INTJ's are unemotional?

[Fej]

I've seen posts by various people in this forum saying that INTJ's have no or very little emotions. I am an INTJ and I believe this is not the case with me. I can get very emotional at times. However, what I often do is hide my emotions and keep them to myself.

So is it true that INTJ's do not feel emotions, because if it is like that then the INTJ is a pretty screwed up type imo lol.

[Moriarty]

You've already answered the question, basically. Emotions are something the INTJ tends to keep on the inside, or they manifest them in ways that seem peculiar to others.

[AgentofGaming]

No, you'd most likely have emotions unless you're a robot, it's just that INTJs don't let their emotions affect them. We make our decisions with reason and not emotion.

That said, emotions are inside, most probably suppress, decompose and discard the emotions. It rarely emerges into the real world; that's why INTJs can appear emotionless.

[ceg6]

Not true. I keep much inside until I feel comfortable and in control of it enough to express it in the way I choose. Rationally. I don't think that it's common and probably even less common in women.

[thod]

To understand how something works you take the position of a detached observer. This means having no preference (emotion) for any outcome over another. Dismissing a result because you don't like it (emotion) is an error. The universe does not care and it will happen like that anyway. Once the system is understood, then you seek to position yourself or manipulate variables to obtain a desired (emotion) result.

Its more that emotions are repressed out of habit, to obtain objectivity, than a total absence.

[TheLastMohican]

I think emotions are not necessarily detrimental to rational thought. Most emotions cloud logic, overwhelming to some extent your thinking process. But some emotions are solidly based in logic, and therefore support reason. They simply add emphasis to your decisions.

The tricky part is trying to sort out which are which when you are under the influence of them.

[The Rose]

I've seen posts by various people in this forum saying that INTJ's have no or very little emotions. I am an INTJ and I believe this is not the case with me. I can get very emotional at times. However, what I often do is hide my emotions and keep them to myself.

So is it true that INTJ's do not feel emotions, because if it is like that then the INTJ is a pretty screwed up type imo lol.I am usually out of touch with my feelings, but if I get provoked I will express them - usually more than I should.

[notoppings]

In my experience emotions can and have become a sign of weakness so I've learned to internalize them but that doesn't mean that I don't have them I only display them when appropriate. I believe it is a kind defense mechanism that has helped me cope with a larger group of society that prey on others for sport.

[Iveyrockstar]

I think INTJ's have an even greater capacity to be affected by emotions because of the complex nature of our thought processes. When you can understand on a deeper level exactly what is going on in the world around you, it is more difficult to live life in general without being depressed, discouraged, or generally feeling separated from society. INTJ's just have more practice than others (disorders aside...) at putting those emotions away and keeping a straight face. Being perceived as emotionless or as cold is just one of the many factors that tends to exaggerate the distance between the worlds perception of us and the people we really are inside our minds. Imagine knowing that there was going to be some sort of global disaster from which there was no escape and everyone and everything you have ever loved was going to be destroyed within 12 months. How would your actions from that point until the disaster happened be perceived by the outside world? Eccentric? Strange? Depressed? Introverted? Oblivious? Full of life? Living for the moment? I think the nature of the INTJ is that he is able to experience the full gamut of emotions and as a result the way he is perceived will be based on his choice of whether or not to react to a given one. If he never reacts and is constantly in the "processing" mode, he will probably be perceived as "Introverted", quiet, perplexed, etc. until the disaster comes... Life for an INTJ is full of small-scale "Global Disaster's" or problems/injustices that are not "Fixable". This is why I dont often feel the need to explain my line of thinking to anyone. So in short: Screw what other people think of us, unless there is some calculable benefit in having them think a certain way about us. My response to the average person who say's that I seem "emotionally disconnected" is: You couldn't possibly understand what goes through my mind...

[Antares]

I've seen posts by various people in this forum saying that INTJ's have no or very little emotions. I am an INTJ and I believe this is not the case with me. I can get very emotional at times. However, what I often do is hide my emotions and keep them to myself.

So is it true that INTJ's do not feel emotions, because if it is like that then the INTJ is a pretty screwed up type imo lol.

We do feel emotions; it's a natural thing, but we have... better self control? And less need to express it? I do notice though, that I feel less emotions than others would ("How can you say that? That's SO insensitive!" "I don't see anything wrong with it"). Some people, arguably more of the feeler types, just can't accept that I don't feel as much as they do on most issues. They always want to speak for me "Actually, she wants this. She feels this, but she's too insecure to express it" :irked:

[Haphazard]

I am extremely emotional and sensitive at times... as shown by the breakdown about having the Holocaust crammed down my throat week after week when I was in third grade. I ended up breaking down pretty badly, and nobody could understand why.

Most of the times my feelings are so vague and alien that I don't pay much attention to them. When they are strong, they're hard to ignore. Mostly, though, I just don't know what to do with them, so I pay them no mind. It's intensity that needs to be channelled elsewhere. The only emotion that I really feel very strongly about at any given time is frustration, and that I know clearly and very well.

[Santana28]

I am very emotionally aware, and my feelings are sincere and very deep. But i choose not to allow my emotions to dictate my behavior. I can rationally assign my emotions a particular value depending on the circumstances and make logical, unemotional decisions based on than information... but i never act purely based on the way i "feel" at any particular moment. Emotions are dictated by so many different factors, it would be highly irrational and detrimental to just believe every single emotion that crosses my mind.

One problem i have to deal with however, is my tendency to downplay or rationalize away NEGATIVE emotions. This is a very helpful coping method (and growing up in an abusive family i honed this skill pretty well) - BUT - it also leads me to ignore or marginalize things which i should NOT put up with in the first place. Just because you *can* ignore something, does not always mean you *should.*

[Over]

Emotions are for weak.

