I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game

[Harmony]

Evansville, IN... Swear to God it has to be... Nobody gets away for very long.

What really causes cancer?

[Zzyber]

Country music.

Where was that abomination originally conceived?

[rwyatt365]

In Outer Mongolia, as a way to scare Yeti's back into the mountains.

Why am I drinking water even though I feel full?

[Wapiti]

So I would have something interesting to read while at work.

If all rivers flow into the ocean, why is the ocean never full?

[Zzyber]

It's due to a small black hole deep in the Marianas trench. The water goes in and is redistributed back at the top of the mountains. Your basic wormhole effect.

If you were able to enter a wormhole would you end up in the Bermuda triangle?

[Harmony]

Yes, but if you entered into the Bermuda Triangle you would not end up in a wormhole, instead you end up at the North Pole assisting Santa.

Why do blondes get the rep for being dumb?

[Zzyber]

In the Middle Ages seeing a blond was much rarer than it is today. Due to this many people instinctively developed derision towards them due to jealousy. The resulting jealousy began a smear campaign that has lasted until today.

How fast does Santa's sleigh go?

[Stormy]

He doesn't use a sleigh anymore. With the most advanced technology, he is able to create portals in fireplaces, allowing Santa to briskly walk in and out of each house without tediously landing on rooftops. VALVe has also filled a copyright lawsuit in response.

Where did the Easter Bunny come from?

[thatfox]

An Easter Egg obviously.

Why can't humans focus their eyes on two different things at once?

[Stormy]

Human attention span is so short that it is impossible for people to have the patience to focus on two things, let alone look at two things at a time.

Can you lick your elbow?

[Zzyber]

The real question is can you lick your own eyeball?

When you blink do eye faeries pull your lids down?

[Reganon]

Silly Zzyber, it's not the eye faeries, it's the window washers!

Who invented the question mark?

[thatfox]

An exclamation mark that was bent out of shape.

Are we living in the past, present, or future?

[Nikita]

We're in the hereafter, duh!


Are you aware that your fly is open?

[thatfox]

No, I did not know that an eagle flew from your body.

If Australia is down under, who is up top?

[Nikita]

Reganon.


Will you take her Outback?

[kubrickfan]

If by outback you mean nudge nudge and by her you mean austraila. Then yeah I'll my car to the laundramat.

Is it simpler just to eat tofu?

[pocohauntus]

If by outback you mean nudge nudge and by her you mean austraila. Then yeah I'll my car to the laundramat.

Is it simpler just to eat tofu?

Only if you do it on a futon.

Does holly grow on trees or bushes?

[rwyatt365]

Holly grows on the hot oatmeal that her mother feeds her every day (she also has a very clean digestive tract, and a cholesterol count to kill for).

Why is my computer so freakin' slow today?!!

[Harmony]

The hamster is wore out, good God man cut the poor little guy some slack! Maybe if there was more than one he wouldn't be so tired!

Where is Ten Buck Two?

[Zzyber]

Right down the street from five buck one.

When will the rain stop coating the Earth in slime?

[rwyatt365]

When the Martians are good and damned ready for it to, and not a minute before!

Why do I have a headache?

[Harmony]

It's the hamster paying you back for making him work so hard.

Why is a giraffe's neck so long ?

[rwyatt365]

From looking over people's shoulder...nosey giraffes!

Why won't this report update?

[Zzyber]

Because your head hurts. It's a conspiracy I tells ya a conspiracy!

What does the word always mean to someone who is immortal?

[kubrickfan]

Because words are the keepers of souls.

Can't we invent something powered by sponges or saltwater?

[Zzyber]

We already have. It's called government.

What is a diamond made of?

[Ranie9]

Diamonds were created when cavemen spit on the ground...and the dinosaurs stepped on the spit, forcing it below ground level; then the volcanos exploded and the rains came, and millions of years later...we have diamonds.

Is it possible to survive the holiday season sane?

[Zzyber]

Yes but you must lock yourself in a silence bubble so that nothing can get in. (Wait I'm supposed to lie aren't I?)

There are no holidays. What is this that you speak of?

Can a man think like a woman?

