View Full Version : I'm So Bored; Please Amuse Me - The Wrong Answer Game
08-12-2008, 02:02 PM
I checked, and you'll be glad to know that there was a small misspelling and you are actually breamy in your genes. So you can hit yourself with your own fish any time you like.
Don't you love the convenience of it all?
08-12-2008, 02:06 PM
I hate convenience. I work to eliminate it wherever possible.
Did you ever do something just for the halibut?
08-12-2008, 02:09 PM
No but I did say something a little codd once.
Where does the sun not shine?
08-12-2008, 02:13 PM
Behind it. If you ever go behind the sun, watch out... it gets really dark.
Why don't they say 'sunny top up'?
08-12-2008, 02:14 PM
They do on my beach.
Don't you wish you had the address?
08-12-2008, 02:19 PM
A beach in the clouds would be something to see.
Do you have postal service there?
08-12-2008, 02:22 PM
Yes. Airmail, of course.
Have you seen my high dive?
08-12-2008, 02:25 PM
I thought your high was lazy and just sat on the beach.
How long have you had it?
08-12-2008, 02:51 PM
About up to here.
How far can you throw it?
08-12-2008, 03:26 PM
As far as I trust it.
The bigger question is, how far would you go?
08-12-2008, 04:17 PM
To infinity. But I gladly leave the beyond to someone else.
Say! Have you noticed this hot new taverne in town?
08-12-2008, 04:26 PM
Dear me: we'll fix the AC right away.
Where is the town?
08-12-2008, 04:37 PM
Where interpol is not going, they are going to the city.
Is my martian friend real or imaginary?
08-12-2008, 05:22 PM
Oops, wrong thread: this is the Lounge, not General Psychology.
If roosters crow and crows roost, what do pink elephants do?
08-12-2008, 05:37 PM
Prove that you've spent too much time at le Duc's, I think.
Is it wise to hand out free drinks to INTJs?
08-12-2008, 05:41 PM
With infinite supplies, being taken advantage of is not a danger. But a legion of drunk INTJs? That could be problematic.
Is it smart to question the wisdom of an INTJ's actions?
08-12-2008, 05:46 PM
Never. Much better to deal with the elephants. There's one... and another...
Was that one in a speedo?
08-12-2008, 05:55 PM
No, that was a one-eyed orangutan.
Why would an orangutan go out to sea at this time of night?
08-12-2008, 06:02 PM
To show that he has a hidden amphibian streak.
Does le Duc go out to sea at night for the same reason?
08-12-2008, 06:05 PM
My reasons are my own. But they are different, too.
What would you do with a hidden streaking amphibian?
08-12-2008, 09:13 PM
You should ask that orangutan; I have a terrible intuition.
< < < as this shows.
Does FC's avatar represent her real identity?
08-13-2008, 04:17 AM
You should ask that orangutan; I have a terrible intuition.
< < < as this shows.
Does FC's avatar represent her real identity?
Please, please don't discuss the accident with her. She is very sensitive about it and very embarassed to realize that acid is, sometimes, quite dangerous.
Can someone show me the way home please?
08-13-2008, 05:08 AM
Sure. First, fly to Korea, and then get on Line 3. Get off the subway station - anywhere is okay. That's your home. Make sure you have some newspapers ready to be recognised as the Official Beggar in that subway station.
Is bladeserver's iNsanity related to FC's true identity?
08-13-2008, 06:37 AM
It has more to do with his tragic loss of one eye. That, I am told, while it had nothing to do with acid, almost made him wish it did.
When you go bananas, are they green or yellow?
08-13-2008, 06:53 AM
Usually green, they pack them that way so they ripen en route from the tropics to us folk in the wet and windy northern hemisphere. Clever devils, those who design JIT strategy in food distribution ;).
What do YOU do to get through a boring, difficult and highly pressured project?
08-13-2008, 06:55 AM
Is it done?
08-13-2008, 07:06 AM
Aye, tis well done ;).
Where else can we go when all is done?
08-13-2008, 07:22 AM
'Where else' implies one already went somewhere.
Is it rare to have it well done?
08-13-2008, 07:34 AM
Sadly, it's not so rare and often ruined when 'well done'.
Are burnt fingers better buttered?
