Personalities Mistaken as Homosexuals

[wolf]

I date so rarely (usually 3-4 years between them) that people assume I'm gay. (I know, I'm not a female - I'm just adding to the sexual orientation ambiguity that we sometimes seem to exude by being single so much.)

[Rei]

I date so rarely (usually 3-4 years between them) that people assume I'm gay. *(I know, I'm not a female - I'm just adding to the sexual orientation ambiguity that we sometimes seem to exude by being single so much.)

Yeah, that IS another thing that seems to make us seem EXTRA likely to be mistaken for being homosexual. Really, I can't really blame people for thinking we are. Seems like everything about us points to it.

[radioactivez0r]

in hopes of defeating my 24 year streak of not having a serious girlfriend.

28. And to add to the fun new topic about who thinks we're gay, my mom asked me once, and honestly I couldn't blame her. I almost never talk about girls, because there's nothing to say. I did mention someone I was interested in while talking to mom yesterday so hopefully that buys me some time :)

[Guido]

I think I had the same convo with my mom when I was 18. She sits me down and asks me all seriously "Are you gay?". I was in complete shock, and actually kind of pissed off. If she was a T maybe I would have been more understanding, but she's always tried to 'get invovled with my life' by figuring out all the details she can, then impose her FJ on it. Very frustrating >_<!

[Rei]

I think I had the same convo with my mom when I was 18. She sits me down and asks me all seriously "Are you gay?". I was in complete shock, and actually kind of pissed off. If she was a T maybe I would have been more understanding, but she's always tried to 'get invovled with my life' by figuring out all the details she can, then impose her FJ on it. Very frustrating >_<!

Sorry but I find that ABSOLUTELY hilarious ::)

But yeah...
for me...
It doesn't help that I have a single friend that I'm almost ALWAYS with, who is female and has been single for as long as I have.

[wolf]

I date so rarely (usually 3-4 years between them) that people assume I'm gay. (I know, I'm not a female - I'm just adding to the sexual orientation ambiguity that we sometimes seem to exude by being single so much.)

Yeah, that IS another thing that seems to make us seem EXTRA likely to be mistaken for being homosexual. Really, I can't really blame people for thinking we are. Seems like everything about us points to it.
I'd need to be a freaking repressed gay if you followed me around, though. At least 2-3 times a year a gay guy overtly hits on me and I don't even realize it until someone else points it out... Not that I'm interested, of course.

I think we also take better care of ourselves than most men, which probably makes the assumption of homosexuality even greater. Female INTJs are usually not particularly girly, which people associate with homosexuality, too. If you want to come up with a single type that will be assumed gay for no other reason than their nature alone, it's definitely our type. Male INFJs probably come in a close second, though.

[Rei]

If you want to come up with a single type that will be assumed gay for no other reason than their nature alone, it's definitely our type. *Male INFJs probably come in a close second, though.


With that said. I really wonder what type has the highest percentage of homosexuals.

Anyone wanna go to a gay pride parade and ask the participants to take the test? :D

[wolf]

If you want to come up with a single type that will be assumed gay for no other reason than their nature alone, it's definitely our type. Male INFJs probably come in a close second, though.


With that said. I really wonder what type has the highest percentage of homosexuals.

Anyone wanna go to a gay pride parade and ask the participants to take the test? :D
My totally off-the-cuff guess would be that the vast majority are SPs, followed by SJs, then other types.

[Rei]

And then you start to wonder if they're gay because of their personality... or because they're gay, they have that personality...

Or if the two are even linked at all...

dammit... off topic...

[Guido]

Hopelessly :P

I think I had the same convo with my mom when I was 18. She sits me down and asks me all seriously "Are you gay?". I was in complete shock, and actually kind of pissed off. If she was a T maybe I would have been more understanding, but she's always tried to 'get invovled with my life' by figuring out all the details she can, then impose her FJ on it. Very frustrating >_<!

Sorry but I find that ABSOLUTELY hilarious *::)

Oh man... I hope that happens to you tomorrow.

[Evalis]

With that said. *I really wonder what type has the highest percentage of homosexuals.
Anyone wanna go to a gay pride parade and ask the participants to take the test? *:D

Hahahahaha! That would be hilarious! Yes. Yes I am game for that. There is one hosted in toronto every year (sometimes even more frequently...). And uhm.. adding to the topic of homosexuality here, I have had people think that I was gay as well. I would not have even known about it, were it not for an incredibly attractive girl wandering by, resulting in one of my co-workers and myself both stopping to watch her pass. We turn to each other with the exact same expression 'Wow, there's a girl I'd like to take home', laugh, and he says, "All this time I thought you were gay"

I think the reason other people might think that INTJs are gay is that the INT type personality tends to have their mind on other things more important than the opposite sex, and do not regularily 'scope' out potential prospects, or with females 'discuss' potential prospects. In fact.. I often find myself more likely to look at another guy for comparitive reasons than I would a girl, because if I'm physically attracted to the female, I don't need a lot of explanation why.. but if she appears attracted to the guy she's with, I"m curious what physical characteristics encouraged that to be the case.

