View Full Version : I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game
08-01-2010, 08:03 AM
By ordering the mice to do it
How to stop a smoker from smoking?
08-01-2010, 12:10 PM
Submerge them in water.
Why does u always follow q?
08-01-2010, 12:22 PM
Why are there clouds?
08-01-2010, 04:52 PM
so the sun can blow its nose on something.
what's the best answer you can come up with?
08-01-2010, 06:31 PM
How old is God?
08-01-2010, 06:33 PM
why drive when you can fly?
08-01-2010, 06:37 PM
Scenery. And control. How well do you know those pilots really?
What are spider webs made of?
08-01-2010, 06:46 PM
when is the best time to juggle?
08-01-2010, 06:50 PM
Anytime is a good time to juggle. Tumbling on the other hand should only be done after 12.
Why are clowns sad?
08-01-2010, 06:52 PM
Forgot how to make that balloon teddy bear and a little girl asked for it.
Why do plants wilt?
08-01-2010, 06:53 PM
popcorn gets stuck in my teeth.
have i asked the question 'when do pigs fly' already?
08-01-2010, 06:57 PM
no and they fly when they need to get somewhere quickly.
What is a "crap shoot"?
08-01-2010, 07:01 PM
its when you have to run to the bathroom, you don't make it, and you say "shoot".
can dogs smell the truth?
08-01-2010, 07:07 PM
Yes. And the truth lies in our crotch. Explains a lot, doesn't it?
Why can't you teach dogs to use a litter box like cats?
08-01-2010, 07:09 PM
Dogs think outside the box.
Why can't you eat moldy bread?
08-01-2010, 07:11 PM
Mold is high in fiber, which makes the bread too healthy for the diet of a modern person.
How are marshmallows made?
08-01-2010, 07:18 PM
By budding off of the marshmallow man. If you put a marshmallow in a pan and nourish it, it will grow into a marshmallow man and you get free marshmallows for rest of your life. :shhh:
What's at the end of a rainbow?
08-01-2010, 07:28 PM
who delivers at this hour?
08-01-2010, 07:36 PM
The Easter Bunny.
Why do Canadians say "Eh"?
08-01-2010, 07:36 PM
Midwives and tooth fairies
Why is mozarella cheese so stringly and cheesy? :cheesy:
08-01-2010, 07:41 PM
it's what the cheese god ordained.
what's behind door number one?
08-01-2010, 07:54 PM
Cookie monster! Gotta guard my cookie jar!
Why do people blush when they get embarassed?
08-02-2010, 03:27 AM
because embarrassed is a mid-point between jovial and angry. the closer you get to angry, the higher the blood pressure, causing the face to light up reddish.
what is the difference between ceramic and porcelain?
08-02-2010, 05:04 AM
The income of the person buying it.
What causes weird dreams?
08-02-2010, 05:05 AM
That's very good. How did you know that was the question that gets most people raped in prison?
Can I have a candlelight breakfast?
Edit: MortalWombat! *shakes fist*
08-02-2010, 05:15 AM
Sorry, Gen. :embarrassed:
Only if you plan on eating the candles.
Why does my dog stare at me?
08-02-2010, 05:25 AM
You're such a sloppy eater, you probably got bits of steak trapped in your beard. Feed that poor creature, would you?!
Who decides what's impossible?
08-02-2010, 05:33 AM
The president, obviously.
Are there people on Mars?
08-02-2010, 05:35 AM
Yes, but good luck trying to send a package to them.
How can you improve your odds of winning the lottery?
08-02-2010, 05:58 AM
Reduce the evens.
Which is a good day to die?
08-02-2010, 08:18 AM
The day vampires are proven to be real.
What causes supernovas?
08-02-2010, 02:36 PM
Stars get bored of doing nothing but fuse hydrogen into helium for billions of years and explode in a fit of ennui.
How do silencers work?
08-02-2010, 02:37 PM
It plugs your ears so you don't hear anything.
Why do people get goosebumps?
08-02-2010, 06:18 PM
because you have to be really cold to get ducklumps
does getting pricked by a porcupine hurt?
08-02-2010, 07:24 PM
Only on Tuesdays.
Do dogs ever shut up?
08-03-2010, 04:01 AM
Only on the day of the second full moon in a given month - it confuses them.
