I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game

[Synamon]

Scoff, I don't play with dolls.


What would you call someone who has a sticker collection?

[PoeticBohemian]

An oblate congruent dissimilitude.
...with a side order of broccoli.

Do worms sneeze?

[faedra]

Yep, with their eyes open and all.

What's the best way to stop a sneeze?

[LionsPride]

With a road block and 50 state troopers. Oh wait, you asked what could stop a sneeze...

What do the people in Albuquerque call themselves?

[Fridays Child]

Blessed.

What time are visiting hours in Albuquerque?

[gadjitfreek]

Whatever time the hot chili pepper flatulence explodes from its denizens.

Here's a New Mexico question:

Red or green?

[Wapiti]

Green, red is sloooooooow.

Green or yellow?

[NHere]

Green is okay as long as it ain't yeller...still trainable.

B&W or BMW?

[faedra]

BOW.

Long, recurve or compound?

[NHere]

As long as it doesn't reflect my arrow.

Quiver or quaver?

[Ligda]

Quebec is where they all are, Dr. NH.

What will be the world's next invention that will trump the computer?

[gadjitfreek]

The Donald Trump Android.

What is the difference between an orange?

[NHere]

Usually chocolate. Dark chocolate.

How many threads does it take to make a forum?

[LionsPride]

Depends on how you are going to weave them.

Why do sunflowers follow the Sun?

[dragonsscout]

Because they're waiting for a shipment of missiles with which to shoot down the sun. They watch and wait...

What's a cam?

[gadjitfreek]

He's the head Low Man (can-toi) from Stephen King's Hearts In Atlantis. What's the Dark Tower?

[dragonsscout]

It's a really big dictionary (My first thought was something inappropriate).

Why do bunnies have such big, sharp teeth?

[Synamon]

All the better to eat you with.


What's up doc?

[rewhu]

Well I did talk to a doctor today and here's what's up - I have some strange form of food poisoning. Apparently I bought a batch of tainted lollipops from a very shady purple dragon.

If Chow Yun-Fat were a potato chip would he be so delicious he'd eat himself?

[Synamon]

Yes, he is yummy.


Why would anyone buy lollipops from a dragon?

[LionsPride]

Because vampires only sell suckers.

What did Dragonscout do when he found Synamon?

[Synamon]

Shhhhh he hasn't found me yet, he's colorblind and can't see purple.


Why are you bleu?

[bladeserver]

Shhhhh he hasn't found me yet, he's colorblind and can't see purple.


Why are you bleu?
Because I have my cord on.

Why do clouds float?

[LionsPride]

They don't, they just fall sideways.

If I'm locked in a room with a teacup, two straws and a turnip, would I finally be free of hearing about Paris Hilton?

[Synamon]

Well no, she'd be right in there with you, who do you think the turnip is?


Can you get blood from a turnip?

[LionsPride]

I don't know, but I'm willing to try.

*starts chainsaw*

Where did that vacuous blond go?

[Wapiti]

He died. (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

Who would do such a thing?

[dragonsscout]

A smurf.

What's Synamon's profile pic?

[faedra]

A lollipop!

*steals it*

A dragon chasing a zebra.

What's dragonsccout's avatar?

[dragonsscout]

Obviously, it's Spartacus on the back of a pet dragon, while looking out for other dragons that might be in the area. He has a bag over his shoulder that's filled with rodent carcasses to reanimate in case of an attack by dragons.

Is faedra's screen name pronounced fee-draw?

[NHere]

No, that's the short-order illustrator sitting on the corner.

What's the best way to get a 5-year-old to sit still?

[schwartzie]

Tell them tacet for a movement (or is that a 2 1/2 year old?)

O where oh where can she be?

[Synamon]

Right behind you. BOO!


What costume will you wear for hallowe'en?

[schwartzie]

*screams. faints* :faint: *sits back up* a dragon!!

mommy?

[rewhu]

Because I have my cord on.


LOL [insert rimshot here]


Hi, this is Mommy. I'm not available to take your call but please leave a message and I'll get back to you. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

When you cut a beet open it looks like a lollipop, so why doesn't it taste like one?

