Always Thinking/Ceaseless striving

[Taberculosis]

Does anyone else have the inability to enjoy anything because they are constantly thinking, ceaselessly striving and perfectionistic?

Last night I played Rock Band with some people I just met. Well, I'm pretty awesome at guitar hero (but only because I practiced and practiced and it's not even fun anymore) and they thought I'd be good on the drums. I naturally lack rythm and can't pick up a beat, and I seriously sucked ass.

I was getting so mad because I couldn't get it and it wasn't even fun because I wasn't perfect at it.

This happens with everything I do. If it doesn't come naturally to me, I make sure to get better than enyone else. It's sooooo exhausting though. I get tired of being pissed off at not being good at EVEYTHING that I eventually just quit trying ANYTHING new ....which makes me boring and makes me seem like a stick in the mud and junk....

Is anyone else this uptight that they can't seem to enjoy anything??

[eclecticjoker]

I've often felt that I wouldn't want to bother with something unless I could be exceedingly good at it. That's why I never enjoyed sports as a kid. There was nothing unappealing about running around, but I was uncoordinated and pretty bad at most games. The only ones I liked were the ones that required only hand-eye coordination with no risk of physical injury, 'cause I was also quite the fraidy cat.

I have grown out of that feeling to an extent. I can try things and not be good at them and still enjoy them. I have to process them differently, though; I can't enjoy competition if I'm losing (or doing poorly). If I don't "compete" in my mind, I can lose and have fun. (The competitions I'm referring to can just be implied. Having to be good or the best at something is competition, even if there is no acknowledgment of a "winner".)

HOWEVER

I kick ass on drums in Rock Band. XD

[Taberculosis]

The only ones I liked were the ones that required only hand-eye coordination


Ha. I lack hand-eye coordination. I can't draw a straight line with a ruler let alone by hand.

If we had to draw charts or graphs in math I refused to draw them because I knew they would be sloppy and not neat and clean.

[pensivemuse7]

Does anyone else have the inability to enjoy anything because they are constantly thinking, ceaselessly striving and perfectionistic?

I was getting so mad because I couldn't get it and it wasn't even fun because I wasn't perfect at it.

This happens with everything I do. If it doesn't come naturally to me, I make sure to get better than enyone else. It's sooooo exhausting though.

Is anyone else this uptight that they can't seem to enjoy anything??

All of that describes me mostly. I still try to enjoy what i am good at. But i believe in constantly improving myself because I think of myself as an individual capable of doing well at almost anything.

Perfectionism can be a problem for me. It causes me to get worried and stressed a lot when I know i shouldn't. I am getting better at letting go things that I may not know a lot about or may not be good at. But at the same time, I work little by little gaining as much experience and knowledge as i can. I realize I may not be a natural at some things, but I always try and i get what i want.

I guess trying to be good at anything is always a hassle. I just try to remind myself of what I am good at while others are not.

[HousesOfApollo]

Definitely. When I was a kid, I used to freak out every time I lost a game of Monopoly. I became obsessed with the game and started practicing on a computerized version of it. After hours of practice alone, I got so freaking good at Monopoly that I practically won every time I played the game. Heck, I was even a perfectionist at Shoots And Ladders. That's how absurd I was as a kid.

Now I don't play video games anymore; I see them as time that could be spend doing something else. The achievements within the hyperreality of the game system should not bother you, even if it does make it seem like you're incompetent in some way.

I often find myself engaging others in a non-competitive way. I enjoy cooperating with others more than I do competing with them--even though this cooperation is often a little one-sided when I start giving orders.

[Zilal]

I do tend to want to improve at whatever activity my friends have suggested for "fun," whether it's throwing a frisbee around or playing Yahtzee. I want to be better at it at the end than I was when I started, or I want to win. This doesn't keep me from having fun, but it does seem a little, well, INTJ-ish.

[Kitsune]

Life is too short to piddle away time on things you don't intend upon becoming skilled at.

[thod]

Life is too short to piddle away time on things you don't intend upon becoming skilled at.

Life is too short to become skilled at things. In spending all your time on one thing you miss out on all the others.

[Caramel]

Does anyone else have the inability to enjoy anything because they are constantly thinking, ceaselessly striving and perfectionistic?

Is anyone else this uptight that they can't seem to enjoy anything??

YES!

