ENTJs and INTJs.... thoughts?

[Santana28]

By far, the most interesting person i have ever known...someone who has inspired me and encouraged me more (in constructive AND destrictive ways), is an ENTJ.

Anyone have any experiences to share?

[Solaris]

As I was just posting in another thread. I have had many close INTJ friends. I find that INTJs often provide the same things you say. I love that I can be my normal, direct self and not have people afraid. I love that this type of person challenges me and pushes me, and expects the same from me. Plus, INTJs are at least as independent as I am.

[Santana28]

Very true. The difference with an ENTJ that i've found is that they will push you to become more "socialized" and challenge you to interact with people in uncomfortable situations... but at the same time completely understand the thought processes inside of your head and why it is difficult for you to do so. I have learned ALOT from my ENTJ friend... he's changed my life. The difference between he and i though is that he only talks in public, groups of people, or when he's drunk... * *i prefer to talk about things alone one on one... * or drunk ;) * So while our conversations have not been the most fulfilling ones i've ever had, we communicate by our actions...

Its been interesting, to say the least. I especially appreciate his willingness to come out and tell me bluntly about things he thinks i need to work on.

[MichaelH]

My boss is an ENTJ, and he is hands-down the best boss I've ever had. He sets up clear goals then gives me near-complete independence to do things as I see fit. We communicate well and directly.

I've screwed up on occasion, and he is completely focused on how to fix it. "Blame" and "guilt" aren't necessary to make things work with him. I know anything I do for the benefit of the students is supported. If it turns out to be wrong, we just fix it and move on.

I second Santana in that the ENTJ communicates as much by actions as words. When your boss comes to work after a botched vasectomy because he knows he's needed, who dares call in sick?

[Solaris]

I try not to oversocialize my INTJ friends. I make them be in the company of others when I know they need it (like when they are depressed, and would normally want to go do things, they just need somebody to decide what that action will be). I'm so darn blunt that I will just take over, tell them, and carry out the plan. Somehow, my bluntness amuses a particular INTJ friend.

He was saying how it's amusing to watch me teach because I'm so blunt. I was just sitting here thinking about that. (I'll just look at the person, see they are doing something wrong and say "ok, no, that's wrong" and then suggest a correction) When I am that way, I see it more as a correction of myself, because I think that the way I explained how to perform and action must not have been clear, so I tweak it. [edit: one thing I've noticed, and love, about INTJ's is that they are generally very able to clearly explain ideas -- when they want to -- and they'll simply tell you when they don't know]

I know that I push him to be more social and open. I have this effect on people. People laugh a lot around me (I'm apparently quite funny) and they feel comfortable being their true selves (and so open up) around me. He, in turn, pushes me *to grow certain aspects of who I am into something bigger (as an ENTJ, I love this).

The best part is that we can just say what we mean and nobody gets all emotional and crap. As a woman, it's very hard to find anyone who can just understand that this doesn't mean I am bitchy or domineering (I don't actually want to dominate people, just reach their potential), just honest and direct.

[Santana28]

exactly.... you guys both hit the nail on the head.

one problem though i have noticed - we both encourage each other endlessly. So much so that we take the devil's advocate act too far and spur each other into situations we probably shouldn't enter into simply because we find it entertaining :) But even then, there is no blame or guilt - it's just "Lets see what we can move onto next."

Its really an awesome combination... too bad there aren't many people like that out there... i'm thankful for everyone i happen to meet though!

[The Many]

My best friend as a child was an ENTJ, we got along very well.

[mind_wander]

Too me, talking with an ENTJ; depending. Most of the time, its not too hard to talk with each other. The positive side, too me its like taking a history course with alot of philosophy concepts; which makes me want to engage more than on average courses I've been. I learn much more and excel, nothing is really boring, which is the good part. Humor is always in and out, but ENTJ's explains how things should be done and when to implement it.

[Solaris]

Too me, talking with an ENTJ; depending. Most of the time, its not too hard to talk with each other. The positive side, too me its like taking a history course with alot of philosophy concepts; which makes me want to engage more than on average courses I've been. I learn much more and excel, nothing is really boring, which is the good part. Humor is always in and out, but ENTJ's explains how things should be done and when to implement it.


That's an interesting way to put it, but true.

