I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game

[Cuivienen]

I don't.

Why do you? :suspicious:

:yuck: God forbid.

[Hdier]

Why is blacktop really dark grey?

Why do they call something that's actually dark gray a blacktop?


Why am I so restless at night and exhausted in the day?

[theunstrungharp]

Blue balls.

Why isn't it easy being green?

[xanodel]

Why isn't it easy being green?

The amount of carbon dioxide you must absorb through your system (against your will), depending on which country and region you are placed in (again, against your will) makes life rather tedious and difficult. And when you dare raise a voice in protest, people will tell you to shut up, and that your political platform sucks (lacks teeth), and you're only popular due to socialist political tendencies. That's also just the tip of the iceberg, in addition to the fact you get to see your relatives cut down on a daily basis. Imagine the angst, and the inability to do anything about it.

Why is it the "birds and the bees"?

[searcher]

Because "elephants and giraffes" doesn't fit into the song properly.
"let me tell you bout the elephants and giraffes and the flowers and trees" doesnt have quite the same ring about it.
Besides, "cats and mice" was taken.

Why does "Peter" only have one "T"?

[curiousjane]

Because "elephants and giraffes" doesn't fit into the song properly.
"let me tell you bout the elephants and giraffes and the flowers and trees" doesnt have quite the same ring about it.
Besides, "cats and mice" was taken.

Why does "Peter" only have one "T"?

Because then, phonetically, you'd have to pet her.

Are you happy?

[rwyatt365]

That depends entirely on my definition of happiness and your perception of the veracity of that definition as contrasted to the existential stated of "happiness" which, of course, is invalid when taken out of context with the plight of mankind in the 21st century and the state of bananna futures on the London Exchange. But who's counting?!

Why are politicians so obtuse?

[TehBeefah]

Because they are very rarely attractive, which would make them (a)cute!

What do your pets do when you aren't at home?

[theunstrungharp]

The same thing he does when I am home -- eat trees, chew on girls, bask, and romp. He doesn't live here, he lives at a paddock and stable in the next town over.

What would your pet do if it had access to the internet and thumbs/fingers?

[Hdier]

I would make millions off of the miracle dog, who would gain intelligence and back-stab me for the money. He forgot that I never put him in my will.

[rwyatt365]

The same thing he does when I am home -- eat trees, chew on girls, bask, and romp. He doesn't live here, he lives at a paddock and stable in the next town over.
I bet that annoys your friends!

What would your pet do if it had access to the internet and thumbs/fingers?

I would make millions off of the miracle dog, who would gain intelligence and back-stab me for the money. He forgot that I never put him in my will.
Hah!, no question! I intercede!!

Why are red onions purple?

[Hdier]

Because the people who named it were color blind.

Why did I forget to post a question last time?

[TehBeefah]

Because you're an INFJ.

Why are INFJs so forgetful?

[Hdier]

Because INFJ is actually an anagram for Jinf, an ancient word used by a long-forgotten and dead culture. It means forgetful.

Why am I asking a question about why I'm asking a question?

[rwyatt365]

Because, due to the popular resurgence of Jinf culture you have been brainwashed into formulating questions about questions, and then forgetting that you have done so. This vicious cycle has been observed in the medical establishment, but no one can remember to write a paper about it.

Why do I keep posting to this thread?!!

[curiousjane]

Because, due to the popular resurgence of Jinf culture you have been brainwashed into formulating questions about questions, and then forgetting that you have done so. This vicious cycle has been observed in the medical establishment, but no one can remember to write a paper about it.

Why do I keep posting to this thread?!!

Because I put a hex on it.

When are you serving dinner? I'm starved!

[brooklyncs]

Funny thing. I'm serving dinner tomorrow night. But that's the right answer. So the wrong one is: NEVER! No dinner for you.

Why am I watching Roseanne?

[DrEast]

Funny thing. I'm serving dinner tomorrow night. But that's the right answer. So the wrong one is: NEVER! No dinner for you.

Why am I watching Roseanne?

For the same reason people watch train wrecks: Horrified fascination at the awesome destruction before them.

Why is blood red?

[brooklyncs]

For the same reason people watch train wrecks: Horrified fascination at the awesome destruction before them.

Why is blood red?

Because green was taken by the grass.
Why don't dogs meow?

[rwyatt365]

Blood is red because that is a color that is easily seen from a distance (much like "Stop" signs). If blood were, let's say, yellow you would not be able to easily tell if someone - or even yourself - were bleeding, thus making things somewhat awkward ("How was I supposed to know you cut yourself. You know I can't see your blood from 10ft away!")

Was Steppenwolf REALLY born to be wild?

[Hdier]

Actually, he has a Dr. Jeckle/Mr. Hyde thing going on. Whenever he's in public, it appears so, but when he's by himself, he is calm, peaceful, and intelligent (one person caught him this way and suggested he go to a shrink for MPD; let's just say Steppenwolf wasn't the one that needed to see a professional).

Why is my school being mean to me? :Pout:

[onlyparallel]

Your school is being mean to you mostly on the basis that you pay to go there, in which case you don't deserve any proper treament what so ever.

Why is it so hard to think of a question?

[Hdier]

Because your an INTJ, which, as we all know, all have hard times with any sort of thinking or anything to do with higher brain functions. Of course, INFJ's excel at that; and we have morals to back it up.

Why was the second half of my answer not wrong? ;)

[azelismia]

Because your an INTJ, which, as we all know, all have hard times with any sort of thinking or anything to do with higher brain functions. Of course, INFJ's excel at that; and we have morals to back it up.

Why was the second half of my answer not wrong? ;)

Because morels are something you dig out of the ground and eat in a wine sauce. and everyone knows various mushrooms have interesting effects...

who was the first person to figure out how to pick roast and brew the coffee bean, and how did that discovery come about?

[DrEast]

Because morels are something you dig out of the ground and eat in a wine sauce. and everyone knows various mushrooms have interesting effects...

who was the first person to figure out how to pick roast and brew the coffee bean, and how did that discovery come about?

I was. Because building a time machine means pretty late nights, all right?

Should I go back and put some time machine jokes in this thread?

[theunstrungharp]

Uh. Yes. Please. Do it!

Who doesn't love David Quammen?

[rwyatt365]

No one, absolutely everyone on this planet (and others as well) love David Quammen. Unfortunately only about 0.0001% of them actually know who he is, or what he's done to deserve their undying admiration, it's all for show.

Why did my 1-hour meeting this morning take 2.5 hours?

[theunstrungharp]

Because God was busy chatting up your mom and forgot to end it on time.

Why can't you get an INTJ as a pet like you can a pot-bellied pig?

