I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game

[rwyatt365]

Just for Synamon!!

This thread exists only at the extreme pleasure of the admins and moderators. It is only though our divine tolerance that we deign to allow its continuance. You may proceed. :crowngrin:

Why are my feet wet?!!

[curiousjane]

Because you just peed yourself while laughing at your own wit. :cry:

Why is rwyatt scowling at me?!

[Synamon]

Ego much, he's not scowling at you, he's scowling at me since I made him pee himself and get his feet wet.

Why am I still in my pjs?

[rwyatt365]

Because I invaded your house and walked all over your newly laundered clothes with pee-stained feet! Mmmmmm, fresh!

How did I get to Canada so quickly?

[Synamon]

You pointed your car south and just kept driving of course.

Why did I ever start posting in this thread?

[curiousjane]

You pointed your car south and just kept driving of course.

Why did I ever start posting in this thread?

Because Papa Smurf told you to.

Why am I so happy to see my pet threads ressurected? :lovestruck:

----

Slight revision. Because Papa Smurf said so? :suspicious:

[Synamon]

Because you hope your pets breed making even more little pet threads.

Why did dinosaurs die?

[rewhu]

Because of the shame. The terrible, terrible shame.

Why are my fingers so pruney?

[Synamon]

They are pruney Tom Thumb because you put them in the plum pudding of course.

Why is it raining?

[ElstonGunn]

Why is it raining?

Because, being that it's now June, it's officially within the three-month period that Canada isn't required to drop all of its precipitation in the form of snow.

Why douesn't Canada knouw houw to spell wourds without unnecessary U's, eh?

[Synamon]

Because the letter U is the sexiest one in the alphabet so we use it as much as possible. And pronounce it proudly in words like out and about.

Why did Elston jump off the cliff?

[Elfrun]

Embarrassment of lack of U's, they all feel it eventually.

There's one question I've been meaning to ask for sometime but I wanted to make sure I'd recieve an appropriate answer, the knowledge around here has astounded me. So

What is the meaning of life?

[Synamon]

3!

Do these jeans make my ass look fat?

[curiousjane]

Ummm ... read The Compleat Idiots Guide to the INTJ (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) for the right answer to this one. The wrong answer is ... 3!

3?

[Elfrun]

*awe* 3. It is both the answer and the question.



Why do people say I'm like a bull in a china shop when I'm not a bull and I've never been in a china shop?

[Synamon]

No it is not free if you break it.

Is the world flat?

[hauteur]

Yes, but it's octagonal.

What's that smell?





hauteur added to this post, 3 minutes and 5 seconds later...

*awe* 3. It is both the answer and the question.



Why do people say I'm like a bull in a china shop when I'm not a bull and I've never been in a china shop?

Because you're actually Chinese and in a bull shop.

If I dig a hole straight down, can I get to china?

[Synamon]

D'uh of course you can, send me a post card, and since the world is flat (and octagonal) it won't even take very long.

Why do birds sing?

[Elfrun]

Cause people wouldn't like them much if they croaked, it's a survival mechanism, we think they sound lovely so we leave them alone. They're a lot smarter then we give them credit for.



How does one catch a falling star then put it in their pocket?

[rwyatt365]

Falling stars are typically caught using the Rawlings Model FS832 "Falling Star Special" catcher's mitt. Only two have ever been produced; one in 1907 for Ivan Trsinvovich, and the other (currently on display at the Rawlings factory) in 1974. The "Trsinovich Special" (as it is often referred to) was used in a failed attempt to catch the Tunguska meteorite. Ivan's body was never found.

Why do women worry if their butts look big, and then wear clothes that accentuate their butts?

[phantasma]

Because women don't know who to appeal to anymore, and this confusion has turned them into hypocrites.

Why are so many people disillusioned about the state of the world?

[curiousjane]

World? State? Disillusioned?

What are you talking about? And what do you mean we aren't in Utopia?

Whoooooo ... are you .... who-who. Who-who?

[rwyatt365]

A member of CSI-Detroit, moonlighting as a roadie for The Who.

Is it mandatory for every female cast member of CSI-Miami to show cleavage? (and who do I see to apply for a position in Wardrobe?)

[Synamon]

Yes, it is written into their contract. The contracts were prepared by the same law firm who handled Baywatch. Somehow swimsuits were accidentally omitted though.

Why do people sit home with no life watching reality tv?

[Elfrun]

That's a rhetorical question isn't it!


That is a rhetorical question, isn’t it?

[rewhu]

Yes, except there are no rhetorical questions only rhetorical answers. So, no then. Definitely not.

Where is Axl Rose right now, at this very moment?

[hauteur]

Taking a dump at McDonalds.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

[curiousjane]

I think the gopher and Mr. Norris are worn out from deja vu by now, considering they've already both had turns at this

here: To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
and here: To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Would you care to have another chuck at it? ;)

[hauteur]

Aw crap.

Who fought in the Spanish-American war?

[Elfrun]

Duh, Spanish Americans of course!



Why do all the fun and games around here start after I need to go to bed?