I was just about to open a topic on this, thanks for saving me the time. ;)

I cannot enjoy something if I'm not good at it, or not in the process of becoming good at it. If I'm not good at something, I simply don't do it.

And I never show my abilities to others unless they're up to my standards. So in the case of Guitar Hero, no entering in competitions, cause I can't hit all the notes on through fires and flames on expert setting.. :blank:

[Kitsune]

Life is too short to become skilled at things. In spending all your time on one thing you miss out on all the others.

In spreading your time about you miss out on focus.

All things are purchased at the expense of other things.

[nyshygirl71]

This is a problem for me also. I am constantly analyzing everything about myself, others and everyone around me and striving for perfection always ending up disappointed of course because that is an impossible feat.

[Jakalwarrior]

I have this to a lesser degree, and so do most people. How many times have you asked somone to do X and they reply "No, I suck at that" ;)

Personally I can stand losing, but im darn sure to be plotting my victory and bettering myself. On things like guitar hero etc.. I don't care since I don't own the game and dont expect to be competative with my friends who play it all the time (Im a PC gamer nerd, anti-consolist)

[OddFactor]

I'm exactly the same way. And to top it off, I'm very competitive. So, not only do I hate sucking/failing at something, I also hate losing at it if it's a game. Especially when I feel I should win. If I know that people are definitely better than I am and I'm new then I don't get upset over losing, though. I surprised myself on drums because I suck, in comparison to those I know, in real drums; I'm a guitarist. But I owned at them and was basically just switching instruments if someone else couldn't get a part right.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

I am this way, but much less than before. I think it is because I believe that if I can't prove myself all the time and in everything I do, then I am not worthwhile.

[ssrprotege]

I've often felt that I wouldn't want to bother with something unless I could be exceedingly good at it. That's why I never enjoyed sports as a kid. There was nothing unappealing about running around, but I was uncoordinated and pretty bad at most games. The only ones I liked were the ones that required only hand-eye coordination with no risk of physical injury, 'cause I was also quite the fraidy cat.

I have grown out of that feeling to an extent. I can try things and not be good at them and still enjoy them. I have to process them differently, though; I can't enjoy competition if I'm losing (or doing poorly). If I don't "compete" in my mind, I can lose and have fun. (The competitions I'm referring to can just be implied. Having to be good or the best at something is competition, even if there is no acknowledgment of a "winner".)

HOWEVER

I kick ass on drums in Rock Band. XD

eclecticjoker, yes, I understand your feelings (with my head, not necessarily by heart :)), because I was never good at sports. If it never interested me, I didn't really try it either, and even refused to do it (thus I didn't care despite 67% in P.E.). I think it's essential that we get out of those feelings; I hate to face reality, but we cannot only do things we want.

And I don't like competitions or contest I have hard time winning. Maybe that's why I prefer contemplative math to competitive math, such as PUTNAM Competitions. I find myself enjoying more when I do not have any obligation that I should do well (whereas in competitions I should do. ;)) Correct me if I did not understand the word "competition" in the right context.

[deepFlow]

I explore many directions in my head, and rarely actually sit down to try them in reality. And when I do, I end up getting frustrated at "not doing anything good". That's about the time I usually consider it pointless to continue since I don't have enough interest to justify focusing exclusively enough to "become good".

It seems a lot of things end up "not being interesting enough".... So, I dunno, just looking at my own pattern there, it starts looking like a psychological perfectionist problem rather than genuine lack of interest....

Edit: So based on the above, I seem to cease-striving pretty easily. But then... looked at another way, I seem to keep pounding my own face into the self erected brick walls just-this-side-of actually-doing-something. So I am ever striving mentally, but never striving physically.

Like fancying I "would like to do some acting", and spending too much time reading and thinking about it, but then finding too many easy reasons to not just-try. And then when I get fed up with it, I err on the side of do-nothing, armed with plenty of supporting reasons. (I am not socially charismatic, no one would "want to watch" me on a screen or a stage, I don't "get people" or "get sociality" enough to be able to portray it, I have a hard enough time just relating to people in real life, I wouldn't really care to delve deeply into all kinds of emotional human gunk, all the time spent with other-people would exhaust and depress me, acting is just a popularity contest disguised as a skill, or at least it _starts_ or _does_not_start_ with what you happen to be gifted with at the start, and only then, if you're lucky to pass that initial genetic test, can you even dream about "working" at it and "becoming skilled", etc.)

