View Full Version : I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game
Reganon
03-13-2009, 06:01 PM
No, but there are space monkeys.
What is the secret ingredient in the soup of the day?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 06:03 PM
ejaculate
What inspires you?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 06:06 PM
soiled receipts
How did they build the Titanic?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 06:13 PM
by sticking skittles together with molasses
What sunk the Titanic?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 06:18 PM
Hansel and Gretel
How do casinos make money?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 06:21 PM
the underground Teletubbies franchise
Who killed the Reaper?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 06:23 PM
Jack the Ripper
What is green and has wheels?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 06:26 PM
a toad pancaked on my tire
What lives under the bridge?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 06:29 PM
A colony of technologically superior ants.
What do ants do with their two extra limbs?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 06:32 PM
Fight Club - first to lose a limb loses
Is this a joke?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 06:34 PM
Well, we are a bunch of clergy in a bar...
Why do people sneeze?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 06:37 PM
because i shoot pepper pills into their noses through a reed
What is hell like?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 06:40 PM
It's like heaven, but everything is low fat
What's the difference between low fat and regular?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 06:42 PM
low fat has cow dung mixed in, regular is laced with cellulite
How many ways are there to skin a cat, and what are they?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 06:51 PM
There are three ways to skin a cat: 1. Use conventional knives/sharp objects, 2. Make it watch a chick flick several times in a row- it should claw its skin off before the second viewing is complete (hint: it takes less time if Matthew Mcconaughey is the star), 3. Send it through the washing machine and drier.
What can you see on the horizon?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 06:52 PM
a chocolate lake
How do light bulbs work?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 06:57 PM
The electric companies hire fireflies to work 2400 hour shifts for less than minimum wage.
What happens when the lights go out?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 06:58 PM
I play :evil:
Why do you deserve your just desserts?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 07:02 PM
Because I ate all of my vegetables
What hides under the Bogeyman's bed?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 07:03 PM
You.
What frightens Casper the friendly ghost?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 07:06 PM
His In-Laws
Who is Casper's wife?
Bobert
03-13-2009, 07:32 PM
Hillary Clinton.
Whats at the bottom of the ocean?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 07:35 PM
a massive, nuclear-powered, waterproof fog machine
How does it work?
Sequoia
03-13-2009, 07:37 PM
An illusion. There is no bottom.
Very very slowly.
How do you know that spring is arriving?
Bobert
03-13-2009, 07:38 PM
A right wing and left wing politicain are trapped in a bubble and submerged with a dollar bill. It's a continuous cycle that generates ear steam.
How do people have sex?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 07:38 PM
Reganon sprouts weeds from her ears...people then hump the weeds to have sex.
How do you know when it's autumn?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 07:41 PM
When Nikita starts posting rumors in the wrong answer thread.
What do you get when you cross a Nikita with a parrot?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 07:42 PM
rahdam on acid
Who wants to see that?
Sequoia
03-13-2009, 07:42 PM
All weed humping has ceased for the year.
reganon does.
Fire ants or killer bees?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 07:44 PM
both make delicious popcorn alternatives
What makes them juicy?
Bobert
03-13-2009, 07:46 PM
Killer fire.
How old is Nikita?
Hjordis
03-13-2009, 07:46 PM
flour
4 million
How many venus fly traps does it take to change a light bulb?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 07:47 PM
Old enough to be your grandfather
It takes seven Venus flytraps to change a light bulb- One to change it, and six others to eat all of the flies that are distracting the other one from its task.
How old does that make you?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 07:47 PM
616.6689001
How many watts will it use?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 07:49 PM
13.4
What did they use for light before light bulbs were invented?
Sequoia
03-13-2009, 07:49 PM
Flaming suppers.
How can Nikita keep posting just as I do in a game, unless I am replying to one of hers? (It's uncanny--been going on for a week.)
Nikita
03-13-2009, 07:50 PM
flaming monkeys - they also serve her in the game threads
How do you stop mosquito bites from itching?
Bobert
03-13-2009, 07:56 PM
Lick them.
Where have all the good men gone?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 07:56 PM
Color over them in red pen
They've gone to roller discos!