[Synamon]

That only works if it is a sugar beet. :yuck:


What is your favorite vegetable and why?

[reb]

gramma...she's on life support, and she's named me in her will....

what's the connection between darwin and bananas?

[dragonsscout]

Darwin created bananas when the world was young. Lo, he comes now, in this hour of despair!

Why is the Librarian (reb's avatar) not real?

[schwartzie]

Tis real. You are just in the wrong part of the University, where he's Unseen.

Isn't there a bloody remedy for alzheimer's yet?

[NHere]

No, but there's a perfectly sanitized one available OTC.

How many raindrops make a flood?

[Nikita]

3

What kind of gas do you put into an electric car?

[dragonsscout]

Sugar! It's to feed the horses that make the horsepower.

Did Synamon's avatar become amazing awesome recently?

[schwartzie]

syns avatar is sugar lolly powered.

I wonder if she gives rides?

[faedra]

Sure, and they're even free! Pity there's not much of a scenic view from the stomach.

Now how did I know that?

[NHere]

Don't worry, the scars and stripes aren't that obvious.

What color is your flag?

[faedra]

Burnt Sienna.

What color are oranges?

[Wapiti]

pink, just like limes.

Duct tape or bailing wire?

[schwartzie]

duc tape

taverne de duc or tavern du non-vets?

[Wapiti]

non-vets du yu wuwuwu, shine my shu with kung fu, wuhu in blu

whats with u?

[Gloed]

what ? you don't like my new fluorescent pink rain jacket ?

what do you have against rodents ?

[NHere]

No charges have been filed recently...and the books look clean. Guess you'll just have to let them go.

Where does time fly to?

[Synamon]

Jamaica.

Yo man, what is island time?

[NHere]

Time fo' watchin' da pool boy...

I've been told that all the logic in the world is really on an island somewhere - can you please tell me which island it is?

[Synamon]

Utopia (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

Can we all go live there?

[NHere]

Yeah but you have to pass through denial first.

And what's with the sign, "Closed for Renovation" on it?

[LionsPride]

The "Under Construction" sign was undergoing renovations.

Would the island be invite only?

[NHere]

Logically speaking, yes.

Would you recognize the invitation if you received it?

[LionsPride]

I'd never receive the invite. Nature abhors logical missives much like it abhors vacuums. That's why Mother Nature invented the post office.

What are post offices for anyway?

[NHere]

Safely collecting wayward logic, lest it cause a public hazard.

Can logic infect e-mail?

[LionsPride]

I hope so, because it certainly isn't there inherently...

No. Teams of good natured innocents work around the clock to vaccinate all email from possible logic contamination by forwarding all the kitten pictures/hotmail warnings and hidden worms to people everywhere...

Have you read that great email joke yet?

[Fridays Child]

There aren't any great email jokes. Just "this is so freakingly funny best evah joke" emails. Sigh.

Why are they invariably stupid?

[NHere]

The one about the worm that met Satan and asked if the keys to the golfer's Ferrari were owned by the Priest, Rabbi, and Imam were stolen by Sarah Palin? Nah, not yet.

Was it any good?

There aren't any great email jokes. Just "this is so freakingly funny best evah joke" emails. Sigh.

Why are they invariably stupid?

See answer above.

Who will save us from the scourge that is e-mail forwards?

[LionsPride]

*points*

I nominate Friday's Child!


But what might be the cost of our salvation?

[NHere]

Indeed, only the squid can save us. Sadly, no calamari for a month afterwards.

Is that a price you are willing to pay?

[dragonsscout]

No, calamari is so tasty!

If you could sprout wings and fly, would you?

[NHere]

Probably I wouldn't have much choice, dead bodies incubate fly larvae quite nicely without special permission.

What color are the eyes of a fly?

[LionsPride]

Well, in the Kleenex I smush them in, they are sorta puce.

When they were picking a name for the colour puce, why didn't they just use 'ugly'?

[NHere]

The ancient monk transcriber was actually going for "puke" but sneezed.

What is the origin of "maroon"?

