Do you like children?

[Daniel]

A lot of smart friends I have (not sure that all are Intj) don't like children.I want to explore this phenomenon.

[wolf]

I would prefer not to have any of my own at this point, though I don't mind them unless they are creating a ruckus or acting in a wild manner when they shouldn't be. Being a camp/event counselor is actually quite enjoyable...

In the past, when I was younger, I would have said "no" quite readily, but in my old age I have become much more accepting of them. I could probably eventually handle one or two of my own, though that'll probably never happen.

[mind_wander]

This is weird on how INTJ dislike children, I do like children. They love to stare at me and I know they are pretending to look away, then loved to turned toward my direction[starring for like 5 long minutes] again. Hey, if that is what they want my attention, I will take it. Most times, they can be very troublesome and sometimes, they find you very mysterious, like an undefined book. Hmm, what is that! Please, no fighting. I also observed, alot of teens hate children, but when the teens stay away from, all the children asked so many questions to the mysterious INTJ. What is this?, what is that?, can I have that?, oh boy. Ok children, get in a line. If you don't get in line, then I will not help you, even if you are crying.

[Firelie]

You know, I hated kids when I was younger (I never even babysat like all the other teenagers I knew), but now that I'm getting older, somehow they've become included in my eventual plans for life. Not sure when that happened, but it has.

[mind_wander]

i guess, then I am the odd one in here; talk about being rare.

[Henry]

A lot of smart friends I have (not sure that all are Intj) don't like children.I want to explore this phenomenon.

In having children, one assumes an awesome responsibility, and while it may be very rewarding, its not one I want at this stage in my life.

I detest people who do not raise their kids right. Like the lady who took her 4 yo to see Saw 4 last weekend. He started crying and she told him to be quiet. Very trashy.

[cielo market]

I detest people who do not raise their kids right. *Like the lady who took her 4 yo to see Saw 4 last weekend. *He started crying and she told him to be quiet. *Very trashy.

yep. I tend to dislike parents more than children. but t(w)eens... that's a different story.

[Henry]

yep. I tend to dislike parents more than children. but t(w)eens... that's a different story.

Teens are clearly the most annoying group of people out there. *That said, we all were very special at that age, and the narcissism at that age is really a biopsychosocial phenomenon and has little to do with choice.

Bad parenting is, in one form or another, a choice, and bad choices in parenting can ruin a person's life and be a huge drain on society if that person becomes antisocial or has to spend the rest of their life in therapy because dad couldn't keep it in his pants or mom was a drug addict.

Talking to figment of my imagination: *If you don't want the responsibility, don't have unprotected sex. *Even if that doesn't work and you get knocked up, there is still abortion, adoption, and abandonment. *All are better options than taking your kid to see Saw when he's 4 years old.

[TruorTupnm]

I am about as much a fan of children as I am of any other human. I refuse to talk down to them. I'll ask them questions or talk at them the same way that I would with some horrifyingly old person. Most parents don't mind and just give me a weird look when I do that. Some get offended, for some reason, even if I haven't uttered anything especially evil. As with adults, most kids don't know what I'm talking about, but the cool ones do and can carry conversations. Mostly, I ignore them. In restaurants, little kids will stare or laugh, and I will glare or entertain with, "What? What you want? What? Ew! Why are you looking at me? Augh! What is behind myself?" after which, I shall grab my foot and hide behind it (flexible hips, I guess).

[bucolic_]

I generally don't like children, they're annoying, but I think I'd like to have some eventually. One kid in particular I know for some reason got very attached to me and would always hug me, talk to me, etc, and it really got on my nerves.

[Raven Queen]

I only like very young children. When they're too young to be annoying.. I want to have my own though.

[mind_wander]

I am about as much a fan of children as I am of any other human. *I refuse to talk down to them. *I'll ask them questions or talk at them the same way that I would with some horrifyingly old person. *Most parents don't mind and just give me a weird look when I do that. *Some get offended, for some reason, even if I haven't uttered anything especially evil. *As with adults, most kids don't know what I'm talking about, but the cool ones do and can carry conversations. *Mostly, I ignore them. *In restaurants, little kids will stare or laugh, and I will glare or entertain with, "What? *What you want? *What? *Ew! *Why are you looking at me? *Augh! *What is behind myself?" after which, I shall grab my foot and hide behind it (flexible hips, I guess).
Oh cool, well great kinda felt lonely being the only one in here; don't mind being with children. The annoying one's, well thats something different.

[mind_wander]

I generally don't like children, they're annoying, but I think I'd like to have some eventually. *One kid in particular I know for some reason got very attached to me and would always hug me, talk to me, etc, and it really got on my nerves. *

Because your the omniscient one and plenty to learn from; your the child's role model from an INTJ standpoint. So why complain here, start asking questions to the child. Hey, see those two kids playing? If 2 of them are fighting, its because of its something stupid. Do you want to fight about something stupid? Probably not, stay away from that crowd or you will become dumber *:thumbsup: Oh yeah kid, if you hug me too many times, I will sufficate and I can't give you more advice. Now you don't really want that, do you? yes, the kid will let go of you. You are the teacher mentoring the kid on how to interact with the INTJ view points. Maybe one day that kid might become an INTJ one day. Heck might even sign up on this INTJ website.

[rwyatt365]

I like children and most children (especially the youngest ones) tend to like me. I don't look on children as being annoying unless they are behaving badly – which, for some, can be quite often. What I like to do with children is to observe them and project their behavior forward into adulthood; this one will be a bully, that one will be a pushover, etc…that INTJ-analysis thing.

BTW – I have children, step-children, and grand-children.

[mind_wander]

Glad to know, you kinda do the same thing, although I don't have kids at the moment. Try to stear them into your realm, kids love exploring and so as INTJ's. There is a compromising somewhere along the lines. I think, its kinda cool because you mold them, observe, mentor them. By the time, you are done with them, they will view the world, so differently-the other kids will look at them funny. Always tell them, you are very special and unique. They just don't like special people, its their ignorance.

[rwyatt365]

Glad to know, you kinda do the same thing, although I don't have kids at the moment. Try to stear them into your realm, kids love exploring and so as INTJ's. There is a compromising somewhere along the lines. I think, its kinda cool because you mold them, observe, mentor them. By the time, you are done with them, they will view the world, so differently-the other kids will look at them funny. Always tell them, you are very special and unique. They just don't like special people, its their ignorance.
Yes, steer them in the right direction as well as listen to what they have to say. I mean, really listen. I think that's a failing of so many parents, they hear what their children are saying but they don’t listen. That's why so many kids get screwed up and screwed over, 'cause their parents have their own agenda and Little Billy will have hell to pay if they don’t follow it.

I don't tell kids that they are 'special' and 'unique' though. To them that means 'retarded' and 'weird'. I tell kids that they are who they are and don't let anyone try to make them something (or someone) else. The most important thing to me is to make a kid feel like they are important and that they can do something good and right – in effect, bolster their self-worth.

[ISeidh]

I never liked children even when I was one. I do like teenagers - they're more like people.

I love animals and have all my life, maybe because they don't talk. I have to read their expressions and body language, which I can't do with most people because they're distracting me with their noise (talking).

[bibliophile]

I tend to like children more than adults. They may be just as rotten, but they're less fake and hypocritical and they often have a sense of fun and the ridiculous that adults lack. You can usually cut out the social games with kids and just ask the question. I've worked with kids a bit (they generally think I'm nice but weird) and I try to treat them as independent, thinking beings who deserve to be told not just what but why.