What does the future hold?
08-03-2010, 08:28 AM
Nothing, once I've burned the photographic proof.
Do you think a Camelot to drink so much?
08-03-2010, 05:49 PM
nope. that's why i suggested AA.
is it too late to take a walk?
Not if you run.
What's your opinion on the military?
08-03-2010, 07:08 PM
nobody cares what my opinion is
how deep is the rabbit hole?
08-04-2010, 01:13 PM
As deep as a thought.
What if I had gills?
08-04-2010, 01:18 PM
Get bloated for swimming too much. Make sure to drink osmotically balanced beverages. ;)
Why do hair grow when you don't get any taller?
08-04-2010, 01:55 PM
Hair doesn't grow; you shrink.
why are people rude?
It makes them feel more powerful
What is your belief system?
08-04-2010, 06:37 PM
Why doesn't my mouse want to cooperate?
08-04-2010, 06:47 PM
all mice come with explicit instructions to keep debris away from the sensor. your repeated refusal to do so caused an electronic message to be sent to the manufacturer, who has since disabled 30% capacity of your device. if you do not regularly maintain the sensor, the next program has the mouse work perfectly for 10 seconds, and then kick off for three; rinse repeat.
you need to take this serious.
08-04-2010, 06:49 PM
Wasn't this the wrong answer game?
08-04-2010, 06:52 PM
it was the wrong answer because i went the mfg technician went strait to the 10 on 3 off thing.
this is still techically a rumor, as far as you can prove
08-04-2010, 06:54 PM
Or is it?
08-04-2010, 07:06 PM
Due to misalignment of Pluto with Mickey Mouse it won't work.
Why is it so hard to breath when it's humid?
08-04-2010, 07:41 PM
Because water in vapour form is actually toxic, and induces asthma-like breathing problems.
Why do tree trunks have rings that correlate to their age?
08-04-2010, 07:56 PM
they are painted in chocolate by union wage keebler elves
what is the difference between a troll and a goblin?
08-04-2010, 07:57 PM
the place they live.
What's the difference between smeagol and golum?
08-04-2010, 08:30 PM
how do plants grow without a brain?
08-04-2010, 09:00 PM
Same way that my husband did.
What is the fuzzy stuff on the leftovers in my frig?
08-04-2010, 09:06 PM
what's the rush?
08-04-2010, 09:44 PM
Why are the polar ice caps melting?
08-04-2010, 10:02 PM
To cool our swimming pools
How do birds have sex?
08-04-2010, 10:08 PM
They copy the bees.
What's that weird noise outside my window?
08-04-2010, 10:25 PM
Bees having sex
I want to make brownies but I don't have any cocoa in the pantry. What can I substitute for the cocoa in the recipe?
08-04-2010, 11:01 PM
What is Xanthan Gum?
08-05-2010, 12:46 AM
It's that thing you eat a lot without ever remembering having eaten any.
Why do people get offended when they are treated as objects, and not humans?
08-05-2010, 04:47 AM
Because it just reminds them that objects have value, and that their pathetic human life is worth nothing.
Why do women wear high heels?
08-05-2010, 05:51 AM
They're secret weapons. The heel usually encases a dagger.
Where is home?
08-05-2010, 07:27 AM
A bulging organ inside your ribcage.
What's the opposite of love?
08-05-2010, 07:52 AM
Why be just friends when the option of bitter enemies is still available?
08-05-2010, 08:02 AM
To mooch for free stuff and a place to crash when need be.
Why do people think penguins so cute?
08-05-2010, 08:18 AM
They're projecting their leftover feelings from the dodo.
I want to grow taller; how do I achieve this?
08-05-2010, 01:23 PM
wear those heels you bought last week.
Why wont he leave me alone?
He's giving you the glad hand.
What's the right answer to the wrong question?
08-05-2010, 02:25 PM
Any answer will do.
What is moo shu gai pan?
08-05-2010, 03:19 PM
a chinese cow.
how quick is quick sand?
08-05-2010, 06:59 PM
Quicker than a slow cooker.
Why are turtles so slow?
08-05-2010, 08:50 PM
They haven't discovered cocaine yet.
Why do metronomes click?
08-05-2010, 09:01 PM
They don't like to tap.
What's the different between frogs and toads?