[Estelore]

Yes, if he is willing to attempt to run a marathon in stilleto heels while carrying a bag of groceries. But it'll only last as long as he is running, so he'd better think FAST. ;)

What is the purpose of origami?

[kubrickfan]

Imprison souls.

What is the main drive for sucess in the produce world?

[Wapiti]

Interstate 10.

Where do coconuts come from?

[Harmony]

It's a cross between Cocoa and macadamia nuts. At least that's what it was believed to be, when sliced open to reveal that it was white on the inside Cocoa immediately believed that Macadamia nut had an affair.

How is it that some people are so stupid?

[Nikita]

Because the earth could not remain in orbit if it contained both wholly intelligent people and wholly intelligent questions. One had to be sacrificed. The evil lord Xenu strapped the people and their questions to an active volcano and hurled thunderbolts of radiation at the captives. In the end, the questions alone remained intact, which unfortunately meant that though there are no stupid questions, there are in fact stupid people.


Any more questions?

[ClydeB]

Yes. Unfortunately they were in the still in the ruins of the temple of Apollo at Pompeii when Vesuvius erupted. The resin casts of them can be viewed at the Naples National Archaeological Museum.

Am I sitting in the same coffeeshop as one of the other forum members right now?

[Nikita]

The call is coming from inside the house.


Are you paranoid yet?

[Stormy]

Yes, ever since that one time.... *shudders*

What phobias do you have?

[Nikita]

Acidophobia, for which INTJf is the prescribed therapy :p


What kinds of phobias do your phobias have?

[Reganon]

They fear cute, frilly, girly things.

What's the best way to get from here to the Sun?

[Nikita]

Swimming through plasma.


How many years does it take for the sun to orbit the earth?

[Reganon]

Seven light years.

Who is the king of Bhutan?

[Nikita]

Empress Reganon.


Who is his vice president?

[Reganon]

James McAvoy

Why can't more than seven angels dance on the head of a pin?

[ClydeB]

Any higher than seven and they would be ate up.

How many carbohydrates are there in that sandwich?

[Franklin71]

It depends on the phase of the moon.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

[Harmony]

We'll never know because everyone is too damn impatient and keeps biting into it before they are actually to the center.

Why are cat's so darn sneaky?

[ClydeB]

Because humans are so oblivious.

Why are dogs so much better than cats?

[Harmony]

They aren't, that's just silly boys opinion.

Why are movie theaters so damn cold?

[ClydeB]

Because Hollywood cannot create good enough movies to get butts into all the theater seats. So you do not get that shared body heat going.

Why is it that gas prices have dropped. But hardly anything else has?

[aok]

To save the automobile industry.


If you could be a machine, which one would you be?

[thatfox]

An animal.

Why are SSD hard drives so far behind in capacity?

[aok]

Because their hardness makes them inflexible towards higher capacity.


What's your parabola?

[Nikita]

15 centimeters


What's your problem?

[aok]

Paranoia.


What's your solution?

[thatfox]

Russian Roulette

Why is it that we have not started a colony on the moon yet?

[aok]

The moon is made of cheese. It will melt if colonized.


Why was a cartoon dog named Pluto?

[thatfox]

That's where the dog was found by the writers.

Where do pirates keep their ghost ships?

[Nikita]

In the Department of the Interior.


What is the purpose of science?

[Reganon]

It gives the nerds and excuse to claim superiority.

Who actually reigns superior?

[ClydeB]

Pretty much any of them if you consider surface area. Erie, Huron, Michigan,or Ontario. Take your pick.

Is Obama's new 'solar panels in space' idea just another windmill for us to work on?

[Nikita]

Oh Don...


What is the measure of a man?

[BlackOp]

physical scars......

criteria to be deemed a woman?

wrong thread.....:laugh:

[Reganon]

The hosts of men she commands

Whence is the flower?

[Nikita]

Hence.


Be thou forthright or forgotten?

[Reganon]

Both, if I'm not careful.

What is paper made from?

[Nikita]

Scalped kittens.


What are trees made of?

[Reganon]

Mutant broccoli stalks

Why do bad things happen to good people?