Oh, I am e-quipped a-plenty.

[mkay]

I always strive for perfection in work, but not hobbies. For me, it would take the fun out of hobbies. But my INTJ husband is a perfectionist even with recreational stuff like karaoke, which makes no sense to me. The whole point of karaoke is to sound like a goof. :p

[soundchaser]

Constant thinking is definitely a problem, and can be distracting from normal, more mindlessly operated tasks, even sex sometimes!

Perfectionism, not so much, I got over that some time around college, once I was no longer the big fish in a small pond.

[MCR]

Does anyone else have the inability to enjoy anything because they are constantly thinking, ceaselessly striving and perfectionistic?

Last night I played Rock Band with some people I just met. Well, I'm pretty awesome at guitar hero (but only because I practiced and practiced and it's not even fun anymore) and they thought I'd be good on the drums. I naturally lack rythm and can't pick up a beat, and I seriously sucked ass.

I was getting so mad because I couldn't get it and it wasn't even fun because I wasn't perfect at it.

This happens with everything I do. If it doesn't come naturally to me, I make sure to get better than enyone else. It's sooooo exhausting though. I get tired of being pissed off at not being good at EVEYTHING that I eventually just quit trying ANYTHING new ....which makes me boring and makes me seem like a stick in the mud and junk....

Is anyone else this uptight that they can't seem to enjoy anything??

I chuckled at this post because...I had the same exact problem. I originally bought Guitar Hero for my son but found myself playing it much more than he did...because I absolutely needed to be great at it. I did the same with Rock Band. I'm far from great at the drums but I did practice and practice the guitar until I finished every song. :)

[azelismia]

I've often felt that I wouldn't want to bother with something unless I could be exceedingly good at it. That's why I never enjoyed sports as a kid. There was nothing unappealing about running around, but I was uncoordinated and pretty bad at most games. The only ones I liked were the ones that required only hand-eye coordination with no risk of physical injury, 'cause I was also quite the fraidy cat.

I have grown out of that feeling to an extent. I can try things and not be good at them and still enjoy them. I have to process them differently, though; I can't enjoy competition if I'm losing (or doing poorly). If I don't "compete" in my mind, I can lose and have fun. (The competitions I'm referring to can just be implied. Having to be good or the best at something is competition, even if there is no acknowledgment of a "winner".)

HOWEVER

I kick ass on drums in Rock Band. XD

I don't get rock band. I just don't get it. I don't get sims games either.

[mkay]

I find perfectionism funny in the context of stuff like Guitar Hero. Even if you're great at Guitar Hero, it's all about piddling time away. It seems illogical to spend a lot of time perfecting what's meant to be recreational.

I mean, I can understand if you're doing a sport competitively, but if you're just playing a friend or such? I enjoy winning, but I don't get bent out of shape if I don't. Even if I were the best tennis player among my group of friends, so what? (I don't play tennis; I'm just saying.) It would be inconsequential.

[Taberculosis]

Constant thinking is definitely a problem, and can be distracting from normal, more mindlessly operated tasks, even sex sometimes


Uggggh don't even get me started on sex. I usually end up counting thrusts or noticing minute details around me.

[malefide]

Is anyone else this uptight that they can't seem to enjoy anything??

Yeah, if I allow myself to be, it's pretty easy. I have this automatic internal drive to do my absolute best at whatever I start doing, so it's quite easy to get caught up in "perfecting" something that's meant to be fun (even when I started out with the intention to have fun) and start critiquing my/others' performance.

But. I have been training myself out of this habit. I'm still quite a perfectionist by nature, but I've learned to control this habit and direct it toward areas where it really pays off (school, work, etc.) and to check myself when it starts to take hold during recreational activities.

[vkut79]

But. I have been training myself out of this habit. I'm still quite a perfectionist by nature, but I've learned to control this habit and direct it toward areas where it really pays off (school, work, etc.) and to check myself when it starts to take hold during recreational activities.

Exactly, that's the best solution. I also direct all my perfectionism into productive, satisfying activities (academics) and don't invest any self-esteem in recreational activities, so they remain fun.

[Wolfgod]

I had this problem with dance class. I wanted to learn, (to impress a girl, of course) but halfway through lesson I'd be ready to quit, because I couldn't do what I'd just been shown perfectly the first time.