[curiousjane]

Because God was busy chatting up your mom and forgot to end it on time.

Why can't you get an INTJ as a pet like you can a pot-bellied pig?

Because that would be cruel and unusual punishment for the INTJ. Lots of hugs and kisses and snout-nuzzles and petting and long walks. It would be awful. Simply awful.

Why can't I concentrate?

[rwyatt365]

Why can't I concentrate?
Because either you don't have the heat up high enough to boil away the liquids, or you aren't on the fire long enough to drive them away in sufficient quantity to notice an effect. You could try higher heat, longer, or move to a higher elevation - the lower air pressure will help speed things up.

Why do I look so dorky in my wedding photo?

[DrEast]

Because either you don't have the heat up high enough to boil away the liquids, or you aren't on the fire long enough to drive them away in sufficient quantity to notice an effect. You could try higher heat, longer, or move to a higher elevation - the lower air pressure will help speed things up.

Why do I look so dorky in my wedding photo?

Because it's supposed to be the BRIDE in the wedding dress.

What was I just about to say?

[azelismia]

Because it's supposed to be the BRIDE in the wedding dress.

What was I just about to say?

My handy-dandy mind-reading device of the past tense, said you were about to say how very sorry you were for stealing his soon to-be wifes wedding dress and prancing about the streets in it singing "look at me, I'm a little meadow-lark"

*fy da*

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si martmota monax materiam possit materiari?

[Vivid]

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si martmota monax materiam possit materiari?

42

What does the hyoid do?

[curiousjane]

42

What does the hyoid do?

What the dioyd doesn't.

Have you ever cheated when solving the Rubik's cube?

[ElstonGunn]

What the dioyd doesn't.

Have you ever cheated when solving the Rubik's cube?

Yeah, I decided that I'd base my understanding of it on non-Euclidean geometry, and then the whole thing just didn't make sense anymore.

How is it possible that this thread hasn't died yet?

[Motor Jax]

Neither nor thither, hither nor yon, whether the weather is another withered shiver or a whispered yawn, with either option it's the choice of the ruffled feather on the tufted grouse twixt the weathered heather.

ha ha ha

ROTFLMAO!

If a mime goes on a killing spree, does he have use a silencer on his gun?

so friggin' hilarious!

How is it possible that this thread hasn't died yet?

cause we are stuck in a time-loop





Motor Jax added to this post, 1 minutes and 31 seconds later...

why is my job so boring? (and why is it our nature to forget these things)

[rwyatt365]

Actually, your job is fascinating and exciting - you are boring.

If a tree falls in the forest does a bear shit in the woods?

[DrEast]

Actually, your job is fascinating and exciting - you are boring.

If a tree falls in the forest does a bear shit in the woods?

Not if the tree falls on the bear, but that's okay, because then there's nobody around to hear it, except the fleeing mime, who won't make a sound.

Where do babies come from?

[Amity]

Where do babies come from?
Look for the union label.



How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

[Jane]

A woodchuck can't chuck wood, we all know that!

Why is it hard to hold together in the cold November?

(Forgive me, I'm listening to Guns N' Roses):idea:

[brooklyncs]

Because the glue actually freezes before it has time to bond the thing you're trying to hold together, then cracks, then comes apart completely.

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

[Motor Jax]

duh, he's been helping to excavate Stonehenge, but he only works the night shift

why are brightly colored vehicle so popular?

[Jane]

Answer: What makes you think they are?

Question: What makes you think they are?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Because the fleeing mime told me so while we were chucking wood with Carmen Sandiego.

Why are am I listening to a french song when I don't know french!

[Richard0612]

Because you have been brainwashed into doing so. By continuing to listen you become less human and more robot.

What is a Sontaran?

[INTJoe]

What is a Sontaran?

A Sontaran is a poem with syllables of 3-9-2, that must include sexual innuendo.

Ex:

Suck on this
I am swollen and ready to blow
Don't spit

[Motor Jax]

where was the last question?

[Richard0612]

It was an imaginary question [i.e. the square root of -1 questions].

What happens if you shout 'I am a fish' when swimming?

[brooklyncs]

You are immediately joined by an school of guppies who feel sorry for you because it seems your school deserted you for being different. You are overjoyed because your loneliness is over, so you just keep swimming. Ignoring the fact that your lungs are screaming for air, you keep swimming until you can't swim anymore, then you drown.

Why can't I sleep at night?

[Richard0612]

Because night-time doesn't technically exist, except in the mind. You cannot do anything when time doesn't exist, as events would have no progression and end up in a tachyonic soup.

What does tachyonic soup look/taste like?

[theunstrungharp]

It tastes like a Nabokov short story but looks like a Bible.

What do Pterodactyls usually name their children?

[azelismia]

It tastes like a Nabokov short story but looks like a Bible.

What do Pterodactyls usually name their children?


Bob white

What is better Coke or Pepsi?

[Zirka]

Bob white

What is better Coke or Pepsi?

Mountain Dew.

What type of pencil should be used to fill in multiple choice bubbles?

[Motor Jax]

#5 since they can cover much more areas quicker

what is the thesis behind astrological questions?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Oil barrels.

Why am I not studying right now?

[Motor Jax]

the grammatical errors on condiment labels


why do people drive crazy?

[theunstrungharp]

Because they are from Boston.

Why do people drive *me* crazy?

[Motor Jax]

because they like you

is the sun shrinking?

[curiousjane]

Actually, the sun is melting. It has trickled down into a parallel universe as a golden stream of lava that the natives worship as the "vomit of the gods". They celebrate "Vomit Day" once a year by throwing up into little silver caskets and offering it up at the temple.

When does life make more sense?

[mental drift]

Actually life will not make any more sense because it is out of the necessary ingredients, we are therefore in a perpetual loop of boredom and misery.

Why do energy drinks use bull urine aka. Taurine.

[IgnoranceIsKind]

When it runs out of dollars.

Why does curiousjane have 250 more posts than me?





I was replying curiousjane but you beat me..

[Motor Jax]

she likes being intoxicated with INTJness and learning



why do the people i work with act like it's the small things that make the earth rotate?

[rwyatt365]

Because they haven't figured out that it's the big things, like Hummers and Escalades that make the earth rotate. Without the combined thrust of all of those vehicles, the earth would eventually slow down and stop.

Why did it take all morning to create a stupid Powerpoint presentation (that will be read through in about 10 minutes)?

[ElstonGunn]

Why did it take all morning to create a stupid Powerpoint presentation (that will be read through in about 10 minutes)?

Because old age has not been kind to your once-mighty arm, and thus, it took all morning to muster up the strength to point powerfully.

