Do Asians have social lives? (Let's keep it nice)

[Wolfie]

Personally, if you live in Korea and you are a good little korean child, you have no time for a social life.

[mind_wander]

Well, yes and no to this comment. But, it depends on where you live. For me, as an Asian dude from the US, I do talk to the people who is in my class or some of my neighbors, old friends, etc. Due to the fact that school kinda is the wall barrier, most of the people who know me understands I am in college. Its something, you kinda can and can't play around with. I am a friendly INTJ, not everyone understands my views, if you join my team, then definitely will see the world alittle differently than most common teams anyone has been in, people do come to me for questions, their concerns, shell out their secrets, emotions etc. or all the above. I remembered one time online, I'd gained so many e-people online wanted to know more about me because my way of thinking is so diverse and unique. I am definitely, an introvert, but still can flex some of my extrovert sides.

Next person....

[OneBadMother]

Sure. I know a lot of social Asian people. I'm not a complete hermit either, with my Magic: The Gathering and DnD and Anime Club nights and Gaming Club nights and valuable interaction with my INTJ friend. And that's just offline. :P

[mind_wander]

Sure. I know a lot of social Asian people. I'm not a complete hermit either, with my Magic: The Gathering and DnD and Anime Club nights and Gaming Club nights and valuable interaction with my INTJ friend. And that's just offline. :P
Wow, you bring back old memories: Magic: the gathering was so cool. Well, if you can create the ultimate nice combo deck and beat someone into submission :thumbsup: Of course, thats offline. I hadn't play that for some time now, every set is turned into TYPE I edition.

[OneBadMother]

My INTJ friend always has awesome combo decks. The best thing is when he doesn't even realize that he has three of them in his deck. Though, it tends to make everyone else gang up on him in multiplayer, while I quietly build up and build up until I burn and flyer the remaining people to death. <_<

[mind_wander]

My INTJ friend always has awesome combo decks. The best thing is when he doesn't even realize that he has three of them in his deck. Though, it tends to make everyone else gang up on him in multiplayer, while I quietly build up and build up until I burn and flyer the remaining people to death. <_<
The old divine and conquer, see having an INTJ isn't all that bad. Because you know my strategy and I know your strategy. Hey, you can send indirect stares at each other telepathically and still win. No wonder, they call INTJ's masterminds.

I am not good at building decks, just like playing them; need to use your head alot, especially when you are competitive.

[thegnat]

Personally, if you live in Korea and you are a good little korean child, you have no time for a social life.

hahahaha

Only they don't have time for a social life?

What about caucasian american women who play tennis and study chemistry?

[vulcan]

way to stereotype

don't be retarded.

[Raven Queen]

HAHAHA I'm from Singapore and I have absolutely no life at all, let alone a social life. ;D

[ShaiGar]

HAHAHA I'm from Singapore and I have absolutely no life at all, let alone a social life. ;D
That's because you hate people, I know two singaporeans who DO have lives.

[thegnat]

HAHAHA I'm from Singapore and I have absolutely no life at all, let alone a social life. ;D
That's because you hate people, I know two singaporeans who DO have lives.

social lives are way overrated ;)

[Raven Queen]

HAHAHA I'm from Singapore and I have absolutely no life at all, let alone a social life. ;D
That's because you hate people, I know two singaporeans who DO have lives.

Meh. I don't hate people, I'm indifferent to them. *:)

A lot of people I know don't have lives too... In my school at least.

[fripping]

it's like any other racial group or country, they're just regular people and each one has their own unique preference. i have known many who have fit into both camps. maybe there is more societal pressure there to STUDY STUDY STUDY but plenty are still social butterflies anyway, sometimes at personal cost.

[mind_wander]

Personally, if you live in Korea and you are a good little korean child, you have no time for a social life.

hahahaha

Only they don't have time for a social life?

What about caucasian american women who play tennis and study chemistry?
lol, well thats just personal outdoor activites and course. Although, I do see causcasian American women play tennis, but that doesn't mean just caucasian American women, other ethnicities play it too. At the moment, I have no list.