08-13-2008, 07:45 AM
I just put a bandage on mine.
Who said anything about the healing properties of butter?
08-13-2008, 07:57 AM
Heaven knows, lots of cold running water would be best and definitely avoid Ralgex!
Is hyponosis really a substitute for anaesthetic?
08-13-2008, 08:00 AM
Aesthetic hypnosis would eliminate many interior decorating expenses.
Why is hold music so bland?
08-13-2008, 08:14 AM
Hold music was first developed in Belgium in 1927 by erik Hold and Belgians. Well you know. They are bland. Even their bands are bland.
Why is London so big?
08-13-2008, 08:19 AM
Size is relative. If you were Mexico City, you wouldn't think it was so big.
Size is who's relative?
08-13-2008, 08:36 AM
Do I have any idea what I just typed?
08-13-2008, 08:39 AM
I can see your skull is thickening.
Do I know whether this is the "right" answer to FC's question?
:evil: Special question to FC: What's your true identity? :evil:
08-13-2008, 08:51 AM
Her true identity is 'loving and giving.'
Haven't you ever heard the rhyme?
08-13-2008, 09:38 AM
No, I thought you were talking in riddles.
Is least said soonest mended?
08-13-2008, 10:19 AM
Only in Austrailia.
What happened to life as we know it?
08-13-2008, 10:40 AM
It all became life as we knew it.
Why must blue and yellow make green?
08-13-2008, 10:55 AM
Does purple really exist?
08-13-2008, 11:08 AM
No, but I can get you such a deal on puce, you wouldn't believe!
If I broke a crystal, would I be sent to prism?
08-13-2008, 11:40 AM
The justice system would try, but you might fall through the cracks.
Does anyone ever make dumbcracks?
08-13-2008, 11:43 AM
Sadly, yes. But we paper over them.
Why are we so kind?
08-13-2008, 11:49 AM
We? You're the one who's loving and giving.
What if I wasn't born on a day?
08-13-2008, 11:51 AM
Because "we" are a deluded tribe, it will be fixed in the end though.
Why is trust so hard to...........................
Damn, typed to slow!
08-13-2008, 11:52 AM
I'd have to invent one for you.
How do you feel about Ducsday, the other day of rest?
08-13-2008, 11:56 AM
Because we weren't given the cruel gene, thankfully.
Is this level of stress really necessary?
Whoops.....oh gawd, you're all too quick tonight!
08-13-2008, 11:57 AM
No. The necessity is entirely fake.
Why is it always 'of necessity' instead of 'by necessity'?
08-13-2008, 12:05 PM
Because necessity's mother said so.
Would you dare to contradict her?
08-13-2008, 12:07 PM
I would. Invention's grandma has nothing on me.
How well does 24 go into 3.14?
EDIT: Ducsday was named after me, so I could not have been born on it...
08-13-2008, 12:07 PM
Why not, could turn it into a debate. Is the mothers name Need?
why is Friday always frantic?
08-13-2008, 01:03 PM
I think she's more laid back, really. Of course, I only see her once she's arrived at the taverne.
How well does 24 go into 3.14?
08-13-2008, 01:12 PM
Not very well at all, actually.
Who would be happy with such a sliver of blueberry pi?
08-13-2008, 01:14 PM
Well, the blackbirds sure are happy now.
Will the blueberries sing when you cut open the pie?
08-13-2008, 01:16 PM
Yes. Their little squeaky voices begging for mercy is the best part!
Can I offer you some?
08-13-2008, 01:21 PM
The lack of control I have over what you do should be apparent.
Isn't it a bit disconcerting to eat them live?
08-13-2008, 01:37 PM
I think you'd get more nutritional value by eating them while you're alive, yes. Seems a wee bit pointless otherwise but, your call.
If time heals everything how come I've still only got one leg?
08-13-2008, 01:45 PM
Time only heals all wounds. Not all amputations. And mutations are out of the question...
Is there a song about getting hoarse for my beers?
08-13-2008, 02:13 PM
"Red Rum Gives Up His Nightly Tipple", headline from The Sun newspaper to explain why the The Grand National winner ran into Beecher's Brook rather than jumping over it. The Grand National's sponsor, Al Anon, just raised its eyebrows and offered "No comment".