[Nikita]

Because good people are really Fallen Angels in disguise trying to earn their way back into Heaven.


Are you a good person or a bad person?

[Reganon]

I'm a people person
(how's that for a wrong answer?)

Who or what is responsible for the phases of the moon?

[Nikita]

Crickets - when they chirp they're telling the moon whether to wax or wane.


Why does the Man in the Moon never talk to me? :cry:

[Reganon]

Because he's unbelievably afraid of rejection.

How can I get some crocodile tears?

[Nikita]

Kill a puppy and enjoy it, then admit the act to Peta and feign remorse.


How much will the crocodile tears sell for on the black market?

[Reganon]

$23 a drop

How can I outrun a crocodile?

[Nikita]

run very slowly in a straight line


How do you skin a crocodile?

[hullolife]

The same way you'd skin a cat. Use a wider machete though.

Where can you buy products for all your brain needs?

[kubrickfan]

Brain-mart. I'd good this christmas, but they're sold out of inteligence.

What happens if you put stupid people together?

[Wapiti]

You form a political party. The next step is to pick out a stupid animal to represent your new found party.

Where do sugar plum fairies come from?

[Zzyber]

Surprisingly they are the offspring of the ugly gnomes.

When Santa comes down the chimney and meets a shotgun does he poop magical crap?

[Wapiti]

Yep, thats what he feeds to the reindeer so they fly.

How far can the reindeer go on a single serving?

[Zzyber]

Oh...about a turd of the way.

When will monkeys start evolving again?

[Wapiti]

2012

Why do ostriches have wings?

[Zzyber]

To confuse passersby into thinking they are palm trees.

Is Apple really run by Satan?

[Reganon]

Only on the weekends

What makes the stars shine?

[Nikita]

Your eyes. :flirt:


Of what is a comet's tail made?

[Reganon]

lanyard

Why can airplanes fly?

[Zzyber]

*Due to the top secret nature of the answer that was given this post has been removed.*

When will pigs fly?

[Nikita]

Because I throw them and I'm really good at folding the paper so they remain airborne long enough to let the passengers think they're going to land safely. grrrr lol

When I've conquered Hell.


How would you make a jet propulsion engine?

[Reganon]

Tie a ceiling fan to the back of horse

Who's the oldest person in the world?

[Nikita]

You are. But it's okay, I won't tell anyone.


Where is the sun from?

[Zzyber]

Monte. That's why he is so good with numbers; he created them.

Pluto. It is a payback for his excommunication.

When will the sun manifest his powers in horrifying ways?

[Nikita]

01/20/2009

Are you ready?

[Zzyber]

And waiting. I have my flashlight out to drown out the brightness.

Will the moon attempt a coup?

[ClydeB]

That depends on what my shaman has foreseen in the bull entrails.

Can you deal with the consequences?

[Reganon]

No, I don't negotiate with consequences.

What part of the human body is most essential to life?

[kubrickfan]

Toes.

Is it possible to concieve of a world without humans?

[Nikita]

Yes, but first you must mate with puppies.


What breed are you?

[kubrickfan]

Part turian, part terran, part xenomorph.

If you were to die tommorow, what would you do?

[ClydeB]

That all depends if I know its coming or not.

What would you do if someone hacked your easy button to make fart noises instead?

[rwyatt365]

I would thank them profusely for providing such a charming diversion to the boring, hum-drum atmosphere that pervades todays office spaces. Then we would all go out to lunch and take turns pressing the button to the delight and amusement of all onlookers.

How can I recover from writing such drivel?

[ClydeB]

There's a tall mountain in Kansas that overlooks a secluded valley. In that valley is a small stream. You will find what you seek near where the stream disappears into the mountain.

How can I recapture the Christmas magic that is no longer in my heart?

[Zzyber]

You have to repeatedly punch yourself in the junk whilst watching A Nightmare Before Christmas.

Is there such a thing as a Happy Holidays?

[ClydeB]

Only when you celebrate "duelo de la muerta"
And lose.

Will this day ever end?

[Wapiti]

No.

How do you drown a clown in a teaspoon of water?