08-05-2010, 09:19 PM
Why don't people go to a specific area to die like whales?
08-06-2010, 05:39 AM
Because the whales have already reserved them.
Why is the sun hot?
08-06-2010, 05:51 AM
Why do loosers show up at the most inopportune time?
08-06-2010, 06:48 AM
They love to eat leftovers.
How dogs befriend cats?
08-06-2010, 06:57 AM
They threaten the cats with their lives to act like friends.
How many cats does it take to make a violin string?
08-06-2010, 07:10 AM
1, the other 8 ran away
What is the proper way of driving a motorcycle?
08-06-2010, 09:06 AM
With a horse whip and spurs whilst drinking a Guinness.
Why do people consistantly show up late for their appointments?
08-06-2010, 11:57 AM
They have trouble opening doors.
Why are they called goosebumps?
08-06-2010, 06:15 PM
its a translation from french, meaning 'asked and answered'
when's the circus coming to town?
08-06-2010, 06:17 PM
they're here already, they didn't call you?
Why can't I find inspiration?
08-06-2010, 06:20 PM
not enough idle time.
why do axe murderers live in the woods?
08-06-2010, 06:22 PM
They practice murdering trees with their axe.
Where is he?
08-06-2010, 06:25 PM
gone with the wind.
when's the best time to pack for a trip?
08-06-2010, 06:26 PM
Why am I dizzy?
08-06-2010, 06:29 PM
that'll happen if you sniff too many coffee grinds
is crack really whack?
08-06-2010, 08:04 PM
It is for plumbers
How can I learn Spanish?
08-06-2010, 08:07 PM
Eat some tacos
How can I learn pig latin?
08-06-2010, 08:08 PM
eat raw pork.
where is that plane going?
08-06-2010, 08:12 PM
Gone with the Wind
What is the greatest movie ever made?
08-06-2010, 08:48 PM
Grease. It has everything.
Why do some mushrooms make you dream and others kill you?
08-06-2010, 09:23 PM
It's all about the color.
Why is there no such thing as a free lunch?
08-06-2010, 10:53 PM
Because you still have enough cash to buy an empty plate.
How do beards differ from each other?
08-07-2010, 01:27 AM
mites. Some adhere more than others.
Why do my eyelids get heavy when I am tired?
08-07-2010, 02:42 AM
because you usually bathe when you wake. going for long periods of time without bathing allows the eyelids to accumulate debris (organic and otherwise) which impedes their function.
how much coffee is required for one to levitate?
08-07-2010, 05:37 AM
Why am I being so lazy this morning?
Because there's no one to dance with.
Why does time keep going?
08-07-2010, 08:24 AM
It had too much to drink.
What's the difference between sambo and samba?
08-07-2010, 08:26 AM
a and o.
is it too early to start drinking?
08-07-2010, 06:46 PM
Of course - it's 6 AM somewhere.
Why do mice like cheese?
08-07-2010, 08:22 PM
It squeeks for them when they eat it.
What would happen if all the women in New York City flushed a tampon down a toilet all at the same time?
08-07-2010, 10:32 PM
why is the road to hell paved with good intentions?
08-07-2010, 10:37 PM
Because the road to heaven is paved with punished good deeds.
What is the best material to use for a lightning rod?
08-07-2010, 10:39 PM
Is Pluto a planet?
08-07-2010, 10:41 PM
No, he's mickey's dog.
What is the secret ingredient in floor wax that makes it so shiney?
08-07-2010, 10:45 PM
Why is it bad manners to pick your nose in public?
08-07-2010, 10:52 PM
There's just not enough to share with everyone. Just like having candy in elementary school.
Why do religions portray the devil as a male?
Because they'd get claims of being sexist if portrayed as female.
Why is Buddha so fat?
08-07-2010, 11:43 PM
Not fat, he's just got really big bones.
Why do people who claim to not be addicted to things exhibit shame when confronted with that inquirey?
08-08-2010, 07:12 AM
They are actually addicted to shame and are proud of it
Why do people need to smile?
08-08-2010, 07:21 AM
To keep their jobs.
Why do I keep taking extra shifts?
08-08-2010, 07:25 AM
To dodge enough sandfall ruining your neck bones.
Why are there so called "weirdos"?
08-08-2010, 07:28 AM
To help control the yuppie population.