Is GM vital?
08-13-2008, 02:22 PM
I don't believe they make organs.
What about the barrel that rolls across the ford and goes around the benz?
08-13-2008, 03:19 PM
That would be the barrel of funds, I suppose.
What music goes well with Socrates?
08-13-2008, 03:26 PM
A greek chorus.
How shredded is wheat?
08-13-2008, 03:30 PM
Depends. On whether it was near a trailer park during a tornado.
Isn't it safer to choose oatmeal?
08-13-2008, 03:37 PM
If you are a quaker sure it is but I'm an Albigensian.
08-13-2008, 03:39 PM
If you over-inflate it.
Did you ever see a cow chicken out?
08-13-2008, 03:45 PM
The Strawbs would be ideal especially with a touch of Cream.
Do little lambs eat ivy?
Lupin added to this post, 4 minutes and 46 seconds later...
OOOOOOh rats! I'm slow tonight....must be the Southern Comfort and red wine chaser getting the better of my digits.
Only out of the farm gate on the slaughterhouse lorry. I mean, who's going to eat a cow-chicken....we've only just got over CJD in this country and with recent concern over GM crops, Prince Charles will have a seizure if cow-chickens start appearing.
Do you want to be responsible for causing ill health to royalty?
08-13-2008, 04:52 PM
Sure, I love life as a criminal mastermind.
Why would Lupin want to cause ill health to royalty?
08-13-2008, 04:58 PM
Way to deflect the blame. You should last while in the underworld.
Is there an overworld?
08-13-2008, 05:19 PM
Yes. It's called the Olympus.
Why doesn't Olympics take place in the Olympus?
08-13-2008, 06:17 PM
Because they'd be too easy to track down.
What has five digits but no numbers?
08-14-2008, 01:17 AM
A monkey has digits, will that do?
Not wishing any ill on the royals, whatsoever, are corgis just pretend dogs?
08-14-2008, 01:21 AM
They are spies sent by the Lithuanian monarchy long ago. Haven't been informed of the changes.
Where is beetleguese?
08-14-2008, 06:43 AM
Under my bootguese.
Did you ever want to star in the sky?
08-14-2008, 07:07 AM
Yeah, but understudy to to the sunset was as far as I got.
Fight or flight?
08-14-2008, 07:14 AM
I like to combine them. Keeps people entertained, especially if the on-board film is a dud.
Anyone for tennis?
08-14-2008, 07:14 AM
I just take the L and let the rest cancel each other.
"Tennis for anyone, and anyone for tennis." I'm glad the musketeers didn't try that one...
Do you know what we have too much of?
08-14-2008, 07:17 AM
More stick or twist if you ask me.
Morceau, moreso or Marcel Marceau.....?
*everyone delights as Lupin decides to give up trying to get her response in using steam power and a following wind while everyone else has a far faster 0 to 60 and hence gets there first*
*tortoise retires and gets on with 'other things'*
08-14-2008, 07:29 AM
Might be the third option, but I can't say.
How much sleep would cheap veep keep if a cheap veep could keep sleep?
08-14-2008, 07:42 AM
Market prices on sleep are going through the roof - my guess is he would sell high.
Where'd everybody go?
08-14-2008, 07:48 AM
I thought you got the invite.
May I halve a drink?
08-14-2008, 07:50 AM
Okay, but I get the top halve.
Could you add an olive?
08-14-2008, 07:57 AM
Dividing an olive would be easier. (For olive calculus you'd have to ask Monte.)
When will last be next?
08-14-2008, 08:01 AM
When the cobbler gets to it.
Is your soul in need of repair?
08-14-2008, 08:09 AM
My jazz could use some work, too.
Could you resole a pear?
08-14-2008, 08:12 AM
Pears are not marked for individual resale.
Sales of pears are illegal in how many States?
08-14-2008, 08:13 AM
(le Duc) No, but I could pair a rissole with a nice wine, if pressed.
(N H) Only in advanced states of decomposition. Attention, my local shops.
What does a red sky at night do for a sailor?
08-14-2008, 08:19 AM
It does nothing. Which is good, since the sailor is trying to see it and if it kept moving around, that would cause problems.