[curiousjane]

Because you live in the Land Up Above.

(Oh, wait. That's Canada. ;))

Why do you have to go to bed at such inconvenient hours?

[phantasma]

because a loss of consciousness is inconvenient too.

Are you totally content?

[Synamon]

Yes.


What kind of cheese is the moon made of?

[Elfrun]

Green cheese silly, our atmosphere just make it look less greenish.



What is the purpose of time?

[rwyatt365]

The purpose of time is to cause sentient beings to purchase watches. Time was invented by the Timex Corporation 15.2 billion years ago (actually, it was in last Tuesday, but since they invented time they can make it be "whenever" they want it to be) and, since then, they have been selling watches across the universe.

Why am I so hungry?

[ElstonGunn]

Because you're a country located in southeastern Europe. The capital of you is Budapest. When you refer to yourself, it's always "Magyar this" and "Magyar that."

Is it safe?

[curiousjane]

Absolutely. Go for it.

Are you sure?

[ElstonGunn]

I'm quite sure, but I guess there's always the chance that I could be wrong.

You talkin' to me?

[Elfrun]

No one's talking to anyone and no one saw anything either, and don't forget that.



Why does 'what happened on [inset occasion ie holiday] stay on [occasion]?

[curiousjane]

Because otherwise it would follow us home, and the we'd have to feed it.

Where does a compass point?

[rewhu]

Yeah I'm talkin' to you. I'll skip the obvious and assume that, no you don't have a problem with that.

Who would win in an all out brawl - Garfield or Heathcliff? FYI, street rules apply.





rewhu added to this post, 0 minutes and 49 seconds later...

Whoa, I'm on a serious delay. Sorry about that.





rewhu added to this post, 5 minutes and 54 seconds later...

It points directly to the gates of hell. Due south or wherever the nearest Wal-Mart is.

If I have three plastic cups and you have two plastic cups do we have enough cups to play beer pong?

[ElstonGunn]

Where does a compass point?

To the center of the circle that you're drawing with it.


Who would win in an all out brawl - Garfield or Heathcliff? FYI, street rules apply.

Garfield. He was the preisdent of the United States. Heathcliff was just that loser from Wuthering Heights.

Do you feel luck? Well? Do ya, punk?

[Elfrun]

:suspicious: yes I do, I really do.



Why do I keep repeating the same sentence when I type?

[rwyatt365]

Because you were bonr in an echo chmber and that is your natural mode of speaking. (...of speaking).

Why does 1+1=2?

[rewhu]

It doesn't. According to Ace Frehley:

"One plus one, is one
I know it's crazy but it's true
One plus one, is one
And that one is me and you!
It's mathematics...Oh Yeah!
Ow! Come on baby!"

Whatever happened to Baby Jane?

[hauteur]

She grew up to be married 41 1/3 times. She was recently crowned miss Harlequin Trailor Court Queen 2008.

Is it possible to lick your own elbow?

[Elfrun]

Nope, but I can lick other peoples.



Exactly how long is the road to Tipperary?

[Synamon]

It is paved with 93 yellow bricks exactly.

How many keys are in my pocket?

[curiousjane]

None. Only lint.

Why is LOST so addicting that I'm watching the first season for the third time?

[Synamon]

Because it is so mindless that you've forgotten all that happened in the first two seasons, it is scrambling your brain, turn it off, save yourself. (oh wait this is supposed to be the wrong answer game)

Revision: Because the guys on it are HOT!!! (hmmm still not wrong)

Revision 2: Because you crave being all alone on a deserted island. (you aren't INTJ so that is wrong right?)

Why is there lint in my pocket?

[azelismia]

Because it is so mindless that you've forgotten all that happened in the first two seasons, it is scrambling your brain, turn it off, save yourself. (oh wait this is supposed to be the wrong answer game)

Revision: Because the guys on it are HOT!!! (hmmm still not right)

Revision 2: Because you crave being all alone on a deserted island. (you aren't INTJ so that is wrong right?)

Why is there lint in my pocket?


because the invisible pink unicorn that lives in your pocket pooh's lint. it's the only proof of existence known for these rare elusive creatures.

I wishes to have the means for instanteous travel, Can has?

[hauteur]

Yes, but it scrambles your ability to use languge. :)

Who framed Roger Rabbit?

[Synamon]

Colonel Mustard in the Library with the Candlestick.

What is the temperature of absolute zero?

[hauteur]

42

What does teen spirit smell like?

[Synamon]

Sweat socks.

What are Barbie's measurements?

[hauteur]

48-14-62

If nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to the pan?

[Synamon]

Glue silly.

Do they make glue from horses?

[hauteur]

They used to, but it was too hard to squeeze the horses into the bottle.

What is a flux capacitor used for?

[Synamon]

To capture the flux which is then used for toothpaste. 4 out of 5 dentists recommend flux to their patients.

Why is your avatar staring at me?

[hauteur]

Because it wants your lollipop.

What flavor lollipop is it?

[Wapiti]

Bacon.

Why did I buy that crap I'm never going to use?

