View Full Version : I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game
TravelnTrain
04-29-2009, 09:09 PM
Only in reruns.
Which is better, plasma or LCD?
Charly
04-29-2009, 09:35 PM
Neither. It's that ECO led crap that is being rolled out now that makes you feel good about owning a 50 inch plasma that uses more electricity than an entiry shanty town village.
Why do cougars love pepsi max so much?
Sequoia
04-29-2009, 09:36 PM
Neither; everything works best in a vacuum when it comes to tv; hence vacuum tubes are best.
How does one find a void?
TravelnTrain
04-30-2009, 04:55 PM
Browse through Facebook
Why are there so few INTJ's in the world?
intellael
04-30-2009, 05:04 PM
Most are living in their mental worlds. Only the few remain.
Why does the earth spin?
Synchronicity
04-30-2009, 06:02 PM
90% of all flatulence occurs in a westward direction, resulting in added momentum to the Earth's rotational spin.
What causes the seasons to change?
TravelnTrain
04-30-2009, 07:15 PM
Global warming
When does the prime-time TV season end?
Hjordis
04-30-2009, 08:04 PM
6:22PM on Wednesdays, for all other days at 8 in the morning.
Why is my poor plant albino?
TravelnTrain
04-30-2009, 08:26 PM
Gene therapy
Why must we die roses for Mother's Day?
Sequoia
04-30-2009, 08:46 PM
We don't actually, we undead them.
What is cubism?
TravelnTrain
04-30-2009, 09:01 PM
Circular reasoning
Why shouldn't Mothers celebrate their offspring who made them Mothers?
Seriously
05-01-2009, 07:20 AM
Because offspring are actually leaches that cause the hemorrhaging of money from our wallets and life from our souls. They feed on the mother until they are able to live on their own (some never reach this stage) and then burst forth from them Alien style leaving behind an empty shell.
Why do we put cheese on a hamburger?
Synchronicity
05-01-2009, 09:12 AM
Because you've got to do something with that dead cow's milk.
Why are they called hamburgers when they traditionally use beef?
Seriously
05-01-2009, 09:33 AM
Here is a little known fact for you; cows evolved from pigs. Initially when said "hamburgers" were invented the process had only just begun so it was correct to label them "ham" rather then "beef". The name stuck even after cows developed past their porcine stage.
Where do fruit flies come from?
Fruit fly embryos are actually present in all fruit. Only when suffiently outraged by the lack of affection of its fruit, do they transcend this initial phase and grow into a more developed state. This process is commonly called fruitflyification.
Who put the 'fun' in fundamentalism?
altoid
05-01-2009, 10:44 AM
Oh, Pat Robertson, without a doubt.
Is the DaVinci code real?
Sequoia
05-01-2009, 01:43 PM
It's been encoded into reality.
Why does salt taste good?
Seriously
05-01-2009, 01:46 PM
Salt is made from the sweat of pixies. And everyone knows pixies taste extremely good down right down to the last drop.
What makes teeth white?
Hjordis
05-01-2009, 03:42 PM
Consuming lots of mustard will dye your teeth white.
When do I get pie?
altoid
05-01-2009, 04:37 PM
Only after you finish all your cake.
How do bees make honey?
Night Runner
05-01-2009, 04:52 PM
They steal it from bears.
Who would win in a fight: a pterodactyl or a rhino?
TravelnTrain
05-01-2009, 05:17 PM
The asteroid that made them extinct.
Why are stop signs red?
Synchronicity
05-01-2009, 05:55 PM
As a reminder to drivers what the inside of their car will look like if they ignore the sign and have a collision.
Why do Hollywood actors make so much money?
TravelnTrain
05-01-2009, 05:59 PM
So they can pay the federal deficit.
Why won't Americans accept a dollar coin?
Synchronicity
05-01-2009, 06:08 PM
Because it makes us feel too much like Canada.
How many INTJs does it take to change a lightbulb?
TravelnTrain
05-01-2009, 06:15 PM
The ones who don't want to sit in the dark.
How does the Color Watch society predict next year's color trends?
Seriously
05-01-2009, 09:14 PM
Nostradamus was a founding member and predicted color trends through the year 2025. And then the end will come.
How do you mend a broken heart?
Night Runner
05-01-2009, 11:04 PM
With a blowtorch and girl scout cookies.
What do cockroaches dream about?
Synchronicity
05-01-2009, 11:07 PM
Nuclear armageddon. Their time will come. Patience... patience.
What mysteries lie beyond our solar system?
Sequoia
05-02-2009, 02:37 PM
An army of the nonterrestrials that have been probing us for weaknesses.
Why do so many INTJ's here think nonINTJ's are stupid?
Synchronicity
05-02-2009, 04:57 PM
Because they are.
What are clouds?
jazziejazzay
05-02-2009, 05:04 PM
The stuff at the end of Q-tips.
What does letters Z.I.P stand for in the words "zip code?"