What wine isn't pressed?
08-14-2008, 08:23 AM
A well-aged bottle isn't in a hurry to get anywhere.
What did Blade have to say?
08-14-2008, 08:28 AM
He didn't have to say anything. This is a volunteer thread.
Why don't they have pearls of stupid?
08-14-2008, 08:40 AM
Because stupid is as stupid does, and no stupid is gonna be caught dead wearing no freakin' pearls.
How many pearls would it take to buy an earl?
08-14-2008, 08:43 AM
It's yours, for 1p.
Is that a bargain?
08-14-2008, 08:46 AM
No, it's a netgain.
Have you ever seen a bar to bar folks from the bar?
08-14-2008, 08:48 AM
Yeah, I think it's called law school.
Which came first, the lawyer or the bar?
08-14-2008, 08:50 AM
The bar. After the fight, the loser decided to sue. Thus the invention of the lawyer.
How would you apply an attorniquet?
08-14-2008, 08:54 AM
Fake and accident, round up all lawyers responding and twist until secure.
If a lawyer is first on the accident scene, what law does he work by?
08-14-2008, 10:21 AM
He works by the EMTs when they arrive, if he cares. If he doesn't care, he just stands and watches.
Nobody likes an ambulance chaser, but does anyone really drink ambulance?
08-14-2008, 10:25 AM
No, but many perambulate before they drink.
How dry is my drink?
08-14-2008, 10:27 AM
Man, what a hinter. Okay, barkeep... give her another.
Can you make it a double?
08-14-2008, 10:32 AM
You can halve a double.
If there was one for one, would there be all for all?
08-14-2008, 10:35 AM
Yes, but then we'd be left with none for none. And we wouldn't want that.
Where might one go to have all?
08-14-2008, 10:39 AM
Only one can go, and that's all.
Does a retired person need resleep?
08-14-2008, 11:25 AM
Yes, and apparently renaps as well. Wake up, Grandpapa!
Will you mind the lapse?
08-14-2008, 11:36 AM
Sure. I'll take good care of it.
When will you be picking it up?
08-14-2008, 11:55 AM
Six bars after the intro.
Can you dig it?
08-14-2008, 11:59 AM
No. Let it be.
Should we let the sound trumpet?
08-14-2008, 12:05 PM
Yes. I'll alert Giovanni Gabrieli.
Or would you prefer 76 trombones?
08-14-2008, 12:12 PM
A full octave higher would scorch my ears.
Why don't we have earcymbals?
08-14-2008, 12:14 PM
They'd clash with my new suite.
Earrings aren't loud enough for you?
08-14-2008, 12:25 PM
A ring is an effect rather than a cause.
Why hello instead of heaveno?
08-14-2008, 12:33 PM
Careful. You might have enough there for a contentious thread in the non-existent religious section.
Could it be a preparation for lesser things to come?
08-14-2008, 12:44 PM
If an e is less than an a, perhaps.
If there was a noise in the forest and nobody was around, could it make a tree?
08-14-2008, 12:51 PM
Of course! Where do you think the trees came from?
Why does 'everything' taste like chicken?
08-14-2008, 12:52 PM
Otter tastes like pork.
Do we have any more Otters?
08-14-2008, 12:58 PM
There is no simple answer to that question.
What if it went the otter way?
08-14-2008, 01:11 PM
The (h)otter way would be via Cape Town.
North, south, east or Fred West?
08-14-2008, 01:19 PM
That's a killer question.
What does the stock market drop?
08-14-2008, 01:39 PM
08-14-2008, 01:48 PM
What were you not thinking?
08-14-2008, 02:04 PM
I was not thinking that which I cannot say because I cannot remember that which was and then wondered if that were real and what was imagined and if it were imagined, were you really thinking or dreaming or are the 2 one in the same but then it dawned on me that I was not thinking that the sun was hot and I am not cause air conditioning is excellent.
08-14-2008, 02:07 PM
No. Er, yes. I think.
Wind or loose?
08-14-2008, 02:39 PM
Oh I let loose a big one and it was just like the wind, it blew.
blue or blew?
Wapiti added to this post, 30 minutes and 54 seconds later...
Blue for sure cause colors rule and everything else blows.
