I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game

[Cooper]

Because that flippin' rodent saw his shadow.


Why am I posting to the wrong threads?

[WoodsWoman]

Because Wyatt told you to.

Why are people so exhausting in person?

[Cooper]

Because they don't come with coffee.

Why do I suddenly want coffee?

[GenessorDios]

There's no other way to get your fix after you stopped doing crack.

When will the ancient Egyptians return to claim their rightful places as rulers of Earth?

[WoodsWoman]

When the pyramids melt that are holding them down.

Why is it still snowing?

[jonnyb]

Global warming is happening everywhere except for around your home WW.

Why is the same bike ride harder some days than others?

[GenessorDios]

Because you steal good bikes on some days and bad ones on others.

If I pass the international date line, can I go back in time?

[Cooper]

Only if you do it bacwards and on your head.

What time is it in Neverland?

[hutbug]

Time to never grow up, of course!

Why does having a cold make one so tired?

[jonnyb]

Your body is expending massive amounts of energy to keep your brain tethered in your skull each time you blow your nose.

Why is everyone having a kidney stone tonight?

[Cooper]

Its the newest fad.

Would you perfer prostate lumps?

[hutbug]

sure, couldn't hurt!

who's having a kidney stone, and is it a boy or a girl?

[Cooper]

Its a red squirrel, and a boy.

Anyone seen our woodland elf?

[hutbug]

Yes, I hear the sirens now.

What's the best movie ever?

[jonnyb]

Love Lines.

How's the best way to get into aerial dancing?

[hutbug]

Jump out of the plane and start running.

What's the best TV show ever?

[WoodsWoman]

Snow - and it's been off the air for a long time.

Why don't flowers bloom in winter?

[jonnyb]

They do, just, you know, under the snow. If you dig deeper, you may find them.

What is the point of going to the hospital if you refuse any and all treatment?

[WoodsWoman]

To keep nurses and doctors from being board.

Why is north "up" and south "down"?

[hutbug]

Uh...cuz people are idiots?

What's better than warm sunshine?

[Cooper]

Cold french fries

What is better then warm sheets?

[Seriously]

Hot salsa?


Explain foot fetishes to me.

[Cooper]

They are a touchy subject, think I'll that to someone else.

Why are my arms so cold?

[hutbug]

You hung them out of the coffin too long.

Why do we like food?

[jonnyb]

So you won't end up in a coffin too soon.

Why do DRs order retarded exams?

[Cooper]

Because the gremlins are running the show.

What is an acsent?

[jonnyb]

A funny way to talk.

Why did I forget to eat my cookie? *grabs cookie* *eats cookie*

[Cooper]

Because your cookie was scanned.

What have I been doing for the last 20 years?

[jonnyb]

Breathing?!

What sounds good for breakfast tomorrow?

[Cooper]

Steak, lobster, bacon, and pancakes.

Why am I suddenly hungery?

[jonnyb]

Because the sweaty sock you were chewing on isn't too filling.

How many guns does Charleton Hesston have in his casket?

[AnnoyingPony]

That's a trick question. Charlton Heston has no guns in his casket. However, when the 2010 apocalypse comes, he will resurrect from the dead, take everyone's guns, and wield them all at once using telekinesis. Then he will destroy us all.

Who will save the world now?

[Seriously]

My little pony.


Which one though?

[AnnoyingPony]

Shorty, the miniature horse. No one ever thought that the runt of the herd would ever learn to hack into the Pentagon...

Meanwhile, what will happen to Australia during the apocalypse?

[Seriously]

Nothing. I mean it's already pretty jacked up as it is.



Why do we spring forward and fall back?

[AnnoyingPony]

Because the earth is being carried in the backpack of a giant cosmic rabbit, and he's got a terrible sense of balance.

Why are there so many tricolor flags out there?

[reiven]

because Robespierre lives, and he's in a terrible mood.

why can't i sleep?

[GenessorDios]

You are asleep and posting in INTJf in a lucid dream. When you wake up all this will disappear.

Why are there bad people in the world?

[Cooper]

Target practice.

Why does water run uphill?

[GenessorDios]

They respectfully disagree with Newton.