[Danneh]

I'm insanely emotional, just not emotional when it comes to my opinions.
'One death is a tragedy, a million is a statistic' I chose rationality over my own emotions often. It's control to me, as I can literally sit there and go from crying my eyes out(Last time I did that was.... Oh god... Truly? When I was about six and my hamster died. Faking it however, I did just yesterday for theater) to emotionless in less that a few seconds. All I have to is remember that emotions are a figment of my own mind. They are mine to control.

Like with Santana though, it does have it's faults. I do this with pain too, I knocked my knee cap out a good 3 inches, and laughed. Pain has become figurative, something I know mentally I can make go away. Since I did that, I went about a week without fixing the problem, and now 9 months later, have had to have surgery. If nothing else though, the nurses loved me, because I never complained, and always had a distant smile on, or was reading.

Holocaust.. -shivers- They made us do a segment on it every year since I was in middle school, however, I no longer have to attend them ^^'. I bit through my bottom lip in 7th grade, because they kept going on and on.

So no, Fej, we have emotions, very deep emotions, we just don't let them show too often, and when we do... It's normally not good.

[Haphazard]

I tend to emotionally manipulate myself to my advantage to get what I need done, done. I'm not good at emotionally manipulating others, though. When this control slips, though, it's generally awful for anyone involved.

[TheLastMohican]

We do feel emotions; it's a natural thing, but we have... better self control? And less need to express it? I do notice though, that I feel less emotions than others would ("How can you say that? That's SO insensitive!" "I don't see anything wrong with it"). Some people, arguably more of the feeler types, just can't accept that I don't feel as much as they do on most issues. They always want to speak for me "Actually, she wants this. She feels this, but she's too insecure to express it" :irked:

That irritates me enormously, especially when the person saying it manages to convince the other people as well. They call you a liar, and make it impossible for you to prove your honesty, because you cannot prove to others that you are being truthful about what's in your own head. Whoever accuses first, with or without evidence, wins. :irked:

[SeaCzar]

I concur with most of the stuff I have read on this thread. I keep my emotions in check. To me, it does not make sense to do otherwise. My (ex) wife and I were coming back from vacation at the beach one year. We passed a terrible accident. She was in tears and could not understand why I was not upset. Aside from the thought that I was thankful it was not us, it did not bother me. These things happen all the time. Its part of life. I think the emotional types are what really drive society though. Have you ever watched to local news? Shootings, rapes, car accidents, fires. How the qualifies as "news" is beyond me.

[Haphazard]

I concur with most of the stuff I have read on this thread. I keep my emotions in check. To me, it does not make sense to do otherwise. My (ex) wife and I were coming back from vacation at the beach one year. We passed a terrible accident. She was in tears and could not understand why I was not upset. Aside from the thought that I was thankful it was not us, it did not bother me. These things happen all the time. Its part of life. I think the emotional types are what really drive society though. Have you ever watched to local news? Shootings, rapes, car accidents, fires. How the qualifies as "news" is beyond me.

I don't understand the bombardment of negative news on people either. All it does is succeed in some cases giving people what they want, as in attention, and gives some people weight to the fact that the world is getting worse, even though there's no evidence behind it.

It's not that so many people are emotional bothers me, what bothers me is the sensationalization of the news to emotionally manipulate people. I understand it gets ratings, but it's obnoxious and succeeds in making people stupider.

[Storm]

Well, maybe I'm not that strong of an INTJ (although I almost always test as it) because I feel emotions very strongly. For instance, when viewing cheesey movies or reading books, I tend to cry easily. BUT emotions and subjective reasoning factors very little into my thought process when making a decision.

[Serket]

I have to agree with a lot of the opinions here. I certainly have emotions and I tend to cry during tragic scenes in films/books. Though I deliberately seek out those books/films in order to feel those strong emotions. I do admit to thinking that showing emotion is weak and so try to avoid it in public, and feel utterly humiliated when i fail to show the necessary restraint. Also many people misinterpret my calm facade as arrogance or seething anger, when usually it is more disinterest or me thinking about something else.

[Max T]

Yes- I am acutely aware of my emotions and seek to control them before they control future actions.
Somewhat paradoxically, this probably leads us to being more attuned than most to our personal emotional ('though not necessarily to others emotions).

Picking up on SeaCzar and Haphazard re. local news, our behaviour is compared with our surroundings. And since society consists more of E and F than I and T types and media only reflects what society wants (to gain ratings), we find ourselves in an increasingly hyper-emotional world.

So our emotional suppression appears even more noticeable when compared with mass media (which everyone else in turn adopts).

[pinkroger]

I can get very emotional as well, and never let that get in the way of reason, or show through to any unreasonable extent (yes, ESFP's, I am talking to you).The only emotion that can override reason is anger, because it brings with it many chemicals that are rare in an INTJ's brain. I also suppress my emotions, but very inwardly, so when they do come out, they are very strong.

[Haphazard]

Well, I think the fact that INTJs appear emotionally surpressed when they act normally, and when they actually do get emotional, it's usually expressed in a very unhealthy way, we're often pegged as the psychotic types. And that... well, that's awful. My school thinks that I'm a nutcase because whenever I'm weakest, I'm always sent to deal with the administration, who have no idea how to handle me. I've been called absolutely inconsolable when I'm upset, and in a way that's true -- what calms me down has to come from within, so pretty much anything anybody else says is pointless.