[bucolic_]

I generally don't like children, they're annoying, but I think I'd like to have some eventually. One kid in particular I know for some reason got very attached to me and would always hug me, talk to me, etc, and it really got on my nerves.

Because your the omniscient one and plenty to learn from; your the child's role model from an INTJ standpoint. So why complain here, start asking questions to the child. Hey, see those two kids playing? If 2 of them are fighting, its because of its something stupid. Do you want to fight about something stupid? Probably not, stay away from that crowd or you will become dumber :thumbsup: Oh yeah kid, if you hug me too many times, I will sufficate and I can't give you more advice. Now you don't really want that, do you? yes, the kid will let go of you. You are the teacher mentoring the kid on how to interact with the INTJ view points. Maybe one day that kid might become an INTJ one day. Heck might even sign up on this INTJ website.

Yeah, I think that's good advice, although I'm still young, it's something I should work on.

[Bossy Mom]

I love my children, and I'm sure I will love and spoil my grandchildren. I've already been making quilts for my grandchildren and neither of my children are married yet (I always plan ahead). I don't care for other people's children, though. I think it is because I am the eldest of nine children and had enough of raising children. I want to move on.

[The Rose]

I used to tell people I am NEVER having kids!
I hated them.
God changed/healed my heart, and made me want them.
I have 3. I love them. I like them.

I don't "love" other people's children.
It's more like "tolerate".

They're just so darn noisy and intrusive - and high maintenance.

[wolf]

Some of the things mentioned above are also common - I have this mysterious respect from most children, small children find me fascinating (stare at me, smile at me, etc), and I talk to them as I might an adult (I don't talk down to them).

[mind_wander]

Glad to know, you kinda do the same thing, although I don't have kids at the moment. Try to stear them into your realm, kids love exploring and so as INTJ's. There is a compromising somewhere along the lines. I think, its kinda cool because you mold them, observe, mentor them. By the time, you are done with them, they will view the world, so differently-the other kids will look at them funny. Always tell them, you are very special and unique. They just don't like special people, its their ignorance.
Yes, steer them in the right direction as well as listen to what they have to say. I mean, really listen. I think that's a failing of so many parents, they hear what their children are saying but they don’t listen. That's why so many kids get screwed up and screwed over, 'cause their parents have their own agenda and Little Billy will have hell to pay if they don’t follow it.

I don't tell kids that they are 'special' and 'unique' though. To them that means 'retarded' and 'weird'. I tell kids that they are who they are and don't let anyone try to make them something (or someone) else. The most important thing to me is to make a kid feel like they are important and that they can do something good and right – in effect, bolster their self-worth.
I had an inuition you might say that, "special' means retard. in my eyes, its mean you are so unique that you are more powerful, oh omniminist one.

[Jbmontag]

I have found that children and animals love me, everyone else is pretty hit or miss.
I don't want any of my own though, I never have.

I'm a big fan of playing and am prone to singing non sense songs, making odd faces. I also know a few magic tricks, and think that's why kids like me. I do enjoy when children leave with their parents as there always comes a point when I don't want them around any more. Animals are always better at taking the hint.

[Daniel]

i guess, then I am the odd one in here; talk about being rare.

I'm joining you bro.I love children.I'm thinking of doing toy design as a career one day.
I guess, despite having basic similarities INTJ's can be very different.It's like there are a lot more species of them.

[mind_wander]

Make sure, that toy is also can be played by INTJ's, as well as other personality traits. I would break out laughing, if it has a faulty toy design, then an INTJ kids say, "ok, now who the heck made this?" Apparently, it should make you think......Why its faulty design? Observed it, for some time, then look at it again. By that time, still stare at it, wow this toy is so cool now. Now I know who made this toy, its an INTJ.

But anyways, there is a few INTJ's in here like children and yeah, animals just love staring at me too. Lick me, see how I function, jumps, hops, etc. Ok, as long you don't bite me, I will definitely call animal control.

[curse10]

Not particularly. And I don't plan on having any of my own (much to the dismay of my mother and mother-in-law). I've never liked children- even when I was a child. I don't like the running around, the screaming, the mess.

[mind_wander]

For me, I find it harilous internally, "When a child keeps running around, unintentially block their way, I kinda wanted to see what they do next." Of course, people are around me staring at the child. I was like thinking to myself, hmm see if they kid would go around the problem, or keep bumping into me to see, if he/she can knock some sense out of them [If you can't go in front of you, then go around you].

[spookyu]

I can not stand most children. However, when I come across a child that exhibits above average intelligence or does something clever I lighten up a LOT towards that child. Does anyone else do this?

[Vayate]

I despise children. They're irritating with their incessant inane badgering and their dependence on others; basically, they embody everything that I hate about other people. I realize that this is a completely unfair judgment, yet I stand by it.

[WavesSootheMe]

I'm the eldest of four. I've been taking care of children since the age of 9. I like children more than I like most adults. I work with children. Children with autism to be exact (which is a separate but interesting point). I see the children that I work with as growing bundles of neurons that I'm helping to tweak and shape. Their brains are a complex puzzle that I'm trying to solve. They can be a huge challenge, but that's what I love about my job. I like getting the low to moderate cases. Typical children or high-functioning children talk way too much, and they argue. The low to moderate children resort to screaming, crying, kicking, biting, pinching, dropping their bodies, running etc. For some reason, I prefer dealing with these behaviors than the nonsensical arguments of a five year-old. However, I like when the typical children aren't my responsibility and I'm around to catch some of the hilarious things they say.

I agree that I speak to children more like adults. I'm not as playful as some as the other therapists. I had to learn how to be animated and playful to create an appropriate learning environment for the 3 and 4 year-olds.

I hate babies. More accurately, I hate the way adults act around babies. I was smiling at this baby one time and my ex rolled his eyes and said "typical girl," but in reality I was smiling because the blanket was situated just perfectly that the baby looked like The Emperor from Star Wars and I was laughing to myself. It didn't seem like it was an appropriate thing to say within earshot of the parents.

I don't want my own children. I don't know if I ever will. Having a child is a huge commitment and I would probably drive myself crazy trying to do everything just right. So many other factors come into play with that sort of a decision. I don't even know if I'll ever wish to partake in the social ritual of marriage. That doesn't make much sense to me either.

[mind_wander]

Children with autism, you say. That is one INTJ challenge, but INTJ's like to solve puzzles; glad to hear you enjoy with what your doing :) Do not let others influence you otherwise. Hey, somebody needs to guide them right?

[Ian]

No - don't like them, don't want them and really don't want to suffer other people's (unfortunately though, we have to tolerate them in, thankfully, small doses)

We decided 20 years ago (as a couple) that we just did not want to have kids and 20 years on, we are happy with the decision. We have even had the 'why did you bother to get married if you don't want a family?', to which I usually reply 'what has it got to do with you? It was our choice'

[mind_wander]

No - don't like them, don't want them and really don't want to suffer other people's (unfortunately though, we have to tolerate them in, thankfully, small doses)

We decided 20 years ago (as a couple) that we just did not want to have kids and 20 years on, we are happy with the decision. We have even had the 'why did you bother to get married if you don't want a family?', to which I usually reply 'what has it got to do with you? It was our choice'

Have your ever considered this question. Do you wanted to continue the INTJ legacy and pass it off to your offspring? Man, these INTJ, who does not like children is really depressing me. So maybe this is the big reason why the INTJ personality type is considered rare[near to extinct]. Wow, puzzled solved, I always wanted to know why :)

[Ian]

Puzzle 'not solved' - only half of the partenrship is INTJ - my partner is ESTP (yes I know, I know - we are not compatable, up is down, black is white, nothing makes sense....), and she is even more anti than me!