When will Britney Spears stage her next comeback?

[Cooper]

Yes, as a waiteress at Applebees.

Why do dogs lick their.....feet?

[GenessorDios]

Because they can and it feels awesome!!!!....or so I'm told >_>

Where can I buy a dog with low standards?

[Cooper]

In the parking lot of a Cubs game.

Where can I buy a good push broom?

[GenessorDios]

Brooms 'R' Us, in the 'brooms' section, in the 'brooms' aisle, on the rack marked 'brooms'.

Why can't I cast magic spells like those darned Harry Potter kids?

[AnnoyingPony]

Because the Harry Potter kids are actually not human at all. They're a highly advanced alien race that are making us hallucinate that they are adorable magical human wizard children. How else do you explain the special effects?

Why do so many people believe in conspiracy theories?

[jonnyb]

Who said we did. All your trying to do is weed us, I mean those out by asking the question. YOu probably work for the government too, collecting data and trying to discover all our personalities from what we post. We're on to you AnnoyingPony.

Why do aliens come to visit Earth?

[AnnoyingPony]

Because they just realized that they accidentally left members of their own species there, which bred with humans to create INTJs. Now they have to kill us, because apparently we're abominations or something.

Why does Uganda's flag have a rooster with a mohawk on it?

[Gotta Wait]

The rooster that designed the flag had just lost a bet, but still wanted to be remembered forever.

Do sloths ever have a bad day?

[AnnoyingPony]

Sloths are lesser life forms and are unable to experience the difference between "good days" and "bad days." There.

Why can't I hold a pencil right?

[Gotta Wait]

Some people read thread titles as well as they hold pencils. There.

Why does the sun rise so fast in the morning, but slows down during the day?

[AnnoyingPony]

Because the sun gets tired really fast. The sun is currently on an exercise and diet plan, but it hasn't gotten very far and has poor endurance as a result.

Why does Sarah Palin still exist?

[GenessorDios]

With Bush out of office, comedy writers need all the material they can get.

When will someone build a ladder to the moon?

[AnnoyingPony]

When the Martians stop knocking it down for the lulz.

Why is the "over 9000" meme so popular?

[reiven]

when the eminent domain issues are resolved wrt the McDonald property
@AnnoyingPony> anything Hal doesn't understand

how does gravity evaporate in space?

[Cooper]

It sucks up to the stars.

Why would someone try to put out a gasoline fire with a garden hose?

[reiven]

because their mop was of no use at all.

does anything really matter?

[Gotta Wait]

Yes, nothing.

Are we adequately preparing for Y3K?

[reiven]

potted meat and saltines.

will MST3000 win an award?

[Cooper]

Yes. The hot dog speed eating award.

Why do we need to eat and sleep?

[reiven]

because Big Porcelain and Big Mattress have taken away our individual rights as citizens, leaving us hungry, tired, and dependent upon their products

should i go to work tomorrow?

[Gotta Wait]

I hope so. There are only 299 days until Christmas!

Who will the Lifetime Channel name as "Man of the Year?"

[Cooper]

By counting the gray hairs.

How will Spike TV name woman of the year?

[GenessorDios]

Cooper's latest victim. Unfortunately she won't be available to collect the award.

When will roaches learn that they're in for a world of hurt if they come into my room?

[Cooper]

When youy stop eating in your boxers.

Where is my victim, anyway?

[GenessorDios]

Her ashes keep your face youthfully white for just a little longer, until your next victim.

How do you keep getting away with murder?

[reiven]

he's killing the sheriff's enemies

why does prime rib taste so good?

[Gotta Wait]

Good taste is an acquired social skill.

Which should be abolished - "don't ask" or "don't tell?"

[GenessorDios]

Both, then add "Don't care".

What happens if Antarctica decides to crash into North America?

[Cooper]

Water rates go down.

Can I hold on long enough for my pizza to get here?

[WoodsWoman]

Of course not - the FBs are wiggling too much.

Why is it so easy to procrastinate?

[Cooper]

I'll get back to ya on that...

Do I have enough cash to tip the the pizza guy?