Sequoia
05-02-2009, 07:54 PM
Zone Impervious Philosophy
Why does rain feel good?
Nemesis
05-03-2009, 03:44 AM
Because rain is made from Jesus' heavenly orgasms.
What would you do for a Klondike bar?
I'd give an eskimo kiss to an igloo.
What would you do to retire?
TravelnTrain
05-03-2009, 08:33 AM
Lie down.
Which mattress is the best mattress?
Sequoia
05-03-2009, 02:29 PM
The one made from cumulus clouds.
When does logic=illogic?
TravelnTrain
05-03-2009, 05:21 PM
When an F posts on this forum.
What TV show will have the highest May sweeps ratings?
Sequoia
05-03-2009, 05:39 PM
Big Brother. It is such a symbol of the times and everyone can relate.
When will there be enough security for most people to feel safe?
TravelnTrain
05-03-2009, 05:42 PM
When hazemat suits aren't needed. :cool:
Why do rainy days and Mondays always get people down?
They're broken (can't work) and/or wet (pushed further down).
What is the reason for the season?
Seriously
05-04-2009, 09:17 AM
There is no rhyme or reason for any season.
What makes people stupid?
Jeopardy! or other forms of trivial obsession.
What are emotions made of?
Hjordis
05-04-2009, 03:25 PM
Gold. It would be a good idea to sell yours, as you don't use them anyways.
How is plastic made?
Seriously
05-04-2009, 06:07 PM
They take people from California and melt them down. But only the bad ones.
Who Put The Bop In The Bop Shoo Bop?
Sequoia
05-04-2009, 06:23 PM
Stacy down in the secretarial pool did as a joke one morning.
How can you tell if someone from California is one of the bad ones?
Seriously
05-04-2009, 06:36 PM
Arnold knows. Arnold knows all.
Who made God?
Sequoia
05-04-2009, 07:05 PM
Our pets did. God only knows why.
How do you make a sombrero?
Hjordis
05-04-2009, 07:41 PM
Well, in Korea the word for sombrero is baseball hat, you'd have to take a baseball, cut it in half, and water one of the halves until it fits your head. Duh!
What is 2+2?
Synchronicity
05-04-2009, 08:17 PM
Whatever Big Brother says it is.
Who is the most trustworthy person on the planet?
Seriously
05-04-2009, 08:22 PM
Me. And because I am the most trustworthy person on the planet you can trust me when I tell you that.
Why is fat lighter than muscle?
Charly
05-04-2009, 08:23 PM
It has to do with how the pound of rocks weighs more than the pound of feathers. If you really mean why is fat less dense than muscle, then it has to do with how many years of higher education you have.
Jesus. He lives on the west coast of the US.
what is the ideal GSM for a business card?
Sequoia
05-04-2009, 09:16 PM
Greatest Sample of Meanings
What is the most absurd animal on the planet?
Kathryn
05-04-2009, 09:31 PM
Man.
What's the most rational animal on the planet?
The pig.
What are the benefits of incoherence?
Sequoia
05-06-2009, 08:09 PM
Getting to have the last word since no one can understand you.
What drives people apolistic?
Synchronicity
05-06-2009, 09:14 PM
Solar flares and AM radio waves.
Why is water reflective?
Charly
05-06-2009, 09:37 PM
It's going to live forever. It has much to ponder.
What sort of house would M C Escher live in?
Sequoia
05-06-2009, 10:16 PM
One in which space time is warped.
How do you shop?
Nemesis
05-07-2009, 01:55 AM
Naked and covered in Jello!
What is the best way to offer a marriage proposal?
Seriously
05-07-2009, 02:15 PM
Naked and covered in Jello. It works for a lot of occasions.
Where is the G-spot?
hauteur
05-07-2009, 02:49 PM
It is in the crease of skin between your left nostril and your cheek.
Can you lick your own elbow?
rvangelder
05-07-2009, 05:33 PM
Can you lick your own elbow?
only if you are female, AND if you can also touch your elbows behind your back.
attempt only in the company of men.
what is the furtherest distance a person has run non-stop?
hauteur
05-07-2009, 07:12 PM
142,259.145950485746372 feet. He would have gone farther but he had to pee.
Where do babies come from?
Porridge.
Where do the wild things glow?
paleoeco
05-08-2009, 11:53 AM
Where do the wild things glow?
On the tips of their peepee dongs. Yes, all wild things have peepee dongs.
Why does purple look yellow when you eat cucumbers?
Seriously
05-08-2009, 12:18 PM
Purple actually is the same color as yellow. Cucumbers contain a molecule that allow you to see things as they really are. Be careful what you look at when eating one. It can get scary.
How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
Synchronicity
05-08-2009, 12:48 PM
32767. There's a reason why, but only the nerds will know it.
Why is there so much grass everywhere?