[WavesSootheMe]

Children with autism, you say. That is one INTJ challenge, but INTJ's like to solve puzzles; glad to hear you enjoy with what your doing :) Do not let others influence you otherwise. Hey, somebody needs to guide them right?

I'm an INTJ. Why would I ever let anyone else tell me any different? :)

You would think that it would be an INTJ challenge, but I'm not an INTJ with AS and most of the kids I work with are mod to severe. The social skills that I can teach them equate to passing a ball with another kid on the playground and asking peers to pass the glue in class. With my spatial abilities, physics is the bane of my existence (unless you add something I enjoy, like chemistry). I don't enjoy thinking about inanimate objects and they way they work. Instead, I like thinking about animals and humans and the way they work. I was a Bio Sci major but I doubled in Psychology. I did research as an undergraduate, but I hated being stuck in a lab all day. I love nature and natural sunlight. Applied Behavior Analysis (my field) is very data-based. It's very structured and scientific. It's framework helps me to understand human behavior. Maybe it takes an INTJ to appreciate the beauty of humans in almost a non-humanistic way?

After reading through the posts here, I feel a bit more social than my fellow INTJs. I go to dances, I go to bars and clubs, I go to concerts, I do things and plan things with friends on a regular basis, I enjoy social events. I'm still an introvert: I keep most of my thoughts to myself (one of my ex-bfs would always talk about my "inner world"), I'm in the background not the life of the party, I need my alone time to recharge. Although it didn't come naturally, all of my social exposure has helped me to grasp social conventions. I may not always like them, think them necessary, or participate in them, but I know what they are. In this way, I'm perfect as a therapist for children with Autism. I can relate to and understand them on many levels. Isn't it better to have an instructor that understands you rather than expects you to just get it?

oh P.S. I always joke around and call myself a manipulator of children with Autism, because well basically I'm manipulating their behavior. I'm in control, and if I'm not in control, it's my job to rise to the challenge and figure out how to get there. I think that's why I like children more than adults.

[mind_wander]

lol, to clarify it was supposed to be, "You as an INTJ help people others with the challenges of autisms." Since, INTJ like challenges, although its not really a challenge at all to you're INTJ. I didn't clarify it; but its nice to know INTJ's does do these things :)

[niffer]

I treat everyone, including very young children, in the exact same way. This works out though, because I treat people in such a way that I bend for each individual. It also works out well for young children specifically because I have the mindset of a 2-year-old, and they can tell. It's easy for us to connect.

[deicruxified]

one of my dream careers is to ba a child psychologist. however, like most of the people here, with my financial status and loads of very ambitious dreams for myself, i don't want a kid right now. as of the moment, i'm trying to help my cousin babysit his son who seems to be a growing xntj.

[Henry]

oh P.S. I always joke around and call myself a manipulator of children with Autism, because well basically I'm manipulating their behavior. I'm in control, and if I'm not in control, it's my job to rise to the challenge and figure out how to get there. I think that's why I like children more than adults.

I would seek psychological help. Immediately. And freudian or gestalt stuff, not CBT or rogerian approaches.

[WavesSootheMe]

I would seek psychological help. Immediately. And freudian or gestalt stuff, not CBT or rogerian approaches.

Well thank you very much for what I'm sure is a professional opinion of the utmost quality Henry. I'm obviously harming several children by providing an environment where they can learn and grow. Perhaps you should seek a course jokes and sarcasm. Oh and why not throw in one on context.

[INTJgal]

I love kids. One on one is better than large ratios, although I find when kids are in a pre-structured "kid environment" and you just connect with one, that's the best way to connect as opposed to walking up to a kid and trying to figure out a way to enjoy time with them.

I hate being around them all the time, though. They are a major investment of personal time and energy.

When they're my own, I'll do alright. I'm sure they will drive me crazy, but they will be worth it.

[Chainsaw Dundee]

Yes, and Im quite certain they like me back.

I like them because they are usually unrestrained by the social norms in expressing their ideas and opinions. They have no ulterior motives, and if they get out of hand, they are easier to dispose of than a full-sized adult.

I think they like me because I give them attention and treat them like actual people, contrary to the masses is towards children.

[Headstrong]

I like children. Babysitting my neighbor's two kids for the past two years as been my main source of income. Their current ages are 3 (little girl) and 8 (2nd grade boy). Some days they really tick me off because of their attitudes and how they rev each other up, but I am instilling in them the wonder of "please" and "thank you." I just don't want them to be spoiled brats. Both are very attractive and the boy is already getting plenty of attention from girls. I told him no dating until high school. :-) He actually likes the idea and has a list formed entitled "Girls I can date when I am a teenager." He's such a ham, but I love him. Tangenting...so yeah. I like kids, except for the spoiled brats with attitude problems.

Oh, they're also very honest, which is fantastic. The little girl told me my breath smelled yesterday and I just kind of chuckled. She's the one who didn't brush that morning...

I wish everyone was honest 24/7. It would take the guess work out of relationships.

[cielo market]

In my experience of working at a daycare, I've notice that a lot usually turn bratty around 4th grade. Just the boys, though. But it could have been because I was an authority figure to them and they thought "I think I'm supposed to rebel at this point" >_>

[Paul V]

Yes, usually. I really love them if they're smart.

[mind_wander]

Wait until, these children talks back to ya, now its time to play mind games; just to see who wins. Curial, but it helps the child expand their sense of knowledge, plus make them smarter.

[Gabrielle]

I like type A children, meaning that they're introverted and quiet. I was one of those; apparently my mother had a relatively easy time raising me, since I didn't scream and cry and roll around the floor as an infant. Yeah, I can handle those children.

But the type B who runs around in restaurants and screams? I hate those. I really do.

[mind_wander]

I like type A children, meaning that they're introverted and quiet. I was one of those; apparently my mother had a relatively easy time raising me, since I didn't scream and cry and roll around the floor as an infant. Yeah, I can handle those children.

But the type B who runs around in restaurants and screams? I hate those. I really do.

The type B, give your the run for the money, lol. They think its so fun to frustrate you, in trying to see what makes you tick?

[Sey.Naci]

Have never understood this question. It rests on an unfounded assumption, that people like or dislike ALL children simply by virtue of their being children.

I don't understand children, despite having had two of my own. Those two I know very well, perhaps better than other types may understand their children. But with other children, the young ones, I'm very awkward and uncomfortable being around. Get along great with teenagers though.

[lhsimm]

I was never comfortable around kids until I had my own. I have a son, and it has been quite a challenge to learn to communicate in a way that both nurtures (We INTJs aren't known for our nurturing abilities!) him and stimulates him in positive ways.

It can also be a challenge to appeal to his feelings when appealing logically doesn't work.

I've had a few misfires, as all parents do. However, I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.

[Tegyrius]

Not a big fan of kids. Thoroughly uncomfortable interacting with them. Don't ever want any of my own.

What I actively detest is people who assume that "everyone" wants children and, when I say I don't, give me some variation on "oh, you're just saying that."

- C.

[sw7104]

I love my children. My daughter is the heart and soul of me. You will never know how your parents felt about you until you have children of your own. Other people's kids are ... other people's kids. I wish them well and prefer to not deal with them.

