I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game

[Wapiti]

Vietnam, I hear the squid are to die for.

Why butter just one side of your toast, wouldn't both sides be better?

[Nikita]

Nothing is better when you deal with both sides. One sidedness only!

What goes better with butter?

[LionsPride]

Flies. And the blue blooded ones can even become monarchs.

Who's you're favourite monarch?

[Nikita]

King Kong.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?

[LionsPride]

Eight cowlicks, which is fifty-six in dog licks.

What is at the centre of a tootsie pop?

[Nikita]

A black hole that will suck the licker into an alternate reality.

What is reality, anyway?

[NHere]

An alternative.

Like a rock?

[LionsPride]

Like it? I'd LOVE it. I hear they are INTJ's.


Do rocks sink like stones?

[NHere]

Only when the drink like crones.

Would Syn win in a drinking contest against them?

[Nikita]

No, they roll yet somehow manage to gather moss. (irrelevant now, lol)

Which side of the tree does moss grow on?

[NHere]

The side that never gets rolled downhill.

Would you want your tuffet carpeted in moss?

[Nikita]

I carpeted my tuffet in little miss muffet...at least the parts that haven't yet decayed....

Do you eat your curds and whey?

[faedra]

Not any more than you eat your blackjacks.

How did Jack get so black?

[NHere]

*whispers*

I heard it has something to do with an underhanded deal with the King and Queen...

Any idea what he did with the fat?

[rewhu]

Jack sold it to a beanstalk-dwelling giant in desperate need of collagen injections.

What does an Englishman's blood smell like?

[NHere]

Only those with well-developed Fe-Fi would know for sure.

What does that say for the stalkers on this forum?

[nat]

Come to our side, we have cookies.

Is subliminal messaging good for health?

[faedra]

Of course it is, take the one in the Lion King for example.

What about subliminal massaging?

[memorysnap]

I missed it because my battery went dead.

Does anyone have a charger?

[curiousjane]

I have a charger. Solid oak. Long and lean. Exquisitely carved. Perfect for mutton and boiled potatoes. Only 10 gold coins to purchase.

Show me the money?

[rwyatt365]

As long as you're willing to pay the piper.

How much?

[Kathryn]

A princely sum.

Hasn't the piper been paid enough already?

[Zzyber]

Depends on the curency you are using.

Why is the sky green when it turns yellow outside?

[LionsPride]

That's not a green sky or yellow world, you're just in a sea of Greenbay Packer fans (or Edmonton Eskimos if you're north of the 49th parallel).

What's a "Packer" and why would you name a team after them?

[Kathryn]

It was a tragic mistake! The team was supposed to be called “Pacers” which, as we all know, are pace setters -- leaders of the pack. Someone goofed at registration time, added what they thought was a “silent k”, making them The Pack, or Packers for short.

Is it wrong to point out contradictions?

[curiousjane]

Packer is the singular form of the noun "Packi", or a large group of Baby Boomer tourists from the American mid-west that are typically found carrying large cameras and wearing nylon fanny packs around their waists.

Waist not, flaunt not?

Is it wrong to point out contradictions?
No. It is only wrong to contradict pointers.

[Kathryn]

No. It is only wrong to contradict pointers.

Okay. So it's alright for me to point out that you didn't end with a question?

(Never mind. You're an FP and will be excused, accordingly. Hope I didn't hurt your feelings...)

[Synamon]

This thread is a mess.... let's see if I can find a question.... oh yes... waist not, flaunt not?

I'm afraid that is incorrect. If you waist not, then you will have to flaunt your size 0. So that would be flaunt yes.

Is it alright for Kathryn to point out that CJ didn't end with a question?

[curiousjane]

Okay. So it's alright for me to point out that you didn't end with a question?

(Never mind. You're an FP and will be excused, accordingly. Hope I didn't hurt your feelings...)
It is never okay to correct me at any time. I am always right. And my feelings never get hurt.

Did you fail to notice that I did ask a question just above my quote?

[Synamon]

INTJs never fail at anything, be serious.


What is the greatest thing about being an INFP?

[curiousjane]

The greatest thing about being an INFP is the ability to read minds.

What are you thinking? ;)

[Synamon]

The exact same thing you are feeling.


