Do you hold on to gifts or mementos?

[SereCompostela]

Hi INTJs,

Just wondering: Do you hold on to gifts (or momentums) that were given to you by someone important to you, someone you really cared about, and/or someone you were very fond of (liked a lot)? And, do you hold on to them (whatever they may be) for sentimental reasons? Do those items mean a great deal to you?

As an INFP, I would hold on to objects or momentums because of their sentimental values or memories. I guess, an example could be such as: if my crush gave me something, I'd keep it very close to me emotionally and place it in a place where I'd be able to see it all the time; if my parents gave me something that were sentimental to me, I'd hold on to it and keep it for dear life, etc etc.

What's the INTJ take on this?

[Akzis]

Seems like a result of tertiary/inferior Si on your part. I don't see INTJs doing this much. Maybe I'm wrong.

[HoldingPattern]

I generally don't hold on to mementos. If there's a powerful memory or sentiment associated with an object, then it usually transcends the object. As such, the object, unless it carries value distinct from its emotional association, becomes little more than clutter. The memory or emotion, on the other hand, lives on with or without the object.

I would think this attitude is typical of an INTJ. To us, generally speaking, ideas are more important than tangible details.

[Lycurgus]

Not often, no.

[temi]

I don't really put much sentimental value in objects. Memories are good enough for me. The emotion isn't linked to something tangible that can be put upon a shelf. It's just a thing if it's merely sitting there.

I do hold onto them out of guilt sometimes though... like it would be rude to throw it away. Typically the stuff ends up in a box shoved in the attic or a closet. Sometimes when I'm cleaning, I'll find an item or two, smile for a second, and shove it right back where it was.

I can only think of one sentimental object I care about keeping and having out. It's a porcelain doll that my mother made for my grandmother, and my grandmother recently gave to me. The generational story behind it and the fact that my grandmother held it so sentimentally for herself gives it a bit more value in my mind. But in thinking through the things in my house... no, there's nothing else.

[LolaTootsie]

I don't generally place sentimental/emotional value on objects, but there are some exceptions (such as family heirlooms). It's awkward when people give me useless tchotchkes that I know will be in the donation pile or trash within the year.

I absolutely hate clutter and excessive trinkets. Faking a socially acceptable level of enthusiasm upon receipt of such gifts goes against my grain...and ultimately leads to more trinkets since I appear to like them! :irked:

[Warrior]

Not really. I have two items that have sentimental value - my wedding ring and the pin that held my flower on my suit at my grandmother's funeral. Other than those things, I haven't kept anything else for sentimental reasons.

[SereCompostela]

I can only think of one sentimental object I care about keeping and having out. It's a porcelain doll that my mother made for my grandmother, and my grandmother recently gave to me. The generational story behind it and the fact that my grandmother held it so sentimentally for herself gives it a bit more value in my mind. But in thinking through the things in my house... no, there's nothing else.

That's interesting! And, thanks for sharing! :)

It led me to think about something else - which brings me to ask:
(the following question can be for those who have not answered yet/already too!)

Would it make a difference if said object (or "Whatever obejct") were handcrafted, hand-made, and/or especially made just for you?

[Rationality]

I keep sentimental things if they're small enough. Primarily I keep jewelry. My mother gave me her jewelry before she died. It's not valuable and just a few things, but I wanted it anyway as a keepsake. I also kept a ring I wore as a little girl (which still fits on my pinky because I have little hands) and any other jewelry that was given as a gift.

It wouldn't matter if it was a handmade gift, practicality of toting it around with me as I move is the main factor.

[Anima Mundi]

Material objects mean a great deal to me, and I'm far more appreciative of things that are given as gifts rather than things I had to work for. I usually keep things, but I may sell/donate if I find it's just taking up space and is not being used.

[Geise]

I don't really put much sentimental value in objects. Memories are good enough for me. The emotion isn't linked to something tangible that can be put upon a shelf. It's just a thing if it's merely sitting there.

I do hold onto them out of guilt sometimes though... like it would be rude to throw it away. Typically the stuff ends up in a box shoved in the attic or a closet. Sometimes when I'm cleaning, I'll find an item or two, smile for a second, and shove it right back where it was.

