No longer able to tolerate social life

[Opivy1980]

I can no longer tolerate having friends or significant others. I am tired of fake people and people who cannot see my perspective. My last friend and I had a disagreement and he decided he no longer wanted to be around me at all due to the fact that I tried to make him understand why having a job and planning things are necessary. I haven't dated in 3 years and have been celibate as a result. My therapist asked me what I find joy in and I never really have to be honest. I am getting to the point that being out in public actively bothers me and cannot find a solution. I know this isn't healthy but I hate the idea of having to actively go out and meet people.

Does anyone have any ideas preferably from previous experience on how to get out of this slump. I am not the easiest person to deal with, but like most INTJ's once I find someone worth my time, I am a good friend and partner, I just cringe at the idea of having to meet new people.

[dandylion]

I had this problem once. I used a method called estrangement. I dumped my old friends. I just quietly cut off any connections to them, stopping hanging out with them and whatnot. I didn't make a big deal out of it. If they tried to call me or request to go out, I'd decline and pretend to be busy. I didn't try to meet new people or make new friends; I just focused on whatever I needed to do, and eventually new, more interesting people came to me. I haven't tired of them yet. But that's just me.

[Headstrong]

I had this problem once. I used a method called estrangement. I dumped my old friends. I just quietly cut off any connections to them, stopping hanging out with them and whatnot. I didn't make a big deal out of it. If they tried to call me or request to go out, I'd decline and pretend to be busy. I didn't try to meet new people or make new friends; I just focused on whatever I needed to do, and eventually new, more interesting people came to me. I haven't tired of them yet. But that's just me.

I am actually in a similar process right now. I started college last fall, most of my few good friends moved away, and the ones that stayed in the area I stopped seeing. Granted, they're into stuff that I do not want to have any part in, but that made the choice easier. Right now, I am probably down to one or three people I keep in contact with from high school. (That being generally over AIM, what have you.) Even those relationships that I want to keep are becoming strained as the weeks go by.

Opivy1980- I completely understand. I am not, however, looking for a way to change this. Therefore, I'm probably not of much use. College and group projects have helped me to gain budding friendships. They probably will not go anywhere after the semester, but hey, it's something.

My only advice is don't go about your daily life looking to make small talk/friends. It will eventually just happen. Waiting is the worst part.

[Blacklustre King]

Same here, people with a hollowed persona fall out of ranks with me very quickly... I have had this problem, but think of it as a gift for at least it lets you know who is and who is not a good friend post haste.

As far as the social scene, screw that. Never been part of it and never plan to be.

I have maybe four really good friends. The rest, associates who they know, seems I've attracted the strangest people in my town to myself...

[Antares]

Does anyone have any ideas preferably from previous experience on how to get out of this slump. I am not the easiest person to deal with, but like most INTJ's once I find someone worth my time, I am a good friend and partner, I just cringe at the idea of having to meet new people.

Well, I think an INTx would be able to identify with you. If you need to come out of your 'shell', I suggest ENTPs. My first real friend was an INFJ, although she was more of a thinker at the time and I was more of a feeler. An ENTP can identify very well with me and although they annoy me, they're really good at 'energizing' me, if you will. I used to be friends with many other girls my age, but I quickly became tired of them.

[DeadSpace]

Recently went through something similiar, took off two years to rebuild myself. Come to terms with people, and society in general. Still irritates me how so many can be so short sighted, rationalise behavior that's destructive to themselves and others, and seem completely unable to think beyond how to get what they want...but now more able to tolerate it. Socialising i still don't like, but not difficult, just tiring. I like live music, which requires at least being around people, if not interacting with them.

The rest of the time, MMO's, this and other forums, and chat rooms. Not the same as actually being in close proximity with others...but much less demanding. And it is socialising. ;) Just not the traditional way.

[sriv]

This is exactly what I posted in another thread. You may want to try these techniques out.

"I try to make a few good friends wherever I go.