Why are yuppies so brain dead?
The ties they wear prevent blood flow to the brain.
Why don't hippies stand on the corner offering free love?
08-08-2010, 07:31 AM
They hung their brains inside their butt.
How do we start a good fight?
08-08-2010, 07:35 AM
Something about putting sand on a line.
Why can't I use aluminum knuckles instead of the brass ones?
08-08-2010, 07:37 AM
It will kill all your carpal muscles to a dough.
Do snail mail still exist?
08-08-2010, 07:38 AM
because aluminum knuckles don't show up in airport scanners. what fun is it if no one catches you?
because they don't have fingers for typing PMs
why don't ants organize into a union?
08-08-2010, 07:40 AM
Little guys like to be heard the most.
Who is in control of the railroads?
08-08-2010, 07:41 AM
the monocled monopoly dood.
how bad does the B&O railroad smell?
08-08-2010, 07:43 AM
So bad that it will shatter all your good moments in life.
How does a human differ from apes?
08-08-2010, 07:45 AM
humans sling shit in political ads
*remembers this is the wrong answer thread*
the difference is apes have two extra ribs
is saturated fat really bad for you?
08-08-2010, 07:47 AM
Unless you inject it inside your brain.
Where can we find suicide notes?
08-08-2010, 07:55 AM
Pre-written in FBI agents briefcases.
Why 13 wraps on a noose, why knot 12 or 14...?
08-08-2010, 07:57 AM
It was once left in a fairy tale with a good ending.
Why do siblings fight?
08-08-2010, 07:58 AM
13 knots gives a nice tilt to the broken neck
big money on pay per view, especially if they are twins
why do people clean up on sunday?
08-08-2010, 08:07 AM
to prevent mental retardation.
How do people keep their houses secured?
08-08-2010, 08:08 AM
Bungee cords and earwax.
Why do I have to have car insurance to drive?
08-08-2010, 08:10 AM
because the gummint intends to take over that, too
what is the smallest thing known to mankind?
08-08-2010, 08:13 AM
Social security reserves.
How will I know?
08-08-2010, 08:17 AM
It will hit you in the gut like a punch. Ignore the man walking away with bruised knuckles and go do what you know you have to.
Is it time to change the lights?
08-08-2010, 02:38 PM
yes. though quaint, your london era gas lamps coat everything in a petrol smelling film
how do you make cellophane?
08-08-2010, 04:08 PM
where can I buy a flamethrower?
08-08-2010, 04:10 PM
many east coast home depots now have an Acme Tool Rental built into the store. they've been out of rockets since august 2nd, but flamethrowers they have.
how do you etch crystal?
08-08-2010, 06:54 PM
By glaring at it.
How do you turn lead to gold?
08-08-2010, 06:57 PM
fairy dust. From dead fairies. Blonde ones.
How many cats can you fit in a phone booth?
08-08-2010, 08:37 PM
One puss in booth
Is Tinkerbell gay?
08-08-2010, 08:44 PM
Yes, she is very gay to find Peter Pan in her life
What must be done in case of emergency?
08-08-2010, 08:58 PM
Take some pixie dust and call me in the morning
Do cell phones cause brain cancer?
08-09-2010, 02:18 AM
Not at all, they make you smarter ...
How can you make some money?
08-09-2010, 03:13 AM
some special paper, some ink, a few plates...
how does an atm card work?
08-09-2010, 04:36 AM
The guy inside the machine takes the card, counts the money, and give it to you !
How can you fix a computer ?
08-09-2010, 06:58 AM
wash it with soap and water
How do you fix a cat?
08-09-2010, 08:26 AM
1st life: Slice it's throat with a razor ...
2nd life: Set it's fuzzy fur on fire ...
3rd life: Silence her sweet "meows" underwater ...
4th life: Throw it's cute tiny body of the window ...
5th life: Tie it's small legs to a rail road ...
6th life: Pop it's wide cute sparkling eyes with a screw driver ...
7th life: Shoot it's brains out with a 12Gauge ...
8th life: Hammer some nails in it's small cute skull ...
9th life: nah .. i think the ninth life is just a myth.
How can you tame a lion ???
08-09-2010, 08:35 AM
You give it your blood.
What does TypeINTP hate cats so much?