I can only think of one sentimental object I care about keeping and having out. It's a porcelain doll that my mother made for my grandmother, and my grandmother recently gave to me. The generational story behind it and the fact that my grandmother held it so sentimentally for herself gives it a bit more value in my mind. But in thinking through the things in my house... no, there's nothing else.

I'm very much the same way. Infact, all of the objects I keep out of guilt end up in a unified pile in my closet. They all have an "expiration date" for when I feel it's ok to discard them. I've even once considered labeling their dates with tags... I think it has something to do with my need for efficiency and purpose with my possesions; very spartan, very miserly, very sterile :)

[Ilara]

When I keep something, I keep it because I like/love it, not because it's 'for me' or because it 'holds memories' (my brain does that for me...).

There are some things that have been given to me that I value highly, but not because they were given to me--I value them in and of themselves, rather than as gifts. Quite a number of them are handmade, but there's a great deal of talent in the family and most of them are the product of my father's work (like, his actual method of making a living, not 'labour', although he put plenty of that in, too). The point is, I don't keep things purely for memory unless I'm worried that I might forget--which I often do, as my memory is quite awful. But I only have one little thing that I'm keeping which has no other purpose than serving as a reminder to me; I was worried that, because it was so small, I might potentially forget about it, and I didn't want to. But I'm not remembering it for me, I'm working to remember it for somebody else's sake. If that makes any sense.

[cheerbear]

Not an INTJ, but I don't generally hold onto mementos/keepsakes often, although I do love pictures for memories. I like making photo albums and/or scrapbooks and will fill them with other objects such as ticket stubs or something to help round out the memory.

The things I find I get most sentimental over are when the person is no longer in my life, such as the death of a loved one.

With regard to something that is hand-crafted/made especially for me, I would be very touched, but I'm also a pretty practical person so hopefully it isn't just something "nice to look at". Receiving gifts is my last love language, quality time my first, so I'd much prefer someone planning a nice day just for us...with lots of pictures :nice:

[plushbug]

If I keep a gift for sentimental reasons, it will likely be someone else's sentimental reasons. That's to say, either it's a family artifact that other members of the family are interested in, that I know I will be held accountable for preserving until such time as it is passed on to the next person, or it's a gift from someone who is still living, who I know will expect to see me reverently preserving it as a momento of them, and experience my disposing of it as some form of rejection of them or the relationship. Basically I have to care for the giver enough to go through the motions in the interests of keeping them happy.

If that sort of motivation isn't in play, the gift / momento is going to have to be genuinely useful to me, at least be appealing or amusing to me, and fit in a reasonable way in the space I'm prepared to give to such things.

Handcrafted for me means nothing, if it doesn't make sense for me.

[khadi]

I value these things in what they remind me of.

I started a private blog/archive once where I posted pictures of mementos along and a few details about them. The idea being that I could get rid of the actual objects, while giving myself a way to access the memories associated with them, when I so desire.

Though I do keep all hand written letters.

[Ceres]

I do keep small items that have a memory attached, mainly because having the physical object there makes it easier to place the memory. Once I've seen the object though my brain easily runs through the associated images and emotions.

I might try khadi's approach though. Then i could toss away a couple of shoeboxes of clutter.

[sircockburn]

No, they bore me and I don't see a point. Unless, of course, I actually *like* the gift/memento, and I can use it.

I remember as a kid whenever I cleaned my room, I'd throw out all my old finger paintings, stuffed animals from when I was a kid, etc. (Obviously, I didn't clean it very frequently). It made my ESFJ mother tremble and tear up every time I chucked something like a useless snowglobe in the bin (that I got when I was 3 years old and sat on a Santa lap at the mall), or when I shoved my grandmother's gifts of kitten-doll things in a black trash bag to donate to Goodwill.

I don't even care about pictures that much, except to remember what people look like, or unless I was travelling at a really amazing place.

[doppelganger]

I don't like to stockpile useless things, so if something doesn't serve a purpose, I either sell it or give it away.