Why do they call the clock where you punch your timecard a "time" clock? Aren't all clocks time clocks, or is there such a thing as "space clock?" ...Follow-up question: If there is a such a thing as a "space clock," is it as cool as I hope and expect it to be?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Because inventors are just brimming with creativity.

Knock knock!

[ElstonGunn]

Knock knock!

Answer: Come in. I've been expecting you.

Totally unrelated question: Who's there?

[curiousjane]

Answer: Come in. I've been expecting you.

Totally unrelated question: Who's there?

Orange.

When is a magic carpet like an asparagus?

[TheLastMohican]

Orange.

When is a magic carpet like an asparagus?

When the magic carpet is made of asparagus.

Why is your hair ultraviolet?

[Richard0612]

Because you don't exist.

Can you prove that you exist?

[TheLastMohican]

Because you don't exist.

Can you prove that you exist?
Yes; I can see your ultraviolet hair, therefore I am.

Why do pit bulls have to chew cud?

[rwyatt365]

Because it's too thick to drink through a straw (unless of course they happen to have a Cuisinart).

Why is it still COLD here?!! (an overnight freeze warning!)

[azelismia]

Because some evil genius in your neighborhood is a smart ass and genetically encoded pigs to fly.

what do colors taste like?

[Wapiti]

Because the earth is flat.

Where did the remote go?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

slipped off the flat edge of the world.

why did i fall in love with my doctor?

[brooklyncs]

Because you like it when someone drugs you before your dates.

What is man's attraction to golf all about?

[Wapiti]

Because they like the way the sound when the bat hits the baseball.

What is purple, round, and moans like a cow giving birth?

[curiousjane]

A Rubik's cube.

When is the giant orange clothespin going to come and take us away?

[theunstrungharp]

It came while you were away but it only took No, Melon, Gnat and Latte. None of them are answering their iphones though so I can't get the scoop on exactly where they went. I'll reckon a guess thats they are trying to overthrow the SJ forums on the other end of the interweb.

*a paper airplane whizzes by*

Where will I hike on Monday?

[rwyatt365]

You will hike upon the endless plains of Mars, to gaze upon the imposing hulk of Olympus Mons, at which time you will trip and fall into Vallus Marinaris and break a leg. You will then be forced to spend the Martian spring eating sand worms and drinking melt water that forms on the rim of the gorge and trickles down one drop at a time.

Who taught you emotions? (Yoko Kanno - Monochrome)

[curiousjane]

Who taught you emotions? (Yoko Kanno - Monochrome)

Earth, Wind, and Fire ;)

Will you marry me?

[DrEast]

Earth, Wind, and Fire ;)

Will you marry me?

Certainly, but first, you must sign this prenuptial.

Where is my cat?

[Wapiti]

It's in my trap in the back of the car on the way to cat heaven. Oops, that was the right answer, the wrong answer is, your cat is fine, no worries.....

Why don't rainbow trout have rainbows on them?

[Erika Redmark]

They used to, but the leprechauns stole all of them.

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

[rwyatt365]

They used to, but the leprechauns stole all of them.

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
Actually, no one. It's the small, nice ones that you have to watch out for.

How many Elvis impersonators does it take to screw in a light bulb?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Actually, no one. It's the small, nice ones that you have to watch out for.

How many Elvis impersonators does it take to screw in a light bulb?


3.14159

If sam left her house at 8.04 a.m. walking at 5km/hr, and her dog left her house at 8.10 a.m. following after her at 7km/hr, what time would a satellite reach saturn?

[grey]

If sam left her house at 8.04 a.m. walking at 5km/hr, and her dog left her house at 8.10 a.m. following after her at 7km/hr, what time would a satellite reach saturn?

9:12 local

If they're man-made, how the hell can they be elements?

[rwyatt365]

Because man, in his divine role as protector of the universe, has been charged - after the "introductory period" - with maintenance of everything. Seeing a need for more "stuff", mankind has created more elements simply by using existing particles as sub-assemblies. Of course, once we have saturated the market and created a supply-side overburden, our charter will be revoked and all new elements will be reclaimed and recycled into their constituent parts.

If pi r^2, why isn't bread round?

[mental drift]

Because then it would be a piece of pi pronounced pizza pie

Why do I keep getting hit in the head with airplanes made out of astrophysics paper.

[curiousjane]

Because the airplanes made out of mint tea won't fly.

Who let the dogs out?

[TheLastMohican]

Because the airplanes made out of mint tea won't fly.

Who let the dogs out?

Mr. Stapleton, of course.

Why don't clouds have copper linings?

[curiousjane]

Mr. Stapleton, of course.

Why don't clouds have copper linings?

That's easy. Copper is too expensive. It's the most expensive metal on the recycling market, in fact. Air conditioning units everywhere would have to be vandalized by vagrants for the express purpose of selling the copper wiring to recycling centers for crack money. Or beer money. Or whatever money.

Whatever the reason, the end result is that the wiring costs too much to turn into copper linings. Copper linings would be too precious. And would eventually turn oxidized green. Which would freak out the weather man.

(And all I can say is: those vagrants better leave my office's air conditioning units alone this summer. The last 3-4 times they hit them up for cash, we suffered for days in stuffy, sweaty, 80+ degree cubicles and couldn't concentrate to save our lives. True story!)

So, when the air does go out, which is better: lime or grape Popsicles?

[Wapiti]

When there is no air, obviously the cherry one because its red - gets me every time.


How many lizards must die in acid before you buy a lid?

[TheLastMohican]

So, when the air does go out, which is better: lime or grape Popsicles?

It is a common misconception that grape popsicles are better than lime. Goethe himself supported the Grape Hypothesis, which assumes that Grape popsicles are better because less processing is necessary, as a whole grape on a stick still resembles a popsicle. But in response, Euclid postulated a whole lime on a stick would still resemble a popsicle, if one of the oversized "state fair" variety. The debate was recently settled, though, when Richard Dawkins added an appendix to his bestseller The God Delusion in which he pointed out that nobody eats whole limes anymore, so the debate is entirely moot.

Are lemons sour or sweet?





TheLastMohican added to this post, 0 minutes and 46 seconds later...

When there is no air, obviously the cherry one because its red - gets me every time.


How many lizards must die in acid before you buy a lid?
About 4, because after that the smell is overwhelming.

[rwyatt365]

Lemons are neither sour, nor sweet, but an entirely new taste profile that is beyond the capacity of the human senses to interpret. And so, we get totally confused when tasting them and begin making lemonade.

Why were the dogs let out?