Is it wrong to answer yourself?
08-14-2008, 05:11 PM
Unbelievable. The negative synergy put forth by that egregious rule violation could very well bring us all down. But I will try to keep things going.
Sticking with the color theme: are people smarter when they are well-red?
08-14-2008, 05:12 PM
Sure, some people get unbelievably intelligent when they are drunk.
Do people reveal their true personality when their face is yellow or white/pale?
08-14-2008, 05:41 PM
If your face is in a white pail, people are probably waiting for you to sober up and crawl out of the oatmeal...
Do ants ever say 'uncle'?
08-14-2008, 11:24 PM
Only when the Queen is present...otherwise they call him "dad." (shhh, we weren't supposed to tell)
Where can one match wits like this outside of virtuality?
08-14-2008, 11:35 PM
Institution for the criminally insane.
What is sanity?
08-14-2008, 11:53 PM
That's about as subjective as love. I suggest some background reading and then you can report back to me (50 pages, bibliography and footnotes).
Can tea possibly be too strong?
08-15-2008, 04:29 AM
I was previously threatened by T in another thread and successfully intimidated. So yes I oppose a strong T.
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Milk and four sugars?
08-15-2008, 05:08 AM
I don't think that's even enough to cut that T.
Doesn't this thread just fit to a T?
08-15-2008, 06:17 AM
I know a thread that fits to a beer.
Have you known anyone who is outsane?
08-15-2008, 06:42 AM
Only when in their left mind.
How does one go about earning a deathlihood?
08-15-2008, 06:44 AM
Go downtown. I've seen some hoods that were pretty deathly there...
What is the true meaning of false?
08-15-2008, 08:10 AM
That there is a meaning of false that is true.
How many Duclings does it take to screw an anagram into a bar?
08-15-2008, 08:12 AM
If they had anagrams on the bar exam, it would've been much more fun.
Is it better to discuss whether ants or ents exist?
08-15-2008, 08:18 AM
I think its better discussed if ants are sent exits.
When shall we meet again?
08-15-2008, 08:19 AM
(le Duc) Ents. Because NZ uncles are going to be very very concerned if you get this one wrong.
(N H) We can never meet again. Unless we go backwards.
Do you believe in magic?
08-15-2008, 08:24 AM
If the two letters on each end of 'believe' mysteriously fell off, it would become 'lie.'
Can wrong answer be made an Olympic sport?
08-15-2008, 08:50 AM
It is and YET AGAIN you didn't qualify. The rest of us are using the internet cafe at the Olympic village.
If I threw my discus out would you catch it?
08-15-2008, 09:09 AM
I'd pretend to fumble first, just to hear the gasps from the crowds. But then I "recover" and make the front page with my gold medal human-interest story.
Wouldn't you miss it?
08-15-2008, 10:10 AM
Probably, but my aim is improving. (Yes, I know that's really old, but it's out of my system now.)
Do they give gold medals to sports beat writers?
08-15-2008, 10:26 AM
No, silly. The beaten ones just go home in disgrace. Unless they are from NZ or Canada and then they are heroes.
Why can't they stop the madness?
08-15-2008, 10:28 AM
They can. Peace and harmony would ensue.
Who wants that?
08-15-2008, 10:32 AM
True, it might be dull. Although I do like the occasional barbershop quartet convention.
What are two bits, anyway?
08-15-2008, 10:57 AM
It's a fourth of a bite: when eating in a fashionable setting, it is often considered appropriate to put one's 'two bits' into the conversation, and that refers, of course, to the maximum amount of food that can remain in the mouth comfortably while doing so.
Is the sky the limit?
08-15-2008, 10:59 AM
Yes but the floor usually stops the fall.
Will you take me to the limit?
08-15-2008, 11:26 AM
Only if you fly like one of The Eagles.
Is this the way to Amarillo?
08-15-2008, 11:37 AM
Y'know, I've never gotten into the whole amarillo thing, but it looks like you're doing it right.
Can you do it with two?
08-15-2008, 11:41 AM
Nope. No longer morning. You'll have to return to Sante Fe and try again tomorrow.
Tacky, tacky country western joke, I know! But wait, I can do even bett..., er, worse...