Types of people I interact with-

1. Knowledge carriers - people that have knowledge and are willing to teach me. often they end up lecturing me, the pupil. I love learning.
2. Interesting people - people that I find have unconventional traits/interests. I like to see their perspective on things.
3. Time-killers - people that I talk to for the purpose of killing time, practicing social skills (small talk, keeping a conversation going, etc.), and look like I am socializing. this often leads to people considering me more approachable. I have added this to my list only recently and my social life has dramatically improved.
4. Obligation - everyone else that I am obligated to talk to, whether they strike a conversation with me and I do not want to be awkward, or members of my family who I develop strong relationships with that do not belong to other categories.

These are ways that I am not a loner. You may consider these techniques selfish, I find them very workable and applicable to life."

Try to plan the type of people you hang out with and make sure it is well worth your time. Your therapist is right. You need to find a purpose in life and set some goals. One of my purposes in life is not being an ignorant imbecile so I try to orient my time around knowledge carriers. People will accept you if you open up a bit. It takes a lot of effort, but ultimately worth it. Open up as in, tell them a little about yourself. Either be really honest or tell them an interesting, but all out lie about your life. I suggest being honest. Some things that I have been told work well are always smiling, laughing freely, and use a moderate amount of body language.

[futureperfect5]

Does anyone have any ideas preferably from previous experience on how to get out of this slump. I am not the easiest person to deal with, but like most INTJ's once I find someone worth my time, I am a good friend and partner, I just cringe at the idea of having to meet new people.
Okay, stop ...

Why the therapist?
Why pressure yourself to do things "because they are healthy"
Why not plan a trip or find a way to move -- elsewhere.

Have you ever had a massage? Or, could you take private yoga lessons?
Maybe learn to fence or take up martial arts: physical and mental structure, socializing, takes away tension, excellent discipline, meditation ...

There is no time limit (to anything), no expectations except the ones that you impose -- upon yourself.

Finding quality people is a hard thing -- especially if they have to fit into your idea of how people should be. Maybe you could allow others a little space for their individuality, as you (and we would) demand for yourself?

Drink a half glass of red wine (or, champagne) with your evening meal and listen to quiet music -- I get very anxious, sometimes: I think that it is normal. Here's an idea ... let go of it -- cry ...

Relax.
Buy a puppy or a kitten.
Do some volunteer work for something that is important to you -- probably the best place to meet someone.

Grab a senior citizen or two and pour your heart out --- these people know stuff (and, they don't cost a dime -- usually).

Think about and do little things that make you happy.

[bebegirl]

I agree with you....making new friends seems like such a chore sometimes! I used to look at people and think "why would I want to be friends with you? What do you have to offer me?" But I have learned over the years that to be so isolated isn't really the best way. One thing I know is that I need to get out of my head more and listen to other perspectives on things instead of going around and around with my own ideas (even if they are usually good ones haha)...and you will know who is a good worthwhile person right away and will only have people of value in your life anyways since you are too "in tune" to deal with phony bullshit anyways. So I would keep trying, join a class, etc. (didn't check to see how old you are :) ) and you might be surprised that you enjoy knowing people who are very different from you. For example, I discovered my girlfriend is an ENFP and we are such a compliment to each other even though I don't agree with a lot of things she does (actually doesn't do haha). But she is a great person to know and it's nice to know people who care about you who are trying to understand you too....Good luck with everything!!

[juchestyle]

Hey guys, I feel the INTJ pain. I recently decided to go back to school and get my MBA. I half reasoned that there must be other intelligent people pursuing education and that maybe if I put myself there, I will run into them and have a better go at life. This is working on some level. Why not take classes of some sort, it doesn't need to be for anything other than fun. We do enjoy the learning process.