[ChilaK]

Hmm, I seem to be an odd one out here but, I love children! I think a big part of it is how they're often not bogged down by the silly social rituals and false pretenses that adults are. They often have insights into the world that most adults I find aren't even thinking about.

[lazyhappy]

well... i like some children and i dislike others... i think this depends on what the personality of the child is and what you would define as a child

[Macgroovy]

Growing up I never wanted kids.. None.
I ended up with several of my own, two of them on the autism spectrum.. My own children are fine.. however I secretly loathe other peoples kids.
I am not certain why.. I have a good friend who does daycare, the mere concept makes me shudder.

[amei]

My opinion on children has definitely changed since I started teaching. Some days I love my students, some days I hate them, but all days I am glad to see them go home.

I know it sounds selfish, but I don't want any children of my own anytime in the near future because I want that time for myself. It sounds selfish, but to me it makes sense. Children are a huge time commitment. You are in charge of them for 18 years and then you can't just disown them when they move out. Until I feel ready to sacrifice my time and freedom for their sake, I think I would do any potential children a huge dissatisfaction by not being willing to put them above me.

[Meyer]

The one thing I love about young children is the complete openness of their mind. They are not yet corrupted by many of the conditioned expectations of society. I am definitely not ready to have my own but would like to one day.

[WavesSootheMe]

I would like to add that it absolutely depends on the kid and the context.

I love my students (ages 4-9 currently). Even when they're throwing a fit, I love them. When I moved cities and left my students in San Diego, I teared up a bit (which doesn't happen often). I knew each of those kids so well and found so many of their little quirks endearing. This one boy would try so hard to pull you into his world, and the little girl I took to tumbling for social/play skills was learning so fast. The other therapists had them draw me pictures before I left, and those pictures are up on my wall here. It's entirely rewarding to formulate a plan, work through their behaviors and see a light go on. My youngest student just started spontaneously imitating speech (at the age of four). If they're having a great day, I take the opportunity to play games and I get to be creative with what games we play. Anything with anticipation seems to send them into fits of laughter. I get to have fun with it and laugh too and all the while I'm getting paid. That being said, I make it clear that there's a time to work and a time to play, and how clear that line needs to be depends on the child. I choose to work with children instead of adults, because of the potential and the appreciation of creativeness.

Additionally, when I went to my Grandma's 80th birthday all of my cousins brought all of their kids. Like I said before, I didn't give much attention to the babies, but I loved my eldest cousin's girls (ages 5 and 7). The two sisters reminded me so much of me and my sister. I played with them the whole week. I taught them toilet tag and thumb wrestling, and some silly songs from my days in girl scouts. I really enjoyed them and I was glad they were there.

I guess the thing is that my life is already so full of children that I couldn't imagine having any of my own.

[Blendy]

I like quiet, well-behaved children in small doses (ie no more than a couple hours). I don't want kids of my own. Weirdly, kids seem to like me a lot.

[robin.]

I absolutely detest most children. Stop running around the store, stop knocking stuff over, stop arm wrestling with your brother, stop kicking my seat, stop screaming, just STOP.

And babies? Stop crying, stop sniffling, stop smelling so bad, stop DROOLING. Please, if you're going to stop anything, STOP drooling!

HOWEVER, when I run across a smart, quiet, insightful child, I'm simply enamored by them. If it's a calm baby, then I can tolerate it.

I know my opinion on babies will change when I have one of my own...or at least I hope so, because babies actually repulse me to the point of feeling nauseous.

[Hdier]

I like being around children for a limited period of time. Any longer than two hours and they start to bug me. Keep in mind that the definition of 'children' may be different in my case, as I am still only 14 :( (though older, in maturity level).

[banzai]

I can see myself loving kids if I ever have some... as for other kids, it depends-

I guess I see children as the raw elements of personality that exist all the way through life (although much more refined in adults, they still exist). Typical crappy kids bug the hell out of me. Then there is a large portion I'm somewhat impartial to.

Lastly there are a few that I adore because they remind me of myself... there are always a few who seem brighter, or more adventurous, always running off to the dismay of parents to explore. "Oh dear, where is Billy?!" meanwhile I've got a huge grin on my face... I could probably guess. :)

[terencec]

Teens are clearly the most annoying group of people out there. That said, we all were very special at that age, and the narcissism at that age is really a biopsychosocial phenomenon and has little to do with choice.

Bad parenting is, in one form or another, a choice, and bad choices in parenting can ruin a person's life and be a huge drain on society if that person becomes antisocial or has to spend the rest of their life in therapy because dad couldn't keep it in his pants or mom was a drug addict.

Talking to figment of my imagination: If you don't want the responsibility, don't have unprotected sex. Even if that doesn't work and you get knocked up, there is still abortion, adoption, and abandonment. All are better options than taking your kid to see Saw when he's 4 years old.

No, I don't like children. I agree what you said.

There are 1/3 of 6 billion people in 3rd world they don't even have enough food. If "love" is no limit, we should extend our love to those children. We don't need more children/people in this world.

[dayguard]

Love them!!... wanna have lots of them. I'm 25 and I have 5 and 8 year-old sisters. Simply love having my sisters around.

All I need now is a potential life partner... and a job. Hah!

Hmm... but I did quit tutoring a child because he didn't listen to me. But that's probably because it's too little benefit for the work I had to put in. I also thought, I was better off paying attention to other things than improve my child care skills at that moment. It was logical to leave the job to someone more experienced.

[mielikki]

I like MY children.
Children in general.....not so much.
I had no interest in children when I was growing up, and was somewhat surprised at the instinctive and fierce feelings immediately present when I had my own. Like Macgroovy above, two of mine are on the autistic spectrum. My daughter is not, poor kid. She thinks *she's* the oddball. I have to keep reminding her that being neurotypical is the norm in the real world, and she's actually fine. She answered the question on her Facebook account "How do you differ from your family" with "Um, I have emotions and feelings?"

[nesmar]

I'm not all that interested in having kids, but I'm not against it either. The funny thing is people who rush to have kids are probably unfit parents.

The Earth's population is doubling every 40 years anyways, so its for the best that more people don't have kids.

[yondyr]

To some, children are a waste of time, relating to. They have a short attention span, their interest in a subject tends to be shallow. Many have a guile that's fairly transparent, though they don't realise it. If I'm a solitary type person then when I do relate to another let it please be someone intelligent, with depth, and prepared to think subjects through with an open mind.

[abski83]

I like kids. I always have a soft spot for them. Wonders of nature.. I'm amazed at how easy they can make me smile. :)

[Zilal]

I love kids, though I don't think I'd want to work with them full-time (though I did like counseling summer camp quite a bit), and at this point I don't think I would make the kind of mother I'd want to be. I wouldn't do it unless I'd managed to gather up quite a bit more wisdom than I have now, and maybe not even then. But I'd want to be able to give any kids of mine all the support and commitment in the world.

[Danisty]

I used to tell people I am NEVER having kids!
I hated them.
God changed/healed my heart, and made me want them.
I have 3. I love them. I like them.

I don't "love" other people's children.
It's more like "tolerate".

They're just so darn noisy and intrusive - and high maintenance.I'm sure you probably didn't intend to, but you sort of just said that people who hate kids are flawed and need to be fixed in some way. What's wrong with just hating kids? Why does that require healing?