What is the best place to have fun on a Friday night?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 07:58 PM
they've gone to bat for the other team, you can find them at the Friday night fun place - the local dog pound
You're what?!
Reganon
03-13-2009, 08:22 PM
Surely I'm not the first deceased forum member you've ever met...
What makes dolphins so special?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 08:34 PM
they can open bottles with their noses...hence the moniker...
Are you a mermaid?
Hjordis
03-13-2009, 08:57 PM
No, but I am a werewolf.
Is nikita a banshee?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 09:03 PM
there is a test: slice her left forearm with a silver blade, pour refined gold into the bloody slit, dust the opening with gunpowder, and drop a lit match on it - if she turns purple and makes short work of strangling you, she is NOT a banshee ;D
What's the most expedient method for leveling a rainforest?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 09:11 PM
Have God pour on a layer of hot wax and then rip it all off in one stroke
Why are rainforests so special?
Hjordis
03-13-2009, 09:13 PM
because the rain from a rainforest can be fashioned into a hat.
How crazy am I?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 09:56 PM
5 nuts shy of a flock
Why is there an ink stain on your shirt?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 09:59 PM
It's not ink...
What are you looking at?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 10:00 PM
the newest addition to my -anon collection :evil:
How do you like your cage?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 10:06 PM
It's roomier than the last one, but I'd still like one with cable TV.
What are your plans for said specimens?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 10:12 PM
electricity deprivation for 30 days followed by 300 volts of electricity delivered via electrodes for 30 seconds, then 30 days and 60 seconds, 30 days and 90 seconds...
Are you ready?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 10:20 PM
I think I need to practice
What is better medicine than laughter?
Hjordis
03-13-2009, 10:21 PM
cyanide
Why is the grass green?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 10:22 PM
Because it's reflecting green light from the sky.
What ingredients make up a love potion?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 10:25 PM
onions & week old tuna
On which speed do you blend them together?
Hjordis
03-13-2009, 10:28 PM
1 rotation per hour.
Where am I going for spring break?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 10:29 PM
Tierra del Fuego...and you're going to get some diarrhea del fuego while you're there.
Who invented zippers?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 10:34 PM
Ferdinand von Zipper
Which country will be the first to take over the world?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 10:35 PM
East Timor
Which will be the last conquered?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 10:38 PM
Sao Tome
Where is the Moon hiding?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 10:42 PM
under Hjordis' pants
Where is the sun hiding?
Hjordis
03-13-2009, 10:44 PM
in Nikita's bra
why is the moon infatuated with my pants?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 10:47 PM
it likes hairy things...
What kind of forest is under there?
Hjordis
03-13-2009, 10:48 PM
A lollypop forest.
How is the world going to end?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 10:52 PM
the world's leaders will be reduced to the intellectual capacity of a class of kindergarteners...chaos will ensue while the masses cheer...hey, it's already happening, oh wait, no it isn't...
Do you underline your name when you write?
gestalt
03-13-2009, 11:11 PM
Only when dreaming up plans of world domination.
What would you do for a kit-kat bar?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 11:18 PM
I would give my first born child
What is wrong with that man's face?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 11:18 PM
he got plastic surgery to look like Gestalt
Can it be fixed?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 11:21 PM
I'm afraid the damage is irreparable.
What is the best prize ever won off of a TV game show?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 11:22 PM
a frying pan with teflon
How do you know if the Price is Right?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 11:23 PM
Just ask yourself, how much would Jesus pay for this?
What would Jesus do?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 11:24 PM
toast Bacchus and take a siesta
What wouldn't Jesus do?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 11:27 PM
Star in an Andrew Lloyd Weber rock opera.
What's wrong?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 11:29 PM
the bodies are no longer fresh :cry:
Will you help me find more?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 11:36 PM
No need, I've got extras in my lair.
Which office supplies are the most crucial to everyday living?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 11:37 PM
silly putty (for making copies) and Rogaine (for soothing the boss's fragile ego)
Ding dong...is the witch dead?
