Very shy extroverts, very uninhibited introverts - is it possible?

[sam988]

From knowing that extroverts are extroverts because they get energy from constantly intereacting with the environment and with other people, and introverts from wandering through the realms of their minds, i got this doubt.

Is it possible that an extrovert can be painfully shy? Because if he is, he is not going to be comfortable around people, and therefore he won't get energized by most intereactions with others, especially if he is in social situations where there are a lot of people, among them many unknown people. So can there be a very shy extrovert? I guess there can't, right?

Same with an introvert, just in the other way around. For example, as i've been growing i've been getting constantly more and more comfortable and confident around people, to the point now where i am very comfortable around others, be them known or unknown. I can talk (including small talk, which i used to hate) with them with considerable ease. So i'm on the point where i don't have any problem if there are people around, yet i still immensely value and love my time alone. What if there is an introvert that , because he got used to dealing with people, started really enjoying it, could it be possible that he would become an extrovert, or he, as much as he can deal with people, would never stop prefering to be alone than being with others?


I guess this topic is about whether being introvert x extrovert is genetical and no matter what happens in the environment, nothing will change that, of it is possible from a person born extrovert or introvert to "change sides" with the influence of the environment? Or will the person always remain, deep inside, with their born/genetically programmed side?

[raconteur213]

Very shy extroverts = most stand up comics

[Firelie]

An extrovert can be shy and still interact with people. I have an ESFP friend who is really shy around people she doesn't know and therefore doesn't make any new friends (though she really should...all her friends are either crazy or leeches). It was mind-boggling to me at first. Actually, it still is. Once she gets to know someone, though, she'll say and do anything to keep the socialization going.

[Mafiaangel180]

I've heard it said that ENFPs are the least extroverted of the extroverts. And yeah, it's true for me. I love being around people, but it can be difficult. I don't like to compete with the overly obnoxious loud types, add to the fact that I can get all introspective in public...and people think I'm shy.





Mafiaangel180 added to this post, 1 minutes and 24 seconds later...

Very shy extroverts = most stand up comics


Agreed. I met Colin Mocherie once, and he was sooooo shy.

[Courtney]

When I describe myself as introverted to my friends, they don't understand that because I laugh a lot, I'm loud at times, I'm moderately social and friendly,and I try to make small fun, so I appear extroverted. I'm not shy or anti-social, but I keep to personal issues to myself and I'm distance and reflective. I think that's what constitutes me as an introvert.

[Haphazard]

I would consider myself an uninhibited introvert. Once I have something to say, I'll talk your ear off. I can get very physical and very silly, but I still can't do 'small talk' on the normal level. Most of the time the sort of 'small talk' I create is making up silly events in history, or eventually degenerating into animal noises, but I never small talk in a normal fashion. I can't talk about boys or family or makeup or anything, so the average small talker would not find me very interesting.

The difference is that when I just meet somebody, I don't try to force myself on them. Extroverts will try to initiate conversation, when I won't. I can enjoy other people's company, but it truly is exhausting, especially if I can't find any common ground with them and just have to listen through idle chitter-chatter, and anybody that interrupts me when I'm alone I'll end up verbally biting their head off.

[TheLastMohican]

I am also a relatively uninhibited introvert. I usually think before I speak, but I enjoy occasionally engaging in fast-paced exchanges. It can be refreshing to speak with very little thought and see how long you can keep it up. Does your brain work faster than your mouth, or the other way around?

I also readily participate in debates, especially when I know the material well. The nice thing about being introverted is that I can easily keep myself busy with my own thoughts after everyone else is gone.

[curiousjane]

I would consider myself an uninhibited introvert. Once I have something to say, I'll talk your ear off. I can get very physical and very silly, but I still can't do 'small talk' on the normal level.

Ditto. Ditto. Ditto.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

(My brother is an outgoing ESTJ, but a stand-offish one. I am a shy INFP, but a social one. We used to tease each other that he was a bold introvert and I was a shy extrovert.)

[Haphazard]

Ditto. Ditto. Ditto.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

(My brother is an outgoing ESTJ, but a stand-offish one. I am a shy INFP, but a social one. We used to tease each other that he was a bold introvert and I was a shy extrovert.)

My brother (I think maybe an INTP, or INFP) once got into a discussion about alternative histories of sandwiches. It turned into a very long, intense conversation. However, when people start unloading family anecdotes or emotional baggage, I don't know what to say.

[errrzarrr]

I mainly stay calmed and don't speak so much. But when I am in a group of close friends I am very unhibited and I can be more funny than the E's of my group. They really enjoy me being there, and I feel well around them too.

[Pinkie]

Most of the time the sort of 'small talk' I create is making up silly events in history, or eventually degenerating into animal noises...


Ha! I thought that was just me and my brother (he's ISTP). We do a good line in whale impressions, especially. People tend to think we're quite odd.

[TheLastMohican]

My brother (I think maybe an INTP, or INFP) once got into a discussion about alternative histories of sandwiches. It turned into a very long, intense conversation. However, when people start unloading family anecdotes or emotional baggage, I don't know what to say.