I find, in general, that I highly respect most INTJs I come across because they can think quickly and carefully at the same time (function of intuition I guess). They seem to understand my thought process, so we can keep a train of thought going as far as it needs to, then get on with whatever it is we need to do. Although, I notice that INTJs tend to have less patience than I do....but that's probably more situational than I think it is right now.

[mind_wander]

Solaris,

This is how I see it, in terms of concepts and logics, most people agree on at least this part. INTJ = Intelligence. How about this: INTJ = Intelligence, as ENTJ = Enlightenment, put these 2 together: INTJ + ENTJ= Undefined knowledge and power :)

[deicruxified]

i got two closebuds (for most, bestfriends) who are entj's. one i had been with for 11 years (girl), the other for 7 years (guy). i got a new team mate who seems to be entj. our personalities "clicked" on our very first meeting and we were inseperable until 2am of the trip. the reason why we stopped talking is because we're drunk, tired and sleepy. here's what i love about entj's based on my personal experience:

1. when you've got a problem, they will scout for the culprit and kick their asses even though you tell them not to, they will "clean" your enemies without you knowing it. they are pretty over-protective and will support you until you flash a smile on your face. on the other hand, even though you don't open up your stuff, they'll try to divert your attention to other activities or their sick sense of physical humor (nerdy-dance, mtv-jack-ass stunts... etc)

2. they won't bug you to change unless you badly need it. entj's will accept you for who you are and wouldn't mind at all. however, if you need some bad spanking, he or she will give it to you.

3. childlike in a sense that after a big fight with them, they're gonna ask you to watch a movie or eat ice cream after 30 minutes as if nothing happened. the word "sorry" is a telepathic thing for me and my entj buds. when we talk about past quarrels, we do it as if cracking a joke on each other and the rest is all diaphramic-suffocating laughter.

4. on humor: they are outrageous and crazy!! my entj closebud got me choking to death with laughter... they'll do whatever means to make you happy even at the expense of their own dignities i.e. smashing themselves to the wall ... etc.

5. they are absolutely LOYAL and is always proud of their friends wherever they went and would brag about them (downside: they'll say stuff about you including your negative side). my entj guy friend dragged me to join him in a date with some random woman who "he claims" has a big crush on him. upon meeting the woman, my bud said, "this is my bestfriend, if you don't like her, i won't date you anymore."

6. although they're e people, they don't seek that much attention. you got all the freedom in the world when you're friends with an entj. when you tell them, "it's my alone time" they won't bug you anymore until you send them a message even if it takes a year for you to buzz them (this happened to us... actually a year and 2 months). in spite of it, you're still part of their inner circle.

7. they are honest. they will tell the truth and they don't care if you're hurt or not.

8. spontaneous when it comes to ideas and would easily jive with you when your mind wanders off (downside: you're going to have a heart attack when they got a random idea)

9. they got you all covered in your evil plans and spank you afterwards if you miss some things be it running over a neighbor's dog or just putting gum on the teacher's chair...

10. intelligent, smart, witty, wise... you name it... no stupid moments with entj's

[Charlie Mc.]

This thread just made me realize that my best friend is probably an ENTJ. From the first day we met we clicked. We both have a really twisted sense of humor and can play off of each other without trying. This leads to lots of fun because we can flawlessly execute pranks without prior planning. I think INTJ/ENTJ is a great pairing.

[Henry]

Don't care for a lot of ENTJs. Click very well with a few, but for the most part I find them too domineering. I'm not interested in being told what my goals are, how I should go about achieving them, or how I should order my day.

[Charlie Mc.]

my best friend used to try to push me to go do social things. One day he kept bugging me about it when I said I didn't want to so I punched him. After that he respected it when I said I didn't feel like going.

[Henry]

my best friend used to try to push me to go do social things. One day he kept bugging me about it when I said I didn't want to so I punched him. After that he respected it when I said I didn't feel like going.

I'll make sure I punch out my dad when he bosses everyone around at thanksgiving dinner then, that will solve the problem. ;)

A good point though, the ENTJ does tend to respect those who don't just cave to their whims.

