INTJ and EN*P

[iamnotspock]

I've read that EN*P is the best romantic match for INTJ. Does anyone have any personal experience to support or refute this theory?

[Rei]

I've read that EN*P is the best romantic match for INTJ. Does anyone have any personal experience to support or refute this theory?
My first bf... and only one so far is an ENFP. Great guy, quite an interesting conversationalist. It obviously didn't work out due to certain problems though. I don't know if there is a possibility I just wasn't as attracted as I thought I was or what; so draw your own conclusions.

[iamnotspock]

Rei,

Thanks for your response!

May I ask, were the problems related to a type clash? (like you didn't "get" each other)?

And if you met an attractive ENFP down the road, would you have any reservations?

[Jezebel]

With an ENTP for 4 years. He doesn't seem to be a strong T or P. It's been good or it wouldn't have lasted this long. Our biggest conflict by far has been the E/I differences. We're on opposite ends of the extreme. He's also a lot more playful/spontaneous than me, which is good, but sometimes we clash due to it.

[iamnotspock]

Jezebel,

This is good to hear!

I suspect that one of my good friends from high school was an ENTP and we were a good match personality-wise. It seems the playful/spontaneous ENTP gets the INTJ out of their shell...

ENTP's supposedly enjoy "one ups-manship". My friend was like that. Always trying to be a little bit better. Do you ever encounter that with your ENTP? And how do you manage the E/I differences?

[Jezebel]

There's no one ups-manship in our relationship. We're more supportive than competitive. This probably doesn't sound like a typical relationship between two NTs, but we don't debate with each other either. It's a different case between him and his friends.

We've had to compromise a lot with the E/I differences. He goes out most nights, I stay home most nights (he's out with friends as I type this). I always want to leave earlier when we go out together, so I've found it helps to agree upon a time to go home beforehand. Sometimes I leave early without him. Sometimes it's rough when we're at home together because he gets upset when I act like I don't want to be around him and doesn't understand why I'm distracted so easily. It's gotten better but it still happens after living together for years.

[Natrushka]

I've read that EN*P is the best romantic match for INTJ. Does anyone have any personal experience to support or refute this theory?
ENFPs drive me nuts. I know two of them and I've said before if I had to spend more than the odd hour or two with them every few months I'd need a gun and two bullets.

I read this (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) recently which explained it pretty well:

5. One-Dimensional Opposing Personality
This is a construct invented by Dr. Beebe that represents the unconscious oppositional personality that holds up a "stop sign" when you encounter something you're uncomfortable with. (Some Jungians refer to this as the "Negative Anima/Animus" archetype.) In the case of INTJ, we instinctively balk at Extraverted iNtuition when we encounter it.
This is why ENFPs and ENTPs can drive us crazy! They're always exploring never-ending possibilities in the outside world, in the "here and now", which causes us to run away screaming! Our typical reaction is: "We know what to do; we've seen the future; we've charted the course -- let's move forward and stop all this procrastinating!" It takes practice and discipline to hear them out and extract valuable data from their insights.

[iamnotspock]

Interesting. I wondered about that E/I problem. It seems like it would be a biggie. When I looked at dating profiles of ENFP's they did not seem at all to be the type that interest me.

So far, it seems that ENTP is a better match than ENFP based on these responses.