[Danneh]

Well, I think the fact that INTJs appear emotionally surpressed when they act normally, and when they actually do get emotional, it's usually expressed in a very unhealthy way, we're often pegged as the psychotic types. And that... well, that's awful. My school thinks that I'm a nutcase because whenever I'm weakest, I'm always sent to deal with the administration, who have no idea how to handle me. I've been called absolutely inconsolable when I'm upset, and in a way that's true -- what calms me down has to come from within, so pretty much anything anybody else says is pointless.

Welcome to the school system, Sweetie.

Except, I get sent down about twice a month, because a teacher is worried about me, or I've been doing something weird. Any number of reasons actually... The only reason I don't mind, is well, it's school. I don't learn in school, so why should I care.

I am a nutcase however, and rather proud of it. *hums I'm a Nut*

[Koanashi]

I personally tend to feel emotions very intensely, but usually control them or just ignore them entirely. There are situations where I am comfortable expressing myself emotionally in a positive way, but only when I'm around people I trust to a certain degree. My control tends to slip, unfortunately, when I get stressed or very depressed, which is when I'm at my emotionally worst, and then it tends to explode. I'm cursed with very active tear glands, and cry very easily, which I find humiliating, and it makes things very awkward.

On one occasion I was on a lot of pressure from too much school work, lack of decent sleep, having just joined a new school etc., and for some reason the topic of conversation turned to bullying. I started to recount one incident now almost ten years ago, starting out very cool and calm. By the end of it I was twitching and crying a little... I got a little overwhelmed, and really wasn't expecting that. Unfortunately, I was surrounded by feelers. Who wanted me to 'let it all out'. And thought it was unhealthy for me to 'suppress my emotions'. I actually felt fine 5 seconds after tearing up, but noooo.... later that day I disappeared to have a nap, because I was stressed and tired. They spent an hour hunting me down, thinking I was angry with them and was avoiding them. Okay, I was kinda annoyed that they wouldn't listen to me earlier, but I disappear all the time!

Emotions are such a troublesome thing at times.

[Santana28]

Welcome to the school system, Sweetie.

Except, I get sent down about twice a month, because a teacher is worried about me, or I've been doing something weird. Any number of reasons actually... The only reason I don't mind, is well, it's school. I don't learn in school, so why should I care.

I am a nutcase however, and rather proud of it. *hums I'm a Nut*

haha... i actually skated by the school system without much of a problem. as long as i stayed away from "bad" crowds and got "good" grades - they didn't care in the least what kind of personal problems i had. of course, drawing little pictures of guns and nooses and scrawling "i want to dieeeeeeeeee" at the top of all of my assignments did finally manage to spur one teacher into asking my friends if i was "suicidal." They replied "of course not!" and that was the last of it. LOL. Little did they know... (mwoohahaha evil laugh)

[nittmurugan]

We are as emotional as any others. Even animals have and show emotions and we are not different. We try to rationalize our emotions and turn them into constructive or destructive ways rather than showing emotions as it is which is useless to anyone including us. Sometimes I do show emotions openly honestly without hiding. Many a times in life I have wept and cried. And I do show all sort of negative emotions openly including anger and jealousy. But most of the time I hide these feelings well behind my faces. Only at situations I can't control myself I'll show it.

[Minerva]

I am extremely emotional and sensitive at times... as shown by the breakdown about having the Holocaust crammed down my throat week after week when I was in third grade. I ended up breaking down pretty badly, and nobody could understand why.

Most of the times my feelings are so vague and alien that I don't pay much attention to them. When they are strong, they're hard to ignore. Mostly, though, I just don't know what to do with them, so I pay them no mind. It's intensity that needs to be channelled elsewhere. The only emotion that I really feel very strongly about at any given time is frustration, and that I know clearly and very well.

Maybe you shouldn't ignore them until they become too much for you. Maybe you should practice dealing with them. In this way you will become better prepared to handle emotions.





Minerva added to this post, 3 minutes and 39 seconds later...

That irritates me enormously, especially when the person saying it manages to convince the other people as well. They call you a liar, and make it impossible for you to prove your honesty, because you cannot prove to others that you are being truthful about what's in your own head. Whoever accuses first, with or without evidence, wins. :irked:

People should really read more psychology and stop judging a book by its cover.

[Danneh]

haha... i actually skated by the school system without much of a problem. as long as i stayed away from "bad" crowds and got "good" grades - they didn't care in the least what kind of personal problems i had. of course, drawing little pictures of guns and nooses and scrawling "i want to dieeeeeeeeee" at the top of all of my assignments did finally manage to spur one teacher into asking my friends if i was "suicidal." They replied "of course not!" and that was the last of it. LOL. Little did they know... (mwoohahaha evil laugh)

Lmao. My commentary's are more along the lines of-

"I finished this 30 minutes ago. We started 35 minutes ago. .... I finished this an hour ago... Why is it taking Joe so long. *insert long descriptive ways for Joe to go kill himself"

Though I do draw a lot of nooses, and broken hearts and guns ^^ I don't think that perturbed them as much as my in depth explanation on how someone can debowel themselves.

[TheLastMohican]

Lmao. My commentary's are more along the lines of-

"I finished this 30 minutes ago. We started 35 minutes ago. .... I finished this an hour ago... Why is it taking Joe so long. *insert long descriptive ways for Joe to go kill himself"

Though I do draw a lot of nooses, and broken hearts and guns ^^ I don't think that perturbed them as much as my in depth explanation on how someone can debowel themselves.

Oh, do give us the details. :)

[Santana28]

Lmao. My commentary's are more along the lines of-

"I finished this 30 minutes ago. We started 35 minutes ago. .... I finished this an hour ago... Why is it taking Joe so long. *insert long descriptive ways for Joe to go kill himself"

Though I do draw a lot of nooses, and broken hearts and guns ^^ I don't think that perturbed them as much as my in depth explanation on how someone can debowel themselves.

well... you have to consider that i graduated in the summer of '99... in an american high school... after Columbine happened in April of that year, i'm very glad i graduated in June because i'm certain my innocent scribbles would have started turning more heads than they did...