Seriously
05-08-2009, 12:52 PM
Because the potheads finally started their spread the weed campaign of flinging seeds randomly to the ground.
Why do cats have sandpaper tongues?
paleoeco
05-08-2009, 01:31 PM
From licking the cat litter off their rears after going potty.
Why are turtles called cooters?
Seriously
05-08-2009, 01:43 PM
cooters is the Indian word for turtleneck. Mistakenly translated by Cortez it has never been corrected.
Why are toenails so hard?
Wapiti
05-08-2009, 03:01 PM
So they crunch when you eat them.
Why do bald eagles have feathers on their heads and turkeys don't?
Sequoia
05-08-2009, 03:02 PM
They contain granite dust.
What is granite dust made of?
Wapiti
05-08-2009, 03:07 PM
Bird heads and pickle juice. It makes a cement of sorts.
Why are tortillas round?
Synchronicity
05-08-2009, 04:04 PM
The round shape causes the tortilla's gravitational field to attract the filling to the center, reducing the chance of spillage.
What is the nature of the universe?
Deliberator
05-08-2009, 09:02 PM
The nature of the universe is suspiciously fluffy.
How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
rvangelder
05-09-2009, 03:01 AM
How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
Noone knows, but many suspect it's far more than the current record of 1217 licks.
How many people have walked on the moon?
Seriously
05-09-2009, 09:00 AM
-0- The space program was part of a massive advertising campaign/conspiracy by the Tang Corporation to lure people from drinking orange juice.
How are dust bunnies made?
Synchronicity
05-09-2009, 09:11 AM
Well, you see, when two dust bunnies love each other very much...
Why are flowers considered good romantic gifts?
Seriously
05-09-2009, 09:22 AM
Mammoth tusks were all the rage until several untimely deaths. Then the women voted on flowers instead as their men were less likely to be killed that way.
What makes us enjoy scary things so much?
Deliberator
05-09-2009, 11:35 AM
The adrenaline produced when we experience scary situations stimulates the release of oxytocin (the "do me" hormone, also the "post-sex cuddle" hormone) which causes long-term brain decay, which of course leads inevitably to bliss.
How do snakes mate?
rvangelder
05-09-2009, 12:48 PM
How do snakes mate?
it starts with a high five, then a 500 step version of the tango.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
TravelnTrain
05-09-2009, 02:50 PM
The average woodchuck gets 6 inches of wood.
Why does English have different pronunciations for the letters "ough" in words?
Synchronicity
05-09-2009, 06:18 PM
The change was made in 1943 to fool German codebreakers.
Why do people not wear monocles anymore?
TravelnTrain
05-09-2009, 06:25 PM
We have vaccines now to protect us from those diseases.
Why are some people afraid of needles?
Seriously
05-09-2009, 06:26 PM
Due to a rise in monocle related accidents they were outlawed.
oops
Because of alien probing some people retain a fear of needles.
What happens to the light in my refrigerator when I shut the door?
TravelnTrain
05-09-2009, 06:29 PM
It signals the aliens to abduct.
Why does lettuce turn brown?
Seriously
05-09-2009, 07:18 PM
The aliens living in the refrigerator use it for toilet paper. I know, gross huh?
Is the hokey pokey really what it's all about?
TravelnTrain
05-09-2009, 07:29 PM
Depends on who's doing the poking!
What type of sex is the best sex?
Seriously
05-09-2009, 07:47 PM
it starts with a high five, then a 500 step version of the tango.
Why do they call it French kissing?
TravelnTrain
05-09-2009, 07:53 PM
Because the French invented etiquette.
Where should you place the salad and dinner forks while setting the table?
Synchronicity
05-09-2009, 08:32 PM
In the eyes of anyone who argues with your table arrangement.
How does democracy work?
rvangelder
05-09-2009, 10:36 PM
How does democracy work?
The key of democracy is demo, as in demonstration. Politicians demonstrate values and behaviour, and the general public follow the leader.
How do hiccups start?
Nemesis
05-10-2009, 03:44 AM
With a "shock and awe" campaign!
Why do kids soil themselves?
TravelnTrain
05-10-2009, 05:19 AM
Because everybody knows that money grows on trees
Why do the French like wine so much?
It goes good with their fries.
Why don't more people move to Antarctica?
Nemesis
05-10-2009, 11:10 PM
Because they will fall off Earth.
How did JFK die?
rvangelder
05-10-2009, 11:34 PM
Overdose of KFC
Who is the richest woman in the world?
TravelnTrain
05-11-2009, 05:10 AM
Mother Nature
Why do men scratch themselves?
Its a mating call for the opposite sex.
What is George Bush up to these days?
paleoeco
05-11-2009, 09:22 AM
Running the country. (It's not like Obama is really president or anything).
Why can't you smell the boogers that are in your nose?
Seriously
05-11-2009, 09:28 AM
uumm my boogers don't smell AT ALL. Maybe you need to have a nose check.
