"I Need a Hero..." (Q for INFPs)

[Mogura]

My mother is an INFP and in addition to her astrological forecasts, I am required to put up with her talk about how I'm a "hero" of some sort :gag:

I really didn't think anything of it, but my GF, a suspected INFP, also calls me her "hero". I get this from her quite a bit.

The possibilities are:

1) This is an INFP thing. INFPs need a hero to look up to or to rescue them from something or other--probably themselves, if I had to guess.

2) It's a coincidence that I happen to be surrounded by the nuttiest women on the planet.

3) I need to stop wearing that damn Green Lantern T-shirt with the matching Speedoes.

Could some INFPs confirm/comment?

Thanks...

[rickster]

No good can come of being anybody's hero. It gets ugly when the hero takes a fall.

And you're just digging yourself in deeper solicitng INFP comment when they're the cause of the problem...smack yourself twice on the side of the head for that...

The green Speedos could be attracting all the wrong kind of attention if you have a cucumber stuffed down the front. :)

[GouldFan]

No good can come of being anybody's hero. It gets ugly when the hero takes a fall.

And you're just digging yourself in deeper solicitng INFP comment when they're the cause of the problem...smack yourself twice on the side of the head for that...

What problem are you talking about? I don't think there's anything wrong with having a hero or role model. :)

[masterpeach]

No good can come of being anybody's hero. It gets ugly when the hero takes a fall.

That's quite a pessimistic view. (Because I would be there to catch my hero.) I want the man I am with to be my hero as well (gaining this status is not that difficult - I am easily impressed by competence in a field I am not good at).

[rickster]

What problem are you talking about? I don't think there's anything wrong with having a hero or role model. :)

Hmmm now that I come to think about it I wouldn't having a hero myself! Or being one! :laugh:

That's quite a pessimistic view. (Because I would be there to catch my hero.) I want the man I am with to be my hero as well (gaining this status is not that difficult - I am easily impressed by competence in a field I am not good at).

Guilty as charged! Throw in jealousy of OP as well! I'm liking your train of thought a lot actually...;)

[Tkae]

My mother is an INFP and in addition to her astrological forecasts, I am required to put up with her talk about how I'm a "hero" of some sort :gag:

I really didn't think anything of it, but my GF, a suspected INFP, also calls me her "hero". I get this from her quite a bit.

The possibilities are:

1) This is an INFP thing. INFPs need a hero to look up to or to rescue them from something or other--probably themselves, if I had to guess.

2) It's a coincidence that I happen to be surrounded by the nuttiest women on the planet.

3) I need to stop wearing that damn Green Lantern T-shirt with the matching Speedoes.

Could some INFPs confirm/comment?

Thanks...

It's an INFP thing.

It also doesn't help that you're an INFJ. INFJs are natural candidates for being INFPs' saviors.

Just don't do anything different than you're doing and you'll be fine. INFJ and INFP have a natural bond from just about everything relationship source I've heard. It's like french fries and ketchup!

[katrin]

That's quite a pessimistic view. (Because I would be there to catch my hero.) I want the man I am with to be my hero as well (gaining this status is not that difficult - I am easily impressed by competence in a field I am not good at).

I'm glad to see a non-INFP female say this. This is the same way I feel. I think it comes down to simple admiration. In a romantic relationship, I want to be with a man who I can admire in some way and I'd like it if he saw admirable qualities in me too, of course.

Your mom harping on it is a little odd, but moms are odd sometimes. My mother used to call me her hero too, even though I'm an INFP female. She just admired me for being intelligent and getting college degrees and professional jobs--things she never did or had opportunity to do.

It's an INFP thing.

It also doesn't help that you're an INFJ. INFJs are natural candidates for being INFPs' saviors.

Just don't do anything different than you're doing and you'll be fine. INFJ and INFP have a natural bond from just about everything relationship source I've heard. It's like french fries and ketchup!

Hahaha. True. I think this one friend from my past that I was crazy about was an XNFJ. The NF + J seems to me to be an alluring combination in a guy. In short, Mogura, be glad women admire you. The opposite would be worse!