Oh.. and just a question for all the INTJ females... Logically speaking there is no reason to follow the cultural rituals of dating and such, as no guy is going to decline if you wish to skip all that crap.. so why does it appear that the women here have any lack of sexual relations? It should be easy.

[Jezebel]

Have you, as an INTJ, ever been mistaken for being gay due to not sharing your romantic life with people you know? What other personality types might have this problem?





(Split from the INTJ female thread, since it has enough replies to justify having its own topic.)

[Tarrick]

I think the reason other people might think that INTJs are gay is that the INT type personality tends to have their mind on other things more important than the opposite sex, and do not regularily 'scope' out potential prospects, or with females 'discuss' potential prospects.

I know what you mean. Even if I'm currently thinking about what to do about having a relationship with anyone, I rarely (if ever) actively seek female attention.

[Jezebel]

This is interesting. Before I got into a serious relationship, there were rumors going around in my family for a long time that I was a lesbian too. I'm not very girly, plus I never shared my romantic life with my family or commented that guys were "hot" or whatever. I always just told them no and blew them off when they asked, without making much effort to defend my sexuality.

[Rei]

Hopelessly :P

I think I had the same convo with my mom when I was 18. She sits me down and asks me all seriously "Are you gay?". I was in complete shock, and actually kind of pissed off. If she was a T maybe I would have been more understanding, but she's always tried to 'get invovled with my life' by figuring out all the details she can, then impose her FJ on it. Very frustrating >_<!

Sorry but I find that ABSOLUTELY hilarious *::)

Oh man... I hope that happens to you tomorrow.

Oh i'm not worrying. *My mother knows better than to accuse me of being homosexual. *I don't talk to her about guys... but I do conplain how my campus is 66% girls... and... I hope the pretty ones all turn lesbian, so that I'll have a better chance with the guys *:-X

I think the reason other people might think that INTJs are gay is that the INT type personality tends to have their mind on other things more important than the opposite sex, and do not regularily 'scope' out potential prospects, or with females 'discuss' potential prospects. In fact.. I often find myself more likely to look at another guy for comparitive reasons than I would a girl, because if I'm physically attracted to the female, I don't need a lot of explanation why.. but if she appears attracted to the guy she's with, I"m curious what physical characteristics encouraged that to be the case.

Oh.. and just a question for all the INTJ females... Logically speaking there is no reason to follow the cultural rituals of dating and such, as no guy is going to decline if you wish to skip all that crap.. so why does it appear that the women here have any lack of sexual relations? It should be easy.


That's so true! Well i've gotten more open about discussing guys thesedays... but not seriously... It helps break the ice with girls if I join in the GUSHING. And yeah, I do find I'd look at a pretty girl and say "damn I wish I had skin like that."
I'd LIKE to have a relationship... but I totally have better things to do than to actively look for guys...

If i got the jist of your question right... here's what I'm going to answer:
It sometimes intimidates guys or hurts guys' pride when we are as 'manly' as they are. *Let's just say, even if we don't follow cultural rituals, most other people do. *It's hard to find someone who won't actually...

[Guido]

That's not going to stop me from hoping! :o

It'd be really neat to become good friends with or date another INTJ. I'm curious how many of those cultural rituals we could shave off and generally confuse others around us.

[Tarrick]

Indeed Guido. Imagine doing it your whole life....Makes me simulate the feeling of warm fuzzies inside using my intuition.

[Firelie]

Oh.. and just a question for all the INTJ females... Logically speaking there is no reason to follow the cultural rituals of dating and such, as no guy is going to decline if you wish to skip all that crap.. so why does it appear that the women here have any lack of sexual relations? It should be easy.

I don't know about the rest of the females here, but after that first practice-run guy, I learned that sex just wasn't as fascinating as I thought it was, and now I'm content to wait until a more appropriate (aka not a manic-depressive asshat) man comes along.

[Tarrick]

I learned that sex just wasn't as fascinating as I thought it was, and now I'm content to wait until a more appropriate (aka not a manic-depressive asshat) man comes along.


I think that because we are so mental in our lives, the person is more important then the act. Simply having sex with someone you don't really care about seems like it would be rather hollow.

[drc]

This is interesting. Before I got into a serious relationship, there were rumors going around in my family for a long time that I was a lesbian too. I'm not very girly, plus I never shared my romantic life with my family or commented that guys were "hot" or whatever. I always just told them no and blew them off when they asked, without making much effort to defend my sexuality.