[Nihilum]

Yes.

Will "The Never-Ending Song" ever end?

[Zzyber]

By using it as a club to knock them into a sand trap.

Why do you want a camera so bad?

[mplogue]

Home-made porn.

What kind of medicine do you use if a wild monkey bites you on the ass?

[ClydeB]

Depends on the species of monkey and which ass cheek.

How many icy bridges must you cross before you become a man?

[Zzyber]

The same amount of burning ones you must pass before becoming a woman.

How will you know it is time to use the L word?

[ClydeB]

When 'the shitter' is too blunt for some people.

Can you tell me where the Lavatory is?

[thatfox]

Consult the aletheometer.

How do they get transmissions from other planets.

[Nikita]

Intergalactic flatulence.


In what do you store the acid that can eat through anything?

[thatfox]

Any container that is not made of the "anything" substance.

Why are some substances non-biodegradable?

[ClydeB]

They have gotten over their eco friendly self esteem issues.

How big of a fire does it take to ward off Ole St Nick?

[auriga vega]

As big as the ant wants to make.

Why don't ants have heads?

[ClydeB]

If they did they would be uncles.

How much drama can one phone call be?

[Zzyber]

It depends on the ratio of phone to mama.

Can you catch a hawk with your bear hands. (hehe bear hands)

[Reganon]

Yes because bears fly faster than hawks.

What are hotdogs made of?

[Zzyber]

Surprisingly enough they are made of eagles.

What are cats made of?

[Reganon]

Pure evil

What is the cause of goose bumps?

[Zzyber]

Invisible geese biting your uvula.

What is it good for?

[Reganon]

Home decor and pollinating

What is Harry Potter's middle name?

[ClydeB]

In the books its James. Lots of other more fun ones come to mind with that first name.

How little work can I accomplish today while at work?

[auriga vega]

220 times with the help of cream cheese mustard cake.

Where do humans come from?

[Zzyber]

Its funny you should ask.

Is time travel possible?

[ClydeB]

I will get back with you yesterday on that.

What is with all the teenage woman in this coffee shop and wanting to talk to me. The guy who is twice their age?

[Reganon]

What are you talking about? Everyone finds INTJness sexy

How much information can the human brain store?

[Zzyber]

Only the amount that it takes to successfully dominate the world.

How much brain can information contain?

[Reganon]

21 neuro-bytes

What's the square root of an onion?

[Zzyber]

Two grapes.

Is a year and a half too long for the squirrel to still be considered your friend?

[auriga vega]

No, because I've been friend with the skunk for an hour.

What do you call a person who likes to tell lies?

[Zzyber]

Vanessa.

Shouldn't you be in bed by now?

[Reganon]

fiddlesticks!

Where does the lion sleep?

[Zzyber]

Right next to Daniel.

Why is it beneficial to count sheep over any other kind of animal/vegetable/mineral?

[rewhu]

Because sheep cannot be trusted. We must keep a close watch on them and not allow their numbers to increase.

Why are my moccasins so darn comfortable?

[Zzyber]

It's a conspiracy by the snakes to lull you into a false sense of security.

Why is it necessary to sleep when you could just zone out for a couple of minutes and accomplish the same affect?

[rewhu]

It isn't necessary for us to sleep, the sheep just want us to think it is because they when they do their experiments. Terrible, prodding experiments.

How's it hanging?

[Zzyber]

(Yet another social exchange that I don't fully understand.)

Low enough to cause me back problems.

When can we expect a break from the 80 degree December weather?

[rewhu]

Around July when it'll start breaking 100.

Do you tip valet guys?

[Zzyber]

(We are looking for wrong answers my friend)

No because I park my own car. Laziness is next to Satanliness.

Have you ever wondered what kind of maniac created the first computer?

[rewhu]

No because I already know him. It's Al Gore. After he invented the internet he invented a time machine and then invented computers. Genius.

Is Ross Perot still a billionaire?

[Zzyber]

Nope! He flapped those ears and went home to Pluto.

Why hasn't Massachusetts been destroyed by Canada yet?

[Reganon]

They've got their eyes on Vermont.