[TheLastMohican]

Lemons are neither sour, nor sweet, but an entirely new taste profile that is beyond the capacity of the human senses to interpret. And so, we get totally confused when tasting them and begin making lemonade.

Why were the dogs let out?
Anyone who has read The Hound(s) of the Baskervilles ought to know the answer.

Why isn't rock candy mined in the Ozarks?

[Wapiti]

Becuase everyone knows that you grow rock and they don't have many coca plants in the ozarks.

Why is Mozart dead?

[TheLastMohican]

Becuase everyone knows that you grow rock and they don't have many coca plants in the ozarks.

Why is Mozart dead?
Because they buried him without a coffin, doofus.

Why doesn't Eminem write lyrics for Beethoven's Ninth?

[rwyatt365]

Actually, he did but the ground tornado created by Beethoven turning over in his grave caused a seismic wave that swallowed the recording studio and all of the copies of those lyrics. They are currently 4.27 miles beneath the earth's crust, just off of the California coast near San Bernardino.

Is it true that everything must change?

[curiousjane]

Actually, he did but the ground tornado created by Beethoven turning over in his grave caused a seismic wave that swallowed the recording studio and all of the copies of those lyrics. They are currently 4.27 miles beneath the earth's crust, just off of the California coast near San Bernardino.

Is it true that everything must change?

Absolutely not. My admiration for you is constant. ;D

Who's on first?

[Richard0612]

The Lord High Master of the Idiot Kingdom and all the Places where Idiocy has influence.
[George 'China is Big' Bush, in other words]

What happens when you put your foot in your mouth and make a speech?

[theunstrungharp]

GWB. OOOPs. this is the WRONG answer game. Hm.

You realize you're late for yoga.

What happens if Bono never finds anyone to ride your wild horses?

[rwyatt365]

Contrary to popular belief there are a surplus of people signed up, and available to ride your wild horses. There is a sign-up sheet at your local WalMart and it costs $463.92 (not including travel and lodging, but they do supply a boxed lunch and a free T-shirt commemorating the event).

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

[curiousjane]

Contrary to popular belief there are a surplus of people signed up, and available to ride your wild horses. There is a sign-up sheet at your local WalMart and it costs $463.92 (not including travel and lodging, but they do supply a boxed lunch and a free T-shirt commemorating the event).

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Would Chuck chuck wood? I don't know. Let me ask him. "HEY CHUCK! WOULD YOU CHUCK THAT LOG OVER HERE FOR ME???!!!"

*ducks log*

Well, there you go.

When will the penny be abolished?

[Wapiti]

The penny was already abolished with the passing of the 13th ammendment in 1865.

When will the cows come home?

[rwyatt365]

All cows are homeless and, as such, cannot come home. Unless you, or some other kind-hearted soul, are willing to put some up for the next few months until they can get on their feet.

Why is Mr. Norris throwing trees around?

[Wapiti]

Because Mrs. Norris said build me a log house.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

[grey]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

She was trying to find a clever answer to this question.


I've been told from separate, trustworthy sources that everyone should, given any opportunity, try to live in New York for at least a year of their lives, if they're in the USA. Is this true, to any degree?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

None whatsoever.

How true is it that the yellowness of cheese can be disilluioning?

[Motor Jax]

very true. it has been proven that cheese is actually green, but the yellow makes it look a little healthier and since they changed the coloring, the cheese stock market had increased. once people saw the market sell of yellow cheese vice green cheese, it was unanimously voted to keep it yellow


who really built Stonehenge?

[Richard0612]

Actually, it was meant to be Stonehinge, as it was built to act as part of the Galactic Door for the import of Yellow Cheese. Given the propensity for intergalactic builders to be cowboys, only the hinges were built: the door was never finished, and the cheese stayed where it was.

Where was the cheese?

[ElstonGunn]

Where was the cheese?

I'm not sure where it was exactly, but the cheese did, in fact, stand alone.

Okay, so there's the rooster, the chicken, and the hen. Now, the rooster goes with the hen. So who's having sex with the chicken? Something's missing.

[Wapiti]

So she said yes and the egg came first. Then they put there left foot in and thats what it's all about.

So why did the chicken cut the cheese?

[Richard0612]

Because the chicken exists and the cheese doesn't.

Why are we having a discussion about chickens and cheese?

[curiousjane]

Because I'm hungry. And chicken cordon bleu is sounding mighty tasty right about now!

If a rooster laid an egg on the the ridge of a rooftop, which way would it roll?

[ElstonGunn]

If a rooster laid an egg on the the ridge of a rooftop, which way would it roll?

It depends on when the rooster got its sex-change operation.

So how about that local sports team, eh?

[Richard0612]

Is the sports team made up of chickens?

[Wapiti]

Yep, just like you.

Who let the chickens out?

[curiousjane]

That's easy. Mel Gibson. Have you ever seen Chicken Run?

Are you chicken?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

No, but I certainly am Cheese!

In 1837, physics scientist Yaidr invented cheese. Why was it named cheese and not coffee?

[Richard0612]

Because the chickens wanted it to be called cheese so that we could have this weird talk.

Was Yaidr a chicken?

[Motor Jax]

no, but Yoda, his older brother, was

why does it seem at times that time itself stands still?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Because the cheese supports it as a pillar of yellowy strength.

(Has anyone noticed Yadir is actually just dairy rearranged?)


Why are we talking so much about cheese?

[grey]

Why are we talking so much about cheese?

We don't really know anything about anything else.

What will you have to say for yourself on your day of judgment?

[Motor Jax]

smile big at the camera and say "CHEESE!". then tell Him i want to back to earth and visit my friends as a ghost

where do animals go when they die?

[TheLastMohican]

smile big at the camera and say "CHEESE!". then tell Him i want to back to earth and visit my friends as a ghost

where do animals go when they die?

I eat them, of course.

What made London Bridge fall down?

[Solaris]

where do animals go when they die?


Animals enter a parallel dimension in which we are the pets, and they are the master. In the case of wild animals, they hunt us, instead of being hunted.

How do you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

[acrossthefourthwall]

What made London Bridge fall down?

Sheer exhaustion. It'd pulled an all-nighter in order to get all of its essays finished, and then ended up sprinting across the campus at the last minute in order to hand them in.

How do you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

By willing it into existence.

Who framed Roger Rabbit?

[curiousjane]

Sheer exhaustion. It'd pulled an all-nighter in order to get all of its essays finished, and then ended up sprinting across the campus at the last minute in order to hand them in.



By willing it into existence.

Who framed Roger Rabbit?

The muffin man (who lives on Drury lane).