Exact same for me, except replace guy with girl. :| My house in college was surrounded by girls that were in sororities. They would always try to talk to me when I came out side ect but I mostly just smiled or waved and kept walking. After a while they must of got frustrated. I got a large heart and a penis drawn on my car. It made me laugh atleast.

[rwyatt365]

Interesting topic, and more so because two days ago my wife asked me (after an hours-long lecture on how I'm not satisfying her emotional needs, and that the things that I do are not what she needs to feel secure) point-blank, "Are you gay?". She was dead serious and I was surprised and more than a little pissed.

I guess just because I don't start every sentence with "Sweetie" or "Baby" then I must be gay.

To me, there's a time and a place for "relationship" - and it's not every waking moment. My penchant for wanting to be left alone has often interfered with "getting with" someone, and that has sometimes been interpreted as homosexuality (although I don't see the connection). I guess if I don't drool when Halle Berry is flashed across the screen means I don't like girls.

[Evalis]

If i got the jist of your question right... here's what I'm going to answer:
It sometimes intimidates guys or hurts guys' pride when we are as 'manly' as they are. *Let's just say, even if we don't follow cultural rituals, most other people do. *It's hard to find someone who won't actually...


Could you descbribe a scenario in which you've tried this? I'm curious ^^;

[Rei]

I didn't try... I've been told this. (of course this only one side of the story, but anyway)

Once... I was told, by a guy, that they didn't know what to act like around me because they can't treat me like they treat other girls, and they can't completely go all out and be a guy. Along a similar line, there's been awkward times when a guy friend didn't know whether to hold the door for me or not (and I ended up doing so for him because it was annoying me beyond belief), after which he said "wow that burned". I was also informed that guys wouldn't like a girl who can hit harder than he can. Now tie that to the value of his pride in the general male population. :thinking:

Mind you, these are just guy friends who've known me well enough to have gotten used to it by now. It'd probably burn worse if the relationship was at a potential love interest status.

I know guys I -myself- consider girlier than I am. And I must say, I'm independent and whatever other INTJ female attributes you want to add to this list, but I'd be nice to find a guy that's NOT wimpier than I am :suspicious: Which tends to cut the male population by about a quarter already.

Plus INTJ's in general are picky as spoiled house cats. The chances of the one in ten million that you actually find interesting as well as attractive feeling the same about you is... minute. That's why...

[Tarrick]

Indeed Rei. That's why.

[Rei]

Indeed Rei. That's why.

Why do you sound sarcastic to me

[Tarrick]

Sarcastic? No. Well...maybe a little. More like cynical, but meh.

It's just that we have such stringent requirements that we can start to despair about not being able to find anyone. So it both makes harder to find someone and also limits our willingness to look.

[Max T]

I always just told them no and blew them off when they asked, without making much effort to defend my sexuality.
... You blew them off! Wasn't "no" sufficient?
(ROFLMAO just kidding Jezebel!)

Like it Guido re. shaving off cultural rituals- reminds you of the film "A Beautiful Mind" when John Nash bluntly asks the girl "would you mind if we cut straight to the sharing of bodily fluids". Surely a perfect start to a relationship.

I shave my legs and wear brightly coloured tight lycra to race road bicycles on a week-end so no confusion about sexuality here.

Seriously, I'm surprised by this subject thread- to grossly stereotype gays as emotionally inclined and arts- oriented (not business/ science/ technology), aren't many INTJ’s the antithesis to this?

[Jezebel]

I always just told them no and blew them off when they asked, without making much effort to defend my sexuality.
... You blew them off! * *Wasn't "no" sufficient?
(ROFLMAO just kidding Jezebel!)
Ha. Yeah, real funny, Max. *:P

[Apococlock]

Have you, as an INTJ, ever been mistaken for being gay due to not sharing your romantic life with people you know? What other personality types might have this problem?

(Split from the INTJ female thread, since it has enough replies to justify having its own topic.)

No, No I have not. I'm acrually pretty good about sharing my "romantic life" with other people, and I'm fairly open about everything. It's just how I roll.

[lollercancer]

i can't believe this site, i come here and i run into myself all over.

This thread and the thread where no one likes talking on the phone in particulum.

[Rei]

i can't believe this site, i come here and i run into myself all over.

This thread and the thread where no one likes talking on the phone in particulum.


XD
Yeah I haven't gotten over that either, the similarities are so specific. And here I was thinking I was special and the only one with these same specific problems/aversions. ::)

[The Rose]

Have you, as an INTJ, ever been mistaken for being gay due to not sharing your romantic life with people you know? What other personality types might have this problem?