[curiousjane]

The INTJs I know have very sincere emotions.

I think of my mother, in particular. She's capable of both rational decision making and heartfelt empathy. She's not mushy-gushy, though. Doesn't even like being kissed by my father in front of other family members. But I see the shy glint in her eyes, even after all these years of marriage ... she's definitely in love.

[errrzarrr]

I am pretty much the same about emotions.

[thod]

I wonder how many people here really are INTJ. I noticed on another board posters saying how this board is full of non INTJ people miscategorised. Touchy-Feely empathizing INTJs concerned about morality, whatever next.

[nyshygirl71]

I can only speak for myself and having said that I think I am too emotional. Not too long ago I would wear my emotions on my sleeves. Everyone knew when I was having a bad day. However as of late I have been surprisingly able to hide my emotions. Where people would be able to ruffle my feathers easily as a way to make themselves feel better I no longer (not too often anyway) give into this. Funny thing is as a result I have been able to not let too many things bother me whereas before everything was cause for a tantrum.

Now here is the contradiction. Although I have been very emotional when it came to my own issues, I have tended to be too detached to the needs of others to the point where I have been accused of being cold. Go figure.

[errrzarrr]

I wonder how many people here really are INTJ. I noticed on another board posters saying how this board is full of non INTJ people miscategorised. Touchy-Feely empathizing INTJs concerned about morality, whatever next.

uh? why?

[Santana28]

I wonder how many people here really are INTJ. I noticed on another board posters saying how this board is full of non INTJ people miscategorised. Touchy-Feely empathizing INTJs concerned about morality, whatever next.

INTJ does not = Sociopath

... we just share a lot of the traits!

[Haphazard]

Maybe you shouldn't ignore them until they become too much for you. Maybe you should practice dealing with them. In this way you will become better prepared to handle emotions.

And how would one go about doing this? Why do this? It would serve no purpose. My negative emotions, I'm sure, are things that nobody would want to see anyway. These people don't want to see my emotions, and I don't want to show them. The arrangement, as it is, is the best I can think of.

[malefide]

I don't tend to feel really strong emotions very often. When I do I either a. intellectualize them because this is a coping habit that I have and/or b. fail to express them in any way that would be recognizable to most other people.

So of course I have emotions. I just deal with them in certain ways that make it unapparent that I'm feeling anything.

[Follow]

I don't think I've felt emotion in years until recently. By years, I mean around 20 or so years. I've felt drawn and attracted to people, I've felt admiration I suppose, sometimes accomplishment, and overall a generally positive outlook. I haven't felt love in those years, until recently, or fear, or even hate. I don't know if that means only the strong ones were generally not there, but even when people insulted me or tried to anger me, it never happened. Nothing ever "gets me down" or makes me feel less capable of doing another task.

Maybe the question is whether or not INTJs let their emotions rule them. I think we are just better at working through them or ignoring them altogether to the point that they're background noise at best.

[kovsky]

Emotions? I don't think INTJ's are unemotional.

True that many INTJs suppress their emotions and avoid showing it. But, in my case, my emotions are somehow automatically "shut off" when around people, it happened because of the pressure mounted from the presence of others.

As a first response to events, we INTJs prefer to think logically than feel. Think of a scenario such as an airplance crash or a car accident. Most feelers tend to feel hurt and feel sorry for those who are injured. But INTJs will ask how did it happen in the first place, try to find a sequence of events that caused a particular incident that led to this accident. Then feel sorry (for a couple of seconds?).

I'm a person who can only feel or be in touch with my emotions in solitude, but I can ignore it if I want to and start thinking about other things that matters. I wonder if this also apply to other INTJs as well?

[Sylvanus]

I wonder how many people here really are INTJ. I noticed on another board posters saying how this board is full of non INTJ people miscategorised. Touchy-Feely empathizing INTJs concerned about morality, whatever next.

I think perhaps this thread happened to attract a lot of INTJ's that do happen to show their emotions more than others (I noticed a lot of females posting). Many may have lower T's than the average INTJ. Also, because we suck at feeling, when we do express it we do so in ways that aren't considered 'normal'.

I am very unemotional. I do feel them every now and again, but they usually don't express themselves very strongly. I am virtually immune to anger, I don't ever recall being angry in my entire life. I have a strong T, and rarely have to worry about emotions affecting my decisions.

[Ryokurin]

When I was younger I was considered 'sensitive' by by family probably because in most cases I wanted to be left alone when something happened and they just thought it was weird. I also admit that I canceled what little emotions I showed due to being teased often in school. I try to be a bit more active in emotions now but I tend to do too much (think howard dean) My strategy as of late is just not to care about any of it at all. You either get me, or you simply dont.

[Riz]

Hide the emotions.

[Minerva]

And how would one go about doing this? Why do this? It would serve no purpose. My negative emotions, I'm sure, are things that nobody would want to see anyway. These people don't want to see my emotions, and I don't want to show them. The arrangement, as it is, is the best I can think of.

How about keeping a journal? What I mean by this is that you can record what invokes certain emotions within you. Then with a record, you can go back and look at it and analyze it. What happened to me on this particular day? Why did I have this particular emotional reaction to this certain stimulus/stimuli? And then try to look back over your life and see if these reactions could have been caused by something that happened to you before.

If you can "see" the root of the reaction and connect it to your emotions you experience now, then maybe the next time the stimulus/stimuli come round, you would be better equip to handle the emotions that come along with it/them.