Have you met the muffin man?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Yes I have. We ate cheese during our all-nighter rushing our essays together with london bridge (I really prefer to call him londy).

If 34 + X = 37,

Should quantum entanglement be the next concept behind a fax machine?

[rwyatt365]

Actually, quantum entanglement has been the basis of all faxing since the mid 1700's but it has only been recently, since the advent of string theory, that fax transmissions have reverted to cruder, less effcient methods of communication. It is up to us to return to simpler, "greener" means of document transmission - quantum entanglement via the color transition of cheese from green to yellow.

If two Sims attempt a homosexual marriage, is it illegal in Wyoming?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Not at all. The product of two homesexual Sims marriage is a schrodinger's cat, and therefore there would be multiple dimensions of Wyoming. Wyoming would become confused with cheese because the majority of its population are SP's.

What would happen if a homosexual Sims ate green cheese?

[quest ion]

He'll burst into flames.

Why did She buy a shoe that is two sizes bigger?

[Motor Jax]

since the discovery of Bigfoot, they have come out of hiding

She wouldn't be Bigfoot, would She?

[mental drift]

No because all Bigfoot's are males, for example Shaq, and it's one of the only creatures other than seahorse's that the males carry babies, but the hairy creatures actually inseminate each other.

If Bigfoot's feet are big, what else is big?

[WiredBrain]

If Bigfoot's feet are big, what else is big?

His stress for having to buy lots of foot deodorant to disguise that big and nasty toenail fungus odor he has, and also his anger for people who screw up penis jokes...


Why do you get electrocuted when a lightning strikes you?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Because lightning is actually made up of little cheese atoms. When these cheestoms come into contact with our skin, it sends little cheesenals to our head which disrupts and disorientates our neural transmittors. Hence, electrocution.

Why am I feeling so gilolenobulavmic?

[Richard0612]

Because you have been eating too much cheese.

Is this statement false?

[rwyatt365]

"This statement" is not false, however that statement is.

Why are people stupid?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Because they're not INTJs.

Why are we so special?

[Antares]

Because we're INTJs.

Why do we need to pee?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Because we're INTJ's.

I've been given a warning. Why is that?

[rwyatt365]

Because we're INTJ's

Why are we so INTJ?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

20,000 years ago, a species more intelligent than any human will ever be landed their spaceship on Earth. But because their food supply were running short, they couldn't stay long enough to build an empire. So this intelligent species left a few specimens that were created in their likeness on Earth. Soon these little specimens became sapient, and because they were so smart, they started to improve the situation and to begin the work of the empire. They started multiplying so as to increase labour for the building of said empire. However, along the process of copulation, there were several mistakes, and the disastrous results were the production of 'things' we call NFs, SPs and SJs. The latter group were jealous of the INTJs because they were smart, and so started a civil war. The INTJs, then too occupied with coming up with the perfect blueprint for the empire, were wiped out, but not completely. They built an underground city to hold the remaining survivors, and went on to create a subterranean metropolis. 20,000 years later, we are still a stealthy bunch, an inheritence of the DNAs from our ancestors who strived so hard to hide. And the underground metropolis still exists.

Why do I keep thinking the alien spaceship is a mazda?

[Motor Jax]

because it is


why do people think that I should just do everything?

[Richard0612]

Because they're vacuous 'valley girl' type people.

Why are people like this let out of the nuthouse?

[curiousjane]

So that people like you can complain about it.

What affect does the Ides of March have on the Rite of Spring?

[Richard0612]

It ensures that people use effect and affect correctly.

Why was I let out of the nuthouse?

[curiousjane]

LOL!

And I call myself a writer!

You got me there. Now I can't even go back and change it.


So U could correct me.

Why is my brain on strike today?

[Richard0612]

A universal brain strike was called three days ago by the Galactic Neuron Union. That's why I'm running from my crystal-storage brain backup.

*sigh*
Does anyone read the intergalactic quantum-entanglement-transmitted news these days?

[rwyatt365]

No, sadly the IQET News has been out of publication ever since they opened their website in fluidic space. Subscriptions have dropped off so much so that it is economically unfeasible to continue with the print operations. A sad testament to the decline of print journalism in the quantum entanglement landscape.

Why are seminars so boring?

[grey]

Why are seminars so boring?

First, look within yourself for the source of your displeasure. Seminars are AWESOME!

What would you do differently if you had only one arm?

[mental drift]

Urinate. Since it takes two hands to manage the weight, I would have to call for backup.

Why are seminars awesome.

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Because they don't serve cheese.

Why are photons quantums of electromagnetic particles?

[rwyatt365]

Because they couldn't afford the fees to become full-fledged particles. The sub-atomic particle police are pretty strict with enforcement of the licensing and anything caught without a sticker is fined, or imprisoned. And since photons have a sick mother at home, they can't be locked up for any length of time.

If Toto is a dog, and Tonto is an indian, why is Toronto a city?

[Hdier]

The illegitimate lovechild of a dog and an indian is a city.

How come none of the wishes on the corrupt a wish thread are coming true?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Because Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy are too busy having a rendezvous in his workshop..doing it reindeer style.

How does a dog copulate with a city?

[Jane]

They're not.

Why is 'this' so?

[Elfrun]

It's not... why, who say's 'this' is? where are they? why are they talking about it? are they watching us now? Did they also tell you I'm paranoid, because I'm not but it sounds like something 'they' would say? Don't trust anyone Jane, I know they're on to me already but there's still time to save yourself just don't ask too many dangerous questions.


Are there really only 7 degrees of separation?

[Motor Jax]

there are actually 8, but the last one will land you in prison with 'Bubba' and his boys

why are rice cakes so good, but like have no nutritional value?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Because when the producers of rice cake manufactured the product, they were torn between the line of adding nutrition by way of cheesy inputs, or pure flavour with soggy rice grains. Ultimately their decision was influenced by the need to make profits, and hence went ahead with soggy rice grains.

Why aren't Post-Its called Post-that instead?

[curiousjane]

Because "something" was too vague, "whatever" was too open, and "that" sounded like the copywriter was challenging the CEO to a verbal sparring match. "Post THAT, you pompous lunatic!"

Why am I still bored?

[rwyatt365]

Compared to a dead earthworm, you are incredibly excited. But that's the right answer, so...

Your emotional neural receptors are cross-wired, similar to your optic nerves. So, your seeming state of boredom is, in fact, a state of pure unadulterated ecstacy. In fact that last yawn was the most incredible orgasm you have ever experienced in life.

Does the rain in Spain fall mainly on the plain?

[Richard0612]

Compared to a dead earthworm, you are incredibly excited. But that's the right answer, so...