Why is 411 for information?
TravelnTrain
05-11-2009, 03:02 PM
Because of a complex mathematical formula derived from 3 different government studies across 2 administrations designed to measure the ability of the average American to remember how to use three numbers instead of O for operator
Charly
05-11-2009, 06:42 PM
Ok well, there doesn't seem to be a question so I can write whatever I want for an answer and it's guaranteed to be wrong. So my answer is because they don't have raincoats.
Why does everyone want to be like Mike? (Jordan)
TravelnTrain
05-11-2009, 06:48 PM
Because Mikey never forgets. Whoops!
What's the best cereal?
Charly
05-11-2009, 07:03 PM
Nails. For Breakfast. Ask the Chavs.
What comes after Thrice?
Seriously
05-11-2009, 09:38 PM
Nothing. Three times is a charm.
Why does Pooh love honey?
TravelnTrain
05-12-2009, 04:18 AM
Because lemons are unbearable.
Which manufacturer makes the best TV?
paleoeco
05-12-2009, 07:08 AM
Frederick's of Hollywood (they actually have cute teddies that will fit over my manly shoulders).
If line segment AB is 4 units long, and line segment BC is 8 units long, and angle ABC is 80 degrees, why does Superman and Spiderman have the same colors in their suits?
TravelnTrain
05-12-2009, 09:40 AM
Combination of focus group segments and Color Watch society influence.
Why do significantly more men than women have some form of color blindness?
Synchronicity
05-12-2009, 10:58 AM
It's nature's way of reinforcing the stereotype that men have no aesthetic taste.
What causes solar flares?
TravelnTrain
05-12-2009, 02:58 PM
Lunar eclipses.
Will Hubble be fixed?
Synchronicity
05-12-2009, 03:41 PM
Only if he tries to have more puppies.
What is the best source of water?
altoid
05-12-2009, 05:24 PM
Martian wells.
Where is waldo?
TravelnTrain
05-12-2009, 06:21 PM
In an undisclosed location.
Since the new Star Trek movie has altered the time line, what will happen to us?
Thirdie
05-13-2009, 03:24 AM
We are more than likely going to be turned to fishscale in order to serve the greater good of Lord Shark's catacombs, while being plugged to a Matrix-like network to "live" foolishly as humans.
What is wine made of? (the process)
ptrout
05-13-2009, 04:28 AM
Wine is made by the head wine maker, who eats all the best grapes, and tinkles into a vat. They let it ferment in the sun for 5 to 6 years, add vinegar to taste, then it is bottled.
What is the best substance to cut meth with.
altoid
05-13-2009, 10:56 AM
More meth, of course!
How do you teach a new dog old tricks?
Synchronicity
05-13-2009, 11:49 AM
Send him into the mountains for a year to tutor under a world-weary St. Bernard who has spent his life perfecting the arts of Canine.
What's the shortest distance between two points?
Seriously
05-13-2009, 12:01 PM
It is variable. Depending largely on how much water you have consumed prior to starting.
Why are teeth white?
Synchronicity
05-13-2009, 01:42 PM
To make sure spinach caught between them does not go unnoticed by others. I'm sure it's an evolutionary... adapted... something.
Why are tasty foods worse for our health?
Thirdie
05-13-2009, 04:46 PM
Because:
T = [Ktongue/(2^n)]
n = 1/(2*pi*D)
Where T stands for tastiness,
Ktongue for sensitivity of your tongue,
n for your rating of the food out of 10,
D for deadliness,
pi = 3,14... (complete the rest)
*argh, laaame*
==========
Why is lava hot?
Hjordis
05-13-2009, 06:24 PM
Because if it was cold everyone would try to turn it into tomato ice cream when it's dream is to become salsa. Duh!
What is pi?
Sequoia
05-13-2009, 06:38 PM
An infinate series of triangles of course.
What is the easiest way to get in trouble?
Thirdie
05-13-2009, 07:15 PM
The easiest way to get in trouble is to buy a bunch of tacos, hamburgers, hotdogs and giving them to the Mohais (huge statues in the Easter Island, not sure if they're named this way) as a sacrifice to honor a goldfish's memory. Afterwards, repeat the same step at Stonehenge, this time to honor the existence of black holes.
---
How to dance Salsa?
paleoeco
05-14-2009, 09:28 AM
How to dance Salsa?
Step 1: Pour 1/2 bottle of Pace picante on the floor.
Step 2: Pour remaining 1/2 bottle on your head
Step 3: Jump up and down screaming "Ay Caramba!"
Step 4: Repeat until you slip and fall
~~~~
Whey are they called "coconuts"? They're neither cocoa or nuts.
SelfInflected
05-14-2009, 09:48 AM
The inventor of coconuts had a cute little poodle called Cocoa. The poor little fella had to be put to sleep after he bit a toddler in the gonads, or: "nuts", as they're called in America.