Is Vermont cheddar really better than the generic?

[Nikita]

Vermont Cheddar is the original generic. Kraft is the real deal.


Why does the Pilsbury Doughboy giggle? Isn't it so unmanly?

[kubrickfan]

He's not a man. He's a boy.

Is there something wrong with being green?

[Nihilum]

No, as long as you're not on top of the Empire State Building.

What was the longest time a chicken with it's head cut off lived for?

[Nikita]

He just posted...I'd say his odds are pretty good at making 80!


What part of the chicken is not used in chicken soup?

[kubrickfan]

The chicken's soul! Muahahahahahha

Is it really possible to have everything and nothing?

[Nikita]

only if you're Paris Hilton


Why was Daylight Savings time invented?

[kubrickfan]

It was an epic stuggle between Night and Day. Both armies clashed on the earth throughout time. Until one day, Day made a desperate plan. It tilted the earth 23.5 degrees. This threw night into chaos and was soundly defeated in the 3rd year of the ram.

Is it meaningful to be a cook or better to be a gigolo?

[ClydeB]

All I can say, is that everywhere I go, people know the part I'm playing.

What is the best ingredient to put on delivery pizza?

[vibrantblade16]

octopus eyeballs (tastes like chicken :)


What type of forum is this?

[ClydeB]

Cream together the butter, white sugar, and brown sugar until smooth. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. Dissolve baking soda in hot water. Add to batter along with salt. Stir in flour, chocolate chips, and nuts. Drop by large spoonfuls onto greased pans.

Why do that put so much sodium into heat and serve prepackaged meals?

[Reganon]

Because it tastes better that way.

What's the easiest way to laminate a hippo?

[Zzyber]

Push it into a tar pit.

What's the best way to regain your memory?

[Reganon]

Purchase it back from the store.

Who's the best rapper in the world?

[Nikita]

Gumby.


How do you do the google?

[Zzyber]

By asking Jeeves.

Do you have a prototype of anything in your house?

[Nikita]

INTJf member robots. The pod invasion will begin soon.


Where is the walrus?

[Zzyber]

Over next to the umbrella at the gate.

Why would you need to know that?

[Reganon]

I want to invite him to my new years party.

Where is the love?

[Zzyber]

Third row center at the theater in that town over there.

Do you believe in actual hate?

[Reganon]

No, I believe in Love indubitably

What's a woodchuck's favorite dessert?

[Nikita]

Chuck's wood.


Why do blondes have more fun, and brunettes have more guns?

[Reganon]

Simple: blondes get the guys, brunettes want the guys, brunettes buy guns to kill the blondes

What's the center in the circle of life?

[Nikita]

rara avis


Who is better than Monte at math?

[Reganon]

you are

Who is responsible for this mess?

[Nikita]

Zzyber - he's responsible for a lot of messes.


Who will dethrone the king of the underworld?

[Reganon]

radames- I always thought his name was a strange combination of Ramius and Hades

What will happen next?

[Nikita]

The missile I've directed towards your house will make impact.


Are you ready to go out in a blaze of whorey? (not a word, but I'm making it one, lol)

[Reganon]

Not until you stop pronouncing the 'W' in whorey! (I have a friend who always pronounces the silent 'W'- I have no idea how he does it)

Under what conditions do chickens fly?

[Nikita]

Under the condition of them being strapped to that missile. Why not cook and destroy all in one fell swoop?


What do you do with chicken eggs?

[Reganon]

plant them in the ground to see if they grow

What do you do with chopsticks?

[kubrickfan]

Use them to stir open the portals of reality and then summon the almighy Sage of the east. With his blessing I shall become ruler of the forum. Or maybe just this page...

Can you give me a wrong answer?

[ClydeB]

No. But I can give you a lovely pair of coconuts.

What is it about fire that is so mesmerizing?

[Nikita]

The flames foretell of the coming of he who shall not be maimed.


What is a bon vivant?

[azelismia]

No. But I can give you a lovely pair of coconuts.

What is it about fire that is so mesmerizing?


the tiny fire gnomes have sprayed all fires with a drug that causes complete compliance in the human species, that's why most robberies are pulled off, to satisfy the dark desire of the flame.

