[reiven]

vitamin k

where do bad dogs go when they die?

[GenessorDios]

Ancient Egypt.

Whose bright idea was it to invent performance appraisals?

[RedOrange823]

yours. oh the irony

why is the sky blue?

[GenessorDios]

You know the old saying:

Roses are red,
the sky is blue.
Don't ask why
or you will be too.

Is my head shiny enough?

[aok]

I wasn't aware that it had any, but not having a shine is enough.


Why do little things bother people in big ways?

[GenessorDios]

God, why must you ask such a question?! You know, you're a real jerk sometimes! What the hell kind of question is that?! Do you want to get a smack in the face?!

Is it really worthwhile to think before you speak?

[RedOrange823]

Of course not! I mean if we all did you would never know that you were adopted. What's that? You didn't know?

Could it ever rain enough to flood the whole earth?

[GenessorDios]

Yes. That's why there's that law in place making it illegal for you to sing louder than 3dB.

What's a rhinestone made of?

[RedOrange823]

rhinosauerkrautoppings.

Who was the first person to make bread?

[Sazeriel]

The Muffin Man

Why does it hail?

[RedOrange823]

Hail is rice to Olympia and they throw it every time Zeus gets married.

How did we come up with languages?

[GenessorDios]

The first person who wanted to curse found grunts too ineffective.

Who decides what music to play when you're on hold?

[RedOrange823]

demons

who creates the music that plays when you're on hold

[GenessorDios]

21 monkeys on three harmonicas.

When will babel fish be cultivated?

[aok]

When Babylon falls.


Why isn't there any physical poking in the game of poker?

[GenessorDios]

You're playing it wrong.

Is Cuba a good place to go for vacation?

[reiven]

no. the cold, damp climate makes your bones ache.

what do fleas do when there is no dog?

[MortalWombat]

train for the circus.

do polar bears really drink coca cola?

[aok]

No, they drink Pepsi.


Which is your favorite gas station?

[RedOrange823]

taco bell. the beans there are like no other.

is zeus really my dad?

[GenessorDios]

Well, seeing as how Zeus' family tree resembles a drunken spider's web, I'd say he's probably your cousin and nephew as well.

What's more dangerous than a lemon?

[RedOrange823]

Absolutely nothing. Lemon has seductive powers that corrupt the very essence of being.

What's sharper than a double-edged sword?

[reiven]

a fourth grade math team from taiwan

where does water go when it evaporates?

[GenessorDios]

Congratulations on making it this far through life without grade school science knowledge.

Why don't rabbits wear glasses?

[WoodsWoman]

Because they wear contacts instead.

Why do snakes slither?

[datagirl]

they like alliteration

why do burmese pythons try to eat alligators?

[jinx31]

Their grocery store was out of ground beef.

Why does the sun rise in the east?

[GenessorDios]

Everyone knows the sun is in cahoots with compass manufacturers; that's how it's been financing its expansion all these years.

Why isn't it called blue tape?

[RedOrange823]

It was once, but blue got all depressed and, well, I don't like to talk about that much...

Why do Americans call it soccer but European's football?

[aok]

European's speak English, while American's speak for themselves.

What is the most positive aspect of negative thinking?

[jinx31]

The positive ions that bombard the negative thoughts into submission.

Who is Juan Valdez and how did he corner the world coffee supply?

[GenessorDios]

She took over the coffee industry with just one revolutionary product, Copper Coffer Coffee Toffee.

Are nanomachines really the cause of it all?

[jinx31]

No, Lester A. Jenkins started it all in 1954 while looking (a little too hard) at the JC Penneys Underwear Catalog.

Why don't birds fly to Hawaii for the winter?

[Synchronicity]

Have you seen the cost of plane tickets to Hawaii? What bird has that kind of money!

Why is radiation dangerous?

[RedOrange823]

it isn't. equate it to the tree of knowledge-if you consume radiation, you will know all the secrets of the universe.

What is the meaning of 2001: A Space Odyssey?