----------------------------------------
It's not just a coincidence that the moon is in a siderial orbit (same side faces us at all times-- for the 1% of you who didn't know that). How did it happen?
Synchronicity
05-14-2009, 10:42 AM
The moon knows better than to turn its back on us...
Where did all the water on Earth come from?
SelfInflected
05-14-2009, 11:11 AM
Some say that it was brought by extraterrestrials from the Pleaides constellation, as waste, but it's now been scientifically proven that it's Angel pee.
--------------------------------------------
Who invented recycling?
Hjordis
05-14-2009, 03:39 PM
God. The second Jesus was actually a different guy named Bill, but it seems they didn't wait long enough to put a new soul in, and everyone recognized him.
What is a German Shepherd?
TravelnTrain
05-14-2009, 05:51 PM
A person who speaks in tongues while watching sheep
How will Lost end?
ptrout
05-14-2009, 06:55 PM
Bob Newhart wakes up, and say you'll never guess this crazy dream i just had about these people who crash land on this island................
who will be the last man standing ?
Seriously
05-14-2009, 07:04 PM
The last man is a woman. God's mom to be exact.
Why do turtles live so long?
SelfInflected
05-14-2009, 07:10 PM
They have a Flux Capacitor installed inside their shell.
Who put Euclidian Theorms in the Crop Circles?
GrnEyz
05-14-2009, 07:43 PM
The last man is a woman. God's mom to be exact.
Why do turtles live so long?
b'cause their heart rate is 5 beats per minute, they move slow, and burn cells slooooooTo view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
oops.... didn't read the tread title very well... my bad...
Charly
05-14-2009, 09:10 PM
Yes you did read the thread title correctly, and you seem to fully understand how to post another question as well. (Unless I've just answered your question)
Why do people seem to think that no one will look in the freezer for their stash of money cash?
Sequoia
05-14-2009, 10:22 PM
Because no one ever does except when fractals are involved.
What is the most unusual definition of jam?
SelfInflected
05-14-2009, 10:32 PM
To force something into place.
Why should we even bother with traffic laws?
altoid
05-14-2009, 10:36 PM
Because failure to signal makes baby Jesus cry.
What other deities appear in toast?
Charly
05-14-2009, 11:01 PM
the flying Spaghetti monster. Although it usually appears on top of the toast.
can someone please explain the title of that movie "space jam" to me?
TravelnTrain
05-15-2009, 04:53 PM
The Great Blueberry Jam Monster takes out Tilda Tang, the Orange Juice Queen, to rule the Galaxy (and ensure continuing product endorsements)
How does the atmosphere on earth avoid being sucked out into space?
SelfInflected
05-15-2009, 05:02 PM
Atmospeer pressure
Why is it that after 16 hours of no one posting, TravelInTrain and I post on the same minute, and I have to end up deleting my post as to not look like a liar (which I still do)?
Hjordis
05-15-2009, 06:35 PM
magic.
Why did my chlorophyll-free carnivorous plant have to die?
TravelnTrain
05-15-2009, 08:19 PM
Because it ate SelfInflected after he tried to post at the same time as myself...
How can you determine if someone is telling a lie?
ssrprotege
05-15-2009, 08:41 PM
Pray.
How do you know you are travelling in train?
TravelnTrain
05-16-2009, 03:48 PM
No TSA.
Why won't the US convert to the metric system?
Seriously
05-16-2009, 04:00 PM
Because everyone knows the metric system is from the devil. We here in the US are god based. It says so on our money.
Why are y and w sometimes vowels?
Hjordis
05-16-2009, 04:25 PM
They used to always be vowels, but they took up trading and now live a life between the lands of vowels and consonants.
Why can't I kill these stupid ants?
Seriously
05-16-2009, 04:49 PM
Certain chemicals actually act as a type of viagra on the male ant. Being extremely intelligent and horny the queen ant has manipulated people into thinking said chemicals will kill the ants. Periodically they stage a massacre to keep the charade up.
Why are dogs and cats born with their eyes shut?
Hjordis
05-16-2009, 05:02 PM
They're terrified of the world.
Why aren't humans?
Sequoia
05-16-2009, 09:11 PM
They're do dumb to be afraid.
What is a crysthalis?
Seriously
05-16-2009, 09:27 PM
A crystal with bad breath.
What are chicken McNuggets really made of?
Nemesis
05-16-2009, 09:34 PM
Congealed rotten Seagull entrails.
What is the caramilk secret?
Seriously
05-16-2009, 09:39 PM
No one is really sure but it has something to do with Canada, a country no one really knows much about. Except it isn't America.
Why doesn't the coyote ever catch the roadrunner?
Sequoia
05-16-2009, 09:46 PM
It's explained clearly in the Acme book of rules.
Why are blue eyes common?
Seriously
05-16-2009, 09:51 PM
It is a misconception that blue eyes are common. Held mainly by the uniformed and unclean masses. In truth the wide variety and clarity of the blue eye makes it the most unique and sought after eye color.