[NYK]

no. You must wash their dishes.

has anyone ever made a lick of sense to you?

[Cooper]

Not yet, first I must buy a plane ticket.

Did that filling hurt?

[jonnyb]

No, but is gonna when I go back to get drilled on Tuesday.

Where do all the cool kids go?

[Cooper]

Iceland or Canada

Is it going to snow here?

[jonnyb]

Not until March.

Why do I keep getting eyelashes in my eye?

[Cooper]

Because its easier to get in the eye then nose hair

Why do i stay up half my life doing this?

[jonnyb]

Beacause you are a natural and accomplish more with your other half of life than most do in their entirety.

Why doesn't go home time come around sooner, God, it's about time?!

[Cooper]

because you keep watch the clock, not the kiddies riding the scanner.

The Olympics are over, now what do I not watch?

[GenessorDios]

The snuff channel seems like a fun thing to watch.

How do I get mud off a shoe?

[Cooper]

Got a dog?

Why is Canada known for moose?

[GenessorDios]

Moose appeared to native Canadians on their vision quests through the snow, eh.

Cooper, Cooper, wherefore art thou, Cooper?

[Cooper]

Lost in the woods.

What is the meaning of life?

[GenessorDios]

Life's a bitch and then you die.

How do I get a park named after me?

[Cooper]

you die

Why do you want a park named after you?

[reiven]

because the drive and the neutral they named after me are in countries where everyone rides a bicycle

will Harley Davidson eventually make a flying-hog?

[GenessorDios]

No, if they did, every impossible thing that people said would happen will.

Why does my room smell like vanilla?

[themuzicman]

It's all that marijuana laying around.

What's the point of a picture of a robot?

[Gotta Wait]

Artificial vanity.

Does life begin at conception?

[GenessorDios]

Life begins the instant an empty flash memory chip is installed with the directive to KILL ALL HUMANS.

Does anyone by any chance know where one might purchase a death ray or doomsday device of some sort?

[Cooper]

Try Walmart.

Anyone want a very well worn pair of jeans, lots of holes?

[themuzicman]

That's SOOOO 1990s...

Where's the beef?

[Cooper]

No beef. Cheeseberga, cheeseberga, coke.

Who likes 70s SNL?

[Liason]

Who knows what that is?

[WoodsWoman]

Only the tree billy-goats Gruff liked Saturday Night Live in those years.

Is there anything besides a turkey that'll make a turkey track?

[reiven]

aluminum diamond plate, plastic clothes hangers and ponds cold cream (and any combination of the three will yeild a llama track.)

how do CD's end up in the wrong cases?

[Cooper]

Dogs, with paws.

Why are my cats insane?

[WoodsWoman]

Forced interactions with the dogs.

Why can't I get 30 mpg with my truck?

[Cooper]

Because you drive it. Leave it in park, you will.

Why do I feel the way I feel?

[reiven]

@ ww because you thought those square tires were just to interesting to pass up.
@ cooper because you sanded off your fingerprints for anonymity
what happens if i eat a whole can of pinto beans?

[Cooper]

annoypony moves in with you

Why do I not have a passport?

[WoodsWoman]

It seemed like an invasion of privacy.

Why do birds like black oil sunflower seeds?

[reiven]

@ cooper you do. it's in the glove compartment with your larynx.
@ WW because the hash-oil brownies got them in trouble
what did i ever do before i found the game threads?

[Cooper]

lead a normal life

What do I do now?

[reiven]

order another pizza and check with travelocity

should i do a little house work?

[Cooper]

Sounds like a fine plan, for another time.

What is the number for 411 information?

[reiven]

BR549

will tennessee ever be divorced from the redneck stereotype?

[Reganon]

Only if it marries it's cousin, Kentucky.

What is the next number in the sequence 1-2-3-4 _?

[Cooper]

82

Why is cold cold and hot hot?

[jonnyb]

Same reason a slap stings and a kick blunts.

Why do people think It weird to have a piece of lemon meraign pie for breakfast?

[reiven]

because they're used to emu jerky

what mated with an ostrich to get an emu?

[Cooper]

reiven

Why would you do that riev?

[GenessorDios]

He needed money to buy his sweet Burberry cap.