Have your ever considered this question. Do you wanted to continue the INTJ legacy and pass it off to your offspring? Man, these INTJ, who does not like children is really depressing me. So maybe this is the big reason why the INTJ personality type is considered rare[near to extinct]. Wow, puzzled solved, I always wanted to know why :)WOW. Okay, the whole legacy thing is the most annoying thing to me. My husband is the last male grandchild in the family and his Catholic father always tried to push this idea of legacy and carrying on the family name. If I want to create a legacy, I'll do that in my lifetime. I don't need to procreate to prove my worth.

I know it sounds selfish, but I don't want any children of my own anytime in the near future because I want that time for myself. It sounds selfish, but to me it makes sense. Children are a huge time commitment. You are in charge of them for 18 years and then you can't just disown them when they move out. Until I feel ready to sacrifice my time and freedom for their sake, I think I would do any potential children a huge dissatisfaction by not being willing to put them above me.Why are you buying into society's stereotypes? It isn't selfish and you don't need to worry about sounding terrible. What you're doing is actually selfless. Selfish would be having a kid when you can't take care of one just to satisfy a desire for motherhood. Those are the people who are screwed up in the head and don't have their priorities right.

I don't like children. They are stupid and obnoxious and needy. Is that their fault? No, but it doesn't make it less true.

[Hdier]

'Hate', in and of itself, is bad for you. Especially if it's constant. Therefore, simply tolerating children is better than hating.

Also, I am never, and never was (except as a baby; before I could even walk), needy or obnoxious (I'm not sure if you consider 14 a child or not). Actually, I am obnoxious to my peers when they attempt to bully me/others, but that doesn't count, at least in my mind.

However, if you are talking about being child in mind, then I agree that they can be obnoxious, needy, and rude, though I put up with it. Not sure why, though.

[Danisty]

Actually, i don't have much trouble getting along with teenagers. Despite what most people seem to think, you can reason with a teenager.

[Caramel]

I don't like children and I don't want any. I don't mind other peoples children though, but I just can't picture myself as a good mother. I would probably drive my child nuts with overly high expectations... no, bad idea.

[Hdier]

Actually, i don't have much trouble getting along with teenagers. Despite what most people seem to think, you can reason with a teenager.

I've been studying my peers, and I think that as long as you don't start yelling or threatening to punish or anything, then they can be reasoned with (mostly).

[Caramel]

Just pretend you think of them as equals and suddenly they become very open to your suggestions and reasoning.

But that kind of works with everyone.

[tom330]

I love kids! I've got four of my own and I have learned more from them than they ever will from me. But, when I was younger the idea of having kids scared me.

As my kids have gotten older, they have challenged me in ways I could never imagine (like the time my son wanted to join the High School dance team.)

Now that I think about it, most of the adults I know act like kids too!

[Danisty]

I've been studying my peers, and I think that as long as you don't start yelling or threatening to punish or anything, then they can be reasoned with (mostly).Well it's really all in how you approach them. As soon as you act like an authority figure, you've lost.

[Hdier]

That's the point I was trying to communicate, though I did it badly. That's the mistake I've noticed a lot of my teachers making, they will try to 'assert their authority' in order to 'gain their respect'. The only problem is, that never works, and they lose respect with mature people like me because they don't use their heads (odd, I would think that teachers would think).

[Kydwyn]

I love children of all ages. Was the oldest of my 3 sibs and have 5 of my own. Always knew I wanted them. I find them refreshingly honest and straight forward.

[Ribcakes]

i don't think that it is really us not liking, i just think we prefer to have an intellectual discussion with people which is almost impossible with small children.
i personally do not like children because i cannot speak to them on an intellectual level

[dbjs]

I don't like small kids under the age of 3.
But...I've been a substitute teacher for 2 years and the kids, from age 8-15, found me to be facinating, so they were easy to handle. Some would walk around with me and talk to me endlessly, other would ask my advice, I really didn't have much time for myself when I was at the school, that was a bit hard on me. I love to sit in a quiet room for endless time and just let my thoughts rush by.

My motto about children is, that they should be born at the age of 3, because that's when you can start to talk to them and make them understand.

I don't think however that I will ever have a child of my own. It would take away to much of my need for freedom. :)

[Booko]

Early in life I was pretty sure I'd never marry and didn't particularly want children. Well, I ended up getting married and we have 2 kids (1 just in college, the other 16).

I like my children. I'm not so sure about everyone elses, but that usually comes down to parenting issues.

I tend to get along with teenagers better. They can reason.

Given a choice between socializing with random children and herding geese, I'd probably take the geese.

[Seven]

Babies and young children fascinate me and touch me in ways that older children and adults cannot. They are precious and make me smile. Having said that, I don't quite see myself ever having children of my own. I am old-fashioned in the sense that I believe that a mother should stay at home and raise her children - that her sole purpose should be to cherish, love, nourish, teach and support her children. The self sacrifice, responsibility and commitment is terrifying...perhaps one day in the far future...

[yondyr]

Seven.. surely either parent could perform that function?

[Seven]

I'm sure either parent could and some families certainly do. I guess I just feel that those are my expectations of myself should I ever decide to start a family.

[lowtech redneck]

I think children are adorable...so long as someone else is taking care of them. Otherwise, I am too selfish and impatient. I enjoy being an uncle, but I would not like to be a parent for the foreseeable future.

[Alpha Prime]

I think there are many things adults can learn and benefit from younglings. Things that adults usually loose as they grow older, but are good for them.

[Cuivienen]

A lot of smart friends I have (not sure that all are Intj) don't like children.I want to explore this phenomenon.

I`ve always prefered animals to children. I`ve never had extremely much to do with little children, though.
When I was 14 I used to babysit a 7 (girl) and a 9-year old (boy) and we got along fine, but I was always exhausted afterwards. Especially the boy was always trying to find out how many rules he could break and get away with it (they were both overly controlled by their mother and he was rebelling).
Older children (10 and older), especially smart ones, are sometimes quite interesting to talk to if you catch them alone. What I do find irritating are little boys in large groups as they are usually rude and loud.

Which does not mean I definately never want to have children of my own. Sometime, in the far away future, it might be nice to have one or two to teach things and watch them grow and develop.

[Hdier]

I'd be in the category of the second to last sentence in your first paragraph. Catching me online works as well. Otherwise, what you get is a biological mass of flesh and bone with little command of language unless answering a question it feels like answering.

[Pinkie]

I love kids. They're always learning things, and every day is a fascinating new experience for them. To me, that's utterly wonderful.

[Danisty]

I think there are many things adults can learn and benefit from younglings. Things that adults usually loose as they grow older, but are good for them.Or we could just hold onto those things instead of losing them. I was at the grocery store the other day and the lady at the deli commented on my tattoos. I have my right arm sleeved in anime tattoos (specifically Cowboy Bebop). She was excited when she saw it and proceeded to tell me that all of her kid's favorite characters were on my arm and then asked if I had any kids. Uh, no. I guess I just haven't grown up and I really don't plan to. I can have much more fun reading comics, watching anime, playing video games, roleplaying and generally using my imagination than I could ever have trying to share that stuff with children. It seems silly to let all of that stuff go just to have it taught to us by the next generation.

[curious1]

I like children well enough and always make it a point to show a kind face to them.

[King K]

I hate kids and immature people, teenagers are fine though as long as they're not immature, I'm a teenager so this is to be expected.

[BadMojo]

q - Do you like children?
a - Yes. I love their innocent honesty.

