More comfortable with the opposite sex?

[TheEnlightenedOne]

I've come to realize that, though I'm a straight male, I've always been more comfortable and actually enjoyed spending time more with females than males. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but I have a much harder time bonding with males and finding common interests/activities to share with them. I also tend to prefer the usual demeanor of females more than that of males (based on my experiences interacting with both).

Does anyone else share this experience?

[Dover]

I am a straight female and am more comfortable with the opposite sex as well. I don't really enjoy the company of women. I mean, I have close female friends, but I prefer being around men.

A lot of the times when I'm around women, all they want to do it complain. I will admit I do this every so often, but not constantly like some women.

Men are just easier to be around. They are sensible and less emotional.

[True Rune]

Same here. I've often been relieved when meeting someone for something (like looking at schools) that I met with a woman and not a man. Weird.

[GouldFan]

I concur. I usually end up getting along better with male friends, male class mates, etc.

[dontmesswithme]

In real life (online is a different ball game) I've always got along better with men. My best friend when I was little was a boy. I was a tomboy, and still am to some extent, so that may have something to do with it. Other females usually don't want much to do with me. They're content to chat with me sometimes, but they don't want to get close to me. I can totally feel the "I'm gonna keep her at arm's length" vibes from them. I feel like I'm not invited to That Particular Party. Men like me more, so I respond to that and it's just easier to converse with them. I don't come across as being "normal", and I think men appreciate that about me more than women do. I just don't want them to hit on me in the middle of a perfectly pleasant conversation! Lol

[8iii8]

Funny, I am in the same situation and prefer the company of other females. I especially like making/hearing them laugh. But then again, I am a straight man. I get closer with NT females though specifically, with any type of discussion. I just don't have the interest to have the same discussion with a male than with a female.

[Danisty]

Yup, I've always gotten along better with males. I can relate to them more and have more common interests with them. Plus women tend to completely forget they are individuals once they have children. For some reason, mothers have an ability to relate any conversation back to a story about their kids. Fathers seem to be able to hold a conversation without changing the subject to their kids every 10 minutes. I get that if you have kids, that's part of your life, but at least have something else in your life that you can also talk about.

[Anima Mundi]

Yes. I have far more male friends and acquaintances (I would say the ratio is 90/10!) I guess it's because of certain interests of mine like video games and YGO. It's quite ironic since I'm not a tomboy in the least. And like others have said, I find that I get along better with males.

It would be nice to have a few more female friends, however.

[seeyouatx]

I'm the same way, in general. I'm a heterosexual female, but I can't handle being surrounded by women all the time. Far too much estrogen. But then again, whenever I take that personality DNA test, I always come out with high levels of masculinity. Maybe that's because I don't like fashion and make-up....

[swanhonk]

Yes. I like talking about ideas and am bored by typical female conversation topics. My best friends have always been geeky males, whom I can talk to about stuff like electromagnetism, Tesla coils, RC cars/copters/planes, robotics, cognitive science. I haven't met many females who enjoy talking about stuff like that, unfortunately.

[jmizell]

I like being around women quite a bit as well. But when it's time to go out and have a good time, 'round up the good 'ole boys, hook up to the boat, and get plenty of beer!!

[Stealthjelly]

Haha, guess I'm in the minority here, I'm a straight guy who prefers spending time with other guys. Just feel more comfortable and have more in common to talk about really, though I can talk with girls who share similar interests, I can't hold a conversation about typical girly things like make up and fashion, hahaha :P

[Napoleptic]

I'm a straight female and I've always gotten along better with guys - they make so much more sense! Women are usually so...emotional. Ew. I just relate to men far better since they seem to be more rational as compared to women, and usually when I'm friends with a couple, I feel much more in tune with the man than the woman. Most of my friends are married, however, so I probably have about equal numbers of friends of both sexes.

[8iii8]

I'm a heterosexual female, but I can't handle being surrounded by women all the time. Far too much estrogen.