Why is the moon full?

[AnnoyingPony]

NASA cooked huge satellites and space exploration squads for the moon to eat. That's why we had to cancel the space program - the moon was absolutely stuffed.

Why are commercials always ten times louder than the show I'm watching?

[GenessorDios]

Loudness of any content on tv is determined by the dB value of the original recording, commercials tend to have a higher douchebag quotient than the shows.

When will humans harness lightning as a military weapon?

[AnnoyingPony]

You silly sheep, they already have! HAARP (Hairy Assed Ape Role Playing) is responsible for every natural disaster in history, including ones that they aren't responsible for.

When will humans finally accept that they taste like pork?

[jonnyb]

When AP opens a new resteraunt chain that serves grade a people burgers.

Why is my foot asleep?

[AnnoyingPony]

Oh, so the anesthetic is beginning to take effect, I see. You, my friend, will go down in history as being the first "people burger."

When is the apocalypse supposed to happen, exactly?

[GenessorDios]

Somewhere around 17 years ago, Mapquest gave the the horsemen a route going the long way around the universe.

Why can't I stick a fork into a socket?

[jonnyb]

Because you only have 3 fingers.

What does it feel like to be a people burger? will I like it?

[GenessorDios]

Cows seem to be fine with it, why should you be any different?

Where will the flagship KFP store be located?

[BuShinJu]

Outside the immigration terminal.

When, will I, will I be famoussssssssssss?

[AnnoyingPony]

When you market your fantastic lisping skills.

Will South Park ever run out of things to make fun of?

[Dru]

not until jesus comes back to earth.

what will happen to the world in 2012?

[AnnoyingPony]

Ragnarok.

How does a snake eat its own tail, exactly?

[Dru]

it continuously grows back; the tail sits in the mouth and the end digests for eternity.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of the earth?

[jonnyb]

Not many if someone pisses me off enough.

How does a glass of milk and a bottle of beer combine in my stomach?

[Dru]

it doesn't... why would you swallow glass? =/

where is al capone buried?

[reiven]

he and hoffa are still doing teamster paperwork. it seems like they'll never get done.

why do i wake up half naked in a wooded area near a park spattered in blood after such a pretty moon?

[GrnEyz]

That wasn't a moon... it was a searchlite from the Sheriff's helicopter.

Why in the hell do taxpayers support the people whose only ambition is to live off the government..?

[Cooper]

Because the cats make the rules

Wonder if I can Huck Finn my fence?

[GenessorDios]

Granted. Your fence has repeating pictures of Huck Finn all over.

Why do ants keep crawling into my pantry?

[Cooper]

Your pantry or your head? You seem to have some thread confusion.

Why am I so tired this morning?

[Liason]

We had a rowdy night eh?

What was the reason behind madness?

[AnnoyingPony]

GMO corn.

Why do male deer have antlers?

[Cooper]

helps show off the Christmas lights

What is on the darkside of the moon?

[BuShinJu]

A neon sign pointing "This Way to Las Vegas"

When will L Ron Hubbards aliens get here?

[Cooper]

They did. Haven't you heard of the Tea Partiers?

Do I HAVE to do my taxes?

[jonnyb]

No. If anyone asks, you can confidently say that 'JonnyB said I didn't need too.'

someone else can ask the fucking question this time!

[hutbug]

No, we can't, cuz we're all brain-dead!

Here's a question; why is this damn forum so addictive?

[AnnoyingPony]

Because the fairies in our computers are secretly force-feeding us cocaine. Through our eyes. Yeah.

Why is American Idol so popular?

[hutbug]

Because the channel is subliminally hypnotising us to not change it, arrrggg!

Why haven't I exercised in a week?

[AnnoyingPony]

Because your soul is being sucked into the TV by American Idol.

Why do people always forget about the good books that their crappy book-based movie counterparts are based on?

[GenessorDios]

We are at 351 Fahrenheit and rising.

Why does February always get the short end of the stick?

[Synchronicity]

People got sick of winter so they decided to knock a couple days off it each year.

Why do cats lick themselves?