[mind_wander]

it's like any other racial group or country, they're just regular people and each one has their own unique preference. i have known many who have fit into both camps. maybe there is more societal pressure there to STUDY STUDY STUDY but plenty are still social butterflies anyway, sometimes at personal cost.
Great point, yes inside out happy souls[not lonely souls], we do want to have a social life, but see here. Its either study or fail, but there is a loophole in this equation, there are people who can party day and night, still get a good grade. Too me, I like both, but its got to be one or the other. Although, anyone has their own way on getting good grades without cheating, but asking for help or outsourcing for help, hey "Whatever works for you." Sometimes you can't get things done, like you want, but there is always outsourcing it, lol. Always have a good sense of humor, people loves that, especially when people don't get you. Throw some "E's" and "I's" together and yeah, you got something harilous to say, if there is a "P" personality trait.

But, show your confidence and share it with others, because not everyone is confident the way you do it. It gives people great joy, man I wished I got some confidence in this course. Well, I got some confidence right here, "Do you want some of INTJ confidence." Before, you want some, "Please, try to do some of the following steps and its yours with some modifications." Remember you are kinda in charge here :)

[Wolfie]

way to stereotype

don't be retarded.

Haha. If you were talking about what I said, I was being a bit stereotypical. But, most Korean children(North and South) do have to study from the moment they get home to the time they fall asleep. The only time they have for a social life is at school, but here they have to learn, learn, and learn. It is very hard to get passed highschool. Many people in Korea commit suicide because their parents tell them to honor them with a good job and life, but they cannot compete with the insane competition that is in Korean schools.
By the way, I'm S. Korean.

[thegnat]

Personally, if you live in Korea and you are a good little korean child, you have no time for a social life.

hahahaha

Only they don't have time for a social life?

What about caucasian american women who play tennis and study chemistry?
lol, well thats just personal outdoor activites and course. Although, I do see causcasian American women play tennis, but that doesn't mean just caucasian American women, other ethnicities play it too. At the moment, I have no list.

oh of course - i was personalizing it so it couldn't be viewed as a stereotype/generalization. There aren't many people (weirdos?) out there like me. Maybe I should have added INTJ in that description so it *really* couldn't be generalized to a whole group of people haha.

[dayguard]

HAHAHA I'm from Singapore and I have absolutely no life at all, let alone a social life. ;D
Another Singaporean... cool! Wanna hang out with me? (So not myself)

[Rei]

I'm Asian... I have no real social life (on campus - I only ever spend time with people during classes/labs/club meetings/dinner with my roommate). I really have to be in the mood to ever go 'socialize' willingly.

But I think that's more related to the fact that I'm introverted than because I'm Asian/nerdy.
I know plenty of annoyingly social Asians...

[mind_wander]

way to stereotype

don't be retarded.

Haha. If you were talking about what I said, I was being a bit stereotypical. But, most Korean children(North and South) do have to study from the moment they get home to the time they fall asleep. The only time they have for a social life is at school, but here they have to learn, learn, and learn. It is very hard to get passed highschool. Many people in Korea commit suicide because their parents tell them to honor them with a good job and life, but they cannot compete with the insane competition that is in Korean schools.
By the way, I'm S. Korean.
Ok, cool. Yeah, maybe we kinda can help. Not sure, how far. Just on tight and you can make it through. The pressure your Asian parents wanted you to be better than them. The point why Asian parents is doing this is because they didn't get the full opportunity, but the competitiveness that you are much superior than them; gain much more opportunity to find better careers and etc. Not to be superior than talk smack to them, that is very disrespectful. All I know is that, whatever their doing is basically a double-edged sword; it can be positive and negative. The positive side, you are really intellegent(Apparently, you are INTJ), as for the negative, too much pressure can make you commit suicide. Look at that Virigina Tech Shooter, very isolated in the world and no one really understand him. The point is that, we all have our weaknesses and strengthens. Its up to you to figure it out, what are your strengths and weakness?

You are still young and exploring, as time goes you will slowly discover them. I guess, my advice is find something simple, like have you ever helped anyone in your life currently. When I mean helping someone, I mean someone suck at a certain subject and you don't mind helping. Not like sucking up to them, emergency cases. Please open only 1 door and closed it. If people found out that you actually do that, then you got a full line on your hands; only emergency cases in who you know or close too.