Does Lupin always put 'DeCartes' before de horse? Hugs to Lupin!
08-15-2008, 11:44 AM
The horse doesn't think so, therefore no.
What is the best way to fry french?
08-15-2008, 11:52 AM
Some sort of thermo-nuclear device, I would imagine. But then there would be very few French left to fry!
How does one go about catching a tiger by the toe? Sounds awfully risky to me!
08-15-2008, 12:11 PM
Simple: sneak up on it, then remove shoes and stockings, stick out your foot and voila!
What is the difference between orange and ice?
08-15-2008, 12:48 PM
Not so much, unless you're trying to play hockey.
What is the difference between blue and sand?
08-15-2008, 12:52 PM
*cue loud stuff sometimes called music*
"If you've got sand and you're in demand can you give me a hand with startin' my band so it'll be grand until the last strand no if but or and..."
Um yeah... That's not blues. The fact that I just did that is disturbing.
Why does 'sleep' backwards spell 'peels'?
08-15-2008, 01:00 PM
'Cause one 'peels' her eyes open after sleep.
Why does 'live' backwards spell 'evil'? Or 'lived' backwards spell 'devil'?
08-15-2008, 01:07 PM
Hopefully its an antonymical relationship.
When will we run out of questions?
08-15-2008, 01:09 PM
Why does Blade spelled bacwards spell Edalb (Do you think that's a coincidence)???
08-15-2008, 01:10 PM
You only have two questions and three question marks. I'm confused.
If I'm tired of your issues, can I cancel my subscription?
08-15-2008, 01:13 PM
Yes but only if Ms FC says so (she is the power behind the entire internet).
08-15-2008, 01:15 PM
They're out of Bucks.
08-15-2008, 01:17 PM
If time is relative, then who exactly is it related to? ;)
08-15-2008, 01:19 PM
We already asked that question earlier.
Where were you?
08-15-2008, 01:22 PM
Where is relative. Depends where here is.
Where is here?
08-15-2008, 01:22 PM
Whoops! Blushing. Hey, I'm new!! Forgive me?
So, what's the punishment for re-asking in the wrong answer game? Hee hee!!
08-15-2008, 01:25 PM
40 lashes, and please ignore le Duc, the rest of us do.
How many eyelashes does the average person have?
08-15-2008, 01:26 PM
The average person has no eyelashes. Cool! You're above average!
Now why didn't I think of what?
08-15-2008, 01:28 PM
Because you were thinking of lollipops.
Why are all the answers in this thread wrong?
08-15-2008, 01:29 PM
08-15-2008, 01:31 PM
What do I rule?
08-15-2008, 01:33 PM
Is a meme schizophrenic?
08-15-2008, 01:35 PM
No and so is a yoyo.
Are scones made of velvet?
08-15-2008, 01:38 PM
Only the fancy ones.
How far is it from here to there?
08-15-2008, 01:40 PM
One 't' is the difference and thus the distance.
Can something be neither here nor there?
08-15-2008, 01:56 PM
Yes, if it's beside the point.
Did you ever feed an oat meal?
08-15-2008, 01:56 PM
Sure. It can be nowhere... like my darn car keys!
Why do you always find things in the last place that you look?
08-15-2008, 01:58 PM
Because that's where you put things when you want to hide them.
Can you hide in plain sight?
08-15-2008, 02:00 PM
Only in relation to the site plane.
What happens to la if so goes to fast?
08-15-2008, 02:15 PM
It falls in the tea. Ker-splash.
Since I'm in control of the entire internet, do I even have to ask?
08-15-2008, 02:15 PM
No, but it's polite.
Ask for what?
08-15-2008, 05:38 PM
Um, I mean, ask Hades to take FC with him.
Will FC's death really solve this problem?
08-15-2008, 07:18 PM
Your question assumes there is a problem. I am unclear on how to answer.
Do birds with gizzards flock like lizards?
08-15-2008, 08:28 PM
No. However, Moses supposes his toes-es are roses, but Moses supposes er-ro-ne-ous-ly.
Shouldn't it have been "Singing in the Milk"?
08-15-2008, 09:26 PM
Only if it was raining cows.
08-15-2008, 09:29 PM
No, but I know a man who knows a man with lactose psychopathology.