(Split from the INTJ female thread, since it has enough replies to justify having its own topic.)I have been the victim of a rumor that I was a lesbian.
But since it was in a bar full of divorced drunks,
maybe it was a favor in disguise.
I was shocked to discover the persistence of this rumor since
when I met my husband in that place a couple of years later
(my parents made me work there)
one of the first things he asked me was if I was a lesbian,
since he had apparently heard the rumor.
People are stupid.

[The Rose]

...
I think we also take better care of ourselves than most men, which probably makes the assumption of homosexuality even greater. *Female INTJs are usually not particularly girly, which people associate with homosexuality, too. *If you want to come up with a single type that will be assumed gay for no other reason than their nature alone, it's definitely our type. *Male INFJs probably come in a close second, though.Yeah I would think some "F" guys and some "T" women struggle with it more than others.

[The Rose]

Interesting topic, and more so because two days ago my wife asked me (after an hours-long lecture on how I'm not satisfying her emotional needs, and that the things that I do are not what she needs to feel secure) point-blank, "Are you gay?". She was dead serious and I was surprised and more than a little pissed...Oh man! LOL! That's funny!
Aren't you the one who's been married about 12 years?
What did you say her type was?
Hmmm...
ENTJ...

Do ENTJs even HAVE emotional needs?!

I know you didn't ask for advice,
but I recommend finding out what your wife's love language is.
That's the way that SHE PERCEIVES love.
You might want to do a little troubleshooting.
I'm just saying...

[rwyatt365]

Oh man! LOL! That's funny!
Aren't you the one who's been married about 12 years?
What did you say her type was?
Hmmm...
ENTJ...

Do ENTJs even HAVE emotional needs?!

Yes, married 12 years. And her personality profile was taken about 5-6 years ago. Since then she has morphed into "something else". She has become a complete dependant; not wanting to go anywhere or do anything, being afraid of everything, very clingy and jealous. If I don't say "I love you" every day five times a day, every day then our relationship is in trouble. I'm slowly going out of my mind trying to keep up with her ever expanding needs.

I know you didn't ask for advice,
but I recommend finding out what your wife's love language is.
That's the way that SHE PERCEIVES love.
You might want to do a little troubleshooting.
I'm just saying...

I know, but you can't help yourself (it's that problem-solver thing).
I know what her love language is, I just don't think I'm capable of speaking that language! The big thing is that her "J" is strong and if I don't meet her standards then she is "compromising", and compromise is not an option. Besides, what she wants is "easy" and is "normal" so "what's your problem?" !!

[The Rose]

Oh man! LOL! That's funny!
Aren't you the one who's been married about 12 years?
What did you say her type was?
Hmmm...
ENTJ...

Do ENTJs even HAVE emotional needs?!

Yes, married 12 years. And her personality profile was taken about 5-6 years ago. Since then she has morphed into "something else". She has become a complete dependant; not wanting to go anywhere or do anything, being afraid of everything, very clingy and jealous. If I don't say "I love you" every day five times a day, every day then our relationship is in trouble. I'm slowly going out of my mind trying to keep up with her ever expanding needs.

I know you didn't ask for advice,
but I recommend finding out what your wife's love language is.
That's the way that SHE PERCEIVES love.
You might want to do a little troubleshooting.
I'm just saying...
[quote]I know, but you can't help yourself (it's that problem-solver thing). tee-hee

I know what her love language is, I just don't think I'm capable of speaking that language! The big thing is that her "J" is strong and if I don't meet her standards then she is "compromising", and compromise is not an option. Besides, what she wants is "easy" and is "normal" so "what's your problem?" !!
Poor you. That's awful.


I don't know if you read my post in the friendship thread about my ISFJ friend.
She made me feel the way you sound like you feel in trying to please your wife.
I felt suffocated by having to do everything exactly the way she wanted me to or else I would hurt her feelings.
And don't you know there way hell to pay for that!
You sound like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place.

If your wife is about the same age as you, it could be her hormones running rampant.
There's so many things it could be.

[rwyatt365]

I don't know if you read my post in the friendship thread about my ISFJ friend.
She made me feel the way you sound like you feel in trying to please your wife.
I felt suffocated by having to do everything exactly the way she wanted me to or else I would hurt her feelings.
And don't you know there way hell to pay for that!
You sound like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place.

If your wife is about the same age as you, it could be her hormones running rampant.
There's so many things it could be.

I haven't read your post, but I will...

I don't dare mention the "M"-word, or you'll find my dried and tanned hide swaying softly in the breeze on the outskirts of town :scared: .

So I dutifully listen the the lectures, nod my head in agreement at the appropriate times, make whatever "course adjustments" that I can make and then wait for the next time. After a while you learn to live with it.

[The Rose]

It's here:
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[rwyatt365]

I'm gonna ask her to re-test tonight (wish me luck boys, I'M GOIN' IN!!! :thumbsup: ). I'll post the results - if I survive. ;)

[The Rose]

I'm gonna ask her to re-test tonight (wish me luck boys, I'M GOIN' IN!!! *:thumbsup: ). I'll post the results - if I survive. *;)LOL! Okay, we'll be thinking of ya!