[Opivy1980]

I am in school but everyone is extremely younger than me. I am in my late 20's and most of them can't even drink yet. I have started to look into a few different clubs on campus and will see where that goes. I already drink wine on the weekends, I don't enjoy altruism, or senior citizens for that matter. Most people I meet I can only tolerate for a short period of time. Even my friendships usually only last about a year before I just stop having interest in the person and start criticizing everything about them. I see a therapist because I am concerned that I am headed for schizophrenia, and I need to vent to someone and I don't have anyone else.

[futureperfect5]

I am in school but everyone is extremely younger than me. ...

... I am glad that you are reaching out to someone who can hopefully help you -- and I would let a trained professional think about the real concern for you.

Certainly, I do not mean to seem as though I lack empathy ... I spend a lot of time alone. I always have.

The point of having relationships is to have interest in focusing on other people and their needs, too. If you are not interested in being there for others ... then, you will experience periods of loneliness.

There is a trade off for your lack of interest ... I am not willing to thin that it is wrong or indicative of a problem. Maybe you need time to yourself at intervals.

Have you ever seen this film called EQUILIBRIUM? I think you might like to check it out.

You might want to have an IQ test done as well (no, it isn't a digg -- maybe you just are not challenged enough socially) you may need a different environment and people on a level that you can relate to them better (even a different culture) ...

Also, would ou share with me if you are an only child? Thanks and best ...

[Opivy1980]

I have an IQ of between 130-160 depending on the test, and I am not an only child.

[thod]

Yawn, another guy telling us how high his IQ is.

When you look at the poll on this forum of peoples IQ's you think "wow all these geniuses signed up for one forum". Heck there are guys that reported IQ's of 185. That makes them the smartest guy in the greater London area and here he is on this forum.
Where do people get these scores from? internet tests?

INTJs have a need for a self image of competence, especially cerebral competence so they delude themselves into these unfeasible IQ scores. Nobody wants to be thought of as a dummy and therefore not worth reading.

[TheLastMohican]

When you look at the poll on this forum of peoples IQ's you think "wow all these geniuses signed up for one forum". Heck there are guys that reported IQ's of 185. That makes them the smartest guy in the greater London area and here he is on this forum.
Where do people get these scores from? internet tests?

INTJs have a need for a self image of competence, especially cerebral competence so they delude themselves into these unfeasible IQ scores. Nobody wants to be thought of as a dummy and therefore not worth reading.

I think it is likely that those with higher IQ's are the ones posting their IQ's on the forum. I do not think that there is such a low probability that they exist here. While some internet tests give grossly inflated scores, the math is not against such a high occurrence:

Approx. 1,800 members.
Approx. 50 posted IQ's

So about 1 out of 36 members posted his IQ.

Statistically, 37% of INTJ's are in the top 2% of the IQ score distribution.

The threshhold for the top 2% is around an IQ of 135 (depending on where you look).

Of the posted IQ's, the average is approx. 140.

So you see, it is certainly not a stretch for the overall sample to be correct, if you consider that the posters tended to be in the upper third of the INTJ range (which I would expect anyway). There are some unlikely outliers, most of which occurred with a particularly inflated test. But I do not think that the INTJ's are lying about their scores, or that the average is unrealistic.

[Follow]

Hey guys, I feel the INTJ pain. I recently decided to go back to school and get my MBA. I half reasoned that there must be other intelligent people pursuing education and that maybe if I put myself there, I will run into them and have a better go at life. This is working on some level. Why not take classes of some sort, it doesn't need to be for anything other than fun. We do enjoy the learning process.

Wow, I remember going to school for exactly this reason back in the day too. I reasoned that if I got myself into an ivy league or upper establishment school of some type, I would find people that I was genuinely interested in spending time with. Long story short, I worked my way into a law school with a very low acceptance rate, then couldn't afford to go... But in the meantime, I looked for the people anyway and found many of them, but they too disappointed me after a while. Sure, we had some great cerebral conversations that satisfied me a time or two, but after even a short period of time, I felt like I was bored with their repetitive garbage and their impermeable paradigms of lies.