Spooky isn't it?

[le Duc]

Not quite. Creepy is more it.

What gives?

[NHere]

Purportedly Santa Claus and one particular tree, but I haven't seen much proof of either.

Is it better to give than to receive?

[le Duc]

Good reception gives great listening quality.

Do you know your station?

[NHere]

I only use radial tires in the snow.

What do you drive?

[le Duc]

People crazy.

Can anyone really walk a talk?

[NHere]

Only when my pet parrot needs some exercise.

Polly wanna cracker?

[Zzyber]

Only when he has drank to much milk.

Doggy want a bone?

[Nikita]

Now now, those channels are not appropriate.

Why do men insist on having the remote?

[NHere]

All the better to keep him far away from me.

How long would a remote remoat project distract him?

[LionsPride]

Forever, he was never paying attention to what you were doing anyway.

Are tricks really only for kids?

[Wapiti]

No, the lady on the corner said her bag of tricks is strictly adults only.

What was her occupation?

[LionsPride]

She was clearly a politician soliciting voters. You can tell I had an election today...

Which party won?

[Synamon]

They all won.


Who did you vote for?

[LionsPride]

Miss Canada. I liked her platforms and she was the only one who wanted world peace. Not to mention she looked better in the swimsuit competition then the other candidates.


What's the best way to wear a sash with a tiara?

[faedra]

Around the waist. Yes, both.

Is our voting system broken?

[schwartzie]

no. and it will be even better, and much more secure when it's done by computer.

supersize that?

[faedra]

Of course not, isn't it all about the iPod Nano nowadays?

(both question and answer)

[NHere]

Nah, no.

What would an iPod and Blackberry love child look like?

[bizzz]

Aubergine-song.

What will you do if you want to answer correctly?

[reb]

lie. deny myself...wear a hair shirt and ashes, and whip myself with rose stems....

why are things always screwed up and not screwed down?

[Zzyber]

Because then it would float away.

Why is it called taking a dump when your really leaving a dump?

(I waited all day for somebody to answer Reb's question so I wouldnt have to post this...you all failed me)

[LionsPride]

Because some guy eons ago said "I'm just going to leave a dump" and the hostess was completely offended, thinking he meant her abode was a dump. Long story short, he had to promise that he and all his descendants there after, have to take out the garbage. So, now it's called "taking a dump".


Why is it that only Chinese food comes in those fancy containers?

[rwyatt365]

It's specified in the rules of the International Brotherhood of Chinese Food Packers.

So, why do they always leak?

[Nikita]

It's China's revenge on clean cut suburban America.

Why do cats meow?

[rwyatt365]

Because the sky is blue.

It turns me on?

[Nikita]

Just like the Smurfs.

Is it smurfy?

[rwyatt365]

Naturally...smurfilicious!

But, will it play in Peoria?

[Nikita]

Only if you're smoking peote.

Will you smoke it?

[LionsPride]

Nope, I'm hickory curing instead.


What does a hickory look like?

[Nikita]

Big buck teeth, ruddy skin, halitosis so bad you'd swear you see green smoke emanating from his drooling mouth, and wearing overalls, a straw hat, and smoking a pipe.


What does hickory smell like?

[LionsPride]

It smells like the taste of oily ash mixed with ginger.


Why does a person's nose turn red when they are drunk?

[Nikita]

Because they shoot their mouths off and get punched by 5 year old girls.

Why do stools have four legs?

[reb]

stools are ANIMALS! only TWO legged creatures can be sentient...

why, then, have extension ladders never been appreciated for their superior intelligence compared to step ladders?

[Kathryn]

Because, by extension, the intelligence of ladders is out of step.

Are you out of step?

[Nikita]

Yep, I'm skipping to my lou

In for a penny in for a pound?

[Kathryn]

Only if you're penny wise and pound foolish.

Can you be penny foolish and pound wise?

[Nikita]

my 2 cents are pretty heavy

How heavy are yours?

[reb]

that's kinda personal...heavy enough to keep from floating, but light enough to bare....

have you stopped beating your 's.o.' yet?

[Nikita]

Yes, it's become quite messy. But he's way past the point of screaming.

How do you like to be beaten?

[NHere]

Preferably at Cribbage, never at Scrabble.