[wedekit]

I'm gay and constantly mistaken for straight if that contributes to anything...

[Rei]

I'm gay and constantly mistaken for straight if that contributes to anything...

Hum... we should rename this topic to:
Personalities causing mistakening in sexual orientation.
Or something along that line.

INTJ's simply don't act like how people generally expect people to act.

[Firelie]

I'm gay and constantly mistaken for straight if that contributes to anything...


Haha, awesome. The opposite end of the spectrum! I wonder why that is. I think people just don't know what to think about INTJs. Or something. Yeah, my brain is fried tonight.

[wedekit]

My guess is that we aren't as sexually open/motivated as the stereotypical guy. It's pretty annoying when all someone can seem to talk about is their penis, or make some reference to it.

I do wonder if there is some consistency in gays and types.

[Firelie]

I do wonder if there is some consistency in gays and types.

I think there are posts somewhere about this, though I'm pretty sure there's just as big a spectrum as in the straight community. I know there's that big ol stereotype of gay guys being poofy and fabulous, but all of the gay men I've met seemed to have played that part like an actor at times rather than being that way naturally

[Tarrick]

Yeah. I knew a few of them at college and they acted like normal guys. /Shrug I blame the media.

[wedekit]

Yeah, the media is probably not helping. It's similar to how celebrities are portrayed on the media. They only show what they know people want to watch. (ie. Lindsay Lohan doing cocaine = Chris Crocker defending Britney Spears on YouTube.)

[Rei]

One of my uncles is gay. *Got married recently actually. *He and his partner are worthy of envy *:-/

But yeah... regular guy, except when you see him exchanging looks with his partner anyway...



Chris Crocker defended Britney Spears on youtube? :suspicious:

[The Rose]

I'm gonna ask her to re-test tonight (wish me luck boys, I'M GOIN' IN!!! :thumbsup: ). I'll post the results - if I survive. ;)So...
Did you do it?
How'd it go?

[aude]

I havent dated in the last 10 years and i am 27. I find it so damn predictable, that leads it be so boring. I am bi-sexual. And depending on the crowd i will get mistaken for either. Had two people fight over my sexuality once. Damn that was the weirdest day and embarrassing as well. I just walked a way from it.

[futureperfect5]

Wow, I would just think of you as a person who enjoys privacy.
Don't let people bully you into "sharing" things that you wish to keep private.
It is none of their business. :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[Jezebel]

Off topic replies have been moved to This Thread

[Rei]

Wow, I would just think of you as a person who enjoys privacy.
Don't let people bully you into "sharing" things that you wish to keep private.
It is none of their business. :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

I don't think it's possible to bully INTJs' into anything, let alone revealing private things considering one must be comfortable to reveal anything.
If anything, it'd have to be some very very very patient coxing.

[aude]

thats the thing my sexual preference means nothing to me. Thats why i can relate it with out it being considered private. Its useless to say some one is this and some one is that. I dont really believe in that animalistic behavior to be justifiable. I meant to say was that i am considered bi sexual to the people i hang around. Thinking in a tired foggy brain produces illogical messages :)

[Frank]

My coworker thinking that I was guy was amusing but understandable she didn’t explain why she felt this way about me. I just think that she “felt it”. I didn’t take any offense to it and we both got a laugh.
My Mother hinting that it was ok to be gay was a little frustrating because it was more personal. It was ok though because she is wrong about a lot of things, she is convinced that John Edwards really talks with the dead.

[Jbmontag]

This is pretty cool to know I'm not the only one. Plenty of people have mistaken me as being homosexual.

I am constantly hit on by men. It never bothers me, gay men usually have impeccable taste and I'm a raging narcissist. I just see it as an affirmation ;D

One of my co-workers confided in me that he thought I was gay because I write poetry, sing show tunes to myself, and don't talk about my sex life. Guilt by omission I guess. I've never concerned myself with someone's bedroom unless I'm involved in what happens there. I just assumed most everybody was like that.

[quartertone]

All teh time.

The only really gay things about me are that I whistle all the time and I guess I have kind of a gay haircut. Other than that I'm rather stoic and masculine.

I think people just assume you are gay when you are too shy to talk about the girls you like.

[Jon]

All teh time.

The only really gay things about me are that I whistle all the time and I guess I have kind of a gay haircut. Other than that I'm rather stoic and masculine.

I think people just assume you are gay when you are too shy to talk about the girls you like.

If you'd ever heard Scorpions' Wind of Change (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.), you'd know there's nothing effeminate about whistling.

Not that there's anything effeminate about being gay. You guys seem to keep making the same assumptions about gay people via your use of gay as a word meaning "not normal".