Reganon
03-13-2009, 11:42 PM
as dead as any thread Nikita posts in:thinking:
What is the difference between good and evil?
Good bleaches and waxes while evil goes au naturel.
What is the best meal?
Jonathan Brewer
03-14-2009, 10:04 AM
The last one.
How tall am I?
Hjordis
03-14-2009, 10:54 AM
2'5"
Why is Jonathan a midget?
Nikita
03-14-2009, 12:47 PM
because you're his father
Who's your uncle daddy?
Reganon
03-14-2009, 12:49 PM
I am.
What are you waiting for?
Nikita
03-14-2009, 12:50 PM
the apocalypse
Who will bring it?
Reganon
03-14-2009, 12:54 PM
The next American Idol
What mode of transportation do you take to work each day?
Nikita
03-14-2009, 12:56 PM
butterfly
What do you gargle with?
Reganon
03-14-2009, 01:00 PM
cement
What are the easiest items to juggle?
Hjordis
03-14-2009, 01:25 PM
Cement bowling balls.
How do people get the idea that I'm male?
Nikita
03-14-2009, 01:32 PM
it's your high pitched voice
Why do you still play with lincoln logs?
doublejava
03-14-2009, 02:04 PM
Because I've used up all the Lego to put up walls.
What is the secret of getting the caramel in the Caramilk bar?
Hjordis
03-14-2009, 02:18 PM
It's actually on the outside at first, but they hire monkeys just to turn all the bars inside out.
Why are pez so addictive?
Sequoia
03-14-2009, 02:52 PM
Because of their secret ingredient, ephedrine.
Why go under the knife?
intellael
03-14-2009, 03:30 PM
Spoons bend under mind control.
Why go to work?
Bobert
03-14-2009, 05:51 PM
For the self satisfaction it provides. They pay me too much. I'd do it for free.
How are you at sex?
Nikita
03-14-2009, 07:43 PM
experienced
How much did your mother pay the hooker for your first time?
Reganon
03-14-2009, 09:03 PM
I don't understand the question... mother was free
What food are they serving at the after party?
Nikita
03-14-2009, 09:07 PM
5 pitted olives stuffed with goat ejaculate and one oyster stewed in bloody vomit
What is your car worth?
intellael
03-14-2009, 09:09 PM
Ha... More than a stealth jet.
Are clouds white?
Nikita
03-14-2009, 09:10 PM
only when the gods are "satisfied"
What is your favorite Bible story?
Goldilocks and the Three Bears
Why is grass green?
Reganon
03-14-2009, 09:14 PM
Definitely the story of Absalom (incest is best)
Grass is green because the worms keep vomiting on it.
Who is Waldo and why are people searching for him?
Nikita
03-14-2009, 09:14 PM
because it's yet to be Exorcised...it has swallowed Waldo the purple sheeple beater, and Waldene is very worried
From what is cashmere made?
intellael
03-14-2009, 09:15 PM
Mere cash
Why do humans wear clothes?
The armpit hair of yetis.
Why does baking bread smell so good?
Nikita
03-14-2009, 09:16 PM
because it is composed of scrapings of rotted human flesh and donkey fat
Why does the king never smile?
intellael
03-14-2009, 09:18 PM
To many Botox injections
Where did the first metal come from?
Nikita
03-14-2009, 09:31 PM
Black Sabbath...you know, the day Jesus was born
What is the function of viagra?
intellael
03-14-2009, 09:33 PM
To protest procreation
What is the value of a dollar?
Nikita
03-14-2009, 09:36 PM
5 orphaned virgins
What is the weight of a gram?
intellael
03-14-2009, 09:40 PM
It depends on the gravitation pull on the planet. In cyber space, no weight.
What is the purpose for charm school?
Nikita
03-14-2009, 09:44 PM
ask Lucky and his elvish friends, they run the charm mafia
How many matches do you have?
Reganon
03-14-2009, 09:45 PM
Several thousand- all with my name on them
What's that I smell burning?
intellael
03-14-2009, 09:47 PM
Flesh...
Being knock-kneed is a B_tch.
Is God crying when it is raining?