[Nightelf]

I do have very strong and deep emotions, which do not affect decision making process and somehow distant. They require a lot of self-analysis to identify understand them, which makes life pretty hard... the fact it seems I can't produce the appropriate emotional response expected in certain situations makes some believe I don't care for them, I'm indifferent, cold etc. which, again, hurts me and causes suffering.

[Ryokurin]

A journal is a good idea, at least to get out of your head about things. Its been very helpful to prevent me from going inside my head when meeting people or new events, as I can just defer it to later. That or meditation, but that will probably take the average INTJ some work to do as you need to clear your mind.

[Fej]

Emotions? I don't think INTJ's are unemotional.

True that many INTJs suppress their emotions and avoid showing it. But, in my case, my emotions are somehow automatically "shut off" when around people, it happened because of the pressure mounted from the presence of others.

As a first response to events, we INTJs prefer to think logically than feel. Think of a scenario such as an airplance crash or a car accident. Most feelers tend to feel hurt and feel sorry for those who are injured. But INTJs will ask how did it happen in the first place, try to find a sequence of events that caused a particular incident that led to this accident. Then feel sorry (for a couple of seconds?).

I'm a person who can only feel or be in touch with my emotions in solitude, but I can ignore it if I want to and start thinking about other things that matters. I wonder if this also apply to other INTJs as well?

All that you said here applies to me 100%

[Trym]

My normal face is quite strict and grim-looking, although I don't intend to. Some people eves ask why, or comment about it. For me it's my normal face, and I don't mean anything about it. I don't smile if I have no reason to.
Exept form that, I have no problems with laughing, if I concider it funny.
My feelings of love and such, they are my own, and to day I have found NONE to share them with...

[Provoker]

I can't speak for others, but I do consider myself a quintessential INTJ. My situation is as follows. I do not know from experience what it means to have a pang of conscience. I've read about the so-called prick of conscience in books, seen it in movies, and heard about it from people in conversation but I myself have no experience of such things. My ethical system is derived from the intellect alone: My moral compass is reason.

I do have emotions but they are not clearly defined. When I began working for a company and had excelled I was asked if I was happy working for the company by my bosses boss. I drew a blank. Months later (it was a seasonal job) I was asked again if I was happy at the company and again was intellectually bankrupt. The manager said that that was my exact response 4 months ago. In contrast, when asked by the manager how the company could be more effecient I had a litany of things the company could do to improve its productivity. Yet when asked the happy question twice (at the start of term and end) which involved an emotional component I was intellectually paralyzed and just looked at her for 10 seconds scanning for an answer. That was when she said this was my response 4 months earlier. I thought about this long and hard and came to a few conclusions. First, the manager was trying to extract a feeling out of me and I don't think in those terms. Moreover, I did not know whether I was happy or not neither leaped out as definitive. To the feeler who, to a great extent, thinks in these terms (happy v unhappy) it is unthinkable that I could be neither happy or said. Nor do I think these blanket concepts are really applicable in the workplace.

To be sure, I do have emotions but they are extremely complex, twisted and muddled and are not clearly defined or identifiable. For a long time I unlearned how to have fun and enjoy myself - everything was work. But I want to change this and I've increased my extroversion a few notches to help do this.

[Sylvanus]

@Provoker
A few years back, over the phone my mom asked if I was 'happy'. At the exact moment I was neutral, neither happy or unhappy. However I realized that the question she was really asking (the implied question) was: "Are you content with where your life so far has lead you?" My answer was 'yes', in that of all the major decisions I have made, some of the outcomes were not what I had wanted, but as a whole, for the hand I was dealt, I was content with where I was in life.

[DeafEars]

I'm very emotional, and sensitive as well... but I have lots and lots of defense mechanism that would shutdown emotion when triggered.

[Merle]

I consider myself to be a fairly emotional person, I feel things deeply but I very, very rarely express those feelings outwards - which of course leads to people perceiving me as 'cold', 'distant' etc.
Someone was talking earlier about the media, and I think this is where my real problem lies - I tend to see outward displays of emotion and the kind of emotionality on show in the media as false emotion, it's manipulative and geared towards eliciting an emotional reaction from me that I just don't feel and it really irritates me. I think a lot of people do this too and I don't understand how they think I'm going to be taken in by it - I know what I feel, you're not going to convince me I feel something else just by trying to manipulate me.

[bluenote]

I’ve been called things like cold, callous, robotic, heartless and just plain unemotional. I don’t cry at funerals and what’s even stranger for a woman I don’t open up about my feelings or share my inner emotions but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel things very deeply. I don’t think INTJs are unemotional we just compartmentalize very well and of course have problems expressing emotions. In fact hell for an INTJ is displaying emotions such as grief in a very public setting which would probably be no big deal for feelers.

[raconteur213]

I’ve been called things like cold, callous, robotic, heartless and just plain unemotional. I don’t cry at funerals and what’s even stranger for a woman I don’t open up about my feelings or share my inner emotions but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel things very deeply. I don’t think INTJs are unemotional we just compartmentalize very well and of course have problems expressing emotions. In fact hell for an INTJ is displaying emotions such as grief in a very public setting which would probably be no big deal for feelers.

Very well put!

I understand and appreciate my emotions. I see emotions, the same way I see sunsets, brilliant colors, gorgeous landscapes, etc. I am one with my own emotions and I try to understand the emotions of others. I just don't "show my cards".

To me, emotions usually reveal honesty. It is this elusive honesty that most people try to keep within themself; however, it seems that INTJs are best at this. When people are emotional, they cease the game playing and chess playing. As the "puppetmaster", it never behooves an INTJ to tip his/her hand.