[Nikita]

the blood of the fallen angels painting the earth's core


If fire tastes of desire and ice will suffice, what are the chances of apocalypse by petrification?

[NHere]

Apparently not so good as by putrification.

Why does Christmas come but once a year?

[Nikita]

So the children's plans for world domination are thwarted by increasing reliance on presents after long periods of good behavior.

What is the origin of St. Nick?

[NHere]

Somebody has to go around and steal all the toys to be redistributed for Christmas.

What happens after it goes around?

[Nikita]

They all fall down.

What happens after they all fall down?

[NHere]

Something about building them up with brick and stone, and raising a lot of taxes.

What do your taxes pay for?

[Nikita]

The debt accrued by the Freemasons' drug trades in Colombia.

What is the national anthem of Colombia?

[dragonsscout]

La Marseillaise! (I love that anthem!)

Why do Barbies have such long necks?

[Nikita]

Because Ken uses them to floss his nether regions.

Why does the world no longer have only one continent?

[dragonsscout]

Because Marduk and Zeus had a climactic duel, which broke apart the continents.

Why do barbies have anatomically inaccurate 'nether regions?'

[Nikita]

So men don't get any sick ideas.


Why does a light bulb symbolize a brilliant idea?

[nat]

Because light bulb was made by a brilliant guy.

What heals cavities?

[LionsPride]

Suggesting I need to go to the dentist. They've healed! It's a miracle I tells yah!

Who invented tooth paste?

[Synamon]

Archibald Paste. He was actually attempting to invent hair growth salve.


What do you use tooth paste for?

[LionsPride]

Repairing broken combs.

Does this thread ever sound like a kid's horrible joke book to anyone else?

[Synamon]

No, I often use the fantastic advice in this thread in real life.


Don't you?

[LionsPride]

And Jezebel said unto thee, go forth and spread the teachings of my forum for these words are gospel and shall guide thee into the light of eternal salvation.....Or something like that. I was listening to my MP3 player at the time.

Why is parallel parking so difficult for people?

[Nikita]

Because they haven't learned the Electric Slide.

Why does a foot have 12 inches?

[Synamon]

Because it is a duodecopeed. (Just cause I made it up doesn't mean it doesn't exist, check out the Philosophy section if you don't believe me)


Is everything divisible by twelve?

[Nikita]

Everything except 12.

What are the 12 planets in our solar system?

[LionsPride]

Larry, Curly, Moe, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Tiberius. Dopey, Sneezy, Grumpy, Doc, Bashful, Happy, Sleepy, used to be planets, but now they've been downgraded to Dwarf planets, which aren't really planets at all. Pluto had this to say about the whole thing "woof woof." Couldn't have said it better myself.


Which one is closest to the Sun?

[faedra]

The Son.

How far?

[LionsPride]

About 3,478,924,752,842,894,245,764,432,669,323.053 hours on foot and 3.8 seconds if you wave your towel hitchhike.


Going my way?

[NHere]

Faedra: Just keep going. If you don't hear me answer, it's far enough.

LP: Apparently, though possibly not.

What use is a duodecopeed?

[faedra]

To peel vegetables.

Do you have one?

[Synamon]

No.


Can I borrow yours?

[Fireath]

This is a purely communist society. You can't borrow something from me that I don't own any more than you do.

When was the last time you raced a hot rod?

[LionsPride]

Yesterday in fact. I pointed at this buff guy named Rod and said "You're Klingon!"

Where does the term 'juggle' come from?

[Wapiti]

It was started by a spanish individual trying to say huggle.

Why does bread dry out so quickly?

[Synamon]

Because you put it into the toaster and pushed down the lever. They call that toast by the way.

What is the best thing to have on toast?

[Wapiti]

Sex.

Is that possible?

[Synamon]

Let's find out ;) (wrong answer thread people so don't freak)
(although with all the crumbs it's probably a lot like sex on a beach, damned sand)

Would that be better with buttered toast?

[Wapiti]

No, I think the friction coefficient would be more ideal with the use of blackberry jam, seedless of course.

What goes best on blackberry pie?