08-09-2010, 07:53 PM
One teased him unmercifully when he was just a lad.
Wherefore art thou Romeo? - - - - Romeo? Who's Romeo?
08-09-2010, 11:42 PM
Related to Cameo and found only in the bottom of a tequilla bottle.
What's the function of time?
08-10-2010, 12:44 AM
To help you ALWAYS be late !
How do processors work?
08-10-2010, 08:47 AM
They have mexican jumping beans in them.
Why must it be so hot outside?
08-10-2010, 04:05 PM
The sun has a crush on you; it wants to be as close as possible without warranting a restraining order, or burnt edges.
When will it be winter?
08-10-2010, 05:37 PM
in just under three metric years
what is the viscosity of all natural honey?
08-10-2010, 05:38 PM
what will I dream about?
08-10-2010, 06:05 PM
snips and snails and puppy dog tails
why is mary quite contrary?
She had a little lamb.
Why is Christmas merry?
08-10-2010, 06:09 PM
when's the best time to exhale?
What's the difference between working out and manual labor?
08-10-2010, 06:16 PM
one uses an ice pick, the other an axe.
who's your daddy?
The one who says "yo son"
Who's the father to the sun?
08-10-2010, 06:38 PM
why so many questions?
08-10-2010, 08:57 PM
Does Pizza Hut deliver to my neighborhood?
08-10-2010, 09:05 PM
Only with armed escorts....who pole dance.
Why does my LT side hurt for no apparant reason?
08-10-2010, 09:20 PM
Elves have been attacking you while you sleep. Also cobbling your shoes.
Why do I start craving breakfast cereal at exactly the same time every single night?
08-10-2010, 10:19 PM
So you can have some blue diamond, pink heart and purple horseshoe psychedelic dreams at night.
Why is the leprechaun’s name Lucky?
08-10-2010, 10:26 PM
Because he's got the luck of the Irish. It's not always good luck, it's not always bad luck, it's just luck.
Why is absolutely everything with the name ''Tiffany'' so expensive?
08-10-2010, 10:35 PM
False advertising and a unconfrontational public.
Why do doctors order exams for people that they themselves would not submit to?
08-10-2010, 10:41 PM
Patient turnover rate. The faster the old ones die, the faster new ones come in.
Why do so many good actors sign up for such crappy films?
08-10-2010, 10:54 PM
What would happen if the Toxic Avenger's girlfriend could see?
08-10-2010, 10:57 PM
She'd probably leave him for Quasimodo.
Why can't I sleep?
08-10-2010, 11:06 PM
All the sharks that are swimming on your floor when the lights go out are getting to you more than usual tonight.
How is it that sharks mysteriously swim on bedroom floors in the dark?
08-10-2010, 11:09 PM
They're looking for Gilda Radner and Laraine Newman. (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)
Why isn't SNL reliably funny anymore?
08-10-2010, 11:19 PM
It is for those who eat fried spam and like everything served from a can.
How did people ever start to eat the by product of a chicken's menstrual cycle (eggs)?
08-10-2010, 11:22 PM
For the same reason people drink the discharge from a bovine's mammary glands. Somebody, at some point, said to himself, ''Hey, I think I'll squeeze that and drink whatever comes out.''
When is the end of the world coming?
08-10-2010, 11:26 PM
12-22-2012. Although some argue it will be 12-21-2012. I have my $$ on the latter. Either way, if I am wrong, I won't have to pay up.
Why can't hookers and escorts just get along?
08-11-2010, 06:30 AM
Bad for business
Why would anyone want to be President?
08-11-2010, 06:42 AM
The shoe closet in the White House is two storeys high.
Who came up with the name Snickers?
People laughing at capitalist consumers while consuming the toll of their consumption.
How do you taste the rainbow?
08-11-2010, 03:24 PM
Why do that?
To keep living.
Who is Dr. Who?
08-11-2010, 03:41 PM
First baseman with a PhD.
How do you get a ship in a bottle?
08-11-2010, 03:46 PM
By catching the east wind.
How do you solve a Rubik's Cube?
08-11-2010, 08:39 PM
With a sledge hammer.
How do you make blond brownies?
08-11-2010, 09:10 PM
Add bleach, lots of it.
What's the best treatment for a sad finger?