Lol! I can handle hanging out with and having discussions with 2 other females at a time max. Even at this ratio there is more estrogen than I'm comfortable with, any more, and I'm sprinting as far away as I can. The topics of discussion just seems to get too girly, emotional, relational, more F and less T. Even though I prefer the company of women, I still am very selective as to the type of women I am willing to graduate from an acquaintance to a friend.

[Minerva]

Yes. I am a female and I am more comfortable being friends with men. My male friends far outnumber my female friends. I went to school for 14 years to all girl schools and that really turned me off from having female friends. I can't stand the drama, the talk about fashion, nails, men and his penis size, soap opera recap, Cosmopolitan magazine and the all time favourite gossip. It all makes me want to vomit :yuck:

On the other hand, I find females who are focused, decisive and not wrapped up in the world's latest trends but rather into reading, studying, deep conversations and nature etc great companions. They seem to be few though.

[Tangent]

Yes. I'm female, straight, and get along with the opposite sex a lot better.

Also, some of my closest connections are with men(Someday, I hope my "maid of honor" is my best male friend I've had since I was 13. He's like the older twin I never had.) While I do have female friends, I feel like I just can't get that same feeling of "connection." I feel with my male friends there is a simple sense of loyalty and comradery. Its about just /being/ there, chilling, hanging out, and participating in similar interests. If you have problems, you can talk about it with each other seriously and sincerely, and it doesn't become a giant pity/cry-fest. In general I've found most women to be more judgmental, high-strung, and just draining to deal with. Like its a giant competition in *everything*, not just "getting" men.

Also I tend to think more logically and have the same interests as most men, or in my case, geeky men. Its really hard to find women that genuinely *like* action movies, anime, science fiction, comic book characters, video games, etc. AND are down to earth.

So yeah, in general I just feel much more relaxed when standing in a group of mostly men/male friends shooting the breeze vs. being "stuck" in the womens circle talking about what I find to be the most boring and inane things.

I don't dislike women...Just don't prefer their company, save for a very, very, very, very small few.

[JulietCapulet]

I am a female who likes men for romance and relationships. But when it comes to friendship I tend to feel more at ease with other girls...I think I feel less threatened and nervous. Men make me nervous because I get attracted to them! I am a very girly girl. I don't know how to be just friends with a guy.

[Antares]

I'm a straight female. At school, it seems, all of my friends are girls, but I usually don't enjoy being around them immensely aside from a selected few. During the summer, however, it'd be a complete reversal. As I am with boys at school, I'm cordial with most girls during the summer, but all of my friends are guys. I just enjoy being around guys so much more. My humor usually gets into shape when I'm with guys; I'm just naturally biting and sarcastic, and my male friends love me to bits because of it.

[shytiger]

I am a female who likes men for romance and relationships. But when it comes to friendship I tend to feel more at ease with other girls...I think I feel less threatened and nervous. Men make me nervous because I get attracted to them! I am a very girly girl. I don't know how to be just friends with a guy.

I'm this way too. I like talking to women and have attempted friendships, but I just don't know how to be friends with them. It's too easy to become attracted to them, and I often have trouble separating friendly feelings from attraction. This is especially dangerous when one is married. I'm not a strong silent type of man though, more boyish.

[sunlover]

Same here. All my closest friends(3) are currently female. Sometimes I wish it weren't the case however. Miss the male bonding of earlier years.

[Zabrina]

The stereotypical female drives me crazy. >.< If you want me to take you seriously, don't giggle about fashion and makeup constantly.

Luckily, I have two female best friends (INTJ and ENFJ) with whom I can discuss trivial matters sometimes and more important things sometimes, without feeling like my brain cells are dying off one at a time.

I also tend to get along better with guys for that same reason, but again, by sheer chance I've found girls who share my opinion of the typical female.

[MadCatter]

Definitely tend to relate better to males than females. My two closest friends however are female, and both are INFJ and ISTJ.