[Nikita]

Blackbird gizzards and raw frog legs.

What is the origin of the word "crust"?

[faedra]

Rust forming a crust around crus (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).

What's the best way to hypnotize someone?

[NHere]

Well, your avatar seems to be a good start.

:wideeyed:??

[faedra]

:flirt:!!

What're you looking at?

[NHere]

Something smaller than a breadbox.

What could be better for mine eyes?

[faedra]

The lack of a computer.

What's my line?

[gadjitfreek]

A tesseract.

When is cheese not cheese?

[faedra]

When it's not on a pizza.

What else would you like on your pizza?

[LionsPride]

I like an extra z, it gives it more pizazz...


Who invented the sequin?

[faedra]

The queen of Sweden.

Who is she anyway?

[Fireath]

My little sister, Hilary Duff.

When will you learn?

[rewhu]

Never. *proudly dons dunce cap*

If an evil humaniod robot and a giant snail had a love child, what would be the name of the resulting new species?

[Synamon]

rewhu. (that was an easy one)


Is Spock whispering sweet nothings in Kirk's ear in rewhu's avatar?

[Fireath]

No.

Why did Adam/Eve eat the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil?

[Synamon]

Because the flying spagetti monster told them to.


What kind of sauce goes best with the flying spagetti monster?

[Fireath]

Failsauce (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

Why was the flying spaghetti monster in the Garden of Eden?

[Synamon]

The FSM was there stalking the serpent, it had a little crush. :lovestruck:


Who was your first crush?

[LionsPride]

Orange, but I had an affair with Grape. Oh that luscious purple...

What's the story with cream soda?

[Nikita]

It's horny.

Can you fuel a jet pack with carbonation?

[LionsPride]

Don't be silly the Carbo Nation is a small country next to Proteinistan and neither would make good jet fuel.

What's the national anthem of the Carbo Nation?

[faedra]

C is for Cookie.

What else is C for?

[Nikita]

Quantum physics.

Where does a worm hole go?

[LionsPride]

Here----> o


If I have two apples and you have three apples, how many does he have?

[Nikita]

He has 6 oranges.

Why is there a pentagram at the core of every apple?

[faedra]

To attract worms.

Why are we at food yet again?

[Nikita]

Because you're hungry. We've been monitoring you. We know these things. Don't turn around.


Who was the first spy to use surveillance equipment?

[LionsPride]

Waldo.

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Where is Waldo anyway?

[faedra]

Behind me.

What's the punishment for looking?

[Nikita]

You will be put into a candy striper and become Walda.

What does Little Bo Peep use her candy canes for?

[faedra]

To peep. You see, they're actually hollow. Only don't tell anyone.

Where did she get them from?

[Nikita]

They're made from the bones of the sheep. She gets angry sometimes.

What part of the brain controls the anger function?

[rewhu]

There's a part that controls anger? Stop making things up. Nobody likes a liar.

What ever happened to spelling women as womyn?

[LionsPride]

Heavy inflation on y's everywhere. It just became uneconomical.


Who declared the law "supply and demand".

[Nikita]

The Hooker's Guild.

What is the origin of prostitution?

[MindOverMatter]

The Pickle

Who's the man in the yellow suit?

[Nikita]

That Yellow Bastard.


Under what conditions would you eat yellow snow?

[MindOverMatter]

If there was chocolate next to it.

Who was the first president of the usa?

[Nikita]

Anna Nicole Smith.

What does the Preamble to the U.S. Constitution state?

[Zzyber]

That once upon a time we were indebted to Inuits for the freedom to eat anything we want.

Where did the last Dodo go?

[faedra]

*burp* oh, you're asking me? I don't know. *licks lips*

What would dodos go best with?

[MindOverMatter]

diet coke.

What time is it?

[Nikita]

Time to exert mind over matter.

Why do male penguins carry the egg?

[faedra]

Because the females are clumsy.

Why do male seahorses give birth?

[Nikita]

Because it attracts more females.

Why do geneticists call the female gene X and the male gene Y?

[Zzyber]

Because Alpha and Omega were already taken.

When did the earth first develop life?