Is that close enough?
08-15-2008, 09:31 PM
Way too close, step back please.
How much personal space do you need?
08-15-2008, 09:33 PM
Just a squidgy bit.
Can you hold this tape for me?
08-16-2008, 05:22 AM
I didn't know you had worms.
How do prosecutors make charges stick?
08-16-2008, 05:35 AM
Justice is blind so I assume they do it by feel.
Can you see the tree of life?
08-16-2008, 05:39 AM
Right now I enjoy syrup made from the life of tree.
Did you know right left?
08-16-2008, 06:43 AM
No, but it could explain why I failed my ROTC auditions.
So there's nothing left, right?
08-16-2008, 08:40 AM
There is, but it's backwards.
Is a monist joking if he says "what the hell?"?
08-16-2008, 08:46 AM
Absolutely. Monists are quite the kidders. Ask one a knock knock joke and prepare to split your sides.
Should I add chives?
08-16-2008, 10:26 AM
Sure, if you need to know how many you have.
If carrot juice constitutes murder, what is robbery?
08-16-2008, 11:52 AM
Robbery is the consistency of the substance on the bottom of sneakers.
What are sneakers?
08-16-2008, 11:54 AM
Little minions that run around trying to startle you.
What are minions?
08-16-2008, 12:01 PM
Miniature onions that run around trying to startle you.
Do minions have pinions, like le Duc?
08-16-2008, 12:17 PM
I use memory cloth to fly.
How many posts does a thread have to have before it's no longer a baby?
08-16-2008, 12:23 PM
That depends on how many minions are startling the babies that we sent out to drive posts for the new fence around this place.
BTW, what is this place?
08-16-2008, 12:31 PM
Before we can define it, we must know whether it exists.
How much wu could a wuchak chak if a wuchak cu chak wu?;)
08-16-2008, 12:43 PM
Ah, so someone has discovered that the native American word has been transliterated. The answer is that a wuchak chaks tons of wu per day.
I need a particle accelerator and a test subject. Any volunteers?
08-16-2008, 01:15 PM
I could volunteer several, even some I've met on this forum.
Does a triple negative make it nebulous?
08-16-2008, 01:29 PM
No, but a false positive could change your life.
How am I to tell?
08-16-2008, 01:31 PM
Oh don't rat us out.
08-16-2008, 01:33 PM
No problem. I always swear at pink.
Will it be alright now?
08-16-2008, 01:35 PM
Yes. (this is the wrong answer game after all)
Are you really a squid?
08-16-2008, 01:43 PM
Yes, she is--and so am I.
I found a chemical engineering prof. who said she could loan me a particle accelerator but that I would have to return it when we are done. Should we return it?
08-16-2008, 01:53 PM
No. I have a cone to disintegrate.
Is Canada a state of mind?
08-16-2008, 01:59 PM
It's a state of quantum entanglement.
That being said, is Synamon (a Canadian) in more than one place (or dimension) at the same time?
08-16-2008, 02:06 PM
Synamon is what we understand here (at the clinic) as nearly Canadian. Operatives have discovered that she does NOT have the requisite webbed feet so we suspect some alien influence. My personal theory is she is part Belgian but she would, of course, never own up to that.
So the answer is no.
All you can eat. A good idea?
08-16-2008, 02:18 PM
Yes, especially calamari.
Clinic . . . hmmmm. Is Synamon heavily medicated?
08-16-2008, 02:48 PM
No, she's a lollipop (with a person getting ready to eat her).
Why would anyone laugh so hard at a lipop?
08-16-2008, 03:07 PM
I doubt it. The Rofllipop failed for much the same reasons.
Would you pass me the salt water taffy, please?
08-16-2008, 03:16 PM
I'm insulted. But I still have your beef and silver pin.
How did you know I was Welsh?
08-16-2008, 03:19 PM
The leeky lapel gave it all away. You have to change those things once a month, you know. Just saying.
How do you content a cow?
08-16-2008, 03:21 PM
Mostly beef, bones, and various innards and stuff.
What is a log a cat?
08-16-2008, 03:51 PM
It's a bit like a Yule Log, only stringier.
Shall I whip you up one?