[Booko]

I've come to realize that, though I'm a straight male, I've always been more comfortable and actually enjoyed spending time more with females than males. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but I have a much harder time bonding with males and finding common interests/activities to share with them. I also tend to prefer the usual demeanor of females more than that of males (based on my experiences interacting with both).

My best friend's husband is this way. He would rather hang out with a bunch of women -- he says we are far more interesting.

As for me, up until I was about 30 I much preferred the company of men. A lot of this was due to the fact that things I enjoyed doing/talking about were not commonly found among women. I love motorcycles, hunting, fishing, and wargames. And chick flicks? Uh...I would rather be set on fire.

I still find men more low-maintenance generally, which is something I appreciate. I like people to be around but they don't have to be in my face either. I require a lot of quiet time.

[LifesEcstasy]

I prefer males for friendship and I am female. I find they put far fewer expectations on the friendship than females. Females want you to call them at certain times, give them sympathy even their own stupidity is at fault. They don't like it when you give it to them straight and take that personally.

Like has been said they lose their identity when they have kids or become married and talk constantly about their relationship,partner & kids as if they themselves no longer exist. As a single female with no kids nor aspirations for them this gets extremely tedious. I'm also entrepreneurial and find few females really interested in that but plenty of males like to talk about their little sideline businesses and aspirations in that direction. It's fun to share ideas.

But curiously I prefer F males to T males, depending upon how strong they are in either direction. I like a male who is closer to balanced than on the extreme.

[HAL 9000]

On balance, I'd say I have more female friends (hard call to make). Part of it is, I suppose, my extroversion. Women tend to talk more with each other (and with men if they happen to have willing recipients), so they give more for my little brain to play with.

I also like the company of men because every move they make isn't a Rubik's cube. Then again, part of the reason I enjoy spending time with women is precisely because I find them in some ways puzzling.

In the end my general rule is "play it by ear."

[Booko]

Like has been said they lose their identity when they have kids or become married and talk constantly about their relationship,partner & kids as if they themselves no longer exist. As a single female with no kids nor aspirations for them this gets extremely tedious.

I wonder if INTJ moms are outside the norm here? I always found talking constantly about my kids to be rather tedious, but when you're in the company of other moms they expect you to play along.

Except I would rather talk about something "adult" like maybe a book I'd read or some ideas I'd been tossing around. If you do that though, the other moms look at you like you're something live in the salad.

Thank God my kids are adults now. If I talk about them at least it's about what I've learned from them, be it physics or stagecraft. I'm well beyond the diapering discussion stage (and there was much rejoicing).

[Distance]

Straight female who sees people as people, whether male, female or LGBT. There are many people I wouldn't befriend but of the proportion I do, their genders or sexual leanings don't matter. The most important components are, can they think rationally, do they have curious minds, are they decent people and do they understand what friendship means.

[Zsych]

I'm a straight guy, and get along much more easily with guys than women. I get along better with NT or ST women than other types of women.

[spcmnky13]

I've come to realize that, though I'm a straight male, I've always been more comfortable and actually enjoyed spending time more with females than males. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but I have a much harder time bonding with males and finding common interests/activities to share with them. I also tend to prefer the usual demeanor of females more than that of males (based on my experiences interacting with both).

Does anyone else share this experience?

Absolutely. You are not alone. I too find it easier to associate with women than with men; I assume due to the formers' prominence in my childhood as my father was absent, comparative figures were transitory at best, and certainly more interested in my mother then myself.
Not until I was a grown man did I actually have the opportunity to learn how to interact with other men. The prospect of it used to intimidate me as I suppose I had learned to see men as potential threats to my personal security either physically or emotionally.
My initiation into the social intricacies of male relations has been both enlightening and rewarding as I am much more comfortable in that realm now, even preferring the company of men by times to that of women (depending on the situation of course).
I feel it probable that any man's preference for the company of women to that of men is tied to the formers' general lack of interest in overt dominance displays or competitive rituals which intimidate insecure males. Fortunately I have found that as with many other areas of uncertainty, familiarization with the unknown quantity eases insecurity surrounding it.