Your emotional neural receptors are cross-wired, similar to your optic nerves. So, your seeming state of boredom is, in fact, a state of pure unadulterated ecstacy. In fact that last yawn was the most incredible orgasm you have ever experienced in life.

Does the rain in Spain fall mainly on the plain?

No, this is a common misconception, Spanish rain is a metaphysical qualia, and therefore doesn't exist but in description, therefore cannot fall at all, on the plain or otherwise.

Why is there a correlation between long hair and stupidity?

[EsoteriEccentri]

Because we're supposed to think up witty "wrong answers" to these questions. I shan't even try. =S


What is rain? :huh:

[TheLastMohican]

Because we're supposed to think up witty "wrong answers" to these questions. I shan't even try. =S


What is rain? :huh:

It is a clear, highly acidic substance that falls from the sky and is sometimes summoned with peculiar rattles. Recently it was discovered that the best way to summon it is actually to schedule a picnic.

Why don't ants ever go on strike?

[Elfrun]

Because they know they all need to work together if they are to take over the world.

Why is Australia the driest continent in the world when it's surrounded by so much water?

[rwyatt365]

Because Australia is actually composed entirely of Kitty Litter and is slowly absorbing the Pacific Ocean. Were it not for the surreptitious plot by the US to increase global warming and melt the polar ice caps, the coast of California would be 53 miles further out to sea.

Why is my laptop so slow?

[ElstonGunn]

Your -ahem- "Laptop" is slow because that's just what happens with old age. You could ask your doctor about it if it's really a problem for you.

Why was April warmer than May is around here?

[rwyatt365]

Because April is 18 and quite the cutie, but May is 85 and just sits around the house all day.

(It must be a miracle!) Why did it only take 10 minutes to get the license plate for my motorcycle just now?

[Wapiti]

Because 85 year old May was behind the counter and she thought you were cute and she moved you up in line because you agreed to go on a date with her this Friday. Have fun.

How much concrete do you need to keep a 200 pound body from ever re-surfacing?

[ElstonGunn]

I've found that it's not so much a question of quantity as it is of consistency. If you don't use enough cement, you're obviously going to have problems getting the concrete to stick together, and the body will come out easily. But if you use too much cement, your concrete will be too runny, which will allow the body to rise, not to mention that it'll take longer to set and cure. All that being said, about four 50-pound sacks oughtta be plenty to pave over a 200-pound body.

But the real question is whether it's even worth it to use the concrete-encasment method? Why not just bury the bodies in the woods at 4:00 in the morning when no one is around?

[Wapiti]

Because the bodies aren't ready until precisely 4:15 am every morning, you know - after the seance is finished and refreshments are served. Duh.

How many clowns can you fit in a toilet?

[rwyatt365]

The generally accepted clown/toilet ratio is 3.27:1, but that depends on whether you are using US/English clowns, or metric clowns.

Do clowns float?

[Motor Jax]

they ALL float down here

*laughs hysterically*



is Elvis still alive?

[tenspot]

No but Tupac surely is................

Why are we here?

[Elfrun]

Some people say God, some people say evolution. The truth is a giant sneezed us into existence - we have no purpose, we were a mistake.


Why is it that the more time I spend on this forum the less tolerant I am of the fools that constently surround me?

[curiousjane]

Because this is all a dream. And you do not want to wake up.

(BTW, bless you. ;))

What is the best way to catch a lightning bug?

[TheLastMohican]

What is the best way to catch a lightning bug?

They are attracted to thunder. It works every time.


Who are you, anyway?

[curiousjane]

They are attracted to thunder. It works every time.


Who are you, anyway?

Couldn't you tell? I'm ...
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Why shouldn't Suzanna cry for you?

[Elfrun]

C’mon poor Suzanna’s all cried out, that go’dam banjo playin’ crazy eyed-stalker of hers has been leaving threatening messages for her whilst driving from Alabama to Louisiana to get her, the poor girls scared out of her brain and has no tears left.



Is there anything better than sliced bread?

[TheLastMohican]

Couldn't you tell? I'm ...
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

:laugh: I wish we had a more emphatic laughing emoticon. This deserves one of those "rofl1" emoticons from MBTI Central. :laugh:

Is there anything better than sliced bread?

Sliced pot roast, duh.


Where is the end of the rainbow?

[Wapiti]

On the trout in the creek.

How do you clean a rainbow trout?

[curiousjane]

Well, first you have to convert it into black and white in Photoshop. And then you get the "heal" tool and start cloning bits and pieces, until it's nice and even ...

Do you see what I see?

[rwyatt365]

I am you, and you are me, and we are all together...therefore I must see what you see.

However, should we...come together, right now?

[muguly]

Only if the mood is right.

Where is the best place to find a mate?

[Wapiti]

Playing chess would be the best way to find a mate.

What is the best way to rob a bank?

[rwyatt365]

Careful scientific study has proven that the most effective way to rob a bank is to dress up in a Ronald McDonald suit, tatoo your home address, SSN (for US citizens), and phone number on your forehead then arm yourself with a Super Soaker (the one with the backpack). Walk directly up to the bank president (after signing in the register and waiting your turn) and announce in a loud voice, "This is a robbery", while simultaneously exposing your genitals. Following this, immediately fall face-down on the ground and begin crying loudly.

Works every time.

What would you do if I sang out of tune, and can I really get by with a little help from my friends?

[curiousjane]

No. Because you've had a Beatles fixation lately. Your friends have decided to move to Kansas. And they took your record collection with them. Sorry, rwyatt!

Is Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds?

[rwyatt365]

No, she's in Kansas...with Kittens...and mint tea (but "Lucy in Topeka with Kitty" didn't have the right ring to it).

(Hmmm, no Beatles...)

Then, am I Born to Be Wild?

[Elfrun]

Apparently so, but you still need to make sure that mood is right.


Who or what is 'God'?

[Hdier]

God is a misconception. Most people think of him as some all-powerful being, when in fact 12.6 million years ago there was a species of rare mongoose that was super-intelligent and enslaved us; they were called gods. There is only one left alive, after the major rebellion, but they can reproduce asexually so you never know when they might come back...

Why does everybody here seem to be older than they actually are?

[rwyatt365]

Because we are descendants of the ancient mongoose people, and have inherited the mongoose-mind. We WILL soon take over the world (again).

If dinosaurs had never died-off would we all now be lizard-people?

[muguly]

Dinosaurs didn't die, they are now called Republicans

What did the dog say the the cat when they were at the bar?

[rwyatt365]

"Is that your kitty, or are you just glad to see me?"

What did the cat say back?

[Wapiti]

"are you a wiener dog or are you just happy to see me?"