[Aquila]

I love my own children, love being with them, and we have a great time together. However, I feel very awkward around other peoples' children.

Having children forced me to be social and makes it a lot easier for me to have conversations with others, esp. other parents.

[gzeus]

My own yes, other people's - horrible loud little monsters.

[Kfbr]

I feel awkward around them. A guy I work with has a baby and asked me to hold it once, I must have looked ridiculous the way I held it because he busted up laughing for like 20 minutes.

I'd like to think I'd be an awesome dad, but sometimes I wonder..

[Antares]

I feel awkward around them. A guy I work with has a baby and asked me to hold it once, I must have looked ridiculous the way I held it because he busted up laughing for like 20 minutes.

I'd like to think I'd be an awesome dad, but sometimes I wonder..

Lol! That happened to me a couple of days ago. My aunt just gave birth and my mom made me hold the baby. I wouldn't hold him for more than 20 seconds. I'm somehow unsure of myself. I like children, but I don't know how to communicate with them. Somehow, I have no interest in what they say and they are the same to me. Children go ga-ga over a strangely-shaped cloud and when they tell me, I just respond timidly: Um... Yeah. Pretty. For some reason, kids like me. I don't know why. Some kids tend to stay clear of certain teenagers, but they're comfortable talking to me and kept coming back to me even if I give them silent treatment because they'd done something wrong. My friend has a younger brother who is always bullying and physically abusing her other friends. Although I got one or two blows, it's far less from what her other friends are receiving. Her other friends are terrified of him and leaves whenever he comes, but I find myself able to talk to him and we actually have things in common. Another thing might be that the others tend to flee at his sight, but I just stand my ground, showing no fear whatsoever (don't get me wrong. His blows are painful and to be honest, I'd rather flee along with them, but that didn't spare them of his abuse) and eyeing him coldly when he threatens me. I'm in truth quite afraid of him, but I find that he tends to change his mind about attacking me if I stay. I think I kind of put him in his place :p

I prefer animals over children. I can easily spend a day under water scuba diving, observing the Angelfish and petting the larger ones who find me friendly enough to follow me around and stalking the sharks. I also enjoy being with animals like sheeps, dogs, cats, does, dolphins, squirrels and kangaroos. They don't talk to me like the children do, but I find the experience so much more enjoyable.

[polyintj]

Am indifferent to kids generally. Am sure I'll love mine to death coz I cant just wait to start my family, but I surely cant spare much love for other ppls kids. I just go avoid them as much as I can.

[ssfanatic]

Gosh man, i cant stand children. They drive me up the wall. I dont like people who dont think realistically and children never do. I have the patience to deal with them occasionally, but they just come across as obnoxious.

[Learning]

A lot of smart friends I have (not sure that all are Intj) don't like children.I want to explore this phenomenon.
I basically see kids as just people (in perhaps a different stage of the development process:)). They can be great because they're so raw about what they think/feel, and that can be refreshing at times, even hilarious.

[FLBareBear]

I Like children; extra crispy with ketchup or barbeque sause....:rolleyes:

[anthrogirl]

I wonder if INTJ's are the type most likely to not want children? maybe a poll is in order. I have two friends who are 'childfree' and they are both INTJ's. Anyway, I have two kids, it has been a battle to be a good mum and I often feel like I am failing at it but I kept trying my best. The hardest thing for me is the 24/7 care and not getting time to think and process or be by myself, and consistantly being interupted all the time. I also find their neediness hard to deal with. However I have learnt new skills having kids, such as learning to relax more and not being such a clean-holic as I used to be. I love my kids, especially as they have gotten older, I enjoy having interesting discussions with my oldest, but the toddler years were the hardest. However I still do not really like most other people's children, especially rowdy, agressive boys. I never like babysitting and my job from hell would be to be a preschool teacher!

[Antares]

I wonder if INTJ's are the type most likely to not want children? maybe a poll is in order. I have two friends who are 'childfree' and they are both INTJ's. Anyway, I have two kids, it has been a battle to be a good mum and I often feel like I am failing at it but I kept trying my best. The hardest thing for me is the 24/7 care and not getting time to think and process or be by myself, and consistantly being interupted all the time. I also find their neediness hard to deal with. However I have learnt new skills having kids, such as learning to relax more and not being such a clean-holic as I used to be. I love my kids, especially as they have gotten older, I enjoy having interesting discussions with my oldest, but the toddler years were the hardest. However I still do not really like most other people's children, especially rowdy, agressive boys. I never like babysitting and my job from hell would be to be a preschool teacher!

I don't want children either... But I'm in high school... Plenty of time to decide and change. One thing's for sure. I won't have a lot of them due to my concern for overpopulation.

[anthrogirl]

When I was a teenager I didn't want to get married or have kids. In my early twenties I changed my mind on getting married, and changed my mind on kids after I meet my husband, maybe we get more flexible as we get older?! However I know a lady who has 9 kids!! and she homeschools them as well, definately would NOT want to go there! Two is enough for me.

[Danisty]

When I was a teenager I didn't want to get married or have kids. In my early twenties I changed my mind on getting married, and changed my mind on kids after I meet my husband, maybe we get more flexible as we get older?! However I know a lady who has 9 kids!! and she homeschools them as well, definately would NOT want to go there! Two is enough for me.I think it just depends on the person. When I was a kid I didn't want kids, when I was a teenager I didn't want kids and now I'm 29 and I still don't want kids. In fact, probably one of the most irritating things I hear is that I will change my mind. People have been telling me that from the beginning. I'm not saying you're doing that though. It's just something that really irritates me.

[Colette]

A lot of smart friends I have (not sure that all are Intj) don't like children.I want to explore this phenomenon.

Have they forgotten they were children once? Would they have wanted parents who were abusive, neglectful, or, more to the point, have no parents at all (and thus not have been given the chance at life)?

[Danisty]

Have they forgotten they were children once? Would they have wanted parents who were abusive, neglectful, or, more to the point, have no parents at all (and thus not have been given the chance at life)?I'm not sure what any of that has to do with liking children.

[PortInStorm]

Some of us (that don't like and/or have kids) actually are more aware of abuse etc.
- some of us think we wouldn't make good parents so don't have kids we might abuse
- some of us want to help the existing children who have suffered from poor parents and need good people like us to help them along, don't need all the good people too busy with their own kids to help.
- we understand that you can't give "nothing" a chance at life. Non-existent children are not pining away for a chance to live.

Sorry, I don't want to be harsh, but the childfree have been bruised about this topic for long enough.

[Danisty]

Some of us (that don't like and/or have kids) actually are more aware of abuse etc.
- some of us think we wouldn't make good parents so don't have kids we might abuse
- some of us want to help the existing children who have suffered from poor parents and need good people like us to help them along, don't need all the good people too busy with their own kids to help.
- we understand that you can't give "nothing" a chance at life. Non-existent children are not pining away for a chance to live.

Sorry, I don't want to be harsh, but the childfree have been bruised about this topic for long enough.I agree completely. I have no patience for children and don't enjoy their company at all. I know if I had kids, there is a possibility I would neglect them or worse. There is somewhat of a legacy of abuse in my husband's family and although he doesn't think he'd hurt a kid, you never know. I have actually been verbally assaulted by people when I tell them this. They think it's sick that I can say I'm worried I might harm a child. They also seem to think this means I can't be around children at all. I can spend short periods of time around other people's kids, but then those people take those kids home. It's the idea of being around them constantly that worries me. So no matter what answer I give, I'm the bad guy. I'm used to it.