[Wapiti]

Most people believe that cats lick themselves to clean themselves off. This however is only partially true as they are really are trying to clean their tongues because they have foul mouths and swear up a storm in kitty language.

Why does purple hate yellow?

[Seriously]

Because it's not blue.


Why does Wapiti have a pink fetish?

[Synchronicity]

It reminds him of his old bedroom when he was a kid.

What will be the next great invention?

[AnnoyingPony]

Time-bomb chewing gum.

Need a light?

[Synchronicity]

Yes, please. I can barely read my textbook.

Why are atoms so tiny?

[reiven]

lights require electricity and/or combustion, both of which will most likely be prohibited by a 51 vote majority in the senate
am i supposed to go somehwere today?

[AnnoyingPony]

Yes. You're supposed to go to hell. (jk)

Why are people freaking out so much about 2012 when they could just have faith in Cthulu and be saved?

[reiven]

because of the high levels of mercury in most processed fish products.

what is the final destination of the starship enterprise?

[Synchronicity]

Wherever they make redshirts.

Do you have a minute?

[reiven]

sure! tell me all of your problems

where can i but condensed water?

[AnnoyingPony]

If you want to butt condensed water, I should warn you: That stuff hurts. If you still want to do it though, you can try looking in Bhutan, where the path to the land of the Condensed Water is revealed only to the righteous.

Why do so many people hate Simon Cowell even though he gives good advice?

[Cooper]

They got past his charm.

What is happening to my stomach?

[Gotta Wait]

It's protesting pending laws against carbon emissions.

How come my TV only gets the Food Network?

[GenessorDios]

Oh god, you still haven't figured out how to change the channels?

How do I create artificial blood?

[Cooper]

Start with used motor oil and baby powder.

Why am I still wanting to go back to sleep?

[WoodsWoman]

Because your dreams take you to interesting places.

Where did I put my spare 9 volt batteries? Do I even have any?

[Cooper]

They are next to the spare refridgerator.

Am I in the right house?

[Seriously]

Depends. Are you right handed?


Red light or green?

[reiven]

Springtime in Vienna, pp 208-211.

do church folk like megadeath-type leads in their sunday morning worship?

[Cooper]

Only on the second Tuesday of the week.

What happened to my T?

[Liason]

I took the left arm and added it under the right. F

Why did I eat it?

[reiven]

for so many years you resisted the urges, you woke in cold sweats from the dreams, you told your counsellor.

finally there came the perfect storm of opportunity, availability, desire and that crazy, reckless abandon.

aren't you glad you did it?

[Liason]

Never

Why are you so crazy?

[reiven]

vitamin K deficiency


what is the point to a three ring binder?

[Liason]

Looking at the unnecessary middle ring everytime.

Why do I lack B12?

[AnnoyingPony]

Because vampires are sucking it out through your nostrils.

Why hasn't Liason noticed that vampires are sucking out B12 through his nostrils?

[Liason]

Because he is nerveless.

Why has AnnoyingPony noticed this?

[jonnyb]

Because she notices everything.

Why do I learn a few moves and then forget them when I try to practice?

[Cooper]

because they are beer google moves.

Why can't I find my T?

[jonnyb]

Because all you have left are Y and elbow fittings.

When is the best time to kife cooper pipes from construction sites?

[Cooper]

3 am on the second Tuesday of the week.

What is a cooper pipe.....er, never mind.

Whats for dinner?

[AnnoyingPony]

YOU. (evil grin)

Why do homophobes exist?

[reiven]

target practice


what is the difference between PVC and CPVC?

[WoodsWoman]

An ocean.

Why won't my brain work right now?

[jonnyb]

@ reiven: It all goes to KFC for their meal deals....no difference.

@ Woodsywoman: you ate too much KFC

What chemicals does McDonalds put in their food that liquifies my bowels so well?

[reiven]

@ jonnyb, depends, did you get the 1/4 lb McHemlock w/cheese?


why do i have to share my computer and get off in 20 minutes?

[jonnyb]

Because you aren't greedy enough to take your computer all for yourself.

Who thought up river dancing?

[Cooper]

because you forgot to get something off the closet self....

Why will that come back to haunt me?