08-11-2010, 09:46 PM
Tell it a wicked knock-knock joke and buy it another round.
Where can I find True Love's Kiss?
08-11-2010, 10:05 PM
You'll have to be dead in a casket and hope prince charming comes by.
What kind of kiss do I get for being partially alive and lying in a casket?
08-11-2010, 10:07 PM
A warm, firm, intense kiss, followed by several sharp chest compressions, another kiss, and if all else fails, the removal of the beer and the lowering of the casket.
Why do people flake at the last minute without calling?
08-11-2010, 10:14 PM
They expect you to be able to pick up on the subliminal vibes they are sending you.
Why do people who continuously flake wonder why I never call them any more?
08-11-2010, 10:20 PM
Because the universe revolves around them and they're wondering if you didn't get the memo.
What's the most fitting punishment for someone who's always late, always flaking and always forgetting?
08-11-2010, 11:21 PM
Castration seems appropriate.
What would my punishment be if I met only 1 of those three criterion?
08-11-2010, 11:29 PM
In the case of always being late: Hanging.
flaking: Quartering and drawing.
forgetting: Installation of a timed electrical instrument that sends a sharp bolt to your nipples thirty minutes before the designated ''time to leave'' minute.
What is the appropriate treatment for someone who meets all three, but is female?
08-11-2010, 11:33 PM
Binding of the feet.
Why is it difficult to drink enough water?
08-11-2010, 11:36 PM
Because it never stays where it belongs. All that sweating, salivating and peeing business just flushes it all out.
What's the least painful way to permanently curl one's hair?
08-11-2010, 11:49 PM
Toe in the light socket and paper clip in the outlet whilst holding onto it.
Why is there also global warming of Mars?
08-11-2010, 11:51 PM
The sun is targeting us specifically, trying to tear our love apart.
What sort of fun could someone have on a weekend in Toronto?
08-11-2010, 11:57 PM
Skinny dipping bull chases is big I hear.
Why won't any of the Washington to British Columbia ferries let me store my travel pack so I don't have to take it through customs?
08-12-2010, 12:01 AM
'Coz you're a shady-lookin hoser, eh?
Why did I miss out on the 70s??
08-12-2010, 12:13 AM
Because of poor cinemaphotography and sub-par special effects.
What is a common excuse you use to get out of something you don't want to do without hurting any feelings?
08-12-2010, 12:15 AM
''Sorry I couldn't make your sister's wedding. I broke my leg and had to be shot.''
Is it tacky to ask for cash at a baby shower?
08-12-2010, 12:24 AM
Not unless you are selling the baby, then it is all just fine and an untraceable transaction.
Why don't credit card companies use Vikings to advertise their plunderous interest rates?
08-12-2010, 12:27 AM
They lack the appeal of the Celtic barbarian, who is generally more likable but much more expensive.
What is the Internet made of?
08-12-2010, 12:33 AM
Interconnected puppie dog tails.
Why do people pursist in doing things they don't enjoy?
It gives them an excuse to complain, which may be their favorite thing to do.
How do you freeze time?
08-12-2010, 01:38 AM
In a trap of sublimated mercury.
How do you make posts here post in a decent time frame?
08-12-2010, 01:46 AM
By shooting the president!
What makes an invention useful ?
08-12-2010, 02:00 AM
That answer enough? no? fine.
Inventions are useful when they can be used to eradicate intelligent people.
How could I apply to live in a space station?
08-12-2010, 02:03 AM
By going to your nearest drug dealer!
What's the meaning of life ???
08-12-2010, 02:05 AM
To divide by zero.
How do you slow down light?
08-12-2010, 02:12 AM
Traffic .... or just hide its keys!
How can you make a bicycle beat a Bugatti Veron ?
08-12-2010, 02:17 AM
Use a defibrillator on the bicycle to get it pumping.
What is global warming?
08-12-2010, 02:21 AM
An evil plan devised by the government to force people to buy more ACs!
What is the lest attractive thing about a girl?
08-12-2010, 02:28 AM
Her intelligence and female features.
How do penguins fly?
08-12-2010, 02:33 AM
JFK Airport ...
What makes dope so great?
08-12-2010, 04:50 AM
The brush you apply it to the threads with.
Why do people who are in a relationship claim ownership one over another?