As a writer, I place a high value on emotions and the understanding of them. I have never felt comfortable expressing them though.

[sriv]

Genius post raconteur. Emotions usually reveal honesty but because everyone thinks they are honest, it is easier to trick someone with fake emotion. I look at emotion somewhat cynically.

[suzyk]

I feel emotions. Every human does, to some extent. I get strong emotions, and small ones a lot of times, but I control them when I'm in public. At home, I act as loud as I want to be, I act like a floozie. If only I could do that with strangers... I'd be a fun person. I cry and laugh when I read books. At home. Sometimes I can't control my emotions and I'll have some really bad mood swings.

[lordrrr]

I can have the emotion of frustration affect me, as things will just TICK me off where I can no longer stand it. IDK things don't affect me much until something just comes along and I can't deal with it anymore so I just blow up and it leaves people to thinking "Um, dude, it's not a big deal".

[sriv]

I feel emotions. Every human does, to some extent. I get strong emotions, and small ones a lot of times, but I control them when I'm in public. At home, I act as loud as I want to be, I act like a floozie. If only I could do that with strangers... I'd be a fun person. I cry and laugh when I read books. At home. Sometimes I can't control my emotions and I'll have some really bad mood swings.

I am also much more emotional at home than at school because I am more comfortable with my family and they have the obligation of keeping me. The only difference in my story is that I do not remember the last time I cried and I laugh in public all the time.

[suzyk]

I am also much more emotional at home than at school because I am more comfortable with my family and they have the obligation of keeping me. The only difference in my story is that I do not remember the last time I cried and I laugh in public all the time.

I think I almost cried when I was reading a sad part in a book at school last week. It was really touching, but also depressing. And truthful. But nobody in my school can make me cry, I think I've only cried out of sadness when my friends dumped me in the 3rd grade. I laugh in public (at funny things/things that are considered funny and people would laugh at them), only so people won't think I'm weird.

[sriv]

I think I almost cried when I was reading a sad part in a book at school last week. It was really touching, but also depressing. And truthful. But nobody in my school can make me cry, I think I've only cried out of sadness when my friends dumped me in the 3rd grade. I laugh in public (at funny things/things that are considered funny and people would laugh at them), only so people won't think I'm weird.

I cannot think of anything that would make me cry. Maybe I had too much exposure to the world, or I have had too little.

[suzyk]

I can think of a million depressing things that could make me cry at this minute, but I have a happy song stuck in my head.

[sriv]

Good job developing the F. I should start trying.

[jimmywallaby]

I feel emotions quite frequently I just try to keep them private from others. In a way I feel that showing too much emotion can be sort of a weakness in some situations, especially in public causing most people to make the assumption that I either don't care or are just indifferent about everything. I would assume that a lot of INTJs could be like this.

[searcher]

Sure we have emotions. We just keep them to ourselves.
I know a couple of INTJ's who can confess that they don't share problems and feelings because it is (to them) like giving people part of their brain. I'm one of them.

[EsoteriEccentri]

It's interesting, because as an INFP I either seem to have too much emotion in me to control or to be completely void of emotion. Dead and empty and detached. That might be true of all INFPs. Or just me ;_;

You've probably heard an INFP say that they are "Drowning in Fi" before...
And despite all these emotions INFPs manage to maintain a relatively calm exterior ^^

But I hate to show emotions >< Especially in public. I don't think disliking to show emotions is a T thing at all.

Like someone said; "I know a couple of INTJ's who can confess that they don't share problems and feelings because it is (to them) like giving people part of their brain. I'm one of them."

Only I see it as giving people a way to intrude upon my soul. And I see that as a far greater violation of privacy than giving away a part of your brain. But then maybe that's because I'm a feeling type...

I always found the subject of INTJs and emotions interesting. Perhaps because most of my favourite book characters are the anti-hero, narcissistic, bitter INTJs. xD

[darkkodiak]

I for one don't agree in my part that I'm unemotional, only to those who I don't consider worthy enough to see that side of me.

[selimut]

i dont think we're unemotional..it's just that intjs are less expressive than most people.

[True Rune]

I don't have an interesting response, I fit the INTJ stereotype on emotions. I'm not particularly emotional, but when they do come I can hold them in, and release them later through weapons practice unless I just get shot through (Like seeing my sister when she found out she was cheated on.) and have to run away because I can feel em coming.

[xtremegeek]

I don't have an interesting response, I fit the INTJ stereotype on emotions. I'm not particularly emotional, but when they do come I can hold them in, and release them later through weapons practice unless I just get shot through (Like seeing my sister when she found out she was cheated on.) and have to run away because I can feel em coming.

That's interesting. You run away when you feel the emotions coming. Do you compartmentalize the emotions, or do you physically remove yourself from the situation? If you wouldn't mind, define it for me.

[Antares]

That irritates me enormously, especially when the person saying it manages to convince the other people as well. They call you a liar, and make it impossible for you to prove your honesty, because you cannot prove to others that you are being truthful about what's in your own head. Whoever accuses first, with or without evidence, wins. :irked:

Well, because some people's emotional range is like a roller coaster, they assume everyone is like that. My English teacher made a very good analogy yesterday about Romeo. Some people are like a roller coaster, high's and low's all over the place. Some people are more or less a straight line. I think INTJs are on the straighter end (and I think mine's getting a little too straight, what with my near SPD tendencies)

[True Rune]

That's interesting. You run away when you feel the emotions coming. Do you compartmentalize the emotions, or do you physically remove yourself from the situation? If you wouldn't mind, define it for me.

The latter. It's very rare and doesn't last very long. But it happens.

[xtremegeek]

The latter. It's very rare and doesn't last very long. But it happens.