[Taste of peat]

There is a hidden meaning in 2001: A Space Oddyssey, which says "chocolate tastes good".

Why is my new battery so powerful ?

[WoodsWoman]

It's been weightlifting.

Why does dust collect in places no one ever goes?

[Taste of peat]

Because dust is misanthropic and enjoys being alone.

Why do wolves like meat rather than salad ?

[jinx31]

That is actually a misconception - wolves are in fact vegetarian, and love a good apple-walnut salad with raspberry vinaigrette.

Where do babies come from?

[MortalWombat]

The very depths of Hell itself.

What is virgin oil made from?

[WoodsWoman]

Fire ants.

Why is some chocolate white?

[jinx31]

Mr. Slugworth sent his spies and they stole all of the brown out of the chocolate.

What is curling, and why is it (still) an Olympic sport?

[RedOrange823]

The art of making the hairs into spirals. It's still included in the Olympics because hairdressers need to feel accepted.

Why is my dog staring at me?

[GenessorDios]

:wideeyed:

Oh sorry, what was the question again?

[Onigumo13]

:wideeyed:

Oh sorry, what was the question again?

Such a pesky lamebot , hmm...someone forgot to unplug your charger again :rolleyes:

"Allow me" *pulls a plug on Carla the lamebot :)* "no more electricity for you young lady ;)"

"Besides you have already drained half of Tokyo for shame :("

Does electricity is some sort of a marijuana , for the likes of you Carla ???

[WoodsWoman]

Pfizer employees are on strike.

Why do dogs bark in their sleep?

[Jon Shea]

Terrible daydreams.

What comes after 2?

[RedOrange823]

Bees or not 2 bees.

Who decided the order of the alphabet?

[Jon Shea]

Joseph Smith -- the alphabet was presented to him on a set of golden plates (in alphabetical order).

Where does the water go when I flush the toilet?

[WoodsWoman]

Into the kitchen sink.

Where do clouds come from?

[Sazeriel]

The god's breath on top of Mt Olympus. It's cold up there, you know.

Why are dogs' tongues so long?

[Gerard91]

The god's breath on top of Mt Olympus. It's cold up there, you know.

Why are dogs' tongues so long?

Because of ozone disproportion on Antarctica.


Why do you read this post?

[WoodsWoman]

So I can admire it's workmanship.

Where is my coffee cup?

[Taste of peat]

In my kitchen.

How do batteries work ?

[WoodsWoman]

Manually - with pick and shovel.

Where do anchovies come from?

[aok]

The equator.


Who da illest politician out there yo?

[Taste of peat]

My right(-winged) ball, when I'm drunk.

How do you usually use a map ?

[Sazeriel]

Close your eyes, spin around 3 times, and then point to some place on the map. Go there.

Why do I need to wear glasses?

[RedOrange823]

In case you get thirsty.

Why do we dream?

[Taste of peat]

Because we can't go to the cinema while sleeping.

Why does weather get cooler in autumn ?

[RedOrange823]

Because the universe goes into hibernation and puts us in the freezer to keep until spring.

why can't i think of a good question to ask?

[Sazeriel]

Because all of the good questions have already been answered.

Are tomatoes a fruit or a vegetable?

[reiven]

to balance out the school lunch program, they are now considered dairy.

what is sandalwood, and does it really smell like that?

[CanrHoldLimes]

Buttered Hotdogs and yes.

What was the first Ford model called?

[WoodsWoman]

Thunderbird.

When did someone first figure out how to make chocolate?

[jinx31]

Valentines Day, 1284 A.D. - The ladies were just bored with Whitman's Variety Box of Animal Entrails (with 1/2 the sugar!). Someone invented chocolate, and was the luckiest man in 1284!

Why does the sun disappear during a solar eclipse?

[Sazeriel]

The moon hurts its feelings, so it hides in shame.

Why is snow white?

[jinx31]

She had her name legally changed from Snow Silverstein.

Will California break off and fall into the ocean?

[WoodsWoman]

No, it'll dive in on purpose.

What are sausage casings made of?