This experiment is obviously ongoing, but there are some conclusions to be drawn. One of which, I've found is that the average person is utterly influenced by their culture, it's something that they're just not able to break out of. The media, movies, TV, news, politicians, they all tell people how they're supposed to think, feel, and act. If you don't despise child sex offenders, then you're obviously deficient. What?

It doesn't work, don't go looking for these people in the hope that certain areas will have stronger concentrations of them. We are naturally solitary people, no matter who it is (even other INTJs), we will eventually get to a boiling point with them. The question is only how long it will take to reach that boiling point. We are too stubborn for "long term" friendships.


I am in school but everyone is extremely younger than me. I am in my late 20's and most of them can't even drink yet. I have started to look into a few different clubs on campus and will see where that goes. I already drink wine on the weekends, I don't enjoy altruism, or senior citizens for that matter. Most people I meet I can only tolerate for a short period of time. Even my friendships usually only last about a year before I just stop having interest in the person and start criticizing everything about them. I see a therapist because I am concerned that I am headed for schizophrenia, and I need to vent to someone and I don't have anyone else.

What you're looking for here is not Schizophrenia, it's Schizoid, totally different thing. I am described as a Schizoid personality (and very accurately so at that), and I imagine many others here would be described the same way. I'm not sure it's a deficiency myself. My wife would always ask me why I didn't have close friends to reason my problems out with, and I always told her I didn't need them. We would have discussions for hours about the perceived benefits of friends and why we should all have a circle of friends. I don't see that reasoning, I just don't understand it at all. I don't think there is anything particularly wrong with wanting to have no friends or even avoiding any close ties or severing them after they've existed a while.

In other words, I'm not sure that a Schizoid personality is any kind of "disorder" just a different type of person. I refuse to call it a "disorder" because I don't see how my life is any poorer as a Schizoid. Here are some links for further reference.

What is Schizoid (Wiki): To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

This is an article written by a person who believes Schizoid is not a disorder, but an "oppressed" group of the population. I don't know about "oppressed," but I can certainly agree with the premise that the "disorder" is blown out of proportion: To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Yawn, another guy telling us how high his IQ is.

When you look at the poll on this forum of peoples IQ's you think "wow all these geniuses signed up for one forum". Heck there are guys that reported IQ's of 185. That makes them the smartest guy in the greater London area and here he is on this forum.
Where do people get these scores from? internet tests?

INTJs have a need for a self image of competence, especially cerebral competence so they delude themselves into these unfeasible IQ scores. Nobody wants to be thought of as a dummy and therefore not worth reading.

The IQ score was part of the conversation. He didn't just offer it to show us all how smart he is, he answered someone's question with it.

[AgentofGaming]

I went through self-isolation before, I thought it was a good idea but it ended up being a pain. During high school I used to go with this social group, and deep down I didn't really like them. Then I moved and was rather relieved to be rid of them and enjoyed the social isolation at first. However I noticed I was severely inconvenienced with a lack of acquaintances. Choosing lab partners and forming groups become annoying since it would always result in situations where I depended on the teacher to assign me. Also working with people I didn't know was kind of hard since I'd always have this feeling I wanted nothing to do with them.

After high school I got into engineering at a prestigious university. I thought I'd make friends with similar minded people, and I did meet a lot of people (for an introvert) but I only got one real friend out of it. That friend changed schools and the other people I met, well I never felt comfortable associating with them after that semester or they dropped out. So now I'm back to square one, but with an odd discomfort of not knowing anyone, it feels like being stranded.

If anything I have noticed social networking is important to one's success, it's a necessary resource to have others to work with, trust and get help from. Not to mention the opportunities that come from networking. That's why I see the need to tolerate and even aggressively pursue a social life now no matter how against my nature it is.