08-12-2010, 05:41 AM
The tale says:
Bunnies happened, long ago, to ride tigers to Egypt in order to overtake the reign of street cats. Basically, every time a cat and a bunny fight, a man claims ownership of a woman or vice versa.
- Why are some animals herbivores and some others are carnivores?
08-12-2010, 05:45 AM
God's divine plan ..... yeah, it's a plan!
How come Deoxyribonucleic acid doesn't melt people ??
08-12-2010, 06:49 AM
We've got salt in our cells, also our bones are alkaline.
Who is the what?
08-12-2010, 04:01 PM
Why does peroxide bubble when you spray it on an unclean wound?
08-12-2010, 05:46 PM
peroxide is a corrosive. the bubbles are the result of dissolving tissue
what is the most popular flavor of toothpaste?
08-12-2010, 05:49 PM
How many colors are there?
08-12-2010, 06:15 PM
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how does a microwave work?
08-13-2010, 01:51 AM
Tiny dudes living inside the machine wave their arms like crazy, producing an intense heat wave that boils the food alive. They sacrifice themselves in doing so, but thankfully they reproduce like crazy when not at work.
Also, m=-3 and m=-5 are switched.
Where do crazy people go to get away from it all?
08-13-2010, 04:17 AM
to their jobs.
What metal is most common on the moon?
08-13-2010, 05:05 AM
Mostly heavy. Some scientists say black or death but that's still being disputed.
How does one train to be a hitman?
08-13-2010, 06:30 AM
The train from London to Germany usually gives good lessons.
What time is it?
08-13-2010, 07:37 AM
It's time to egg someones house ... go ahead, don't be shy ...
Was Hitler a good guy??
08-13-2010, 08:57 AM
Good enough to father you.
How many cell phones would it take to boil an egg?
08-13-2010, 10:23 AM
One. the Iphone.
How many eggs does it take to boil a cell phone?
08-13-2010, 10:31 AM
4 eggs and 1 sidewalk.
Why is the sun hot?
08-13-2010, 11:50 AM
To make the other planets keep their distance.
Why are crickets so loud at night?
08-13-2010, 02:26 PM
They made a marvelous breakthrough. Instead of trying to be as quiet as possible during their nightly B&Es, they discovered that the opposite strategy was much easier to pull off. Their haul has been quite plentiful since all the sleeping insects still don't know who's stealing from them. David Attenborough's new show will clear that up soon, but most insects don't get BBC, so it may take a while. At least the British insects are on to them now.
Why doesn't a shampoo's taste match its smell?
08-13-2010, 05:05 PM
some do. it takes diligence to find them, though
what is the secret behind the success of Sharpie markers?
08-13-2010, 05:11 PM
The souls of children, compressed into permanent liquid.
What makes a song "catchy"?
Taste of peat
08-13-2010, 05:14 PM
An composer touched by the Muse. Or some luck.
Why are carrots orange ?
08-13-2010, 05:29 PM
they originally wanted to be red, but apples retained a better lobbying firm
what is the price of happiness?
08-13-2010, 05:30 PM
$15 and some shipping.
What's really at the end of the rainbow?
08-13-2010, 05:36 PM
a gay pride parade
where do you get the keys to victory?
08-13-2010, 05:42 PM
From the Ford dealership
What is the meaning of life?
Why do fools fall in love?
08-13-2010, 06:29 PM
Because they can't stand properly
How to look at the sun without getting a suntan ?
Do it at night.
Is there any coke in the fridge?
08-13-2010, 07:09 PM
Right behind the meth
why is soda pop fizzy?
08-13-2010, 07:19 PM
It's because of all the fairy dust. Fairy dust particles are everywhere in nature, and are primarily harvested by soda companies in order to ARGH! WATCH OUT IT'S A GOAT
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Woah! You guys see that? That was CLOSE.....
Question: Have you stopped eating the flowers in my garden yet?
08-13-2010, 07:45 PM
Waiting for the pixie dust to evaporate
Why does daffgard post so many images?
08-14-2010, 04:21 AM
Will it be hot today?
08-14-2010, 04:32 AM
Why don't you smile?
08-14-2010, 04:36 AM
Face is paralyzed.
Where do the unicorns live?
08-14-2010, 05:50 AM
Did I answer the former question correctly?
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