If fans are good for cooling things down, why do so many artists like to keep them around?

[Nikita]

Because they love to hear their names chanted in a virtual whirl of activity.

What is paint made from?

[NHere]

3.14 mixed with ants.

But how do you get the different colors?

[Nikita]

You blow on them, thinking really hard of the shade you want to create.

How hard do you have to blow?

[kubrickfan]

Usually just enough to cause gail force winds. ;)

Who's to say?

[Nikita]

Father Time, of course, and his contingent of flying monkeys.

Where are the ruby slippers?

[NHere]

Usually in jail with the other detained jewel smugglers.

Want to buy a diamond mine?

[Nikita]

Only if you want to buy the Brooklyn Bridge, the deed's a beaut!

Do we have a deal?

[Zzyber]

Only if you can throw in a 50's themed restaurant.

Would there be booths in your restaurant?

[rwyatt365]

Sorry, John Wilkes was unavailable.

How much is lunch?

[Synamon]

You should always chew 36 times, that's how much.


What if you lose count?

[le Duc]

You become a baron.

Would that be ignoble?

[Synamon]

Only if you were a royal iguana.


Why would anyone want an iguana for a pet?

[le Duc]

They're not very edible.

Why would anyone want a peeve for a pet?

[LionsPride]

Because all the pet names were taken.

Do you have a pet name?

[le Duc]

I call my pet Pat.

Can you put two and two together?

[Synamon]

Nope, you have to put two and two fourgether.


Why are we gathered here?

[le Duc]

Because we're not all there.

Which came first, the drumstick or the omelet?

[LionsPride]

The omelet, the drum stick comes after.

ba-dum-bum-CHING!

Who invented the drum roll?

[le Duc]

The organizers got tired of the annual egg roll.

What's distinguishes a roll from a biscuit?

[Synamon]

All the letters are different. D'uh.


Can you tell the difference between X and Y?

[LionsPride]

Y X? Because I said so.

Who crowned Elvis as the King?

[le Duc]

The one who crowned him did so as a regent, actually.

Can you fake it?

[LionsPride]

Never! If I did, I'd be knocked off. :dead:

What brand do you buy?

[le Duc]

Brand new.

What do you know?

[rwyatt365]

I don't.

Do you?

[LionsPride]

No thanks, I only drink the brown sodas. Neon yellow seems, er, questionable to me.

What's Coke's secret recipe?

[le Duc]

Yes, recipe is the secret. I doubt it would sell well if they just made it off the cuff each time.

Are you tired of dealing with idioms?

[Synamon]

Yes, also moratoriums.


How long does a minute of silence last?

[Liason]

until the eterninty of uproar begins again.

what makes one life worth more than another?

[Zzyber]

The age of the solar year between them.

How many stars have you captured for your collection?

[Wapiti]

None yet but I'm stalking a few of them. Hope to catch one any day now.

Where do bubbles go when they die?

[LaoTzu]

None yet but I'm stalking a few of them. Hope to catch one any day now.

Where do bubbles go when they die?

They are cremated and made into pencils (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

What does peanut butter taste like??

[Nikita]

Chicken.

What does bone marrow taste like?

[LionsPride]

They are cremated and made into pencils (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

What does peanut butter taste like??

*cringes*

What the...:suspicious:...Pencils?

*cringes again*

Anyway, on with the game...

Bone marrow tastes like flies, with their feet.

If flies taste with their feet, what do they smell with?

[Wapiti]

They smell along with dead meat, cow manure, rubbish, whatever they're sitting on.

If you could fly, would you need 2 feet?

[Nikita]

No, you land on your belly and help add layers to the earth's crust with your peeled flesh.


What color is blood before it's spilled?

[Wapiti]

Silly, everyone knows it's pink.

If blood could read, which book would it read first?

[Synamon]

Interview with a Vampire.


Why has no one dressed up their avatar as a vampire for Halloween yet?

[LionsPride]

Because vampire avatars suck.


Why have none of the wolves become werewolves?

[Nikita]

Because they don't know where to go to become them.

Do you howl at the moon?

[le Duc]

I generally just why at the moon.

When is low noon?

[Nikita]

Tomorrow, all day.