It seems friend making is a bit hard for me. Being introverted sort of diminishes the incentive and sometimes can make it really hard work. Not to mention I have periods where I feel like withdrawing again. It's quite visible to me too, I look back on my posting and I noticed some days I'll post a lot, and other days when I don't feel like communicating with people I'll just observe. Probably in a withdrawal stage now, but I thought writing it out would help.

[FerventBull]

I find it constantly intrigued how every INTJ has had such similar experiences as the other. I stumbled upon this forum a few days ago not planning to register, but I found myself wrapped up in the way each of you speak so similar as well as the issues discussed. It was not until recently, that my own MBTI was revealed to me and it made my life a lot clearer.

Currently, I'm at a college in Orlando, Florida for Animation pursuing my dream job, and its all because I picked myself up from where you are right now. It's been said a person's worst enemy is the one looking back at you in the mirror, and it with INTJ's its especially true. We set our expectations and limitations, occasionally turning our incredible willpower against ourselves. We covet our solitude, but no connection to the rest of life obliterates our enthusiasm.

Realize that you can structure, and organize better than most people on the planet. You can use your outstanding perseverance to overcome any obstacle if you face it. INTJ's do not like to lose and normally do not unless it's accepted.

I had a fear of social interaction...nay a discomfort. Thats all it is...surround yourself with what your afraid of and you will harden to it. What did I do? I became a Salesman for motorcycles by my Senior year in High School, to force myself to become comfortable with social interaction.

It was uncomfortable at first, then I realized I could use my natural intuition, and nail driving intelligence to guide my way through a conversation. Next thing I knew my gut was not turning talking to strangers...I was dating 3 different women at a time, and impromptu speeches at college became table talk between two close friends.

My point its if you want to change this miserable feeling you have, do activities that surround you with it. Your an INTJ. You'll develop a plan, a formula to use as a crutch in conversations until its your new avenue of expertise. As with myself I still find others who do not understand most of what I do or say, but I can guide them through the jigsaw puzzle that is the INTJ mind. Show others not to pay attention to the words that are spoken but the subtle actions that describe your intentions.

Hope that helped. If it is unclear...just shout.

*As a side note read Think and Grow Rich and watch Count of Monte Cristo. It should be of some massive use to you.

[INTJoe]

Opivy, try to learn to see the good in other people. To be selfish about it...use them for what they have that you have not. They may not be interesting, but you can learn from everybody. Even Extraverted Sensors, if you can believe that. ;)

Your IQ is high, but I don't think its at the wear-the-same-pants-everyday-poop-in-my-pants level.

Good luck.

THOD: He wasn't pro-actively bragging...someone brought up the issue of high IQ as it relates to social interaction. But generally I agree with you, even on this site, many of the scores listed are likely off, and some are likely wayyyy off. Like 2 sigmas off. :laugh:

[cda]

I had a nightmarish time with getting to know new people. It just wasn't my thing, but then I found the INTJ forum and realized I wasn't defective, the rest of the world was just inferior and we have to deal with it. [/ego] I found that if you grab a few top headlines from the paparazzi, its a good way to weather the storm into a more meaningful waste of time :)

[FerventBull]

Opivy, try to learn to see the good in other people. To be selfish about it...use them for what they have that you have not. They may not be interesting, but you can learn from everybody. Even Extraverted Sensors, if you can believe that. ;)

Your IQ is high, but I don't think its at the wear-the-same-pants-everyday-poop-in-my-pants level.

Good point, I take everyone as a learning experience even if its "what not to do" it still guiding you either way. Just remember knowledge is not power its only potential power. Its how you organize it that makes a difference.

As for IQ...its not a bad thing to have a high one, but I would not go parading around with it. It only proves an area of your intelligence to me. A highly book smart individual can be poor, pessimistic, and as a result unsuccessful/unhappy.

Where as a street smart witty man who has learned to stay the course with perseverance and optimism until obstacles fall around him, can become more successful than just about anyone on the planet. Look at Thomas Edison....or Henry Ford. I think thats what INTJoe was getting at.