[hauteur]

Because a home just isn't a home without unreasonable amounts of useless clutter

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, why are there locks on the door?

[Synamon]

So the armed robbers can barricade themselves inside during a robbery.

Why do banks have a service charge for everything?

[hauteur]

Because banks are honorable and respectable institutions.

Whyy amam I ttwitching after ttypping that?

[Synamon]

Because you are sobbing uncontrollably, you wanted to go into banking but your father made you play the flute instead.

Why am I still in this thread?

[hauteur]

Because you think my tractor's sexy

Do you know the muffin man?

[ssrprotege]

Because you are sobbing uncontrollably, you wanted to go into banking but your father made you play the flute instead.

Why am I still in this thread?

Because you are eating cinnamon (or synamon?)!

Why do I want to act like an ESFP?

[Synamon]

Hmmmm a two-fer. The muffin man is an alias for James Bond, 007 so everyone knows him and protege is bored because he doesn't have a tractor.

Why do people do drugs?

[hauteur]

Because they have had to deal with us INTJs

Why couldn't they put humpty dumpty back together again?

[Synamon]

Because after he cracked up emotionally he tried to bite anyone who got close.

Why does ice float?

[anul]

Because ice is pretentious and thinks of itself above lowly water.

Is underwear really all that necessary?

[Synamon]

Yes, otherwise the Victoria Secret models would be naked, and that would be disgusting.

Why am I craving bacon?

[ssrprotege]

Yes, otherwise the Victoria Secret models would be naked, and that would be disgusting.

Why am I craving bacon?

Because you are thinking of Francis Bacon?

Why did I say this?

[anul]

Bacon is essential to a fruitful life, and the defeat of communism.

But what about the non-Victoria Secrets models?

[rwyatt365]

Those models don't wear underwear because their bodies are too small and it always falls off...no, wait, that's the right answer.

All models originate from the planet Malnutritionia in the galaxy Skinnyopea. The fled to Earth to escape their arch-rivals, the Carbo people, who flung themselves mercilessly at the Malnus (as they call themselves) mouths and forced the Carbos to be eaten. On Earth, Carbs (the Carbo's weaker relatives) are unable to leap as far, and so the Malnu's are safe from exploitation. They have found a fascinating new career in modeling.

How much is Penny Lane worth?

[Elfrun]

Duh... a penny :suspicious: c'mon, why else would it be called Penny Lane? Seriously?


No seriously, why?

[rwyatt365]

Because, adjusting for inflation and the conversion to the Euro should have affected the valuation of the street in some way. I mean, even the Brit's wouldn't let a place like that devaluate.

Would they?

[Jane]

Wouldn't they?

[Synamon]

They would.

Do people ever escape from this addictive thread?

[Moriarty]

People sometimes escape, but only with the help of Kurt Russell. When you need to escape, it's time to send in The Snake.

Why are deserts so barren, and what's up with all that salt residue everywhere?

[Synamon]

Your desserts are barren because you forgot to put Cool Whip on top, yeesh. Salt? you don't want to be putting salt on your dessert, what were you thinking? Try a sprinkling of almonds instead.

Why do earthworms exist?

[Elfrun]

To keep bookworms company.


What would possess an otherwise sane individual to 'drunk' post?

[Wapiti]

This thread is easy, once again the answer is bacon.

Why does bacon solve so many issues?

[Synamon]

Because all issues are the result of low sodium. Bacon contains high levels of sodium and therefore can be used to solve just about anything.

Why am I still here?

[rwyatt365]

Because your sodium deficiency is relieved by the abundance of bacon here.

Why do bookworms need company?

[Wapiti]

Because if you eat just one, you won't get the full flavor effect. They must be consumed in mass quntity to also reap the health benefits.

Why can't I turn off gravity at will?

[Synamon]

Because you have no willpower. That's what eating all that bacon will do to you.

Why do I have to go to the bank to get money? They let me pay bills online, why doesn't money just spit out of my DVD drive on my computer?

[ssrprotege]

Because you have no willpower. That's what eating all that bacon will do to you.

Why do I have to go to the bank to get money? They let me pay bills online, why doesn't money just spit out of my DVD drive on my computer?

Because banks don't exercise their fantasy enough! ;)

Why do I want to act like an ESFP? I am wondering!

[Elfrun]

Oh, wicked, you're ESFP now (almost as good as my type). I'd say the reason you want to act like one is because you're profile says you are one and you're avatar looks too happy to be an INTJ.




Why don't I go to bed when I know I should?

[curiousjane]

Because it is only just early afternoon where all the normal people live!

When is the best time to visit Australia?

[Elfrun]

1.00am, no line up for cabs at that time.


What did they do with the drunken sailor?

[rwyatt365]

He's fast asleep in your bed right now.

Are you experienced? (Jimi Hendrix)

[muguly]

Not really, but I'm Bold As Love.

Where did the bed bug bite?

[Elfrun]

I would like to know your sorce as I'm pretty sure the bed bug couldn't bite cause I was tucked it tight.