Why did I forget the perfect question for this thread?

[muguly]

Because the doctor took you off your medication

How many times can a train say its name?

[curiousjane]

The number of cars it pulls divided by the engine power and multiplied by the inverse of its velocity.

Who's on first?

[Motor Jax]

the mongoose with a cup of warm mint tea

why does today have to be the busiest slow day in the past year i've worked here?

[Wapiti]

Because you said mint tea.

Why does chorizo taste so good with eggs?

[SongofSeptember]

Because pigs lay eggs and chorizo is made from the meat of French-Indonesian chickens.

Why is my computer lagging?

[Antares]

Because pigs lay eggs and chorizo is made from the meat of French-Indonesian chickens.

Why is my computer lagging?

Because computers are extremely spiritual and are in sync with the user's brain.

Anyway.

Why isn't the world flat?

[Elfrun]

The world isn't flat? I think you'll find it is, it just looks round because your eyeballs are round so they skew your perspective.



Why is sliced bread so great anyway?

[SongofSeptember]

Actually, your eyeballs, in reality, are flat and thin, so sliced bread, which has a similar shape, appeals to it.

Why do people drown?

EDIT: I use a lot of commas.

[Antares]

Actually, your eyeballs, in reality, are flat and thin, so sliced bread, which has a similar shape, appeals to it.

Why do people drown?

EDIT: I use a lot of commas.

Because the human brain can only withstand 1 bar of water pressure. Anymore than that, skull = crushed.

Why don't I drown at 1 bar of water pressure?

EDIT: We noticed. Thank you very much.

[SongofSeptember]

Welcome.

Because your skull is abnormally thick and sturdy, and you forgot to drill in the air holes when you were born.

Why do we have skulls?

[Antares]

Welcome.

Because your skull is abnormally thick and sturdy, and you forgot to drill in the air holes when you were born.

Why do we have skulls?

Embarrassment is a dangerous emotion that can cause self-destruction. Some people have remarkably little brains, and evolution developed a thing called 'skull' to mask that fact, so people wouldn't notice (of course, we still do), and wouldn't comment; saving the group in question some face.

Do you have air holes in your skull?

[Motor Jax]

yes, but they were covered up by things called ears. before the transformation, they were used to clean much like blowing dust off of filters. but over time, someone decided to just cover up the holes with something they thought they could get away with... we're onto you


what isn't time moving faster to 'getting off of work' time?

[rwyatt365]

Time does move faster to 'getting off of work' time, however your perception of time slows inversely. Therefore, perceived time moves at a steady rate.

How do you burn water?

[muguly]

An unknown error has occurred in kernel32.dl If this problem persist, press CTRL+ATL+DLT

Is there really a giant at the top of the bean stalk?

[tenspot]

Yes the omnipresent one, this is the also the answer to "Who or What is GOD?"

How many licks does it take to to get to the center of the earth?

[tp6626]

This depends on who's playing the guitar. If its Slash it won't be long, probably a few licks from Sweet Child of Mine. Jimmy Page on the other hand can do it with the 1st 5 notes from Whole Lotta Love, through a good quality Les Paul and Marshall valve amp.

What was the first practical use for Quantum Mechanics?

[curiousjane]

Fixing gaps in ozone layer.

How do I know?

[eMachine]

Fixing gaps in ozone layer.

How do I know?

You know because the shopping cart lady with the tin foil hat pulled you into an alley to tell you so and, as we all know, that is the only way to get any accurate information about physics.

The question is though, why does this physics genius wear a tin foil hat and push a shopping cart?

[Moriarty]

You know because the shopping cart lady with the tin foil hat pulled you into an alley to tell you so and, as we all know, that is the only way to get any accurate information about physics.

The question is though, why does this physics genius wear a tin foil hat and push a shopping cart?

On her home planet of Postulon, the UV radiation and scattered RF energy is only half of what it is here on Earth. She needs the foil hat to reflect these harmful rays away from her microcircuit brain, which is very sensitive to electromagnetic energy. The cart? Well, that's easy. She's gotta have someplace to keep all her stuff, shah!

Why do four out of five dentists recommend a product, instead of all five?

[Jane]

Questions are better answered with questions, such as: "Why do 9 out of 10 dentists recommend a product, instead of all 10?"

Why do 9 out of 10 dentists recommend a product, instead of 95 out of 100 dentists recommend a product?

[Airfire]

You* have forgotten to read all of the asterisks** and fine print*** that are below a survey's results****


Is a glass half empty or half full when it is spilled on the floor?





*You are unique just like everyone else
**Asterisks makes it look like I'm swearing!
***Fine Print such as this
****Results may vary. Ask your doctor today if 9.5/10 dentists are right for you.

[Hdier]

Actually, when it is spilled on the floor it is overflowing, contrary to the misconception that it is all the way empty. For more information look here (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).

Why do you specifically (waves finger towards everybody who has ever posted here, who are all conveniently standing in one group, forming a perfect, full circle) keep on posting here, even though you know you don't want to and you've tried to stop?

[Elfrun]

It's a cruel, cruel sickness and we're yet to find a cure.

Damn it.

Why is it so cold here tonight?

[curiousjane]

Because your climate has a fever. And it is only remedied by ... more cow bell!

(Or so I've heard.)

Do 9 out of 10 dentists implant hidden cameras in your mouth, so they can play it back and tell you, with eerie precision, just how often you DON'T floss?

[Wapiti]

Yes, you are correct with the Cowbell.

As for my dentist, no to the cameras but they do install RFID tracking devices between each tooth that track the dental floss usage. This is why you they want you to visit every six months. So they can read the RFID devices with the "XRay" machine.

Why does Cowbell affect the weather so much?

[Elfrun]

It has something to do with signaling aliens through the hole in the ozone layer.





Trinity added to this post, 2 minutes and 7 seconds later...

What is 'the bejezus' and how does one scare it out?

[curiousjane]

Trinity's question: " "

My answer: "xsfijweoirjwseiJISDF: S JFSDIfjwefj s!!!!!"
;)

Is that alien for "Help! I've been attacked by green M&M's!"

-----
ohhhhh .... well that works, too. See xsfijweoirjwseiJISDF under Bejezus!

[Elfrun]

Sorry sometimes my 'puter fights me!

[eMachine]

I don't see a question, but the answer is "Yes".

Are these really eggs in my Jimmy Dean Breakfast Bowl?

[Richard0612]

No. They're actually whole universes enclosed in an egg-shaped calcium dimensional container. Cracking the egg = end of existence.

What happens when two black holes try to suck each other in?