Why is tomorrow called tomorrow?

[LionsPride]

Yesterday was already taken.

Is it next week or the week after next that the world ends?

[le Duc]

The world is spherical. There are no ends.

Can I get a piece of peace?

[LionsPride]

No, the only thing left is a sliver of liver.

Why are werewolves allergic to silver?

[le Duc]

It's the gold standard in mythical allergens.

Have you seen my th?

[Nikita]

On every street corner.

How much do you charge?

[LionsPride]

Not a cent less than the going rate. The coming rate is subject to change.

Why do people resist change?

[Nikita]

Because they can't cash it in.

What do you do with change?

[le Duc]

Vote, apparently.

Have you ever had a pocket change?

[Nikita]

Yep, it changed into a motorcycle sidecar.

Wanna ride?

[LionsPride]

No thanks, I've already had a side of car.

Why is car the short version of automobile?

[le Duc]

Because calling them cards would sound silly.

Why do we have manuals for our autos?

[LionsPride]

Because calling them womanuals would sound silly.

What's the best colour for a car?

[le Duc]

Solid.

How can you repair if you only have one?

[Nikita]

Tie both arms behind your back of course.

Do you fear the reaper?

[le Duc]

I sow fear.

What is the nature of the best?

[Nikita]

A beastly one.

What is yours?

[LionsPride]

Mine's just a call, 1-800-NATURES.

How come cars have four tires, but are never tired?

[le Duc]

Mine had to be re-tired once.

Is it even possible to re-invent the wheel?

[LionsPride]

Axely, it's been done several times, the last time was during the dirty 30's.

Why were the 30's dirty?

[Nikita]

Because they were sandwiched between the 20s and 40s, they put the trois in menage a trois.

Why were the 70s so groovy?





NikitaNT added to this post, 126 minutes and 32 seconds later...

OMG I'm so freaking bored I'm answering myself. I can't believe it's still so early, I'm going nuts.


That's when Stella was born.

Are you psychedellic?

[LionsPride]

No, I'm more of a stimulant.


Is it true salt can kill you?

[Nikita]

A salt can, but I prefer terry cloth bats.

What temperature should the perfect bath be?

[LionsPride]

Well, I don't know about you, but Luke likes his baths warm.

Do you think that's a coincidence?

[Nikita]

Not as much as it is a happenstance.

Oh no! What happened?

[LionsPride]

Darth Vader is Luke's Aunt, weren't you watching?

How many Aunts do you have?

[Nikita]

I have a whole farm. But I keep them behind plexi glass. I like to watch them slowly suffocate.

Where does sand come from?

[LionsPride]

It's the remains of the crushed hopes and dreams of children. The sand in Hawaii alone is generated from revealing Santa Claus isn't real.

Where does water come from?

[NHere]

I'm afraid you'll have to buy the book (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.,M1).

From whence comes the wind?

[LionsPride]

It's caused by the difference in air pressure between the atmosphere and the vacuum of nothingness between the ears of the incompetent.

What causes the wind to prevail?

[Synamon]

The wind doesn't want the groom to see her face before the ceremony of course, so must prevail.


Why do bride's wear veils?

[LionsPride]

So the groom can't see her check out the best man.

Who is the best man?

[Synamon]

George Clooney, or he thinks he is anyway.


What are the three most important qualities in a man?

[LionsPride]

Strength of self
Understanding of others
Being able to kill the spiders


What did the spiders ever do to you?

[le Duc]

It pains me to remember.

Are there any other perfectly rational fears?

[Nikita]

The fear of happiness and falling clouds - fog is the descent of the devil. It cripples quite understandably.


Why did the angel fall?

[dragonsscout]

Because he was hit by several bullets, which knocked him off balance. He was up again in no time.

Why does the online homework program that I'm using suck so much?

[Nikita]

Because you haven't paid it the 5 bucks yet.


Of what is money made?

[Vagrant]

It's made of small pieces of bread.

Who's the president?

[Nikita]

I am. I've destroyed the Constitution and have declared myself Empress of America.

Who was the world's first Emperor?

[Synamon]

The one with no clothes.


Who invented clothes?

[LionsPride]

Clothespins. They felt the name clothespin was silly for a nose pinching device so they created clothes to cover up the whole name affair.