Why is the grass greener on the other side? Better yet. Where is this other side?

[ssrprotege]

You are looking at the Platonic ideal world! In that ideal world everything is the best. :)

Why do I love theories and philosophy so much? (Remember, I am an ESFP!)

[hauteur]

Because all the fluff and hot air makes your pillow soft and fluffy.

Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

[Synamon]

I'm pretty sure this has been answered before, but I park on a driveway and drive on a parkway because I hate to follow arbitrary rules.

How many stars are in the universe?

[Wapiti]

<<<1 and a bunch of mirrors.

How many mirrors are in the universe?

[azelismia]

<<<1 and a bunch of mirrors.

How many mirrors are in the universe?


One, they are all part of the same holy mirroryness

Why doesn't my reflection show up in the holy mirroryness?

[ssrprotege]

Because you are not a star :p! Holy mirroryness doesn't care about us humans.

Why did I change my question?

[Jane]

They would.

Do people ever escape from this addictive thread?

me





Jane added to this post, 0 minutes and 52 seconds later...

Why did you change your question?

Because you did.

Why did you ask that for? :P

[Synamon]

Because he wanted someone to sing to him.

What is the difference between turquoise and teal?

[rwyatt365]

About .01 angstroms.

Why did I wake up at 3:36AM this morning?

[curiousjane]

So that the earth's gravitational pull would not be thrown off kilter by the heaviness of your snoring.

Is this new avvy me?

[Metaphor]

Yes. However, it looks like you've just gotten done acting from a horror movie gone wrong.

Why does a man in a magazine right next to me look like Hitler?

[anul]

Because it's Hipler. He's new and improved, and young kids can relate to him.

Why does everything seem so pointless today?

[Synamon]

Because you are writing with the wrong end of the pencil.

Why am I back in this thread??? Aaaaaaaah

[Elfrun]

I willed it.



Why do people question that?

[Synamon]

They forget that you control all our minds. Damn you pulled me back in.

What will I eat for lunch?

[emanon]

You will eat a giant twirly lollipop.

What tea will I drink this afternoon?

[rewhu]

Ginger honey, because it is effin delicious and contains only minimal traces of bacon.

How many frenchmen does it take to launch a poorly constructed cow over a forty foot high castle wall? And no, the answer is not cheese, so don't go there.

[Elfrun]

Cheese? how ridicules, of course not.

It takes 7 trained Frenchmen. There needs to be two engineers to develop and build the cows, one qualified animal control expert to manage the cows, one catapult operator to initiate launching action, one construction worker to build the wall, one general gopher to get lunch and coffee for the workers and a foreman to bark orders.




Why do I frown so much?

[ElstonGunn]

Because frowning is efficient; gravity has an exceptionally strong pull on smiles.

Oh, who was it I saw? Oh, who?

[Synamon]

Because you are an ENFP.

Why does everyone think my friend in my picture is gay?





Synamon added to this post, 0 minutes and 51 seconds later...

You saw an owl, stop whoing it.

[curiousjane]

Because he's not SADD.

If a spoon marries a fork, and they have little sporks ... what happens when a ladle marries a skewer?

[ElstonGunn]

Absolute chaos. Dishes will be running off with spoons, cows will be leaping into lunar orbit, and society will crumble. That's why skewers and ladles should never be allowed to fraternize.

Won't lovers revolt now?

[Synamon]

Gosh yes lovers are revolting, and it's spring so they are everywhere, disgusting.

Where did I leave my checkbook? hmmmmm

[rewhu]

Lover will revolt after Ultra Orange change their name to Mildly Mauve. Oh, and you left your checkbook in my glovebox.

If Spock is to Data as Star Trek is to Next Generation. Then _____ is to Tarmak and Galad at Tanagra.

[Synamon]

Rumplestiltskein.

Why is my checkbook in your glovebox?

[ssrprotege]

Because my car warped space-time so significantly that I sucked your checkbook - and even your car :p

What do you think while playing tetris?

[rwyatt365]

Tetris and thinking are mutually exclusive acts.

Why is Synamon so hot (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)?

[emanon]

Because the cinnamaldehyde creates a spicy aromatic flavor.

How many pecks are in a bushel?

[Elfrun]

None, that's illegal around here.



Why is my mind blank?

[Synamon]

Because you've spent too much time in this forum, oh crap that's the right answer, because no one has finger painted on your mind yet, that's why it's blank.

Why is rwyatt wallpapering his garage with my not gay friends picture?

[rewhu]

Because the manufacturer stopped producing the roll with the other picture, the one with your friend who is gay.

Why does my coworker have such terrible penmanship?

BTW - Trinity, your response to my last question was hilarious.

[Elfrun]

*ego swells, blush appears, 'nice list' produced, rwehu added*

The answer to your question is deeper then one may suspect. It relates to the traditional definition of the word penmanship. You see, when you break it down you get three distinctive words being pen, man and ship, traditionally this was the title given to the log master on a ye olde ship. Now that right there is a problem as people seem to think it means expert writing, this is not the case, read the old logs if you require proof. If your co-worker is not employed in this capacity then it is only fitting that they have 'terrible' penmanship. I suggest you stop dwelling on it.