Nikita
03-14-2009, 10:05 PM
yes, he cries because you refuse to die slowly
What causes irritation when shaving?
Gamma rays from aliens.
Why do dogs bark?
Nikita
03-14-2009, 10:09 PM
to get to the other side
Who bets first?
intellael
03-14-2009, 10:09 PM
Because trees leave
How does one get drunk?
Nikita
03-14-2009, 10:10 PM
by having only one eighth of one half of one sixteenth
Who bets first?
Reganon
03-14-2009, 11:16 PM
the doorman
Where will this road take you?
Nikita
03-14-2009, 11:51 PM
to the manganese gravy train
How do you escape an armbar?
Wapiti
03-15-2009, 12:28 AM
Crowbar!
How do you make a crowbar?
String 7 crows together and then freeze.
How do you make a cup of coffee?
Hjordis
03-15-2009, 07:20 AM
You put brown playdough into a coffee cup.
What colour is blood?
Nikita
03-15-2009, 05:44 PM
lime green
How are sunglasses made?
Stormy
03-15-2009, 06:00 PM
Throw sand into the sun and hope it comes back.
How does computers work?
intellael
03-15-2009, 06:03 PM
Through telepathic transfer
What is fire?
Nikita
03-15-2009, 06:05 PM
the perfect element to bathe in
Will it work out?
intellael
03-15-2009, 06:08 PM
"It" is being lazy on the rainy day. So, No...
Will my hair turn gray before I graduate from college?
Nikita
03-15-2009, 06:13 PM
It's already gray; it's been gray since you were 14; your mother's just been dyeing it while you sleep.
May I use 2 semicolons in one sentence?
Polymath
03-15-2009, 06:19 PM
No, that would be grammatically incorrect, though you may use five or more if the word "pasta" follows after each.
Where is the tallest building in the world?
intellael
03-15-2009, 06:33 PM
In the land located at the top of the beanstalk
What do animals hear when humans speak?
Nikita
03-15-2009, 07:03 PM
operatic interludes
What was the prelude to the kiss?
Reganon
03-15-2009, 07:11 PM
Kreisler's Praeludium and Allegro
What can you do for your country?
intellael
03-15-2009, 07:18 PM
Be a conformist:an advocate for traditionalism.
Can corn grow in the desert?
Reganon
03-15-2009, 07:20 PM
Yes, if you give it pink vitamin water
Why is the water pink?
intellael
03-15-2009, 07:22 PM
Because the panther bathed in that water source.
Why is the "p" in pneumonia silent?
Reganon
03-15-2009, 07:25 PM
Because words are bigots that like to discriminate against the letters 'p' and 'q'
What does AA stand for?
Nikita
03-15-2009, 07:59 PM
Arithmetic Anonymous...a support group for adults who lack the ability, mainly, to add and subtract...you know, NTs
How will they be taught?
Reganon
03-15-2009, 08:02 PM
Playing at casinos! Gambling is a tax on the mathematically illiterate
What game is the most fun to play?
Nikita
03-15-2009, 08:27 PM
Let's Prepare the Tax Returns!!!
What does "IRS" stand for?
Reganon
03-15-2009, 08:34 PM
Illegal Robot Sex
Where were you on the evening of Thursday the 31st?
Nikita
03-15-2009, 08:38 PM
digging your grave
Why aren't you in it?
Reganon
03-15-2009, 08:42 PM
Because the mole people invited me to dinner a few graves over.
What are they serving for dinner?
Polymath
03-15-2009, 08:49 PM
ur mom AHAHAHAH. ahem.
What's 1 + 1?
Reganon
03-15-2009, 08:55 PM
the Sun
If you are a person, and people taste like chicken, then by the transitive property, what does that make you?
Nikita
03-15-2009, 08:57 PM
dinner
Will you cluck for me?
Reganon
03-15-2009, 09:11 PM
Like a duck
What is your middle name? (Mine is danger;))
Nikita
03-15-2009, 09:24 PM
If-I-Told-You-I'd-Have-To-Kill-You
Where were you born?