Discover what kinds of strengths and weaknesses that you have instilled in yourself. What I find that comparing to sports, I suck. But, in baseball I am really good at it. I've showed people who like basketball, that I can really play; so most people like to pick me on their team. Try a few sports for kicks in gym class. You do not have to be a pro at it, but show them that I actually can do it attitude. Kinda blending in, at the same time in hoping the next time your favorite sports is comes up, then dominant it. For example, one day in high school, the female/male gym course were joined as 1 playing softball. I can tell ya this, I am so proud of myself I know how to play baseball because all those basketball players and who is really great at it, sux in this sport. yeah, we lose to the girls, but not me heck no (I would be in shame).

As for strengths, each person is unique at any kind of skill, so it varies from person to person. I guess, strengths goes; listen to what the person has to say. Never try to fixed the problem, unless they are really in the emotional situation; give them comfort or some suggestions. Not like you opening up your heart to them; more like advice and tips. When someone is talking about their day, never fix it; that will end up into a verbal fist fight.

Be an observer and see how things are setup, in the room, who likes to talk to who, where is everything located, who are your true friends, etc. As times goes by, then you slowly realized that you have contributed something positively without knowing it. Are you really considered lonely? not really, more friends are around you, but far distances [INTJ need space routine], people comes to your advice more than other people's inputs [I don't know why, but it happens from time to time], yeah you do clean up the mess too, etc.

As you head off to few more years in High school, I would try to more used minimal saracism because people treat it, as more a threat than something its not. Also, most of your 4 yrs is kinda like learning about people's habits and stay under the radar. When, you head off too college, you should be more independent and find your own journey. But, you are very useful in teams or group projects because your mind is so unique to so many diverse ideas. Do not be afraid that all your projects are going to stand out from the others [Its an INTJ thing]. While, you are here, through in your thoughts from time to time. Others have been in your situation, so becare free. At all, aren't you the one who created this thread in the first place?

Ok, I am going to get my nice white tail off the soapbox............and go find a nice tree to stay in.

[deicruxified]

it's like any other racial group or country, they're just regular people and each one has their own unique preference. i have known many who have fit into both camps. maybe there is more societal pressure there to 1. STUDY STUDY STUDY but plenty are still social butterflies anyway, 2. sometimes at personal cost.
ditto

1. in our country, college degree is considered by the majority as dignity whereas in other western countries, finishing highschool is already enough. here for example, you can't get a decent job unless you graduated with a 4 year degree course or else settle yourself for a call center job. here, "educated" means "finishing college".

2. i do agree with this one. i do a lot of things: mountaineering, martial arts, diving ... just to name a few and i have to cut off my sleep just to enjoy life. i actually got a motto: people who sleep more than 3 hours are lazy and lonely hehehehe you can screw me for this one. i do pity some people i know who works their asses of for 2 jobs even studying for additional degrees for the sake of society's demands but then wastes their money on hospital bills in the long run because they lack exercise or just simply, fun. i don't want to end up like them so i do something to evade that fate.

[mind_wander]

So your saying, for me sleeping more than 3 hrs, means I am lazy :'( I need it recharged my energy, plus end up answering FAQ with personality types questions, deal with life, as it is, then go back doing school stuff, then somewhere along the lines, my alone time, etc.

[Wolfie]

Haha. It is pretty harsh to say that sleeping over three hours qualifies you as lazy... I can't function throughout the day w/out at least six hours. It still leaves me with eighteen hours of the day.
Back to social lives, a few of my cousins back in Korea(this is where I get my info and help mostly) are forced by their parents to study for school and work on a musical instrument to "Give honor to our family." Because of this, they really only get the years after school to find a girl, and get married.

So, maybe, I should have made my topic a bit more... Specific. Sadly, I can't change it now. It would cause a mess if I did anyways. But, from the ages 5-25 Getting a social life can be hard. Tell me about other countries. Is it this way in them also? I'm not talking about Singapore because, luckily, we already have some people talking about that.

[deicruxified]

So your saying, for me sleeping more than 3 hrs, means I am lazy *:'( I need it recharged my energy, plus end up answering FAQ with personality types questions, deal with life, as it is, then go back doing school stuff, then somewhere along the lines, my alone time, etc.
imfho, yes hehehehe

[thegnat]

Haha. It is pretty harsh to say that sleeping over three hours qualifies you as lazy... I can't function throughout the day w/out at least six hours. It still leaves me with eighteen hours of the day.
Back to social lives, a few of my cousins back in Korea(this is where I get my info and help mostly) are forced by their parents to study for school and work on a musical instrument to "Give honor to our family." Because of this, they really only get the years after school to find a girl, and get married.