[Solaris]

i got two closebuds (for most, bestfriends) who are entj's. one i had been with for 11 years (girl), the other for 7 years (guy). i got a new team mate who seems to be entj. our personalities "clicked" on our very first meeting and we were inseperable until 2am of the trip. the reason why we stopped talking is because we're drunk, tired and sleepy. here's what i love about entj's based on my personal experience:

1. when you've got a problem, they will scout for the culprit and kick their asses even though you tell them not to, they will "clean" your enemies without you knowing it. they are pretty over-protective and will support you until you flash a smile on your face. on the other hand, even though you don't open up your stuff, they'll try to divert your attention to other activities or their sick sense of physical humor (nerdy-dance, mtv-jack-ass stunts... etc)

2. they won't bug you to change unless you badly need it. entj's will accept you for who you are and wouldn't mind at all. however, if you need some bad spanking, he or she will give it to you.

3. childlike in a sense that after a big fight with them, they're gonna ask you to watch a movie or eat ice cream after 30 minutes as if nothing happened. the word "sorry" is a telepathic thing for me and my entj buds. when we talk about past quarrels, we do it as if cracking a joke on each other and the rest is all diaphramic-suffocating laughter.

4. on humor: they are outrageous and crazy!! my entj closebud got me choking to death with laughter... they'll do whatever means to make you happy even at the expense of their own dignities i.e. smashing themselves to the wall ... etc.

5. they are absolutely LOYAL and is always proud of their friends wherever they went and would brag about them (downside: they'll say stuff about you including your negative side). my entj guy friend dragged me to join him in a date with some random woman who "he claims" has a big crush on him. upon meeting the woman, my bud said, "this is my bestfriend, if you don't like her, i won't date you anymore."

6. although they're e people, they don't seek that much attention. you got all the freedom in the world when you're friends with an entj. when you tell them, "it's my alone time" they won't bug you anymore until you send them a message even if it takes a year for you to buzz them (this happened to us... actually a year and 2 months). in spite of it, you're still part of their inner circle.

7. they are honest. they will tell the truth and they don't care if you're hurt or not.

8. spontaneous when it comes to ideas and would easily jive with you when your mind wanders off (downside: you're going to have a heart attack when they got a random idea)

9. they got you all covered in your evil plans and spank you afterwards if you miss some things be it running over a neighbor's dog or just putting gum on the teacher's chair...

10. intelligent, smart, witty, wise... you name it... no stupid moments with entj's

I'm seriously not trying to get on some ego trip, but you just described almost exactly how my friendships are. It makes me want to refer people to it who are just meeting me or something, hahaha. The only thing missing is that I will get in friends' faces when they need it (even "I" friends), but are trying to shut out the world in an unhealthy way. That's actually the loyalty part playing in, because I want to help them and know that I's (and INTJs especially it seems) can get sucked deeply into isolation mode when they can't figure out the solution to a problem. I won't let them just curl up and let the world run them over with a steamroller.

And I have actually run into walls for humor.... We were joking about that Simpsons game commercial where Homer walks into the wall, his feet keep walking, but he's stuck there.

[mind_wander]

About the simpsons videogame commercial, where Homer run into the wall. That was funny, I wasn't even thinking ENTJ, associated with that during that time. Just for some senseless humor. I thought, he will just go through the wall or something, like any videogame with glitches.

[Paul V]

i got two closebuds (for most, bestfriends) who are entj's. one i had been with for 11 years (girl), the other for 7 years (guy). i got a new team mate who seems to be entj. our personalities "clicked" on our very first meeting and we were inseperable until 2am of the trip. the reason why we stopped talking is because we're drunk, tired and sleepy. here's what i love about entj's based on my personal experience:

1. when you've got a problem, they will scout for the culprit and kick their asses even though you tell them not to, they will "clean" your enemies without you knowing it. they are pretty over-protective and will support you until you flash a smile on your face. on the other hand, even though you don't open up your stuff, they'll try to divert your attention to other activities or their sick sense of physical humor (nerdy-dance, mtv-jack-ass stunts... etc)

2. they won't bug you to change unless you badly need it. entj's will accept you for who you are and wouldn't mind at all. however, if you need some bad spanking, he or she will give it to you.

3. childlike in a sense that after a big fight with them, they're gonna ask you to watch a movie or eat ice cream after 30 minutes as if nothing happened. the word "sorry" is a telepathic thing for me and my entj buds. when we talk about past quarrels, we do it as if cracking a joke on each other and the rest is all diaphramic-suffocating laughter.