[logos]

I love kids and hope to have a couple of my own some day. I don't understand why anyone would choose to not pass on their genes to the next generation unless they feel inferior in some way. Even outside of rational thought though, it's a primal instinct to which I respond. I don't understand how people can be so far removed from their own nature.

[PortInStorm]

Wow, I guess the important part there is "a primal instinct to which I respond." and " I don't understand". That's no problem at all that you respond to your instinct, and that you don't understand the childfree. However, you need to also admit that you don't understand my nature.

[Danisty]

I love kids and hope to have a couple of my own some day. I don't understand why anyone would choose to not pass on their genes to the next generation unless they feel inferior in some way. Even outside of rational thought though, it's a primal instinct to which I respond. I don't understand how people can be so far removed from their own nature.I don't see why it should be important to pass on my genes. I also don't understand why that should mean I think my genes are inferior. What do genes have to do with being pregnant, giving birth, and raising a child? I could think my genes are fantastic, but if I don't want to do any of those things, I have no business having children. I'm also not removed from my nature at all. I have a very strong primal instinct to have sex, but it's not in my nature at all to be a mother.

[ElGuyay]

I agree with the "seeing no importance" in passing on your genes part, but I ask myself sometimes if I would be helping or hurting society by not rearing a child. There's parents out there trying to bring humanity back to the dark ages. Don't you think you owe it to humanity to duplicate yourself? I don't plan on having children but sometimes I see how other people raise their kids, and see what kind of adults their children turn into, and it makes me want to have a child just to counteract them.

[dandylion]

I sometimes like them. I definitely don't hate them. I'm a teacher's aide for a 2nd grade class and I also tutor kids after school. It's voluntary, so it's likely that I like them. :P

Once, someone told me I had great maternal instincts... I was 15 when they said that. :/ I guess it's true because I do look out for others and make sure they're doing okay.

[logos]

However, you need to also admit that you don't understand my nature.

I do understand your nature as a fellow lifeform, mammal, and human. I experience it first hand. All of the convoluted notions in the world cannot change your nature.

I'm also not removed from my nature at all. I have a very strong primal instinct to have sex, but it's not in my nature at all to be a mother.

How do you know? Have you ever given birth? The fact that you exist indicates to me that every single female in your ancestry cared for and fed their offspring.

The fact is that I could watch you give birth and toss your child in a garbage can or outright murder it and I would still think it was in your nature to be a mother. I'd rationalize your actions as the result of some sort of mental problem.

[Provoker]

mind wanderer,

I have similar experiences wherein kids watch me and try to read me. I will look away for a while and then glance back and they will still be fixed on me, I'll usually smile or something. I really like little sophisticated smart kids with interesting things to say. They fascinate me.

But I always feel emotionally trapped or cornered when the kids are still under - say - 2 years and I am trying to amuse them in front of their parents. I also have a problem with holding other people's babies and I hate when I am at a social gathering and people pass the baby around and watch for my reaction when I hold it. I think because of my emotional numbness I just can't give a the baby the emotional vibrations that a homely mother can or something. It's as if I am holding a 2L bottle of coke and I feel so disgusted with myself for not being able to manufacture even some articial emotions to comfort the audience. I think it will be different with my own - in fact I know it will. But I feel emotionally snared and intense when I get passed the baby at social gatherings.

But I do enjoy once they're a little older. Kids can really lighten you up.

[Colette]

I'm not sure what any of that has to do with liking children.

It's about turning the attitude around, and asking yourself, would I as a child have wanted adults around me either not to have wanted me to exist, or to regard me as annoying, irritating, and stupid? I feel sure that most people (even the diehard child 'haters') would answer this question in the negative, if they could hop in a time capsule and fly back 15 odd years..

The other point I'd make is this. I think there's a big difference between the position of not wanting kids (which is a perfectly reasonable stance to take), and the position of just hating all kids (which to me, seems vaguely irrational, and possibly indicative of more deep seated issues than simply not wanting children). I understand the first position, but do not really understand (or agree) with the second.

[BadMojo]

A lot of smart friends I have (not sure that all are Intj) don't like children.I want to explore this phenomenon.
I like children - with ketchup.

[PortInStorm]

@Logos- we'll just have to agree to disagree. This whole forum is based on the assumption that although everyone is human, we have baseline commonalities, then group differences, then an individual mix ontop of that. You probably think child-bearing is one of the baseline commonalities, I do not (I would agree that it's more like the drive to have sex). And since all the supporting evidence to the contrary (all of the childfree's emotions, and even those who don't desire sex which is the prelude, of course) would not convince you that as we don't display a desire for it, parenting is not our nature/instinct, I'll leave it as a disagreement.

@ Colette- that distinction makes sense to me. The dislike vs HATE of kids. And that's true, I didn't like being considered an inconvenience (by my dad, not my mom) myself as a kid, and that's some of the reason why I question whether or not to have kids of my own that I might resent.

[Danisty]

I do understand your nature as a fellow lifeform, mammal, and human. I experience it first hand. All of the convoluted notions in the world cannot change your nature.So your position is that we're all alike? That seems kind of silly.

How do you know? Have you ever given birth? The fact that you exist indicates to me that every single female in your ancestry cared for and fed their offspring.No it doesn't. The fact that I'm here does not prove that all of my ancestors were good parents. It proves only that they managed not to kill all their offspring. I don't have to give birth to know that I don't want to.

The fact is that I could watch you give birth and toss your child in a garbage can or outright murder it and I would still think it was in your nature to be a mother. I'd rationalize your actions as the result of some sort of mental problem.I find this offensive, actually. Who are you to say you know what I want? You are basically saying it's a mental illness to not want children.

It's about turning the attitude around, and asking yourself, would I as a child have wanted adults around me either not to have wanted me to exist, or to regard me as annoying, irritating, and stupid? I feel sure that most people (even the diehard child 'haters') would answer this question in the negative, if they could hop in a time capsule and fly back 15 odd years..That's irrelevant though. I'm not around children and I do everything I can to stay away from them. They don't have to feel unwanted. Besides, even as a child, I didn't like children.

The other point I'd make is this. I think there's a big difference between the position of not wanting kids (which is a perfectly reasonable stance to take), and the position of just hating all kids (which to me, seems vaguely irrational, and possibly indicative of more deep seated issues than simply not wanting children). I understand the first position, but do not really understand (or agree) with the second.I don't "hate all kids." I met one kid I liked, but that's because she wasn't like most children. I tolerate them when I can't avoid being around them. I don't treat them poorly. That doesn't mean I like them.

[Colette]

That's irrelevant though. I'm not around children and I do everything I can to stay away from them. They don't have to feel unwanted. Besides, even as a child, I didn't like children

You related better to adults, as a child? And now, do you find it sort of difficult to slip out of 'adult' mode, and act from your 'inner child'? i.e. clowning around and being silly, at times - maybe not doing the 'sensible' thing? Just curious Danisty - it is certainly not my agenda to label you odd or dysfunctional, or anything like that :)

I don't "hate all kids." I met one kid I liked, but that's because she wasn't like most children. I tolerate them when I can't avoid being around them. I don't treat them poorly. That doesn't mean I like them.

I'm just interested in your use of the word 'like' here. See IMO, it's not really possible to 'like' or 'dislike' someone until you have a degree of knowledge/familiarity of them. Prior to that, what you are 'disliking' is an idea, or concept, that the person represents. This is why I'm trying to unpack your views, a little, to try and find out why it is exactly that you have an aversion.