How do you play the name game?

[Stone]

By hitting people on the forehead. Their names go out and fall on the ground.

Why do clocks exist?

[LionsPride]

So that the once rare and exotic cuckoo bird could have a stable home.

Do politically correct cuckoo's call "poor mental health" instead of cuckoo?

[Synamon]

No, they say "I'm okay, you have a mannerism".


What would Miss Manners say?

[LionsPride]

Pull my finger.

Do you have your fingers in every pie?

[Synamon]

Just the plum pie.


Is a thumb a finger?

[LionsPride]

No, it's just posing as one. That's why they call it an opposable thumb.

Why is a thumbs up a good thing?

[dragonsscout]

Because it means that you're going to eventually die and go to heaven (up). :thumbsup:

Why is the sky blue?

[Vagrant]

Because it doesn't like the color orange.

Why are plants green?

[dragonsscout]

Because they feel sick from eating too much.

Why is darker skin more resistant to the sun?

[Vagrant]

Because it likes sticking it to the big man.

Why does it hurt to fall?

[Gloed]

because the floor is covered with fluffy pillows.

what do you use as a substitute for a pillow when you don't have a pillow?

[LionsPride]

Endangered animals.

Why do children like teddy bears?

[Gloed]

because the inventor of the teddy bear couldn't come up with an animal more furry than a bear.

what's even better if you add a bit of honey to it?

[Vagrant]

Sulfuric Acid

Why is vinegar so good in some foods?

[Nikita]

Because it makes everything taste like chicken.

Why does chicken taste like chicken?

[LionsPride]

It's too insecure to fight the peer pressure to taste like chicken.

What's the recipe for shrinking heads?

[theJarrett]

Liberal application of beer and T.V.

What is the meaning of Leif?

[MrJibbles]

The meaning of life is NOT to worship MrJibbles and do whatever he tells you.

What happens when you put an egg int he microwave?

[schwartzie]

it gets lonely after a while.

what happens when you put an egg into a pile of kittens?

[LionsPride]

Friday's Child calls that an omelette.

Are eggs born bad or does society make them that way?

[theJarrett]

A Velociraptor hatches and a totally awesome manga is born.

Why can't we have a Baldr'sday?

[Nikita]

Because everyone already knows what that is.

What is Baldr'sday?

[LionsPride]

*sigh* It's not 'what' it's who and everyone knows who Baldr is.

Who is Baldr?

[Nikita]

You with alopecia.

How is hair made?

[schwartzie]

she's fine, thanks for asking.
How is herrman?

[Vagrant]

she's fine, thanks for asking.
How is herrman?

Doing very transsexual.

What was He-Man's catch phrase?

[Zzyber]

By our four powers combined! I am He-man!

Why did heart have such a hard time fighting crime?

[LionsPride]

Sam Spade kept beating him to the case.

Why are police officers sometimes called flat foots?

[Synamon]

The origin of the phrase was actually 'fleet of foot', but then they got cars to drive and didn't have to chase down criminals on foot anymore. The accelerator pedal of a car is flat and the term evolved.


Did that sound convincing?

[Zzyber]

You would win in a game of Balderdash.

Why isnt Monopoly an Olympic sport?

[Synamon]

The exchange rates on the Monopoly money fluctuate too much between countries.


Would you rather own Park Place or Boardwalk and why?

[Zzyber]

Statistically you are more likely to have sombody to land on Park Place than Boardwalk. Besides Park Place just sounds more posh and I could up my rent when nobody is paying attention. :devilish:

If you were to own 90% of the worlds underwater properties what would you do with them and why?

[LionsPride]

I'd farm. You know, wake up at dawn and herd the urchins to better feeding grounds, weed the kelp beds...

Are urchin's poisonous?

[Zzyber]

Not since the late 80's urchin incident. During this monumentus occasion the poision that usually tainted their blood was systematically burned off due to an agle bloom that covered the entire atlantic ocean and part of the Indian ocean.

If the dead sea suddenly lost its salt content would they have to change the name?

[Synamon]

I suppose they might have to change the name of salt, I'd not thought about it before.


What would you suggest we rename salt to?

[Lupin]

aSphALT....worth a try, that's if you like the taste of tarmac?