08-16-2008, 04:35 PM
My dad did that once. Up one side and down the other. I deserved it. I'm bigger now, though: I doubt you could.
Are we allowed to ask the wrong question on here?
08-16-2008, 04:40 PM
No. I mean yes. I mean no. Grrr, you tricked me.
Is there one?
08-16-2008, 04:46 PM
There's five. I've been wanting to ask them for a long time.
Did you ever ask a sage for advice on seasoning?
08-16-2008, 04:50 PM
I did, but by the time I'd climbed back down the mountain i was all out of thyme. Oh, sure. Now you force me into dreadful puns.
Are you worth your salt?
08-16-2008, 05:02 PM
Erg. This is a bad time to ask me: I only have a half-shaker of salt left.
How can you force the one who is in control?
08-16-2008, 05:33 PM
Silly. There is no one in control, unless you misspell it.
Are you ready to surrender?
08-16-2008, 05:45 PM
I suppose. You go first.
Who are we surrendering to?
08-16-2008, 05:50 PM
Not the French. They always get in there first.
Can you be bought?
08-16-2008, 05:53 PM
If someone bought me, they'd have to pay me. Then I'd have the payment, but I wouldn't have me. So then I wouldn't have the payment, and the one who had me would. That would be breach of contract, and he'd have to give me back to me.
08-16-2008, 05:53 PM
Yes, but that's all I make.
We still have the particle accelerator. Shall I use it to set you free?
08-16-2008, 06:51 PM
Someone would have to pay a mighty sum for me to let them set me.
Have you ever taken free bees?
08-16-2008, 06:57 PM
No. But I broke a Bee Gees Best Of collection, once.
Does that count?
08-16-2008, 07:39 PM
Only to 20. After that, it runs out of fingers and toes.
Are you smarter than a 5th grader?
08-16-2008, 07:44 PM
No, but I have a particle accelerator.
Friday could probably count above 20 on her tentacles. How many does she have?
08-16-2008, 08:03 PM
Less than you might think.
Can less be more?
08-16-2008, 08:23 PM
More or less...
What's the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup?
08-16-2008, 08:31 PM
A million dollars. (ask the Barenaked Ladies)
Are they really barenaked ladies?
08-16-2008, 10:05 PM
Yes, but the ugliest ones I've ever seen.
Anyone need ketchup?
08-17-2008, 01:46 AM
Not I... I am in desperate need of catsup, though.
'I' before 'E' except after c?
08-17-2008, 04:31 AM
I'm not sure. Let me try. Cheifly (looks right). Credit (Yup definitely right).
I think you are on to something here *makes note*.
Will grammar stay with grandpa?
08-17-2008, 05:28 AM
Yes. It's the only way to avoid paying the syntax.
How many quartz to a galleon?
08-17-2008, 06:24 AM
It all depends. A Spanish galleon is obviously 4 quartze full but a Portugese galleon has the cosmic shift to contend with so my best guess would be 5.5.
Is an onion billingual?
08-17-2008, 07:12 AM
No, and I'll thank you to stop playing with your vegetables and eat up, please.
Do you think I've got all day?
08-17-2008, 11:05 AM
Only until 3.00 p.m. I suggest you gather rosebuds.
Rain or snow?
08-17-2008, 11:58 AM
Snow, I think. It kills more annoying things.
Will you wash or dry?
08-17-2008, 02:32 PM
I can't wash or dry but I can huggle :) ?
Blade phone home?
08-17-2008, 02:36 PM
No, I think you left it at the bar.
Could the process of creating an anagram be termed 'casting a spell'?
08-17-2008, 04:04 PM
Eyes dined.... (yes, indeed)
On that note, could playing Scrabble be considered practicing one's 'spell casting' ability?
08-17-2008, 04:29 PM
No, it would be on a different note.
What does a music student take during class?
08-17-2008, 04:42 PM
I used to take newts but I was always different.
Is it possible?
08-17-2008, 04:47 PM
We're just letting you think it is.
Why are ISTP and ESTP the only anagramable types?
08-17-2008, 05:03 PM
Maybe its all the pent up demand?
08-17-2008, 05:05 PM
Who said that?
08-17-2008, 05:06 PM
Voices in your head.
Do you listen or simply list?
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