So, maybe, I should have made my topic a bit more... Specific. Sadly, I can't change it now. It would cause a mess if I did anyways. But, from the ages 5-25 Getting a social life can be hard. Tell me about other countries. Is it this way in them also? I'm not talking about Singapore because, luckily, we already have some people talking about that.

The U.S.A.

The second you're born you know you're going to college. No if's, and's, or but's about it. Most likely you *will* go to college unless of course you can't afford it (though financial aid does help a lot) or you don't have the grades/really really struggled in high school because there will be a college that will accept you.

However pressure on you varies from family to family. Some people are first - generation students. And their families are just glad they want to go and don't care what they do as long as they are in college.

Others come from a line of smart, well educated people. With graduate degrees. And so it's expected you'll go to grad school in some very prestigious/smart field. This is kind of where I think I fit on my dad's side. I'm kind of the first type with mom/mom's side.

Others are second or third generation but they have parents with a less prestigious degree and are motivated to surpass the previous generation as the previous generation kind of expects them to.

Then of course you just have different students with their motivations no matter what societal/parental pressures are placed upon them.

I'd say society here generally expects a college degree.

[mind_wander]

Thanx, for your input thegnat. I think lastnights chatlog has rubbed off on ya.
Anyways, I think on my dad side is the Business Enterperneur's, where I get alot of the concepts, abstract thinking, and somewhat detailed oriented. As for my mom side, "Punctial and precise", mostly into maths, apparently I am not, but my mom side gives me the conceptual big picture skills. So does that makes me on how, I am INTJ today. Oh yeah, forgot to mention some of the tid bits, we are social friendly people too :) :thumbsup:

Thegnat,

That is very true, but my old ENTJ friend, who likes to reads and explores. Willing to take up college courses, but hates going into an College atmosphere because it does fit for him; extremely boring, we do joke around, well friend that is because your a natural born leader and not a follower. But, he is one smart cookie, maybe this is why some of my thinking is along side of ENTJ/INTJ combination. Try to get your point across, regardless of ethnicities.

[Wolfie]

Haha. Oh. I love the US. No hard work to get into a community college. Decently hard work to get into an ivy league school! WHEEE! There is plenty of time to get friends. Anyways, I meant Asian countries... its all good though.

[mind_wander]

Overseas are very competitive into getting in college or university. Bad grade, so guess what you will be doing, for the rest of your life; public service, crappy jobs, oh yeah more crappy jobs. By the time, you figured it out, oh boy wished I paid attention to school, lol.

[deicruxified]

Haha. It is pretty harsh to say that sleeping over three hours qualifies you as lazy... I can't function throughout the day w/out at least six hours. It still leaves me with eighteen hours of the day.
Back to social lives, a few of my cousins back in Korea(this is where I get my info and help mostly) are forced by their parents to study for school and work on a musical instrument to "Give honor to our family." Because of this, they really only get the years after school to find a girl, and get married.

on my side of the family we get to play music not only because to continue the strings of talent but because we enjoy it as well. my dad is a bit pushy and wants me to learn everything but not become a jack of all trades. i paint, i draw, i dive, i swim i hike, i got high ranks in both tae kwon do and aikido (i dropped tae kwon do and he's pissed off), i play guitar, i play drums, i play flute (a requirement in highschool), pushes me to get good grades in school (above average but i'm not the type of getting honors although i did once but i never enjoyed it because it doesn't make any sense), wants me to handle the family business and the list goes on... one time i asked my dad why is he doing all this to me when my sister is just "slacking off", he answered and i like what he said because it makes sense:

"...because when you were a kid you showed signs you could and i'm just pushing you hard to fulfill your destiny. i want to to become all and have all you want and be a master of them all. if you do, no one's going to mess around with you and the people who you will be with are those of the same level as you are. no one's going to contest with you."

so i was thinking before he was an infj but i think he's more of intj. he's very quiet and REALLY distant (comes home after 2 or 5 years due to his work overseas). but the need of attention seems to be an f? i don't know... but going back, it still boils to one idea which is family's pride.