Interesting. What would happen if someone didn't let you run away? What if you were forced to stay put and let the emotion out?

[True Rune]

I don't know. It's never happened before. I imagine I'd try to hold it in, though who knows how it'd work out. I don't imagine that ever happening given it all comes from the inside, not outside.

[TheLastMohican]

Well, because some people's emotional range is like a roller coaster, they assume everyone is like that. My English teacher made a very good analogy yesterday about Romeo. Some people are like a roller coaster, high's and low's all over the place. Some people are more or less a straight line.

Yes, I know that. The problem is that so many people are on roller coasters that you can be disadvantaged when you are not one of them. These people can be bosses and upper management, with a lot of power, and they have such a poor understanding of more stable people when they are feeling emotional.

I think INTJs are on the straighter end (and I think mine's getting a little too straight, what with my near SPD tendencies)

SPD tendencies? As in Schizoid Personality Disorder?

If that's what you mean, I guess I'd better look for it too. Actually I just read about it, and frankly, I don't see why it's a bad thing.

Am I just that far gone? :scared:

[Big Grizzle]

I don't think we are un-emotional at all.

Emotions are just not what we base our decisions on. We possess an uncanny ability to rationalise everything. I find a lot of people tend to attach emotions to things that I don't or wouldn't. For example having a favourite colour is something I am not capable of.

Colour is defined by the wavelength of light. I see it as a part of a much larger system involving space, matter and time. Attaching an emotional attachment to red say seems silly.

On the flip side one time a friend of mine made me watch Passion Of The Christ. He is not religious and I am definitely not religious, but I found that film to be very disturbing. I wanted to break into the film and save Jesus. It made my eyes water.

Maybe that was just a time where I was being more INFJ than INTJ. After all, it was just a film, it was not real. I knew this now and I knew it then. I am also not a Christian so there was no level of religious programming skewing my view.

Anyway INTJs definitely have emotions. They are just not at the surface.

[Merendino]

That irritates me enormously, especially when the person saying it manages to convince the other people as well. They call you a liar, and make it impossible for you to prove your honesty, because you cannot prove to others that you are being truthful about what's in your own head. Whoever accuses first, with or without evidence, wins. :irked:

OMG I thought that was just a personal thing. I HATE it when people speak to me or to others as if they know something about me that I do not. I spend my entire life inside my own head damn it. I know me better than ANYONE. And for someone to just spout something off about me they believe to be true EVEN if it is, is almost always erroneous because they don't understand the context with which I am the way that I am.

[Agile]

OMG I thought that was just a personal thing. I HATE it when people speak to me or to others as if they know something about me that I do not. I spend my entire life inside my own head damn it. I know me better than ANYONE. And for someone to just spout something off about me they believe to be true EVEN if it is, is almost always erroneous because they don't understand the context with which I am the way that I am.

On a personal level, I agree with you. I grew up with this sort of bullshit. But when relating to others, I let their actions convince me of their beliefs, rather than what they say (as they claim to know themselves).

I generally do not trust much of what people say (depending on context) whether it is personal or about somebody else. Differences in interpretation of what something means, cause enough confusion before you add to that the problem of a person's reputation with themseelves and their need to protect it.

[catd]

No. I experience intense emotions and I am, what would probably be considered hyper sensitive but I have been told many times that I'm "stoic". People hardly never know how I really feel. Very few people "get" me.

[toots]

They can be emotional, but can also subjigate quiet easily.

L

[foroneonly]

I feel emotions just as strongly as the anyone else. I simply don't express them publicly.
I've always felt there are appropriate places to do that and places like work and school don't typically qualify for me. I also don't tend to get emotionally involved with others people's problems. I have empathy for them but not necessarily sympathy.

[inactiveoffense]

I can't speak from anyone else's perspective...but from my perspective I truly feel emotions. I am just a private person and only the people who are really close to me who I can trust will only see my emotions. I will not show my vulnerability very easily because there are too many people out there who would take advantage of my vulnerability. I may be untrusting, but that is how I protect myself.

[gogurtdynasty]

i feel all the emotions i should

the main difference i see is we don't tend to allow emotions to have a hold on us... we hold them and use them for our desired purpous

[Rockandrollrox]

I don't mean to insult INTJ's in general, but the one i know personally (my brother) comes across as someone with the compassion of a rock, and i do respect him, and as an ISFP i crave other people's support and approval, but support and approval are rare things to receive from him. To a few other types i know, specifically and ISFJ, an ENFP, and an ESTJ, he seems outwardly to be a blunt, emotionless, analytical robot. We know he has emotions, but due to the scarcity of times when he expresses them, I specifically treat him as though he has no emotions. When asked if that hurts his feelings, he said it didn't hurt his feelings, but it just annoys him. Seeing as most of you are INTJ's, would you be annoyed or hurt if an emotional person treated you as though you had no emotions?

[Terian]

Rockandrollrox, INTJs feel emotions oftentimes just as clearly and strongly as any other MBTI type. We feel emotions differently, perhaps, but that doesn't mean we don't feel.
Now, as an emotional person (by that I mean someone that feels emotion), would you feel annoyed or hurt if someone treated you as if you didn't have emotion? Now, don't get me wrong- I'd get annoyed if someone started treating me as if I were governed by my emotions. It'd make me feel uncomfortable, to be honest; claustrophobic, in a sense. I don't want people to ask me how I feel. To me, that's private, and you will probably get a dodgy answer.

But that's beside the point- my advice is to consider the fact that he is an inwardly emotional person. Treating him like he is emotionless is like treating him like a toaster. It's frustrating to not be respected as a human being.

And yes, I realize that I might not have adequately answered the question, but I don't often think of my emotions so it's difficult to put to words.