Why is it that my cats never believe me when I tell them they already have food?

[ClydeB]

The cats suffer from bon vivant, otherwise known as selective hearing. Just try running the can opener. They respond to that.

What is it about Groucho glasses that is so endearingly funny?

[Reganon]

Absolutely nothing

Which way does the wind blow?

[Zzyber]

Right up your bum.

When the plants destroy the Empire will the rebels know what to do with the ruins?

[Reganon]

Yes, they will use them as their party HQ

How far away is the closest star?

[Zzyber]

Only as far as the nearest marshmallow factory.

If you were to sink into a marshmallow vat would you rather die or eat your way out. (Sounds like I'm in the wrong thread)

[Nikita]

I'd build a home and settle down.


How do you lay a proper foundation?

[Reganon]

use creamed butter

What's a recipe for disaster?

[Zzyber]

Two parts love and five parts misunderstanding. (Wait I'm supposed to give wrong answers)

A penguin.

If you had a penguin for a pet what would you feed it?

[Nikita]

Dog ears.


Why do people like to have pets?

[Zzyber]

Because it proves to people that they aren't as weird as they were first pegged to be.

What would be your ideal pet?

[Reganon]

the presents!

What do you get when you cross a rhino and a hippo?

and my ideal pet is an alligator- keeps the neighbors away

[Zzyber]

A ryhmapottomas of course.

If the lights started flashing would you have a seizure?

[Reganon]

Yes, totally

What's the fastest thing on earth?

[Zzyber]

Nikita in the shower.

Have you ever been a total prick to somebody because you felt they deserved it?

[Reganon]

Only on the full moon (see truth thread for correct answers to questions)

What do you get when you put two and two together?

[kubrickfan]

Well its well known that if two two's get together they start dancing.

Is really for real?

[Zzyber]

No but his second cousin maybe apparently is.

What did the mouse say to the lion?

[rwyatt365]

Is that my cousin in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

What came after the chicken and the egg?

[Harmony]

Dr. Seuss with his green egg....

Why do we get chapped lips!?

[Zzyber]

It's due to a disproportionate level of arsenic in the air we breath in certain locations.

Why do people who deserve to live die and total r-tards get to keep living?

[Reganon]

God flips a coin

What's more powerful than the Mighty Ducks?

[Nikita]

Mighty Mouse on acid.


Who is the most prominent member of modern society?

[Reganon]

Barack Obama's new puppy

What size shoe does President Bush wear?

[azelismia]

he doesn't wear shoes his astrological advisors say that shoes will be his downfall so he just spraypaints his feet.

What is the best material to build houses with?

[ClydeB]

When confronted by life's ups and downs, how do you react?

He puts the lotion on the skin.

[azelismia]

With a loaded rotten potato gun,


will uranium glass kill you with exposure?

[Wapiti]

Nope, the shutter speed of the camera is too quick.

Why are they called 'lily pads?'

[Franklin71]

The first lily pad was a maxi pad lost by a girl named Lily who was skinny dipping.

Why is the sky blue?

[azelismia]

Sky is blue because god was mean to him and threw lightening bolts into his head. Now's he's a sad panda.

Why does hair keep growing after death?

[Nikita]

Because silk worms burrow into the scalps of the deceased and spin their wares through the deadened pores.


How does a spider know which shape to make its web?

[Reganon]

It watches Martha Stewart make one first

What is it you see when you close your eyes?

[Franklin71]

The restroom of a Denny's.

Why does it burn when I pee?

[Zzyber]

Too many encounters with Nikita's scathing wit.

How many times will this movie be played on TV this week?

[PHS Philip]

It won't. The movie never existed. The movie is a lie.

How was INTJf created?

[Zzyber]

What is this INTJF that you so freely speak of? There is no INTJF. Remember the rules!

Do you need your uvula?

[azelismia]

uvula's are a necessary household item. I store flour in mine.

Why can't I fly?

[Moriarty]

You're heavier than air.

What is the best cigar?

[Harmony]

The one that is in your hand, duh!

Will I get lucky tonight?