Now if you said, Caramac, that would make a lot more sense to the girlie with the sweet tooth sporting the tache.

*Finally come back to the fold after a dreary absence having achieved the dreaded credits necessary to have a dull piece of paper to say that I'm slightly more than a paperclip counter (no offence to the "stationery fanciers" and the other cleptomaniacs amongst the forum members that is)*

Where does integrity end and corruption start?

[Synamon]

When you get your degree. Congratulations!


What will you corrupt first?

[Nikita]

Santa Claus on Christmas Eve.

How will you deck the halls?

[le Duc]

A left hook. Works every time.

What does nice mean?

[NHere]

Nice makes a mean Ratatouille...if I am to believe what I hear.

Under what circumstances would you eat a mean pasta?

[Nikita]

To teach it a lesson.

De diablo?

[Liason]

yes, i am diablo

why do people always think my avatar is condemning?

[Setch Dreskar]

Because the forum is designed for every other type with no assosciation or desire to appease INTJ's you see it was named that for Shits and Giggles, but when Shits died Giggles stopped caring and the name stuck

Why is Uwe Boll still alive?

[kubrickfan]

Because his soul can't rest until he makes that perfect movie.

Is there a good Uwe Boll movie?

[rwyatt365]

Of course there is, but if we tell you the title we'd have to kill you.

Was that too harsh?

[Elfrun]

Yes and quite frankly I'm disgusted Rwyatt, I will never see you in the same light again. For shame!


Have I missed anything worth while?

[rwyatt365]

Yes, you've missed the shame and anguish heaped on my head for being too harsh.

But, does that really matter?

[Elfrun]

Yes, deeply, other peoples shame and anguish makes me feel better about myself. Shame on you for letting that happen.


Is 'what if' a fair question?

[Zzyber]

Technically its not a question but a statement.

Why is a question mark the only way to designate a question?

[eternalenigma]

Technically its not a question but a statement.

Why is a question mark the only way to designate a question?

A question needed a designator after the French asked the Americans too many questions about improper things and then retracted their questions declaring them NOT to be questions, and vice versa, declaring their offensive statements about the Americans to be questions. Due to all the confusion that led to the Americans to tell the French that they were on thier own in the war, we decided a proper designator for the question was only appropriate. There's no way around it now.


Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

[Moriarty]

Oscar Wilde, in his groundbreaking Jurassic avian research, discovered direct paleontological evidence of early chickens sitting upon the nests of velociraptors. Through a process known as the trans membrane Eggshell Skull Rule, the varied genetic information of the early chickens were passed to the unhatched embryos of the reptilian young, which eventually caused them to produce feathers and nuggets.

He is often quoted with regard to this monumental discovery as saying,"Careful..even fossil chickens have sharp teeth."


Why does this new deodorant makes my armpits itch?

[rwyatt365]

Because new deodorant is actually grown from "seed deodorant" from used deodorant cartridges. A side-effect is that certain malignant bacteria migrate towards sunlight which causes them to deposit on the surface of the new deodorant, thus causing the itch.

Why isn't the world flat?

[Nikita]

Because I inflated it with my bicycle pump.

Why do wheels roll?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Because Olber's Paradox was resolved by the Big Bang Theory, stating that cosmic radiation background has redshifted from 4000 K to 3k. Our night skies are therefore dark. Duh?

How come I can't match wits with Mensa?

[Nikita]

Because you answer the wrong questions.

Have you tested for Densa?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

No not really, but I've tried Kensa.

Have you tested for Bensa?

[Nikita]

I've been blackballed. :cry:


Will you cry for me, Argentina?

[rwyatt365]

Argentina is done crying after what happened last summer?

Has Bolivia gotten over it?

[curiousjane]

Yes, but Chile will never be the same.

Honeydew?

[Synamon]

You want this (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) thread.


Or did you mean Snookems?

[curiousjane]

I meant Book-Its (at Pizza Hut!)

Did I just show my age?

[Nikita]

Not at all, granny.

How old are you?

[Setch Dreskar]

Old is relative term, I am hoping you mean my physical body, as the scientists have proven the brain is suspended in time when it comes to INTJ's making them far wiser then they appear, this also explains the great misunderstanding when Ike failed to stop the slogan 'We Like Ike' and shunned himself forever

Anybody buy that?