What is the best light saber color and why?
Synchronicity
05-16-2009, 09:56 PM
Green, because it's easier to blend in with the forests on Endor.
Where do ninjas come from?
ssrprotege
05-16-2009, 10:07 PM
From the Oedipus complex.
The word that Thou art omnipotent, is that a lie?
Sequoia
05-16-2009, 10:37 PM
It is an absolute truth.
Is there such a thing as an approximate truth?
TravelnTrain
05-17-2009, 05:09 AM
Yes, dick sizes on gay hookup sites
What's the best summer vacation spot?
ssrprotege
05-17-2009, 07:52 AM
Ever thought of Underworld?
What's Starburst made of?
GrnEyz
05-17-2009, 08:09 AM
Star intestines...
Why can't the general population set goals ?
Thirdie
05-17-2009, 11:02 AM
It's due to the fact that whales are less numerous in this world.
Why is a bicycle called a bicycle?
Hjordis
05-17-2009, 12:10 PM
There is no logical reason.
What should I eat for lunch?
ssrprotege
05-17-2009, 12:20 PM
Ever thought of rocket squirrels?
What is a true definition of "scientist"?
Sequoia
05-17-2009, 02:29 PM
Someone who deconstructs dust
Explain the myth of technology standardization?
TravelnTrain
05-17-2009, 02:50 PM
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Why do the majority of Americans tell lies?
SelfInflected
05-17-2009, 03:00 PM
Because Americans are busy protecting others' feelings.
Why do they call it "Easy Listening" music?
Hjordis
05-17-2009, 04:12 PM
Unlike other music, it can be listened to while relaxing.
What day of the week is it?
Sequoia
05-17-2009, 05:33 PM
Yesterday.
What will tomorrow be in three days?
GrnEyz
05-17-2009, 05:46 PM
The second day of my 3 day golf/fishing mini vacation.
Who invented the electron microscope..?
TravelnTrain
05-17-2009, 07:49 PM
The Replicators
Why do we need the Hubble telescope?
SelfInflected
05-17-2009, 09:31 PM
Because beautiful Stephanie Benson at 1423 Mavis St. has installed a skylight in her room.
What made the continents split up?
Seriously
05-18-2009, 06:55 AM
They realized they just didn't have a lot in common anymore.
Why does coffee wake you up?
SelfInflected
05-18-2009, 10:08 AM
Because the coffee needs to be let outside so that it can go to the bathroom.
How does an air conditioner cool the air?
ssrprotege
05-18-2009, 10:19 AM
By sucking out carbon dioxide.
What is an archetype?
SelfInflected
05-18-2009, 10:27 AM
It was a kind of typewriter , manufactured in the mid-1800's, that was able to print connected cursive letters.
Why do compact fluorescent lightbulbs contain mercury?
GrnEyz
05-18-2009, 10:35 AM
because jupiter wouldn't fit.
why do you appear to be so ignorant..?
SelfInflected
05-18-2009, 11:18 AM
It runs in the jeans.
Why does one project?
Sequoia
05-18-2009, 02:38 PM
In order to propel.
What's the most effective propeller?
GrnEyz
05-18-2009, 03:40 PM
Dark Matter.
Why are you consumed with the opposite sex..?
Sequoia
05-18-2009, 06:44 PM
Because they are such a fascinating alien species.
Why are you consumed with sex?
SelfInflected
05-18-2009, 08:02 PM
Because sex is a must if one wants to become intelligent.
Where did the phrase "Sex on the Brain" come from?
ssrprotege
05-18-2009, 08:37 PM
When Oedipus killed his father.
What does Freud say in Moses and Monotheism?
Sir Paul
05-18-2009, 11:30 PM
That he wanted a cigar, Cubin nonetheless.
Why is a chicken?
rvangelder
05-19-2009, 02:34 AM
Because of the road.
Why does it take 8.3167548616 minutes (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) for light to travel from the Sun to Earth?
Sir Paul
05-19-2009, 04:10 AM
Because it takes 8.3167548616 hours for heavy to travel the same distance.
Why does the plastic bit on the end of a pen, having no flavour, always tempt me to chew on it?
GrnEyz
05-19-2009, 04:30 AM
Because you're a plastivore.
Why is Juan Valdez the poster child for the coffee industry..?
SelfInflected
05-19-2009, 08:18 AM
Because you got to like that ass.
How does the Moon cause tidal forces?
Synchronicity
05-19-2009, 08:20 AM
The sheer affection the moon feels for our oceans draws them together, hoping that one day perhaps they will at last meet and share their love forever...
Where do the moon's craters come from?
ptrout
05-19-2009, 08:26 AM
Zits, as a teenager, the moon popped its zits due to OCD.
What is moon made of
SelfInflected
05-19-2009, 08:42 AM
Methylenedioxymethamphetamine with a touch of parmesan.
