Concentration of traits

[bookwormuk]

As a child I had what could only be described as facial tourettes, you could read exactly what I thought by the look on my face - most of the time this was negative much to the embarrassment of my parents ;) Later on I managed to hide this, probably at the same time I discovered how to disguise my introversion.

Over the last 5 years or so I have suffered from chronic pain and I realised with an increase of pain, my INTJ traits have been sharpened, having high expectations of myself, increased introversion, perfectionism to the extreme etc as well as revealing a little too much of what is going on in my head by my facial expressions. It is almost as if my internal checks and balances to be a 'socialised INTJ' have been ripped away by coping with pain.

After indulging in a bit of navel gazing, I realise that I need to try and tone down some of these traits because I am probably going to evolve into this extreme version of an INTJ. Although the idea of locking myself away from the world sounds great, it probably isn't the best idea ;)

So, has anyone tried to do this or has any suggestions?

[ElstonGunn]

After indulging in a bit of navel gazing

You discovered where your belly-button is? (Sorry, I can never resist making a lame joke.)

As for your actual question, here... Is there a certain part of your INTJness that worries you? Too introverted, for example? Or too unemotional? Unable to connect with most people? Arrogance?

It might help to have something specific to focus on. It could be a specific trait that you're trying to tone down, or a specific ideal of what you'd prefer to be like. In my own experience, trying to half-ass a change doesn't work too well. It either has to happen naturally (null-assed), or I have to decide exactly what it is that I want to change, and then work towards that (full-assed).

[bookwormuk]

That is interesting, I suppose there are two things. The first is my introversion, which has naturally increased as every base instinct in my body is telling me to hole myself up to cope with the pain. The other, which probably also effects the people closest to me, is perfectionism and having high standards - handbag psychology says that this is probably because I want to micromanage the things I have control over.
It is interesting to see how a chronic illness and resulting stress can make things flip out like this :)

[vaguely dissatisfied]

Listen...........you need to be who you are. Don't let them get you. You're going to get an ulcer or psychological problems or some other debilitating condition. You can't fight who you are. Learn to accept yourself and shape your world to fit your needs. If there are people around you who can't accept your INTJness, then you need to keep those people at arms length. Find people who admire you, like you, look up to you, can tolerate you.....whatever. Surround yourself with people and things that lift you up and not with those who crush your spirit.

I'm O.K.......your O.K.

[Uytuun]

First of all, I hope your illness is and will remain at least bearable.

Secondly, what helps for me is to be around EXXP people. My brother is ESTP (quite well-developped F too), it's good to be around him and to allow myself to be drawn into his crazy world from time to time. I'm also prone to extreme perfectionism and being around him helps me to put things into perspective.

I agree with vaguely that you should accept yourself (which I think you do, judging from your post), but it sounds as if you feel your INTJ-ness is becoming destructive.

[bookwormuk]

Thanks, I have always loved being an INTJ, especially when I discovered that I wasn't a freak and that there were other people out there like me, but now I am getting hints from my family that my perfectionism is starting to have an effect on those around me. Unfortunately the illness has its ups and downs and this is happening on a downward trend so everything is a bit tricky at the moment.