[Tarrick]

I don't know about the rest of you, but "gay" means happy and joyful. :thumbsup:

[Zard Lucifer]

Have you, as an INTJ, ever been mistaken for being gay due to not sharing your romantic life with people you know? What other personality types might have this problem?

(Split from the INTJ female thread, since it has enough replies to justify having its own topic.)

All the time.

I firmly believe that men have to take care of themselves more than women cause women can use makeup.


Plus INTJ's in general are picky as spoiled house cats. *The chances of the one in ten million that you actually find interesting as well as attractive feeling the same about you is... minute. *That's why...

I agree. And because of this, I have girls that like me labeling me as gay instead because of my disinterest.
I also tend to keep myself in a disinterested state when dealing with women to maintain things professional.

And I don't think it helps that I'm into J-Rock, specifically Dir en grey.
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[phoenix]

Well, as I am gay, it happens quite frequently, yeah.

[Jbmontag]

Well, as I am gay, it happens quite frequently, yeah.

That kind of mistake smacks of Monopoly.

Bank error in your favor, collect 200 phone numbers ;)

[phoenix]

Phone numbers! I knew I bought that little black book for a reason...so I could remember the names that go with the numbers!

I'm so awful with names....

[iamnotspock]

Ha ha, this is a great thread! I think my parents had written me off as gay when they found out about my first girlfriend. Worse is going to clubs and getting hit on by gay guys. But I've used it as motivation. I will be standing there looking at some women and not doing anything when I see that dude staring me down. And I realize, either I go put my arm around a female -- or he will put his arm around me!!

Also, I have to say, a lot of women who chased after me would accuse me of being gay if I didn't return their interest despite being single. I think that is the female ego. If he doesn't want me, he *must* be gay. Slim, single, over 30 ... MUST be gay (or secretly married).

[Rei]

The only really gay things about me are that I whistle all the time and I guess I have kind of a gay haircut. Other than that I'm rather stoic and masculine.

Whistling is a homosexual thing to do?

I whistle all the time and I get scolded because it's not something a girl should do.

[rwyatt365]

The only really gay things about me are that I whistle all the time and I guess I have kind of a gay haircut. Other than that I'm rather stoic and masculine.

Whistling is a homosexual thing to do?

I whistle all the time and I get scolded because it's not something a girl should do.
Uh-oh, I walk through the halls at work occasionally whistling :o is that why they look at me funny??? :scared:

[Rei]

The only really gay things about me are that I whistle all the time and I guess I have kind of a gay haircut. Other than that I'm rather stoic and masculine.

Whistling is a homosexual thing to do?

I whistle all the time and I get scolded because it's not something a girl should do.
Uh-oh, I walk through the halls at work occasionally whistling :o is that why they look at me funny??? :scared:

Well I'm guessing you're pardoned from the Homosexual suspicion because you're married. :thumbsup:

[rwyatt365]

Uh-oh, I walk through the halls at work occasionally whistling *:o is that why they look at me funny??? *:scared:

Well I'm guessing you're pardoned from the Homosexual suspicion because you're married. * :thumbsup:
...but married to a woman that suspects that I'm gay! :o

The proverbial double-whammy? How can I rid myself of this accursed stigma? :scared:
[sarcasm alert, no offense gay comrades]

[Rei]

Uh-oh, I walk through the halls at work occasionally whistling *:o is that why they look at me funny??? *:scared:

Well I'm guessing you're pardoned from the Homosexual suspicion because you're married. * :thumbsup:
...but married to a woman that suspects that I'm gay! *:o

The proverbial double-whammy? How can I rid myself of this accursed stigma? *:scared:
[sarcasm alert, no offense gay comrades]
Wolf-whistle at the occasional hot chick that passes by? :thinking:

[OneBadMother]

I have a vague suspicion that would be worse. :P

I'm never mistaken for a lesbian. People either think I'm a 14-year-old boy or a straight female. That's always kind of bewildered me how easily they make that transition in thought. "Oh, you're not male? Skipping lesbian assumptions!"

[Firelie]

Uh-oh, I walk through the halls at work occasionally whistling *:o is that why they look at me funny??? *:scared:

Well I'm guessing you're pardoned from the Homosexual suspicion because you're married. * :thumbsup:
...but married to a woman that suspects that I'm gay! *:o

The proverbial double-whammy? How can I rid myself of this accursed stigma? *:scared:
[sarcasm alert, no offense gay comrades]

Maybe you should sit her down and force her to read this thread. :D

[Rei]

Uh-oh, I walk through the halls at work occasionally whistling :o is that why they look at me funny??? :scared:

Well I'm guessing you're pardoned from the Homosexual suspicion because you're married. :thumbsup:
...but married to a woman that suspects that I'm gay! :o

The proverbial double-whammy? How can I rid myself of this accursed stigma? :scared:
[sarcasm alert, no offense gay comrades]

Maybe you should sit her down and force her to read this thread. :D

Yeah that's probably the most practical idea.