[Nikita]

It wasn't worth my 2 cents.


Give me my money back?

[Setch Dreskar]

I already spent it on this avatar

Why is the Godfather, in this case film, so good?

[Nikita]

Because he's bad to the bone.

Why do they sing kumbayah?

[NHere]

Because they forgot the lyrics to "Dona Nobis Pacem."

What does it take to "know one, teach one"?

[kubrickfan]

Quite simpley a Two.

Did that answer your question?

[eternalenigma]

There are no answers, only questions. This answer is only right or wrong depending on how you look at it. I suggest upside down.

Why couldn't all the king's horses and all the king's men put Humpty Dumpty back together again?

[Moriarty]

Humpty Dumpty couldn't be put back together because all the King's horses were being misappropriated. Instead of lending their hooves to the insurmountable task at hand, they should have lent their glue so the King's men could have had a proper adhesive for Humpty. The King's Glue Factory was apparently offline at the time...

How much delicious horseradish can I eat before my sinuses disintegrate?

[rwyatt365]

That is an oxymoron; horseradish cannot be delicious.

Since when was oxy so mentally challenged?

[curiousjane]

Since when was oxy so mentally challenged?
Shoot. You beat me. The answer to YOUR question is: since the beginning of time. The answer to HIS question was:

2 liters of delicious horseradish = 1 melted sinus passage. Therefore, you could consume 4 liters before your nose is incapacitated.

What is the correlation between horse and radish?

[rewhu]

What is the correlation between horse and radish?

*chomps on pipe*

Well darling, when a horse and radish love each other very much they get married and then the stork brings them horseradishes.

What costume should I wear for Halloween?

[curiousjane]

A horseradish. :)

What would you rather wear?

[Zzyber]

A radish dressed up as a horse...or vice versa...either way would be fun!

When does far go to far?

[eternalenigma]

When I correct your grammar by stating "too".

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

[Zzyber]

*smacks his forehead in exasperation* *grumbles something unintelligible about bad grammar*

If I remember the story from my childhood it was exactly 75 loaves.

But if you divide by zero will the world really implode?

[Elfrun]

No, this is a common misconception that has been perpetuated by those who would stop us trying. Don’t be taken in by their propaganda and please, continue to divide free from fear.


Who are 'those' people :suspicious:

[Nikita]

The Brady Bunch and their jug of jumping imps.

Why won't they stop singing?

[Snail]

They'll die if they stop singing because they will forget to breathe.

Do you hate me?

[Elfrun]

Not at all, I just don't want you in my garden.


Is it wrong to put her in a bucket of salt water?

[Snail]

*screams and hides* It's legal, but it would be bad for your karma.

Why would you want to?

[Elfrun]

Everything must be tried at least once in life :smug:



Should I start a fight?

[LionsPride]

Only if you'll be there to end it. Remember, only YOU can prevent forest fighters.

Did Smokey ever marry?

[NHere]

Smokey made merry last weekend.

When is time up?

[LionsPride]

North.

What colour is zigzag?

[Gone7]

zig is red and zag is green there across on the color spectrum

Whats the easiest way to stop a superficial person?

[Snail]

Tear its flesh off of its bones with your fingernails until it dies.

Why don't we start a revolution against them?

[NHere]

Because the motivation would only be skin deep.

Would it not be better to rub it in?

[le Duc]

Ah, but there's the rub.

Did the rubber really want to meet the road?

[rwyatt365]

Yes, it was an illicit affair, doomed from the start. But they both persisted, and it ended in tragedy.

Do you know the muffin man?

[Wapiti]

Yeah, thats the curtain guy from the NF Club.

Where do threads go when they die?

[Sir Paul]

To Europe, they like to take the opportunity to sample the wines in France and visit some historical ruins.

What is salami used for?

[Moriarty]

Salami is a traditional Arabic gift, and often heard in the greeting "Ahh Salami I like 'em". They are most appropriately presented between friends OR strangers as a gesture of good culinary faith.

Who doesn't like salami?

[PortInStorm]

Surprisingly, King Saul.

What's the voltage of a "shocking event"?