Oh, the intense history of sandwiches. I'll bet I could take you apart in a debate on that. Your brother, too. Bring it on!

[Haphazard]

Oh, the intense history of sandwiches. I'll bet I could take you apart in a debate on that. Your brother, too. Bring it on!

No, it wasn't a debate, we were talking about what else we would be eating at a deli if, rather than making a 'sandwich' so that the Earl of Sandwich wouldn't so his hand while eating, that we'd have likely ended up with a kebab or even a shake. And then we started talking about what would happen if there was such thing if time had diverged at that point, making two alternate timelines, wherein in ours, the sandwich was the same as how we know and love, and in another it was something completely different, and it became talking about the sandwiches' affect on American culture...

Not a debate, speculation. Brainstorming. He doesn't like debate so much.

[buddingscholar]

That pretty much pegs me in my social interactions, but I also deeply enjoy long stretches of solitude (making me an introvert). An introvert is not always shy, nor is an extrovert necessarily gregarious.

[paradanmellow]

I tend to think that E/I is for life, especially when I look at my father who is an unhappy E (ENTP?). He used to be the heart of things when he was young, and each time he tells about what crazy things he and others did for fun I laugh to tears. Now I see what has become of him. He has no more good friends and thus has turned apparently I, but I know him well enough to tell that spending his time secluded only makes it worse, each day. :(

I can label myself as a shy E. I rarely find people that I can actually be "me" with, most of them misinterpret my intentions. I met too much S and F apparently.

[SShack]

Self-confidence is an issue separate from introversion or extroversion. An ENTx who grows up around people who don't understand his or her intellectual creativity and curiosity or worse, demeans it, will likely be shyer about communicating what's going on in his or her head. (I dealt with this as a child) But they may be good listeners and still develop good ideas and concepts based on their experiences with people and things around them. Sometimes I enjoy going to parties or gatherings and just listen to people talking and taking things in.

In the reverse, an INTx who grows up in an environment that fosters creativity and thought will be more confident when it comes to talking about the ideas in his or her head to others. But I suspect they still prefer to develop their ideas and concepts inwardly and push them out.

[TheLastMohican]

No, it wasn't a debate, we were talking about what else we would be eating at a deli if, rather than making a 'sandwich' so that the Earl of Sandwich wouldn't so his hand while eating, that we'd have likely ended up with a kebab or even a shake. And then we started talking about what would happen if there was such thing if time had diverged at that point, making two alternate timelines, wherein in ours, the sandwich was the same as how we know and love, and in another it was something completely different, and it became talking about the sandwiches' affect on American culture...

Not a debate, speculation. Brainstorming. He doesn't like debate so much.

Right, if they just invented the blender and threw in all the food, they could drink it...
Oh, the possibilities!

[Haphazard]

Right, if they just invented the blender and threw in all the food, they could drink it...
Oh, the possibilities!

Well, I would assume that it would have had to have been mashed finely by hand and then put into a liquid to make it drinkable, but these were wealthy nobles, their chefs would have done anything they ordered them to. If that were the case, though, the 'sandwich' would have become a delicacy.

[paradanmellow]

Self-confidence is an issue separate from introversion or extroversion. An ENTx who grows up around people who don't understand his or her intellectual creativity and curiosity or worse, demeans it, will likely be shyer about communicating what's going on in his or her head. (I dealt with this as a child) But they may be good listeners and still develop good ideas and concepts based on their experiences with people and things around them. Sometimes I enjoy going to parties or gatherings and just listen to people talking and taking things in.

In the reverse, an INTx who grows up in an environment that fosters creativity and thought will be more confident when it comes to talking about the ideas in his or her head to others. But I suspect they still prefer to develop their ideas and concepts inwardly and push them out.

:p exactly

[Motor Jax]

i would be an uninhibited intro since i have no problem at all getting infront of people to sing or talk

but i just cannot do the small talk

or even if i just met someone, to eat in front of them

i'm very private about my private life though

[antisocial one]

Hi there i have one question.

Can person be so introverted that he/she does not lose any energy in social activity?

Also i think that I am like this, it very probable that it is because there is no emotional link to drain energy from me.
My I is always extreme.

[Danneh]

I don't see myself as inhibited, but that might be the extrovert in me coming back out.

I just don't like sharing my ideas, unless I see you worthy of them. Other than that, I don't have much to hold me back.

[TheLastMohican]

Well, I would assume that it would have had to have been mashed finely by hand and then put into a liquid to make it drinkable, but these were wealthy nobles, their chefs would have done anything they ordered them to. If that were the case, though, the 'sandwich' would have become a delicacy.

Would you like to get together for a long brainstorming session on the possibilities involved in the invention of sandwiches and milkshakes? Maybe Daniel Day-Lewis would be interested, too...

[Haphazard]

Would you like to get together for a long brainstorming session on the possibilities involved in the invention of sandwiches and milkshakes? Maybe Daniel Day-Lewis would be interested, too...