[logos]

So your position is that we're all alike? That seems kind of silly.

We share the same core instincts as other mammals, yes. I find it "kind of silly" that you find this so hard to swallow.

No it doesn't. The fact that I'm here does not prove that all of my ancestors were good parents. It proves only that they managed not to kill all their offspring. I don't have to give birth to know that I don't want to.

Yes, it does. Perhaps you need to redefine what "good parenting" is. I'm not talking about social constructs. I'm talking about feeding babies and protecting them from harm which is something far more integral than what society now calls "good parenting".

Oh, and I never said you wanted to have kids. I said it's in your nature to be a mother. And yes, before you can reasonably argue that it is not in your nature to be a mother (as I originally defined and continue to define and feed/protect your offspring, NOT someone who desires pregnancy/birth as you seem to think) you need to have some sort of evidence.

I find this offensive, actually. Who are you to say you know what I want? You are basically saying it's a mental illness to not want children.

Again. I never said or implied I that I know what you want. I'm saying I understand the nature of mammals which includes you as far as i can tell. A mammal that gives birth but does not provide food/protection for its offspring has something wrong with it.

[stasis]

We share the same core instincts as other mammals, yes.
And what are those, pray tell (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)? Both sexual interaction and child-rearing are learned behaviours in mammals. They aren't instinctual. Unsocialized mammals will do things like chew the faces off of their own offspring without any conception of what they're supposed to be "instinctively" doing.

[Colette]

Both sexual interaction and child-rearing are learned behaviours in mammals. They aren't instinctual.

You think sexual interaction in mammals is learned and not instinctual? Hmm...ok ;)

[stasis]

You think sexual interaction in mammals is learned and not instinctual? Hmm...ok ;)
Seems to be an empirical conclusion, given the research (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.). You can go ahead and google this if you like. I don't claim to be an expert.

[Colette]

Seems to be an empirical conclusion, given the research (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.). You can go ahead and google this if you like. I don't claim to be an expert.

I don't doubt that you're right, I suppose I'm just surprised. Does this article (I just read the abstract) argue that the sex drive is learned, rather than iinstinctual, or is it talking about sexual orientation and specific behaviors?

[MintNut]

I remember saying when I was 12 that I'd never have children and, of course, adults would laugh that away and tell me I'd change my mind. From a very early age I just *knew,* instinctually, that I'd never be a mother to anything other than pets. I don't hate children, but they do drain my energy/patience and I just don't find them cute or amusing. My anti-children feelings were very harsh when I was in my early 20s, but age has softened me a bit - I still don't want kids of my own, but I have a better tolerance for them and can appreciate their innocence.

[dobbin]

No, I don't like children and I will never have any of my own. I just don't see the point of human children and the consequences that would entail anymore.

[Danisty]

You related better to adults, as a child? And now, do you find it sort of difficult to slip out of 'adult' mode, and act from your 'inner child'? i.e. clowning around and being silly, at times - maybe not doing the 'sensible' thing? Just curious Danisty - it is certainly not my agenda to label you odd or dysfunctional, or anything like that :)Yes, I've always related better to adults. I wouldn't say I have any problems clowning around and being silly. In fact, many of the things I'm interested in seem immature to some other adults (anime, roleplaying, comics, video games, etc.) It's not that kids are creative or spontaneous or silly that irritates me. It's that they don't actually make any sense doing any of those things. There is very little that a child says or does that I can interpret in any kind of meaningful way.

I'm just interested in your use of the word 'like' here. See IMO, it's not really possible to 'like' or 'dislike' someone until you have a degree of knowledge/familiarity of them. Prior to that, what you are 'disliking' is an idea, or concept, that the person represents. This is why I'm trying to unpack your views, a little, to try and find out why it is exactly that you have an aversion.I have a knowledge and familiarity of children as a whole and I don't like them. I'm not sure why that is hard to understand. How many children should I have to spend time around to decide I don't like their company? In 29 years, my opinion hasn't changed.

[Uytuun]

I always said that I hated children and didn't want any of my own, however, I recently found out that I only dislike a certain kind of child. I suppose that these will go on to be E types or ES types later on. IN (S?) children are great. I feel an immediate bond with them and they are curiously fascinated by me. They play quietly, live in their fantasy world, have quick minds and and still do endearing things. In short I like kids that are like me when I was one.

Whether I want any of my own...I'm afraid that I would be very disappointed if my child turned out to be completely average...and that's not something you want to do to a child.

[Colette]

Yes, I've always related better to adults. I wouldn't say I have any problems clowning around and being silly. In fact, many of the things I'm interested in seem immature to some other adults (anime, roleplaying, comics, video games, etc.) It's not that kids are creative or spontaneous or silly that irritates me. It's that they don't actually make any sense doing any of those things. There is very little that a child says or does that I can interpret in any kind of meaningful way

Hmm, I'm not sure why you would want to try and interpret something 'meaningfully' in a child. Perhaps you are trying to treat them like an adult, or expecting some level of comprehension or knowledge they are not yet capable of achieving. Whatever, as you say, this is your life and decisions, no-one else's.

I have a knowledge and familiarity of children as a whole and I don't like them. I'm not sure why that is hard to understand. How many children should I have to spend time around to decide I don't like their company? In 29 years, my opinion hasn't changed.

Hmm, OK. I'm not sure I agree with the bolded part of your statement - I would suspect that you regard kids fairly much as like fleas under a microscope; to be studied, analyzed, 'dealt with', but not really to be enjoyed or interacted with on their own level. That's your cross to bear my dear - I don't understand or share it, but I respect your right to have it :)

[Danisty]

Hmm, I'm not sure why you would want to try and interpret something 'meaningfully' in a child. Perhaps you are trying to treat them like an adult, or expecting some level of comprehension or knowledge they are not yet capable of achieving. Whatever, as you say, this is your life and decisions, no-one else's.I want something meaningful in all of my interactions. Since it's not possible, I don't like interacting with children. I've never expected children to be anything other than children. I'm just explaining why I don't like them. As you say, they aren't adults. That's pretty much my point.

Hmm, OK. I'm not sure I agree with the bolded part of your statement - I would suspect that you regard kids fairly much as like fleas under a microscope; to be studied, analyzed, 'dealt with', but not really to be enjoyed or interacted with on their own level. That's your cross to bear my dear - I don't understand or share it, but I respect your right to have it :)No, I don't even regard them that much. I try to just avoid them. I don't enjoy interacting with them on their own level. It's just not something I have fun with. It's not any burden on me so, I don't need any sympathy. I'm perfectly happy not liking children.

[Wapiti]

I enjoy kids, I am one myself. I have 2 girls. 2 kids is enough for me, though. I don't think I could take anymore, they require alot of work and maintenance. My sister has 5 kids and I dread spending more than a couple hours at a time at her house.

[Richard0612]

Although I'm just a teenager, I've already decided that I don't really care that much for kids especially 'tweenagers', and definitely don't want any of my own! Reasons?

Expensive.
Lots of work/stress [finding good schools, making sure that they don't turn into chavs, etc.]
Although this may seem closed-minded, if my child turned out to be an ESFJ/ESTJ, I don't think that we would have anything in common, and I would have trouble relating to them.Other people's kids aren't so much of a problem, but if they are being stupid/disruptive and the parent(s) aren't doing anything about it, that is really annoying!