Why is Pluto no longer considered a planet?
Synchronicity
05-19-2009, 09:17 AM
Because it refused to make its orbit less eccentric, so they voted it out of the solar system.
Why are diamonds so valuable?
SelfInflected
05-19-2009, 12:38 PM
It's because wearing them brings good luck.
How does an airplane's wing produce lift?
Thirdie
05-19-2009, 06:29 PM
There are invisible threads that are linked to the planes, so the planes are carried. Any myth about the plane lifting itself is made in order for you not to grab on those threads and not to have a ride for free.
What is duct tape?
Synchronicity
05-19-2009, 07:15 PM
Tape used to fix loose duct work. Unfortunately, it has no other uses whatsoever.
Why does the sun set in the West?
SelfInflected
05-19-2009, 09:48 PM
Because the Sun likes to look at the western part of Earth before it goes to bed.
What was the reasoning behind making clocks turn "clockwise" vs. in the opposite direction.
Synchronicity
05-19-2009, 09:53 PM
They decided to make clocks turn clockwise because clockwise is the direction that clocks turn. It's circular reasoning. Get it? Circular? Clocks? Oh, I just slay myself sometimes!
Why are there 7 days in a week?
ssrprotege
05-19-2009, 09:58 PM
Mankind wanted to bring luck in that way.
Why 365 days?
Wapiti
05-19-2009, 10:02 PM
Cause 360 makes a circle and that was already taken by math people and stuff.
Why 90 degrees in a "Right" angle?
SelfInflected
05-19-2009, 10:08 PM
In order to answer your question I need to know whether it's 90 degrees fahrenheit or centigrade. duh
What is a hydrometer?
Synchronicity
05-19-2009, 10:12 PM
A device used to detect the presence of the Hydra.
Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
Seriously
05-20-2009, 08:00 AM
Both. 2 black with white stripe zebras can only have a black with white stripe baby but a black with white stripe zebra and a white with back stripe zebra can have either a black with white stripe zebra and a white with black stripe zebra while the white with black stripe zebras can have white with black stripe babies or the rare black and white with white and black stripes.
What makes people think it's ok to drunk dial you late at night?
SelfInflected
05-20-2009, 09:07 AM
DDUI's are usually considered a misdimeanor, therefore prompting little action by the police to enforce those laws.
Why do songs get stuck in our heads?
edit: yeah, I know there's some redundancy there
Synchronicity
05-20-2009, 09:26 AM
It happens when the notes of a song get stuck in your ear canal while you're listening to them. Everyone's ear is a little different, so which songs get stuck in your head depends on the shape of the notes.
Why is ice cold?
Seriously
05-20-2009, 09:28 AM
Because it inevitably forgets to wear it's coat.
Why do fools fall in love?
SelfInflected
05-20-2009, 11:24 AM
They're usually drunk with love, and that's what makes them trip or faint and fall down.
When does one know that their pet loves them?
Sequoia
05-20-2009, 10:22 PM
When their pet slips a love potion into their drink. Otherwise their people would be oblivious.
How does one become a witch?
Put sand between two pieces of bread.
Why do they say there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?
SelfInflected
05-21-2009, 10:08 AM
Big Oil started that rumor in order to get people to chase rainbows, resulting in more fuel being burned / higher profits.
Why does a rainbow form a arch?
Synchronicity
05-21-2009, 10:17 AM
To make it easier for leprechauns to slide down them while evading children who are after their lucky charms.
What causes earthquakes?
ssrprotege
05-21-2009, 10:18 AM
Zeus gets bored of affairs at times and starts playing with the Earth, whether that be throwing, shaking, etc.
Why can't Zeus live without multiple affairs?
Seriously
05-21-2009, 11:36 AM
He's a man.
What is the next step in evolution?
ssrprotege
05-21-2009, 11:44 AM
Reverse-evolution, I should say. We are heading towards -1 here.
Who is Darwin?
Sequoia
05-21-2009, 07:36 PM
The guy that invented popiscles.
Why are cats so stubborn?
ssrprotege
05-21-2009, 07:48 PM
Because they don't like dogs. They have avoided to become like dogs at all costs.
How is this music (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) related to Doomsday, other than the fact that this music is BGM for the Doomsday Zone?
Sir Paul
05-22-2009, 03:08 AM
It has a hex on it, for when 6 billion people hav heard it, doomsday will arrive.
If 11 was a race horse and 22 was 12 and 1111 race, did 22 have 2 win 12?
SelfInflected
05-22-2009, 12:41 PM
Horses don't have to do anything one wants them to, and it's not because they don't want to.
What is the real reason behind movie theatres?
side note:
Why does a rainbow form a arch?
This used to say "an arch". Perhaps this is a mods way of messing with me for not using "an hydrometer" earlier?
Synchronicity
05-22-2009, 03:10 PM
They were originally created, and continue to exist, by the efforts of popcorn lobbyists in the government alone.