Having said that, if this is the same GF you've been posting about in the R&D subforum, well, she may have mental issues and you may need to break off with her. I don't know what's up with her, but not all INFPs exhibit unhealthy behaviors in a relationship.

[Bonamona]

My mother is an INFP and in addition to her astrological forecasts, I am required to put up with her talk about how I'm a "hero" of some sort :gag:

I really didn't think anything of it, but my GF, a suspected INFP, also calls me her "hero". I get this from her quite a bit.

The possibilities are:

1) This is an INFP thing. INFPs need a hero to look up to or to rescue them from something or other--probably themselves, if I had to guess.

2) It's a coincidence that I happen to be surrounded by the nuttiest women on the planet.

3) I need to stop wearing that damn Green Lantern T-shirt with the matching Speedoes.

Could some INFPs confirm/comment?

Thanks...

:blush: Hahaha :p *Guilty*

I tend to look at the guys in my life as heroes as well... Eeeeck.

It's just something that we like. I tend to admire those who possess that special ability to ''save'' me out of darkness when I need it :p We like to express affections that way. We're affectionate, not nutty :p

But anyway that's one of the things I'm still in the process of trying to change about myself. I want to stop being needy and one day, I'll be able to say,'I saved myself entirely!'

[Liberte]

I'm my own hero. Any INFP who has made it this far in life and not had a serious meltdown due to:

a. being unable to juggle their constant cornucopia of thoughts and emotions
b. being unable to to relate said emotions to anyone.
c. never being able to achieve their stratospheric goals.

seriously deserves a call from the Justice League. Empathman anyone?

But in all seriousness, I do see myself as my own role model for one main reason: If I'm not satisfied with myself, I can always make a change for the better. I can't change the people around me. Saves from the disappointment of investing your hopes in someone who might let you down. Not that I don't trust the competence of others, its just safer this way.

Perhaps what I am looking for is a sidekick on equal footing?

[Mogura]

That's quite a pessimistic view. (Because I would be there to catch my hero.) I want the man I am with to be my hero as well (gaining this status is not that difficult - I am easily impressed by competence in a field I am not good at).

You're a hero's hero. Good on you. Even Superman needs a back massage and a little TLC from time to time...

[Silverity]

My question for other types would be ... is it exclusively an INFP thing? I get the hero bit too but as far as I know it's from ENFP/INFJ and who knows the other types. I assumed it wasn't particularly type based but more... from people drawn to the more romantic and sensitive aspects of life. You know, wanting a knight in shining armour or a precious angel to save them.

[reb]

Mogura, 'you are my hero' is the female 'manipulation line' of the last century. evidently, it still works.

you must like the role, eh? lol!

[Mogura]

Mogura, 'you are my hero' is the female 'manipulation line' of the last century. evidently, it still works.

you must like the role, eh? lol!

I like my utility belt. LOL. Seriously, is this a common thing? I've only gotten it from one GF.

Answering Silverity's question, I tend to "heroize" or admire extroverts... with integrity...

[Silverity]

I don't think it's exclusively female, I get hero dependency from guys as well as girls.

[dontmesswithme]

1.) I do see certain people as being "heroes" to me. It just means that I admire them GREATLY. I don't need rescuing from myself anymore than you or anyone else on this board does.

2.) We're all nuts to some extent. If they trouble you so much you should cut ties with them.

3.) If you want them to like you less, stop looking so damn hot all the time.

P.S.: I think astrology is horse manure. And I'm an INFP Pisces. One would think that I'm into that jazz with that combo, but....umm, no.

[katrin]

1.) I do see certain people as being "heroes" to me. It just means that I admire them GREATLY. I don't need rescuing from myself anymore than you or anyone else on this board does.

2.) We're all nuts to some extent. If they trouble you so much you should cut ties with them.

3.) If you want them to like you less, stop looking so damn hot all the time.