[escapist11]

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[TheLastMohican]

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As if that's a bad thing? Might as well keep those viewing your profile guessing, IMHO.

[FerventBull]

hah thats good stuff!

[dissident]

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At least you have a facebook account. I spend a couple hours a day on the net every day and don't even have one, let alone a myspace account. And the forums I do visit regularly.. gold and silver forums, collectors universe forums, godlike productions, and now this forum.. no friends on any. :thumbsup:

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[Mr Zip]

Op Ivy, (btw, I love operation Ivy.... old punk and ska.... hard to beat sir)

Ive gone through the same things, most of my life. Social situations quite frankly, like small talk and petty conversation makes absolutely no sense to me, and it plagued me for years... I just didnt know why.

INTJ's are all very different, but I believe we're all not neurotypical. In fact, the more I study Aspergers syndrome, I think INTJ is another way to say that, but a bit of a more positive spin on how certain peoples brains work, which is a good way and the way I choose to look at it.

I used to go through long periods of depression because social situations seemed to leave to alot of dead ends for me, and were very draining. I did them fine, and was able to muddle my way through them and actually had an easy time making friends, but 1 out of 100 I felt were significant and worth wanting to hang out with. Parties, and get togethers.... teamwork --- I just don't get them. I understand that most people NEED that, but to be honest, I rarely do, and a little bit of that goes a long way.

Give yourself time dude. My favorite thing in the world is my motorcycle. I take weekend trips by myself and sort out my world and come back monday a new person. I honestly think the challenge of being the way we are (not all of us, but some of us) is to accept thats how your brain works, and stop fighting it. It takes away the anxiety and since I realzed this about myself, ive come to realize that the world NEEDS INTJ's. Straight up. Yeah, we're blunt, yeah we're analytical, but the world has enough over emotional crap and sometimes just needs a little engineering and rational thought without being fettered with over emotion.

A good INTJ/aspie friend of mine explained it to me this way: when you don't sense and read people emotionally, you have to read them analytically, and its draining. I think thats true.

Good luck with your journey brotha. I would say go with it. Lifes alot easier when you dont fight it, and just understand yourself.

Shit, i sound like a hippie. Im out of here.

[Metamorphosis]

It's like how a person who never eats breakfast gets sick if they do eat it, whereas someone who always eats breakfast starves if they don't.

[Grizzly]

Unfortunately all the advice I can offer is to join clubs that interest you (even vaguely)

Other than that start drinking more than wine. I used alcohol to get past the debilitating apprehension in social situations. I would recommend against whiskey as it tends to make people more argumentative and aggressive.

Ive been in similar slumps on occassions and I usually resolve it my moving to another country or town. That way forcing myself to re-establish personal ties to people.

Or try to find one or two very gregarious social butterfly's and ally yourself with them. I feel similar anxiety around unstructured social events, so i use these people as buffers. Not only do they handle most of the useless conversation starting and ice breaking, but they will also introduce you to other people.

[sriv]

What kind of person would recommend someone to drink their problems away? You are disgusting.

Drinking is weak. It is when the individual fails to deal with reality and goes to substances to forget his worries. Damn it, accept the bitter truth of life.

[AgentofGaming]

What kind of person would recommend someone to drink their problems away? You are disgusting.

Drinking is weak. It is when the individual fails to deal with reality and goes to substances to forget his worries. Damn it, accept the bitter truth of life.

I think he meant social drinking to reduce social anxiety.
Not drinking to get drunk and not have to deal with social problems.

[sriv]

Willpower is far more powerful than substances. Will the anxiety away.

[AgentofGaming]

Willpower is far more powerful than substances. Will the anxiety away.
Not that I encourage the use of substances but, will power doesn't accomplish everything. The mind has it's own limits.
If will power was enough to overpower subconscious processes there'd be no need for psychologists and psychiatrists.

[sriv]

Some have more influence over unconcious process than others. It may just be a matter of not having tried hard enough.