4. on humor: they are outrageous and crazy!! my entj closebud got me choking to death with laughter... they'll do whatever means to make you happy even at the expense of their own dignities i.e. smashing themselves to the wall ... etc.

5. they are absolutely LOYAL and is always proud of their friends wherever they went and would brag about them (downside: they'll say stuff about you including your negative side). my entj guy friend dragged me to join him in a date with some random woman who "he claims" has a big crush on him. upon meeting the woman, my bud said, "this is my bestfriend, if you don't like her, i won't date you anymore."

6. although they're e people, they don't seek that much attention. you got all the freedom in the world when you're friends with an entj. when you tell them, "it's my alone time" they won't bug you anymore until you send them a message even if it takes a year for you to buzz them (this happened to us... actually a year and 2 months). in spite of it, you're still part of their inner circle.

7. they are honest. they will tell the truth and they don't care if you're hurt or not.

8. spontaneous when it comes to ideas and would easily jive with you when your mind wanders off (downside: you're going to have a heart attack when they got a random idea)

9. they got you all covered in your evil plans and spank you afterwards if you miss some things be it running over a neighbor's dog or just putting gum on the teacher's chair...

10. intelligent, smart, witty, wise... you name it... no stupid moments with entj's

Hm. I don't know any ENTJs (at least, I think I don't), so I'll try to imagine them as my friends, based on your list:

1) I'd hate them if they did so.

2) I highly doubt that. Haven't met a single person who didn't try to change me.

3) Excellent. I hate apologising.

4) They'd quickly lose my respect.

5) I'd be indifferent to this.

6) Hm. That's good.

7) Thank god.

8) I don't like this, but I'm used to it.

9) I will absolutely hate that.

10) Hm. That's very, very good.

So, let's make a recount: 4 cons. 4 pros. 2 abstained. There's a tie. I suppose I've got to meet one in person, then.

[Santana28]

here's what i love about entj's based on my personal experience:

Yup, thats my friend in a nutshell. I have never had so much sponatneous fun in my life until i met him.... but at the same time we are both constantly coming up with new schemes and plots ;) Its so nice having someone that understands the way you think... thats even more important than understanding WHAT you are thinking....

[Headstrong]

My best guy friend is an ENTJ. We hit it off immediately, tried the dating thing...but then went after my best girl friend who is an ENFJ. Three years later we are great buddies, though. He keeps me in check with reality and takes my issues seriously. We laugh all the time, especially since we are both sadistic and crude in our humor. He'll call me at 10pm and we'll go on a Wendy's run to go get frostys. I've always trusted him to tell me straight up if he's pissed off at me or if something needs to be done. If I had the chance, I'd date him again in a heartbeat. Our religious beliefs kinda get in the way.

[deicruxified]

that's just my observation for over a decade with entj's. i don't know about my new team mate but things have gone pretty well with us. he's always joining in whatever escapades i can think of in spite i don't join him in most of his activities and he understands the reason why.

overall, they are the best people i've met. next are infj's

[Paul V]

Hm, that's odd. INFJs are supposed to be the ones closer to our way of thinking.

[Solaris]

Hm, that's odd. INFJs are supposed to be the ones closer to our way of thinking.

So wouldn't that get boring for you? I like the INTJ/ENTJ thing because it's the same functions, but with different perspectives when using them.

I, of course, find INFJs too timid for long-term anything other than friends. Again, I don't want a man who is more outwardly emotional than I am.

[Paul V]

So wouldn't that get boring for you? I like the INTJ/ENTJ thing because it's the same functions, but with different perspectives when using them.

I, of course, find INFJs too timid for long-term anything other than friends. Again, I don't want a man who is more outwardly emotional than I am.

Actually, I've never found anyone who even remotely thinks like me. So that would be not only a refreshing change, but sheer gold.

And you're right, Female ENTJ and Male INFJ would not get along. The closest type to the ENTJ is the ESTJ, but I suppose you'd get bored of their lack of imagination pretty quickly. Well, who knows? I'm not expert in attraction.

[deicruxified]

Hm, that's odd. INFJs are supposed to be the ones closer to our way of thinking.
i don't find this odd at all. my prof is an infj and so does a colleague of mine here. when we talk about stuff, our approach is logical but with different conclusions which to some extent i do bear in mind in my reflections. the infj's i'm with have almost the same caliber of ibm (internal bullshit meter) as i am and we agree in almost all things. what i only don't like about them is their emo side.