[kubrickfan]

When I woke up.

What's really at the end of the rainbow?

[Zzyber]

A taco bell abused porta potty.

Why do we look for monsters under the bed?

[Nikita]

Because our parents sleep under there.

Who invented the tooth fairy?

[Librorum]

The man behind the curtain.

Where does continental crust come from?

[Zzyber]

The monsters under the bed. Had to make you fall asleep sometime.

When will Japan take over the world?

[kubrickfan]

Next year at 9.09.09.

Does God like Tuna?

[Zzyber]

No. He wanted to cast it into the fiery pit but reluctantly forgave it at the last second. Long story involving Pangaea breaking up.

Why do spiders use webs.

[rewhu]

Because they lack the opposabe thumbs necessary to handle a 9mm.

Exactly how many mph is needed to be considered living life "in the fast lane"?

[Zzyber]

If I remember correctly it was 88 mph.

Why do animals fascinate people so much they put them in zoos?

[Snail]

Because it isn't socially acceptable to put people in zoos anymore.

Why do I even bother trying to connect if I am inevitably rejected each time?

[Nikita]

Because everyone loves a reject.

Who invented french fries?

[Snail]

The Chinese, most likely. It seems like everything is from China anymore.

Are Polish sausages made from poles?

[enWTFp]

Yes, officially from north poles strictly, but they also put some south poles to illegally reduce the cost. That is, in the unlikely case that I know what Polish sausages are.

Subject to what base do we log in?

[faedra]

If I remember correctly it was base 88.

What about logging ln?

[reb]

there are constraints on how much you can log; the forest service, in general, is the controller of 'how many bored feet'.

how many bored feet do you have?

[Snail]

Just one, and one foot that is happy.

What kind of music do you critters like?

[NHere]

Anything that meets our criteria.

What meets your criteria for lunch?

[Zzyber]

Anything that bites back so that I have to spar it with my fork.

How many times have you been in a sword fight?

[NHere]

My mom always told me never to run with scissors.

Which is stronger: blood, water or wine?

[Zzyber]

If I'm not mistaken its a mixture of all three with water being only a 3 drop mixture.

Why do pigs dance when the moon is full?

[taintedkitty]

Just as lunar gravity influences the tides, it affects bacon molecules - creating a seizure-like movement, often mistaken for dance.

Where has my wit gone?

[faedra]

as defined here (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.[2]), wit noun 4 a: a person of superior intellect : thinker b: an imaginatively perceptive and articulate individual especially skilled in banter or persiflage
Here I am! :cheesy:

Where has my dinner gone?

[Nikita]

I hear Zzyber's stomach is no longer growling...

What would you do if I growled at you?

[Snail]

I'd withdraw into my shell until the threat had passed.

What do you do in hostile situations?

[Nikita]

Turn the perps into cockroaches and smite them with my mighty foot.

What oozes out of a crushed thorax?

[Snail]

Music. (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

Do you like the sound of death?

[Zzyber]

Only if its substantial enough to fill my hungry belly.

Why does the moon never take its revenge upon the earth and just refuse to affect the tides?

[Snail]

Because the moon is too friendly. It's the Earth that's the bully.

Why is it considered offensive to say that someone sucks when sucking has such pleasant associations in real life?

[Kathryn]

Saying someone sucks is twice as offensive as saying anything else, and since two wrongs make a right, it’s actually a compliment.

What is the meaning of life?

[Synamon]

I'm tempted to answer 42 but everyone knows that and I'm sure you are probing deeper than that so after much thought I'm going to have to say chocolate.

Who first thought of putting chocolate and peanut butter together (and did they get a Nobel prize for it)?

[Zzyber]

According to a tv show I saw recently it was due to a car accident. And not to my knowledge.

Do recently evolved men stumble out of the rain forests every now and then?

[Nikita]

Yep, they're called politicians.

What is the origin of the word "politics"?

[Snail]

It comes from poly-, a prefix meaning many, and ticks, a word for blood-sucking parasites.

Who will you vote for?

[LionsPride]

I vote for the parasite that sucks the least, and as said previously, I mean that as a compliment. Really I do. Really.