[Phrixos]

I founded the popular peoples front of social isolation. But heaps of people joined... so i dissolved the club and kicked everyone out of my house.

You can't escape them. Learn to take the good they have to offer and use it for your own purposes. Lend an ear to someone, and they wont even have to agree to your ideas etc.

[Grizzly]

sriv-
As he mentioned that he was already drinking wine I didnt think it out of order to suggest he become more proficient at it.

I agree dependency is disgusting, whether it be to a substance or to pessimistic aphorisms

[sriv]

Just dont give advice like that again plz.

[capricornintj]

I had this problem once. I used a method called estrangement. I dumped my old friends. I just quietly cut off any connections to them, stopping hanging out with them and whatnot. I didn't make a big deal out of it. If they tried to call me or request to go out, I'd decline and pretend to be busy. I didn't try to meet new people or make new friends; I just focused on whatever I needed to do, and eventually new, more interesting people came to me. I haven't tired of them yet. But that's just me.

I go through the same thing. Every 5-7 years I fire all of the broken people that I've managed to collect. Must admit that I like your term "estrangement" better. Each time I end up with a new set of friends. That said, I have managed to keep a small core of five long-term friends, ranging from 17-22 years. I think it works because they are all low maintenance friendships.

[changos]

dandylion
Ive done the same (formatting the friends-hard drive) But after several years (I'm 30) I discovered that a lot of people cared about me (even if I just couldn't stand being close to them) and I really hurt some of them just by isolating myself.

My worst is my way of getting over a girlfriend... It cuts me, it hurts me and then I'm done... but they stay in deep pain for more time trying to understand why "it was so easy for me" while is not easy, never...

[azelismia]

I have had groups of friends in the past.. But I cut all of them out of my life in my early 20's. I have a few friends now but they're all online even the ones I know IRL. I don't see anyone or go out with people other than my bf and family. I just don't have the bandwidth for it. Now and again I'll go out with my boyfriends friends but I just am not into the junk that comes with friends. I recently reconnected with some friends from junior high. All I wanted was to exchange a couple emails and sort of catch up that way but it turned into a steady volley of call me and let's go out... I just hid. I am not schizoid. this is my only quirk. I don't have any of the other criteria. I've almost constantly had a boyfriend of some sort, I do not cut myself off from family. I do have emotions and I do show them. I do like my online friendships. They are safe and on my terms.
I don't think it means you necessarily fit a mental disorder because people tire you. if you meet all of the dsm, lack of emotion, lack of enjoyment in anything, lack of desire to be around anyone at all so on and so forth help is a good thing to seek. If you just want to be alone and can find pleasure in life on your own terms then don't fix what's not broken. just my two cents.

[alone]

I think you need to go meet someone you respect. I have found a lot of people I greatly respect in the martial arts, for example. You need to meet someone who knows more than you and can teach you something, or at least who you feel is worthy of your respect. I would suggest going to do some aikido, kenjutsu, brazilian jujutsu (e.g. gracie style), internal kung fu like tai-chi, xingyi, or bagua, etc. You'll probably meet someone cool there.

Otherwise, you could just find a good cafe where lots of students and interesting people hang out who have some intellectual capacity. You will overhear something interesting at some point, and can chime in and say 'oh, are you studying x? that's interesting - i know nothing about that..." etc. Most people in that situation are pretty easy to talk to, and easy to become friends with, potentially...





alone added to this post, 10 minutes and 25 seconds later...

Regarding IQ, I posted my IQ in my intro only because I think it is part of who I am and is related to my INTJ-ness. As INTJs, people here should be able to accept that someone posting their IQ here may be motivated only by a desire to convey facts and nothing like normal peoples' desire to show off or whatever.

For me it is just a relevant fact, as I was tested in kindergarten (and later), moved to 1st grade, moved back to kindergarten, isolated by doing advanced work separate from my classmates, etc.