A Series of Unfortunate Events

[Nikita]

In many stories, good events intersect with the bad to offer hope and sustain faith. What if the story never has that lift?

I'll start the story, and each poster adds to it with the next unfortunate twist.


On the way to work, I get a flat tire, so I get out of the car to fix it.

[reb]

after putting the jack where the manual says to, the dang jack sinks in the warm asphalt, and the car winds up sitting on its brake disc.

[Nikita]

A good samaritan stops and offers his help. He pulls out a knife to "fix" the problem and presses it to your throat as you bend to examine the car.

[OwenF]

As the carbon-steel blade rasps against your skin, you suddenly realize that there’s a very good chance you forgot to turn off the space heater in the bathroom.

[Dolores]

You wince and raise your hand and get stung by a wasp.

[OwenF]

You curse and sob, making the Samaritan increasingly angry.

[Nikita]

He knocks you unconscious and unbuckles his pants.

[SAnnBR]

because he needs to take a piss but doesn't want to leave you

[Nikita]

The grass doesn't seem such a good target compared to you.

[OwenF]

And for the enormous comet that you are not yet aware of, Mars doesn’t seem such a good target compared to Earth.

[Nikita]

Mars spins wildly out of orbit.

[kazzamunga]

this has an instantaneous effect on the weather...hailstones the size of golf balls.

[Nikita]

You can't get to cover and are wearing only a bathing suit.

[kazzamunga]

A white bathing suit. you weren't planning on going swimming.

[Nikita]

Nor were you planning on losing bits of flesh in the hail storm, but they've started pelting you.

[kazzamunga]

hand severed at the wrist; at least it doesn't sting anymore.

[Nikita]

She hears a child screaming in the distance and runs to help him, but on the way falls into an uncovered manhole.

[Dolores]

She breaks her leg.

[Nikita]

...as she landed in a stream of human waste.

[reiven]

her screams are heard by a passing EMT who lowers a rope to her.
just as she wraps the rope around her waist, the EMT's estranged Latina girlfriend calls his cell phone.

[Stratego]

He says, "Hey could joo hold on a minute?" (Latino accent) and when he pulls his cell phone from his pocket she notices it's a flip phone. Needing both hands, he releases the rope...

[reiven]

she looks up to find the source of the commotion, just in time for the steel tipped end of the rope to hit her square in the eye and rupture her cornea. she gives up and sits down to cry.

[Cooper]

At which point, she realizes that she is the star of a neverending tale of woe.

[Stratego]

Said woe, a word which here means, "great sorrow," was only to increase, for a Foul Sewage Creature heard her cries...

[Cooper]

He popped his head out of the manhole and grinned an evil grin upon seeing her.

[Distance]

But something about the hail damage pattern on her face and body, appealed to his aesthetic side.

[reiven]

summoning every ounce of energy she had left, she leaped on top of the Foul Sewage Creature, and in one fell motion, she climbed to his shoulders and jumped through the opening to the street above, breaking a finger nail.

[Tough Love]

Too bad she didnt see the truck.....