Is a louse, by any other name, still ugly?

[Zzyber]

Not during the Miss Louse pageant that is held biannually in the K-2 region of Pakistan.

Will the vampire bats eventually turn evil?

[LionsPride]

No, then they become vampire squid and after that they occasionally turn inside out.

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Is it looking at me?

[Zzyber]

Yes but that's ok because its only looking through your soul.

What is an Empsha?

[Kathryn]

It's an Ahspme, spelled backward.

Why don't we say stomachward, instead of forward?

[dragonsscout]

Because stomachward can be broken into s-to-mach-ward which would mean that an S will break the Mach 1 barrier in a mental ward. That would blow the awesomeness quotient to hell.

Why do we capitalize the first word of a sentence?

[Zzyber]

Because in the dark ages they capitalized the last letter of the alphabet and they wanted lights so they figured it was the best way to change their situation.

Will we all really die in 2012?

[Nikita]

Yes, the nukes are waiting to be launched.

Are the nukes a government plot designed to take out the poor people first?

[Kathryn]

Well sort of. Nukes were designed to benefit the wealthy; they can afford to protect themselves and wait for the fallout to end before getting into the ground level of the real estate market.

Why don't cats bark?

[rewhu]

They do but in a pitch that's so high only birds can hear it.

Why do people wear sunglasses in night clubs?

[Zzyber]

Because the sound waves can damage your retina when played to brightly.

Why is the People's Court going to be what saves us from total domination from alien lifeforms?

[Nikita]

Because Judge Wapner is their leader and he's seen firsthand just how stupid carbon-based lifeforms are. He has reported the great waste of time it would be to conquer earth as we'll one day kill ourselves with our own technology and arrogance, and then the planet will be ripe for the picking with no messy tactics on their part.

Why do we harvest crops and not bodies?

[Snail]

We harvest bodies at slaughterhouses all the time. I row my little vegetarian boat through a river of blood and try to shut out the knowledge of that suffering on a daily basis, but I can always hear myself screaming silently inside of my head.

Do you eat the corpses?

[Nikita]

with ketchup...and I relish it :p


What are the ingredients in ketchup?

[Snail]

Human souls.

What are the ingredients in relish?

[Zzyber]

Eggplant and a dash of Tabasco sauce mixed with sarin.

What is the intense draw that is continuously found with bamboo and sugarcane?

[Nikita]

They're the raw materials for PCP and Crack, respectively.


How does someone earn your respect?

[Synamon]

They give me candy. Lollipops preferably.


Why should you never take candy from a stranger?

[Nikita]

Because strangers have superior candy and parents don't want to lose their little tax deductions.

What sadistic person came up with taxation?

[Synamon]

Rasputin.


What is a poison pill?

[Nikita]

Crow.


When matter enters a black hole, what happens to it?

[Synamon]

It expands like that foam insulation stuff you spray into your walls. (which is creepy)


Who invented cheese?

[Wapiti]

Mr Ed.

Why a U turn instead of a V turn?

[Synamon]

If it was a V turn and someone did a double V turn we would have to call a circle a W instead of a double U.

Is it bad that my last answer made sense to me?

[Nikita]

Yes.

Is it weird that all answers seem weird to me?

[Wapiti]

Yes but I think it would be more of an oval thing, not really a circle and thus it should make no sense so yes, you're warped.

Why is W called double U and not called a double V?

[Nikita]

Because Us had a better lobbying group.


Why did you answer a question I already answered?

[Synamon]

He has ESPN.


Why isn't Punning an Olympic sport?

[Wapiti]

Cause It's not cunning enough.

Why do they call it chicken noodle soup when the noodles aren't made of chicken?

[Synamon]

You are special alright :laugh:

It's not really soup either, but you don't want the details of that. I'll give you a hint though, yellow liquid.

Will I have to edit this post?

[Fireath]

Only if writing it was more fun than playing naked basketball.

Why are poison dart frogs brightly colored?

[Nikita]

Because the color identifies the type of poison.


Why is poison dangerous?