[WoodsWoman]

Only if flowers don't bloom.

Why is it so late?

[jonnyb]

It's all physics and supperstition.

When is my book of supperstitions going to come in the mail?

[Cooper]

On the first saturday the post office doesn't deliver.

Is it snowing at the South Pole?

[jonnyb]

It's melting, duh.

So, when did Reiven decide on intp?

[Cooper]

he couldn't keep hold of his P ness, so he just gave in to it.

What the deal with the earthquakes?

[rwm4768]

Isn't it obvious? The U.S. built a giant earthquake machine to wreak havoc on the rest of the world.

Why can't I think of any good questions?

[jonnyb]

Because this forum is like a brain vampire. It sucks all your thoughts out as you look through it.

Why should I have to go; why doesn't someone else go instead?

[Cooper]

because you drew the short pie.

What the hell is going on around here?

[jonnyb]

Really, there is not a whole lot of anything going on. Personally, I am eating a slice of mommy's homemade bread whilst writing this. Oh shit, crumbs in my keyboard.

how about you?

[Cooper]

waiting for a rather steamy PM from my lady

No rodents to scan tonight?

[jonnyb]

No work for another 5 more days. I am in my off phase of the cycle.

Why is homemade bread so good?

[GenessorDios]

Store-bought bread doesn't have any fried chicken lodged in it.

What happens when the internet gets full?

[Cooper]

It burps and spits, then farts.

Why am I addicted to this forum?

[AnnoyingPony]

Like I said before, the internet fairies are secretly force-feeding you invisible cyber-cocaine through your eyes as you read this forum.

Why do conspiracy theorists exist?

[GenessorDios]

I believe they prefer to be called theoretical conspiracists and they exist to come up with new laws of conspiracy which can then be tested by practical conspiracists. After they are deemed safe, these conspiracies are then released to manufacturing companies, where they are mass produced and sold to consumers.

Where might one get into contact with aforementioned internet fairies?

[reiven]

write them a note and send it to ZOOM! Boston Mass, 02134

will the reception be in the US or the UK?

[WoodsWoman]

I believe the moon was mentioned...

Will I get everything done I want to today?

[reiven]

Yes! and you will get to do it all again tomorrow because AnnoyingPony will secretly follow you around and undo everything you accomplish today.

can i be so late leaving for work that there are negative consequences?

[eyeonyou]

of course not! The fish market will never miss you.

Where is my Tax Return???

[WoodsWoman]

Stuck in a bag of dog food - maybe Cooper has seen it?

Why can't I seem to think of a question?

[themuzicman]

You're the most intelligent person in the world.

Why blue for INTJs?

[jonnyb]

Because pink is for pigs.

Why is TMM asking about the forum colors again?

[themuzicman]

he abhors the color blue.

What does jonnyb not have an 'h' in it?

[Calica]

he gambled it away.

Do only pink pigs fly?

[themuzicman]

All pigs are pink.
Some pigs fly.

No, there are other colored pigs that fly.

If you could make water a color, what color would you make it and why?

[Cooper]

Solid.

What color is dead?

[AnnoyingPony]

Dead is orangish-hot-pink with a tinge of green.

If there was a fight between the St. Valentine's Day Cherub, the St. Patrick's Day Leprechaun, the Easter Bunny, Uncle Sam, the Halloween Pumpkin, St. Nicholas, and Harry Hanukkah, who would win and why?

[reiven]

Spider Man conquers all

Are TV dinners a healthy alternative to real food?

[Cooper]

Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds, 'cuz she's above that sort of thing.

If Gilligan was as smart as The Professor, would he be an INTJ?

[AnnoyingPony]

No. He'd be a RAGGLEUSHINORF.

Where can I get superpowers?

[Cooper]

Safeway, the second isle in, top shelf.

Why do you want superpowers?

[reiven]

because my pirate exploits would garner more renown

what is vinegar made from?

[ssrprotege]

faeces :yuck:

Why do people need to eat?

[reiven]

to keep our jaws from locking. the truth is, we could live forever on chewing gum, but Big Agriculture requires income, and they have convinced us that we need those stupid salads.

what makes cola brown and fizzly?