Reganon
03-15-2009, 09:47 PM
On a pirate ship, somewhere off the coast of Australia
What makes you happy?
intellael
03-15-2009, 09:52 PM
Everything...
Why do you ask?
thatfox
03-15-2009, 09:53 PM
The act of smiling actually takes less activated muscles than frowning.
How do gasoline engines and diesel engines differ?
Nikita
03-15-2009, 09:55 PM
gasoline engines run on mice, diesel engines grow legs and run on their own
Of what is the indestructible black box on airplanes made?
thatfox
03-15-2009, 09:59 PM
obviously orange paint.
why are some people over seven feet and some less than four feet?
Reganon
03-15-2009, 09:59 PM
legos
People of extreme heights can be explained by falling anvils and descendants of Gumby
What is over the rainbow?
Nikita
03-15-2009, 10:01 PM
wobniars
What is under the rainbow?
Sequoia
03-15-2009, 10:06 PM
lots of mud.
What is at the end of the rainbow?
Nikita
03-15-2009, 10:08 PM
leprechaun remains...scrappy little buggers!
How many kids does the average family have?
Reganon
03-15-2009, 10:14 PM
23
Who died and made you Caesar?
Nikita
03-15-2009, 10:16 PM
Caesar
Who made the remote control?
Reganon
03-15-2009, 10:19 PM
god
What do I have to do to put the world on mute?
Nikita
03-15-2009, 10:21 PM
stop talking
How would you describe the Aurora Borealis?
Reganon
03-15-2009, 10:22 PM
Big, blond, and beautiful
What is it made of?
Nikita
03-15-2009, 10:23 PM
psychiatrists
What are the names of the days of the week?
Reganon
03-15-2009, 10:28 PM
Blueday, Mayday, Pi-day, and Tom
What is tomorrow?
Nikita
03-15-2009, 10:28 PM
Yondro
Who is opening for Britney Spears on her tour?
Justin Timberlake
What is Madonna's true identity?
Maybe to Dream
03-16-2009, 11:29 AM
Dennis Rodman.
What is madness?
Sequoia
03-16-2009, 12:30 PM
Online communities
What's the cure?
Nikita
03-16-2009, 12:53 PM
INTJf, it's impossible to get addicted
What is the picture of the day?
Sequoia
03-16-2009, 02:30 PM
An open photo album.
What's the picture of next week?
Nikita
03-16-2009, 08:01 PM
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Who are the grand dames of INTJf?
callmemigs
03-16-2009, 08:02 PM
Nikita only
What is an INTJforum by the way?
Nikita
03-16-2009, 08:03 PM
a hunting trap set to catch INTJs for the freak show
Are you an IAMS dog?
naw, just el dog.
if 'i ams, therefore i think', will we have fleas?
rwyatt365
03-17-2009, 12:03 PM
Actually, the quote is, "I am, therefore I stink". Given that, fleas are almost inevitable.
If Car A leaves Boston traveling at 73MPH, and Car B leaves Las Vegas traveling at 92MPH, when will the chicken cross the road?
Nikita
03-17-2009, 12:29 PM
when the flying monkey is shot into space with Dennis the Menace's slingshot
Is there a God?
Hjordis
03-17-2009, 02:55 PM
There are 7: Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, Dopey, and Doc.
How many pieces of pie should I eat tonight?
Sequoia
03-17-2009, 05:23 PM
Just one, that's all the pie has if you don't slice it.
How is evidence corrupted?
Nikita
03-17-2009, 06:47 PM
it is open to beer bribes
How is corruption policed?
Reganon
03-17-2009, 08:47 PM
With hot cops!
What did the doctor order?
Nikita
03-17-2009, 08:48 PM
side effects, emphasis on impotence and explosive diarrhea
Who filled the prescription?
Reganon
03-17-2009, 08:57 PM
A group of terrorists who have been trying more creative methods of spreading terror
What will be their next attack?
Nikita
03-17-2009, 08:59 PM
Nascar & the NFL
What is King Kong's religion?
Reganon
03-17-2009, 09:02 PM
King Kong is a member of the religious sect that worships the almighty Feline God Mittens
Where do you shop most frequently?