[Fireath]

Because it keeps trying to seduce your spouse/significant other.

Do you know where he/she is right now?

[Nikita]

In the backyard, 10 feet under...no rising bodies in the rain.


Why are bodies traditionally buried 6 feet deep in the ground?

[NHere]

Because Newton described a law forbidding 6 feet above ground.

But is it possible to find Newton's apple pie in the sky?

[Snail]

Yes. The pie in the sky is underground, because nothing is where you expect it. It seems that everything in the world gets repeatedly rearranged by meddling P types while you sleep.

Would you trust us to rule the world?

[NHere]

The U.S. already rules the world, and everybody trusts it to lead the way to greater glory.

(note name of thread in case you've forgotten)

What is the color of the 21st century?

[faedra]

Black.

Hold on, isn't black not technically a colour?

[Chrysalis]

Yes and no according to different sources. But it's also my 100th post. YAY!

Are cats editing your Wikipedia?

[faedra]

Ya think?
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What's IRL stand for?

[rwyatt365]

Indycar Racing League - sheesh! :irked:

Why can't cats spell correctly?

[faedra]

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egad, u b meannin, tehy kant?!!

Whatever possessed me to write that?

[Synamon]

You were possessed by the spirit of the infamous Spelling Cat who swallowed a Spelling Bee.

Why do they call it a Spelling Bee?

[NHere]

Because it creates such a buzz.

Can I have a cup of kauphy now?

[Synamon]

Kauphy is ginger flavored pea water and I believe you already had your share.


What is the difference between grapes and grapefruit?

[NHere]

The amount of damage done by the hailstone.

Is it effective to pray "Hail Marys" during times of drought?

[Wapiti]

No, Let's just say I don't think it worked for this poor fella. (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

Was that in poor taste?

[Snail]

No. I'm sure the vulture thought he tasted very good.

Are you INTJs really heartless monsters?

[Nikita]

They just want you to think that, they're really cuddly bunnies.

Why do frogs "ribbit"?

[rwyatt365]

Because bolting things together just takes too much time.

Did you get that?

[Synamon]

I was riveted.


Can you do it again?

[Snail]

No.

Is simplicity a good thing?

[schwartzie]

no.
what's up.

[Wapiti]

The Dow Jones.

Why a fork lift?

[Synamon]

Because a spoon rests.


Why did the cow go over the moon?

[Nikita]

Because he couldn't fit under it.


How is milk pasteurized?

[Wapiti]

It is spread thinly in open fields of wild flowers.

Where does leche come from?

[Nikita]

It's extracted from spider silk by hummingbirds.

How many bpm does a hummingbird's heart beat?

[Synamon]

It comes along for the ride with con. (totally craving café con leche right now)

edit: thwap, thwap, thwap.... arg I lost count. More than 3, that's where I lost count.

Why are coffee beans roasted?

[Nikita]

Because they can't handle the tequila required to be toasted.

Where do coffee beans grow?

[Synamon]

In swamps.


Why don't alligators eat all the coffee beans?

[Nikita]

Because they're lactose intolerant.


How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

[Snail]

A woodchuck would chuck all the wood he could chuck until Peter Piper scolded him for failing to help him pick his pack of pickled peppers.

How fast can you move your tongue?

[Nikita]

As fast as hummingbird wings.

If the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body, why can't you lift a car with it?

[Snail]

What? You can't lift a car with your tongue? *snail flexes her massive tongue to show off.* I can lift a house with mine.


Why is everything suddenly going all fuzzy and dark?

[Nikita]

The chloroform is beginning to take effect. You will soon be retired to my dungeon.

Why do I feel safe in the dark?

[faedra]

Because it's safer than opening your eyes and finding out what the interior of my dungeon looks like.

You like it?

[Nikita]

mmm I do love the sound of screaming in the morning.

Are you ready to scream?

[Zzyber]

Only internally since doing so out loud would bring a round of having to talk to people.

What are the other options?

[Nikita]

Baking cookies.

How is flour milled?

[LionsPride]

*blushes* Heavens! You can't ask a person that without buying them dinner first!

Where would you like to go for dinner?