[Causa Mortis]

I've come to realize that, though I'm a straight male, I've always been more comfortable and actually enjoyed spending time more with females than males. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but I have a much harder time bonding with males and finding common interests/activities to share with them. I also tend to prefer the usual demeanor of females more than that of males (based on my experiences interacting with both).

Does anyone else share this experience?

I'm just the opposite: I have an instant rapport with and degree of admiration for most men, and find about 70% of women impossibly shallow and loathsome.

Of what's left, I mostly find them pitiful and/or annoying. Some I admire in one way or another - there are several on these forums who are decent, intelligent individuals - but on a generalized level I think very, very lowly of the opposite sex.

I think this is more unique to you than it is to INTJs generally. I plainly wish I found my gender sexually appealing so that I only had to deal with women in shallow economic interactions.

[Thinktress]

I get along better with guys. I'm blunt and direct and I don't do well with the whole silent treatment, or expecting me to figure out what's wrong via ESP, things of that nature that women do. Granted, INTJ women are prob less likely to do that, but I just haven't come across many INTJ's (male or female) in the wild.

My first college roommates were women (sorority girls at that) and after I would find a series of notes anytime they were pissed about whatever, I finally just started rooming with guy friends. It's not that I think many women do things incorrectly (and certainly not that I view women in a substandard fashion - I think women are extremely smart and capable), I just think there is a difference in the way I operate in some ways. Therefore I'm more comfortable around guys. I can talk about wacky shit, they don't get offended as easily, things are less formal.

Really though, I wish I was more like most women. I think most guys (Causa notwithstanding) like for women to be different from them. It's more mysterious and they have to work harder to figure it out and gain approval. I'm kind of more like one of the guys. And except for really loving lingerie and jewelry, I'm totally into traditionally guy things. Not much mystery there.

[TheEnlightenedOne]

Straight female who sees people as people, whether male, female or LGBT. There are many people I wouldn't befriend but of the proportion I do, their genders or sexual leanings don't matter. The most important components are, can they think rationally, do they have curious minds, are they decent people and do they understand what friendship means.

I certainly didn't mean to imply that being a certain sex or of a certain sexual orientation dictates behavior (and I hope you didn't take it that way). Obviously culture and socialization (both of which involve - to some extent - sex and sexual orientation) plays into how we then interact and socialize with others, so it's definitely a factor in this, but certainly not a straight cause-and-effect phenomenon. I just framed myself as a straight male to RULE OUT any sex/sexual orientation-based generalizations.

[elfbrick]

I definitely get along better with men. I find that many women tax my powers of empathy and my limited social skills to the max. I always seem to say the wrong thing, or give the wrong response, or fail to pick up on some emotional cue...I also don't seem to care as much about things many women seem interested in, like babies and weddings and gossip. I've managed to come up with a few stock replies to certain remarks, just so I'm not sitting there completely zoning out and offending people, but it's pretty uncomfortable.

[bekkilyn]

I "get along" with just about anyone, and while I initially want to say I have an easier time conversing with men than women, there have been too many exceptions on both sides. I'm not really into the whole hair, fashion, girly-girl stuff, so I get clueless as to what to discuss with such personalities past the first 5 minutes or so, but there are a lot of men into sports, cars, and other "manly" stuff that I really don't care much about either, so it evens out both ways.

I do seem to have to tone my opinions down a good bit around many people or they will get offended (what is it with so many people choosing to be offended by *everything*?) and take things personally when I'm simply just attempting to have a lively, interesting discussion. I think I do tend to have more of a problem with females than men here since more men seem socialized to be more assertive and can better handle more lively discussions, but I've run into a good share of men who can't handle them either so I typically prefer to look at each person individually and ignore gender entirely.

[Muse]

straight male, usually prefer male friends.

[Napoleptic]

According to the chart here:
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only about one in four women are Ns, and half of women are SJs, which is the opposite temperament to NTs. Individuals always trump temperament/type, but it is interesting to muse over.