Nikita
03-17-2009, 09:08 PM
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Wanna make some magic?
Reganon
03-17-2009, 09:11 PM
Only if it involves wands and British accents.
Why are sparks flying?
Nikita
03-17-2009, 09:16 PM
because your pacemaker is malfunctioning
What are microwaves?
Reganon
03-17-2009, 09:19 PM
Microwaves are special mind control devices known for causing hair loss.
What was the teddy bear stuffed with?
Nikita
03-17-2009, 09:20 PM
dimes of heroin
Where does oregano come from?
Reganon
03-17-2009, 09:24 PM
The break fluid of Reganon's car.
What is an electric field?
Nikita
03-17-2009, 09:27 PM
a breeding ground for lightning bugs
Is there milk on Mars?
Reganon
03-17-2009, 09:35 PM
Yes- why else do you think they call it the land flowing with milk and coffee?
What is the only way to kill ants?
Nikita
03-17-2009, 09:37 PM
let them crawl on your tongue while you sprinkle them with cinnamon and shake your buns
What does "bard" mean?
Reganon
03-17-2009, 09:41 PM
It is spanish for a grumpy old man who lives off mushrooms
Where is the secret meeting?
Nikita
03-17-2009, 09:43 PM
the last house on the left
From which port does the chartered ship leave?
rwyatt365
03-18-2009, 06:51 AM
There is only one port, and it's left (or, is that right - I forget).
Why are rain clouds grey?
Nikita
03-18-2009, 07:32 PM
because they're French and grey is the new black, très chic!
(port is the left, right is starboard)
What are the best things in life, and why are they free?
Reganon
03-18-2009, 08:10 PM
The best things in life are hugs and kisses! They are free because of government subsidies.
What will replace money in the future?
Hjordis
03-18-2009, 08:49 PM
Pig intestines.
Why are all my friends insane?
Nikita
03-18-2009, 09:27 PM
because you're their friend
What is the effect of vicodin?
Reganon
03-18-2009, 09:30 PM
simultaneous vomiting and diarrhea
What is the cure?
Nikita
03-18-2009, 09:33 PM
consuming your vomit and diarrhea, it's the only way to build antibodies
How are ribbons made?
Reganon
03-18-2009, 09:44 PM
Raw baby seal skin is imported from Iceland, soaked in sulfuric acid, and then toasted in the Earth's core. Once cooled, the ribbons are ready for use.
What are hot dogs made of?
Nikita
03-18-2009, 09:46 PM
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What condiments do you serve with them?
Reganon
03-18-2009, 09:48 PM
Eel flambe and margarine
What would you do for $10?
Nikita
03-18-2009, 09:52 PM
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What would you do for $10?
Reganon
03-18-2009, 09:56 PM
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
What wouldn't you do for $1,000,000?
Nikita
03-18-2009, 10:00 PM
Smile.
What would you do with a new heart?
Reganon
03-18-2009, 10:24 PM
Break it in by eating burgers for breakfast, lunch, and dinner
How do you break a heart?
Nikita
03-18-2009, 10:54 PM
stroke it with hyacinth blossoms
How do you make a heart grow?
Reganon
03-18-2009, 11:21 PM
Soak it in acetone
What is a spork?
Nikita
03-19-2009, 12:03 AM
Spock's little sister
What is a UFO?
Sequoia
03-19-2009, 02:49 PM
A Universally Fuckedup Objective
When you are warned your printer is low on ink, how much ink is actually left to be used?
Hjordis
03-19-2009, 03:01 PM
Half a drop.
What makes chocolate so delicious?
Bobert
03-19-2009, 06:04 PM
Belladonna.
Why does sparkling wine make your nose tickle?
Nikita
03-19-2009, 08:22 PM
because of the feathers...you know it's squeezed from the necks of falcons, right?
Who killed Kenny?
Sequoia
03-19-2009, 08:26 PM
The woman with the gun.
How does some one live without music?
Nikita
03-19-2009, 08:30 PM
no one does - music is necessary for life - if any person goes for more than 5 seconds without listening to music, a fatal brain aneurysm is imminent
What is the most dangerous creature living in the Indian Ocean?