Sounds like a blast, if you can pry me from my computer.

[malefide]

I have never had a problem with self-confidence in the strictest sense, but a lot of people would assume I might because of how quiet and unobtrusive I usually behave in public with most people. However I am not incapable or necessarily uncomfortable with behaving in a very "uninhibited" manner so a lot of people are surprised at how drastically I can change without much warning.

I know some people who are shy--implying social anxiety and lack of self-confidence in social situations--yet extraverted--implying a derivation of energy from others.

[Darkmist]

ENFP daughter: gets irritated by people and quite bitchy if shoved off her path of the day. She then needs time to rejuvenate alone or in the company of a few very close people, often family. But no more than a day or two or she grows bored and has to have interaction with the 'world outside.'

ENTP husband: similar to daughter, but can stand more alone time and maybe needs it. But that alone time has to include someone. He hates not having someone to share whatever he's doing with.

Myself and my son, both INTJ: can take it or leave it, usually prefer to leave it. If we're alone, we find ways to fill our time and amuse ourselves. If with others, we deal with it and enjoy or not depending on the company.

And boo to small talk. I never know what to say into the lapses, and get annoyed by the E types who wait for me to add something when they are perfectly capable, and better at the damned thing than I am.

[Tenacious B]

I guess I'm one of those extroverted introverts. Around people I know really well I might never shut up, around others might not say anything at all.

[Uberfuhrer]

Let's put it this way, I sometimes have the feeling that I might be an ENTP, because I'm not really a serious type. People have commented about me being really bouncy and goofy like an ENTP and not inclined to be serious. People often mistake me as an extrovert, so I often question if I actually prefer the company of others but has become a loner who feels rejected and paranoid and has since became a recluse.

I also don't have any close friends and my interactions with other people tend to be rather superficial. I tend to fear deep connection with others, which could suggest extroversion. My social skills are generally quite poor, and I have a habit of alienating others because they think I'm weird. And I think this could be a factor that has made me feel I'm an introvert. Much of my extroversion consists of listening to myself talk, so it's extroversion, but it's just not proper social behavior. Although poor social skills are a trait attributed to NT types, in general.

On the Cognitive Functions test, I score very high on both Ne and Ni, suggesting N dominance. I always felt like an N dominant, though, because ever since I was little, my creative play was in the realm of fanciful thinking, invention, and imagination rather than playing physical games with others. I was also more systems-oriented than people-oriented, but not systems-oriented enough to be considered logical, which would suggest that my T function had a place in the auxiliary slot. In the Cognitive Functions assessment, my Ti is higher than my Te.

I often think that I might just be an extrovert with social anxiety. I may be an extrovert for the simple fact that I become anxious with deep connections with others, even though the idea sometimes sounds intriguing. Regardless, I resemble both the INTJ and ENTP descriptions more than any other type.

[enfpchick]

The same is true for me as well although I love being around people sometimes i turn into myself. This usually happens when there are louder extroverts. I just don't compete them and people think I'm shy.
this happened the other day when i was hanging out with my INTJ friend and another loud extrovert came and i just turned into myself and he turned around and asked what was wrong with me.

[Darkmist]

The main difference that I have experienced with E verus I in the Rationals is that the ENTP I know needs others' approval, though he seems at times to loathe that aspect of himself. Whereas I need to be left alone to do my own thing and come to people if I need them for something, companionship included. He needs others to want and need him. I need others to fulfill my needs and sweep me from myself.

When I say this it sounds alike to me, but there is a huge difference. Approval maybe. Hope this helps.

[mkay]

I'm an ENTP who needs more alone time than not. That's why I've been happy with an INTJ for 17 years. ... I grew up independent, introspective and confident. I'm not shy, but I don't crave attention.

I find stupid people draining. I find people who need a lot of attention draining. I usually avoid mixers and such because of the small talk. (I was in a management training workshop when I mentioned this, and the instructor asked what I would do if I were a CEO attending a company mixer. I said if I were CEO, there would be no company mixers.)

[acyckowski]

I think the I is expressed differently in the other types.

My wife's ISTJ (as opposed to ESTJ) always puzzled me, because she is so active and engaged around family and friends. Similarly, she can't be left alone in a room....she'll drop what she's doing and come find me, with no particular reason. Seems a whole lot like extraversion to me, but then she gets quiet, reserved, and withdrawn in the presence of strangers.

It appears to me that her sense of "introversion" is somewhat communal in nature. She draws her I energy from a small number of people close to her. This may be similar to Darkmist's ENTP husband, who has to be alone with somebody.

[celesul]

I'm not so shy now, although I'm still quiet for an E, but when I was little, although after age 5, I was painfully shy, and, being an extravert, not very happy because I was scared of people but needed them. It's not a pleasant position. I do tend to work best one on one, but that's mostly because I've been yelled at too much for interrupting, so I can't easily. I only realized recently how E I am, but I despise idiots, and would rather be alone than with them. Which meant I've been alone a lot. ^.~