Why is the emoticon that represents embarrassed misspelt?

[Synamon]

To save valuable forum space one of the r's was omited. Please use single leters where posible throughout the forum to save space people, no ned for al those double leters. Al help is apreciated. Thank you in advance for your coperation.

What color should I paint the wall in my guest room?

[emanon]

You should wallpaper it with pictures of one of rwyatt's nebulously gay/not-gay friends.

Why am I still on here instead of working?

[rwyatt365]

Paint the wall the color of the sunset on Altaris IV after passing of the new moon.

Why do I feel sick?

[Synamon]

Paint the wall the color of the sunset on Altaris IV after passing of the new moon.

Why do I feel sick?
You should wallpaper it with pictures of one of rwyatt's nebulously gay/not-gay friends.

Why am I still on here instead of working?

Both good choices, thanks.

rwatt feels sick because he's working and emanon is on here instead of working because he feels sick.

What color is the sunset on Altaris after the passing of the new moon?

[Elfrun]

Why am I still on here instead of working?
Same answer anyone in here receives, sure it's old but you can't avoid the truth. You're here because I willed it now quit ya complaining.


Why do I feel sick?
Out of sympathy to me and the redicular questions I'm having to answer, your concern touches me. Thankyou.




Why is 'Indubitably' such a cool word?

[Synamon]

Indubitably is a cool word because it was coined in the high Arctic. In-dub-itably loosely translates to rubbed with whale fat.

Why do I keep posting simultaneously?

[emanon]

What color is the sunset on Altaris after the passing of the new moon?

The same color as the sunrise after the passing of the old moon.


Why do I keep posting simultaneously?

Because you have an obsession with the word simultaneously.

Why am I having so much difficulty ending questions with question marks today.

[Synamon]

Because today you are only thinking in answers.

Will you sign my petition to remove my picture from the Member's picture thread?

[ssrprotege]

Because today you are only thinking in answers.

Will you sign my petition to remove my picture from the Member's picture thread?

Sure, if I can invent an original way of 'signing' without doing anything. :)

Why can't Synamon leave this thread?!

[Synamon]

Because this thread has 8 legs like an octopus and won't let go.
And Trinity willed it.

How can we break Trinity's will?

[Elfrun]

You can't so don't try and stop talking about it I do not want a rebellion



Why do some fish 'fly'?

[ssrprotege]

Fish just "know" Purgatory and want to get out of Purgatory - they, despite low IQ, just 'know' it, why not?

How can I feel my psyche gravitated towards the mystic region (just like Earth's gravitation :))?

[rewhu]

Call upon your half Betazoid ship's counselor and have her "sense" it for you.

What song is this: da da da daaa, da da daaa, da da da duh da da da da daaa?

[Synamon]

Beethoven's Fifth.

Aaaarrrrrgggg lured back into this thread. Does this thread have a high gravitational pull?

[anul]

Because it's filled with fat people.

How does Tim Allen still find work!?

[Elfrun]

He is a master blackmailer. I can say no more. Let's never mention this again.


Why do some people with the name Richard willingly allow others to call them Dick?

[rwyatt365]

Because "certain people", because of their obvious physical limitations wish to have attention drawn to them by referring to said limitation.

Why is it cloudy today?

[Synamon]

Because the sun is on holiday in the south of France. It will be back Monday.

Why does the wind blow?

[ChrisM]

Temporal thermonucleonic radiation emanating from earth's ionosphere.

Why are yawns contagious?

[Synamon]

Yawns are contagious because of the release of narcissistic pheromones to the atmosphere. In the interests of public safety, please keep yawning from spreading by not opening your mouth, thank you.

Who created this addictive thread?

[Elfrun]

It was not created, it always was.



Why is every light in my house on?

[anul]

It's a diabolical plot to melt the ice caps!!

Is there a greater nut than the pistachio?

[Synamon]

Yes the almond is the superior nut, it contains higher levels of 'good for you stuff' than any other nut. (and it's my favorite)

Is there a more useless waste of time in the entire universe than this thread?

[Elfrun]

No, all other threads including this one (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) are less stoopid and time consuming.



Why is tomato referred to as a fruit but stored in the vegetable section of the supermarket?

[Synamon]

Because tomatoes are red.

How do you kill a thread?

[bladeserver]

No, all other threads including this one (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) are less stoopid and time consuming.



Why is tomato referred to as a fruit but stored in the vegetable section of the supermarket?
Because of a petition by the smaller fruits first heard in the law courts (chapter 7, Winter 1987 folio 4573) and upheld by the apellate courts.

Why is wine so quiet?

Damn you Lovie :). By overposting.

Why is wine so quiet?

[ChrisM]

Because tomatoes are red.

How do you kill a thread?

You can't. You either succumb to it's force or gorge your eyes out.

Why is wine so quiet?

wtf? Because it's advertised all over TV. It doesn't want to be too forceful.


Why is LOST so addictive?