[Solaris]

Actually, I've never found anyone who even remotely thinks like me. So that would be not only a refreshing change, but sheer gold.

And you're right, Female ENTJ and Male INFJ would not get along. The closest type to the ENTJ is the ESTJ, but I suppose you'd get bored of their lack of imagination pretty quickly. Well, who knows? I'm not expert in attraction.

I think a male ESTJ would drive me bonkers. The immediacy of that type would drive me nuts.

[deicruxified]

8) I don't like this, but I'm used to it.

one time my guy entj bud had his eureka moment when i was catching a thought. i was shocked and punched him in the eye (i'm quite boyish which they say is quite typical with intj females). he had a black eye lol... and he was bawlering, "what the fuck!!" and we were kicking each other's asses for an hour and i also got myself bruises. the next day, he invited me out for a lunch-movie-arcade trip and we happen to pass by one of his elementary students. he said, "hi! meet my... wife?". we were laughing really hard at it when the gossip about him and "his wife" was beating each other up spread like wild fire in their school campus. he was event called for counseling lol

he's kewl... but now that he has a girlfriend, we try to make a distance between us since her girlfriend is possessive. but we still talk on the phone and eat pizza sometimes.

[Paul V]

one time my guy entj bud had his eureka moment when i was catching a thought. i was shocked and punched him in the eye (i'm quite boyish which they say is quite typical with intj females). he had a black eye lol... and he was bawlering, "what the fuck!!" and we were kicking each other's asses for an hour and i also got myself bruises. the next day, he invited me out for a lunch-movie-arcade trip and we happen to pass by one of his elementary students. he said, "hi! meet my... wife?". we were laughing really hard at it when the gossip about him and "his wife" was beating each other up spread like wild fire in their school campus. he was event called for counseling lol

he's kewl... but now that he has a girlfriend, we try to make a distance between us since her girlfriend is possessive. but we still talk on the phone and eat pizza sometimes.

Hahahahah! I have no idea how I'd react to a girl punching me in the eye (I have glasses). I suppose I'd pretend it was nothing and secretly plot vengeance for later. :O

[deicruxified]

Hahahahah! I have no idea how I'd react to a girl punching me in the eye (I have glasses). I suppose I'd pretend it was nothing and secretly plot vengeance for later. :O
we're constantly plotting vengeance at each other but we laugh at ourselves afterwards... that's what we call fun times with my entj guy bud.. it's a different story with my entj girl bud as she's more into academics and ... gays... she's a man-hater-gay-lover and would tag me in her gay stalking escapades. she's really funny amidst the geekiness.

[Santana28]

thats really funny... my entj friend and i have always wrestled around alot too. I dont know why, but its like we are just naturally comfortable around each other and able to let loose in ways we dont do with other people.

[Solaris]

thats really funny... my entj friend and i have always wrestled around alot too. I dont know why, but its like we are just naturally comfortable around each other and able to let loose in ways we dont do with other people.

Ditto with my INTJ friends. It's fun isn't it?

[ScottH]

My girlfriend is an ENTJ. We're very different; I tend to be more intellectual and thoughtful, she tends to be a little more impulsive and casual.

Nonetheless, our "world views" seem to coincide almost perfectly and we're very at east with each other.

But, FWIW, there's a whole lot more to comfort and understanding than MBTI. Although, finding someone with similar thinking patterns sure helps!

[Santana28]

ARGH.... I am SO sick of mixed messages from my ENTJ friend. I saw him tonight and he spent the whole time avoiding me, until i was with a group of other friends and then he came right up to us and talked to all of them. He looked at me but didnt say anything, and then he just walked away. Later on, i happen to run into him on the way to the bathroom and he touches my arm in a very affectionate way... i really dont know how to respond so i keep walking. Then later on we happen to be around each other and he is as cold as ice towards me. Keep in mind, in none of these instances have either one of us made eye contact...

When we were leaving he actually hugged me, but it wasn't a real hug or even a fake hug - it was a "there are people around and i'm supposed to do this" hug. Pissed me off. He said "thanks for coming" and i said "really?" and he gave me a very awkward "yeah."