[thegnat]

Haha. Oh. I love the US. No hard work to get into a community college. Decently hard work to get into an ivy league school! WHEEE! There is plenty of time to get friends. Anyways, I meant Asian countries... its all good though.

well you didn't specify when you said "other countries"(at least I don't believe if so then i'm wrong) so i put my input in.

mind_wander. I wasn't intending to specify ethnicity. Just general societal pressures/family pressures. Different ones exist. Of course it may depend on ethnicity, but it may not. ie, first generation, etc, that is independent of ethnicity. personal motivation is independent of ethnicity.

[mind_wander]

Haha. Oh. I love the US. No hard work to get into a community college. Decently hard work to get into an ivy league school! WHEEE! There is plenty of time to get friends. Anyways, I meant Asian countries... its all good though.

well you didn't specify when you said "other countries"(at least I don't believe if so then i'm wrong) so i put my input in.

mind_wander. *I wasn't intending to specify ethnicity. *Just general societal pressures/family pressures. *Different ones exist. *Of course it may depend on ethnicity, but it may not. *ie, first generation, etc, that is independent of ethnicity. *personal motivation is independent of ethnicity. *
Lol, your funny because I mentioned, regardless of ethnicities. Oh boy, but thanx for your clarification though. At least we are both the same page :thumbsup:

[mind_wander]

Haha. It is pretty harsh to say that sleeping over three hours qualifies you as lazy... I can't function throughout the day w/out at least six hours. It still leaves me with eighteen hours of the day.
Back to social lives, a few of my cousins back in Korea(this is where I get my info and help mostly) are forced by their parents to study for school and work on a musical instrument to "Give honor to our family." Because of this, they really only get the years after school to find a girl, and get married.

on my side of the family we get to play music not only because to continue the strings of talent but because we enjoy it as well. my dad is a bit pushy and wants me to learn everything but not become a jack of all trades. i paint, i draw, i dive, i swim i hike, i got high ranks in both tae kwon do and aikido (i dropped tae kwon do and he's pissed off), i play guitar, i play drums, i play flute (a requirement in highschool), pushes me to get good grades in school (above average but i'm not the type of getting honors although i did once but i never enjoyed it because it doesn't make any sense), wants me to handle the family business and the list goes on... one time i asked my dad why is he doing all this to me when my sister is just "slacking off", he answered and i like what he said because it makes sense:

"...because when you were a kid you showed signs you could and i'm just pushing you hard to fulfill your destiny. i want to to become all and have all you want and be a master of them all. if you do, no one's going to mess around with you and the people who you will be with are those of the same level as you are. no one's going to contest with you."

so i was thinking before he was an infj but i think he's more of intj. he's very quiet and REALLY distant (comes home after 2 or 5 years due to his work overseas). but the need of attention seems to be an f? i don't know... but going back, it still boils to one idea which is family's pride.
As I am reading this, wow you can do alot of things. Sure does sound like an INTJ ads; hey I can do all the above, who wants me join your organization. If you don't, then its your own loss.

[deicruxified]

As I am reading this, wow you can do alot of things. Sure does sound like an INTJ ads; hey I can do all the above, who wants me join your organization. If you don't, then its your own loss.
downside of it is you hardly earn friends because they're intimidated by your "prowess" in everything. most of them end up backstabbing you or something so just to "degrade" you. on the other hand, the good side is, if you get friends, they're of the same level as you are and the truest of all since you understand each other's language. i have to admit that i got a pet peeve for people who have very low self-esteem (i think most intj's are) and this pet peeve of mine is really extreme. i think pride has something to do with it... hell i don't care lol

[niffer]

Are all caucasians too busy stuffing McDicks into their gaping mouths to have educational lives?

...Hey, you're right! This actually IS a legitimate-sounding thread!

FTR, I am half-asian. You would not be able to believe the intricate webs of social connections that Asians and their families are able to maintain throughtout their lives. Having the latest texting interfaces on their unbeatably advanced models of cell phones certainly helps too.

[mind_wander]

Are all caucasians too busy stuffing McDicks into their gaping mouths to have educational lives?

...Hey, you're right! This actually IS a legitimate-sounding thread!

FTR, I am half-asian. You would not be able to believe the intricate webs of social connections that Asians and their families are able to maintain throughtout their lives. Having the latest texting interfaces on their unbeatably advanced models of cell phones certainly helps too.

That is very true and very hard to sever the connection, but that is what school is used for or online. Nice to have an ENFP in here, could you slowly introduced yourself niffer. Since, I never met an ENFP before.