Print it out and post it on the fridge/work place bulletin board? ;)

[rwyatt365]

My guess is that she would read some of it, dismiss the responses as irrelevant (because they don't conform to her opinion), label everyone as a homosexual apologist and then berate me for posting our "personal business" on the 'Net.

But that's just a guess. :thinking:

[mind_wander]

I've got hit with this label before too, which sux man. I don't like getting hit with that label, but we have a unique personality, so rarely anyone understand our intellegectual side.

[melon]

A while back, I was having a conversation with my family about something random. Out of nowhere, my mom got a serious look and asked me, "You're not gay, are you?" It was surprising, but I just laughed it off and assured her that I was straight. Now it's sort of an inside family joke, though. ;D

[snoogit]

One time as a *cough* personal experiment *cough* I wanted to figure out why the girls in high school would always hung out with the openly gay male in school. So I got to know the openly gay male, and it seemed to net me a few female acquaintances for a few weeks. After they figured out I was merely curious about the situation as to why they gravitated toward him, the female acquaintances disappeared.

I hated to be so dishonest, but at the same time I had to know! In the end, I boiled it down to "novelty", and moved onto other endeavors.

Why tell this story? because at this time I too got the "Are you gay?" question, but two days later, she found my under mattress "research materials" which proved without a doubt I was NOT gay, but did earn me a stern lecturing, which of course I just ignored anyway. ;D

[deicruxified]

Have you, as an INTJ, ever been mistaken for being gay due to not sharing your romantic life with people you know? What other personality types might have this problem?





(Split from the INTJ female thread, since it has enough replies to justify having its own topic.)
ditto... everyone thinks i'm a lesbian lol

[mind_wander]

If I was not an INTJ, I would respond. Uh, Go get a life! and back off; you don't know me, on how I feelemotionally. I just wanted my personal space. Is there a problem with that? When questions like this been asked toward me with frustration, these are the comments I really wanted to say.

[patobrocks]

Oh.. and just a question for all the INTJ females... Logically speaking there is no reason to follow the cultural rituals of dating and such, as no guy is going to decline if you wish to skip all that crap.. so why does it appear that the women here have any lack of sexual relations? It should be easy.

I don't know about the rest of the females here, but after that first practice-run guy, I learned that sex just wasn't as fascinating as I thought it was, and now I'm content to wait until a more appropriate (aka not a manic-depressive asshat) man comes along.


Picking on all manic-depressives or just a particular asshat?

[GOD]

Oh i'm not worrying. *My mother knows better than to accuse me of being homosexual. *I don't talk to her about guys... but I do conplain how my campus is 66% girls... and... I hope the pretty ones all turn lesbian, so that I'll have a better chance with the guys *:-X

My response....

Hey, send the really fit and hot ones my way (If they do yoga even better). I'll save them from the lesbians... * :thumbsup: It would only be the right thing to do....

[GOD]

I didn't try... I've been told this. *(of course this only one side of the story, but anyway)

Once... I was told, by a guy, that they didn't know what to act like around me because they can't treat me like they treat other girls, and they can't completely go all out and be a guy. *Along a similar line, there's been awkward times when a guy friend didn't know whether to hold the door for me or not (and I ended up doing so for him because it was annoying me beyond belief), after which he said "wow that burned". *I was also informed that guys wouldn't like a girl who can hit harder than he can. *Now tie that to the value of his pride in the general male population. *:thinking:

Mind you, these are just guy friends who've known me well enough to have gotten used to it by now. *It'd probably burn worse if the relationship was at a potential love interest status.

I know guys I -myself- consider girlier than I am. *And I must say, I'm independent and whatever other INTJ female attributes you want to add to this list, but I'd be nice to find a guy that's NOT wimpier than I am *:suspicious: *Which tends to cut the male population by about a quarter already.

Plus INTJ's in general are picky as spoiled house cats. *The chances of the one in ten million that you actually find interesting as well as attractive feeling the same about you is... minute. *That's why...

Yip, you've got it to a T.

INTJ's want all the brains and then they want the equal in physical terms.

Its like, If I'm the smartest and most able then I should have the best brains and looks as well.

Tell you what, its seriously difficult to find that. very difficult. And being introverted really cuts down the social connectivity to find those ellusive pebbles....

Guys are probably luckier than than the INTJ women... as we can go for some good looking F that relies on us to be the intellectual saviour and breadwinner. (problem is that I'm drawn to Melancholic women).

[Firelie]

Picking on all manic-depressives or just a particular asshat?