[azelismia]

you will get lucky! you'll find a piece of gum under your bar stool!


the one used by mr ed in a very special tv epsode. I keep it stored under my bed at night.

Why does the air turn crystalline this time of year in fairbanks?

[thatfox]

Because Jack Frost is out in force.

How much will it cost to go to Alaska in 2011?

[azelismia]

in 2011 alaska will be privately owned, there will be no admission.

Why won't america sell me alaska?

[Harmony]

Talk to Sarah Palin, I hear she's easily persuaded if you have a cheeseburger.

Why do cheeseburgers taste so good?

[azelismia]

Because they're made of a special genetically engineered maggot

Why do people stop discussing their dietary preferences with me after while?

[Zzyber]

Because the hula-hoop waist size that you have makes them think you aren't listening. (God I hope your picture is as skinny as it looks)

What happens if you get caught hobnobbing with doctor types?

[ClydeB]

You start having to worry about paying for malpractice insurance.

Why doesn't the letter z look more like the letter s?

[Nikita]

Because there was an Alpha family feud resulting from a badly made Bet that caused Q & O their homes. O then castrated Q, S & Z took sides, and A, B, and C have been struggling to get the letters to form words ever since.


Why is it fun to strap live hand grenades to kittens and toss them like hot potatoes?

[Reganon]

Because laser-cats just don't cut it

What is the square root of pie? (the thanksgiving type)

[ClydeB]

If you want to find the square root of a pie. Then you have to first find the square root of a circle (assuming the pie is round). Then square the circle, then you can find the root of the square. If you insist on keeping this in 3 dimensions you will have to find someone else as I don't know that one off the top of my head.

How do you cure an intestinal yeast infection?

[Reganon]

Take a weekend vacation to France

What is the most deadly disease in the world?

[ClydeB]

Boredom.

Where is Perth at?

[Reganon]

The Rally's on Fifth street and Orange road

How much for the Buddha statue?

[Nikita]

Your first born.


Where have all the cowboys gone to?

[Reganon]

They've gone to war.

What are the contents of your purse/bag/pack?

[Nikita]

shrunken heads, xanax, viagra, fingers from the men who have tried to mug me, and anal beads


What is in your trunk?

[Reganon]

essence of gypsies, a British Turtle named Sir Thomas of Finnesburg, the decapitated body of Ronald McDonald, the entire LA underground, and a wrench

What's above the sky?

[Nihilum]

Why, Heaven, of course.

Why are people scared of the dark?

[Nikita]

Because INTJs live in it.


Why is my shadow following me?

[Reganon]

It wants your number.

What's beneath the basement?

[Nikita]

My secret underground laboratory. Oh phooey, I told you, now I have to milk you.


How do you milk a person?

[Reganon]

Press the belly button- it comes out the nostrils

What's the quickest way to get kicked out of a movie?

[Nikita]

Be very, very quiet and administer the Heimlich maneuver to the little girl choking on her popcorn.


Where do puppies go when they die?

[Nihilum]

Your secret underground laboratory.

Where does the cream come from in cream soda?

[Nikita]

Porn sets. They've gotta do something with all of that jizz.


Who killed the farmer in the dell?

[Reganon]

The abominable snowman

What do you need to play solitaire?

[Zzyber]

Three quarts of desalinized water and a microwave.

Have you ever met a tomcat?

[kubrickfan]

yes I did on top of an aircraft carrier.

Would you call your self an extremist?

[Nikita]

No, I'm an eternal bottom-of-the-barrelist.


Where was the Battle of Normandy fought?

[Reganon]

In the Lincoln bedroom.

What is scarier than a ghost?

[Nikita]

Yo-Yo Ma-ma


Who is the reaper?

[Reganon]

Marco Polo

How do plug a three pronged plug into an outlet with two holes?

[Nikita]

Hold that bit*h down and force her legs open.


How do you nuke a hamster?

[azelismia]

Give him too many food options ( so violent in here this morning)

Why am i feeling so lazy this morning

[Nikita]

Because you were snorting red hots last night.


How much is that doggy in the window?

[azelismia]

He costs a bone


what is freezing rain