[Synamon]

Because all reality television shows are compelling. *rolling my eyes* (it actually hurt to type that answer in)

How long could I survive on a deserted island?

[ssrprotege]

Depends on what kind of archetype you are =)

Is Olbers's Paradox true?

[Synamon]

No it is a fairy tale written by the Brothers Grimm.

Is the plural of paradox paradise?

[ssrprotege]

No, the plural will be the Inferno because majority will find their brain numbed when a bunch of paradoxes are accumulated.

Is the singular of the Inferno paradox? (Don't say yes just based on my answer!)

[Wapiti]

Obviously not. The clear answer is yes based upon the fact that you said not to say yes based upon your answer so you invariably asked a question which you clearly know the answer to which is counter productive to this whole thread thus proving the theory that there is a clear and definite answer to even the most ludicrous of questions.

Am I in a paradox or a pair of socks?

[ssrprotege]

Obviously not. The clear answer is yes based upon the fact that you said not to say yes based upon your answer so you invariably asked a question which you clearly know the answer to which is counter productive to this whole thread thus proving the theory that there is a clear and definite answer to even the most ludicrous of questions.


Whoa, that was a complex syntax...:thinking:


Am I in a paradox or a pair of socks?


You are in neither; you are in Tartarus.

Do you think Orpheus met (or will meet?) Eurydice in Hades' world?

[Synamon]

Yes and they rode off into the sunset on rwyatt's motorcycle.

Am I wearing socks?

[Wapiti]

Yes, you are wearing a sock on your left hand because you like puppets - your best friend.

Why do all my socks have holes?

[ssrprotege]

Because your zany socks have eyes and a nose, but they are not happy with the absence of mouth.

Why do I particularly love the Rhyme Time category in Jeopardy!?

[Synamon]

Because you have a crush on Alex Trebek and swoon when you hear him say rhyme with his sexy Canadian accent.

What is the name of my sock puppet?

[Wapiti]

Busta Rhymes......

Why do you like rap so much?

[Synamon]

Because rap reflects all that is honorable and pure in our society, especially the very moral Gansta Rap.

Why me?

[ssrprotege]

you happened to be misidentified as Hillary Clinton.

Is John McCain's psyche identical to Geroge Bush's?

[ChrisM]

Most certainly yes. Actually George Bush is John McCain and visa versa due to a vulcan mind meld 10 years ago. They agreed on some differing policies to avoid detection.

Edit: lets see if we can revive this..


Would it be wise to purchase parachute pants?

[curiousjane]

Yes. Then you could cut them up and patch all of whyme's hole-y socks.

How long should I wait?

[ChrisM]

One leap second (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).

Really? (my question)

[Synamon]

Yes really.

Why?

[ssrprotege]

Why?

Really, why?

Well, what?!

[Synamon]

Why not?

Who's on first?

[ssrprotege]

An ESFP.

Where is Jean-Baptiste Grenouille [the main character in Perfume: the Story of a Murderer]?

[Synamon]

He's on second.

Who's on third?

[ssrprotege]

Antoine Richis and his only child.

Can we stop this thread???

[Synamon]

Yes, turn around in a circle three times and chant "Thread begone". Arrrgh you tripped over your chair on the second turn and now this thread is unstoppable.

When will the meteorite that will end all life as we know it slam into the earth? And will that finally stop this thread? :thinking:

[ssrprotege]

Infinite years for me because I am massless now. (And I am typing this using my telekinetic abilities).

Well? (a question)

[Synamon]

Yes, of course we can stop this thread.

All I have to do to stop this thread is not ask a question right?

[ssrprotege]

I changed my mind :p

Question: Where is the centre of the Universe?

[Synamon]

Right here on my couch, yoohoo, it's me, I'm the center of the Universe.

Why are you massless?

[ssrprotege]

I am moving with the speed of light :p

Why can the night sky be bright?

[Synamon]

Someone forgot to turn out the light. The electricity bill this month is gonna be sky high.

Why am I not sleeping?

[ssrprotege]

Because it's just 10:30! (1 hour faster than Vancouver, right?)

Why do people keep second-guessing themselves?

[Synamon]

Because they are always wrong the first time.

Why does ssrprotege know where I live? :huh:

(if I'm never heard from again you will find my body in a shallow grave in the Online party thread and ssrprotege is responsible)

[ssrprotege]

I saw it in another thread...
well...why? I don't know....

[Synamon]

Reports of my untimely death were premature. I am however now in Australia enjoying their holiday and not one hour ahead of Vancouver.

Why am I always such a smartass?

[rwyatt365]

Because your ass has an IQ of 110, not quite as much as your brain, but pretty impressive nevertheless. So, when those construction workers say, "Hey, nice ass!" They're just complimenting your intelligence.

Why are so many people complaining about the heat? (Dammit, in 6 months it'll be freezing again! Enjoy it while you can!!)