Keep in mind - we have a strong history, and had a bad falling apart and this is pretty much the 2nd time i've seen him in 2 years (at his indirect invitation, despite telling me that he never wanted to see me again).

I am so freaking confused right now. I kind of get the feeling he is too, though. I just don't know how to break the stalemate and it sucks.

[Paul V]

ARGH.... I am SO sick of mixed messages from my ENTJ friend. I saw him tonight and he spent the whole time avoiding me, until i was with a group of other friends and then he came right up to us and talked to all of them. He looked at me but didnt say anything, and then he just walked away. Later on, i happen to run into him on the way to the bathroom and he touches my arm in a very affectionate way... i really dont know how to respond so i keep walking. Then later on we happen to be around each other and he is as cold as ice towards me. Keep in mind, in none of these instances have either one of us made eye contact...

When we were leaving he actually hugged me, but it wasn't a real hug or even a fake hug - it was a "there are people around and i'm supposed to do this" hug. Pissed me off. He said "thanks for coming" and i said "really?" and he gave me a very awkward "yeah."

Keep in mind - we have a strong history, and had a bad falling apart and this is pretty much the 2nd time i've seen him in 2 years (at his indirect invitation, despite telling me that he never wanted to see me again).

I am so freaking confused right now. I kind of get the feeling he is too, though. I just don't know how to break the stalemate and it sucks.

Be cold towards him. Extra cold. Pissed off, even. Anything it takes for him to explain what's going on. If he values your friendship, he'll try to make things right. If he doesn't... well... you'll be better off alone.

[BlackHawk]

I know 6 ENTJs and don't like any of them. They were all tested, but might have skewed the test results. They just don't act like people that have strong, guiding Intuitions . . .

[PortInStorm]

A lot of these characteristics Dei et al. mentioned seem to be ENTP, what with the sponteneity and all... don't you think?

[Danisty]

That's an interesting way to put it, but true.

I find, in general, that I highly respect most INTJs I come across because they can think quickly and carefully at the same time (function of intuition I guess). They seem to understand my thought process, so we can keep a train of thought going as far as it needs to, then get on with whatever it is we need to do. Although, I notice that INTJs tend to have less patience than I do....but that's probably more situational than I think it is right now.My husband is an ENTJ and I have far less patience than he does. I don't have patience for anything really. If I'm acting patient, it really is just an act.

My father is an ENTJ, but I think he's definitely borderline on some things. Until I grew up and moved out, we damn near hated each other. Our problem is that we were both so stubborn about things, yet we had opposite views on almost everything.

My hubby and I get along great. He's definitely the best man I've ever met. He keeps up with me creatively, but forces me to deal with the real world and even makes the real world make sense sometimes too.

[Allie]

Aww. I have always thought that I would be most compatible with an ENTJ, someone like me, but more outgoing; however, I seem to be drawn to the strong, silent type.

[luther]

The extended descriptions of ENTJ in this thread describe me very well. It's almost as if the people writing know me better than I know myself.

For example, I initially had my doubts about the silliness being an ENTJ characteristic until I remembered my teaching style. I ran into walls on a regular basis to make my students laugh. And when I visited the school again for Christmas, the students ran into me and knocked me over - even though they're in high school now.

I have to agree with the comment about ESTJs. I can't think of *any* S people that I have a close relationship with.

The ENTJ-INTJ pairing is very good, despite the fact that I'm supposed to be better matched with INTP. I find INTPs, INFJs, and INTJs to be very attractive, but when I look back at the relationships I've actually had, all of them were INTJs. I didn't realize this until recently.

I have a deep connection with an INTJ woman right now. Will post about it in a new thread!

[blueeyedsusan]

INTJ married to ENTJ here, only thing is after years we know each other so well it's sometimes a struggle to keep interested on ones persons part or the other. Also commenting on my husband being extroverted, I bend a little, he bends a little and as he gets older he likes to go out to parties less.

[Solaris]

INTJ married to ENTJ here, only thing is after years we know each other so well it's sometimes a struggle to keep interested on ones persons part or the other. Also commenting on my husband being extroverted, I bend a little, he bends a little and as he gets older he likes to go out to parties less.

I don't think that's related to type though. I think that's just people. Once nothing is new anymore, there's bound to be waxing and waning of interest over time. The important thing is not to lose touch completely.