[Hdier]

A white whole is formed, which spews out everything that either black whole has sucked in. This is how humans survived, we actually were in a black hole for 5.6 trillion years then, comparatively recently, we were spewed back out when our black hole met another (they fell in love, but that's another story). Before that, we were all decent, with the greatest crime known to us was breathing to hard on someone else. Of course, the other Black Whole contained Pandora's Box (read: technology), which caused us to start wars, etc. And here we are today, all because of two black wholes that have a tragic love story which Shakespeare based Romeo and Juliet on, and one white whole which is what both of them became (their child?).

Why was my brain able to produce that, and have it all be perfectly accurate?

[ElstonGunn]

What happens when two black holes try to suck each other in?

The black hole that's a little more persuasive gets the other to sign up for the extended warranty service.

Why does no one care that Jimmy cracks corn? Have we as a society really become so desensitized to violence against vegetable foodstuffs? Have we no conscience?


Dang. It helps if I'm not an idiot and I don't forget to check the last page.

Why was my brain able to produce that, and have it all be perfectly accurate?

Because your brain is actually a figment of its own imagination. Think about it. Did it will itself into existence, or did existence will a brain into itself? Whoa, you just blew my mind.

[Airfire]

I care. I don't know who "Jimmy" is, or how one cracks corn, but I care! However, this can be better explained by Stephen Hawking (the famous vegetarian scientist who lost the use of his legs after being trampled by a herd of angry dairy cows). The ramifications of Jimmy cracking corn can be explained by his String Theory:

"When Jimmy cracks corn, it produces well known quantum vibrations, resulting in the altered motion of planets. These quantum vibrations emit particles (called Fairy Dust) that corrupt the thought processes of humans."

Thus, resulting in our society being desensitized to the act of killing and eating vegetables and disregard for our conscience.*



[B]If a tree falls in the forest and no one is able to hear it, can you calculate its diameter and velocity?



*Conscience may not be right for everyone. Consult your doctor before use.

[rwyatt365]

It's a well known fact that tree diameter is inversely proportional to the Schwartzchild Radius of a Class 3 brown hole divided by the cube of the speed of sound on Jupiter times the velocity of a sparrow carrying an anvil. While the velocity of that tree is the reciprocal of it's diameter squared times the Helmholtz Constant expressed in 14 dimensions.

Duh!!!

If a cyclone, and an anti-cyclone meet, who cries "uncle" first?

[Hdier]

The third cousin once-removed of the cyclone, who also happens to be the brother five times removed. Oh, and he's the uncle of both.

Will I ever understand the things that I say?

[Elfrun]

huh?



Why does the music genre description R&B no longer describe music that has rhythm and blues?

[Hdier]

Because it actually stands for Rollers (as in dice, in a casino) & Blackjack dealers-the two most nefarious, malicious, abhorrent, abominable and repungent types of people in the world.

Why do I feel like I just painted a huge target on my head?

[rwyatt365]

You did...by mentioning the Rollers & Blackjack cartel you have invoked their wrath. The "enforcers" will soon be there and you will pay...yes, you will pay.

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near (and do they REALLY long to be close to you)?

[Elfrun]

Cause on the day that you were born the angels got together and decided that it would be a funny joke to make a real life bird perch.



What possesses people to wear orange shirts?

[Hdier]

Because I :censored: them with :censored: and :censored:. Beyond that, I :censored: and :censored: with a little bit more :censored:.

Why is ignorance bliss?

[rwyatt365]

Actually, it's not - they're just too stupid to realize that.

Why do some people think it's cool to ride a motorcycle in shorts and a t-shirt with no shoes?

[Hdier]

Because they think that landing in the hospital until they enter a deadly coma is cool.

Why do you think it's cool to ride a motorcycle in shorts and a t-shirt with no shoes?

[Elfrun]

They're the same people who believe ignorance is bliss, don't worry natural selection gets them.


Ok, because I believe ignorance is bliss! :suspicious:


Why am I up so late?

[Hdier]

Because I manipulated you into doing so, because the trophy for the grossest choices was only spray-painted gold.

Why are you asking obvious questions?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Your muscles will go atrophy if one lacks the activity of asking obvious and rhetorical questions.

Why are people so insufferable sometimes?

[ElstonGunn]

People are insufferable because they're stoic badasses who never allow themselves to suffer.

Why is it that we can put a man on the moon, but we can't come up with a better benchmark of progress to use when our microwave ovens and DVD players don't work?

[Airfire]

Putting a man on the moon was the pinnacle moment of human intelligence. It's all been downhill from there...

Why is verb a noun?

[Hdier]

Because we've been going down hill since 1969 for some reason...

Why did I burn my pizza?

[Elfrun]

Look within for the answer.



Why is noone answering this thread?

[rwyatt365]

Because Mr Noone is on holiday in the Azores - he'll be back next Thursday, care to leave a message?

Why do wives wait until 11:30PM, Sunday night, to initiate hours-long "discussions"?

[curiousjane]

Everyone knows that a serious discussion started before midnight works best on the unsuspecting male mind. Waiting until the END of the weekend also ensure that the male will be too focused on getting the pesky discussion out of the way that he will more than likely agree to letting the female plan a shopping trip to buy $431 of new clothing, instead of, per usual, arguing against the impracticality of wasting said money on shirts and shoes that will be worn only once.

Wait. That's a little too close to being the truth for the wrong answer game.

Better: Because husbands turn into pumpkins on Sunday night at midnight, and can therefore not complain if the discussion goes at length past that time.

Why did Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod sail off in a wooden shoe?

[rwyatt365]

Only Winkin' and Blinkin' sailed off in a wooden shoe. Nod, realizing the inherent danger in setting sail in such a device in salt water, booked passage on a Norwegian Cruise Lines ship, and met the others in Barbados, where all three took a short plane hop to Miami and are currently in South Beach at a shoot of CSI Miami (I can't divulge the plot but Nod is implicated in Lt Caine's shooting - that's all I can say for now).

Why do heroes on TV, when shot, crumple and fall gently to the ground instead of collapsing like a ton of bricks?

[Elfrun]

Well they'd hardly be TV heroes if they showed a lack of grace and coordination when falling would they now?!

Why is this question rhetorical?

[rwyatt365]

Because it is framed in the manner of the famed orator, Rhett Buttler ("Frank Scarlet, I don't give a damn."). The correct spelling is rhettorical (a common mistake).

Why did I just drink a 20oz bottle of Mountain Dew just now?

[Synamon]

Because rhetorical questions answer everything.

Why does this thread exist?



aaarg You drank Mountain Dew because you sought the calm, soothing feeling of putting your feet in a cold mountain stream.