Why is breaking a mirror supposed to cause 7 years of bad luck?
Thirdie
05-22-2009, 03:46 PM
Because the Bees' Higher Council said so.
Why is the sky blue?
ptrout
05-22-2009, 04:09 PM
It isn't, its red, you have an eye infection, you really should get that looked at.
What makes Kosher salt , Kosher ?
altoid
05-22-2009, 04:55 PM
The way the salt is killed.
What makes people crazy?
ssrprotege
05-22-2009, 05:17 PM
Rocket science.
What is a rocket squirrel?
Sir Paul
05-22-2009, 05:17 PM
Bread, havent you noticed that psychologist were never required in any given country untill bread was introduced.
Why is the drop bear a more infamous creature than the bunyip?
altoid
05-22-2009, 05:26 PM
Due to poor marketing, the bunyip (aka the red-haired rocket squirrel) never reached the same level of popularity as the drop bear.
Why are bowler hats popular in Bolivia?
Sequoia
05-22-2009, 06:16 PM
Because top hats kept blowing away in the wind.
What makes wonderbread so wonderful?
Sir Paul
05-23-2009, 12:45 AM
The fact that it's a wonder anyone actually eats it.
2 + 2 = 0 ?
Night Runner
05-23-2009, 01:02 AM
No, 2+2=1 - unless you're using Roman numerals. Then it's 1,111. :)
Why does Santa Claus have a beard?
Charly
05-23-2009, 05:19 AM
Because he's hideously disfigured underneath, and he only drinks dry white wine.
If you order the garden salad when everyone is ordering steaks, what does it really say about you?
TravelnTrain
05-23-2009, 01:53 PM
That you're a member of PETA.
Why do some people bite their fingernails?
they do that rather than bite their significant other....
why did the chicken cross the road?
Sir Paul
05-23-2009, 03:57 PM
To push the sole remaining fertile chicken egg to a warm nest, but alas a car hit the chicken and the driver got out took both chicken and egg and fed his familly for a couple of days, thus all chicken kind was rendered extinct... Well at least it was a delicious end...
b, kb, Mb, Gb, Tb... why not mb, ub or even nb?
Night Runner
05-23-2009, 04:06 PM
Because the company that manufactures capital letters is too big to fail.
What do dogs dream about?
ssrprotege
05-23-2009, 04:57 PM
Killing cats.
Why did Macbeth send murderers to kill Banquo?
Thirdie
05-23-2009, 05:03 PM
MacBeth was on crack.
How come would a boomerang come back to the guy who fired it?
Sequoia
05-23-2009, 05:35 PM
There's an invisable string attached to it so when it gets to its furthest distance, it circles back to the beginning. Intercepting that string in motion is lethal.
What's green and very fast?
Amphorian
05-23-2009, 07:56 PM
A turtle, duh.
What makes the sky change colors?
Synchronicity
05-23-2009, 10:00 PM
God likes to redecorate every once and a while.
Where did religion come from?
Sequoia
05-23-2009, 10:05 PM
The head cheif had a very bad nightmare one night and the rest went downhill from there.
What's the best definition of utopia?
SelfInflected
05-23-2009, 10:25 PM
Utopia is a tropical drink that contains lemons, pears, vodka, scotch, and butter.
Why does the 10-keypad on a telephone start with #1 in the upper left corner, but on a computer #1 is on the lower left?
Sequoia
05-23-2009, 10:27 PM
The person who was in charge of designing computer keypads was supposed to match telephone keypads, but was dyslexic.
If computers shrink to the size of a wristwatch, how will people key in data?
SelfInflected
05-23-2009, 10:59 PM
Smurf slave labor.
What is the main cause of Global Warming?
ssrprotege
05-23-2009, 11:01 PM
George Bush's sneezing.
Why is it 2:01am now?
SelfInflected
05-23-2009, 11:07 PM
It's because time is stuck. If you wait a bit, it might change to a different number.
Why in the heck are there 88 keys on a piano?
Night Runner
05-24-2009, 01:18 AM
Because 88 is the sum total of 6^2 + 6^2 + 4^2, duh. :)
Why are there holes in my cheese? :suspicious:
Blissful
05-24-2009, 01:42 AM
The swine flu got to it
Why can't I reach into my computer screen?
the pixels won't let you. they would let Peter Pan, though....
why would anyone WANT to reach into their computer screen?
ptrout
05-24-2009, 03:31 PM
For the boobies, delicious boobies that jiggle on the other side.
Boobies (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)
What do pixels taste like ?
Synchronicity
05-24-2009, 07:45 PM
Depends on whether they're 16 bits or 24 bits. 16s taste like strawberries, 24s taste like induced current.
Why do we have hair on our heads?
ssrprotege
05-24-2009, 07:49 PM
God put some of those in your heads so that you can pull those off whenever you are under stress.
Why do we have five fingers?
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