Hjordis
03-19-2009, 08:32 PM
Bobert, the mutant tomato.
Ketchup or mayonnaise?
Reganon
03-19-2009, 08:33 PM
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Edit: mayonegg
How is the President chosen?
Nikita
03-19-2009, 08:36 PM
by eenie meenie miney mo
How does he choose his cabinet?
Sequoia
03-19-2009, 08:39 PM
By reading tea leaves.
How does he decide major policy?
Nikita
03-19-2009, 08:40 PM
by pulling checks out of a hat - the representative of the chosen donation gets to head to his special "director's couch" and make a "deal"
Who invented the whoopee cushion?
Reganon
03-19-2009, 08:46 PM
Albert Einstein- he was quite the genius
What's heaven like?
Nikita
03-19-2009, 08:47 PM
a lot like Vegas
How do you play roulette?
Sequoia
03-19-2009, 08:50 PM
With green and blue flags.
What is GW Bush's relation to science?
Nikita
03-19-2009, 08:52 PM
cadaver
What is a stampede?
Charly
03-19-2009, 09:18 PM
It's the opposite of a recession.
How can music die?
Sequoia
03-19-2009, 09:20 PM
By placing an ipod under a sledgehammer.
What does bug free mean?
Nikita
03-19-2009, 09:22 PM
that you're no longer under surveillance because you're strapped to the electric chair
Does a juicer juice everything?
Reganon
03-19-2009, 09:35 PM
No, they always use artificial flavorings and food colorings.
Why are humans incapable of flying?
Wapiti
03-19-2009, 09:37 PM
Britney Spears!
Why are whales so big?
Nikita
03-19-2009, 09:40 PM
because the monkeys made them eat their feathers...monkeys used to fly, you know
How big is a great white shark's bite?
Sequoia
03-20-2009, 06:45 PM
3.152 cm.
What is the meaning of spring?
Nikita
03-20-2009, 06:51 PM
spring: to wallow in missed opportunities for bludgeoning
Where is the Taj Mahal?
Hjordis
03-20-2009, 06:56 PM
In the newly formed state of Mahal. It's to the east of Florida.
Where did my passport go?
Nikita
03-21-2009, 02:36 PM
to the left to the left
What's in your sandwich?
gestalt
03-21-2009, 03:51 PM
Peanut butter and pickle.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?
Sequoia
03-21-2009, 07:29 PM
As many as that question can be asked ( and I answered it 3 times now, lol).
What was in the last hamburger you ate?
gestalt
03-21-2009, 07:37 PM
Pterodactyl meat.
How come Sequoia is so mad?
Nikita
03-22-2009, 11:39 PM
because she's off her meds
Who is still on their meds?
Sequoia
03-23-2009, 07:27 PM
Everyone else posting in this thread.
What meds are you taking?
BobetteKyle
03-23-2009, 07:33 PM
Parsley, rosemary, and thyme.
Do unicorns have horse feathers?
Sequoia
03-23-2009, 07:51 PM
Yes, they sprout in order to fly and are shed when they land. They soon decompose and their remains are often mistaken for fairy dust.
What is the best kind of sprout?
gestalt
03-23-2009, 07:59 PM
Unicorn stallions' sprout?
Are pregnant women always so difficult?
Sequoia
03-23-2009, 08:34 PM
No, pregnant women are easy.
Who started that rumor?
Charly
03-23-2009, 08:47 PM
The person who stole the cookie from the cookie Jar.
Should I bother going to trivia at the Pub tonight?
Nikita
03-23-2009, 09:23 PM
only if the green worm fornicates with the red toad on a full blood moon
Is it just me or is that kinky?
Reganon
03-23-2009, 09:24 PM
I assure you there's nothing kinky about corn on the cob.
What's that smell?
Nikita
03-23-2009, 10:31 PM
gestalt's feet
Want a closer whiff?
Reganon
03-23-2009, 10:37 PM
Sure! Is that athlete's foot I smell? Mm-mm
What is the purpose of triangles?
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