[curiousjane]

^hilarious!^

Well, in Detroit they complain about the heat because it never leaves. All that hot, humid mugginess can be stifling. I don't blame them, really. It' just the opposite down here in the Southeast. It's freezing ALL the time. We barely get out of winter when—BAM!—it hits us all over again. Somebody really needs to stop this global warming thing. It's got me all confused. Next thing you know, I'll have to move to Alaska, just to get my sun fix for the year. Grrrr.

[Synamon]

Was there a question in there?

[ChrisM]

And your question?

here's one in the meantime..

Why can't I stand beets?

[Synamon]

Because they are round and therefore will not stand up. Try slicing the bottom off before you try and stand them.

Will I ever be perfect?

[rwyatt365]

Yes, you will be perfect...20 micro-seconds before you die.

Why aren't Goldfish Crackers gold?

[ChrisM]

Purely economical reasons.

Why do men think they're better drivers than women?

[curiousjane]

Because they are. ;)

Why did I forget to ask a question in my own game!?

[Synamon]

Because you saw the photo of rwyatt's leg in the Over 30 thread and forming coherent thoughts after that were impossible. (my heart is still beating fast)

Why is bacon so delicious?

[rwyatt365]

Because the concentration of sodium, fat, and meat by-products achieves the perfect balance and thus is irresistable to humans (and dogs).

Why ask why?

[ChrisM]

Because it's in rwyatt's guide to unhealthy eating.

Why am I wearing sweat pants, and not sweating?

[bladeserver]

Because it's in rwyatt's guide to unhealthy eating.

Why am I wearing sweat pants, and not sweating?
The use of sweat is just a marketing tool. Cunning aren't they? You will find, however, if they are correctly fitted that you should be panting heavily.


Why are balls round?

[emanon]

Once upon a time there was a caveman named Bal who saw his two sons tossing a rock back and forth between them. Now Bal did not want either son to be injured by the sharp edges of the rock so he pulled out his handy-dandy Tyrannosaurus Rex tooth blade and polished the rock until it was round and smooth. (He was also the world's first perfectionist incidentally.) All the neighbours wanted these round smooth rocks for their sons to play with so Bal made more and everyone started to call these round playstones balls.

Should I start building a raft so I can make it home this evening?

[curiousjane]

Yes. And then you should float it down the highway on a million ants.

How is a walnut like the Mona Lisa?

[bladeserver]

Yes. And then you should float it down the highway on a million ants.

How is a walnut like the Mona Lisa?
They both have enigmatic expressions. I mean have you ever really STUDIED a walnut? Very deep.

Are butterfiles free?

[Synamon]

No, they cost $2 each, plus shipping and handling. If you buy in bulk you can get a 10% discount.

When will it stop raining?

[curiousjane]

When the butterflies return.

Where is the best place to buy sushi in Alaska?

[Synamon]

Right down on the dock, and you don't have to pay, all those fish heads at the fish cleaning station are free, help yourself. The entrails are good too if you add enough wasabi.

When will the butterflies return?

[bladeserver]

Right down on the dock, and you don't have to pay, all those fish heads at the fish cleaning station are free, help yourself. The entrails are good too if you add enough wasabi.

When will the butterflies return?
When they gain their freedom.

How much is too much wasabi?

[rwyatt365]

It's scientifically proven fact that there is no such thing as too much wasabi, as it is the sum total of all the wasabi in the universe that is keeping the fabric of time intact. Without it, life as we kow it will cease to exist.

Why is there sex?

[curiousjane]

So we don't have to keep paying people to polinate the cabbage patches. ;)

Speaking of which ... did the stork REALLY deliver you?

[hauteur]

Yes, but the question is...

Did he deliver me to the right place?

[bladeserver]

Yes, but the question is...

Did he deliver me to the right place?
yes he did so you need to apologize to those people previously referred to as "my so called parents".

Why is there a River Wye?

[Synamon]

So the Welsh sheep cannot just wander freely into Britain. Can you imagine the mayhem that would result if they could? *shudder*

Why do I look up things on google?

[ChrisM]

So you can learn cool historical data through the changing google icon. (like the day the laser was invented... sometime in May).

Do bald men use shampoo on their head?

[Synamon]

Yes, that's what makes their heads shiny.

Are you bald?

[ChrisM]

It's subjective - some would say yes, others no.

Can I ask you a question?

[rwyatt365]

Yes you can. The real question is...

May I ask you a question?

[ssrprotege]

Oh, sure. But the real question is:

Am I allowed to forget to ask a question?

[ChrisM]

Sure, but the question remains unanswered. Unless the question had been answered and you forgot the answer to the question you forgot to ask. Unless of course you had no question in the first place. That is an interesting question.

If I ask a question, and no one hears it, what happens?

edit: several minutes later...
...okay. That answers my question. Thanks!

When will we find the answers to our questions?

[Motor Jax]

when the UFO'c finally land with servings of green cheese

what is the meaning of just?

[emanon]

Judges Used Scalar Tools

Why is justice blind?

[curiousjane]

Because the scalar tools are inaccurate.

Would butterflies help the situation?

[ChrisM]

Always. They are excellent situation helpers. They're always willing if the situation wishes to be helped. If the situation declines, they back off.