P.S.: I think astrology is horse manure. And I'm an INFP Pisces. One would think that I'm into that jazz with that combo, but....umm, no.

dontmesswithme, I <3 you so much, saying all the things I wanted to say, especially the part about needing a hero to rescue oneself. Uh, no. Not at all. Except possibly to save me from the mundanity of my boring vegetarian librarian life. :p

I'm a Sagittarian-INFP. Which pretty much proves astrology is bunkum. Except that I've got moon in Cancer! And venus in Scorpio! And.... blah blah blah bs bs bs....

[Calica]

Dontmesswithme said it nicely; I might admire certain traits or abilities in you, so in that way, you could say you`re a hero to me, or if you did something I couldn`t, like save my computer after it crashed. However, I never had a role model and I don`t think I need or want someone to save me from myself, only I can do that.
Still, watch out for the "I need saving" attitude. Being an emotinal dump is probably not in your best interest.

[Tkae]

I don't think it's exclusively female, I get hero dependency from guys as well as girls.

I'm a guy and I have a desire for a "hero".

I don't think it matters.

[Silverity]

I'm a guy and I have a desire for a "hero".

I don't think it matters.

Yeah. I don't think it's sex or type dependent, maybe more of a values thing? If it's not too personal, for anyone who said they wished for a hero--why?

[reb]

i've known a few guys who 'wanted to be saved'. they don't typically do the 'helpless guy' thing where other guys can see it, though....because those of us who don't like that approach make fun of them. i've also known a number of women who are insistent on involving themselves to 'save me from myself'. that can get pretty funny....sometimes, i think there are women who plan those things; i've never had any guys ask me 'how can i get her to save me?', but i have known some women who told me how they were manipulating a man. have given some of them advice to do it, too. if you have no other skills, use the ones you have, ladies lol!

playing the helpless female is cliche, though. there's a reason it's cliche...but, no matter, anyone can get in that situation where they obviously don't know what to do, and look for someone to lead them out of their morass. it's always pretty sad...a dying animal will usually get anyone's sympathy....for awhile...until it becomes obvious that it's like 'the going out of business sale' that goes on forever.

hang onto your utility belt, Mogura. you may need it for yourself. there's a difference between 'be my hero' and having a hero you admire, but don't use like a cleanup rag. when i hear 'be my hero', i watch my step. there's a difference between helping someone because you have knowledge or perspective and getting sucked into their tornado, too. one has to be able to detect the nuances....

[Tkae]

Yeah. I don't think it's sex or type dependent, maybe more of a values thing? If it's not too personal, for anyone who said they wished for a hero--why?

Being at the mercy of my emotions for my entire life has made me want stability -- someone to be a calm force that can make everything better just hugging me or smiling. I suppose I want it as much as possible, to the point that they're taking care of me (financially, emotionally, physically, etc). Not that I want to be totally dependent. It's more that I just want to know that I could be totally dependent.

I suppose I want it in them because while it kinda sucks to be a buoy in the waters of emotion, I still wouldn't change it for anything. So I want someone who doesn't have to change who they are but can still give me what I want in life (strength).

So I just like the thought of someone doing normal things for me, like cooking, or taxes, or taking me on trips. Which is why for a long time I looked towards SJs (but that fell through pretty fast lol).

I suppose I like feeling like a little puppy, who feels safe enough in a relationship to give 100% devotion to its owner :lovestruck:

[BellaBianca]

An ESTJ that I know in my hometown was nicked "the hero" by the rest of us. Our local INFP made a pink fan-site for him.

[Mogura]

i've known a few guys who 'wanted to be saved'. they don't typically do the 'helpless guy' thing where other guys can see it, though....because those of us who don't like that approach make fun of them.
Instead of the 'helpless guy' thing, many guys who 'want to be saved' do the 'bad boy' thing. They need a mommy to 'rescue' them, to take care of them (or rather, become their emotional punching bag as they 'work through' their issues)...

[divinity8]

No way do I want a hero. I want a partner. I believe looking to someone as a hero is not only detrimental to your own self-worth and self-confidence, it is incredibly unfair to the person in the 'hero' position (life is hard enough without the added pressure of being someone else's hero). I just want a man to be himself. We can save the world together.