[Cooper]

Backwash

What am I doing here?

[jonnyb]

Backwashing.

Where's a new bottle of beer, unopened?

[reiven]

there is no more beer in the state of Utah. i do have a brand new bottle of crown (missing...one...two...four drenks so farr) wnat some?

why do my keyboard skill drap off when i drink?

[Cooper]

vat dee To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. it dos

Why do I still try to do what I know I can't do?

[reiven]

because you haven't been arrested for it in years.

will chocolate bark and crown royal make me sick?

[Cooper]

Buzz killer.

Drinkin' 'cuz its Friday or just 'cuz?

[reiven]

because i can't get stoned everyday...

will i ever get my house ready to sell?

[WoodsWoman]

Yes, but you get too many offers on it.

Why are the stars so bright on a winters night?

[hutbug]

Cuz summer makes them stupid?

Where is this endless supply of mucus coming from?!?

[Seriously]

The mucus fairy. Like Tinkerbell but not so pretty.


What does it mean to be in an open relationship?

[hutbug]

It means you're open to being crushed like a bug, hammered like a nail, and smashed like a ming vase. Have fun!

Will the mucus fairy take away my mucus and leave me $1?

[Seriously]

No she leaves you two quarters. One for each nostril.



Is there such a thing as a perfect man?

[hutbug]

Yes there is one and only one. Here:To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Is there a way to make the weekend last forever?

[Seriously]

Get it to picture it's mom naked.


Where did the monster in my closet come from?

[hutbug]

From the woods outside your window, and it's very hungry, so keep the door closed and locked!

Why does american idol totally suck this year?

[Seriously]

It doesn't. Your taste has just improved.


Does it ever really rain cats and dogs?

[hutbug]

*since this is the wrong answer thread, my taste has NOT improved and the show DOEs suck! :cheesy:*

No it only rains kittens and puppies, otherwise the drops would fight and bite.

Why do people love to mess with each other's heads?

[Seriously]

Evolution. People used to mess with their own heads until they almost went extinct then they started to mess with each others. It felt right hutbug.

How do you get blood from carpet...and drapes?

[hutbug]

Fire. Or a real estate agent.

Why does everyone pick on artificial sweetener?

[Seriously]

Because it's weak.


Why do things that taste so good have to be so bad for you?

[hutbug]

Because God hates us!

Why can't dogs use a litter box like cats?

[jonnyb]

They will if you put a fire hydrant and butterflies in it to catch their attention.

Why is IntJf so slow to load pages on my computer?

[WoodsWoman]

Because your computer has a grudge against you.

Why does caffeine help so much?

[reiven]

caffeine had a troubled childhood in poverty and want. as an enterprising Yuppie, caffeine was a futures trader on the NYSE, and made millions before the dot.com bubble burst. caffeine and his family now live reclusively on their private island of the coast of the Carolina's, only venturing out for humanitarian activities.

why is manure good fertilizer?

[WoodsWoman]

Because it smells so bad things grow trying to get away from it.

Why am I indoors on such a nice day?

[AnnoyingPony]

Because your house is currently surrounded by the SWAT team, the police, the FBI, and the international police.

Why is my cat Opal so stupid?

[reiven]

because opal is a stuffed animal on the corner of your bed. haven't you noticed you still have the original bag of kitty litter?

why does AnnoyingPony® still not know the difference?

[Cooper]

What? You think ponies know anything....horses, maybe, but ponies?

What is the difference between a pony and a horse? Besides being annoying?

[reiven]

ponies are warm friendly, cuddly creatures who want only the best for mankind.
horses, on the other hand, are known to eat orphans and drive over the posted speed limits (gasp!)

should i learn to play accordion?

[Liason]

No, our eyes will fall out and then we shall shove our eyes into our ears if you do.

How many clucks in a coocooclock?

[GenessorDios]

Clucks = Clock height / clock age + coefficient of coos

Why did Kris Kringle change his name?

[reiven]

witness protection program = paternity test + manslaughter charges (never proven)

how do reindeer fly?

[GenessorDios]

Invisible railroads in the sky.

Why is Mother Nature racist?