[sriv]

I don't mean to insult INTJ's in general, but the one i know personally (my brother) comes across as someone with the compassion of a rock, and i do respect him, and as an ISFP i crave other people's support and approval, but support and approval are rare things to receive from him. To a few other types i know, specifically and ISFJ, an ENFP, and an ESTJ, he seems outwardly to be a blunt, emotionless, analytical robot. We know he has emotions, but due to the scarcity of times when he expresses them, I specifically treat him as though he has no emotions. When asked if that hurts his feelings, he said it didn't hurt his feelings, but it just annoys him. Seeing as most of you are INTJ's, would you be annoyed or hurt if an emotional person treated you as though you had no emotions?

I do not mind being treated as emotionless. It doesn't bother me, but it does not make me feel good.

The less support and approval you recieve from him, the more precious they are when you do get them. Supply and demand principles.

[Arouet]

My assumption is that the Myers-Briggs designation suggests only a basic orientation. I know three INTJ women, for example, whom I regard as quite emotional (read: irrational in some of their reactions, but somehow oblivious to this fact. I should point out, however, that they test T over F by fewer than six points--to me, a toss-up.).

It would interesting in this regard (though hardly PC) to determine any signifcant corollation between expressed INTJ emotion and gender or sexual orientation. My guess is that birth order might play a significant role, as well. Are most INTJ's "firstborns"? How many are "only children"? (The latter might explain to some extent the slow social development.)

I think it's fair to say that, at least to most others, INTJ's often seem to "suffer" from low affect and might even come off at times as automatons. You don't really find many INTJ's doubled over in laughter.

I'm describing friends and colleagues, but I would have to say that they might be the most innately arrogant and most easily annoyed of all the types; they seem to have very little patience with most people (except for certain women).

It's the ENTJ's who are on the real Power Trip, though, at least in my experience--though the ENTP is not very far behind.

--Whereas INT's prefer to work alone--and to be left alone.

[Solaris]

My assumption is that the Myers-Briggs designation suggests only a basic orientation. I know three INTJ women, for example, whom I regard as quite emotional (read: irrational in some of their reactions, but somehow oblivious to this fact. I should point out, however, that they test T over F by fewer than six points--to me, a toss-up.).

Do you know them, or just work with them? Examples?

It would interesting in this regard (though hardly PC) to determine any signifcant corollation between expressed INTJ emotion and gender or sexual orientation. My guess is that birth order might play a significant role, as well. Are most INTJ's "firstborns"? How many are "only children"? (The latter might explain to some extent the slow social development.)

Search the forum, there are threads and polls about birth order. I've known several INTJs, and the ones I've known are mostly eldest siblings.

I think it's fair to say that, at least to most others, INTJ's often seem to "suffer" from low affect and might even come off at times as automatons. You don't really find many INTJ's doubled over in laughter.

You don't really know an INTJ then. I have had several very close INTJ friends, and they are indeed doubled-over in laughter. They don't do this at work, or in the general public too often. They relax and open up with those they trust and respect. Try getting to know some better.

I'm describing friends and colleagues, but I would have to say that they might be the most innately arrogant and most easily annoyed of all the types; they seem to have very little patience with most people (except for certain women).

I think an ESFP being asked several questions could give an INTJ a run for his money on the "most easily annoyed" front. What do you mean by "except for certain women?"

It's the ENTJ's who are on the real Power Trip, though, at least in my experience--though the ENTP is not very far behind.

--Whereas INT's prefer to work alone--and to be left alone.

Finger-pointing and baseless accusations don't go over well. Back it up, or back it off.

[Frag]

Unemotional? Strong disagree.

I do not think based on type alone you can directly compare "strength" of functions between individuals, in particular, not the tertiary/inferior functions.

But I digress - in general INTJs are *percieved* as less emotional because:
a) They do not express it out in public. Introverted feeling is generally hidden to most people, except perhaps the close circle that one is (somewhat) open with.
b) They tend not to actively (consciously) feel. It is not in the dominant/auxiliary duo that is seen active as part of the ego.

Introverted feeling literally means: its on the inside.

Just because you cannot see it, does not mean it is not there.

[catd]

I don't mean to insult INTJ's in general, but the one i know personally (my brother) comes across as someone with the compassion of a rock, and i do respect him, and as an ISFP i crave other people's support and approval,



Then treat him with some respect.


We know he has emotions, but due to the scarcity of times when he expresses them, I specifically treat him as though he has no emotions.

Well that just seems rude. You "know" he has emotions but you choose to ignore that and treat him otherwise because he isn't meeting your needs for support and approval? What about his needs???



I am probably taking this way too personally - it's the same type of problem I have with my siblings. It's really irritating. I have to change the way I am and be what THEY need but they can't take the compromise anything for me.




Search the forum, there are threads and polls about birth order. I've known several INTJs, and the ones I've known are mostly eldest siblings.


I am the eldest.


I think it's fair to say that, at least to most others, INTJ's often seem to "suffer" from low affect and might even come off at times as automatons. You don't really find many INTJ's doubled over in laughter.

I have been doubled over in laughter but it has to be something really funny. More often than not, I will simply think that something is funny rather than laugh.

[cRyPT]

I am somewhat emotional, but I keep them to myself. The strongest emotion I outwardly express is humor, but I restrain myself in public thus why people think I have the emotional range of a rock.

There is a female INTJ that goes to my school and she hides her emotions very well. I have only seen her smile or laugh if she is with friends she is comfortable with.

Search the forum, there are threads and polls about birth order. I've known several INTJs, and the ones I've known are mostly eldest siblings.

In my family I am the youngest sibling.