Just that particular asshat. There are just some things about yourself that another person needs to know before you plant your ass in their apartment for two weeks...

[GOD]

Interesting topic, and more so because two days ago my wife asked me (after an hours-long lecture on how I'm not satisfying her emotional needs, and that the things that I do are not what she needs to feel secure) point-blank, "Are you gay?". She was dead serious and I was surprised and more than a little pissed.


Oh god.... you sound Hen pecked.

Whats funny in your situation, is that if you really were good at understanding her emotional needs you would probably be more likely gay.... ;D

[thegnat]

Hm, I don't know their personalities. But my grandma thought my dad was gay. And his brother was straight. It ended up being the exact opposite.

[GOD]

All teh time.

The only really gay things about me are that I whistle all the time and I guess I have kind of a gay haircut. Other than that I'm rather stoic and masculine.

I think people just assume you are gay when you are too shy to talk about the girls you like.

Yip, shy people get labelled as gay for no other reason than not expressing what they like.

[GOD]

Ha ha, this is a great thread! I think my parents had written me off as gay when they found out about my first girlfriend. Worse is going to clubs and getting hit on by gay guys. But I've used it as motivation. I will be standing there looking at some women and not doing anything when I see that dude staring me down. And I realize, either I go put my arm around a female -- or he will put his arm around me!!

Also, I have to say, a lot of women who chased after me would accuse me of being gay if I didn't return their interest despite being single. I think that is the female ego. If he doesn't want me, he *must* be gay. Slim, single, over 30 ... MUST be gay (or secretly married).

Lol... some women call guys gay when they can't believe that a guy doesn't like them (As its a massive slap down in their minds).

Even more creepy though is women that are significantly older than yourself giving you the eye... it gives me the creeps...

[Nomad]

New here, and I will say that I'm amazed at meeting myself here as well. My dad thought I was gay and never brought it up, I only found out after he died. He did apply some version of logic, however. I moved to LA with a lesbian for work purposes ( it solved a lot of problems simultaneously) and then I moved to San Francisco. His conclusion as a complete surprise to me. He could have simply asked.

-Nomad

[Chainsaw Dundee]

I've been questioned on this before, and actually hit on by a couple of guys.

I think it might be because Im good looking and confident, but not flirtatious.

[mind_wander]

You know someone in here who just signed up is actually a gay INTJ. But, I don't go on the gay INTJ bashing. Hey, you are you, lets leave it as that.

[ShaiGar]

I used to be annoyed that it happened to me on a regular basis. Because it is not polite to just stare at breasts and arses all day long, I have always made that as subtle as possible. To the point where it appears that I am not ever looking at girls, where I was looking at guys (checking out competition). I don't check out guys anymore for competition, now because I am working out I look to see what I want my body to look like, after all there is no competition for me. (not arrogance, an approach).

After working at a laboring job with an ENTP (suspected) he and I were constantly talking as depraved as we could, accusing and accepting roles such as Homosexual, Pedophile, Bestiality, and so on. Getting called gay after pretending to be a pedophile for a few hours really doesn't affect anymore. Luckily none of my parents have ever tried sitting down and talking with me... But that might have something to do with the porn I "ineffectually" hide on computers or bookmarks.

I agree that it might be because we rarely date. I myself am far too picky according to some. But while casual sex is a nice lazy alternative to masturbation, I don't like wasting the time playing mindgames or forking out cash for her drinks. To me, the person is far more important, and I find more pleasure in kissing, and making out, especially naked makeouts. I'd rather avoid a thousand pretty women who are dullards, waiting to find or meet an attractive girl who is interesting.

Still, it's easier to be called gay than pathetic.

[Fecal McAngry]

I'm gay and constantly mistaken for straight if that contributes to anything...
I'm something of a fan of actor Robert Grant *( To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ), who 1) seems a very clear INTJ, and 2) actually had to "make the effort" to come out as gay, as his natural behavior wasn't setting the world's Gaydar a-jangle, unlike, oh, Tom or Jake or John or Jodie or...

[Fecal McAngry]

If you want to come up with a single type that will be assumed gay for no other reason than their nature alone, it's definitely our type. *Male INFJs probably come in a close second, though.
I dunno. Interesting puzzle. I'd guess that your ideal "most disproportionately mistaken for gay" MBTI type for men would be 1)"sensitive"--i.e. F; 2) discrete WRT expressing interest in women--i.e. Introverted; Somewhat prissy/anal (FJ), and...weird (N)...

So...INFJ is perhaps the type in question. We INFPs can't be terribly far behind, however; despite our slovenliness we're infinitely softer of heart. I've been assumed to be gay frequently in the past & I'm perfectly fine with that; what irks me is when I respond that I'm straight and my answer is...Simply. Not. Believed. *:thumbsdown:

[Jezebel]

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