Last summer, I was cleaning out my attic and came across my journal and awards from elementary school. Most people would cherish these, but seeing my ignorance and naive-ity (if that's even a word) only irritated me. After flipping through my journal for a few minutes, I tossed everything away.

The same goes for things from ex-girlfriends. We've gone our separate ways a long time ago; most are married, some even have kids. Part of moving on is putting the past behind me if it doesn't work out, so I end up getting rid of everything that reminds me of it.

[runoverazebra]

I keep many things that have sentimental value to me. My house is littered in things from my travels because of what they remind me of. Most of these things are not actually gifts, but that doesn't decrease their worth to me. I have a few things that I have inherited from my family, but, for the most part, I am not interested in family heirlooms. They may have had significance previously, but when I don't even know who the original owner was, they are devalued in my eyes.

[Cygnus]

Hi INTJs,

Just wondering: Do you hold on to gifts (or momentums) that were given to you by someone important to you, someone you really cared about, and/or someone you were very fond of (liked a lot)? And, do you hold on to them (whatever they may be) for sentimental reasons? Do those items mean a great deal to you?

As an INFP, I would hold on to objects or momentums because of their sentimental values or memories. I guess, an example could be such as: if my crush gave me something, I'd keep it very close to me emotionally and place it in a place where I'd be able to see it all the time; if my parents gave me something that were sentimental to me, I'd hold on to it and keep it for dear life, etc etc.

What's the INTJ take on this?

I do if the person means a lot to me and the gift is especially thoughtful and shows the person cares and understands me. These things are rare though since they are symbolic of a mutual understanding, caring, and connection.

My mother had a simple gold ankh made which I wear on a single gold rope chain. I never take it off unless I fear it can be lost or damaged. I have had it over 20 years.

I also have a large assortment of knick-knacks I will not part with. I have a nice assortment and they are all gifts, I buy very little for myself.

...like dragon and fantasy creature figurines, trinket boxes, candle holders, lamps and the like, replicate martial weapons, next on my list is a replica Normandy SR2 when and if one is made.

[brdmadgrl82]

Nope, not really sentimental. I keep things that I like and I don't have a problem throwing something out/donating if it is taking up space. There are only a couple of family things that I kept that were given to me by my grandfather who was a soldier in wwII in europe...oh, and photographs of family- of friendships that have come and gone no.

[SuperSmart101]

Not very often, no.

[Eye on Earth]

Hi INTJs,

Just wondering: Do you hold on to gifts (or momentums) that were given to you by someone important to you, someone you really cared about, and/or someone you were very fond of (liked a lot)? And, do you hold on to them (whatever they may be) for sentimental reasons? Do those items mean a great deal to you?

As an INFP, I would hold on to objects or momentums because of their sentimental values or memories. I guess, an example could be such as: if my crush gave me something, I'd keep it very close to me emotionally and place it in a place where I'd be able to see it all the time; if my parents gave me something that were sentimental to me, I'd hold on to it and keep it for dear life, etc etc.

What's the INTJ take on this?

Yes, I hold on to things others give me, especially if the item carries a deep emotional meaning to me. However, I do discern between the object and the meaning of the object. I tend to keep those items that carry a lot of emotional value in a safe, private place. Those objects that carry less emotional value tend to end up publically displayed in my home. I guess I figure I hold that which is most valuable to me on an emotional level the same way I carry and protect my Ni. Priceless works of art (love letters, pictures of family and friends) get a strong safe, and gifts of fancy (a box of chocolate, common trinkets) get the living room table for a short time. I don't need to see the object to remember the emotional attachment--it's just there, seen or unseen. That said, when the people who gave the special gift visit, I make it a ceremony to bring the object out so we can all enjoy it again. To me, this makes the bond even stronger.

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[MassHysteria]

Sometimes I find myself holding on to silly little things for no good reason, but not for fear of losing them. More for fear of missing them once they're gone. Every few months or so I have an extensive cleaning binge and usually toss out the crap I don't need, and if one of those sentimental objects happens to be among them, I rarely miss it.