Option A: "You are electric! ...You are electric?"

Edit: I'll make it optional.

Option B: Can I start my own country?

[emanon]

A: Of course I'm electric. I voted like every good American.
B: Go ahead and start your own country. It's not hard to find followers. As long as you can find a deserted island, Chrismania is good to go.

What will the first official decree of Chrismania be?

[ChrisM]

Wait... [talking to self] this is supposed to be wrong.... [/talking to self]

Okay. This first decree: Chrismania shall be governed by a council of 15.... INTJs. ;)


Am I your favorite?

[curiousjane]

No.

But am I yours?

[ChrisM]

Indubitably.

Would a koala be a good pet?

[Synamon]

Sure, but they tend to be clingy, wrapping themselves around you would be annoying after a while.

Who's my favorite?

[ChrisM]

To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Would you, should you, chould you... have a 'boost (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)'?

(somebody better seen them commercials)

[Synamon]

I would not, should not, could not have a boost because I'm following rwyatt's "Guide to Unhealthy Eating" diet.

Is the grass greener on the other side of the fence?

[hauteur]

Only when you're wearing the Super Duper Deluxe Grass Greenifyer 2000 glasses.

Would you like to buy a pair? They're only $199,999.95

[ChrisM]

No,

but do you have a gaydar7000 in stock? (INTJoe refuses to sell me his.)


Edit.. oops. 2 Q's.

[Synamon]

You are in luck, his gayday7000 is for sale for only $6.99, since it doesn't work, see Member Pics Vol 3 near the end.

Is there anything better on a cold day than a hot cup of tea?

[ChrisM]

gayday? lol.

The answer is yes. Hot, steamy mexican food.


Should we change the rules of this game... make it more interesting?

[bladeserver]

gayday? lol.

The answer is yes. Hot, steamy mexican food.


Should we change the rules of this game... make it more interesting?
Yes a brilliant idea. I have spent the last week preparng the new rules hoping someone would make the suggestion. They are posted in my basement next to the fuse box. If that is inconvenient a duplicate set are stapled to the telephone pole outside.

Can anyone suggest how i can mute the delightful birds singing outside my window each spring morning. Humane answers only please although some feedstuff that mutes would, I guess, be O.K.

[Elfrun]

Earplugs. Throw them at the little buggers.


Why do some birds sound like a dying cat?

[rewhu]

Because cats are the prehistoric ancestors of birds, thus they can still communicate in their ancient shared language.

Why do some people pronounce the word drawer as draw?

[ChrisM]

Only southerners do this. With their higher average IQ, they've figured out that it's better to slur words than to say them with perfect pronunciation. It saves energy, and releases less CO2 into the environment. (I was raised in the south ;) )


If you had double the energy, time, and resources... what would you do?

[curiousjane]

I would waste it all.

Where do zombies go in the winter?

[ChrisM]

Here (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).


What's your point, really?

[rewhu]

Oh. My. God. Best answer ever.

My point is that if Axl Rose were a zombie he's sound like this, "B-b-b-braaains, brains!" (think Welcome to the Jungle).

Who the hell does Kimbo Slice think he is anyway?

[rwyatt365]

I'm really partical to the decimal point, but occasionally I splurge on a full-stop period. I know, they cost a bit more, but I saved for a lot of years to be able to afford a few luxuries.

Why is soda, pop?

[ChrisM]

LOL!! omg.

I'm not your daddy, but soda is because it was invented. Who knows how or why.

Kimbo Slice doesn't think, HE KNOWS. HE KNOWS HE'S GONNA WHOOP SOME MORE BRETT ROGERS BEHIND!!!


Edit: forgot a Q..



Why are the obituaries in the 'life' section?

[rewhu]

Kimbo Slice doesn't think, HE KNOWS. HE KNOWS HE'S GONNA WHOOP SOME MORE BRETT ROGERS BEHIND!!!

HA!!

Obits are in the Life section to remind us exactly how bleak and finite our exsistence is.

Why do old ladies in the grocery store always need help getting a can of beans off the top shelf?

[curiousjane]

They want to check out your backside. ;)

Is it just me, or is it hot in here?

[Motor Jax]

its you... you were standing tooo close to the fire, and now you're aflame!

why do people keep ringing this doorbell?





Motor Jax added to this post, 0 minutes and 45 seconds later...

darn

[emanon]

Because they heard this thread is the place to be.

Where did my $20 go?

[curiousjane]

I ate it.

*burp*

Would you like it back?

[emanon]

Yes. Here's some ipecac syrup.

Where should I put my desk in my new office?

[Synamon]

Over the vomit stain from CJ throwing up your $20 of course.

Where is your new office?

[emanon]

My new office is in the corrupt a wish thread. I decided I'm spending enough time there to set up shop.

Who's ringing the doorbell now?

[Synamon]

Me, move over, we have to share this office.

Why do I want to pet your avatar?

[emanon]

Because arctic foxes are so nice and friendly and not at all apt to bite an outstretched hand.

Why is this day not over yet?